


A Castle of Twigs and Thistles

by flowerheaddress



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-25 09:09:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 187,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerheaddress/pseuds/flowerheaddress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In 8-year-old Louis Tomlinson’s world, things were bleak and desolate. Yet, when discovering the boy swaddled to his jumper that had been watching him pass everyday from primary since his arrival to the other side of the thicket, Louis’ life takes a turn in brilliance and beauty that had never graced him until the clouds were brushed from his eyes by the tiny hands and arms littered with the bruises of a conflicted past and a wary future. Swept into imagination, Louis must learn to love and let go when life interrupts the adventures that carry both boys far from the gloom of the tiny village nestled away to the hills just out from London’s crawling city limits. In again falling to his desires of a bustling, full life and the hidden world he’d never known to be reality tangled within the brambles and weeds, Louis must take reigning place to the side of the invisible boy and his kingdom no one had dared to find where nothing is what it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction and the story can be read in FULL at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist! If you have a Tumblr, I would love it if you would come give a little love to acotat's masterpost with a like or a re-blog, as most authors love to have any kind of reciprocation toward their work in knowing that they're putting out quality work! Kudos and comments here are welcomed and loved as well! I decided I'd post here as a courtesy to those who aren't able to access Tumblr, or would like the chance to download the story. Of course I'll shamelessly offer acotat's original link at the top of every chapter, seeing that Tumblr is where I post all writing updates! Happy reading! xo
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,  
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;  
The admission is free, so pay at the door,  
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.  
  
One bright day in the middle of the night,  
Two _dead_ boys got up to fight;  
Back to back they faced each other,  
Drew their swords and shot each other.  
  
A blind man came to watch fair play,  
A mute man came to shout 'Horray!'  
A deaf policeman heard the noise and  
Came to stop those _two_ dead boys.  
  
I watched from the corner of the big round table,  
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;  
But if you doubt my lies are true,  
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.”

                                                            - True author _unknown_

  


⊱⊰


	2. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Only the dreamer shall understand realities, though in truth one's dreaming must be not out of proportion to his waking; for we all seek tragedies and affliction.”

 

 

[Dream of Flying](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THQM52jk0gg)

 

 

In the eyes of child, mother is God.

Mother is warrior, mother is savior and mother is all knowing who holds the light to fight away trolls and shadows from beneath the bed that claw and ravage the sheets to cling wildly to the ankles and feet of shivering children huddled to their pillows. But perhaps, mother was never able to truly see them, for has she really ever? What’s to explain the difference of those that truly exist to devour us through the night, or a mere inception of a fitful night’s sleep?

8-year-old Louis Tomlinson’s feet cut slowly before him as the heavy air of the brisk afternoon crept beneath the collar of his coat and licked down his spine. There was something magical in that moment as Louis’ eyes slowly opened, the world seemingly laid beneath him as he tucked his feet tightly beneath his body and fell hurdling toward the wood chuckings that scattered to his great gust of wind at his shove back. Swinging quickly forward, Louis closed his eyes to the bite of the cold as he again felt lifted, his bum raising gently off the swing as the chatter of the other children about the playground fell quiet to his ears that seemed to roar to the wind surging past in the slowing of the time that escaped his mind.

In that moment, Louis was weightless and thinking of the possibility of flying, his bum again lifting from the seat of the swing in his surge forward as he pictured himself completely leaving from the seat and spreading his arms wide to the wind that would instantly gather to his stomach and carry him far above the treetops, the tiny village laid beneath him as he flew toward the muted sun of the furthered horizon that bit and pleaded for solace of the veil of clouds both masking and suffocating to death the light that never quite reached the cheeks or the tiny legs carrying puffing bodies to the wild and overgrown grasses, or the long, plaited hair of little girls gossiping to the corners of the confines of the organized chaos and frenzy.

Breathing deeply, Louis’ body seemed to move as if on impact as a distant rumble sounded in the distance, his tawny and soft eyes opening to the vision of the people of a bustling and far away London moving as if little bugs and ants below, their heads inclined back as they looked to the vision of what they’d think was boy, but never quite believing they’d seen differently as they raised tiny hands to bid him past.

Looking to the faint glow of the lights of London trapped to the crystal of the vastly moving, dark mass of water, Louis’ fingers spread to the touch of a gentle wisp of cloud that brushed to his cheeks and filtered the breast of his coat. The vision was real as he suddenly broke to the quiet of the wide expanse of the ocean, the bustling city baying to the bottoms of his dress shoes that were slightly too big as the tie about his neck flicked over his shoulder from the keep of his jumper before a sudden pain sounded to Louis’ cheek. Knitting his eyebrows tightly, Louis swiped his shoulder to his cheek as he looked back to the playground that was drawing close again, the salty smell of the sea lingering to the back of his mind as his feet landed roughly to the wood chuckings and the wind stopped calling loudly to his ears an unfamiliar and beautiful sonnet.

“Louis, come on then!” The tall woman called from the shelter of the back door, her hand thrown out in effort of holding the door open to the many children rushing beneath as they squealed and giggled delightedly to the unexpected rain.

Frowning further, Louis turned his face slowly to the darkening sky that rumbled overhead, a split within the churning clouds seeming to motion to him as he thought of again lurching from his seat to sail straight to the heavens above, far from the shadow of the impending storm that screamed loudly to a fresh peal of lightning that seemed to shake the ground beneath its force. Turning up the collar of his coat, Louis leapt from his seat as he dashed to the warmth and shelter of the gentle woman who smiled and patted his bum kindly in welcome, her eyes cast to the quickly moving brew that fled the treetops and seemed to consume the tiny yard noisily.

To the warmth of the tiny room bustling with moving bodies and excited bubbles of laughter, Louis ran his small fingers to his now limp fringe that dribbled to his eyes, a small and lanky boy of the same stature and midnight stained hair gripping him about the neck as he crowed in excitement to Louis’ ear as their teacher, Mrs. _Austin_ , clapped her hands frantically for attention to the shutting of the classroom door loudly.

“That’s quite enough, it’s just a storm!”

“We should go home!”

“What if the power’s to go out?”

Mrs. Austin smiled warmly as she waved them off, looking fleetingly to the clock that signaled they were soon to leave anyways, Louis leaning to the other boy’s side as a warm pair of lips pressed to the shell of his ear.

“Are you set on coming over, then?” Louis looked sweetly to Zayn, his bright, hazel eyes lined by thick, black eyelashes stunning as he grinned toothily, tugging Louis tighter to his side as Louis shrugged.

“I’m not sure-”

“Oh, come on Lou! It’ll be fun!” Zayn encouraged, his small fingers tangling to Louis’ messed hair as he went about assisting it to sticking every which way.

“I’ll have to see if my mum needs help in watching Lottie.” Louis lied, his eyes placent and wide as Zayn rolled his eyes slightly, mirroring Louis in packing his own rucksack at Mrs. Austin’s constant calls of rushing them in a group to the waiting bus that was soon to take them home.

“We’ve stocked the cupboard of biscuits and crisps if Niall’s not got to them first.” Zayn persuaded, Louis smirking gently as he shrugged the shoulders of his rucksack up his arms to settle heavily to his shoulders, a tiny girl with long, brown hair sashaying past as she audibly stamped her foot to Louis’ blatant disregard in openly ignoring her.

Zayn walked tightly to Louis’ side as Louis again fell to his own thoughts, the liberation of flying still coursing through his veins as he followed blindly to the throngs of tiny feet weaving from different classrooms, two roughly worn and scuffed pairs of dress shoes joining to his and Zayn’s as Louis smiled to his mates.

“I told you, Niall!”

“You didn’t have to rub it in!” Niall muttered, his chubby cheeks splotched red as Zayn instantly wrapped about Liam’s middle and cuddled his face to Liam’s hair in satisfaction.

In breaking through the front doors of the primary, Louis breathed in the scent of the rain as he clutched tightly to Niall’s sleeve, all boys ushering to the wake of other children as they filed to the large, dark busses sat idling at the curb as Mrs. Austin smiled sweetly to the group passing, Louis raising a hand in farewell as she smiled further and touched the base of her throat lightly. Throwing a fleeting glance to the sky rippling and grumbling lowly overhead as the raindrops began to thicken in size and speed before crashing to the pavement below, Louis was soon immersed to the warmth of the heater as he passed the slight staircase to shuffle down the narrow walkway to a cluster of seats round the middle.

Waiting as Niall slung himself to an entire seat of his own, Louis took the seat before him as he watched with an amused expression to Liam and Zayn cramming into one seat together, heads bowed as they chatted excitedly about their day and the coming fun there was to be to the night’s events. Sighing lowly to himself, Louis slung his rucksack beside himself as he slowly looked beyond the bus’ rain streaked window, Niall’s sudden shout of happiness startling everyone on board as a stalky, short boy thundered up the aisle and nearly threw himself to the seat behind Niall’s.

Without turning or feigning interest, Louis watched Niall’s reflection in the window turn to Josh as they began giggling hysterically to something Josh pulled from his bag, the driver motioning quickly to the teachers waiting about in the rain beneath shade of fetched umbrellas as a _certain_ teacher strained through the window to watch Louis quietly lay his temple to the cold glass as he gave to the lurch of the bus pulling away.

It wasn’t that Louis didn’t love his mates, because he absolutely did. It was just the fact that they’d found one another first, they’d made these inseparable bonds that he couldn’t even begin to fathom and while they loved and cherished him just as much as the other, Louis knew he would never delve to the levels with which their bonds brought them together. Louis simply longed to have someone that he would be excited to ride home with, and to tell his fantasies of flying away and never looking back to the rain drenched village that was nearly swallowed by the foliage, far beneath his fading and soaring feet. It was complicated to be so torn up at such a young age, and Louis could feel himself slipping from the childhood that he so vainly sought to keep closely to his head, yet didn’t want to bother the others with in knowing how they would react to his dreams of fantasy and make believe.

It was simply _childish_ , and that was what rendered him quiet as Louis watched the droplets of rain race the glass to the sudden stopping and acceleration of the bus as children were seen racing to the shelter of their parent’s waiting arms.

Smiling privately to the notion, Louis thought of the people below his feet as he’d flew, their tiny faces and hands waving and smiling after him in awe as he’d taken shape to a mere bird with wings, a creature of the sky that had no set limitations or home, yet simply rode the wind to where ever his heart desired.

“Louis?” Snapping from his thoughts, Louis smiled to Liam as Zayn peeked around Liam’s careful gaze. “You coming ‘round, then?”

“I might, yeah.” Louis answered quietly, Zayn again rolling his eyes as he fixed Louis to a particular look as Niall began laughing obnoxiously from behind them, a tiny snort ripping from between Josh’s lips.

“You should just come, Louis! There’s that old river back behind my house where we found that disgusting toad that one time-”

“There’s snacks.” Liam butt in, Niall instantly cutting short as he threw himself to the back of Louis’ seat in acute attention, Zayn cackling lowly as Louis smirked.

“I’ve got maths homework, as does Zayn-”

“Stuff that!” Zayn snapped, crossing his arms tightly before his chest as the bus began slowing beneath them. “You’re going to come have a normal time then go home to do your maths and your coloring!”

Louis’ face soured to Zayn’s jab of his abstract doodling as the bus quietly rolled to a stop before a tiny ding was issued throughout the lengthy and quiet cabin, Louis’ head poking over his seat as the bus driver eyed them all from the mirror above his head. Rising slowly, Louis bit to the inner of his cheek as he shrugged into his rucksack, the thought of another adventure of trampling through the woods with the boys somehow not appealing to him in anyway as he thought of his fingers sinking to the cool silt of the river bed to unearth the large toads that sat all day in wait of not being found.

Dragging his feet, Louis smiled quietly to the bus driver as he nodded them pass, Louis’ shoulders hunching up to his ears with the icy touch of the wind as Niall chased after Josh with his rucksack in hand as he swung wildly to a joke Josh had passed about him that Niall hadn’t found funny, Zayn’s arm twisted about Liam’s as Liam shielded his eyes from the quiet drizzle that had calmed from the previous downpour. Looking to the shaded road before them, Louis’ feet set him to step down the trail of grass that hadn’t yet been trampled by the light travel of the residents that lived to the private, and somewhat hidden neighborhood set within the trees that whistled and buckled quietly to the weight of the rain that seemed to never ease.

Holding his arms away from his sides, Louis was soon forgetting the subtle crunch of the boys to the gravel and rock of the road behind him as the toes of his shoes found the soft, damp grass moving to what could’ve been a rope stretched tightly from one side of a canyon to the other, a long pole held between Louis’ hands as he looked quickly to the other side that seemed still so far away. Gathering a deep breath, Louis willed the wind stay calm as he touched heel to toe carefully, glancing quietly over his shoulder to the boys that shoved and laughed with one another to the further side of the canyon that fell further and further away.

At the mention of his name, Louis’ eyes lost the moving of the ocean beneath him as the scene and the sun fell away from his mind and his neck, his hands dropping dejectedly to his sides as a fleeting pass of a blur of color to the thick of the brambles to the left of the road caught his sight if only for a passing second, before Niall was there leaping to his back.

“What do you say, Lou!” Niall’s arm constricted Louis’ neck as Louis bent over and slid Niall from his back, punching him softly to the stomach as Josh rushed them both and tackled them to the road, Zayn and Liam laughing loudly as a slight shuffle again to his left caught Louis’ attention before Josh was pulling him from the muck that littered the back of his coat.

“Don’t bother him, Niall, if he doesn’t want to!” Liam scolded as he handed Louis his fallen rucksack with a small eye roll, brushing the rocks away, Zayn kicking Niall to the bum as Niall began racing Josh for the street to theirs and Zayn’s houses.

“No, I’ll come!” Louis waved off as he looked to the quiet street again before him as he thought quietly. “I just want to go home and change first?”

“So what, you’re to keep your good shoes clean?” Zayn teased, Louis shrugging offhandedly as Zayn frowned seriously. “You’re such a _mam_ sometimes, Lou.”

“You’re not.” Liam reassured, looking to the street that berthed quickly to their right as Niall and Josh were seen rounding the corner past Josh’s house and on to Zayn’s in waiting welcome.

“I’ll be round.” Louis stated again, Liam nodding tightly as Zayn quirked an eyebrow, his lips pressed together as he too looked to the desolate and spooky road Louis was willing to face alone.

“You’re not even going to cut through the back garden? It’d be faster.” Zayn prodded, Louis shaking his head as he gripped the straps of his pack tightly.

“I’ll come that way, if it’s faster.” Zayn and Liam nodded as they turned for the street, Louis standing quietly for a second as he watched them slowly file away from him before he looked again to the road before him.

It was somehow peaceful and haunting at the same time, his feet finding the grass of the middle of the lane as he again found himself miles above a racing ocean spitting loudly beneath, his hands rising from his sides as he fought to balance himself and take the initiative toward the other side. It was only a few moments and a careful step from the street’s entrance that Louis was nearly leaping from his skin, a loud crash issuing from the thicket to his left as the scene before him fell away to reveal he was truly alone in the wide quiet.

Gripping the throat of his jumper and the knot of his tie, Louis’ knees tucked together as he stood quietly in listen, a faint crack of a branch nearly causing him to piss himself as he wilted away, his eyes wide with caution and fright as he stood to his tiptoes in search of whatever was _living_.

“Hello?” Louis called weakly, his eyes moving in a panic as he felt tears prick the backs of his eyelids, his heart thundering in his throat as he swallowed the bile that rose sickly.

He’d been so stupid to not just go with the rest of the boys, the mist of the rain overhead gently filtering to the thick foliage overhead as it settled calmly to his cheeks and mussed fringe. Louis had only experienced what he’d thought was the feeling of being watched a couple times before, but never had the _watcher_ made _noise_. Waiting in anticipation and clasped fingers, Louis was frozen in shock and fright as his mouth again opened when there was another loud snap and crack of branches laid to the ground beyond that he was unable to see through.

“Oh my God,” Louis breathed, willing his feet move as he began shuffling sideways toward the street he knew was further ahead, the thought of the crazed lunatic that was sure to leap out and snatch him at any moment overwhelming his mind, his teeth bared and sharp as his long and spindly, nasty fingers ripped for Louis’ rucksack and jumper. “I’m going to die-”

“Ouch!” A tiny voice proclaimed quickly and so softly Louis nearly didn’t hear it at all, yet still caused him to scream in surprise as Louis backed away, his eyebrows gathering tightly to his forehead, as there was another shifting of dried leaves and twigs.

“Hello?” Louis called again, his fingers wringing to the front of his jumper as he took a step forward, goose bumps crawling to his skin at the heavy silence that followed. “Is anyone there? Are you hurt?”

Louis took a hesitant step forward as he bit his bottom lip, his heart settling slightly as his eyes traced the shadows that all seemed to move within the mess of trees lacing throughout the wood. As his feet found place slowly and cautiously before one another, Louis raised a hand timidly to a brush of weeds and brambles tangled and mossy from the onset of constant rain. Making to push the obstruction from his view, Louis frowned to what seemed a huddled bunch only a few feet away, his mouth opening slowly to call out to what looked to be a _boy_ before there was a sharp sting to his finger, a wild shout of pain falling from his lips as Louis wrenched back to the road, hand held before his face as he nearly tripped to the long grass curled about his ankles.

Gnashing his teeth in pain and confusion, Louis looked quickly back to the sharp lilac of the thistle that sat as a splash of color among the muted contrast before looking over his finger, the thorn poking dejectedly from his skin as Louis hopped about his feet to pulling it from its hold with his teeth, a tiny prick of blood forming as Louis popped his finger to his mouth and looked again to where he could’ve sworn he’d seen _something_. Glancing quickly up the road toward his street and back to the wood, Louis ran his tongue over the infliction as he turned and quietly rushed for solace and proper fitting shoes, a tiny _hand_ reaching unseen from the mess of branches as little fingers crawled the stalk of the dangerous temptress. Pressing a finger to a thorn lightly, the hand shied from the tiny blister of pain that registered as the figure watched Louis round to his street without a second look back, a tiny tinge of green blinking from within their hiding place as they flicked to the attention of the snapping on and off of a far porch light in the distance, along to the faint call of a _name_.

 

⊱⊰


	3. A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“A day spent without sight or sound of beauty, the contemplation of mystery, or the search of truth or perfection, is a poverty-stricken day. Such succession of days is simply fatal to human life for every human creature is constituted to be within every profound secret and mystery to the other.”

  
  


[On My Way To The Moon](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNSHOiABiF8)

  
  


The weekend had passed slowly and Louis was still nursing his finger tenderly, the swollen and pink skin still pressed between his lips as he stared dejectedly out the window from his seat through the maths lesson that was lost to deaf ears. It was nearly time to go home again, and Louis felt himself grow nervous and anxious as he shifted uncomfortably within his seat, his teeth scraping against the skin as he flinched and wrenched his finger before his eyes, tracing the grooves and ripples of his fingerprint. Louis had tried to get away from it, but the thought of someone watching him walk home was unsettling and made his skin crawl! How long had they been watching him and what did they want with him? What was so interesting about simply having a walk home and why didn’t they speak?

Torn from his thoughts to a crumpled paper flying to the center of his workbook, Louis looked to Zayn and Josh as they pulled crude faces and motioned that Louis pay attention to the drawing of the prickled man that stood before them in pleated slacks and a bristly mustache. Louis’ lips quirked gently as he turned again to the window, his hand coming up to cup his cheek up he managed to worm his finger back to his tongue, his eyes tracing the dark clouds that moved and parted the dreary rays of sun that begged to peek through and grace the pavement, if only for a moment.

There was constantly the possibility that it was someone truly disgusting and nasty that meant to do him harm, but what if it wasn’t? What if it was merely another soul looking for a path that seemed to be caught up in their own head in yearning of adventure and freedom from the constant hang of clouds and withering darkness that seemed to never leave? Doodling idly to the margin of his page, Louis began to horribly sketch the thistle, an odd sort of flower that promised beauty and solace, yet became dangerous and sharp as you reached to touch it in bad faith.

“-It’s to be done by tomorrow’s class!” The old gentlemen shouted over the scraping of chairs to the shined floors as tiny bodies huddled beneath their rucksacks and fled for the door, Zayn clambering to top of Louis’ desktop as Louis touched his cheek with a light laugh.

“Louis, please move a bit faster!” Zayn whined, Louis fighting his workbook from beneath Zayn’s weight, Josh promptly beginning to tug to Zayn’s ankles as Louis began packing away his things, the rush of a body to the window beside him sending a thrill up his spine as the sun gently graced his cheeks. “Come on, then!”

“Alright!” Louis snapped, shrugging beneath his pack as their maths teacher stood by the door to salute them past, Louis, Zayn and Josh distributing their things to their starting classroom of the day before racing one another to the door stood open to the end of the brightly lit and animatedly colored hallway, fluttering pieces of construction paper and wild chains of tissue and beads hanging above them from the tiles of the ceiling before they were stood to the lawns that seemed to stretch as if miles before them.

“It took you long enough!” A voice called angrily, Zayn, Josh and Louis all turning for Niall and Liam as they sauntered over, Zayn’s arm instantly threading about Liam’s neck as they giggled wildly, Louis looking quickly to the swings with sudden deflation at the realization that they were all full.

“What’s on the agenda today, boys?” Josh questioned mischievously, Zayn’s eyebrows instantly quirking as Liam began shaking his head violently.

“Absolutely not!”

“Oh, come off of it Liam!” Niall barked, looking to the huddle of few teachers as they sat to a bench and chairs off set beneath a canopy to enjoy what little warmth came from the sun’s wink far above them.

Liam let out a loud breath of disbelief as Zayn took off in chase of Niall and Josh, Louis patting him gently to the lower back as Liam’s mouth gaped widely.

“You can’t be serious in going along with this!” Louis simply shrugged as he smiled slightly, ushering Liam along as he cast a glance over his shoulder to the adults completely immersed in their own world of bills and worries.

“What’s there to be scared of?”

“Getting kicked out could be a good one.” Liam grumbled, Louis shaking his head as he simply laced their arms together, their tiny dress shoes squishing through the wet grass and mud as Zayn loosened his tie from about his neck before them, Niall shedding his jumper completely as Louis and the other boys crowed to his unkept and untucked button up beneath showing sloppily.

Breathing in the fresh air of the day, Louis watched his feet carefully as his stubbier legs fought to keep pace with the others, his finger still prickling lightly in pain as he grabbed for branches and banks to keep himself from falling and getting any muddier than he already was.

“You absolute ninny!” The loud shriek quickly brought Louis from his thoughts of trekking through the muck and filth of a swamp in South America as he searched for a cave of hidden treasures, his eyes locking to Josh as he swiped the mud from his pants to sling to the front of Niall’s shirt, Liam and Zayn swerving from the dangerous path as Louis looked ahead to what he knew was soon to crest and again take his breath away, as it always did.

To back of their primary, through a short cropping of trees and a quietly trickling stream that Niall was currently tripping through, there was a small hill that overlooked the further village laid below. Breaking to the crest, Louis breathed deeply to the warmth that encased his cheeks and his fingers as he immediately sat to the middle of the blustering wind that shook past him once before ceasing movement. Laughing loudly to Niall and Josh tumbling to his side before rolling down the small hill to the thinned, crescent clearing beneath that halted to the edge of yet more trees and undergrowth, Louis curled to Zayn sitting tightly to his side, Liam laying before them on his back as his tiny brown quiff danced calmly to the breeze that ruffled with an icy edge that always held threat of the rain that was sure to visit again.

Turning his face to the sky that still churned darkly overhead, Louis looked to the patches of sun littering the village below, little rays hitting rooftops and streets that fled of light and warmth as everyone below seemed to flock to the unseen sight that had evaded them of so long.

“I wish we lived somewhere it was sunny all the time.” Liam proposed quietly, Louis and Zayn nodding quietly as Louis smiled gently.

“We could live in Italy.”

“’S warm there as well.” Zayn agreed quietly as he bucked his shoulder to Louis’, his feet stretched across Liam’s lap as Liam sat back to his hands in allowing his fingers tangle to the grass still wet behind him.

“We should just take a train there!” Louis frowned quickly to Liam as Zayn fell into a fit of laughter, Niall and Josh racing one another back to the top of the hill as they made to pass one another up, a yank of Niall’s trousers to his ankles rendering Josh the winner.

“You’d have to fly first, mate!” Louis scolded as Liam shrugged, his eyes lightening.

“Imagine if there was a train that could run on top of water!” Zayn sighed dreamily as he lay his head to Louis’ lap, Louis’ thoughts instantly flying away as well as he thought of their tiny village fleeing beneath his feet as his arms stretched to his sides, the wind whistling past his ears as Italy played to the front of his mind.

“You’re sucha knob!” Niall pouted as he and Josh sat to the rest of the group, his hands roughly shoving Josh over to his side as Josh cackled delightedly, Louis laying quietly to his back as he again thought of the violent lilac of the thistle amid the muted gray of the wood that had quietly watched him pass.

There was still a prickle to his skin every time Louis thought about it, yet a small curiosity couldn’t be kept away as Louis wondered what it would be like had he gone further into the brush to find out who or what was with him. As his eyes visibly widened to the closing of the gap of light overhead, Louis jumped to the lowly growl of far off thunder, as he knew what he would _have_ to do. It was completely unethical and stupid, but what was to keep him from going in and finding out? For all he knew, it could’ve been an animal, or a lowly laying branch that had fallen beneath the weight of the day’s rain!

Brushing lightly through Zayn’s hair messily lay to his stomach, Louis was ignorant to the other boy’s constant taunts to one another as they crowed and loudly kicked to one another as Liam managed to sneak away Niall’s balled up jumper and pitch it to the bottom of the hill. The anticipation rammed to his chest as Louis rocketed forward to sit, Zayn fixing him to a nasty look as his head was nearly pitched to the grass, Louis’ lips parting in thought of mentioning his impending adventure when Liam’s words halted him.

“-But Louis and I have got footie practice tonight, we can’t!” Louis’ face visibly crossed as Josh and Zayn groaned, Niall shouting inaudibly from the bottom of the hill as he shook his jumper out and slipped it back over his head.

“Can’t you come over after?” Zayn pleaded, Liam shaking his head quickly as he bopped Zayn to the forehead.

“You live right behind me, mate!”

“Even more reason for you to simply walk over!” Zayn demanded, Liam sighing loudly as Niall flew to Josh’s chest as the two began tumbling about in loud shouts of aggression and calls of enthusiasm and delight.

“It’s like I don’t even live at my house, anymore.” Liam grumbled, Zayn looking expectantly to Louis as Louis quirked an eyebrow quickly.

“I _don’t_ live right behind you.”

“But you live just down from Liam, there’s no reason for you to not come along!” Louis shook his head as all boys looked quickly to Niall who shouted loudly in pain to Josh’s teeth biting to his leg through his trousers.

“My mum works tonight, and she’s not letting go of that obnoxious babysitter.” Louis inwardly grew further annoyed as he thought of her, her long, stringy gray and blonde hair swishing about her shoulders as she insisted she fix up Louis and his 2-year-old sister, Lottie.

“Oh, right.” Zayn’s face scrunched as Liam looked in panic to the tiny watch about his wrist, his feet instantly shooting him tall above the others as a flush crept to his cheeks.

“We’re going to be late!”

“We’ll be fine!” Josh promised loudly as he patted Niall to the back, his attempt of drawing away Niall’s pouted look passing in vain as Niall crossed his arms to his chest, shaking the fallen hair from his eyes.

“We’ll be expelled!”

“They can’t expel you from primary.” Louis reassured as Liam grew further panicked, Zayn sighing as he stood and helped Louis along to his feet, his hand reaching to Liam’s arm in comfort as Liam quickly threaded their fingers together tightly, a heavy blush creeping up Zayn’s neck as his face visibly softened.

“Can we just go?”

“I agree.” Niall snipped as he shoved past Josh, Josh muttering loudly as he clung to Niall’s side in uttered apologies, Louis, Liam and Zayn following quietly behind as Louis again fell to the back of the procession.

Taking in the gentle grace of Josh’s lips to Niall’s ear and Zayn’s still blushing cheeks while watching his and Liam’s hands clasp tightly to one another, Louis couldn’t help but feel his heart sink to the pits of his shoes. Perhaps he was simply and miserably alone, or perhaps it was the gentle trickle of the rain that drizzled quietly from overhead followed to the loud moan of thunder from the far off distance, but Louis felt sick. There was a tiny hole, not quite large yet big enough he felt it, just beneath his left breast that housed his heart. It wasn’t significant, and it never bled, yet in times like these when there was a certain loneliness that encased his mind and left the palms of his hands prickly and cold, the hole ached.

It stretched and clawed and enveloped his mind as Louis’ eyes sank a little and his inner light faded, his hand rising before him as he looked between his empty fingers, the spaces on either side of him void of life as he simply longed to find someone that would understand his overly active imagination, the vision of trolls and pixies filtering along through the woods and tree branches overhead as they fixed their beady and greedy eyes to his own as Louis sighed lowly in disappointment of himself. It was such a childish thing to think of such things that he knew would never come true, but he couldn’t help it. It was as if Louis could come to be part of an amazing adventure within his head, but never seemed to be able to finish it fully, a sense of longing always clinging to the edges of the hole within his ribs as he timidly rose a hand to hold himself together as the tiny creatures fled to the break of the primary’s lawn before his shoes.

Running to catch up to the others, Louis was last to be touched kindly to the back of his lightly wetted jumper as Mrs. Austin frowned after them gently, her instincts never wrong as she’d _known_ where they’d been. Following the boys still buzzing and clasping to one another in excitement before breaking to their respective rooms, the teacher was nearly about to call Louis, Zayn and Josh back to the hallway when she caught sight of Louis clutching to his ribs quietly, his face pinched as his eyebrows drew thickly over his forehead, a tiny crinkle over the bridge of his nose rendering him so much older than his years as she caught herself and simply smiled to the children packing their rucksacks for the day and fleeing to the busses waiting at the front curb.

Watching Louis’ tiny, wild head of hair pass her by as he clung to Zayn and Josh’s flanks, Mrs. Austin followed aimlessly in reassurance that all her students make their ways safely home, Louis offering her a tiny smile as she raised a hand in a sad farewell to the confliction of his look. Once again to a seat by himself surrounded by others and his best mates, Louis watched the rain slick his window as the bus was slowly filled with chattering and smiling bodies that unknowingly passed him by, the pavement dark and damp to the churning overhead. Raising a hand again to the hole gnawing at his ribs, Louis breathed quietly to the bus pulling away, never once looking to the kind woman who searched for his dejected stance to the smoke of the tailpipe of the moving vehicle.

  
  


Moving the slick of his fringe back from his face, Louis’ eyes traveled the long expanse of pitch before him as his foot swung to the ball toeing the front of his cleat, his football kit absolutely drenched to the downpour that was dribbling miserably from the blackened clouds that illuminated every so often to a fresh peel of lightning and the coming of the dwindling twilight kissing the horizon. Practice had ended nearly a half hour ago, and yet Louis was still there kicking the ball dejectedly as he watched the front drive for sign of coming headlights. Swinging softly for the ball, Louis watched it roll to the grass before turning his face to the mist that harbored no mercy in the open air or shade of the further trees.

Louis knew he was going to have to walk home, and while it was exactly what he’d wanted in possibly finding out who or what had been watching and following him from the bus, Louis hadn’t meant he’d wanted to do it so close to dark! Knotting his fingers together, Louis sighed lowly to himself as he ached of the cold, the ball gently being moved between his feet as he made quietly toward his athletic bag that wasn’t meant to be taken from the lockers, yet Louis hadn’t thought to mind. Unable to fully comprehend that he’d been left and forgotten to stand and wait in the rain, Louis tucked the ball beneath his arm as he hiked the bag to his shoulder, his bottom lip gathered painfully between his teeth as he bit away the tiny sob that ripped through his chest to the overwhelming sadness and anger that filtered his mind foggy.

He hadn’t thought to tell Liam’s mum to wait and give him a ride, because it was his _own_ mum that was supposed to be there to claim him. Walking quietly for the bus stop with his head bowed and fringe slicked to his cheeks and neck, Louis couldn’t help but pity his mum. She was a hard working woman who merely wanted to provide for her family, and her job at the hospital wasn’t easy. Louis could always hear her having to rush away in the middle of the night to this obnoxious ring of her pager as she held her sides to aid the pain of her back and swollen feet. Louis’ stepdad was also meant to be his backup in retrieving him when he was supposed to notice Louis wasn’t home yet, but Louis didn’t _think_ of him much.

Fixing his feet to the curb, Louis squinted in the halting light as the sun fought to shed light to Louis’ path one last time, his toes poking over the storm gutter as he made out bodies milling beneath umbrellas and rushing to shops to come in from the rain, cars and trucks passing him by as they smiled to the sweet, young boy who merely looked like he was set for a fun time away to a friend’s house or an upcoming competition; no one actually knew.

Checking up and down the street, Louis dropped his things to his side as he squatted and held his knees tightly to his chest, his cheek resting to his knee cap as he sniffled to the few tears trickling down the tip of his nose, his socks incredibly itchy to his calves as they grew further damp to the spit of a car’s tires issuing water to nearly drown him from his cleats. In his mind, Louis was laid to a warm beach, his kit and socks long abandoned as he smiled to the sun that so rarely showed anymore in this dreary valley that he so desperately wished to spread wings of and fly from. Louis knew it was childish to live through his imagination, and with turning nine in a few short months, how was Louis supposed to explain that all his main fun came from the stories and illusions he made in his head? Big kids didn’t do that anymore, and Louis was going to be the oldest of all his mates, nonetheless!

Gazing wearily to the upcoming rumble of the bus, Louis stood and gathered his things tightly to his chest as the doors swung open warmly as an embrace, a familiar man smiling to him calmly as he took in Louis’ red rimmed eyes and soaking clothes, deciding that for that moment he wouldn’t make Louis pay as the bus driver watched the boy pat his pockets frantically.

“Jus have a seat, yeah? I’ll get ya home.”

“I thought I had money!” Louis scrambled, his eyebrows crinkling to his forehead as he felt the tears well to his eyes as the bus driver smiled kindly, the door shutting behind Louis still stood on the steps as he nodded his head to the only empty seat just behind his own.

“Jus have a seat, lad.”

Louis smiled gratefully as he sniffed and hugged his things tighter to his chest, weaving to the seat indicated as many on the bus looked to him in pity and kindness as Louis shivered and struggled the hair from his face, his little cheeks swollen and flush. Trying not to stare or openly gawk, Louis couldn’t help but notice the quiet, drawn faces to the people sitting around him, unable to comprehend that anyone would ride the familiar bus than the children that rode with him everyday to and from primary. Shaking away the confusion, Louis turned quietly to the window as the wheels hummed lowly to the roads through the quieting village that seemed to bleed beneath the paling call of the sun that managed her head from a far, distant cry of the horizon miles away as Louis and the others in the crowded and dark bus still sat beneath cloud cover and rain.

Louis was baffled and quite unable to comprehend that every person on the bus had a story just as his own, a desire to find a new place in the world, to _escape_. While Louis was being dropped off to find his way home again, the people sitting around him were fleeing their homes, running to the city for a night’s out romp or a job that called them away from the simple life that held no excitement within the draw of the quiet hills and trees.

“You’re to waste no time in getting off, and I’ll expect you straight home.” The bus driver gruffed lowly, Louis’ head snapping to attention as his eyes met to the bus driver’s in the long mirror above his seat as his eyebrows raised. “These people have places t’be in the city and they’ll not take kindly to being late.”

Louis nodded quickly as he hugged his bag tighter to his chest, the ball balanced just beneath his armpit as he watched the mouth of his road open quickly and darkly before the rain splattered windshield, his feet already moving ahead of himself as he stood immediately to the cease of the wheels and the throw of the gearshift.

“Thank you-”

“Straight home, boy!” The bus driver instructed, Louis nodding quickly back as the bus driver simply opened the door and jabbed his thumb to the road that seemed ominous in the red cast of the sun.

Allowing his feet touch to the soggy gravel and rock, Louis didn’t even spare time to toss a look about his shoulder to the many sad eyes that watched him cautiously creep forward, their thoughts muddled in sympathy for the tiny, quivering figure that had only wished his mother had been there to claim him after a ruddy footie practice. Wetting his lips, Louis set his feet to the grass lane running the middle of the road as he longed the vision of the canyon and the gurgling sea return to his mind, his bag settling heavily to his back as Louis claimed the ball back beneath his arm to slowly take to the rope swinging gently in the wind.

Unable to believe how far up from the ground he was, Louis felt his excitement build as he faintly took notice to Zayn, Josh and Niall’s street passing him by as if a vision melted to the clouds of the expansive horizon, an excited holler falling from his lips when a loud scream shattered his thoughts and sent his blood running cold. Everything fell apart; the rope was twisted and mangled as the further cliff began crumbling and falling to the water below, the clouds melding and hissing into trees and gloomy weather as Louis tripped to his cleats, his hands rushing to protect his face from the ground as his injured finger smashed to a large rock that sent a blinding pain racing up his arm to settle hotly behind his eyes.

Another shout and rush of feet sounded to the thick of trees to his left as Louis’ eyes grew wide, his heart racing and tangling in his throat as several branches cracked and gave beneath the pounding of _thousands_ of tiny feet. Eyes wide with shock, Louis didn’t seem to think himself through as he pushed himself to his feet and rushed to the thicket, his hands pushing branches and twigs from his way as the faint light of the lowering sun lead him through the bushel and mess of blurred confusion that seemed to continuously shift and melt into different images of monsters that ripped to his kit and hair. Following the loud shouts and snapping of branches and crunching of dead leaves, Louis’ breath sounded entirely too loud to his own ears as his hands fled before him to grip to the slimy bark of a tree that housed him in shadow, eyes widening to the sight he hadn’t _intended_ to find, because that was the first time he _saw_ him.

Twirling to a large clearing with a wide, thick stick to his little palms was a boy who looked to be younger than himself, his wild mess of curls and cocky stance causing Louis to frown as he looked about for the others that had to be with him, Louis recalling the sound of the stampede he’d been _sure_ he’d heard! Peeking around the tree further, Louis’ lips parted in honest curiosity as the boy began plunging the stick before himself, his body growing rigid before he was swinging again to twirl madly in a circle before swiping the stick loudly to a tree.

Confused, Louis frowned further to the strange sight, a foot gingerly making to step forward for a better look before everything grew eerily still to the loud snap and crack of the weight of the hidden twig beneath his cleat. It seemed as though the air was sucked from the wood in that moment, the tiny boy instantly raising the stick above his head as he turned, the sun falling to his back as his face fell in shadow, Louis instantly falling back in hopes that he wasn’t to be seen.

“Hello?” A small voice called as timid feet stepped closer, Louis’ teeth biting further to his lips as he stopped himself from breathing, the small boy seeming to frown to the fear that swallowed him from the feet up. “I thought I told you to stay away! You’re not-”

Louis was nearly about to fess himself up when he grew first confused by the accusation, because he’d never even seen the boy before, yet grew further worried as the tiny voice took to a monstrous coughing that seemed to rattle his entire body. Wiggling his foot in fear, Louis decided maybe being seen wasn’t such a bad thing as he peeked from his place only to find the small body caved in on itself, the boy leaned over his knees as he fought to find his breath as he began to wheeze.

Frantic, Louis’ fingernails dug to the bark of the tree as he dropped his ball in preparation to rush forward when the tiny body grew silent, Louis’ eye drawn to a continuous flickering above their heads before the body stood in shadow before him, little feet slowly carrying him forward. The porch light seemed to tap out code as the boy began blundering forward, his hand clasped to his chest as his stick _sword_ was left far behind to the leaves crunching to the give of his disappearing weight, a gentle and pitiful wheeze leaving his lips as Louis frowned after him, his eyes traveling to the stick again before the boy was walking slower to his step, a final turn to Louis’ hiding place falling empty as the boy turned again for the stairs that lead and twisted to his solitude.

  
  


Louis’ lungs were on fire as his hand finally grasped to the knob of the front door of his house, the key hidden from under the welcome mat clutched coolly between his fingers as he wrenched it to the tumbler and nearly fell to the warmth and giving light within.

“Who is’tha?” A loud voice called wildly as Louis quickly kicked the door shut behind himself before turning both lock and deadbolt into place, the creeping and spindly fingers of the night retracting back from his cleats as the creatures lurking to the shadows seemed to hiss to the missing of the latest victim. “Louis!”

Dropping his bag to his side, Louis flopped to his back within the entrance hall as a tall and skinny, blonde haired girl fully rounded the corner from the kitchen, her nose crinkling to Louis’ muddy footprints painted to the freshly washed wood floors. Releasing the pent up breath of his chest, Louis closed his eyes quickly as he still felt the stick of the branches to his legs as he’d ran from the scene of the little boy stumbling up the stairs to a door that quickly opened for him, a hand yanking him inside as he’d gazed longingly over his shoulder to where he’d _known_ Louis had been.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? The floors are a right mess, now!” The girl snapped as she stood overtop of Louis, looking down at him as she brushed a few, spry strands of hair from her shoulder, Lottie held tightly to her hip as she chomped and gummed to a biscuit crumbling to her chubby fingers within the trails of spit hanging from her lips.

“I was _left_ at footie practice.” Louis sighed sadly, Lou Teasdale unable to bite back the laugh that ripped from her chest as Lottie began to kick and demanded she be sat down to the floor to tumble to Louis’ chest and tuck on his fringe.

“I came round to collect you after your mum called, but you were already gone!” Louis grumbled to Lottie’s sticky fingers moving across his cheeks as he shoved her off, Lou fixing her hair in the hallway mirror as a loud roar emitted from the street just beyond the front door.

Louis leaned his head back to Lou as she looked at him quietly, her face peeling back to a shit-eating grin as Louis began shaking his head quickly, propelling himself to his feet as he ripped back the sheer covering to the long, skinny window next to the door, the image of shadows dancing just to the edges of the streetlamps bleeding to the curbs and the middle of the street sending a shiver down his spine as Lottie toddled into the front room and Lou puffed her a chest a bit further.

“He’s not supposed to be here!” Louis warned as Lou immediately rolled her eyes, making coolly for the front door as she began undoing the locks.

“Don’t be such a baby, Louis, Jesus!”

“No, don’t!” Louis choked as his eyes grew to a slinking figure slithering across the road, its long claws and drawn fangs raking up the pavement as Lou ripped the door from her way, Louis turning just in time to see a long pair of firm arms wrap to her neck before Lou was squealing excitedly.

“Tom, my hair!”

“’S lovely!” Tom mocked as Louis looked frantically back out the window, the shadows playing to his mind as their beady and glowing eyes looked to the opened front door in hunger. “How’s the footie champion doing?”

Tom was still crowing loudly as he reached out to ruffled Louis’ hair, Louis shoving past as he moved Tom and Lou from in front of the door before ramming it back into place and doing the locks up quickly, Tom and Lou looking to one another quickly as Louis turned his back to the door with a great sigh of relief.

“The hell is going on?” Tom demanded as he leaned toward the window, a tattooed hand reaching from beneath the sleeve of his worn leather jacket as he looked to Louis with raised eyebrow.

“He’s just spooked about something.” Lou sighed as she placed a hand to Louis’ head and began pushing him toward the kitchen. “Your mum left you hash-”

“I don’t want her ruddy food!” Louis snapped as he snatched his bag from the floor and began stomping for his room, Tom and Lou looking to one another as Lottie came screaming from the front room to crash to Tom’s legs excitedly.

Kicking his cleats and socks off as he went, Louis was sure to drop his bag to a kitchen chair as he struggled to retrieve a bag of crisps from the cupboard, the loud shrill ring of the phone seeming to echo through the house as Tom’s loud, obnoxious calls of tossing Lottie about ceased to Lou’s high pitched tone that indicated that Louis’ mum was calling. Rolling his eyes Louis lingered, his hand greasy and plastered to the inner side of the crisp bag as he leaned a hip to the counter, _waiting_.

“-Of course! He’s right here!” Lou chirped as she rounded into the kitchen, her eyes wide as she pointed to Louis dangerously with a well painted black nail and a heavy ring that hid the tiny cross tattooed beneath.

Shaking his head violently, Lou rolled her eyes loudly as she ripped the crisp bag from Louis’ grasp before placing the phone to his ear, a dangerous gaze passing her eyes before she placed the receiver to her own mouth and breathed loudly in order to get Louis’ mum, Jay, talking again before she was rattling quickly to Louis’ ear as he gripped the phone in a deadly vice.

“Hello? Louis? Sweetheart, I’m so sorry! I thought Mark would be there to pick you up, but he picked up an extra shift as well! I’m just wrecked about the entire thing and-”

Louis quickly ended the call as Lou looked to him with wide eyes as she loosely grasped the phone from Louis’ hard shove back to her hands, her grip instantly flying from the bag of crisps as Louis tore them away and stomped for the bathroom to run a bath. His mum could be sorry all she wanted, but Louis _wasn’t_. How else would he have found out about the boy that rushed away to the calling of a porch light that rang ominously from a safe beacon Louis found incredibly mysterious and _beautiful_ in its solidarity and complexity of the situation?

He couldn’t be sorry.

  
  


⊱⊰


	4. B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“There is no chance or destiny that can circumvent, hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul; all know the true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet one's own _fate_. ”

 

 

[The Dawn And The Embrace](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2-boJGxryo)

  


Frowning further, Louis’ feet drug slowly to the wood chuckings beneath his feet as the swing moved in a drag beneath him, his eyes never wavering from the large, dark cloud that skirted the horizon further away as Niall and Zayn began punching to one another before rolling through the grass still wet from the storm that had subsided for only a few minutes to allow them fresh air.

“You alright then, Louis?” A voice questioned lowly as a tiny hand nudged to Louis’ thigh, Louis looking dreamily to Liam as he smiled offhandedly, wondering if he should talk to Liam about the boy he’d seen.

“I’m fine.” Louis skirted lightly, Liam nodding slightly as Josh frowned from around his other side before he kicked his legs in front of himself and rocketed into a forceful rhythm that shook the structure they were all sat to.

Louis didn’t know why he lied or why he was so afraid to just fess up about what he’d seen! He didn’t even know the boy! Yet, something within the pit of his stomach kept Louis from blathering about it to the other boys because he felt that there was a reason the tiny boy wasn’t amidst the others that were rushing about the lawns and equipment, chasing one another and laughing wildly as the few teachers stalked just inside the door, craning their necks out to watch the skies. Maybe it was because the boy had been so forceful, and yet so frail with his loud cough that Louis was afraid that mere talk of him was going to break him and send him fleeing back to his house in the doorway that sat just below the quickly blinking light.

The boy had haunted his dreams in the most peculiar of ways, Louis tossing endlessly to the feeling that something was perfectly off about the strange occurrence that had seemed to suddenly happen out of nowhere. It seemed for months, Louis had began to feel uneasy about walking the road home, yet found it easier with each day of passing that he wasn’t queasy in traveling alone to the sight of someone unknown possibly watching him over. If it been the little boy, Louis had decided he didn’t entirely mind that much, his curiosity simply getting the better of himself as he gathered his bottom lip between his teeth and sucked without thinking.

Kicking himself back, Louis let himself gently sway as Niall and Zayn barged past, their jumpers in a tangle as well as their hair, a teacher calling loudly that they not be so rough and stop trying to flick each other in the balls.

“Louis.” A voice demanded as Louis looked halfheartedly to the girl stood before him with her weight trained to one hip, her lips pulling back over her teeth to reveal one of the front missing as her eyes sparkled to the long waves of her brown hair.

“Hi, Eleanor.” Louis greeted softly as he tried everything to avoid her gaze that trained to him sternly.

“Louis, you’re not doing anything, come play with Danielle and I!” Eleanor giggled loudly as she turned to Danielle and another small, blonde girl as they huddled together in faked embarrassment. “I think Danielle fancies Liam a bit, anyways.”

“No thanks.” Louis cut as he tried to swing wide from Eleanor’s path, the tiny girl stranding directly to his way as her arms crossed tightly over her chest, her bottom lip rutting forward as a tear bit to the corner of her eye.

“And why not? You’re only swinging!”

“Maybe I like to swing!” Louis gawked in disbelief, Eleanor looking him over quickly before rolling her eyes and stomping back to her friends who smoothed her hair from her face and wiped the tears that streamed her cheeks warmly.

“Girls.” Liam muttered, Louis frowning after the group as they rushed inside angrily before looking to Liam with wide eyes.

“What’ve I done?”

“They’re just trouble!” Josh spoke up as he flew by overhead, his face turned to the sky as he zipped forward to nearly turn upside down, Louis watching in wonder as he contemplated as to whether Josh had thought of flying in the way that he had.

Gripping tightly to the chains of the swing as a body pressed to his back before shoving Louis toward the sky and running from beneath him, Louis tucked his ankles together as Zayn’s arms stayed raised above his head as Niall did the same to Liam who tumbled to Niall’s back clumsily to spread to the wood chuckings beneath.

Louis chuckled lowly as he allowed himself to swing slowly, watching as Zayn immediately rushed to Liam’s aid in standing him upright and brushing off his jumper, Niall staying planted to the grass as Josh leapt midair from his swing to roll to the grass beside him, both boys falling to a fit of hysterics as an angry teacher came yelling about the inappropriateness of doing such a dangerous thing.

Louis couldn’t deny he loved them all, and while he was the oldest he felt protected and guarded whenever they were around. They brought light and purpose, Niall and Josh being the exact mixture of playful, rowdy and obnoxious tits that truly loved and cared for one another in the deepest, and yet shallowest of ways that none by many truly saw. Smiling further, Louis turned his attention to Zayn and Liam as Zayn continued to fret over Liam; Louis’ smile completely overtaking his face as Liam blushed deeply to Zayn’s fingers fixing his hair and straightening his tie. While they possessed the innocence all young boys do, Liam and Zayn were different. They loved one another for the glow within that no one else dared to touch, for it was something so beautifully complicated that it drew Louis’ legs and hands stiff as Liam fought Zayn away who immediately came back to fussing over him.

Being the oldest and having to grow entirely before his time to the split of his parents only a few years before, Louis felt the gnaw of the hole in his side again tingle as a tinge of sadness crept to the back of his mind. What if he was left wandering the world alone, never to find someone that would shove him down to the grass or wipe the stains from his trousers?

Hanging his head, Louis fell quietly to his thoughts as the world seemed to blur and move quickly around him as a light mist fell sadly from the clouds weighted darkly about; the perfect vision of loneliness.

He was too young to feel so _old_.

  


Shrugging his rucksack up his shoulders again, Louis checked quickly over his shoulder to make sure that the other boys had moved along to Niall’s house for a new film that had come along in the post. Standing to the tree line, it was ominous in that moment, Louis wondering if it had actually been the tiny boy that had been watching him, or if he had merely stumbled upon a boy that had been playing innocently in the woods. The thought made Louis’ arms prickle beneath the sleeves of his coat as he envisioned an angry mum racing from the house after him with skillet in hand, screaming about Louis bothering her son.

Poking his chin further and gripping the straps of his rucksack cutting beneath his armpits, Louis’ shoe found its way to the soggy and messed undergrowth of the wood that seemed to loom eerily in the pale light of the sun creeping just to the edges of the single, dark cloud that haunted its face. Gathering a deep breath to his chest, Louis disappeared completely from the road as he was swallowed to the quiet of the hollow, the tiny birds above his head whistling gently to the newcomer as a few, small creatures scattered to the sudden movement in panic of the change that was _never_ supposed to happen. 

Confused to exactly where he was going, Louis looked around to the sudden dying of the wind overhead and a loud crack of a branch somewhere behind him, his head swiveling quickly as a fear leapt up his throat and threatened to strangle him and render his feet still.

“Hello?” Louis called quietly, his voice no more than a peep as he craned his head about, all the noise and hum of the wood seeming to fall deathly quiet as _another_ crouched in fear.

Strangling the straps within his clammy fingers, Louis began again picking his way forward, all of the trees and branches seeming to reach out and snag to his jumper and coat as he fought to regain memory of exactly where he’d seen the little boy the night before, a deep frown crossing his face as his breath seemed to leave and reenter his lips entirely too loud, immediately giving him away. Gulping, Louis focused to his feet pulling him forward, the measure of time seeming to fall away in that grove as twisting paths of light barely made it to the ground lay below as Louis passed a touch of warmth before he was stood to exactly the spot he’d disappeared from in a gust of wind the night before.

Leaning his hands tenderly to the exact tree, whose bark stubbed and pricked to his fingers in recognition, Louis peeped to the clearing that sat quiet and void of life, the raised, wooden structure of the back deck seeming to loom largely over the clearing as if a raised castle that looked on to Louis as the stranger that he was. Stepping forward cautiously, Louis’ fingers never left the soggy bark as his eyes quietly scanned the back of the beautifully built house, the tall, back wall riddled with windows that were tightly shut with shades drawn, the roof swooping down as a canopy that intermingled with the trees and the leaves that waved lazily to the gusty wind that threatened to bring with it a new rain atop its hill crest fortress. Licking his lips, Louis lastly looked to the light near the back door that sat as a hanging, wrought iron lantern; the glass stained a gentle and old yellow as the intricate designs crawled the panes of glass to shield the light within cold.

Glancing around the clearing about himself, Louis felt his face droop to the presence of the missing boy that he’d expected to be twirling innocently about, the chance of a proper look at his face causing his stomach to flutter in excitement before falling flatly to his feet. Allowing his fingers slip from the tree that seemed almost as an anchor, Louis cautiously took a step toward the clearing as a soft mewl caught his attention and nearly sent him wrenching from his shoes, his fingers clutching to the knot of his tie at the base of his throat as a long, lithe body slithered down the truck of a tree to land gracefully a few feet from him.

Crouching cautiously to the body that approached, Louis reached out a hand tentatively as the cat allowed him stroke her back, her wide, crystalline blue eyes fixated to his own as her white neck, chest and body moved gently to the breeze that ruffled about them, her ears twitching in attention to the darker hues of peppered black and gray, her whiskers instantly shooting forward as she and Louis looked in unison to a hesitant pair of feet drawing from behind a tree timidly.

Sucking in a quick breath, Louis’ hand fell slowly to the leaves as the cat instantly trotted from his reach, her long and bushy tail wrapping to the trouser leg of a cautious stance as Louis slowly stood, his eyes tracing the trousers muddied with wear and rolled about the dirtied, white sneakers, before glancing to the jumper slung to the slight and lean figure before he was transfixed to the face watching him with drawn eyebrows.

“Who _are_ you?” The boy demanded, looking Louis over as he shifted nervously, Louis’ breath catching loudly in his throat as he fell speechless.

The boy was obviously a tad younger than he was, but he held such dominance to his stance and a wide sense of curiosity to his flicking, green eyes that Louis was frozen. Watching dumbly as a small hand moved to the boy’s forehead to shove a messy, brown mop of curls back to stand straight up from the crown of his head, Louis felt himself blush quickly as the boy took a small step forward, frowning further. “What do you want?”

“I- uh, I’m-” Louis shook his head quickly as the cat sat gently to lick her paw while looking between the two that seemed to be measuring the other up in awe, Louis’ hand forcefully rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he unsteadily stepped forward, only to watch the other boy take a step back. “I’m- I’m sorry, I’m Louis?”

“You don’t know your name?” The other boy smarted as he quirked an eyebrow gently, Louis’ cheeks flushing further as he stammered.

“No? I mean, I’m Louis, I know my name-” Louis’ mouth seemed to hang open stupidly as the other boy frowned to him further, a sarcastic look passing briefly before it was completely wiped away, his chin tucked a bit higher as he smiled widely to expose two rows of perfectly white and prettily straight baby teeth.

“’M Harry.”

 _Harry_. Louis allowed the name to roll around his tongue as Harry looked him over quickly before walking calmly for the line of trees he’d come from, bending quickly to retrieve something loosely held to his hands before he was turned fully to Louis and nearly tripping over the cat that circled his feet protectively. Almost unable to tear his eyes from Harry’s that held him steady and calm, Louis looked in surprise to the football that flew toward his hands suddenly that he nearly didn’t catch.

“I think you left that?”

Turning the ball over in his hands, Louis nodded quietly as Harry seemed to sigh out of annoyance, Louis looking back to find Harry’s gaze stern as he openly looked Louis over.

“Why do you wear that everyday?” Touching a hand to his jumper and smoothing his fingers to the soft fibers before falling slowly to his pressed slacks, Louis’ eyes widened before he shrugged halfheartedly, his eyebrows drawn in confusion.

“It’s what we have to wear to primary.” Louis looked back to Harry as Harry’s face folded in confusion, Louis taking a step cautiously forward as Harry seemed to snap from whatever thought was passing his mind to look to Louis in warning. “Don’t you have to wear a uniform to your primary?”

“I don’t go to primary.” Harry announced proudly as he puffed his chest out a bit, Louis looking to him with wide eyes as he traced the full curve of Harry’s bottom lip and the somewhat long, skinny fingers that tangled to the front of his own jumper in drawn anticipation.

“But-”

“You were the one watching me!” Harry demanded suddenly, his accusation cutting Louis short from the questions that flooded his mind as he stammered over an intelligent response.

“ _You_ watch me!”

Harry couldn’t help but grin widely as he picked up the cat still twisting at his ankles, her tiny paws tucking to the crook of his arm as Harry settled her comfortably to his chest as he frowned to Louis tightly.

“For a while, actually.” Louis’ eyes nearly boggled from his head as Harry began to smirk cockily.

“Why?”

“Just wondering where you always come from, and I suppose now that you’ve told me, I don’t have to wonder anymore.” Harry shrugged simply as Louis hugged the football tighter to his chest, Harry’s lips quirking gently as a curl fell to his eye softly to the coming mist that began twisting to them through the cover of the trees overhead.

“All you had to do was ask, not lurk about in the trees.” Louis grumbled slowly, his own eyebrows mirroring Harry’s as they frowned to one another in uncertainty. “I would’ve answered your questions-”

“You daydream a lot.”

Louis was caught off guard as Harry smiled genuinely, a sweet serenity seeming to filter between the two of them as the breath that stitched to Louis’ chest tightly gave way, the hole that had seemed to drive him mad lately silently filtering to nothing more than a scratch to the skin; a faint reminder of a loneliness passed.

“I just-” Louis hesitated as he again found himself stood transfixed to Harry’s watchful gaze, his eyes rendering dark to the shadowing of the sun overhead as the cat slithered from his arms back to the leaves that crunched beneath her paws as Harry stepped slowly forward. “Are you feeling better then?”

“Feeling better.” Harry deadpanned as his face lit to amusement that Louis didn’t understand, his hands working his hair messily about his head once again as Louis shifted his weight slowly.

“Well yeah, I mean the other night you were coughing quite bad-”

“I just have a bit of a cold- why are you watching me in the first place? How did you even know where I was?” Harry snapped as the kindness left his face, Louis never flinching as he stood his ground.

“Because you’ve watched me before, and I wanted to make sure you weren’t a crazy roadman or something! And I heard you playing, by yourself? I think?”

Harry laughed loudly to Louis’ nervous stumbling as he tipped his head back and parted his lips, the tiny knot of his throat bobbing gently as Louis watched in stunned silence, his free hand gripping to the bottom of his jumper as he twisted his fingers to the knotting of his stomach, the butterflies racing about the inner of his ribs and tickling all the way down to his toes.

“You don’t have to make it seem like it’s bad to have an imagination.” Harry breezed as Louis watched the cat slowly paw toward him, her wide, dark pupils focused to him in thought as he squatted to reach a hand to her ready arch. “Her name is Ginger.”

“But she’s not a ginger?” Louis snorted as Harry smiled lightly, Louis looking to Harry as he nearly fell back to Harry squatting just before him, his hand also playing to the long and silky hair of the curve to Ginger’s spine.

“She just looks like a Ginger, yeah? I think it’s her eyes.” Harry shrugged offhandedly as he picked the cat up in his arms once again and turned almost as if on instinct to a sudden flickering of the light above the door that blazed quickly to life.

Louis’ face visibly dropped as Harry remained turned toward the light as he again frowned heavily, his fingers tangling to the fur of Ginger’s stomach as she looked to him in expectation and righteousness, as if to will Harry along like he knew he should’ve. Switching his weight, Louis and Harry both jumped to the rustling in the loud quiet as Harry turned to Louis with a drawn look to his face, his eyes flicking patiently between Louis’ as he marveled to the depth and brilliance of the blue that shone in such darkness.

What were they supposed to say? Neither was willing to say goodbye or admit that they longed for the other to stay, but wouldn’t that have read as a weakness? Squaring their shoulders to one another, Louis shrugged the straps of his rucksack tighter to his shoulders as Harry gripped Ginger protectively, his eyes tracing Louis’ face curiously as Louis’ lips parted to the overwhelming kick of his stomach in the warmth that seeped from his fingertips to prickle just beneath the surface of his skin.

Bowing his head from Harry’s private smile and the tiny crinkle of his nose, Louis nodded quickly before spinning on his heel to traipse back in the direction he’d come from, his feet pulling him slowly to place as he looked back to Harry who was still stood, watching him quietly in pleasant surprise.

“I am sorry to just barge in-”

“I’ll see you again, Louis.” Harry promised gently as he smiled widely, his teeth sparkling to the light that cast to his face from the break of clouds facing above their heads to kiss lightly to the tops of the trees, Louis’ breath tangling in his chest as the green of Harry’s eyes blundered haplessly across the clearing to trap him speechless as he nearly missed the tiny _scrape_ to Harry’s cheek.

Nodding, Louis ducked his head as he allowed the quiet and the trees consume him in quiet thought, his heart thundering loudly to his chest as his head swam to the vision of a sweet smile, mussed hair and a viridian brilliance that left him weak to the knees. Harry was beautiful in a way that was different from how Louis thought his mum looked sometimes, or the tiny girls in primary that fought to keep their hair and skirts tightly in place. Harry was as a spirit of the forest, mystical and enchanting, his lips full and pink and uttering the sweetest of words that he never even had the courage to speak, yet was entirely said through the sway of his hands to his mess of hair and the light of the crinkle above his nose.

Harry couldn’t be real.

  


Sitting awkwardly to the kitchen table, Louis’ fork clattered a noisy rhythm to his plate as his mother and stepfather looked to one another expectantly, Louis completely void of any actions as he cupped his cheek to his opposite palm and dreamed. There were so many other different ways that he could’ve made a better first impression with Harry, but he’d chosen to stand there stupidly, and Louis couldn’t believe it! Sure, Harry had been the one watching and stalking _him_ from the side of the road, but Louis was the one that had gone in for answers and drawn back into himself as his courage had fled to the first sight of that ruffled image stepping from the leaves.

“Louis, eat darling.” Jay prompted quietly as she touched to Louis’ hand gently, Louis moving his hand from her grasp as he openly ignored her. Louis was still sore about being left.

“Knock it off.” Mark warned lowly, Louis meeting his eyes dangerously as he began stabbing his plate all the louder, the beans rolling about crazily to mingle to the hash that had grown cold in his defiance of going hungry unless given what he’d _asked_ for.

Lottie squealed in delight to the game as she dipped her hands to her mashed bananas and began flinging them about her shirt and the table before her, Jay making to reach for her daughter entirely too slowly as Lottie managed to dump her bowl to the floor.

“Jesus!” Jay snapped as Lottie squealed happily, her hands smacking together as Louis looked to her in annoyance.

“Jesus!” Lottie repeated as Jay looked to Mark quickly, Mark’s lips quirking as he took a slag of his beer in pride. “Jesus!”

“Enough, you!” Jay snapped, fighting away her amusement as she sighed to the mess, gesturing to the dish towel hanging just behind Mark’s place at the table as he tossed it to her quickly, Louis’ lips unable to hold back the words that slipped past his teeth in hopes of shifting the attention back to himself and how he _wasn’t_ going to forgive so easily.

“I met a boy today!” Jay, Mark and Lottie all seemed to look to Louis as he turned his eyes slowly back to his plate, burying the beans beneath the mash as he shrugged offhandedly.

“Was he a new boy, then? In primary?” Jay cooed as she began wiping Lottie’s arms off, her smile warm as Louis looked to her stupidly as if she were already supposed to know.

“He doesn’t _go_ to primary.”

“Doesn’t go?” Mark spoke up around a mouthful as Louis looked to him carefully, nodding his head as Lottie began to scream to be let out from her highchair.

“Why wouldn’t he go to primary? Is he older than you by much?” Jay looked to Louis warily as Louis again shrugged and began stabbing the beans about his plate.

“I think he’s younger than me.”

“Then he must be in a primary somewhere.” Jay laughed gently as she set Lottie to the kitchen floor to watch her toddle off to play with her dolls loudly in the other room, Mark nodding as he smirked.

“I’m sure all boys like to say they’re not in primary to outdo the other-”

“If he said he wasn’t, then he’s not!” Louis snapped as he allowed his fork fall from his grasp to shatter loudly to the plate, his tiny hands shoving himself and his chair back from the table as Jay’s face turned angry.

“Excuse me! Louis!”

Openly ignoring his mother, Louis stomped from the dining room without further explanation, his body quivering to the judgment passed to Harry without his mum or Mark even _knowing_ him! Louis wasn’t sure why he was so angry, or why the tears fled his cheeks, but he knew he wanted nothing more than to protect Harry, for if just in that fleeting second that Harry turned his wide, full eyes to his own, Louis was absolutely smitten. It was stupid and ridiculous, but Louis couldn’t help himself, slamming the bathroom door behind himself as he angrily stripped from his trousers and shirt to throw the bath water as warm as it would go before nearly dumping the entire bottle of his mum’s favorite soap mix to the water steaming angrily to his hand that wavered over the waters edge.

Stepping tentatively to the murky and smudged glass that instantly broke and rumbled to his jumping and splashing in the scalding of his skin, Louis bit his lip tightly as his skin flushed red as he merely rushed to sit and fully immerse himself, the pain of the burn to his skin taking away from the conflict of his mind as he drew his knees tightly to his chest and lay his forehead to his kneecaps. But who was this boy to make him feel like this? Closing his eyes tightly, Louis saw nothing but the slight body beneath a dirty jumper and a mess of hair that looked soft and untidy as two rows of sparkling teeth glimmered in fondness of a cat wrapped to the legs of a pair of rolled trousers.

Louis had been aware someone had always watched him walk home from school, and lately it hadn’t bothered him until he’d started to approach the sinking feeling that again clawed up his spine to grip to the base of his brain, the unseen force of Harry and that look he gave Louis privately as Louis had stroked Ginger’s coat softly completely wiping his mind to oblivion as he sought solace to ease the rush of his stomach and the tingling of his skin that had grown numb to the warmth of the water. Letting a hand slowly catch a fistful of bubbles, Louis blew them from his palm as he sank back to the tub’s edge, allowing his mouth sink beneath surface as his nose skimmed the water, his eyes watching the rippling flow from his nose as he grew still and tired. Louis decided that though Harry was weird and he didn’t go to primary, he’d continuously watched Louis for a reason and Louis went in to search for him for another reason unknown; and yet in their brief meeting, Louis was addicted, and longed for nothing more than to stumble to Harry’s clearing the next day.

“Louis.” A hard knock to the door shook Louis from the vision of floating to a large and expansive, quiet sea as he again drew his knees to his chest and lay his cheek to his scalded skin to face away from the door that opened cautiously.

Jay looked to her son with a gentle sigh as she took in the slight shake of his shoulders and swallowed her anger to shut the door save for a small crack to allow the steam clinging heavily to the floor to flow to the hallway as she sat to the edge of the tub and touched Louis’ back softly.

“Honey-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Louis cut in as Jay’s hand stilled, her chest heaving a lowly grunt as she bit to the inside of her cheek, her hands dipping to the water behind Louis’ back and gathering a large amount of her favorite bubble bath as she resisted snapping in annoyance to Louis being too damn smart for his own good.

“Then we won’t talk.”

Swallowing lightly, Louis’ eyes closed to his mother’s fingers massaging his scalpe as she cupped water to his tangled and wild fringe that instantly settled wetly to his neck, Jay’s fingers tracing lightly over the shaved sides as she thought of the first time Louis had requested the haircut of the fringe he’d seen on an older boy on the television, some pop-star or something.

“Mum I’m not a baby, you don’t have to wash me! What if I need my privacy?” Louis called out quickly as Jay began scrubbing his hair, Louis turning to her with a fierce look as Jay snorted loudly in response, kicking her shoes off to side of the tub as she allowed her feet to slip to the water next to Louis’ thigh as Louis scooted away.

“Privacy for what? Hush up and get back over here so I can finish washing you properly.”

“Mum-!”

“So, tell me about him.” Louis’ protest instantly cut short as Jay snatched Louis’ head back to her reach, scrubbing gently to his hair as Louis unconsciously sighed loudly in awe and frustration.

“I don’t know anything about him.”

“And yet you met him?” Jay’s eyes widened in concern as Louis nodded beneath her touch.

“Well, I mean I guess I know he’s been watching me come and go from the bus, but I think it’s because he’s lonely-”

“He’s been watching you.” Jay deadpanned as Louis nodded excitedly, looking back to her with clear, beautiful eyes as she frowned to the thought of her son running off to meet a lurker of the woods. “Louis, what have I said about talking to strangers? You’re simply supposed to come from the bus straight home!”

“I know, _mum_ , but I heard him playing one day and got curious!” Louis again ripped his head away in frustration as Jay’s hands hung quietly before her, her elbows digging to her thighs as she frowned deeply.

“How long have you _known_ he’s been watching you?”

“A while, I suppose.” Louis shrugged indifferently as Jay looked to his face turned to the bubbles that he gathered to his chin innocently as her mind raced. “I just didn’t know it was him.”

“I don’t think seeing this boy is a good idea anymore, Lou.” Louis turned angry eyes to his mother as Jay instantly recalculated the look back. “I’m serious! What if he’s dangerous?”

“He has a cold or something, what is he going to do? _Sneeze_ on me?” Louis snapped as he dunked his head quickly to the water before he ripped his fingers to his fringe, popping back to air with a wild gasp of air before snatching away the towel Jay was holding loosely to her fingers as Louis wrapped it about his waist and stepped angrily and clumsily from the tub to the cold tile beneath that sent a shiver up his spine. “You don’t even know him-”

“Neither do you!” Jay shouted as she fixed Louis to an incredulous look, Louis staring her down as he felt a tear pool hotly to the corner of his eye, ripping the bathroom door from his way as he stomped back to his room in search of silence and solitude.

She would _never_ understand; Louis couldn’t just stay away now.

  


⊱⊰


	5. A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprint of your ultimate achievements; when come, sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.”

  
  


[Quit](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Qwc0aZjxEA)

  
  


It was as if Louis were transfixed.

There wasn’t a thought that passed his mind that didn’t revolve around the odd issue that came in Harry swaddled to his jumper and messy hair. Louis wasn’t sure what it was within himself, but every time he again met that steady gaze, his fingers tingled and his lips ran dry as he swallowed away the nervousness that ran a warm blush to his cheeks and pulled his lips to a private and quiet smile. It was all silly, and it didn’t make sense, and though it’d been the same as the days previous, Louis couldn’t fight the rising feeling of defeat within his chest as he peeked to Harry’s hollow and found it still as death.

The windows and shades were drawn tightly and the light was dull and dim. It was all quiet and unsettling and Louis had to bite to his bottom lip to keep the loud sigh of frustration at bay to never tell of the disappointment that flooded his body and caused his feet to move before his mind could register that he was fleeing sadly from the upcoming well of emotions. Frowning angrily to the weird turn he’d taken of a boy he’d only met properly _once_ , Louis swiped the sleeve of his school jumper beneath his eyes that puffed and swelled angrily to the onslaught of tears that had yet to break as Louis stepped over fallen branches and brambles that snagged to his socks in yearning of keeping him forever to the safety and the quiet of the wood.

It was as if Harry had possessed this light, this aura that Louis craved always, and with it being locked away and hidden to the confines of the house sealed from the light of the world and the fresh peal of rain that emitted from the canopy above the quiet and desolate road stretching before him; without that light, Louis again clutched a hand to the hole of his ribs that moved to settled to the middle of his stomach. He was cold and drenched, but it didn’t matter, the toes of his shoes scuffed to the heavy stomp of his feet as his fringe fell to lay wetly to the back of his neck and his forehead. Whimpering gently, Louis’ fingers clutched to close the hole ripping further open with every movement from Harry’s keep as his jumper soon grew soaked, the vision of blood mixing to his fingers causing his world to rock woozily before a loud chirp of a horn behind him caused Louis to jump terribly and rip to the side of the road.

“What are you doing?” Jay called as she rolled her window down, Lottie squealing from the backseat as Louis looked to her with squinted eyes and simply turned his face back to the road as he walked tightly to the wet grass that tripped him up. “Louis! I told you to wait and I’d pick you up!”

Louis grumbled beneath his breath as he tried to walk faster, Jay sighing loudly to the stubbornness in her son that resembled her own as she sped forward to park the car to the middle of the road before tossing her door open, her coat held over her hair protectively as her wellies squished to the rock and muck settling thickly in the rainwater, waiting with drawn face as Louis slowly approached and attempted to brush past, her hand landing forcefully to his chest as she frowned deeply.

“Louis?”

“I just want to go home!” Louis snapped as he ripped his face from Jay’s wandering touch, Jay catching Louis by the back of his jumper as Lottie began screaming angrily from the backseat at being left alone as she tossed her dry cereal about the floorboards and into the front seat.

“I had planned on taking you and Lottie with me into the city, what’s the matter?”

Louis frowned to the toes of his shoes as Jay pushed him lightly around the front of the car. “Get in, Louis.”

Rounding the front bumper of the car slowly, Louis thought of his chances of beating his mum home and getting to his room to lock the door behind him to sulk before giving in to the fact that she _wasn’t_ going to give up until she got exactly what she wanted. Opening the passenger door unwillingly and tossing his rucksack to the backseat next to Lottie who began repeating his name excitedly, Louis was filled with dread. Smiling to his sister lightly, Louis buckled himself in as Jay shook her hair out and tossed the car swiftly around to pull from the covered road, the silence falling to the front seat awkward and daunting as Louis again sighed to the pain of his middle as his fingers gripped tighter to the fabric of his jumper.

Eyes turned out the window, Louis thought of what Harry could possibly be doing and why he wasn’t out playing, though it seemed obvious no one but himself would be traipsing about in the rain, looking for an excuse to be happy.

“What is the matter? Why are you so unhappy?” Jay spoke cautiously as her fingers fiddled to turn the heat up to full blast before switching to Lottie’s audio CD that began humming annoyingly to the back speakers as Lottie instantly calmed and fell to sleep.

“’M not.” Louis muttered as he laid his head to the cool glass, watching the village quickly pass him by as Jay’s fingers gripped in a deadly vice to the steering wheel.

“Louis, I think you need to stop worrying over some odd little boy in the woods.” Louis instantly stiffened as Jay looked fleetingly to the hand clutched tightly to his middle, trying to keep himself from ripping painfully apart to every blow of a new word. “It’s not healthy-”

“I’ve not done anything!” Louis demanded as he turned fully away to stare angrily from the window as the hills and blurred foliage sped past as Jay sighed.

“You’ve been sulking for the past few days, yeah? Are you saying it has nothing to do with this little boy?” Louis’ teeth bit fiercely to his bottom lip as his mouth flooded with the metallic hue of blood, his fingers nearly tearing through his jumper as Jay sighed. “Is he bullying you? Should I go have a chat with his mum-”

“I haven’t even seen him, yeah? He’s been gone!” Louis exploded as he turned to his mother with dark eyes, Jay instantly recoiling as she read the aged sadness lingering to Louis’ eyelashes as he fought away tears.

“But, why are you so _sad_?” Jay nearly whispered as Louis settled back to his seat, laying his head again to the cool of the window as the sweat beaded to his forehead sent his skin sticky and clammy.

Louis had never thought Jay to be dense, but he knew no matter how many times he cared to explain himself, she would never understand. For Christ’s sake, Louis wasn’t even able to understand! Did she honestly think he liked feeling fucked up and weird on the inside, as if he were muddled without purpose or thought of why he was supposed to feel the way he did? It was as if Louis had a secret, and the thought of his mum intruding on that, or trying to understand to Louis’ capacity, simply to step in and assert her authority on something that had a possibility of never fully coming about drove him up the wall.

Clutching his fingers tighter and pressing to his stomach, Louis’ eyebrows furrowed angrily as Jay’s lips turned white to the pressure of biting back the words and condolence she longed to shower to her son, for her mind tricked her of thinking it was her job getting in her way; of working too many hours and never giving him the proper attention. Swallowing hard, Louis watched the shadow of the car race to the opposite lane of the road and the wild grasses and flowers that grew wildly in the ditches as Louis knew Jay wasn’t to be blamed for her simplicity of mind.

It must’ve been so terrible to lose imagination and innocence, to be weathered by the world.

  
  


Craning his head back to the swirling clouds laced thickly overhead, Louis closed his eyes to the kiss of the single raindrop that slithered his nose and settled coolly to the corner of his mouth. Listening to the sounds of the city with Lottie’s hand clutched tightly within his own, Louis couldn’t help but smile to the freedom that seemed to flow crazily about him. Shifting his eyes to Jay who moved the hair from her face that had settled to a frizzy mess, before waving goodbye to a fellow coworker of the hospital she nearly lived, Louis’ fingers tangled tightly about Lottie’s as Lottie looked to a mess of balloons, her eyes wide and clear as she chewed to the lolli staining her few small teeth.

It all seemed to be a flurry of swishing, wispy tiffany skirts, dress shoes and bags dragging to the paved walk as London filtered past, Louis’ imagination running away as he picture himself there, older with stubble to his chin and a swagger to his walk that would read of an unseen confidence to the man he’d known himself to be.

“Alright then, come on!” Jay spoke up as she shrugged the collar of her coat tighter to her neck as she touched Louis to the back of the head softly, Louis’ attention never wavering from a girl passing in a fluttering dress with hair to her waist and a kind, searching smile as she raised a hand to the young boy who was sure to grow up to become a heartbreaker.

Following to Jay’s frantic rush to seek shelter from the rain that began to patter quickly back to Louis’ cheeks in the slight lull of the storm that had come and gone, Louis pulled Lottie along as he scanned the crowd of a familiar face that he knew wouldn’t be there, yet still couldn’t help but hold hope to find. Sighing in annoyance to Jay’s cheerful chirp to the man that held the door for her at the entrance of the shop, Louis picked Lottie from the ground and slung her to his hip as he cast a bitter look to the man who simply smiled and bowed his head in passing.

“Louis, for God’s sake, smile or something.” Jay pleaded as she snatched Lottie up and sat her to the seat of the trolley, Louis’ finger intertwining to the wire of the side as he looked to the aisles of stacked foods and cans and the few people that seemed to be there, bored and isolated as well. “I’ll buy you any crisps you want?”

“Fine.” Louis shrugged as he looked to his mother doubtfully, Jay sighing in frustration as she lead them forward to the produce, the cold blast to Louis’ skin sending a shiver down his spine as he gazed to the weirdly shaped fruits before him, his fingers tracing the fuzzy skin of one fruit as he snickered to the odd sensation to his healed fingertip.

Looking to Jay to share his discovery, Louis’ face fell to annoyance he watched her chat animatedly to another woman who was rocking her newborn quickly, Louis’ eyes locking instantly to Lottie’s sat up in the trolley as he smiled and plucked the fruit from amidst the others. Standing straight to the rail of the back of the trolley and holding tight to the handle, Louis held the fruit before Lottie’s widening, blue eyes as she cocked her head in wonder.

“The sign says it’s a kiwi?” Louis explained as Lottie’s small fingers traced over the minute hairs cautiously before her face broke into a wide smile.

“Soft!”

“Weird, innit?” Louis chucked the fruit to the trolley behind Lottie as he squished her cheeks together in boredom, Lottie instantly screaming and fighting away as she pressed her bottom lip out quickly.

“Stop, Lou!”

“Where do you think the crisps are, Lottie?” Lottie’s protest instantly grew quiet as Louis smiled mischievously, looking to Jay as she still cooed over another woman’s child as Louis fell gracefully from the trolleys back and fought to see before him as he pushed heavily.

Turning the corner widely, Louis smiled to the elderly woman that gazed to both he and Lottie as she assisted her wilted husband to his chair from the carton of milk he’d been adamantly fighting to grasp to his shriveled and gray fingers, Louis’ eyes tracing the signs to each individual aisle before he found what he was looking for.

“Hold on.” Louis instructed as Lottie immediately gripped the handle of the trolley tightly between Louis’ own hands, Louis’ foot shoving to the slicked tile beneath them as he drew his other foot to the back rail as he and Lottie sped toward their destination.

Lottie’s lips pulled to a wide, genuine smile as other children clinging to the coats of their parents watched in awe and slight envy as Louis took control of the racecar purring beneath him. Letting a foot slip back to the floor, Louis pushed off again as Lottie squealed in excitement, the terrain slipping quickly past as the car gained speed, the dust spitting from beneath the tires behind them clouding Louis’ vision of the road wasting away to the horizon as he pulled a sharp left. It was the wrong aisle, but Louis didn’t mind as he and Lottie again flew to the front seat of a speeding machine, the wind raking through their hair from the opened windows as they smiled to one another at the mention of the liberation flooding their veins. It wasn’t long before both Louis and Lottie were marveling to the tall shelves of crisps, Louis pulling the trolley tightly to the many fluorescent colored bags as Lottie began madly grabbing for them and tossing them to place behind her, Louis taking away those labeled “Low Fat” or “Reduced Sodium” and replacing with those that promised more value and greasier fingers.

Lottie giggled in excitement as Louis’ hands stretched tightly above his head for a bag settled just to the edge of the shelf, his fingers brushing _just_ to the corner of the bag before there was a loud draw of breath behind them as Jay stomped to her children with a look of enragement plastered to her brow and lips.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jay snapped as she gripped Louis tightly by the wrist and spun him around, Louis looking to his mother with wide eyes as Jay’s face further darkened. “Don’t _ever_ walk away in a public place with your sister where I can’t see you, do you understand me? And get this shite out of the trolley.”

Louis’ face pulled to hurt as Jay popped him to the back of the head, her finger pointed as a crooked claw to the seemingly hundreds of bag piled about themselves as Louis stood on tiptoes to retrieve each package and return it to the shelf.

“Sorry.” Louis mumbled quietly as Jay snorted.

“If I _really_ believed that, Louis.”

Louis pulled a face as Jay nearly snarled to the snarky look that passed before Louis turned away and began marching, Jay’s fingers smoothing Lottie’s hair back from her face as Lottie immediately turned her face away and began to pout. She hated when mum made Louis upset.

“Bad mummy.” Lottie scolded gently as Jay sighed and screwed her lips down tightly.

“What, you’ll be angry with me as well?”

Sighing in annoyance as Lottie instantly folded her little arms to her chest, Jay caught up to Louis as they finished shopping in silence, Louis’ mind completely away from the problem at hand as he longed to know why Harry again had never returned. Smiling offhandedly to the kindly man nodding to him in greeting, Louis’ fingers tangled absently to Lottie’s as he stared to the rain streaking the darkening pavement of the city bustling by without care. Louis wondered what it would be like to be an adult; whether he would feel better, feel whole without care in the world of problems in the exception that he would be able to travel anywhere he desired. What could possibly be bad about being free?

Helping Lottie from the cart to balance heavily to his hip as he flipped the hood of her windbreaker over her head, Louis followed Jay to the car parked to the curb as she hurriedly rushed the sacks to the boot before turning to her children and gripping Louis by the hand, nearly yanking him across the street to the smoky and dark storefront that sat and spewed an arrogance of befuddlement and disturbance from the other posh shops lining the street. Louis knew it was weak, but as much as he was angry with his mum, her couldn’t help but clutch her fingers tighter as Jay pulled them through the front door of the shop, the tiny bell clanging loudly to announce their presence as the couple stationed behind the counter smiled kindly.

Taking in the musty smell and the stacks upon stacks of books surrounding him, Louis set Lottie to her feet as his fingers fell from Jay’s, Jay looking to him fleetingly as Louis immediately made for the section of brightly colored books with thick, hard covers and intricately and beautifully drawn pictures of adventures he could only imagine to take for himself. Stopping short to a book with a majestically vibrant cover art that caught his attention, Lottie ran square to back of Louis’ legs as she fell back to her bum and began blubbering quietly, building to a hysterical scream.

“Stop it!” Louis begged as he turned and picked her from the ground, smoothing the hair from her face as she fixed her wide, bleary eyes to his own. “Look, I’ll find you a story, yeah?”

Lottie frowned as Jay turned from the many books brought from beneath the counter at her earlier call to the shop the previous day, Louis leading Lottie further to the thick of books the last thing she saw.

“This!” Lottie demanded as she tugged to Louis’ hand, Louis drawing back to pluck the book from amid the mess as he studied the cover with a sneer.

“Princesses?”

“Yes!” Lottie instructed as she poked Louis hard to the stomach, Louis shoving the book back to place as he pulled Lottie along who began heavily dragging her feet.

“You don’t want that silly book, Lottie! You want adventure and lots of fighting-”

“Princesses!” Lottie screeched as Louis sighed and let go of her hand, turning a sour look to the little girl as she instantly fled her hands to her hips.

“Then go have a look, I’m not going to read it!”

“Mummy!” Lottie shouted as she fought her tiny feet back to Jay who turned with a sigh and wrinkle of the brow as she slung Lottie to her chest, Louis rolling his eyes to his sister’s simplicity as his fingers traced the spines of the old tales gathering dust.

It was nearly a crime to leave them all sit, the titles seeming to blur together into one as Louis longed to read them all, smiling to Harry possibly reenacting one of his own favorite stories that day that seemed so far gone, as Louis saw him twirling and wrenching his stick as a sword before him to the still quiet of the wood within the shadow of the castle as a protective mother. Spotting a familiar title, Louis slowly slid it from it’s place, the book instantly raised to his nose as he smelled the familiar ink of the pages and the wear of time and love seeped to every page as he clutched it between his hands, his eyes skimming the title before looking back to the place the book had been claimed from, a prickle running his spine as the book clattered to the floor between his feet.

There, in the space of the books in the dark and dust, sat a pair of brilliant, green eyes, the corners turning up ever so slowly as Louis took in the sparkling white teeth and the straight, serious eyebrows before the vision was gone in a blur.

“Harry!” Louis called as he hurried to the end of the short aisle, nearly toppling to a tall tower of stacked books before wrenching to the other aisle opposite, only to find _nothing_. “Harry?”

With quick step, Louis allowed his fingers trace to the spines of the books as he lined himself to the place he could’ve sworn he’d seen Harry, his eye peeking cautiously to the hole where there was another book missing, only to find the place where he’d removed the book opposite to again be filled. Frowning, Louis poked a finger to the pages of the other book as he nearly shoved it to the floor of the opposite side before there was a shuffling down from him to the opposite side of the wide and mysterious shelving. Swallowing thickly, Louis was quiet in his step as he listened to the ruffling of pages, his face completely stilled as he measured up his aim before quietly gripping a thin book from the shelf. As the book fell from its place to his grip, Louis nearly flung the tale away from him in shock to the familiar face turned to a book held gently about his chest, Louis’ sharp intake of breath drawing his attention as Harry looked up slowly with a sly smile.

Louis was again mesmerized, Harry’s hair still piled messily atop his head as his cheeks dented and gave way to two dimples Louis hadn’t thought to notice to their previous encounter. Fighting to calm his breathing and his racing heart, Louis didn’t dare to look away as Harry simply closed the book within his hands, his own eyes never leaving Louis’ as his lips slowly fell back together, his fingers tightening to the bottom of his shirt as a certain look of mischievousness fell to light.

“Louis! What are you doing? If you’re to pick something out, get it and let’s go! Mark will be home soon and I don’t want the groceries to spoil!” Louis looked to Jay with wide eyes as Jay’s look of measured annoyance instantly fell, her lips parting in question before Louis’ head whipped back to the _absence_ lingering to the other side of the shelf.

“No!” Louis gasped in a strangled wail as he quickly rounded Jay in his flurry to pause to the previous aisle to find it _empty_. “No!”

Rushing to the aisle next and the aisle after it, the couple perched to the counter seemed to watch Louis in confusion as Jay trailed him quickly, smiling in apology as Lottie toddled after them excitedly, as if playing a favorite game.

“Louis, stop-”

“Mum, he was here, I swear to God!”

“Louis!” Jay demanded in a hiss, yanking Louis up by the arm as she led him to an aisle as Jay held him close, her face blotchy and red with anger as Louis refused to look to her, all the while searching. “Who was here? What is this about?”

“Harry, mum! I saw him!” Jay sighed immediately to Louis’ desperate plea as her lips pressed together tightly, her grip never loosening to Louis’ as she slung Lottie to her hip before gathering her sack of books and marching for the door, a lopsided smile of embarrassment being tossed to the couple posted to the front desk as they looked on in mild humor and concern.

Frantically looking behind him as the door swung shut before his face, Jay’s grip never eased to Louis’ upper arm as he was hauled across the street and nearly thrown to the passenger door.

“Get in the car.”

“But, mum-!”

“Get in the goddamn car, Louis!” Jay shouted, a few mingling by on the walk looking to her with raised eyebrows as Jay began strapping Lottie to her car seat, her eyes meeting to those that watched with a spit of fire as she sneered. “Something you’re interested in, yeah? Fuck off!”

Louis’ cheeks warmed as he clambered to the passenger seat and buckled himself, Jay wasting no time in taking her own seat and nearly flooding the engine in her haste to pull from the curb and cut off at least four others in her rush. Blinking to the tears that welled about his eyes stupidly, Louis made to not even dare breathe as Jay’s fingers wrung the steering wheel to death, the storm brewing.

“How _dare_ you.” Jay hissed quickly as Louis flinched, never looking to his mother who continually shot him a look that could curdle milk from the side of her eye. “Louis, listen to me! How dare you act like that in a public place! I just-”

Jay breathed loudly as she frowned, her foot pressing to the gas as she passed a few drivers that honked angrily to her well over breaking the posted speed limit.

“I dunno what I’ve done to make you so angry all the time, but it doesn’t mean we have to be embarrassed in public, for God’s sake!”

“I’m not angry at anybody!” Louis snapped back as Jay’s nostrils flared.

“Then what is the problem?”

“The problem is I saw the boy in the shop, and you’re acting like I’m mad or something!” Jay hesitated as she swallowed, her head shaking quickly as she again began to wring the life of the steering wheel.

“There is no boy.”

Louis’ eyes nearly boggled from his head as he turned his attention from the fields flying past to the face of his guilty mother, her wrinkles set in determination as Louis scowled in disgust.

“When you _choose_ to not look-”

“Stop it-”

“No! He was there and I saw him, and this is your entire fault to begin with! Had you not _forgotten_ me-”

“Enough!” Jay shouted, Lottie jumping with a slight squeal of terror as Louis shrank back in his seat, his eyes wide as Jay began to visibly shake. “Stop it with this boy, Louis, you’re obsessed! He doesn’t exist! This is obviously a feeling of anger towards me and Mark after your father left, and I won’t have you linger on something so juvenile as to make up an entire person!”

Louis’ chest squeezed painfully as his face furthered with disgust, turning fully away from Jay as he openly ignored her lunatic ravings, his fingers working tightly to the legs of his trousers as Louis begged his lips stop quivering. He wasn’t a coward, and he wasn’t going to let his mother know she’d just poured salt to his wound. Harry had nothing to do with his father, because Harry was good. Harry was mysterious and sarcastic and imaginative, and the last thing Louis wanted to do was imagine Harry as being this bad man like his father, completely disinterested in him and running away to solve his problems.

How could Jay say something so vile and cruel after Louis only mentioning Harry the once? Did Louis really seem that crazy? Louis had made sure that he wasn’t to share his thoughts with any other member of his family, save for Lottie, after they’d not taken kindly to Louis’ insight at the dinner table. What Louis wasn’t aware of in that moment as he curled into himself and willed a dream of flying far away to enter his mind, was the tiny tear that slipped to Jay’s cheek, her hand brushing it away angrily as she checked to Lottie sucking her thumb worriedly in the back.

Jay wasn’t sure what to think, but she knew that though Louis wasn’t always talking about this Harry boy, he was constantly in thought about him and it wasn’t healthy. Jay couldn’t be sure whether this boy was real or not, but if he was, what had he done that had captivated Louis in such a way that she _herself_ had never been capable of? Perhaps it was a twinge of jealousy that marred her judgment in making her son cry on that car ride home, or maybe it was simply ignorance to the fact that Jay wasn’t ready to lose Louis yet.

Gathering her forehead to her palm as she listened to Louis sniffle pitifully next to her as the engine of the car screamed to her foot shoving further to the accelerator, Jay _knew_ that Harry was real, and Louis was already gone.

  
  


⊱⊰


	6. B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Happiness is a true ideal, for it is the work of the imagination. Yet it always makes to speak kindly to an enraged _dragon_ when in pursuit of crystalline keep.”

  
  


[Dream Shiver](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy6_uktQ8SI)

  
  


Louis knew it was a short chance, but he still never gave in.

Everyday in his journey home from the bus after primary was out, Louis dismissed the other boys and veered to the woods that waited quietly in understanding of his familiar trek to the path worn by the continuous passing of his feet everyday in falsified hope. There had to be a reason why he’d seen Harry in the book shop, and there had to be a reason why Harry was avoiding him, so why? But what if there wasn’t a reason? What if Harry _hadn’t_ truly been the one that had been watching Louis come and go? What if Louis had been the one to come in and disrupt Harry’s life and order by his accusations and curiosity? Pausing in his venture forward, Louis’ eyes widened in realization.

What if Jay had been right? What if Harry had simply been a figment of Louis’ imagination that had never been real, and Louis had simply been chasing smoke in hopes of finding someone that would fill and fix the hole of his chest that longed to ache and widen further to the loneliness and dread that had seemed to cloud his judgment? In the past months Louis had realized there wasn’t ever going to be another that was to be willing to fully understand and long to know what and where Louis was aiming from in his wide imagination and innocence in approach of life and the coming things he expected for himself, so why _now_? Swallowing loudly, Louis’ fingers touched to the soft bark of a nearby tree as he sighed lowly and pressed his palm to his forehead forcibly.

“ _What_ is happening?” Louis questioned lowly, his brows crinkling tightly as a slight shuffle of the trees was lost to the thoughts racing his head and bringing a roar to mask his ears.

Looking forward to the promise of the clearing that waited in the possibility of simply telling Louis if the house itself was even _there_ , Louis turned quickly on his heel as he sped back for the road, unnoticed to the little, skinny fingers that wound the side of a tree as a pair of eyes, wide with curiosity and confusion watched the other flee. Grumbling to himself, Louis swatted branches from his way in attempt to simply run home and hide in his room with his thoughts and his doubts, a vain swing of a tall curve of grass rendering painful as Louis released a tiny wail of pain to the sharp prick to the middle of his palm.

Leaping away from the fire that licked up his arm and ran tears to his cheeks, Louis covered his other hand within his jumper as he managed to wrestle out the thistle embedded tightly beneath his skin, the blood seeming to pool effortlessly as Louis let out another sniffle and hiccup of pain. Using his shoulder to issue aside any other offensive dangers, a tiny body seemed to creep through the underbrush as he came to watch Louis’ shoes trek to the road before picking pace quickly to the blood dribbling his arm and soaking to the leg of his primary trousers. Sticking a finger to the deceiving and gentle lilac of the thistle, Harry smiled to the similar situation he’d encountered once before to Louis’ blatant disregard for the obvious plant before him as his eyes traced the tiny pricks of Louis’ blood still lingering to the thorns menacingly. Louis was such an idiot sometimes, but Harry couldn’t deny his interest in Louis that rendered just as dangerous and similarly odd and fascinated to a boy that had simply walked through a thicket in search of another soul once separated.

  
  


“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Jay questioned for the millionth time as Louis simply shrugged and closed his fist tightly beneath the table, the sting of his palm nearly maddening as Jay turned to him from her purse laid open widely before her. “Louis, you can always come along-”

“I don’t want to _sit_ with you at work.” Louis snapped as he popped another crisp in his mouth, Jay simply biting her tongue to the snarky remark she was about to make as she still sensed the anger and bitterness Louis had yet to relieve himself from in their trip to London.

“A hospital could be fun.” Jay hinted as she fixed her scrub shirt gently before doing up her bag and turning to watch Louis, frowning to his befuddled expression. “I’m only making a suggestion-”

“No.” Louis finalized as he sucked another crisp to his mouth, his fingers only clenching tighter to his palm as his mind raced to find why the pain seemed to be so soothing, and yet so torturous at the same time. His mum was a nurse for God’s sake, why wasn’t he just going to allow her to stitch him up and put an end to the misery?

Louis’ face instantly tensed to Jay brushing by to check to Lottie playing loudly in the front room, his nails ripping to the torn skin of his flesh as his trouser leg became further soaked; because Harry _wasn’t_ real.

Because Harry wasn’t real, Louis bit to his bottom lip as he bowed his head, ignoring Jay as she answered the door to Lou’s gentle knock and her loud and completely too pleasant greeting as Jay sighed in relief and began lowly explaining away Louis’ temper.

“Louis, don’t hesitate to call!” Jay called as a final thought over her shoulder as Louis didn’t think to give her the time to turn around, his eyes fixed widely to the swollen palm laid open before him as the puckered and pink skin seemed to roll and bleed upon itself at the fact that it had yet to be taken care of.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Lou assured quietly as Jay shrugged lightly and explained away Mark’s absence as well, Lottie teetering to stand to Lou’s legs as she began waving her mother frantically away.

“Bye mummy!”

“Bye my darling, bye Louis!”

“Ouch.” Louis hissed as he stretched his palm, the pain again swelling to the forefront of his mind as he completely missed his mother turning away to the rain that began to slacken to run for the car sat idling at the curb, Lou turning Lottie away to the front room as another knock sounded immediately to Jay’s leaving.

“I told you to not come so soon!” Lou scolded as Tom shook his hair free of the rain that splattered to the front hall floors.

“Where was I to hide? I drive a bloody street bike-”

“You’re going to get me fired, I swear to God!” Lou snapped as she ushered Tom inside and peeked down the street to ensure Jay was gone, her eyes just meeting the taillights flickering ominously through the further tree line as she allowed the door shut tightly before locking them all in until the wee hours of the morning when the nurse and her husband were to return.

Turning to Tom’s peculiar look, Lou also looked to Louis’ back sat erect and completely still as she took notice to the hair slicked to the back of his neck in what appeared to be _sweat_.

“Does he truly hate his mum that much?” Tom prodded as he swung Lottie up around his neck as she squealed and pawed at his hair in delight of his arrival.

“I’m not sure? Could just be having a pissy fit again.” Lou shrugged as she led the procession to the kitchen, Tom all the while swinging Lottie about as Lou stopped just over Louis’ shoulder to suck in a loud breath of shock. “Oh my God, _Louis_!”

“Wha’s it?” Tom demanded as he rushed to her side, his mouth instantly turning down as a sweat fell to his upper lip, his skin sallow.

“Louis, what the hell happened?” Lou demanded as she swung Louis’ chair about and squatted before him, Louis’ tear stricken eyes fixing to her own as her heart began to pound. “Louis?”

“Maybe you should call Jay-”

“No!” Louis shouted as he made to jump from his seat, Lou’s fingers instantly latching to his thighs as she plopped him back to sit, breathing the hair from before her face as she shook away a mixture of stringy blonde and white.

“Louis, we have to do something! You’ve soaked completely through your trousers!”

“What happened?” Tom snapped as he let Lottie fall to his hip, his eyes ringing dangerous as he stood just over Lou and bent to eye Louis’ palm closely. “Has someone been bullying you?”

“No, I was just-” Louis cut short as he clasped his hand to a fist, Lou without thinking prying her fingers to the thick of the blood as she spread his hand back own and screwed her own face to the pain that she knew Louis was surely feeling.

“Louis, don’t-”

“I just fell!” Louis assured as Tom raised his eyebrows slowly.

“You fell.”

“On what?” Lou questioned in disbelief as Louis shrugged halfheartedly, Lou’s eyes narrowing to tight slits as she fixed him to a dark look. “ _Where_ were you?”

“I just- stepped into the woods? On the other side of the road on my way back from the bus.” Louis breezed as Lou and Tom both crinkled their noses in unison.

“Why?”

“I like it in there? It’s peaceful and-” Louis cut short as his eyes grew wide, his fingers fighting to clasp over his palm again as Lou held him firm, Tom’s eyes glazing over as he began to smirk.

“That place is notorious for having a nice toke.”

“Tom!”

“I was just saying! I’m not suggesting _he_ was having one!” Lou rolled her eyes as Tom shrugged, flinging Lottie around as Lottie began to blubber to Louis’ hand muddled with red before her now tunnel vision.

“Why were you there?” Lou demanded again as Louis’ face grew guarded. “Louis, you tell me or I’m going to call your mum-”

“I was looking for a boy!” Louis blurted as he immediately regretted it, both Lou and Tom frowning to him as Lou looked to Louis’ palm solidly.

“Louis, was this one of those weird, cult initiations boys do? Should I be concerned to stay in the same house-”

“Don’t be stupid!” Tom snapped as he looked over Lou’s shoulder again. “It looks to be our little Louis met with a thistle, maybe?”

“The purple flower with thorns?” Tom nodded quickly as he winced in sympathy.

“Dealt with plenty of ‘em, but the pain will go away if you deal with cleaning it. By the looks of it, you fell onto a big one and got it good-”

“What little boy?” Lou interrupted with interest as she scanned her mind quickly. “Was it one of the other boys you go to primary with? What were their names?”

“It wasn’t one of them.” Louis nearly commanded as Lou raised an eyebrow in defense, standing Louis from his seat as she guided him to stand over the sink on tiptoe.

“Well, excuse _me_ then.” Lou seemed to mutter to herself as she switched the water on and splashed a bit to Louis’ palm, Louis instantly hissing to the contact as Tom was heard rifling through the cabinets behind them. “You know, I should call your mum-”

“Don’t!” Louis pleaded as he yanked his hand away from Lou’s grasp, Lou making to snatch him back as she squeezed to the raw skin, which in turn brought Louis to yelp to the contact.

“Louis, just stop fighting! I’m not going to, but she’s going to notice you’ve hurt yourself!”

“I’ll tell her something else happened!” Louis answered desperately as Tom plunked the first aid to Lou’s side of the counter, Lottie weeping helplessly to Tom’s shoulder in sympathy to Louis’ constant jumps and tiny shouts of pain to the water washing him clean.

“Why isn’t she to know about you going into the woods?”

Louis thought carefully to the possibility of him sounding further crazy to the messed up bunch before him, looking over Tom’s wildly tattooed arms, stretched earlobes and wild hair to Lou’s oddly colored and stringy long hair, her own arms and hands littered with intricate and pretty tattoos. Swallowing thickly, Louis knew that though they were annoying and stupid, and possibly the most insane and thick couple of teenagers that could’ve possibly been put in charge of Lottie and himself, there was a subtle gentleness about them that caught Louis off guard, his attention never falling from Lou’s gentle cradle of his injury to the constant stream of water as she never bothered to wash Louis’ blood from beneath her nails.

“She doesn’t think he exists.” Louis finally spoke, his voice barely heard as Tom frowned, Lou looking to him carefully as she managed to clear away the blood and clot it off enough to look to the tiny inflicted gashes in Louis’ palm.

“And?”

“And what?” Louis snipped as he jumped to Lou’s touch, fighting to run away as he felt the world close in around him, his feet nervous and jumpy within those shoes that felt entirely too big.

“Is he real?” Tom prodded softly as he rocked Lottie gently; the swaying seeming to calm her flushed and tired cheeks as she brought her thumb to her lips passionately before soothing herself to the familiar rhythm.

“I think so.” Louis whispered, as Lou seemed to smile tenderly, more to herself than anyone else.

“You know, it’s okay if he’s not? I used to have a friend I fancied, and she wasn’t real! Her name was Caroline-”

“Don’t tell him that, you absolute loon!” Tom instructed as he still swayed Lottie’s further stilling body. “If he’s real, then you shouldn’t give a damn what your mum thinks, mate! I know you’re young, but you’re not daft, are you?”

“No!” Louis puffed his chest in assertiveness as Tom smiled a crooked smile and nodded in comfort.

“Then pash what your mum thinks and do whatever makes you comfortable!”

“Unless this boy is dangerous!” Lou interrupted as she fixed Louis in her attention, her gaze unwavering and oddly _motherly_. “If he’s bad news, you’re to stay away from him! You don’t want to be kidnapped, or impaled or something ridiculous!”

“That’s the whole fun in being a boy!” Tom shouted rowdily as Lou rolled her eyes again, looking to Tom with a sneer.

“Why do I date you?”

“’S not appropriate to talk about in front of the children.” Tom quirked an eyebrow as Louis nearly wretched, making to run away to his room before Lou was managing through the first aid kit and turning back to him, face drawn.

“I’m going to have to-”

“Will it hurt?” Louis whimpered as Lou nodded slightly with a pained expression, Louis thinking of pulling away before the image of a boy smiling to him through a peep of a bookshelf crossed his mind, the comfort and peace swelling to his chest seeming to render him frozen to the spot as he simply watched to Lou with trust and wholehearted foolishness.

Lou was careful as she washed her hands of Louis’ blood before gathering the small hand before her, her eyes crinkling to the sides as she gagged for effect.

“This is so disgusting-”

“Just do it!” Louis demanded as he turned his head away, Lou biting tightly to her bottom lip as she held the bottle of rubbing alcohol tightly within her grasp. Tossing a fleeting look to Tom over her shoulder, Lou sighed loudly in fear. “What if I make his hand fall off?”

“For God’s sake, Lou, just pour the damn alcohol on so the boy can eat his crisps and biscuits! I imagine it hurts enough without you airing it!” Tom instructed as Lottie clung to his neck, her lips pressed wetly to his shirt as she drooled, Tom passing a slight smile before fixing Lou to a stern look. “Do _I_ need to do it?”

“No! You’re not even supposed to be here!” Louis snapped as Lou turned to him with pinched eyes and a downward turn of her lips.

“I’d suggest you not get sassy-”

“I’m sorry if it bloody hurts!” Louis breathed in disbelief as Lou stretched his hand further over the kitchen sink before dabbing a large cotton swab to the top of the jug quickly.

“Just, here-” Lou stuffed a wash cloth between Louis’ teeth quickly as she simultaneously blotted the swab to Louis’ stinging palm, the pain white hot and blinding as Louis bit to the material unraveling between his forced bite and the pressure of his tongue. “Shit! I’m sorry!”

“Take it off and run ‘is hand beneath cool water, Lou!” Tom seemed to groan as Louis’ cheeks instantly grew wet to his constant attempts at fighting away the tears that muddled his vision and made him look an absolute, pathetic mess.

“Don’t snap at me, I’ve got it!” Lou tossed the swab away before rolling her eyes to Louis, gently guiding his hand beneath the water’s lukewarm temperature as Louis fought to rip his hand away as he spat the cloth to the counter.

“This doesn’t help!” Louis wailed as he began to back away, Lou wrapping a leg about his hips as he held him firm.

“This will keep away an infection! Who knows what kind of diseases are in those woods!”

“I didn’t get an infection from the first stick!” Louis protested as he managed to rip his hand away, nearly escaping from the kitchen until Lou had him fast by the waist before proceeding to sit him atop the kitchen counter as she dug through the first aid kit for a bandage and wrap.

“Just let me finish, Louis!”

Louis winced and tried to fight away from Lou’s constant touch as he squirmed to the pain that quickly bubbled and seemed to fade away, his eyes squinted to the effort as Tom stepped to the front room to lay Lottie to the couch.

“So, what’s his name then?” Lou prodded softly as Louis’ heart immediately began to race again. “The boy you _found_ in the woods.”

“I didn’t _find_ him.” Louis snipped as he sniffled to Lou’s condescending tone. “He more of found me, since he was the one watching me come and go from the bus-”

“He was _stalking_ you?”

Louis jumped to Lou’s screech as she hooked the bandage about itself and packed the materials back to the first aid kit, her eyes boring to Louis’ own as he stumbled to his own words.

“He wasn’t stalking me-”

“He was watching you without announcing his presence?” Lou leaned her hip to the counter next to Louis’ swinging feet as he shrugged defiantly.

“I suppose?”

“That’s called _stalking_ -”

“That’s not important!” Louis sighed loudly in frustration, as Tom appeared again to lean gently to the doorway before he rounded to the kitchen table and snatched up Louis’ bag of crisps, abandoned and long forgotten. “He’s younger than me, and he’s always playing in this little clearing place behind his house.”

“What’d you say his name was again?” Tom prodded as he flopped sloppily to a chair as Louis’ heels repeatedly hit to the cabinet door.

“Harry.”

Tom and Lou looked to one another at the gentle slip of the breathy sigh of Louis’ lips to the thought of the boy fluttering to the forefront of his mind as his lips quirked on account on their own doing, his brain muddled and racing as the butterflies again kick started to back of his bellybutton.

“Is he cute?”

Louis scoffed loudly as he jumped from the countertop, Tom shooting Lou with a dangerous look as Louis snatched the crisps from his grasp with his good hand as he fled the room.

“Run away, Louis! You’re lucky you can get away!”

“I hate you.” Lou muttered to Tom’s heckling as Lou leaned from the doorway of the kitchen to look after Louis’ retreating back. “I was just asking, you haven’t got to get so upset!”

Shaking his head, Louis rounded into his room as he allowed the door shut softly behind himself, his cheeks flush and warm to the question that he’d never expected anyone to ask him. Of course he couldn’t lie in admitting that Harry was cute, but what Louis saw was something so much more; because to Louis, Harry was _beautiful_. Blushing further to the maddening thought, Louis flung himself longly over his bed as he buried his face to the soft duvet gathered to his fists, the bag of crisps lay to the middle of the floor and spilt.

Was it weird to be so completely done over by something, a fantasy that was possibly not even real? How would the other boys think of him if they were to find out that Louis was sneaking off from them, and dodging their plans everyday to run about through the forest in search of a boy that might or might not have been completely real? Making to ball his fists tightly, Louis winced to the pain coursing his arm as he allowed his palm lay flat and open to the bed before him, his eyes tracing the bandage as he thought of Jay, her face pulled first in concern to Louis’ accident, then automatically morphing to anger at her realization at what Louis had been doing.

Ringing true of Tom’s words, Louis thought of himself. How could he possibly have the imagination to make something like _Harry_ up? Harry was this fantastic and majestic puff of smoke that formed to this mess of brown, curly hair and wide, green eyes that were all pulled together and graced by a full pair of lips. Groaning, Louis rolled to his back as he watched the ceiling above his head twinkle and dance to the stars that were stuck to wink to what little sunlight they’d absorbed throughout the day to shine brightly to Louis’ bed protectively throughout the night. Frowning, Louis couldn’t help but feel complacent, yet completely uncomfortable. He’d known he’d seen Harry; he’d nearly reached out to touch him! How could he possibly be having these doubts about whether Harry was real or not? And why wouldn’t Louis just go have another look-

Louis wrenched suddenly upright as his heart began to beat a little faster, his face turned to his window in immediate reaction as his lips parted to such a simple thought, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t already tried! Leaping from bed to his bedroom door, Louis peeked his head to the hallway in reassurance to Tom and Lou’s mixed laughter to some mindless sitcom playing on the television before he was rushing about to fight out of his school jumper and bloody trousers into a hooded jacket and a pair of jeans that drug to his carpet in his hurry, Louis’ frustration of the time wasting away further emphasized to his needing to stop and roll the legs of his jeans up ever so slightly as he slipped into his runners and bound for the window.

Unlocking and releasing the latch, Louis swung his legs to the crisp air of the coming dusk as the curtain blew to tangle about his arm, almost as if coaxing Louis not leave, for fear of him running off to find that Harry and the house perched in watch over the small clearing had all been a figment of his lonely mind. Shaking away the doubt, Louis repeated lowly to himself that he _wasn’t_ crazy, and that Harry was a living, breathing boy that cared entirely too much for that cat that looked to Louis in discontent, save for when he was stroking her back softly. Crashing to the leaves and losing his footing, Louis bit back his call of pain as his bandaged hand caught his weight to keep his face from smashing to the ground, his ears perked in attention to listen for signs that his captors had heard his frenzied escape.

Crouched as a robber in the stealthy cover of the night that hadn’t quite come yet, Louis waddled around the outer perimeter of his house only to nearly topple over Tom’s bike stationed tightly to the North side, muddled by leaves and the bushes Jay kept care of meticulously as Louis used it as cover to peek around to gaze into the window of the front room, the shades not yet drawn. If only for a second, Louis could make out Lou stretched out on the couch, watching Tom and Lottie roll about the floor delightedly as they all chuckled to Lottie’s chubby arms waving about her head in excitement to something Tom had previously said.

Dashing for the street, Louis didn’t allow himself to stop running until he’d reached the main road as rock and muddied sod squished beneath his worn runners, a fleeting glance of the dark, clouded sky overhead meeting his watch before a subtle peek of the sun lowering to the horizon soon became swallowed to the thick overgrown canopy shadowing the road. Taking quickly to the grass lined directly to the middle of the road, Louis’ pace never slowed as he pushed forward, his hand still throbbing slightly to every pump of blood that rushed in veins to the excitement and thrill of what he was either going to find or not find.

At sight of a car turning to the road, Louis ducked off to the brambles that clutched to his jeans in desperation of holding him for just a bit longer, Louis ignoring Zayn and Liam slowly rolling past to the backseat of Zayn’s mum’s car as they giggled and shoved to one another over the ice cream they’d managed to beg into. Squinting to the lowering light, yet still thankful that there was enough to clear his visibility, Louis pushed away branches and low hanging twigs as a loud shout caught his attention and sent his heart flying into his throat. Nervousness seemed to creep up his spine as Louis’ skin prickled to the familiar laughter of a pair of rushing feet close by.

Louis nearly wanted to scream from excitement in knowing that he hadn’t been making the entire thing up! Measuring his step carefully, Louis was careful in his approach as he broke to the opposite side of the clearing, Harry’s tiny body streaking past as a flash of maroon as his hair and jumper seemed to trail behind him to the gust of wind as he watched crazily to the trees above him. Louis was nearly about to step forward and announce his presence, when a large crack overhead seemed to draw him from his pretentious gawking to Harry’s rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes, the sight of a long, scaly _tail_ waving before his face as Louis tipped his head back.

“Oh my God.” Louis breathed, as he stood transfixed, his throat running dry as his heart sunk, his hands beginning to shake as he froze to his spot.

Staring back was the head of a beast, a long, coiling body winding through the trees and breathing a puff of smoke to Louis’ cheeks and nose as wide, red eyes flicked open to fix to Louis dangerously. The scales to the back of the _dragon_ seemed to gleam in what little light remained to shove about the beast’s massive body, the talons laced within the massive paws ripping apart the trees seeming to click and tap impatiently to Louis’ just standing there, nearly about to piss himself.

“Louis?” A voice called as Louis’ eyes never moved from the dragon’s keep as the scales sparkled brilliantly to the dragon twisting further within the foliage, the broad head of the beast seeming to lower to Louis’ direction as a scream formed to the back of his tongue, yet seemed to be choked away. “Louis, move!”

Louis looked away for a fleeting second to Harry rushing him before a loud roar was heard overhead, Louis’ eyes widening to the large creature nearly running down the trees toward him, shards of bark and leaves being thrown to his feet and impaling the soft earth as the dragon’s lips pulled back to reveal what seemed to be thousands of rows of sharp, poisonous fangs; eyes glimmering and dangerous as ruby. As a body slammed to his own and strong arms wrapped about his middle, Louis was pulled away just in time as a large paw shook to the spot he’d been standing, a voice straining in his ear as an amused chuckle brought Louis completely to his feet.

“C’mon Louis, just run a bit! I know where we can hide!” Looking to Harry dumbfounded, Louis righted to his own feet as he paused in his step to look back to the mighty dragon circling and twisting through the trees toward them as a great serpent, a large ball of fire emitting from between its lips as it fixed Louis in its path.

Thrilling to the twist of Harry’s fingers through his own, Louis followed to Harry’s wake as Harry’s thin, long legs carried them further away to a hollowed tree that he shoved Louis into, his body smashing in tightly next to Louis as both boys panted in effort to catch their breath.

“What _was_ that?” Louis demanded loudly as Harry’s hand immediately shot to cover his mouth, his lips pulled to cocky smile as he turned away briefly to check and make sure that they weren’t to be caught before looking back to Louis’ onslaught of questions. “Harry, how did a _dragon_ get here? How are we supposed to get rid of it-”

“You came back.” Harry breathed lightly as he smiled, Louis’ throat closing up as his cheeks flushed a gentle pink, Harry’s smile furthering as Louis slowly nodded. “I thought you might, but I can never be too sure about things with you.”

“Well- I mean, I didn’t mean to just come over-”

“I’m glad you did.” Harry interrupted as his face grew serious, his eyes concentrated deeply to Louis’.

A tiny beat of silence passed as both boys sat to look the other one over in the quiet still of the hollow of that old and rotted tree, Harry’s hair tangled with tiny twigs and leaves as Louis felt his heart again begin an irregular patter within his chest. Unable to break the silence that settled comfortably, Louis swallowed tightly to his dry throat as Harry openly showed his amusement to Louis’ struggle of words.

“The dragon?”

“Well, I had a sword but I dropped it back in the clearing.” Harry shrugged nonchalantly as he settled back next to Louis, tucking his ankles before himself as his fingers pushed the curls back from his eyes to settle high upon the crown of his head, a long chain of a necklace falling from beneath his jumper as a tag hung curiously to his chest. “I guess we’ll just have to camp here for the night.”

“But-” Louis drew short as he looked to the filth and dirt they were sat in, his eyes wide in looking to Harry as Harry further smiled, his teeth white and brilliant in the dark as he rolled his eyes.

“I wasn’t being serious Louis, come on! I’ll even let you be the one to slay it!” Harry laced his fingers to Louis’ tightly as Louis’ face contorted oddly.

“Slay it? Harry, I’ve never even seen-”

“Dragon!” Harry shouted quickly as both boys broke to the opposite side of the hollowed tree, the dragon’s loud hissing sounding above them as it began to scale the tree that cracked and toppled heavily beneath its weight, those ruby eyes again trained to Louis as Harry tugged him along. “Come on! We have to get to the sword!”

Allowing his feet adjust to Harry’s pace, Louis began to struggle in Harry’s longer legs carrying him faster, Louis never daring to look behind him as he felt that hot gust of breath to the back of his neck as his fringe ruffled to the effort of the dragon’s lips wetted to a forked and rough tongue that sought dinner.

Breaking suddenly to the clearing, Louis saw the sword immediately, the blade glistening tiredly to the effort and many times of play as Harry seemed to shove him forward before diving out of the way of the scaly, glistening creature that broke through the tree line opposite.

“Harry!” Louis shouted as he watched Harry roll from the way of a giant paw that smacked to the ground, Louis’ feet giving out beneath him as he began scooting backward on his bum and hands before his finger finally touched to the hilt of the sword he’d temporarily allowed himself to forget about.

It was terrifying looking into the face of death, the slit of the iris resonating a familiar presence as Louis’ breathing seemed to stop completely, the scales of the head of the dragon accentuating the death and danger littering those ruby eyes as lips again parted to a forceful roar that shook the clearing and rattled Louis completely through.

“Don’t be afraid, Louis!” Harry called as Louis gave him a fleeting look of terror, Ginger’s slight figure meddling through the leaves catching Louis off guard for a brief second as the dragon lunged.

Without a chance to scream or draw his breath, Louis raised the sword before him as he was shoved to his back, a large paw pinning his body to the ground as the teeth bared inches from his face before a strangled, and gargling groan elicited from the creature perched above him heavily. Gripping tighter about the hilt of the sword, Louis allowed his eyes trace open as he caught sight of his hands buried to the roof of the mouth of the dragon, the ruby eyes filtering darkly to black as great lids fluttered to hide the fire that would forever be silenced.

Jumping to Harry’s loud whoop of victory, Louis’ hands began to shake as the dragon slumped before falling completely, the body seeming to melt and droop before bursting to a million rays of sunlight and dead and dried leaves that scattered and blew to the wind that raced through the clearing in announcing of her presence to the scene of what fantasy had just occurred.

“You did it!” Harry praised loudly as he rushed Louis again, Louis’ hand dropping the large _stick_ as the image of the sword bled from his mind, his stomach and lap covered completely to leaves as he brushed them wordlessly away with wide eyes. “You did so good, Louis! First time and all!”

Louis looked to Harry in shock as Harry toppled to top of him, both boys rolling about through the leaves as Harry laughed loudly in joy, his body settling back to his feet as Louis sat in dazed confusion before him.

“ _What_ just happened?”

“You beat the dragon! About time as well, been stealing all of Ginger’s mice!” Harry crowed as Ginger’s ears perked to mention of her name, her eyes lowered to slits in exhaustion of the young boy she was nearly unable to keep up with.

“I didn’t know we had dragons.” Louis answered stupidly as Harry’s face parted and began to beam to the proud smile he wore.

“We have a lot of pests about, nothing you can’t take care of I’m sure! Come on, I can show you the others-” Harry clutched to Louis’ hand as he stood and tugged, Louis’ tiny intake of breath before the slight shout falling from his lips drawing Harry still as his face screwed tightly. “Louis?”

“It’s nothing.” Louis assured quickly as he snatched his hand away and fought to hide it to the sleeve of his jacket, Harry squatting instantly before him again as he drew Louis’ hand to his chest, his face crumpling immediately.

“I’m so sorry Louis, I didn’t know and I’d forgotten!”

“Harry, it’s fine-”

“It’s not! I hurt you!” Harry’s eyes seemed to grow glassy as he gently touched Louis’ palm with his tiny, warm fingers, his nose brushing to the bandage as he lightly kissed to Louis’ knuckles, Louis falling to stone as his stomach nearly flew away. “I forgot you fell into another thistle earlier-”

“You were watching me? Again?” Louis breathed in exasperation as Harry nodded quickly.

“I thought I would jump out and surprise you, but you looked like you were conflicted with something and you walked away and never came back.” Harry looked up from Louis’ palm as a small tear slid his cheek. “Until now I suppose, and I made you fight the dragon all by yourself with a damaged hand! I’m an awful friend!”

“I don’t think you’re awful.” Louis praised lowly as he scooted forward on his knees, Harry watching him apprehensively as he sucked his lips behind his teeth. “I think you could do with telling me that you’re watching me from now on though, yeah?”

“Maybe.” Harry smirked blearily as Louis shook his head, his eyes tracing over Harry’s face smudged slightly with dirt.

“I _knew_ you were real.”

Harry frowned quickly before looking to the abrupt flickering of the light perched next to the backdoor of the house that sat looming in shadow of the ever sinking sun. Ignoring it as he knew he shouldn’t, Harry turned back to Louis slowly.

“Of course I’m real-”

“But you ran in the book shop!” Louis accused as Harry shrugged with a shit-eating grin.

“I was busy?”

“But you don’t go to primary, so you couldn’t have been!” Louis narrowed his eyes to slits as he looked Harry’s face over passionately, the shadow playing to his features, as Harry was rendered even more breathtaking. “Why don’t you go to primary anyways? How old are you?”

“About six.” Harry hinted obnoxiously as he again looked to the light flickering in a panic.

“About? Harry-”

“Louis, promise you’ll come back.” Harry blurted quickly as he leaned forward, his breath washing across Louis’ lips as Louis sat in stunned silence.

“You _want_ me to come back?”

“Of course!” Harry chirped as he stood and helped Louis to his feet, Louis taking notice for the first time up close to the tiny dimples that held to either of Harry’s cheeks in the most perfect of ways. “Who else will keep the monsters away?”

“But you’re not always-”

“I am.” Harry assured as he stepped to Louis slowly, his eyes crinkled lovingly as he observed Louis in full light of who he’d always thought he’d wait for, and who he’d thought Louis was the first time he’d seen the spark of a dreamer to his eye as he’d walked a tightrope between two cliffs of a thrashing ocean.

Louis was nearly about to reprimand Harry for not coming out to play if he’d always been at home, when he was drawn silent, Harry’s soft lips pressed to his own as his eyes widened. Never stepping away, Louis took in Harry leaned sweetly to his front, his fingers still worrying about Louis’ bandaged palm as his eyelashes fluttered to his cheeks. Without thought, Louis pressed himself slightly forward only to feel Harry’s warmth leave him, a loud breath falling from his lips as he and Harry watched each other in measured time and dimming light. Neither boy could do anything else other than stare to the other in wonder to the tingle that rushed their lips and prickled to the skin of their spines, their skin catching fire as goose bumps trailed their bodies silently; their _first_ kiss of anyone in that _world_ , had come to be with each other.

Louis was stood transfixed as Harry smiled devilishly, his own mind seeming to race as a blur the sound of the backdoor opening and feet touching to the deck quickly drew both boy’s attention and caused them to step hesitantly away from the other.

“Harry, you’ve been out long enough-” The woman cut short as she squinted to make out the other shape in the dark, her lips parting sweetly as she waved. “Hello! I’m sorry, I didn’t know Harry had a friend over-”

“I was just leaving!” Louis helped as he smiled and waved a hand shyly, Harry looking to him with wide eyes as he stuck his bottom lip out to pout.

“You can come in-”

“I have to go.” Louis rushed as the woman looked on in curiosity.

“You’re welcome to come in!”

Louis shook his head kindly as he looked to Harry a final time, their eyes fighting to never lose the other as Harry fled to the call of his name from the woman ushering him in.

“ _Come back_.” Harry seemed to whimper to Louis’ retreating back as Louis tossed him a final look over his shoulder before tearing off into the trees, Harry frowning to the woman who simply shrugged and waved him inside to the comfort and warmth of the fire roaring within in wait of his return.

Yet trampling and crashing through the growing dark, Louis’ lungs felt as if they were nonexistent, but it didn’t matter. The light coursing his veins couldn’t be vanished by the diminishing sun as he crashed through the undergrowth and the piles of leaves that still lingering from the death of the now defeated dragon. Breaking to the main road, Louis pumped his legs faster, the call of the chorus of a thousand birds overhead in welcoming the night seeming to elicit a type of freedom to swell within his chest as he gave a shout of joy, his fingers curling tightly to the tingling and the flutter of his stomach as he reveled to Harry’s lips still pressed warmly to his own. He couldn’t believe it had happened, but in looking to the lilacs and pinks bleeding the sky to the fleeing of the coming storm that longed to shut out the sun for another night’s rest of dusk, the in-between of the coming darkness and the fleeing light, Louis _knew_ Harry was real.

Fighting to his street, Louis didn’t mind that his face was drenched in sweat and that Lou was going to be mad if she’d somehow taken the time to discover he was gone, because in his tiny world, Louis possessed everything he needed to insure that he was going to be happy. Louis knew he would no longer sulk to being alone on the bus, or sit at home simply watching over Lottie because Jay was never there to pay him mind unless to try and convince him that he was crazy. It was fast and stupid and fleeing, but for that moment Louis had Harry, and that’s all he wanted! Stepping to the garden of his house, Louis was reaching for the doorknob when the door was ripped away and Lou’s terror-stricken face was placed before him.

“Shit, Louis! I was going to lose my head if your mum came back to find you gone with Tom and I sitting with our thumbs up our arses! What’s _wrong_ with you?”

“He’s real.” Louis answered breathily and simple with a small smile as Lou took notice to the blush lining his cheeks and the small, private smile gracing his lips as she bit back the rest of her words, her eyes turning to the street laid quietly before them as the flash of a body to the edge of the trees of the main road leading to the village fled from her vision. Turning to Louis, as he seemed to sway his way to his room past her without a further word, Lou turned to Tom who leaned from the front room doorway.

“Who’s real?”

“That boy Louis’ smitten with.” Lou answered breathily as she looked back to the street; unsure of whether _she’d_ even seen him. “Harry.”

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“While still in bed my thoughts turn towards you my _Immortal Beloved_ , now and then happy, then sad again, waiting whether fate might answer us - I can only live either wholly with you or not at all, yes I have resolved to stray about in the distance, until I can fly into your arms, and send my soul embraced by you into the realm of the Spirits - O God, why do I have to separate from someone whom I love so much?”

 

 

[A Million Roads To Nowhere](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCDYI1o_bl8)

  


The world seemed to spin slowly before Louis’ eyes as he blinked heavily to the daze fogging his brain and rendering him speechless. It was a beautiful thing, the feeling swelling to his chest as his lips again curled upward to the thought of Harry’s wide gaze searching to his own in the realization of what he’d just done. The village was bustling and small through the fog and mist of the midafternoon light that filtered lazily from the clouds fighting to part overhead. The heat still lingered to his chin from Harry’s breath; Harry’s touch still flitting about the bandage peeking from his palm that was nestled within the sleeve of his coat.

It was a funny thing to feel in that moment, surrounded by Liam, Zayn, Niall and Josh as they all laughed and shoved at one another to that private little hill away from the chaos of the other children playing, because Louis was displaced. Curling his fingers about one another, Louis allowed his eyes slip closed as he longed for Harry’s arms to clasp tightly to his waist, Harry’s loud laughter ringing throughout his ears as he watched Louis in pride to Louis’ knees clattering together in sheer terror to the beast that roared through his imagination, filling his ears with a deafening sound that drowned out Liam’s annoyed call before Louis was flying to his side from his sitting position to sprawl in the wet grass.

“What’s the matter with you?” Liam snapped, as Louis seemed to levitate back to earth, his face instantly pulled in disgust as he sat quickly away from the wet that seeped to his jumper sleeve beneath his coat.

“Nothing’s the matter-”

“You’re been bonkers since you got on the bus this morning!” Niall accused with a pout as Josh lay a chin to his shoulder gently.

“I have not!” Louis snipped as he gathered his knees beneath his chin, Zayn bumping to his side as he squeezed between Liam and Louis tightly.

“You’ve been a bit out of it, mate, everything alright though?” Louis rolled his eyes as he opened his mouth to answer and tell them all off before Zayn was lightly picking Louis’ hand to his chest and tracing Lou’s bandage job. “What happened?”

“It looks like it hurts.” Josh piped in as Niall began munching to an old toffee he delightedly discovered to his coat pocket.

“I just fell on the way home from the bus.” Louis shrugged as he smiled to his friends sweetly. “It’s nothing, I swear-”

“You’re not telling us something.” Liam spoke up as he looked to Louis warily from around Zayn’s side, his eyes wide with worry as he bit to his bottom lip. “Is it anything bad? We wouldn’t be mad!”

Louis’ cheeks instantly flushed as he frowned and began picking to the bandage of his palm carefully, his teeth grinding to one another as he thought of anyone else finding Harry other than himself. While it was granted that Harry wasn’t kept in the house all of the time, Louis couldn’t stand the thought of anyone having that crazy adventure with Harry other than himself, and it set something odd that felt a bit like _jealously_ to the base of his spine, licking a fire to the back of his ribs and curling his toes within his shoes.

“I don’t have anything to tell!” Louis snarled as he stood and brushed the back of his trousers free of the wet grass that clung, turning sharply on his heel as Zayn sighed.

“Louis, come back!”

“Don’t be mad, Louis, you don’t have to tell us!”

“Yes he does!” Liam snipped as Louis quickly dug his hands to the pockets of his coat and began trudging through the small gathering of trees, his feet carrying him lightly across the slow moving stream as the voices faded off behind him, Louis’ eyes slowly tracing the branches waving overhead as he envision the dragon’s magnificent body gliding as water through the tethered fingers of the trees above; and he couldn’t believe his eyes.

Louis couldn’t believe his luck in finding Harry, and Louis couldn’t understand what it was about Harry in particular that drew him back, but he knew it wasn’t something that would ever go away. Turning his eyes to the playground that slowly crept forward, Louis longed to see nothing more than Harry’s lithe body twisting through the others as he waved Louis along to whatever crazy adventure he’d thought up. Smiling gently, Louis’ chest ached to be back within those trees, leaning to Harry’s touch as Harry’s cheeks dented with the dimples that told of the childlike innocence radiating through to grace all things dark with the light of something so pure, it was nearly inevitable to sustain.

“Louis!” A voice called suddenly as Louis blearily looked toward the girl rushing him, his eyes quickly widening as he looked for a path to flee. “Louis!”

Mumbling lowly to himself, Louis fought to the thick of the children seeming to huddle and radiate about each other in search of heat as _Eleanor_ drew closer.

“Louis, wait!” Eleanor screeched as other boys around looked to Louis in sympathy as Louis ducked and weaved away, a body suddenly moving to block his way as he looked to the face of Danielle smirking proudly, the tight ringlets of her hair gracing her shoulders and rounded face in the wind that was quickly gathering speed to the storm due at any moment.

“Louis, Eleanor wants to talk to you?” Danielle informed Louis in annoyance as Eleanor drew closer, Louis’ mood instantly turning to shit as his eyebrows gathered tightly.

“Isn’t that the problem-”

“Louis, didn’t you hear me calling for you?” Eleanor seemed to chirp to Louis’ ear as she threw herself to his back, her skinny arms wrapping about Louis’ neck as she giggled in his ear. “I was hoping we would get to have time to talk because class was called back in-”

“I’m busy!” Louis griped as he shoved Eleanor’s arms from about his neck, looking to her over his shoulder with a forceful frown as Eleanor crossed her arms and began to pout.

“You’re not doing anything! Why won’t you at least pay attention to me?”

“I don’t like you!” Louis seemed to shout as Mrs. Austin quickly made her way to their little spat that was gathering attention along with the screams and calls of joy to the rumble of thunder that seemed to vibrate the tiny primary perched to the hill.

“Hey now, let’s not fight, yeah?” The woman prodded as she laced a hand to Louis’ shoulder lightly to turn him toward the backdoor of the primary that was welcoming the children in out of the mist starting to collect to the grass.

“Louis, you’re such a baby!” Danielle snapped as she slung an arms to Eleanor’s hips as Eleanor began to tear quickly, Louis screwing his face to both girls in disinterest as he turned to the shirt of the understanding teacher that lead him to the path of the other children.

“You’re not a baby.” The woman soothed quietly as she rubbed to Louis’ back in comfort, her eyes locking to the bandage about his hand as her lips parted to question before she was utterly silenced to Liam, Zayn, Niall and Josh trudging through the door before them _completely_ covered in mud.

Looking to Louis expectantly, the woman rolled her eyes to Louis’ shrug of defiance of ever tattling before pointing him in the direction of the classroom. Yawning in indifference to Eleanor’s disgusted look thrown to him from across the room, Louis took his seat quietly as he began to pack his rucksack in preparation of meeting the bus and _Harry_ -

“You don’t have to tell us, y’know?” Zayn nearly whispered as Louis looked to him carefully, a smile unable to stay from his face as he took in Zayn’s mussed hair along to the mud splattered to his cheeks and neck.

“I know.” Louis nodded to Zayn’s understanding as Zayn began shoving random items to his own rucksack, his lips parted in a goofy grin as Josh placed dirty hands to either of Louis’ cheeks before cackling wildly in mild delight.

“Bit of footie then, boys?” Josh mocked as he twirled an invisible mustache; Zayn nodding quickly as he looked to the opened door that the other children seemed to be fleeing from to the busses sat in wait.

“Liam won’t like it, but you know Niall is willing to get a bit dirty.” The two high-fived before Zayn turned expectant eyes to Louis, Louis avoiding his gaze as he took his time in zipping up his pack, dreading the question he knew was to come. “Louis?”

“I dunno? Maybe.”

“So, that’s a no.” Josh cut in wearily as he flopped across Zayn’s desk.

“No, it’s a maybe.” Louis grumbled as he swung his rucksack to his shoulders, his eyes turning sharply to Zayn as he nearly recoiled to the accusing look marring Zayn’s intricately detailed expression.

“Why don’t you like us anymore?” Zayn seemed to whimper as Louis frowned, looking between Zayn’s muddied jumper and face to Josh’s hair clumped together with grass and dirt before slowly melding to Liam and Niall who stood patiently to the doorway as they too waited for an answer.

“I _do_ like you, though.” Louis stammered as his fingers began to wring the straps of his rucksack tightly. “I’m just-”

“Busy.” Zayn deadpanned as he frowned further. “Yeah, we get it.”

“It’s not that I don’t like you!” Louis sighed in exasperation, making for the door with bowed head before he was yanked back to Zayn’s hand ripping to his rucksack.

“Then what is it, yeah? You’ve not been hanging out with us at all like you used to!”

“Things have just come up, alright? You’re my best mates and nothing would change that.” Louis’ throat ran dry as he looked between Zayn and Josh standing to one side as Liam and Niall watched him closely from the other.

“I’m not sure you’re being honest.” Liam seemed to whisper as Mrs. Austin poked her head about the doorway, her eyes drawn to the sight of the other boys staring Louis down menacingly.

“Is everything alright then, boys?” She questioned lowly as Zayn gripped to Josh’s arm to rip him around Louis, his tiny, thick eyebrows pulled angrily.

“Fine.” Zayn uttered as he and the other boys filed from the room, Louis looking to Mrs. Austin with bleary eyes before ducking his head and nearly running from the crime scene.

Ignoring the calls of the understanding woman reaching out to him in concern, Louis stared to the toes of his shoes working to the pave as he stepped to the mist that was turning to fatter raindrops, his hair instantly sticking to the back of his neck before his head was snapping up to his name being called.

“Louis!”

Looking to Jay and Lottie huddled to the car idling by the curb, Louis frowned in confusion before he was glancing briefly to the boys huddled to the bus window, watching him in indifference and anger as Louis felt his heart drop to his ass. Again ducking his head, Louis slowly approached the waiting car before flinging the door open to toss himself and his pack to the passenger seat, his fingers fumbling to buckle himself in as he immediately faced out the window in a breath of sadness as Jay looked in disgust to the teacher wringing her hands nervously to the front of her jumper, huddled from the rain.

“Hello to you too, mum, my day at primary was fantastic!” Jay replied sarcastically as Lottie began clapping her hands to a silly song that played lowly to the speakers of the car.

“Hi.” Louis replied simply as his fingers twisted to his trouser leg, his thoughts consumed and torn to the fact that he still wanted to keep Harry secret, yet he didn’t want to lose his mates that had literally been a staple of his life since he’d been born.

“I got off of work early, and I thought we might make some tea and watch a few films? Unless you have homework, yeah?” Jay slowly adjusted the car to drive as they cut before the busses slowly idling behind, Louis shrugging slightly.

“I don’t really care, mum.”

“What is wrong with you today, grumpy? Did something happen?” Jay seemed to sigh in exasperation to Louis’ sour mood as Louis looked to her briefly before returning back to the twisting road that wound past his window.

“It’s nothing-”

“Louis, if you need to talk about something, you don’t have to worry of trying to tell me because I’ll listen.” Jay’s hand reached out to poke to Louis’ thigh gently as Louis frowned to her in accusation.

“Like Harry?” Jay’s face crossed immediately to the mention of the name.

“It’s different-”

“It’s not, and you’re so _angry_ about it.” Louis muttered as he tucked his arms against his chest, Jay looking to him with a cold expression before tightening her grip to the steering wheel as they drew closer home.

“I’m not _angry_ , I’m concerned.” Jay measured her words carefully as she turned to their isolated road and began slowly creeping past the brush as Louis’ eyes widened to a small face peeking from the brambles.

Completely tuning out the bullshit Jay was preaching, Louis’ hands pressed tightly to the glass as his breath fogged his view of Harry’s sad and drooped face that silently watched him pass, Louis’ stomach twisting to knots as he gave a slight wave. In noticing the other’s recognition, Harry began jumping and running through the branches and tall grass to keep in pace of the slow-moving vehicle, Louis smiling gently as Harry tossed his head back with a gentle laugh to his nearly tripping and sprawling to his face in his hurried movement of waving frantically to Louis in excitement. Louis never had the heart to tell Harry differently that he wouldn’t be able to play, so he simply watched in measured awe and adoration as the car slowed to turn to his street, Harry pausing only for a second to notice that Louis wasn’t going to be leaping from the car to jump to his arms, before he was quietly and dejectedly sinking back to the dark shade of the trees; like a _dream_.

“-Have you heard a thing I said? Louis!” Louis sighed sadly as he watched the houses of his street pass him by, his head craning about on his neck in vain attempt to catch glimpse of Harry possibly sneaking after the car to come break him free.

“Yeah.”

“No you’ve not.” Jay snapped as she swung the car to their driveway, slamming the gear into park as she turned to lay into Louis a new one, before she was gasping and ripping Louis to her chest. “Oh my God, baby, your hand! What the hell happened?”

“It’s nothing!” Louis begged as he fought to pull away, Jay never ceasing grip as she turned over Louis’ palm in her hand.

“Who bandaged you up? Did Lou know and not tell me?” Louis was stilled from his fighting escape as Jay fixed a stern hold beneath his chin and locked his gaze within her own, her cheeks blotching red with anger as she pointed to the front door. “Get inside, I’ll be calling Lou-”

“No, mum! I made her not tell!” Louis pleaded as Jay simply shook her head and went about unstrapping Lottie from her booster seat, Louis’ heart pounding roughly to the base of his throat as he thought of being sick. “Mum!”

“Inside, Louis!” Jay barked as she and Lottie stepped from the car and nearly raced up the front steps to the door, Louis quickly straggling behind as he fell to Jay’s wake.

“Mum, I made her promise not to tell! You can’t be mad at Lou, she took care of me!”

“Then how did you get it if Lou wasn’t watching you? That’s what I pay her for, is to watch you! And if you’re being harmed and _bandaged_ , she’s obviously not doing her goddamn job!” Louis tugged hard to Jay’s shirt as he tried as best as he could to stop her hand from ever reaching the phone, Lottie balanced to Jay’s hip clapping in excitement to the things going on that she’d never understand.

“I did it to myself!” Louis finally shouted as Jay’s fingers froze to the tiny buttons whirring warmly.

“To yourself-”

“I was in the woods and I fell on a thistle weed and the thorns got caught in my hand.” Louis swallowed quickly as he tangled his fingers together in nervous anticipation. “Lou finally made me patch up and she took really good care of me, and you can’t fire her because my hand could’ve come off!”

“What were you doing in the woods?” Jay questioned in confusion as Louis looked quickly to his shoes in embarrassment, longing to forever keep his secret as he literally heard the pieces lock into place in his mother’s mind. “You were looking for that boy-”

“He’s real.” Louis affronted, as he looked to Jay’s face, completely solid and cold in drawn anger as she nearly boiled beneath the surface.

“I told you to stay out of those woods!”

“He’s not a bad person-”

“He’s not real, Louis!” Jay shouted as she slammed the phone back to the counter, shrugging Lottie quickly back up her hip as Louis recoiled again from the words he’d never thought to hear uttered again.

“I’ve seen him-”

“It’s your imagination, and don’t think I don’t know that you’re having problems with the other boys!” Louis’ face sunk as Jay stared to him hotly. “You thought I wouldn’t notice them all storming out before you and then you sulking along behind? You’re distancing yourself and you’re sad, and I’m worried! It’s like you think I don’t notice that this little boy is all you think about! I’m not daft-”

“He’s real!” Louis screamed in exasperated desperation as he slammed his rucksack to the floor beside him, his hands balled tightly to fists as he turned on his heel for his room.

“Do _not_ walk away from me! Louis!”

Swiping the tears from his cheeks with the sleeve of his jumper, Louis was sure to allow the bedroom door slam behind himself as he fought to place his dresser in front of it, disallowing Jay any kind of access to further ridicule what Louis wasn’t to be told differently of.

Harry was a real, living, breathing person, and Jay was just too damn stubborn to realize that Louis was happy in something that didn’t involve a bit of normal. Sure, Harry was weird and imaginative, but maybe that’s what Louis needed! He had his mates, and of course they were the best things that had ever happened, but where did it leave Louis went they divided into pairs and he was left watching from the outskirts, wishing that there was someone else there to share the seat on the bus, or roll him down a hill? Flinging to his stomach on top of his perfectly pressed duvet, Louis buried his face to the soft fibers as he began to hopelessly weep.

What was wrong with him? Why was he so sad? Why did it seem like everything was so shitty and wrong, and why was Jay so goddamn set against letting him have a new friend? It wasn’t as though Harry was going to hurt anyone, and Harry certainly wasn’t hurting Louis! Louis was in no way scared of Harry, so why did it seem that everyone else was? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to be told that he was crazy, or that he was imagining things, because Louis knew he absolutely wasn’t; for Christ’s sake, he could still _feel_ Harry’s breath to his upper lip, and that wasn’t something you could just make up, _was it_?

  


Rolling from bed a short time later to stand and swipe again to his nose and eyes with the sleeve of his jumper, Louis stripped and crawled into his most comfortable clothes that wouldn’t make him look completely as he felt, his hand throbbing to the exertion of attempting to again move the dresser from his way as he proudly stepped down the hallway and toward the front door.

“Where are you going?” Jay called from the kitchen table as she balanced Lottie to her knee, feeding her something nasty and mushy that Louis didn’t bother to further investigate as he picked up his pace. “Louis, I never said you could leave this house, especially after how you’ve treated me!”

“Try and stop me.” Louis seemed to whisper to himself as he gripped the doorknob tightly to throw the door from his way, Jay’s angry calls following him nearly down the entire street as his feet flew to take him as far away as they possibly could, his mind and heart racing simultaneously as he fought to understand.

Why was he stuck like this? Why couldn’t he be a happy, normal and oblivious child to the things that were sad and dark around him? It wasn’t as if he wasn’t aware that Jay was bitter over the divorce still, and that every time she looked to Louis and observed his growing independence that she saw more and more of Louis’ father burning to his eyes. Pumping his legs faster, Louis seemed to dive to the brambles and branches as a car turned to the end of the shaded road, the quiet engulfing his ears seeming to calm the thoughts flying through his head as he was sucked into another world.

In this world, Harry existed, and Louis wasn’t a conflicted mess. In this world, Louis wasn’t constantly sad and trying to figure why he was never at peace within himself because everything seemed too hopeless and lost. Moving branches from his way and stepping over fallen logs, Louis found it was easier to find the clearing better, even through the dark and thick of the clouds overhead that rumbled to accentuate the fluctuating of the weather churning dangerously. Again holding his breath and hoping that he wouldn’t find the fortress sealed tightly to only keep him out, Louis nearly cried out in pain to find the clearing empty and desolate.

It was as if Louis was punched to the throat, his eyes squeezing tightly in disdain to the weakness that flooded his body in the longing that he destined to fulfill as he turned a wary eye to the house that instantly sought away the dark clouds looming over his head. The curtains were opened and a light was on inside, Louis completely unaware of what he was doing until he found his body and feet carrying himself up the tall expanse of stairs leading to the back deck. Unable to believe what he’d just done, Louis looked over his shoulder to the clearing below as he marveled to how large it truly was, the vision of himself curled beneath the great, glistening body of the dragon as it fell to his word ringing through to his eyes as he made up his mind that he wouldn’t leave without first trying.

Pacing quickly before the backdoor, Louis’ hand rose and fell several times before he connected lightly once as his heart flew to choke him up, his nerves settling after there was never an answer after a few minutes wait.

“I can’t do this.” Louis muttered to himself as he thought of walking through the front door of his own house with his tail tucked between his legs to the yelling that was bound to happen, without even comfort that he’d spent a stupid, tiny second with Harry.

Sighing and digging his hands to the front pockets of his jeans, Louis turned back to the staircase that would lead to the clearing, before there was a frantic scratching behind him as he turned in time to find the back door wrenching from the way of a small body clad in a jumper that was entirely too big and a pair of sports shorts.

“Louis!”

“I’m sorry, it was rude to just come up here-”

“No, Louis you’re always welcome! I just didn’t think you’d come over today, so I came inside!” Harry face peeled in the sweetest smiles as Louis gazed to the dimples that dented Harry’s tiny cheeks in this way that sent him entirely jelly behind the knees.

“I’d come everyday if I could.” Louis blurted, his cheeks instantly staining red as Harry seemed to smile gently, his hand resting to the backdoor as he openly looked Louis over before nodding to the house sat behind him.

“D’you-”

“You’re not supposed to just _answer_ the door!” A voice snapped as Harry’s expression dropped, his wide eyes rolling for effect as Louis watched the tall, dark haired girl approach to Harry’s flank as she tucked a long dark strand behind her ear. “What kind of person would knock from the back, anyways?”

“It’s just Louis, so go away, Gemma!” Harry snapped as he turned and fixed Gemma to a nasty look as she watched Louis carefully.

“This is Louis?”

“Yes!” Harry snapped as he made to shove Gemma away, Gemma barreling past as she held a hand confidently to Louis’ front.

“I’m Gemma.”

“Louis-”

“Just leave your shoes by the back door.” Gemma interrupted, as she too looked Louis over, Louis blushing further as he stepped from his shoes right then and there to stand to the soggy deck in only his socks.

“Go away you pest!” Harry snapped as he gave another shove to Gemma’s side, Gemma’s hand catching him by the side of the head as Harry managed to kick to her thigh before she was gone to another room. “I’m sorry Louis, she’s quite stupid most of the time, but harmless.”

Louis nodded as Harry stepped from his way and offered Louis inside, Louis cautiously making forward before he was bathed in warmth. Looking about the large kitchen laid masterfully before him, Louis couldn’t believe his eyes to all the fine china, stainless steel and wide, large cabinets that lined and filled the kitchen that seemed fit for any chef.

“Your house is beautiful.” Louis sighed as he ran a finger gently to the edge of the darkened granite of the countertop, Harry chuckling lightly as he closed and locked the backdoor to the onslaught of rain that fell loudly beyond.

“This is only the kitchen, and I suppose it looks like every other kitchen.” Louis was silent as he completely disagreed, his embarrassment only growing further to his ogling of both Harry and his kitchen as he thought of his modest house that would never compare.

“I suppose.” Louis turned to smile to Harry before nearly falling back into the cabinets, Harry’s nose nearly touching his own as Harry’s eyebrows pulled together tightly, a tiny wrinkle falling to his forehead.

“You’ve been crying.” Harry mumbled lowly as he reached a soft finger to trace beneath Louis’ eyes tenderly, the touch nearly never meeting to Louis’ skin.

“I haven’t.” Louis replied defiantly as he moved from beneath Harry’s touch, rounding the kitchen island before he was sticking his head to another room. “Where’s your bedroom in this massive house?”

“Louis, what’s wrong?” Harry questioned lowly as his fingers curled tightly to the back of Louis’ shirt, Louis simply shaking his head as he plastered a smile to his lips and looked to Harry carefully over his shoulder.

“Nothing-”

“Don’t lie.” Harry demanded as he spun Louis slowly, Louis avoiding his gaze completely as he smiled wider.

“I’m fine, honestly.” Harry made to open his mouth in protest before he was quieted to the tingle traveling his arm as Louis wound their fingers together, his lips smacking together tightly as he squinted to Louis’ distraction.

“It’s this way.” Harry seemed to growl as Louis was tugged along in his wake, his feet sloppily tripping over the stairs he wasn’t familiar to as the pair broke to a second story hallway and a loud music permeating from a door opened to the left. “Don’t look, Gemma’s room is a mess of this _hideous_ pink.”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh as Harry hurried him past, Louis checking in briefly to find Gemma laid to her back on the middle of the floor on the phone, her hands waving excitedly as she cackled to her friend of something complicated. Following to Harry’s tug of his hand, Louis’ eyes traced the pictures lined perfectly on the walls, baby pictures of both Harry and Gemma smiling back to him as Louis couldn’t help but giggle to a picture of baby Harry in the middle of large bubble bath, his sparse hair stood up on his head as he grinned toothlessly to the bubbles spattered to his chin.

Finally turning into what Louis found was Harry’s room, his eyes grew further as he craned his head back to the little nook of the house that simply stole his breath away. The ceiling was high and vaulted, many abject things swinging from the exposed beams to tell of Harry’s tall imagination as lots of small, fluttering papers cradled to the wide, expansive walls. Letting his hand slip from Harry’s as Harry began flourishing around in a fit to clean his mess without Louis’ knowledge. Traveling the many thoughts and dreams Harry had already encountered, Louis’ eyes trained to the bed as he looked to two familiar figures, one being of Ginger as she looked to him expectantly before flicking her tail and tucking her head back to her paws as she began snoozing lightly, the other of a creature Louis had only thought of since the first time he’d seen it. Walking to stand to the frame, Louis picked up the stuffed, toy dragon as he allowed his fingers to trace the indentions of the perfect scales and the large, button eyes that held dangerously to a long snout and a forked and sharp tongue. Frowning to how miniscule and unthreatening the concept of the imaginary dragon stemming from a _toy_ truly was, Louis jumped to Ginger’s wide, angry eyes watching him coldly.

“’M sorry.” Louis mumbled as Ginger simply stood and laid with her back to him, Louis carefully placing the toy back to it’s place to her side as Harry tossed himself longly to the bed before Louis.

“You’re the guest, don’t apologize to her! She’s just cranky this afternoon.” Harry poked to Ginger’s butt stiffly as she mewled in frustration before leaping to the floor and slinking out the door, Louis looking after her with a drawn look as he focused back to Harry.

“Cats are always so moody.”

“Cats are the best, though.” Harry sighed happily as he flopped to his back to the middle of his bed, Louis looking about awkwardly before he sat lightly to the edge, his fingers crawling across the duvet to touch again to the tail of the stuffed dragon that Louis nearly expected to turn round and snap his finger off.

“Harry?”

“Hmm?” Louis caught his breath quietly as Harry sat sloppily, his smile lopsided and lazy as his hair stood about his head messily to his hand stretched behind him to support his weight, eyes trained to Louis happily.

“How did you do that?” Harry frowned briefly before he broke into ruckus laughter that brought a loud sigh from Gemma’s room before there was a loud slam of her bedroom door.

“Do what, exactly?”

“This.” Louis picked up the stuffed dragon again as he looked it over quickly before peeking back to Harry. “The dragon. How did you make the dragon so… real?”

“I didn’t.” Harry shrugged as he flopped back to his back, his hand reaching out to snatch the dragon from Louis’ fingers as Louis took his turn to frown.

“But, it was out there- in the woods, it was chasing us!”

“Well, yeah.” Harry rolled to his side as he propped himself up by his elbow, his smile wry as Louis struggled to understand. “I suppose I had the idea and the image of the dragon, but it takes two of the same imagination to see the same things, right?”

Louis was stumped as his mouth opened to shut again, Harry chuckling lowly as he relaxed his head to top of the stuffed toy being used now as a pillow.

“So-”

“So technically, I didn’t do anything.” Louis eyes widened as Harry smiled further. “You did.”

Louis sat quietly as Harry closed his eyes to the comfort and easiness he felt in being with Louis, his arms stretched tightly above his head as he gave a loud yawn and settled for a nap that he’d longed for and had almost been settled to when Louis had shown. Sucking his lips between his teeth, Louis looked Harry over sweetly as he felt his cheeks grow warm, the fuzzy feeling fighting behind his bellybutton, as Louis suddenly felt fidgety and uncomfortable. Standing and looking to the large, picture window just a ways from the foot of Harry’s bed, Louis walked quickly to press his fingers to the cool pane of the glass, his eyes traveling to the clearing beneath that was barely visible before he was gasping and hopping excitedly on the balls of his feet.

“You can see my house from here!” Harry sat quickly as the sleep fled his mind, nearly knocking Louis over into the wall as the pair stood tightly together to where Louis’ finger pointed in concentration. “Do you see it? It’s that roof there!”

“I didn’t realize you lived so close.” Harry muttered as he looked to Louis quickly and smiled, his dimples knocking the breath completely from Louis’ chest as Louis further blushed. “Next, I’ll have to come to your house.”

“My house isn’t nearly as nice.” Louis sighed as he again turned back to Harry’s room, his eyes fixed to a large, floor to ceiling bookshelf as his fingers began to trace the drawings he passed as Harry watched him quietly go.

“You don’t have to have a fancy house, Louis-”

“I know.” Louis cut in as he smiled to Harry gently over his shoulder, his shoulder shrugging simply as he stopped before the many rows of books as his fingers traced their aged and worn spines, some looking as if they’d just been purchased, while others seemed to have been on the exact shelf for hundreds of years. “You have so many.”

“I like the ones with the pictures the best.” Harry added as a hand touched to Louis’ lower back softly, Louis’ fingers yanking to what looked to be the oldest of all the books as he turned it over slowly in his hands.

“What book is this?”

“I dunno, really. I stole it out of my mum’s library but I don’t think she’s noticed it gone yet.” Louis curled his toes within his socks to the soft, plush carpet beneath him as Harry leaned warmly to his side, his breath fanning to Louis’ fingers as he struggled to read of the title. “ _Historical Love Letters_.”

“Harry, I had no idea.” Louis giggled as Harry shoved to him with his shoulder, his nose crinkled as he leaned away.

“I don’t read them!”

“Then why is this the book you stole?” Louis stuck his tongue out to Harry’s defiant face as his fingers traced the thick pages to find one page marked and poking out from the rest, his curiosity stealing the best of him as Harry fled back to his bed to toss himself face first to the duvet. “This one is marked.”

“Mm, it’s called Immortal something.”

“ _Immortal Beloved_.” Louis corrected as he sat simply to the middle of Harry’s carpet, Ginger slowly making her way back through the bedroom door as he leapt to Harry’s back and made her place comfortably, watching Louis through slit eyes deceptively.

“It’s almost in a different language.” Harry promised as Louis looked to him quickly.

“You’ve read these? There’s about three of them, and they sound complicated!”

“I’ve had Gemma read them to me.” Harry laid to his cheek as he smiled to Louis mischievously, Louis rolling his eyes in response.

“ _-Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved_ -”  
“ _Ever thine,_ _ ever mine, ever ours_.” Harry offered as Louis looked to him with a tiny air of disbelief, his fingers tracing the words of the page as Harry smiled to him toothily. “That’s my favorite one.”

“It’s beautiful.” Louis whispered as he turned his eyes back to the book laid out in his lap, his mind struggling to connect with what’d he just read. “But what does it mean?”

“I dunno.” Harry breathed as he shoved Ginger from his back, swinging his legs over the side of the bed as he watched Louis closely. “Gemma said it was about a man that was in love with someone who he couldn’t have, or died or something.”

Louis frowned as he struggled over the bigger words and the hidden meaning behind the letters that were written to a woman that was never to ever see them, his heart unknowingly breaking for the love that was lost to never be trudged up and shown the light of the beauty that could’ve been known.

“That’s horrible.” Louis mumbled as Harry read the sad change of his tone, his mind again moving back to Louis’ face that still read of a conflicted past of the day as his wide eyes focused to Ginger stretching next to him, her crawling feet pawing to the duvet as they suddenly began swelling in size.

Looking to the subtle chuckle falling from Harry’s lips, Louis watched as Ginger’s body stretched and contorted to a lithe, dangerous machine that housed wide, flat paws and giant eyes that seemed to swell with the color of the ocean that Louis had only seen once in his life. Smiling as Ginger leapt from the bed to shake the floor beneath her mighty weight, Louis focused to Harry as he took notice to the tiny ears poking from his hair and the tail that curled down the leg of his shorts and twisted about his ankle.

Frowning, Louis dropped the thick binding of the book and stood unsure of himself as he looked to Harry’s eyes that seemed to glitter to the entertainment of chatoyant mischievousness he sought from Louis’ reaction to his change.

“How do you do these things?” Louis questioned as he reached a finger hesitantly to a tiny ear twitching from Harry’s hair as Harry quickly dropped to his hands and knees and stretched in imitation of Ginger as she sat back to her haunches, un-amused.

“You try!” Harry coaxed as he sat back to his heels, Louis frowning as he looked to Harry in uncertainty.

“I don’t know how-”

“Just _try_.” Harry instructed as Louis tensed, his eyes nearly crossing from the tense frown creasing his face as he concentrated to making his own ears and tail appearing, his stomach lurching to the slight slip of gas he nearly had to the effort as he quickly sat and picked the old book back to his lap.

“I can’t do it-”

“You’re not trying!” Harry sighed as he quickly leapt to topple Louis to his back, Louis laying in stunned silence as Harry settled heavily to his stomach to tuck his legs to either side of Louis’ body within the soft confines of the carpet beneath. “Just, close your eyes and imagine yourself with ears and a tail.”

Louis looked to Harry in doubt as Harry smiled, nodding as his palm ran warmly to Louis’ eyes in shutting them, Louis imagining himself running beside Harry and Ginger through the wilds of a wide field in Africa as he longed for the touch of the sun to his cheeks and back. Smiling, Louis was never aware of the way Harry’s face softened as he reveled to Louis relaxing beneath him, his hands resting to Louis’ stomach gently as he observed the gentle way in which Louis’ lips curled upward to the image that he made of his own mind. It was a sweet silence that fell as Louis fought to make himself to what he thought he needed to be, Harry all the while drinking in the fact that he was finally able to observe Louis up-close without having to worry of tripping around and being caught, his loud burst of laughter shaking Louis from his daze as his eyes fluttered open.

“What?”

“A throw pillow?” Harry was nearly in a fit as Louis wrinkled his nose in question, his eyes moving to where Harry sat on his stomach before he was gasping.

“What happened?”

“You’ve made yourself into a throw pillow!” Harry crowed as Louis sighed, lying back to the carpet as Harry rolled to his chest, Louis’ mouth parting in a wide grunt as the air was forced from his lips. “You truly are awful at this!”

“I told you I was bad at it! You’re the one that makes up the cool things.” Louis grumbled as Harry rolled next to him, the tiny ears within his hair twitching in excitement as Ginger ran past, the muscles of her powerful legs rippling beneath her skin as Harry stood Louis to his feet.

“Come on then, even a pillow deserves a glass of milk!” Louis looked after Harry as he sped happily from the room, Louis looking down at his poofed out body as he frowned, his mind almost instantly doing away with the absurd concept as his shirt and pants billowed to the loss of extra fluff and feathers.

Following to Harry’s loud stomping on the stairs, Louis was careful in looking to each picture hanging in the hall that he passed as he nearly tripped down the stairs to Harry’s call of his name, the sight of the kitchen tugging to his heart as he longed to forget he ever had another home only if to stay and watch Harry clamber about the kitchen with his tiny step-stool in hand to reach the glasses from the top cabinet, and the milk from the top shelf.

“D’you want any chocolate?” Harry asked sweetly as Louis clambered to a tall chair sat to the island, his head nodding immediately as he thought of the last time he’d had a properly made glass of chocolate milk.

Reaching for the glasses slid his way and waiting as Harry climbed to the chair next to him to sit crisscross to the counter of the island, Louis watched in marvel as Harry carefully poured two, tall glasses of milk before dumping nearly the entire bottle of chocolate sauce, Louis’ fingers reaching out instantly to the dribble falling from the spout of the bottle as Harry was unable to catch it before it ran all over his hands.

“My mum is going to kill me!” Harry laughed as Louis nodded and stuck his fingers to his mouth.

“Your mum is going to kill _me_ , she doesn’t even know me!”

Harry grew quiet as he fixed Louis to a look, his full lips pulled tightly as he shook his head quickly.

“She’ll have to accept you because I’ve accepted you.” Louis’ fingers tightened about the width of the glass before him as Harry promised to never break their gaze. “I suppose you’re kind of a big deal.”

“For someone you barely know, I suppose so.” Louis shrugged as he chuckled to the milk moustache staining Harry’s top lip, Harry making to lick it away as the tail protruding from his shorts leg flicked in thought.

“It’s just something about you.” Harry drew his knees beneath his chin as Louis began gulping his milk, fighting to hide away the blush and the look of familiarity that dawned to his face. “You just had a kind face and I thought you’d like to be friends.”

“It sounds quite special.” Louis teased as Harry smiled, moving the curls that fell back from his forehead as the tail and ears seemed to ease away slowly.

“Quite special, it is-”

“Harry! Gemma!” A voice called somewhere behind him, Louis nearly leaping from his skin as Harry’s eyes settled to the kitchen doorway, Louis looking in measured response as well as they both seemed to smile simultaneously to the woman that entered. “Harry, what’ve I said about being on the counters-”

“Mum, this is Louis! Louis, this is my mum!”

The woman moved the long, dark hair back from her brilliant green eyes that seemed to mirror Harry’s perfectly as she smiled warmly and continued on her venture to settle the shop bags to counter next to her son that immediately began riffling them through in search of a salty snack.

“Hello again, Louis! You can just call me Anne.” Louis accepted the soft hand that was held before him as he smiled further.

“Hello, again.”

“You were here the other day, yeah?” Anne seemed to laugh gently as she smacked Harry away from the bags he was nearly ripping apart, Gemma seeming to breeze through with her mobile still tucked to her shoulder as Anne checked her with her hip as she passed, a dawn of recognition seeming to grace her face as she fully _smirked_. “Oh! So you’re the Louis Harry’s constantly talking about!”

“ _Mum_!” Harry barked as he fixed her to a wide-eyed death glare, Louis smiling shyly as he shrugged.

“I suppose, unless he’s got other friends named Louis-”

“I don’t!” Harry assured quickly as Louis raised his eyebrows, Harry messily stumbling over his words as his cheeks ran red. “I mean, I don’t have other friends named Louis- but, I don’t talk about you all the time! I mean, I might’ve said _one_ thing-”

“Take a breath.” Anne instructed as she patted to Harry’s bum in ushering him from the countertop, Harry sitting with his arms folded before him as he buried his face in embarrassment. “Louis, would you care to stay for dinner? I believe Harry’s been begging for chicken-”

“Unless you want something else!” Harry nearly shouted as his head popped up quickly, his hair further flying wild as Louis smiled, taking the opportunity to slide from his seat and rub to the back of his neck awkwardly.

“’M sorry, I’m sure chicken would be good, but I think my mum might be upset I’ve just walked out.” Harry’s face fell and read completely of disappointment as Anne looked to the dark look crossing his face as she leaned to her elbows against the counter and smiled in understanding.

“I could ring her up if you’d like?”

“Thank you, but no. I don’t think she’s had a good day.” Louis looked to his feet rubbing against the floor as Harry opened his mouth to interject, Anne holding a hand out to him as she silenced him and nodded in understanding.

“Would you like us to give you a ride, then? It’s absolutely pouring.” Louis thought of how nice it would be to spend those extra five minutes with Harry, laughing and forgetting about everything else that was going so terribly that day. Yet it all shifted as Louis thought of Jay’s face folded in anger as she shouted to Louis that it was all stupid and childish to believe that someone like Harry could exist. Looking up from his feet, Louis locked eyes with Harry as a tiny smile graced his lips, Anne looking between the two quietly as they seemed to share a connection she couldn’t quite put her finger to, yet sent a shiver to her spine and a prickle to her skin.

“No thank you, I think I’ll manage.” Louis assured as he turned for the backdoor, slowing undoing the lock and turning the doorknob as Harry leapt from his seat and ushered behind Louis quickly, looking to Anne in frenzy.

“But, you’ll catch cold! It’s pouring out, look!” Louis seemed to smile further as he bent from the doorway to pull his shoes on within the comfort and warmth of the kitchen, turning quickly to Harry’s front as Harry worried his fingers to the front of his jumper. “You don’t _have_ to go yet, Louis! We can take you home later! Or even tomorrow if you like!”

“Harry! Don’t pester him! He said he has to go, so let him go! It’s not as if you’ll not see him again-”

“Mum!” Harry snapped as he turned to Anne with wide, worried eyes as Louis touched his arm gently, attracting Harry’s attention as Louis smiled.

“I’ll be back.”

“Promise?” Harry seemed to whisper as he stepped closer to Louis’ front, Louis nodding quickly as he watched Harry’s bottom lip poke further out and give a slight quiver.

“Of course.” Louis waved to Anne sweetly as Anne waved back, Harry’s face parting in sadness as he himself felt the tug of Louis’ leaving as Louis turned a final time within the doorway of the back door of Harry’s house before he was rushing quickly away to the final thing he’d _seen_.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t able to leave Harry, because Louis knew he was real and he knew that Anne and Gemma and Ginger were real, and he’d been in the house and that was all he needed. Louis knew he would be back, and he’d sit in Harry’s room again to try and turn himself to something other than a stuffed throw pillow. What Louis didn’t know, and still sent a chill down his spine as he tore and crashed through the fallen branches and sticky, wet leaves was the large black _thing_ sat to the counter across from Anne in slight shaded darkness. Louis could still see the long claws scratching to the countertop and the accentuation of the horns protruding from the darkened crown of grisly fur, but what truly caused him to clutch his stomach to the sick feeling that flood his body and made him light headed were the eyes of scarlet ruby that had fixed him within a tightening gaze that refused to ease with the fire of a smoldering burn that read danger and _death_.

Louis didn’t have to have an imagination to know a real _monster_ when he saw one.

  


⊱⊰


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“There can be no failure to a man who has not lost his courage, his character, his self respect or his self-confidence. For he is _still_ king, though a crown is merely a hat that allows the rain and weather in pass.”

  
  


[Rise On](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ahDywYcG4s)

 

 

Louis was a boy that was conflicted.

On one hand, he was completely taken by Harry and there was simply no other way to put his feelings into a specific check. Yet, on the other end of the spectrum Louis was terrified by the possibilities and the secrets that Harry possessed. Harry was constantly saying that Louis was the one making the incredible things he saw happen, but that couldn’t be true if Harry was seeing them as well! And why was it that Louis was seeing such a disgusting and horrifying thing lurking in Harry’s kitchen? The thought of those piercing, red eyes still haunted him to that very moment and made him shift uncomfortably about in his seat, Zayn sighing in frustration as he scooted further away to the table they shared as he fought to resume to the nap he’d been taking.

Looking about the classroom that was simply lolling about in boredom of the children not being able to go out to the lawns to have a recess due to the tremendous storm that had swept the village, Louis and the others were looking for better things to fill their time; yet while other children sat about and talked or played silly little games that they could rope others into and make a spectacle of, Louis was sat again thinking of Harry.

He was thinking of the way Harry had recited the last bit of that complicated letter back to Louis from memory, Louis’ understanding of Harry growing further foggy and unclear as it seemed to make more sense as to why Harry seemed so much older than Louis could’ve imagined. Harry seemed to be so far ahead in being advanced in his years of life, and yet there was this innocence and longing to know of the world that Louis wasn’t at all convinced that Harry was younger than himself. There simply couldn’t be a way that such a tiny boy was able to comprehend such difficult things, and read such advanced literature and understand and make up these beautiful things in a way that Louis had never even thought to imagine himself.

Sighing to Zayn and the other boys still snubbing him and huddling to the other end of the table, Louis brought his colors and pencil back before him, his little fingers tracing the crease of the center of the blank canvas of white that occurred somewhere from the pile gathered as Louis sighed. Louis would never live up to Harry’s expectations and it was all pointless. His house would always be smaller, he would never be as pretty and he was certainly never going to be able to make as amazing a pictures as Harry had that were hung up all over his walls.

Touching a color to the sheet before him, Louis began with Harry’s face, taking his time to get the shape and curves within his face just right as he added the dimples he adored for extra effect, taking his time in selecting the correct shade of green for Harry’s eyes as he sighed to his horrible rendition and longed further for the real thing. Shrugging in indifference, Louis sought comfort in the fact that he was able to have Harry with him in this way, his color of maroon moving to draw a specific jumper to the stick body that was covered in a mess of scribble as Louis came to a new idea and grabbed for the color that would take place in drawing Harry’s tail and ears, making him look as a tiny kitten as Louis added a tiny, black nose and whiskers for added effect.

Settling for a new sheet, Louis was soon lost to his own world as he drew out the dragon he’d never quite forgotten, his jumper sleeve dragging and rubbing to the oiled colors swathed to the page as he took extra emphasis in making the eyes as clear and as wide as he could, a shiver passing his spine as he hurriedly switched out for yet another sheet as the black color was nearly squeezed between his fingers in his hurry to draw out what he knew needed to leave his mind to forever be commemorated to real life, because it _had been_.

Taking careful effect in shaping the horns and the claws just right, Louis watched the monster take shape to Harry’s kitchen island as he began to plot out and scribble in the red of the pathless eyes, goose bumps popping to his skin as Mrs. Austin passed just behind his back to cast a curious eye over his shoulder. Louis’ arm moved faster than he could keep pace as the thing before him became further and further real in his mind, his heart seeming to leap to his throat as he thought of Harry simply living with something so cruel and wicked in his house. Did Harry know? Was it something Harry had made and forgotten about, or did Louis truly have the power to make things appear that he wasn’t even aware he was capable of doing?

“What _is_ that?” A voice snapped as Louis seemed to shake from his trance, his eyes meeting to Liam’s quickly as Liam looked in disgust to his portrait. “It’s creepy.”

“Wha’s it?” Niall muttered through a mouthful of biscuit as he leaned over Zayn’s back, leaving a trail of crumbs to the back of Zayn’s jumper and his mussed hair.

“It’s nothing.” Louis assured as he smiled kindly, gathering the drawings together as he fought to keep _them_ secret as well.

“No, come on mate! Just show us!” Niall pleaded as Liam stood and rushed Louis before he had time to react, his fingers prying away the drawings as Louis stood immediately and began chasing him to the other side of the table.

“Liam! Give them back!”

“I just want to see!”

“Boys!” Mrs. Austin shouted over the ruckus as she picked her way through the children milling about in boredom, Louis being held away by Liam’s arm as Niall snatched the drawings away.

“Give them back!” Louis shouted in exasperation as Niall’s face folded.

“What are these of? They come from your head?”

“Lemme see.” Josh instructed softly as he stood to Niall’s side, both he and Niall looking over Louis’ work as Louis managed to fit both hands to Liam’s chest as he shoved. _Hard_.

“It’s none of your business!”

“Don’t shove him!” Zayn exploded suddenly as he stood from his seat, his nap long gone as he too rounded the table and held Liam by the arm, Liam looking to Louis accusingly as Louis nearly leapt the table to extend a hand for his drawings that Niall held away.

“Boys! That’s enough!” Mrs. Austin shouted as she ripped the papers from Niall’s grasp, Niall and the other boys cowering to her shadow as she held out a hand to Louis’ quivering hands as she made to calm him down from the absolute meltdown he was about to fall into. “Here, Louis.”

“I hate all of you!” Louis spat as he snatched the drawings away and looked to the other four boys that watched him with wide eyes, some of the other children pausing in their play to take in the peculiar sight.

“Louis, you don’t mean it-”

“I’ll never speak to any of you again.” Louis seethed over Mrs. Austin’s gentle voice as Liam and Niall visibly flinched, a tear gathering to Liam’s eye as he opened his mouth to frantically apologize, his anger and jealousy to Louis’ absence completely blinding him and causing him to lash out in a way he hadn’t thought would have repercussion.

Nearly crumpling the papers within his hands, Louis fought from the crowd of children as he practically ran back to his empty classroom, his fingers immediately unzipping his rucksack as he shoved the drawings in with the rest of his school things he’d packed hours ago in hopes of a miracle occurring and he being able to leave and return to Harry’s back door. Plopping tiredly to his seat, Louis hugged his rucksack tightly to his chest as he lay his cheek to the rough zipper and pull, never caring much that they cut to his skin as he sniffled to the anger that was so strong it was blinding to the fact that a pair of wary, soft feet slowly crawled toward him.

“Louis, are you alright?” Rolling his eyes to her gentle and caring tone, Louis made to not look at her, Mrs. Austin taking a seat with difficulty to Zayn’s normal chair as she sat and scooted tightly to Louis’ back. “D’you need to talk about it? Why didn’t you want the other boys to see your drawings?”

“Because they’re mine.” Louis growled, raising his head to look to her as if she were stupid as Mrs. Austin simply raised her hands in defense.

“I’m on your side, I’m just wondering why you got so angry, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that.” Louis muttered as he turned his face back to the window, his cheek returning to lie back to the zipper as he sighed in defiance. “I’m angry because they’re _my_ drawings, and if I don’t want to allow anyone to see them then I shouldn’t have to share them.”

“What are they of then?” Mrs. Austin questioned lightly as she touched to Louis’ rucksack. “Can I have a look?”

Louis shook his head as Mrs. Austin nodded simply and sighed, running a hand to her short, blonde bob as she raised a hand to her mouth in thought.

“Would you like to make something with me, then?” There was a beat of silence as she stood with difficulty from her squatty seat to rummage about the room before returning to Louis’ side with a thick parchment and a pair of scissors.

“Like what?”

“Well, I dunno! Whatever you’d like to make, yeah? Here, hand me your rucksack, you take the scissors and just make whatever you’d like.” Louis rolled his eyes to her feeble and desperate attempt as he raised his head to humor the simple woman by nearly dumping his rucksack to her lap and snatching the scissors away.

“What if I just end up cutting the paper with nothing coming of it?”

“Then that’ll be what you’ve created.” Mrs. Austin smiled simply as Louis looked to her incredulously, turning back to the parchment as he let it rest to his hands as he measured the weight. “Don’t be afraid-”

“I’m not.” Louis cut in as he fixed her to a particular look, Mrs. Austin again raising her hands before her as she rested a gentle touch to Louis’ rucksack, her lips parting in question before she frowned to Louis’ turning over of the paper continuously in his hands before he went about cutting with a drawn and serious face.

Taking the distraction, Mrs. Austin was careful in unzipping Louis’ rucksack to pull the drawings out, moving the rucksack to the floor between her feet as she smoothed the papers to her thighs and looked them over with a gentle smile.

“These are quite good, Louis.” Louis looked to her with a frown as he thought of snatching them away before he nearly messed up his plan, choosing to ignore her completely as he perfected a line that seemed to bring the entire thing about fantastically. “Would you be upset if I asked what they’re about?”

“Which one?” Louis breezed offhandedly as the shape fell from the mess and tangle of the rest of the parchment, his eyes lighting in excitement as he looked about the room in panic before Mrs. Austin was sliding a stapler and a roll of tape to his wandering hands.

“Well, like this one.” Louis raised a hesitant eye to the picture of the grand dragon as he smirked and began fitting together his masterpiece. “Where have you seen this before? It’s beautiful, really.”

“Harry showed it to me.” Louis shrugged as he still sat in busy attempt at piecing together everything perfectly, because he knew Harry would adore it.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Who’s Harry?” Mrs. Austin crossed her ankles comfortably as Louis’ tiny hands worked quickly, her cheeks falling warm as she looked to him in fondness.

“He’s a boy I met walking home from the bus.”

“Walking home from the bus? Is your mum aware?” Louis rolled his eyes as he gripped his hands to fists and took a breath to regain himself, flinching in thought of Jay’s hand swatting to his bum the other night as he’d returned home from drooling over Harry’s kitchen.

“Yeah, but I wish I hadn’t told her.”

“Why? Is he a boy you shouldn’t be playing with, Louis?” Louis shook his head quickly as he frowned to Mrs. Austin and snatched the tape into his lap to rip strips off quickly in a slight flash of anger.

“Of course not! He’s harmless and really funny and kind-” Louis cut short as Mrs. Austin watched him carefully, Louis looking to his lap as he allowed his fingers to cling to a piece of tape that crumpled within his grasp. “Mum doesn’t think he’s real for some reason.”

Mrs. Austin frowned in difficulty as she looked to the other two drawings, her eyes tracing the sketch of a tiny boy with cat ears and a tail as she held it up for Louis to see as well.

“Is this him?” Louis nodded excitedly as he reached a finger out to trace Harry’s dimples he’d been glad to remember to include.

“Yeah! He turned himself into a cat yesterday, and I thought it was really brilliant.” Mrs. Austin pursed her lips as she looked over the cute little boy that she’d _known_ she’d never seen before.

“Why haven’t I seen him before, then? Is he older than you?”

“No, he said he was about six.” Louis shrugged as he chuckled, his fingers working again tirelessly to the project lay before him. “I dunno what he meant by it though.”

“Why does your mum think he’s not real, then?” Louis hesitated as he felt his stomach clench, sensing the hesitation of the woman next to him as he sighed and looked to her with accusing eyes.

“Because grown ups have this hesitation of not believing something magical until they can see it with their own eyes. But even when it’s in front of them, they’ve grown old and forgotten how to imagine and see the different things that _could_ be.”

“That’s a very big claim, Louis.” Mrs. Austin marveled as Louis snorted.

“I’m a child, not stupid.” Louis quirked an eyebrow in annoyance as he flicked the fringe back from his face, Mrs. Austin smirking at his smart-ass mouth and his quick wit. “I dunno why I’m to explain it to you anyways, it’s not like you believe me either.”

“I could-”

“But you don’t, so why bother pretending that you do? He’s a real boy, and I’m not just making him up.” Mrs. Austin hesitated as she thought of the notes reading to Louis’ permanent file that still sat to her personal desk at home.

“So, he’s not like the other imaginary friends you’ve had?” Louis rolled his eyes as the anger soon began to swell and bleed his vision red.

“ _No_! I’ve told everyone a million times, I was only having imaginary friends when I was younger-”

“But, how can you be sure? How do you know that he’s different?” Louis fell quiet as he went back to ignoring Mrs. Austin, her fingers tracing over the final drawing as she showed it to Louis. “And what of this?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Louis snapped as he raised the thick paper _crown_ before his eyes, his mind instantly thinking of Harry as he thought of how well it would look perched to his mess of curls, the metallic hue of the silver paper of the outer to the crown seeming to glint in the fluorescent of the lights overhead as Mrs. Austin quietly zipped the drawings back to Louis’ bag before looking over the crown herself.

“Louis, I didn’t mean to offend you, I was just reading through your file and thought it might’ve had something to do with the divorce-”

“He’s real.” Louis finished as he turned cruel eyes to her face pinched in concern, Mrs. Austin nodding slowly as the flood of children lingering lazily to the doorway stumbled in around them, Louis cleaning off the scraps of extra paper as he sat the crown to middle of his table in preparation for the buses that were soon to be there.

Standing from Zayn’s seat and smiling sweetly to her students that arrived with gentle, tired smiles, Mrs. Austin watched Louis flit around the classroom as he went about putting his things away for the day before shrugging his rucksack to his shoulders and clutching the crown within his tiny hands, waiting for the signal of the maths teacher from down the hall that the busses were arrived.

Throwing a fleeting last look to Mrs. Austin as she leaned to her desk with a frown, Louis never bothered to entertain her with a further explanation, darting around Zayn and Josh that watched him with accusing eyes as Louis was nearly the first from the primary’s front doors, his lips parting in a sigh of relief to not find his mum sat waiting in the car to tote him away to some silly bookshop in London only to accuse _him_ of being crazy. Filing quickly for the familiar bus doors, Louis was relieved to board and smile kindly to the bus driver that had leant him so much help when he’d been standing alone that night that seemed to long ago, Louis never even bothering to resume his normal seat as he instead swung to the seat directly behind the driver as he had before.

“Changing it up, are we?” The man gruffed as Louis smiled slightly and nodded.

“Yeah, why not, right?” The bus driver smiled and shrugged simply as he nodded to the mirror over his head to the crown lay delicately within Louis’ lap.

“Wha’s that, then?”

“I made it!” Louis announced with a proud smile as the other children began filing to the bus as well, Liam, Niall, Zayn and Josh seeming to round the stairs with drawn faces and pained expressions at nearly the exact _wrong_ time.

“You made it? The entire thing?”

“Yeah, for a friend.” Louis ignored how the other boys seemed to freeze in their passing of the aisle, all looking back to Louis as Louis simply smiled out the window to the rain streaking the glass, his tongue pressed to his cheek as he thought again of Harry crashing through the clearing as he wore the crown proudly; a _new_ king.

Literally about to start vibrating in his seat, Louis was impatient as the last of the children boarded the bus and the engine roared to life, the tires moving heavily to the wet and slicked pavement as Louis felt his heart give a gentle squeeze of excitement. He was going to see Harry, and as long as he wasn’t turned away or kicked out, Louis was going to stay with Harry for as long as he was allowed. His drawings weren’t nearly as good, but Louis thought it would be wrong to not show them to Harry in recognition that he’d been thinking of him that day, and that he was hopelessly and irrevocably attached.

Smiling further to himself, Louis counted the stops until he knew the bus was stopping to the mouth of his road, _Harry’s_ road, as Louis leapt from his seat and rushed the stairs as the doors were flung from his way.

“Was the ride truly that terrible?” The driver called to Louis’ retreating back as Louis tossed a simple wave over his shoulder before tearing off to the middle of the grassy lane, his eyes all the while watching the brush of the side of the overgrown and tall grass that had come to split in his constant coming and going.

While Louis was distracted in holding the crown over his head as he quite literally vanished, Liam, Niall, Zayn and Josh huddled together as they too leapt from the busses bottom step and began shoving one another forward, their eyes never distancing from Louis’ departure as their curiosity reached up to swallow and strangle them each whole.

“Harry!” Louis shouted as he crashed over branches and twigs as a boy knelt within the clearing ahead stood from his stroking of Ginger’s back, Harry’s cheeks instantly denting with those adorable dimples as he watched with bright eyes to Louis running toward him through the further thick of trees. “Harry!”

“Louis!” Harry mocked as Louis’ vibrant laugh echoed back to him, Harry tugging shyly to the sleeves of his jumper as he shook the damp hair back from his forehead as he sighed in content; he’d missed Louis more than he’d cared to admit.

“I made you something!” Louis shouted as he finally managed to break to the clearing, Harry’s eyes widening in excitement as he stood on his tiptoes, Ginger curling to the back of his legs as she looked to Louis in discontent.

“You made _me_ something-”

“Yeah, yeah! Close your eyes though, okay?” Harry nodded quickly as he closed his eyes tightly, his hands reaching up to smack over them just in case Louis thought he was cheating as he listened carefully to Louis dropping his rucksack to the wet leaves behind him as his shoes drew closer.

Licking his lips and sighing to Louis’ touch of his face, Harry’s eyebrows creased to the subtle pressure about his head as he felt Louis’ warm breath wash across his upper lip.

“There, open.” Louis whispered as Harry’s hands fell away to reveal those wide, green eyes Louis couldn’t stand to be away from, his smile quirking as Harry let his fingers raise to his head to touch to the thick, pointed tips of the crown perched to his head.

“Is it a crown?”

“Yeah, it’s not the best but we weren’t allowed outside and I thought I’d make it for you-” Louis turned away in embarrassment as he began rifling through his rucksack, Harry quickly taking the crown off of his head to turn it over in his hands as he marveled at how perfect and beautiful it truly was, slowly replacing it atop his damp curls as Louis stood and rushed back to his front in excitement. “And I know they’re not the best, but I drew these as well! I was bored and I saw you liked to draw, and I know they’re not as good as yours-”

“Louis,” Harry breathed as his fingers clutched to the pages thrust to his front, his eyes traveling the picture of himself smiling with the tiny ears and tail as his mouth parted with a gentle sigh of awe. “It’s beautiful.”

“-Really?” Louis frowned in hesitation as Harry flipped next to the picture of the dragon as he laughed loudly in excitement.

“Of course! You drew them, why wouldn’t I love them?”

“Well, I mean- they’re bad?” Harry’s eyes visibly darkened as he looked to the picture of the monster sat to his kitchen island, his fingers clutching tighter to the paper as Louis ran a nervous hand to the back of his neck and made to snatch them away. “Look, I’m sorry! They’re awful, just let me trash them-”

“Louis, you’ve seen this too?” Harry whispered as he looked to Louis with wide eyes, Louis’ skin prickling to the genuine fear permeating Harry’s demeanor as he gave a small nod.

“What is it, though?”

“I dunno.” Harry breathed as he switched that picture to the bottom of the pile to smile to Louis grandly. “They’re _all_ perfect, and if you try to trash them I’ll not forgive you.”

Louis smiled as Harry hugged the drawings to his chest, the crown slipping over his forehead as Louis reached a finger up to touch to one of the points softly, his lips closing tightly as he fought to not smile further and embarrass himself completely as he froze to Harry stepping closer. Both hearts began to flutter as Harry’s wide eyes traced Louis’ lips, and though he was younger, Harry still managed to stand slightly taller than Louis as he touched their foreheads gently.

“Thank you, Louis.” Louis laughed nervously as Harry tangled a hand to the front of his school jumper loosely.

“Imagine if I’d actually drawn you something nicely.” Harry snorted as he shook his head, connecting their eyes quietly as Louis felt his lips tingle to the last time Harry had caught him by surprise. It was sweet and quiet, and Louis could feel Harry’s body heat radiating from between the fibers of his jumper and he wanted so badly to just lurch forward and touch those full, pink lips one more time as he was expecting it, just to again experience what it was like to make sure it’d _actually_ happened, when both boys were leaping away from each other to a loud crack behind them.

Spinning on the spot, Harry stood tightly to Louis’ side as they watched in unison to the group of boys stumbling into the clearing, Harry’s fingers tightening about the papers clutched within his hands as he began to back behind Louis, looking to the stairs that seemed too far away to run to as he began to panic.

“What are you doing?” Louis snapped, Niall toppling completely to his face as Liam held fast to Zayn’s arm, Josh giggling wildly to Niall sprawled before them as Zayn looked to Harry curiously.

“Who is he?”

“None of your business, what do you want?”

“Louis.” Harry whimpered as he further backed away, his arm knocking to the bark of a small tree that shook him completely through as his eyes flicked to Ginger fleeing up the back stairs to curl to the deck in hiding beneath the tarps of the covered furniture shielded from the unforgiving weather.

“Louis, we were just-”

“You’re spying on me!” Louis snapped as he stepped forward, his cheeks flushed darkly as he was silenced to Harry’s tiny whimper of fear, Louis’ attention drawn immediately in time to see Harry flee to the trees. “Harry! Harry, wait!”

“Louis, who is that?” Zayn demanded as Louis looked to him angrily.

“He’s my friend and you scared him!”

Taking off after Harry, Louis was careful to watch him feet as he traveled to unknown woods that he’d never been to before, the flash of Harry’s jumper catching his eye every once in a while as he called pitifully for Harry to stop running if only for a second. Louis didn’t dare call out any louder in fear that he crashing feet behind him should follow and scare Harry further, Louis’ tiny feet moving about terribly in his shoes that continued to be too big, Harry’s lithe movement slicking through the trees as Louis felt tears prick to his eyes at his own stupidity. How could he have been so idiotically careless?

“Harry, please!” Louis called out suddenly as he watched Harry draw slower to Louis’ panicked tone, Harry taking only a second to turn to find Louis’ face drawn in pain with his hand clutched to his ribs to keep the hole of his middle from tearing open to bleed down his trouser leg.

“Louis, who are they?” Harry demanded as the papers within his fingers crumpled further to the stress balling to his fists.

“I’m sorry, Harry, they’re just my mates from primary-”

“Your mates.” Harry seemed to marvel as he drew completely still, Louis taking the opportunity to meet to Harry’s front as he began to wheeze and clutch tighter to his middle, bending over to catch his breath.

“I’ve been mates with them since I was practically born and I didn’t know they were going to follow me here-”

“Why do they hate me?” Harry whispered as Louis stood, his face cross as his fingers dug further to ensure the hole didn’t gape bigger.

“They don’t-”

“Don’t lie to me, Louis.” Harry sighed as he frowned, Louis shaking his head as he blinked to the tears that formed to Harry’s still scared and increasingly growing annoyance ridden eyes.

“They’re just jealous that I’ve spent all my time with you.” Louis breathed as he stepped to Harry slowly, Harry drawing a step back as his eyes flew to the other four boys that broke the tree line just behind Louis to freeze in their steps to the quiet of the wood that seemed to grow to an increasing roar at the awkward mention of the stranger among them. “I won’t let them hurt you, but I’m sure they just want to know who I think about all the time.”

Louis audibly gulped as Harry looked to him with a pinched mouth and serious eyes, his stance never wavering as Louis made to step forward before drawing his foot back.

“Why didn’t you just tell them about me, then? And why have I not heard about them?”

“Because you’re mine!” Louis blurted before biting to his bottom lip at the horror that had just spilt from his lips before his teeth were able to catch them, Harry’s cheeks rising gently in color as Louis stumbled to his explanation. “I just- I mean this wasn’t something I was ready to give away? I dunno, Harry! They never came up, and we just had fun together and it wasn’t as if we’d been playing for months at a time together or anything-”

“Louis?” Liam called as he and the rest of the boys stepped forward carefully, Harry’s body tensing as he looked to Louis slowly.

“I’m _not_ afraid of them.”

“You shouldn’t be-”

“They had no right to just come to my clearing, Louis.” Harry preached as Louis nodded quickly, his head bowed in shame.

“I’m sorry.” Louis whispered, as Harry looked to the group of boys watching them carefully, his eyes drawn to the goofy blonde boy whose roots showed of a chocolate brown that stuck to every direction and complimented his toothy and wild grin.

“Take my hand.” Harry instructed softly as Louis looked up only to jump gently in surprise to Harry’s close proximity, his confidence in Harry never wavering as he allowed his fingers to tangle to Harry’s tightly, their eyes locked as Harry singlehandedly folded Louis’ drawings and slipped them to his trousers pocket before nodding.

Leading Harry to the group of boys waiting, Louis was ignorant to Niall’s growing smile, Josh’s sweet eyes, Liam’s air of caution and Zayn’s eyes trained to Louis’ hand cupped within Harry’s as Harry timidly approached strongly to Louis’ side.

“Are we done running yet, though?” Niall seemed to complain as he fell into Josh’s side, Josh looking to Niall from the corner of his eye as he swatted a leaf tangled to Niall’s hair.

“Boys, this is Harry.”

“So you’re the one that got the fancy crown!” Liam praised as Harry reached a hand to his head before smiling timidly and nodding.

“I’m Zayn, and this is Liam.” Zayn spoke slowly as Harry looked between them, smiling gently as Liam nodded shyly to the strange and mystic boy that Louis couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from.

“And I’m Niall!” Niall cheered as Josh landed an elbow to his side. “And this is Josh.”

“Hello, Harry!” Josh greeted kindly as Harry began to smile, comfort spreading through his chest as the crown began to mold and form heavily about his head.

“Hi, I suppose.” Harry chuckled as Zayn looked to Louis angrily.

“You didn’t have to keep it a secret-”

“It _wasn’t_ a secret.” Louis snapped as his fingers tightened about Harry’s, Harry looking cross-eyed to the weight further increasing about his head as he smiled offhandedly.

“Then what was it?”

“Louis, you could’ve at least told us, we wouldn’t have minded in inviting Harry along.” Liam cut in kindly as Louis rolled his eyes in frustration.

“Maybe I didn’t want to-”

“What is _that_?” Niall burst suddenly as everybody seemed to jump, Harry never having to turn as a smirk spread to his lips, Josh’s eyes widening as well as Zayn looked in frustration before he too stood with open mouth.

“Was that there the first time?” Josh marveled as Zayn looked to him incredulously.

“I’m pretty sure if there’d been a castle there five minutes ago, we’d have seen it!” Louis looked to his shoulder as Harry’s thumb traced the back of his hand lightly, Louis’ eyes scaling the large turrets and solid, stone wall that housed tiny, waving flags that blew to the slight wind of the open plains they were stood to the middle of.

“What are you guys talking about?” Liam snapped as he stepped to Louis’ side, his head craned uncomfortably as Louis looked back to the woods Liam stood in, Zayn, Niall, Josh and Harry all walking slowly toward the lowered drawbridge through the tall, sweet grass as Liam frowned further in frustration.

“Don’t you see it?” Louis questioned gently as Liam looked to him as if he’d gone mad.

“What is there to see? We’re in the middle of the woods! There’s nothing there!”

“Liam.” Louis sighed as he walked to stand before Liam, turning Liam to face him directly as Louis’ eyes flittered to the castle that again loomed over them as he smiled and connected to Liam’s wide, brown eyes earnestly. “Look again.”

“This is stupid-”

“Just do it!” Louis demanded sternly as he forcibly turned Liam’s head to the side to crane over his shoulder, Liam’s breath catching in his throat as his eyes nearly bugged from his head.

“How is this possible?” Liam breathed as he turned to fully face the large and looming structure that Niall, Josh, Zayn and Harry had disappeared within with loud shouts of laughter, Louis bumping their shoulders together as he took on an air of gloating and pride.

“Harry.”

Liam frowned as Louis began walking toward the drawbridge and plucking up grass to pop in his mouth, Liam tossing a fleeting glance over his shoulder as the woods seemed to shrink and disperse further away as he fought to stay to Louis’ side as the air turned warm and crisp, the sun beating to his cheeks as he reveled in the impossible.

Making to the drawbridge and nearly running to the backs of the stalled group, Louis’ eyes traced the crown he made turned to a magnificent piece of silver perched to its rightful place atop Harry’s head as it glittered in the sunlight that filtered to the tiny village built within the wall’s confines and the base of the castle that rose to look over the entirety of the landscape behind them of the hidden world unknown.

The houses were tiny little stacked, beige fortresses, their windows intricately designed and blown to pretty patterns that caught the sunlight and radiated beautiful stories to the cobble stone of the street as Louis and the other boys watched in awe. It was as if they could imagine what it was to be there in the heaviest of the day, the foot traffic mental and fast paced as many laughed and waved to the other with their baskets drawn over their shoulders and their day’s goods slung to their chests. Louis and the other boys could feel what it was to live in such a magical and mystifying place, and it was surreal to feel such a moving piece of time shifting beneath their feet.

“Where is everyone?” Louis questioned lowly as he felt his shoulders grow heavy, the _armor_ suddenly placed over his body seeming to gleam to the other boy’s suits as well as Harry reached back blindly for Louis’ hand.

“They’ve all hidden themselves.” Harry muttered as Louis tangled their fingers together only to be tugged forward to Harry’s wake, the sword strapped to his hip clanging to Louis’ thigh as the other boys began smacking to one another’s chests through the armor that protected them from one another’s blows. “Come on!”

“You there!” A voice called as Harry froze, Louis, Liam, Niall, Zayn and Josh all looking to the man perched about a tall horse as he rode to them quickly before heaving a great sigh of relief. “Thank God you’ve showed up finally!”

“What are we to do?” Harry demanded, sure of himself as Zayn looked to Liam incredulously.

“Who is that?”

“Where do you think _we_ can get a horse?” Niall marveled as his fingers softly touched to the horse’s tail as the animal immediately stomped its heels in agitation, Niall leaping away as Josh bent in a fit of giggles.

“The princess wishes to see you, Sir. Styles.” Louis looked to Harry from the corner of his eye as he marveled to never having thought properly about Harry’s last name, but deciding that Styles was appropriate.

“Of course.” Harry gave a slight bow of the head as he and the other boys trailed along to the guard’s wake, Louis and Josh taking notice to the faces peeking from the windows and doorways of the shops and homes they passed to the uneven and dancing, multicolored streets as they drew ever nearer to the castle’s grand front entrance.

“This is so cool.” Zayn breathed as Liam latched tightly to his arm, glancing to Zayn briefly as he huffed in confusion.

“How is this even real? There are no castles in those woods.” Zayn touched Liam’s cheek gently as Liam further worried, Zayn nodding forward with his head as both he and Liam looked to Harry and Louis clasped tightly to the other, giggling like idiots.

“I think it’s them.”

“You’ll be taken to the princess’s quarters to wait for her command of what you’re to do.” The guard announced to the grand, vaulted entranceway as a butler in a pressed suit stepped forward to quickly bow.

“We’ve been waiting for knights brave enough to face _her_.”

“Her?” Louis quivered in excitement as the butler simply gestured the group toward the wide, sprawling expanse of stairs before them, Niall snatching a bit of mash off of a passing tray as Josh smacked at his hand and fixed Niall to a disgusted look.

“You don’t know what was in that!”

“It was just mash!”

“Don’t they poison royalty, or something?” Liam spoke up, as Niall’s eyes grew wide, his foot nearly missing a step in his climb as he held his hands before him, shaking them quickly.

“They poison people here? Where are we?!”

“Calm down.” Harry instructed lowly as the group rounded the winding staircase to the butler’s flank as he quickly rapped to the darkly stained door with the wrought iron fixtures, only met by a small clearing of the throat from within and a patter of anticipation.

“She waits for you.” The butler instructed as he again bowed his head, Harry nodding as Louis tugged to his hand.

“Who is _she_ , exactly?” Harry smiled simply as his face took a new light in that moment, an air of importance radiating his cheeks and settling to his brows as his crown glittered softly.

“The princess, of course.”

Looking to the door moving from their way, Louis, Harry and the other boys all stepped to the intricate chamber bathed in warm sunlight as a girl stood from her chair near the window to turn and smile to them kindly, all boys but Harry seeming to hold their breath to her beauty as she held a hand out to them gently. Her face was round and sweet, her cheekbones held high and prominent, as her violet eyes seemed to call them in closer to her keep and well wishes.

“Boys! I’m so glad you’ve found your way alright!”

“I told you we would come.” Harry pleaded as he bowed, looking to the other boys fiercely as they all mirrored his notion, the princess giving a small giggle as she nodded and moved a tight curl back from her neck with tiny, thin fingers.

“Yes, I knew I could count on you, my fearless league of knights.”

“She thinks we’re fearless.” Niall giggled as Zayn promptly smacked him to the back of the head, taking a cautious step forward as Liam clung to his arm and moved right along with him.

“But, why us?”

“Because Harry has decided to bring you all along, of course!” The princess breathed as she smiled a grand smile, her crystal bright eyes glittering gorgeously as Louis marveled to her elegance and grace. “I really just need help in keeping that wicked witch away from my people!”

“A witch.” Liam deadpanned as the princess nodded, waving them toward her grand picture window as the small boys huddled and clanged together to look over the fields and wood that they’d come from.

“She’s constantly coming from the woods, sneaking about town and stealing things! Trying to come in the castle as well to steal my crown that she knows she’s not allowed to even look at, much less touch!” The princess raised her chin in measured anger as she sighed and raised a dainty hand to the base of her throat. “I was simply hoping I could count on the six of you to stop her in her tracks and manage to rid of her these lands for _good_.”

“You mean _kill_ her?” Josh choked as Louis’ grip to Harry’s hand forcibly tightened, Harry’s smirk unfathomable as he watched the princess closely.

“If it’s what you must do, then so be it. I simply _must_ protect my people-”

“Princess! She comes! From the North, the witch is come!” The butler exploded to the chamber as all boys pressed forward to smash their noses to the window, Harry’s skin crawling as he saw the wild mess of _blonde_ hair slinking from the borough of the woods keep.

“Ugh, her.” Harry muttered as Louis looked to him with cross eyebrows, Harry quickly breaking through the group as he and Louis lost contact. “Come on, then!”

“Wait, is she dangerous?” Liam called as Niall and Josh exploded in excitement, rushing after Harry as Louis was stood watching the princess quietly.

“Be safe, Louis.” The princess issued quietly as Louis bowed his head tenderly and smiled to her kindly, her hand raised to his cheek in understanding as goose bumps instantly littered his skin. “You are very brave, in standing for what you believe in.”

“Is it brave?” Louis questioned in bafflement as the princess nodded to smooth a hand through his fringe.

“You’re braver than you think, and you deserve to be told so everyday that you’re in doubt of the strength you posses.”

“Louis!” Harry called from the passageway outside as Louis nodded and turned from the princess, her smile lost to his turned back as she gently melted to the sun billowing in the large window, her hair the last to flutter away as the wings of a _butterfly_.

Following to the trampling on the stairs, Louis and the boys soon found themselves clambering through the small town again before facing the wide fields as she came as a black storm cloud to suck away the sun and the breath from their lungs creeping through the grass and turning the soil to blackened coal hard beneath their feet, Louis standing bravely to Harry’s side as he reached to the sword at his own side as Harry looked to him with determination set to his face.

“Are you ready?” Nodding tightly, Louis raised his sword as Liam, Zayn, Niall and Josh lined to his other side with their own swords raised, Harry smiling in pride as he raised his own sword to slash away the creeping, crawling things forming from the black that wandered before the witch come. “Show yourself, evil wench!”

“You don’t have to get rude!” A voice snapped as Louis lurched with his sword swinging to the black smoke that engulfed his vision and showed disgusting, mutated creatures slinking lowly to the ground before taking flight on battered and veined wings, the grass falling frozen and dead beneath his shoes that fell too big as he tripped over an unseen branch, all boys smacking into one another and wandering blindly before Louis’ heart stopped to a piercing scream that littered the air cold and lifeless to the beautiful hillside and village that crumbled and caught to the inferno of the sun that crashed to earth.

“Get off of me!”

“Harry!” Louis screamed as he fought from the shadow to smack straight to Liam, their heads knocking loudly as both boys tumbled to their backs, Louis’ forehead clutched within his hands as he sprawled to the leaves and twigs that gave and snapped beneath his weight.

“Did that really just happen?” Zayn shouted as he spun about them, looking to the tall trees tangling above them as Niall and Josh continued in swinging their sticks wildly as the swords fell from their hands to reveal their true intent.

“I said, get off of me!” Harry bellowed as Louis lay his head back to the soft ground as he caught sight of a tall, lanky girl with her arms wrapped tightly about Harry as she continuously kissed to his cheeks and hair.

“You’re by _my_ house, silly! I just wanted to play with you guys!” The girl with sandy and dull plates in her long hair claimed as Harry shoved her forcibly away, his jumper sleeves rubbing to his face to clear away her spit as the girl’s thin bottom lip jutted out to visibly pout. “Why would you come all this way from your house to mine if you didn’t want me to play in your adventure?”

“We weren’t looking for you!” Harry snapped, moving away from the girl as she stepped forward with her arms raised. “I wouldn’t want to play with you anyways, _Taylor_.”

“She’s a bit clingy.” Niall muttered as he helped Louis to his feet, Zayn nearly picking Liam up into his arms as he brushed him off to all boys looking to this Taylor girl with dissatisfied looks of disbelief.

“Well, you obviously knew where you were coming.” Taylor finalized as she crossed her arms to her chest, her eyes locking to the rest of the boys as she gave a smirk, openly looking over their clothes that were now muddied and filthy from the play. “Since when do you know any of the boys that go to the private primary outside of the village?”

“Since I became his best friend.” Louis snapped as he stepped forward, Harry managing a small smile as he still fought the spit from his cheeks.

“Well, Harry knew where he was coming in bringing you all here.”

“Bit loony.” Josh breathed as Niall rolled his eyes loudly before he shoved past, gathering Louis and Josh’s wrists within his hands as he started back in the direction he assumed was Harry’s house.

“Girls are so _disgusting_!”

“Hey!” Taylor shouted as she reached to cling for Harry to hold him there with her as Harry managed to dodge her grip and breeze past the other boys in leading them back to safe territory. “You haven’t got to be such prats about it!”

“Get stuffed!” Zayn tossed over his shoulder as Taylor gave a scream of frustration and whining, storming to her house just up the hill as Harry shivered loudly.

“Who is she?” Louis snapped as he felt a hint of jealousy trace his spine.

“Some crazy bird that lives a few doors down and insists on poking around every time I play too close to her house. It’s like she’s tainted the woods any further from my house or something.” Harry muttered as he quickly patted his trousers pocket to ensure that Louis’ drawings still remained tucked away.

“I don’t like her, much.” Liam groveled as all boys agreed loudly, Harry stretching his arms above his head as he smiled to the light mist twisting down to his shoulders from the canopy high overhead.

Louis picked up his pace slightly as he walked to Harry’s side, his eyes tracing the milky and small arms that rose from the jumper sleeves that slid to Harry’s elbows as something odd caught his eye.

“What are these?” Harry’s face turned peculiar as he instantly lowered his arms and fought to cover himself again.

“Nothing-”

“No, let me see.” Louis demanded quickly as Niall and Josh went about romping over the fallen logs and branches as they hooped and shouted to Liam and Zayn joining in, blurting past Louis and Harry as Louis carefully pulled Harry’s arm to his chest. “How did you get these? Did someone hurt you?”

“No, it’s… complicated?” Harry struggled as he fought his arm away from Louis, insuring his jumper sleeve was fully pulled down as Louis frowned in _pain_.

“Harry, if someone is hurting you-”

“No, Louis-”

“Harry, you can stay with me! My house isn’t as big, but I can keep you safe!” Louis pleaded as Harry looked to him with wide eyes and parted lips.

“You can’t keep me safe from this, Louis.” Louis began to shake his head as Harry instantly quieted him by cupping their hands together, sharing the warmth of their bodies lovingly as he walked a bit closer. “I promise, I’m alright.”

“Harry, those are a lot of _bruises_ -”

“Just, leave it.” Harry fixed sternly as Louis flinched, his eyes dropping sadly as he allowed his hand fall dejectedly to his side, Harry watching him in frustration as Niall jumped to Louis’ back.

“Louis, we’re all to go to mine after and watch a few films, are you and Harry coming then?”

Louis sighed to Harry bumping the backs of their hands together as he watched Zayn trip over a log and Liam burst to a fit of laughter to his diva expression and tight pout.

“I dunno.”

“Come on, mate! It’ll be fun, and you don’t have to hide Harry away so he can come as well! Crown and all!” Louis looked to Harry in that moment as he caught Harry watching back, Harry’s hand bumping hard to his own again as his fingers touched to Louis’ lightly as Louis moved his hand away stubbornly and shook his head, looking back to his feet threading through the tall grass.

“I should probably get home. My mum is still mad at me.”

“Oh, come off it Louis!” Josh called as Harry ducked his head and pulled the now again paper crown from his mess of hair, his fingers running it through quickly as the curls sprung to every direction, Louis looking to him briefly to fight away the smile to the slight part of Harry’s hair to the left side of his head.

Choosing to ignore the insults that were now hurled his way, Louis was actually worried to find he was relieved to be back to the clearing, his knapsack wet with the rain that had gathered as he pulled it from the other boys’ packs as they all went about cheering and talking loudly of the adventure they’d just experienced that they were nearly unable to believe had truly happened.

“Louis?” A small voice questioned as Louis turned to Harry slowly, Harry’s face pulled sadly as he stood before Louis awkwardly, his fingers tangled tightly to the front of his jumper. “Are you angry with me?”

Louis averted his eyes as he thought of the question and the feelings he was actually experiencing at the time, unable to differentiate what he was truly wanting to say and what he was unable to express as his eyes wandered to the house looming above them before he was rendered cold and still. There, to the middle of the back wall of the house was the monster of black; the long and gruesome claws stabbed and ripping to the siding of the house as two brilliant, scarlet death eyes turned to Louis through the shade of the horns that seemed so much more dangerous in the gloom and haze of the clouds growing ever thicker overhead.

Making to scream or at least have the courage to point it out to the others, Louis stood transfixed as the monster watched him, the claws ripping and shredding up the side of the house as he watched the thing twist its way past what Louis figured to be Harry’s room before fixing to a window just down the way where a figure passed by the window slowly. Squinting around Harry’s wave of a hand before his face, Louis watched in time to Anne pausing before the window as she smiled curtly to Harry whirling on the spot to look to her in mild embarrassment, the other boys loudly commenting on how beautiful she was when all Louis could do was ball his hands tightly to fists and fight back the vomit that rose in his throat.

The monster had crawled to Anne’s window and _vanished_ in time that she had passed, a scarlet hazing falling beneath her full lashes as Louis fought to understand what he was thinking, the thoughts all seeming to be too mature for having just indulged in a fantasy world that never even existed! Louis knew in that moment that Harry had believed and seen the monster before as well, because the monster was smiling to him and the other boys kindly as she _waved_ Harry inside, Louis’ throat clenching tightly shut as Harry frowned to him in time that Louis made to grab for his arm before thinking of the many, dark, discolored bruises that lay there before snatching his hand back and gazing quickly back to the window to stumble back and nearly fall to his bum.

The other boys rushed to his side as Harry knelt between his legs, yet Louis could only look to the monster gnashing its teeth back, the red of the eyes seeming to rip him apart from the inside out as he made to scream, but no sound came.

For what if mother _wasn’t_ God in the eyes of a child, but rather a _monster_?

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”

  
  


[Close Your Eyes And Count To Ten](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3gJSVLhVWY)

  
  


The weekend came slowly and calmly as the weather seemed to even out for a few days warmth before again falling to the shade of the clouds that so desperately sought home to the tiny village and the villagers that sheltered themselves of the rain and sharp licks of lightning that skated the horizon and shook the roofs of their homes. Louis was currently posted before the front room window as he stared bleakly to the rain that sheeted the street and the other houses. He’d not been to see Harry since they’d visited the castle set in that seemingly far away world where the sun had kissed his cheeks and wrapped him to the warmth and comfort he’d been so long without, and he was in that instant, full heartedly regretting that decision.

It wasn’t because Louis was upset about Harry keeping a secret, because Louis himself had been keeping Harry a secret from the only people that had been by his side since he’d been able to properly raise his head and take a look about. It was for the fact that something or _someone_ was hurting Harry, was putting the bruises to his arms! The thought of those black and green marks littering that perfect expanse of milky skin again set a fire beneath Louis’ ass as his mood rendered sour and he settled his chin back to his crossed forearms.

Louis couldn’t fathom the perplexity of the idea that someone would see Harry and want to hurt him! Harry was beautiful and fascinating, and if he was the last person on earth, Louis saw absolutely no reason why he should be punished for anything, no matter how small or grand of a scale it should be! But Louis sat in frustration rather thinking of how Harry could’ve come into the bruises, perhaps playing with Ginger? Perhaps they were a rough grab to his arm by Gemma trying to stop Harry from dashing about into the rain when he wasn’t supposed to, or that ridiculous Taylor girl that was always grabbing at Harry to kiss him at any chance she got.

The thought of not knowing, and possibly never understanding is what caused Louis so much anger. The thought of not knowing is why Louis always opted to walk to footie practice and take a late bus home only to cut off to Niall and Josh and Zayn’s street to pass through the brush behind Zayn’s house to Liam’s back lawn before finally crossing the street to his own. Speaking in terms of Liam, Louis sighed further in knowing that he’d seen Zayn over there about two hours earlier to pick Liam up for the weekend at his house, their faces pressed together in laughter as they’d piled in the back of Zayn’s mum’s car as Liam’s parents waved goodbye and continued packing their own car for the weekend away.

It was odd to be in this place, to know exactly who you wanted to be with, yet be entirely too afraid to be with them. Louis knew he was going to return to Harry again, and Louis knew that no matter how many things Harry wasn’t willing to tell him, Louis was always going to get those butterflies behind his bellybutton every time Harry looked to him in that certain, serious way that he did, or when he laced their fingers together to elicit those tiny dimples to either of his cheeks.

“Earth to space cadet!” A voice called loudly as Louis looked from the window in time to be smacked to the face with a pillow from the opposite couch. “Will you stop looking out the window? You’re bumming everyone else out!”

“It’s kind of dramatic.” Tom agreed as he knocked Lou to the thigh, Louis turning away from them both grumbling as he rolled his eyes and watched the rainwater race to the middle of the street to be swept away within the storm guttering swallowing hungrily.

“You don’t _have_ to be here.” Louis muttered as Lou laughed loudly in sarcastic hue.

“So, what? You’d look after yourself and Lottie all alone in this house while it’s due to storm any second?” Lou teased as Louis turned and flopped back to the loveseat as he stretched his legs before himself.

“If it would get rid of you and whatever perfume you’ve worn.” Tom couldn’t help but explode with laughter as Lou promptly struck him to the back of the head.

“Me mum bought me this perfume! Watch yourself, Louis, you’re being a little shit!”

“I don’t care.” Louis snapped as he sunk further to the soft cushions beneath him, Tom snapping the television to mute as he shifted Lottie from his lap to the couch next to Lou as Lottie snoozed happily.

“Alright, what’s wrong? Even for you, you’re more moody than usual.”

“I’m not moody.” Louis snarked as Lou snorted at the irony.

“You’re quite the moody queen, Louis Tomlinson.”

“Why don’t you just shove off?” Louis sat up quickly as Lou bit to her fingertips in mock, Tom placing a hand to Louis’ stomach as he motioned for Louis to again take his seat.

“Does it have anything to do with that little bloke you were seeing? What was his name again?”

“Harry.” Lou cut in as she smiled to Louis, popping her bubblegum loudly in disinterest, for she’d been suffering from bad symptoms of PMS for the past couple of days.

“What about him?”

“Well, how are things going with him? Last we heard you were in some sort of trance, going on about how he’s real and we’ve not heard a peep about it since!” Tom sat a bit straighter as Louis took his seat again, digging his elbows to his knees as he cupped his cheeks tightly.

“He’s fine, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well, he’s a bit complicated.” Louis sighed as he flopped back, Tom smacking to his foot as Louis groaned in frustration. “I dunno! I dunno, alright? I get all funny feeling when I’m with him, and he holds my hand! But then, when I try to ask him about certain things, he won’t tell me so I’m left worrying and avoiding him because I’m so angry he won’t just _out_ with it-”

“You’ve been avoiding him? Jesus Louis, are you two in a relationship now?” Lou questioned seriously as she crossed Lottie’s arm across her tiny, slowly moving chest as Tom screwed up his face slightly.

“No,” Louis snapped as he pulled his knees beneath his chin, willing away the warm color to his cheeks. “I’m just afraid I’ll say the wrong thing, or ask the wrong question and he’ll not want to talk to me anymore.”

Louis shrugged as Tom whistled lowly and looked to Lou through the corner of his eye.

“And I thought trying to shag a _girl_ was a right trip.”

“Shut up, Tom!” Lou snapped as she kicked him to the back of the head with her bare foot, Louis rolling his eyes as he again stood and turned for the doorway.

“You’re both impossible.”

“Louis, we’re only trying to help!” Tom cut in loudly as he raised his tattooed arms and hands above his head, running his fingers to his shaggy and greasy hair as Louis wrinkled his nose in dissatisfaction.

“I think I’d be better on my own-”

“Are you going to be hungry soon? I’ve been fancying a pizza lately!” Lou burst as Louis sighed and thought of the solitude of his warm and assumingly quiet room.

“Whatever, I’m not hungry.”

Making his way to the hallway, Louis was nearly to turn the corner to lead to his room before he paused to the kitchen doorway, thinking of hoarding a cup of juice and a bag of biscuits within his solitude, when the doorbell rang loudly through the house behind him.

“ _Did_ you order a pizza?” Louis could hear Lou question Tom lazily as Louis turned for the door and slid the entire way in his socks until his hand was clutched about the doorknob tightly. “Louis, you’re not to answer the door!”

“I’m already here!” Louis sighed in exasperation as he ignored Lou’s protest and tripping over her own legs _and_ Tom in her haste to get to Louis and pull him away, her attempt vain as she reached the door just as Louis ripped it from his way to catch his breath tightly within his throat, nearly strangling him in his surprise.

“Harry?”

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Harry mumbled as his tiny figure shook and shivered, his hair long and plastered to his face and neck to the rain that still fell to his crown and shoulders as Lou peeped around the door.

“This is Harry?”

“Harry, it’s raining! Did you walk the entire way here?” Harry nodded quickly as Louis took notice of his paled lips and the bags beneath his eyes.

“I thought I remembered where you said your roof was and then I counted.” Lou’s eyes widened as she quickly pulled Harry into the warmth of the Tomlinson household before rushing to the hallway closet for a blanket.

“And you calculated all that from memory?”

“I suppose so.” Harry uttered as his eyes never left Louis’, the expression held within them reading of sorrow and loss as Louis shifted uncomfortably to his feet. “Why don’t you like me anymore?”

“But, I do-”

“Here, lets get you dried off and into some warm clothes! Louis, can Harry borrow?” Lou cut in as she waved a hand quickly before Louis’ face to bring him from the trance he seemed to be plastered in. “Come on space cadet, before he catches pneumonia!”

“Yeah, yeah!” Louis rushed as he gathered Harry’s cold hand within his own to pull him down the hallway, Harry seeming to trip over his own numb feet as he attempted halfheartedly to kick his shoes off near the door in order to keep the leaves and mud of the woods from the trip over from being smeared and tracked throughout the entire house.

Leading quickly to his room, Louis flicked the light on and left Harry by the doorway as he began rummaging to his dresser drawers and closet in search of comfortable clothes he thought would fit to Harry’s longer arms and legs.

“Jesus kid, you live how far away?” Lou questioned lightly as she entered the room not long after and began toweling Harry’s hair dry.

“I only live to the other side of the thicket on the main road in.” Harry explained quietly as his eyes watched Louis move effortlessly to the quaint bedroom that he couldn’t understand Louis’ opposition toward.

“That’s a long way to come in the rain-”

“Lou, get out! Harry has to change!” Louis snapped as he charged Lou and began shoving her from the room, Lou slapping his hands away as she raised her arms before her in surrender.

“Fine, _fine_ Louis! Does Harry want soup, at least?”

“Go away!” Louis demanded again as he shut his bedroom to Lou’s face, Lou rolling her eyes as she tread the hallway in avoiding Harry’s tiny, wet footprints as she went about busying herself in the kitchen to heating a can of soup regardless.

Within Louis’ room, Harry’s head was extended back as he smiled to the many stick-on stars littered to the ceiling, his hair beginning to dry itself as the tiny curls flattened themselves out to appear straight and further messed than usual as Harry pushed them back to stand tall as he normally would.

“I hope these fit.” Louis worried as he laid the identical sweatpants that mirrored his own to top of his duvet along with one of his favorite jumpers, Harry looking to Louis quietly as he began to again frown.

“Louis, you never answered my question.” Louis shrugged as he waved Harry closer, Harry stepping forward hesitantly as Louis bit to his bottom lip.

“I wasn’t _avoiding_ you-”

“So you normally walk an extra fifteen minutes out of your way to get home, then?” Harry snapped as he stood away from Louis, his eyes hard as Louis sighed and sat next to the clothes upon his bed.

“I guess I was just upset.”

“About what?” Harry breathed as he fell rigid, Louis frowning to the toes of his socks as his fingers tangled within his lap.

“Because you’re hurt and you won’t tell me why? And the fact that you’re hurt and someone would hurt you in the first place.”

“Louis, it’s not like that-”

“I saw the monster that day, after we came back to the clearing!” Louis blurted, as Harry seemed to freeze, his eyes narrowing dangerously as Louis shook his head in disbelief. “I saw it climbing up the back of your house and it went into the same room your mum was in.”

Harry snorted to Louis’ final thought as he simply stripped, his pants and jumper tossed away to the side as Louis’ cheeks burned brightly before his hands flew to cover his eyes to Harry stripping away his underwear as well.

“She doesn’t believe the monster is real, so I wouldn’t worry of her getting hurt.” Louis sighed angrily as he rolled his eyes behind his hands.

“I’m not worried about _her_.” The room seemed to grow quiet as Louis felt the slight breeze of the clothes leaving the bed beside him, a warming pair of hands encasing his own as Louis’ were brought away to Harry stood between Louis’ parted knees.

“You don’t need to worry about me either, yeah? I’m fine and no one is hurting me.” Louis clenched his teeth to Harry’s trying to convince him, but Louis wasn’t to be shaken, his eyes unable to keep from tracing Harry’s bare chest as he again took notice to the necklace that lay perfectly between Harry’s collarbones.

Reaching a hesitant hand out to it, Louis allowed the tiny tag to move between his fingers as he frowned to Harry in question. Laid to the face of the tag stood Harry’s address, phone number and Anne’s name, a second number listed beneath it as Louis allowed the tag turn over in his fingers.

“Is this because you get lost?” Harry shrugged with a tiny quirk of his lips that were returning of color as he slipped into Louis’ jumper that was big enough to fit him perfectly.

“I suppose it could be, yeah.”

“Boys, soup!” Lou called obnoxiously from the kitchen, Louis crinkling his nose as Harry chuckled and again ran his fingers messily to his hair.

“Is she your sister-”

“Ugh, no! Babysitter!” Louis declared quickly as Harry let his nose wrinkle to the rumbling laugh that fell from the pit of his stomach.

“You haven’t got to sound so upset about it!” Louis cringed at the thought of actually having to live with Lou. _Daily_.

“I would run away and just live in the woods behind your house.” Louis promised as Harry fixed him to a funny look, following Louis as he opened his bedroom door to lead them down the hallway toward the kitchen.

“No Louis, you would just come live _with_ me.” Louis turned to Harry with wide eyes as Harry smirked and rounded Louis to sit at the kitchen table, Lou plopping a steaming bowl of broth before him as she lay, for extra effect, a thick blanket to drape to Harry’s shoulders before shooting a sassy look to Louis’ narrowed glance. “Duh.”

“Well, what the hell is everyone on about?” Tom called as he strode in proudly from the front room, his feet slowing in his step as he looked to the wild brunette sipping to his soup lightly at the table.

“This is Louis’ Harry.” Lou seemed to crow gently as she sat to her heels within the chair to the opposite head of the table, Louis never looking away from Harry as he watched a dribble of soup fall to his chin gently.

“This is the catch, eh?” Tom flopped to a chair opposite as he held out his hand across the table. “’M Tom then mate, nice to meet you.”

“Harry.” Harry smiled as he gripped Tom’s hand lightly, slowly looking over the tattoos as he thought quietly to himself with a serious pull of his lips. “Did they hurt?”

“After a while you get used to the feeling and you get a bit addicted.” Lou nodded as she began slowly showing Harry her tiny tattoos littered about her arms and hands, Louis turning to Lottie’s loud wail as she waddled to the kitchen rubbing her eyes tiredly.

“Wicked.” Harry chuckled as he sipped to his soup, Louis sighing as he picked Lottie to his lap and sat her to his knee, watching in embarrassment as Lottie stretched her tiny hands out to tangle to the curls at the side of Harry’s head in fascination.

“Lottie, quit it!” Louis hissed as Harry smiled and looked to the toddler lovingly.

“Sister.” He finalized as Louis nodded, Harry turning fully to Lottie as he gathered one of her tiny hands within his own. “Hello Lottie, I’m Harry.”

“Harry.” Lottie struggled as Harry nodded and smiled gently. “Lou! Cookies!”

“Cookies?” Lou sputtered as Lottie began clapping her hands excitedly to demand she be let down from Louis’ lap.

“Cookies!”

“She wants cookies, Lou.” Tom laughed as he and the rest of the group watched Lottie tear around the kitchen on chubby legs to rip at cabinet doors and bang to the floor beneath her feet as she rolled to her belly and began crawling dramatically.

“She’s a mess.” Lou offered as Harry stuck a finger to his bowl of soup before popping it to his mouth, his eyes settling to Louis’ as he suddenly lit with a smile.

“Making cookies could be fun!”

“Don’t take their side, Harry! We don’t have the kind you just stick on a pan-”

“There is such a thing as making them from scratch, babe.” Tom chuckled in amusement as Lou’s face shone darkly.

“Tom!”

“Cookies!” Lottie screamed as Harry leapt from his seat to squat before Lottie as he squished her cheeks between his warming hands softly.

“How about we just make them, Lottie?” Harry questioned tenderly as Lottie’s eyes widened in awe of Harry, her tummy giving a little flip as she promised she would cling to _him_ forever.

Louis crossed his arms tightly to his chest at the table to the sight as Tom quirked an eyebrow in his direction.

“You’re just going to let your sister take your little bloke like that?”

“Shut up.” Louis snapped as he too stood to look to Lou expectantly.

“You’re not serious, Louis!” Lou sighed in exasperation as Louis nodded curtly.

“You’ve not done anything else since you’ve been here, we might as well do something fun so Harry doesn’t run away again.” To the mention of his name, Harry smiled privately as he picked Lottie up within his arms, fixing her to his hip as he allowed her fingers tangle and run his curls slowly.

“Your mum is going to strangle me.” Lou sighed as she picked herself up from her chair and began gathering any ingredient she could, Louis pausing in his venture toward Harry and Lottie as his face fixed particularly.

If Harry was still here when Jay came home, would she truly see him, or would she discount it as something that were merely a coincidence in their shared minds? But it couldn’t be! Jay was a grown, miserable woman, and if Harry was there standing in the middle of her _kitchen_ , she couldn’t possibly ignore him, could she? She’d have to face the fact that she’d been wrong about the entire thing and that she’d made Louis feel like shit just for the benefit of herself feeling better when Louis was the one that was right the entire time!

Watching Harry swing Lottie gently within his arms, Louis’ cheeks caved to those dimples that shone his true inner light and wellbeing, and Louis didn’t dare look away as Harry’s eyes found his own and held him home. There was something amazing about what Harry was able to do to Louis, and Louis knew he would protect that, and though it would result in Jay’s face to light with anger and recognition to her own stubbornness and stupidity shining completely through to how wrong she’d been, Louis didn’t mind.

“You alright?” Harry whispered as he set Lottie her feet, Tom sweeping her up to his shoulder as she screeched in happiness to all the attractive men and getting her way.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” Louis smiled as Harry bumped the backs of their hands together, both boys looking in time with the other, as a loud crack of thunder seemed to shake the entire street.

“Alright, cookies.” Lou sighed as she set two step stools before the counter, Harry tugging Louis along in excitement as he stood to one and pulled Louis up next to him on the other, Lou turning back to the cabinet as she began digging. “Louis, all your mum has is peanut butter!”

“What if Harry has an allergy?” Louis demanded as he looked to Harry in question, Harry shaking his head as he fixed a tall, white chefs hat atop his curls, Louis’ lips parting in wonder as Harry smirked and reached out for the peanut butter Lou was waving around behind her.

“Well, if your little boyfriend has an allergy, I suppose you won’t be making cookies-”

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

“Peanut butter is fine!” Harry interrupted as he bumped his shoulder to Louis’; winking slightly as Louis looked to the hat lay to the counter before him that read crisp and white.

“Why’ve we got these?” Louis questioned lowly as Harry began opening bags and cracking eggs expertly as he pursed his lips together in concentration.

“Because, we’re professionals.” Harry replied simply as he looked to Louis with a sparkle in his eye. “Professionals have to wear the appropriate hats.”

Louis didn’t bother to question further as he slipped the tall hat over his fringe that he’d never bothered to do up that day, before turning back to the counter, his eyes squinting to the large and blinding white lights that shone brightly and cast shadows to Tom, Lou and Lottie as they sat to the clapping and cheering audience that watched on in wonder.

“Oh my God.” Louis giggled lightly as Harry spread flour to the counter before them, his wrist bent and pushing the hat further back to his head as he laughed loudly.

“First, we mix together the ingredients to make the cookies!” Harry announced, as his voice seemed to reverberate around the large studio, his demand immediately met with another chorus of loud cheers as Louis smirked proudly and handed over the ingredients Harry pointed to quickly to seemingly mix them together before himself _on_ the counter.

Watching Harry take the time to crack the eggs and mix the oil within the peanut butter and floured mess of sugared bundles of baking powder and magic, Louis’ mouth watering to the aroma that he could only imagine was to come.

“The mess.” Lou groaned in Tom’s ear as Tom patted her to her thigh and pressed his lips warmly to the shell of her ear.

“Have you ever seen the kid smile so much? Lighten up a bit.”

“Then we fold it!” Harry shouted as he tossed a large puff of flour to his mixture, Louis laughing wildly as Harry pushed the sticky mess toward him.

“Harry, I’m a rotten cook!”

“Just try! It’s like this!” Harry leaned to Louis’ side heavily as Louis braced them both so as to not fall, Harry’s larger palms fitting over his own as Harry’s fingers laced perfectly within his own in moving Louis’ hands around to fold into the raw egg yolks that settled within the basket of forming dough that began to take shape. “See? It’s easy.”

Louis turned his head to Harry’s breath warm to his cheek as his eyelids fluttered, Harry looking to Louis closely as he allowed his lips quirk, Tom and Lou looking to each other in curiosity as Harry slowly pulled away to hop from the step stool and begin rifling through the drawers surrounding the back counters.

“Louis, where are your forks?”

“The drawer to the right of the sink.” Louis seemed to mumbled as he concentrated to his fingers sliding and slipping through the dough that finally seemed to pull together to an acceptable beginning of a fantastic round of cookies, his mind leading him to believe he was facing a racing clock that was quickly running from time.

“Next,” Harry announced as he pounced back to his step stool next to Louis, a fork held before him as he showed it to the audience that simply went wild and raised Louis’ smile further. “We take the dough and roll it to little balls-”

“Ayo!” Tom called loudly in mock as Lou elbowed him hard, her eyes rolling to his childishness as she motioned for Harry to carry on.

“We form them to cookie shapes and press the fork to the top and sprinkle a bit of sugar.”

“That’s how they get their shape?” Louis questioned gently as Harry nodded and allowed his cheeks dent in the sweetest way that caused Louis to crush the dough ball held loosely between his fingers.

“Of course, you didn’t know?” Louis shook his head as Harry passed him the fork and showed Louis slowly how to do the crisscross lines perfectly. “Your mum never showed you?”

“My mum doesn’t have the time.” Louis uttered quietly as Harry’s fingers grew still and his forehead creased.

“Not even to make cookies?”

“Mum buys them at the shop and puts them on the table.” Louis sighed as he realized his vision of being held to a famous cooking program on television slowly faded and ebbed away as Harry’s heart dropped in sorrow. “It’s just easier that way, I suppose.”

“You’re always welcome to come and make cookies at my house, then.” Harry decided sternly as Louis looked to him in doubt.

“I can’t just come over-”

“I did.” Harry shrugged as he placed sticky fingers to either side of Louis’ mouth and pulled his lips to a smile. “My mum loves you, and there’s no reason why we wouldn’t allow you in.”

Louis’ chest swelled as Harry smiled again before jumping to riffle about the cabinets again in search of a large cookie sheet before Lou was there helping, her outfit done up as a time keeping judge as she gestured that time wouldn’t be deducted from her negligence of not truly getting everything prepared. Rolling his eyes because he wouldn’t expect Lou to be smart, even in his wildest _fantasies_ , Louis was full of energy as Harry rocketed back to his side to plop the sheet down and began tossing cookies to appropriately spaced places next to one another.

“You’re nearly out of time!” Tom shouted as Lottie began clapping her hands, Louis and Harry’s cheek growing flush to their efforts of sorting and resorting the cookies to be perfectly even as Lou turned the heat up on the oven as she leant her hip to the counter to smile to the scene as Tom jumped in to begin tossing flour about.

“Louis, we’ve almost got it!” Harry shouted in excitement as Louis picked up a handful of sugar and tossed it to the cookies lazily, the mound of sugar spreading everywhere with a loud plop as Harry knelt over on himself in his fit of laughter.

All were innocent to Harry’s skin warming as the color came to, the bags beneath his eyes slowly fading before it seemed the air was sucked from the room to the sudden slam of a handbag to the kitchen table angrily.

“What the _hell_ is going on in here?” Louis’ back instantly stiffened as Tom looked to Lou in panic, Lou stepping forward to pick Lottie out of the spilt sack of flour as Harry peeped around Louis timidly. “Who’s the clean my kitchen, then?”

“Mum-”

“Mrs. Tomlinson, I’m so sorry! We weren’t expecting you for at least another two hours and we were going to clean up immediately-” Lou was hesitant as Jay fixed Tom within her glare, Lou’s skin growing clammy as fear engulfed her completely through. “He’s just my ride-”

“Here two hours early?” Jay replied skeptically as she raised an eyebrow and stepped toward the counter Louis and Harry were still stood at, Tom stepping quietly away as Jay’s face clouded to the utter chaos and destruction.

“Mum, we were going to clean.” Louis snipped angrily to the fact that Jay had come at such an inconvenient time to ruin quite literally _everything_ , the studio and audience long gone and switched to the back of his mind to linger as only a fleeting thought; an impossible dream to never get back.

“ _You_ should know better.” Jay snapped as she turned angry eyes to Louis only to suck in a sharp breath as Harry smiled to her sweetly through smudges of flour and peanut butter to his cheeks. “And who is this? Are there any others hiding about the house that shouldn’t be?”

“Mrs. Tomlinson-”

“Mum, _this_ is Harry!” Louis shouted, his hand latching to Harry’s as if on instinct to Jay’s sudden furrow of the brow and her tightly pursed lips. “This is Harry, and he’s real.”

The room dawned quietly as Lottie began sucking her fingers nervously, Tom running his hands through his hair as Jay watched Harry closely, Harry’s eyes never leaving her own as she felt a spark of _recognition_ to his wide, clear eyes; a spark of familiarity.

“This is Harry.”

“’M Harry?” Harry questioned with a soft laugh as he raised his free hand in a gentle wave, Louis’ fingers squeezing about his other as Jay shifted her weight before looking between the two.

“Louis, is he wearing your clothes?”

“He was all wet when he got here, so Lou and I toweled him off and got him something warm to wear.” Louis explained fiercely as Jay looked to Lou who seemed to melt into the floor. “We did a good thing-”

“Does your mum know you’re here, Harry?” Harry hesitated as Jay stood around the counter directly opposite to raise her eyebrows.

“No, ma’am.” Harry mumbled quietly as Jay nodded tightly, taking notice of the little chain peeking from about the collar of Louis’ jumper hung from Harry’s shoulders as she pointed a finger first to Harry before jabbing it to the space in front of her.

“Mum-”

“Hush, Louis.” Jay snapped as she again looked to Harry who quickly untangled his fingers from Louis’ before hopping from the step stool to stand bravely before Jay who gently hooked a finger to the chain around his neck before lightly pulling the hidden tag from beneath. “Will your mum be home?”

“Uhm, she should be by now?” Harry hinted quietly as Jay squatted slowly to read over the numbers printed before again standing and reaching for the phone perched on the wall near the doorway, turning sharply on her heel as she looked to each individual face of every guilty party.

“Clean it up.”

“But mum, the cookies!” Louis begged as Lottie began chanting again, oblivious to the situation that had just happened as Louis jumped to Lou’s arms wrapping about his middle and lowering him to the floor.

“Here Louis, I’ll just put them in the fridge. Maybe you’ll be able to make them later, yeah?” Lou sighed sadly as she tossed an apologetic look to Tom who began wiping Lottie’s hands and arms off before sweeping up the flour.

“Yeah, maybe.” Louis sighed as Harry rounded the counter to stand before him, Louis opening his mouth to comfort Harry before he was cut short to Harry’s arms wrapping tightly about his neck, his head slightly bowed as he pressed his face to Louis’ neck.

“I don’t want to go.” Harry whimpered as Louis soothed a hand softly down his spine, his mind working quickly.

“You can just stay here for the night, then-”

“My mum won’t let me, Louis. I wasn’t supposed to leave the house, much less travel all the way here.” Harry pulled away as his eyes traced the wood grain of the floors beneath his bare toes. “She’s going to be angry.”

“Then I’ll hide you.” Louis promised as he gripped Harry’s hand tightly and pulled, Harry hesitant as he looked to Tom comforting Lou quietly as large tears tracked her cheeks over the counter she scrubbed spotless in effort of earning back good graces. “Come on!”

Harry gave to Louis’ persistence as he was stole down the hallway, Jay heard by both of them from pacing in the front room as she quietly chatted to another woman at the end of another line. Without fail, Louis’ feet worked faster as he finally pulled Harry back to his room, slamming the door behind them as he pushed Harry toward the bed to pull the dresser back before the door. Standing back from his work, Louis knew it wouldn’t keep Jay out if she wanted to come in, but it was always worth a try.

“Louis.” Harry whispered to Louis’ back, Louis turning and flopping on the bed next to Harry as he sat tightly to Harry’s side, a slick of fear running to his stomach as he felt slightly nauseous to what he knew was to come. “I’m sorry, Louis. This is all my fault-”

“No, I _want_ you to be here.” Louis corrected as Harry shook his head and smirked, nudging to Louis’ knee with his own as he looked to Louis in understanding.

“I should’ve asked my mum to call yours.”

“Well, I’ll be glad when we’re old enough to just see each other without it being such a massive problem!” Louis growled as he heard Jay’s voice moving about the house, a quick slam of the front door signaling either a leaving or coming as his heart picked up pace.

“You’re ready to be grown up?” Harry questioned cryptically as Louis shrugged offhandedly and looked to Harry from the corner of his eye.

“Aren’t you?”

“Nah, I fancy being a kid for a while longer. When you grow up you lose that spark and your happiness, I suppose.” Harry shrugged as Louis listened timidly to the steps that approached his door before moving away again. “It seems so sad to be grown up.”

“Maybe you’ll be able to stay the night and we’ll take you home tomorrow.” Louis whispered as he laid his head to Harry’s shoulder, Harry heavily resting his head to top of Louis’ as he sighed to the perfect thought.

“It seems like a bit much to ask for at this point.”

“Is it?”

“Well, your mum seems pretty put off about me being here, so I think asking to stay the night would cause her to lose herself-”

“She’s irrational.” Louis criticized as he and Harry both jumped to a frantic ringing of the doorbell, Louis’ fingers gripping to Harry’s thigh as he looked toward his window in thought, the rain still pattering to the cold glass seeming to grow louder with the furthering effort of the storm ceasing to give up.

“Louis, just be still.” Harry soothed as he brought Louis back to sit from the standing position he jumped to quickly, Louis looking to Harry accusingly as Harry nodded and smiled, wrapping an arm about Louis’ waist gently as Louis nearly melted into his side.

“But I don’t want you to go.” Louis sighed pitifully as he felt the tears well up to the inner corners of his eyes, feet in the hallway turning over his stomach. “I know if you do I won’t see you for a while.”

Harry smoothed a hand to Louis’ hair as his skin grew sallow, his eyes reigning empty again as he knew he couldn’t disagree with Louis’ claim to something they’d both known would’ve happened inevitably.

“Louis, Harry’s mum is here.” Jay called from the other side of the door as she slowly swung it open to knock loudly to the dresser.

“Harry?” Anne called as Harry sighed to Louis’ hair, taking a fleeting second to press his lips to Louis’ temple as Louis looked to him sadly.

“Just a second-” Jay busied herself in apologizing quietly to Anne as she reached a long arm into Louis’ room like a _tentacle_ to move away the dresser, giving a light shove as it moved effortlessly from her way before the door was swung completely open, Louis watching as Anne’s chest heaved a great sigh of relief to Harry sitting small and pale in a strange house. “-Been inseparable since I’ve come in early.”

“Bless you for calling though, truly! I returned home and I only found one child.” Harry stiffened as Anne promptly walked to the bed before snatching him up by his wrist and pulling Harry to her chest, her eyes quickly closing in relief as she smoothed his hair back from his face. “You’re not to ever leave like that again, do you understand?”

“I’m sorry.” Harry muttered quietly as he looked to his bare feet, Anne looking over her son in the out-of-place clothing as she soon found Harry’s dried clothes lying to the floor. Turning to Jay, Anne stood as she gathered Harry to her chest, his head resting to her shoulder as she motioned to his back.

“I’m so sorry about the inconvenience, I’ll have the clothes washed and drive them over myself-”

“Oh, don’t worry about it! I just hope he doesn’t catch cold, poor thing!” Jay crowed lightly as she and Anne smiled, Louis quickly standing from the bed as his eyes widened to the black shadow zipping past his bedroom window.

“Mum, Harry can’t leave!” Louis spoke up as Jay looked to him in warning. “Mum!”

“Louis, you’ve made enough trouble for tonight-”

“Mum, you have to listen!” Louis rushed to her leg as he began pulling to her _scrubs_ lightly, Jay fixing a hand tightly to his shoulder as she moved them both from Anne’s way as Anne laughed and patted Harry’s back as he trembled to the well of tears flooding his cheeks silently.

“They’ve got a connection, these two.” Anne mused as Jay’s grip tightened to Louis’ shoulder as she rolled her eyes and laughed, holding Louis behind her as they followed Anne and a blubbering Harry to the front door slowly.

“It’s strange, really! Louis just came home talking of him one day and has been crazy about him ever since!” Anne laughed as she rubbed to Harry’s back and nodded, turning once at the door as Harry raised his head to twist and look back to Louis pitifully, Louis’ heart shattering within his chest as the hole of his middle flared up to a white-hot, blinding pain that numbed him through completely.

“You should hear this one go on, never ending, really! But, thank you again for calling! I thought he’d just been out playing but he didn’t come to my calls!” Harry gave a tiny hiccup as Louis fought against Jay’s grip, Anne opening their front door as Louis lurched to the tall, lurking dark figure that was stood directly to the other side, the breath emanating from it’s long, dangerous muzzle curling before drawn lips as Louis shook to the fangs that resembled two horns that still stood tall and evil.

“It was nothing, I’m just glad he was _here_ and not elsewhere-”

“Mum, he can’t leave!” Louis shouted suddenly as the red eyes connected to his, a jolt running his body as Harry turned a wide-eyed glance to where Louis watched only to cower to Anne’s front, Anne clutching him tighter as Louis began shoving and pushing from Jay’s hand. “Mum, it’s out there! The monster is out there!”

“Louis, stop it!” Jay demanded as she held Louis tightly, Harry’s loud, wailing sobs echoing through the front entrance as Anne began to bounce on her heels to look to Jay in apology.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware it was this big of a deal!”

“No, its just Louis being overdramatic-”

“It’s right there!” Louis screamed as he fought, the monster slinking seemingly gone in a flash as Harry tried to reach to him, Anne waving apologetically to Jay as she held fast.

“If he shows up again, please call me?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Jay shouted to Louis’ persistent screams as Anne turned into the rain, Louis’ feet kicking from beneath him as Jay fought to bring him away from the door clutched within his hands, Louis watching through the tears that fell wetly to his arms stretched before him as he followed the monster crouched to all fours weave dangerously through the grass; _stalking_ Harry as if its prey.

“Mum, he can’t leave! It’s out there!” Louis begged as Jay hugged him tightly about the middle and heaved him from the door, her hair unraveling as her own tears of frustration rose to Lottie’s terrified screams ringing from the doorway of the living room to her right. “ _Mum_!”

“Louis, it’s not that bad!” Jay promised as Louis wailed and kicked, the front door swinging shut to Louis’ last vision of the monster sliding to the backseat of Anne’s car next to Harry fighting from his place next to the window, buckled next to the monster who ran a long, sharpened claw down his cheek stained red with the blood beneath slicked skin that rose in terror.

“Harry! Mum, no! It’s going to _kill_ Harry!” Louis kicked from her grip as he slammed his face to the wooden floor, Jay worrying over top of him as Louis’ fingers clawed toward the front door that was already shut to forever expose Harry to the perils of the world and the demons that longed to eat him alive.

How Louis wished he were grown up.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	10. A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Men of ill judgment ignore the good that lies within their hands ‘till they have lost it, for courage is at most what it takes to stand up and speak, but to _also_ listen.”

  
  


[Pure As Snow](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co5gy_2uOEY)

 

 

Louis had woken the next morning to the smell of freshly baked cookies, but it only made him feel sick. There was nothing he wanted to do that day but lay in bed until he heard his stepfather leave for his weekly business trip to London and Jay move to the front room so he could scale out his window and flee to the security of Harry’s room amid the drawings and books that he’d come to realized he sorely _missed_. And yet of course, Louis’ wish was not taken into consideration as he’d hoped, instead rolling quickly to face the wall and squeezing his eyes shut as Jay came to his room the instant his stepfather was only five minutes gone.

She’d tried to speak and reach out to touch Louis’ arm that poked from beneath the duvet, but Louis had simply rolled closer to the wall and shoved away from her soft plea. He didn’t care to the affliction flashing across her cheeks or the swollen and puffy bags beneath her eyes as she’d sat up all night crying to the thought of the sheer terror lit to Louis’ eyes to something she _hadn’t_ been able to see. She would never understand, and Louis wasn’t going to spend any further time in trying to explain to her something she would never open her mind in the comprehension of it being real. Louis had watched that _thing_ stalk Harry, and as real as Harry was in tangling their fingers together sweetly while walking quietly through the woods or crying sadly to Anne’s shoulder, Louis knew that monster was going to kill him.

So, Louis lay; for three hours he lay in thought. It wasn’t how he’d wanted to spend his weekend, but he wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to do. He knew what he _wanted_ to do, though. Louis wanted nothing more than to properly dress himself, walk out the front door and march straight to Harry’s house to lock them both away to Harry’s imagination where Harry would never be threatened or harmed again.

Blinking to the soreness of his eyes being open for so long, Louis woke from the light sleep his soul had fallen into as he licked his dried and cracked lips that still burned to the salt of his tears that had settled from his thrashing throughout the early morning hours. Almost as if on queue, like she’d be sitting and waiting in anticipation to make sure Louis was still alive, Jay slowly opened Louis’ bedroom door to tiptoe to his bed only to perch lightly to the edge of the mattress.

“Louis? Sweetheart, are you awake?” Louis drew his eyebrows tightly as Jay touched to the middle of his shoulder blades, her face muddled as she sighed lowly. “Louis, I know you’re angry with me, but at least tell me what you’re angry about.”

“You didn’t believe in him.” Louis grounded out to a thick voice as his hands balled to fists, the sheets strangled to his grasp as Jay faltered.

“But I do now-”

“And now you won’t believe me that something is after him!” Louis hissed as he quickly sat and looked to Jay, Jay frowning in return as she let her hand drop to the bed between them.

“But, I didn’t _see_ anything.” Louis rolled his eyes as he scoffed loudly, tossing the duvet from his feet as he leapt from bed and began digging through his dresser frantically. “Louis, just stop it for a second and talk to me!”

“What’s the use if you won’t listen to me? I’m telling you what’s wrong, and you’re not bothering to listen!” Louis quickly gathered together an outfit that didn’t have to match or matter as he zipped to the hallway and managed to shut and lock the bathroom door behind him as he stripped to Jay’s sigh and pinch of the bridge of her nose to the other side of the door.

“I baked those cookies you and Harry made.” Louis’ head popped through the collar of his jumper as he looked toward the door slowly. “They’re really good, and I can call Anne and see if she’d mind if you were to bring some over.”

Jumping into his trousers, Louis was careful in opening the bathroom door as Jay leaned to her arm and watched him with an understanding smile.

“They were Harry’s work anyways.” Louis snipped as he worked beneath her arm and headed for the front door in search of an old pair of runners and socks.

“Well, he made really good ones- Louis! You can’t just go over there, wait!” Jay was quick to grab Louis by the sleeve of his jumper as Louis sighed in agitation.

“Anne didn’t mind the last time!”

“You’ve been _inside_ their house before?” Jay quirked an eyebrow as Louis nodded slowly.

“Harry invited me inside, as I invited him inside ours.”

A drawn silence fell as Jay bit to her bottom lip, Lottie clapping in excitement to the television blaring to the front room as Jay quickly dipped into the kitchen to return with a small, wrapped plate of settled cookies as Louis managed to his runners.

“Take these then, but I need you to come straight back, yeah? I have to work later and Mark will be home to watch you and Lottie since we’ve not got anyone else yet.” Louis’ face curled in disappointment as he stood forward to rip the plate away, his eyes squinting in disbelief before turning away and slinking from Jay’s touch to his shoulder. “Louis, I mean it-”

“Alright!” Louis snapped as he clung to the front knob, Jay tossing her hands above her head before allowing them to slap back to her thighs in the way all mothers seemed to do in showing their frustrations to their children.

“Are you just going to be angry at me forever about it? I’m allowing you to go take Harry his cookies; I’m not keeping you away even after you all wrecked my kitchen to Hell! And as for that Lou, she had to be dealt with properly as I saw fit-”

“You’re miserable.” Louis bit as Jay’s mouth hung agape slightly to his bitter tone, Louis turning away before tossing a final thought over his shoulder. “And I’ll never behave for another babysitter.”

  
  


Kicking to the tiny rivers of water flooding the street, Louis was anxious and yet terrified to break to the main road as he listened to the soft crunch of the rocks, gravel and sod beneath his shoes. It was a quiet day in the neighborhood, and while Louis knew there was nothing that he had to be sad about, he couldn’t wipe the overwhelming feeling of dread that swept him completely through to his feet. Everything had come along too perfectly, everything had managed to his liking, and life wasn’t like that. Life wasn’t mean to be so easy and so simple in Louis getting to keep Harry and Lou and a peace with his mum, because since when was that fair?

Breaking through the tree line to his normal path, Louis reveled to the quiet of the trees engulfing him in whole. It was as if the entirety of the woods spoke of Harry and adventures he’d had that Louis probably didn’t even know about, and it made him happy. It was a funny thing, to realize that someone could make you feel so many different things at once, and that in these feelings; you’re willing to overcome and do anything for this person simply for the sanctity of feeling _complete_. Smiling to the sad looking plate held within his hands, Louis didn’t have to worry over falling to his face or dodging low hanging branches as he found the clearing with ease and determination, his face turned toward the house that sat as a warm beacon in the dreariness of the day’s weather as he started for the winding stairs that led to the backdoor that Louis found crawling further from him the closer he sought.

A subtle sort of nervousness crept to the forefront of his mind as Louis thought of the last time he’d stood within the doorway of the Styles’ kitchen. Snorting to the name he’d not used since hearing it uttered to a castle in the faraway hills to the plains of Harry’s mind, Louis bit back the feeling of dread that again reached up to muddle his thoughts and twist his stomach as he let a shaky and cold hand reach for the doorknob to twist, only to be met with _nothing_.

Frowning to how obtuse it was, Louis tried the knob again only to blush to the embarrassment that Anne would just allow her backdoor be unlocked for Louis to come and go as he pleased, Louis taking a large step back before wobbling forward to knock quickly. Clutching tighter to the plate that shivered in his grasp, Louis bounced to the balls of his feet as he listened for a movement inside, keeping his eyes downcast from the windows overhead in fear that he was again to see that disgusting shade of scarlet that was sure to be watching back and dripping in the rain.

Waiting in patience to the rain that slowly began to fall faster from overhead without the cover of heavy canopy and puddling to the plastic cling covering the baked goods, Louis allowed his hand to knock a final time before his throat was closing and his eyes were burning. It was just as the other days he’d come back previously in search of Harry only to find the house a sealed fort without promise of entry or life. And it was embarrassing, to say the least because what had he expected?

Biting to his bottom lip until a tiny trickle of blood fled to his tongue, Louis spun on the toes of his runners as he turned for the staircase before he was stilled to the quick unlocking and yanking away of the backdoor.

“Louis?”

“Hi, Mrs. Styles.” Louis greeted sweetly as Anne frowned to his flushed face and wet fringe, the backdoor pressed tightly to her side as she smiled in a pitying way.

“Louis, it’s Anne, don’t be silly. What are you doing here in the rain?” Louis shrugged as he held the plate out to Anne’s confused expression.

“Well, Harry was baking these and my mum finished them up this morning and I thought I’d bring them over and see how he’s doing?” Anne’s face fell first sweetly, before a further look of understanding and sadness.

“Louis, babe, while this is all sweet, I’m so sorry to say Harry won’t be able to play today.”

Louis’ world seemed to tip on edge as he dug the toe of his shoe to the wood of the floorboards beneath his wavering stance; his head bowed as he nodded slowly and gulped away the disappointment.

“Will he-” Louis raised his head in time to catch a flash of red to Anne’s shoulder as his lips grew cold and still, Anne sighing in drawn concern as she turned to lay the plate to the counter behind her, allowing Louis passage to the darkened shadow laid to the opposite wall, _watching_ him carefully.

“Today’s just not a good day, alright? I’ll have Harry bring over the plate in a few days.”

“A few days.” Louis deadpanned quietly as Anne nodded, her hands slowly working the backdoor shut bit-by-bit as Louis again swallowed the sadness that threatened to drag him under.

“Do you need a ride home?”

“No, I’ll be fine.” Louis whispered as he raised his eyes to Anne a final time before he slowly turned away, Anne’s heart giving a painful squeeze as she reached a hand to Louis’ back before pulling away, not wanting to chance anything.

“Louis, it wouldn’t hurt to get you home _dry_ -”

“Mum, is that Louis?” A voice called frantically as Louis paused in his decent to the stairs, Anne looking to Harry carefully as she caught him round the middle to Harry’s ripping away of the back door. “Louis!”

Louis turned to look to Harry slowly, his lips quirking to a gentle smile as he took in Harry still wearing Louis’ jumper, his hair a mess as his eyes flitted nervously to Louis’ retreating figure.

“Louis, what are you doing? You’re soaked! Mum-”

“Harry, not today.” Anne reprimanded slowly as Harry craned his head back to look to his mother incredulously.

“Are you mad? It’s freezing! Were you just not going to tell me he’d come by? Louis, wait!” Harry made to step forward as Anne again held him back, Louis looking between them sadly as he read the determination in Anne’s face that he leave. “I was just reading and I noticed you’d come, and you can come in and read too if you’d like-”

“Harry, Louis has to go-”

“You’re not serious, he walked all the way here!” Louis frowned as he turned and took a few steps quickly, Harry’s shout of frustration met to his ears as Louis chanced a final glance back to find Harry fighting Anne’s grip, Anne’s eyes flashing dangerously as she hoisted Harry from his feet. “Mum, he came to see _me_!”

Louis was heartbroken to Harry’s panicked cries as he listened to Harry’s tears splatter loudly to the perfectly waxed kitchen floors, Anne’s soft and soothing apologies seeming to echo about the clearing as Louis finally broke to soft soil and crushed leaves as he never dared to look back. Jumping to the snap of the backdoor shutting, _shutting him out_ , Louis let his jumper sleeve raise to his cheeks as he tried his best to stifle the hiccupping cries and coughs that issued to the immense well of despair that filtered his gut.

Louis didn’t want to go home and wallow, Louis simply wanted to lay about Harry’s floor while avoiding Ginger and reading Anne’s stolen books of poetry and big words that made no sense. Louis wanted to nestle beneath Harry’s weight on top of him and Louis wanted to catch Harry sniffing the collar of Louis’ jumper as he snuggled to the warmth and familiarity of the likeness of such a kindred soul like his own, but it was all hopeless. Allowing the tears to find their place openly, Louis didn’t bother to conceal his pain as he slowly trudged to the main road, his head bowed as his fringe plastered to his neck, a giant sigh heaving from his chest as he wondered what he’d done wrong to deserve something so miserable.

Sniffling and cold, Louis somehow found his way home and through the front door as he kicked his shoes off and headed straight for the living room, flopping to the carpet next to Lottie as she slept soundly on her stomach with her thumb pressed loosely between her lips.

“Louis?” Jay called, as Louis kept quiet, his hands folded over his stomach as he watched the ceiling with intent of simply rising from the floor and floating away. “Louis, why didn’t you answer me?”

Swallowing was hard at this point, Louis’ face crumpling in pain as he rolled to his side as he let a loud sob fall from his lips, Jay rushing from the doorway to gather Louis to her chest as Lottie simply rolled to her other side in annoyance of being disturbed.

“Louis-”

“She wouldn’t let me see him!” Louis whimpered as Jay began wiping away his tears and smoothing the fringe from his face. “He was right there, and she told me I wasn’t to see h-him!”

“Maybe it just wasn’t the appropriate time, Lou.”

“What does that even mean?” Louis snapped as he tried to shove from Jay’s chest, Jay holding him firm as Louis swiped angrily to the tears that exposed his weakness. “Why is there a right time to see anybody?”

“Maybe Harry’s being punished for not asking to come over here the other night.” Jay shrugged softly as she went about stroking Louis’ hair in thought. “You can’t argue with another mum in doing what she thinks is right-”

“Mums don’t know a lot of things.” Louis grumbled as Jay looked to him incredulously.

“Louis William Tomlinson, if anybody knows a little boy best, it’d be his mum!” Louis rolled his eyes as he moved from Jay’s touch, flopping to the couch to stretch his legs gratefully as Jay rolled Lottie to her arms, _craving_ for someone to accept her comfort.

“Mums don’t believe anything they can’t see or touch.”

“That’s not true-” Louis fixed Jay to a stern look as she squinted her eyes and gave a slight cock of the head. “Some things are just so far fetched-”

“I thought you had to work.” Louis interrupted rudely as he rolled to his other side, his eyes tracing the threads of the fabric of the couch as Jay smirked and rolled her own eyes to his obvious discontent of her stubbornness.

“I’ve decided to take the day off-”

“Wonderful.”

“-To spend it with _you_.” Louis looked over his shoulder as Jay smiled hopefully.

“You shouldn’t have taken off of work, mum.” Jay readjusted Lottie as she moved the hair back from her eyes and smiled hopefully to the slight twinge of sarcasm shining through Louis’ oppressive and dark demeanor.

“Come off it, Louis. Just sit and talk with me about things, I truly _want_ to understand-”

“Understand what?” Louis snapped as he sat up and turned to face Jay, wiping his cheeks again in anger as he thought to Harry’s tiny, crumpled face as Anne’s claws had sunk further to the flesh of his skin to rip him inside from the imposing outside world. “I’ve told you literally anything and everything I could, and you’ll not believe me.”

“Well, start off with the monster.” Louis’ skin crawled in response.

“What about it?”

“Well, you said it was going to kill Harry, but you weren’t upset until Anne had come to pick Harry up.” Louis’ widened his eyes to Jay’s oblivious stupidity. “Why did it only begin then, I mean if this monster wanted Harry, why wasn’t it in the house as well?”

“It doesn’t come here, like in the house.” Jay frowned as Louis’ eyes glazed over in thought to the truly disgusting nature of the dark and wretched thing. “It just kind of circles Harry’s house until he returns and climbs in through one of the windows.”

Jay’s skin crawled as Louis thought of the nature of the question, the truth immediately ringing through in the thought that though he’d always been with Harry near Harry’s house, the monster had never tried to take Harry away until _Anne_ had come into the picture, Louis’ lips parting in wonder as he looked to Jay’s bewildered expression.

“There’s a thing that’s crawling in Harry’s windows? And you were over at his house?”

“I don’t think it likes me because I can see it as well.” Louis bit toughly to his bottom lip as he stomached the vision of what Harry must’ve been doing in that moment.

“But, why not our house?”

“I don’t think it can.” Louis shrugged as Jay frowned further, rocking Lottie to her chest as her heart raced a little bit faster to the absurd and frightening things coming from her son’s mouth.

“And why not?”

“Because Anne isn’t here.” Jay froze immediately as Louis realized his thought spoken, his eyes settling to Jay’s quietly as he measured his next statement. “Harry has bruises on his arms and he won’t tell me why. I think the monster is what’s giving them to him, but the monster only ever comes around when Anne is stepping in-”

“Louis, that’s enough.” Jay snapped as she stood and laid Lottie to the couch behind her, Louis’ eyes widening in disbelief as he stood.

“Do you see-”

“No, enough! You’re making a heavy implication, and it’s utter rubbish!”

“What if it’s not!” Louis shouted as Jay turned on him quickly and jabbed a finger to his chest in warning.

“Do _not_ share that thought with anyone else, do you understand me? You can get people in a lot of trouble with making up ridiculous claims like that.”

“It’s not ridiculous!” Louis demanded as Jay turned and sped from the room, Louis nipping to her heels, as he grew angrier by the second. “Something is after Harry, and it’s like everyone knows except for me!”

“I’m not talking about this anymore.” Jay muttered as she began rustling around in the kitchen, Louis looking to her in disbelief as he frowned in discontent.

“So, you’ll just ignore everything I have to say-”

“No-”

“-And then when I turn out to be right, you’ll apologize and wish you’d have listened!” Jay smacked her hands to the counter as she fixed Louis to a stern and final glare.

“It’s all made-up, Louis! You can’t just accuse Anne of something that disgusting without actually seeing it! And making up some fantasy monster because Harry’s got a few bruises is low of you! Do you understand? I’m sure if you told Harry the same thing you told me, he’d be upset with you as well.” Louis paused as Jay’s face crossed further. “Honey, you have to _stop_.”

“What have I done wrong?” Louis mumbled as Jay stopped to the quiver in his voice, watching in regret as Louis’ eyes welled quickly with tears that fled his cheeks. “Why won’t she let me see him, then? I’m not a bad person, mum!”

“I don’t think you are!” Jay rushed to Louis’ front as she struggled to pick him to her chest, her hand rubbing down his back as Louis was finally able to let the overwhelming force of his sadness pour to the shoulder of her shirt, Jay rocking and bouncing Louis as best as she could as she took note of her growing son.

What was she supposed to do now that Louis was old enough to feel pain? Of course he was still a child and always a baby in her eyes, but with her hand flattened to his back Jay knew Louis was crumbling and breaking at the seams and there wasn’t a damn thing could be done.

Who was this odd little boy that had taken Louis over so quickly, and why had it happened? And why of all the things and horrible ordeals that she’d dealt with daily, why wasn’t she able to stomach the thought of some disgusting monster lurking around a house Louis had been inside of?

“I’ll never think you’re a bad person.” Jay soothed as Louis laid his cheek to her shoulder, falling limp within her arms as he longed for Harry’s voice and that special laugh that brought light through any darkness. “I don’t know why you’re so drawn to this little boy, but it must be something special, but I think you’ve grown too attached too quickly and it’s not healthy. I don’t believe there’s a monster, and to say anyone’s mum would be so cruel is unheard of and I don’t want to hear anymore about it, yeah? That woman was worried sick in coming over in search of her son, and I don’t want to hear another bad thing about it. I’d hope if you were ever silly enough to do it, that she would call me as well.”

“You’ll never understand.” Louis whispered as he shook his head slightly, Jay patting to his back as she slowly transferred Louis back to the living room to plop him to the couch softly next to Lottie, standing to give her back a break from the weight she’d not anticipated.

“Louis, monsters don’t exist.” Louis closed his eyes in defeat as he sat back to the couch, Lottie stretching out and kicking his thigh from the way as Jay handed Louis the remote for the television. “Just, watch a bit of the telly to get your mind off of things, yeah? Have some snacks-”

Louis looked to the packet of crisps being handed to him that had been rolled and clipped upon the coffee table as he turned doubtful eyes to the pooch protruding just beneath his jumper.

“Mum, I don’t think I should eat so many crisps anymore.”

“Why?” Jay marveled as she reveled in the slight distraction that read to Louis’ face that he hadn’t forgotten and wouldn’t soon be persuaded otherwise.

“I look like a balloon round the middle.”

“Louis, you’re still a baby! All babies have a bit round the middle-”

“Harry doesn’t, and I’m sure Anne makes sure of it.” Jay’s mild temper was instantly shot back to shit as Louis fixed her to a smart-ass look before tossing his feet to the coffee table, his fingers flicking to the television remote as he searched for anything that would cause her to leave faster as the crisps were tossed to the coffee table only to fly off the other side.

“I think it’d be best if you just come straight home next week after primary, yeah? Other than footie practice.”

“Why?” Louis demanded as Jay turned from the room to hide the anger visibly bloomed to her cheeks.

“Because I’m the monster of _this_ house and I said so.”

“Well, you can at least call your _best mate_ and ask how Harry’s doing!” Louis snapped as Jay looked to him enraged.

“Just go to your room!”

“Until you come beating at the door!” Louis snarked back as he shoved from the couch to breeze past, Jay catching him hard to the bum as Louis turned a guilty and panicked look her way as he noticed the _fire_ to her eye.

“Until you’ve stopped being a moody little shit about some boy that you won’t even be friends with months from now! Go!”

Balling his hands tightly to fists, Louis stomped to his room as he again began to sniffle away the tears that loomed, threatening to showcase his weakness in the fact that he was completely and utterly alone in this impossible and ridiculous effort of saving Harry. It wasn’t all that mad, was it? Louis and Harry couldn’t both be crazy, and yet there was the fact that Harry had made a real life, humongous dragon appear to real life from a stuffed animal sat on his bed.

Jumping to the middle of his mussed blankets, sheets and duvet, Louis didn’t even bother to conceal his loud shout of frustration to how truly stupid his mother was being. If she had a concern or a fear, Louis knew he would listen! But as it stood, he was only a child and what he thought didn’t matter, because who was honestly going to listen to a kid? Sliding a hand beneath his pillow, Louis’ fingers gripped to the hard, thin cover of the book that he’d always loved from the second he’d first seen the intricately and imaginative cover.

“ _Where The Wild Things Are_ ,” Louis mused quietly as he traced over the great beast slumped over in thought to the cover. “I’ll never have that good of an imagination, but if I did, I would run away as well.”

Wondering what Harry was doing with a sigh, Louis rolled to his back as he squeezed the book tightly to his chest, furrowing his forehead tightly as he remembered Harry’s coaxing in trying to get Louis to allow himself to let go in giving in to his imagination. How he wished he could’ve been the little boy Max, his eyes shutting tighter and tighter until Louis was seemingly swimming to thousands of little stars that blossomed about his vision.

“You’ll hurt yourself if you’re not careful.” A voice gruffed as Louis froze; his eyes nearly peeling from his head as he locked to a large figure huddled to the end of his bed. “Be careful, Louis. If you lose thought, I’ll not be able to stay long.”

“But- Carol?” Louis’ head nearly turned as he thought of how truly absurd it all was becoming. “You’re a character in a book!”

“You’re just having a bit of a light dream, mate, but I’d think you’d bet on me over that ruddy bastard just beyond your window.” Louis’ heart leapt to his throat as he jumped, coming from the haze of the consciousness between being truly awake and momentarily dead with sleep as the book flew up to smack him to the nose.

“Damn it.” Louis repeated quietly as his eyes flew to his bedroom door in anticipation of Jay storming in to box him round the ears at any moment for his language of choice, the book flying from his fingers to clatter to the floor next to his bed as Louis settled back within his warm nest.

Without much to do and the storm picking up pace outside, Louis found it wasn’t worth the struggle in bothering to explain to anyone else the mystery and the concern about Harry, because there was something going on and Louis knew it. Allowing his eyes slip closed to the warmth and comfort flowing to his chest as Louis gathered a fistful of the duvet to his grasp, a screech to his window nearly shook him ill as his stomach knotted uncomfortably and his head began to pound.

Sure, it had been a stupid flash of his imagination and absolute rubbish, but what if Louis was trying to _warn_ himself? Sitting quickly to the tapping that sounded as though it were going to break the glass, Louis slowly crept to the side of his bed to peek around the bedpost only to be frozen in place as his lips trembled to a silent scream of absolute terror and fright. There, just placed to the other side of the glass bore a large pair of angry and truly devilish eyes, the irises slit like those of a cat as they expanded to focus fully to Louis as long, black fur matted to a pair of horns worn as a dark crown symbolizing the ugliness that clung just beyond the reach of the day’s light.

“Go away.” Louis squeaked as his knees clattered together, his stomach heaving dryly as a long, forked _tongue_ licked up the middle of the glass to expose what looked to be thousands of rows of sharpened fangs swirling inside a molten pit of fire and deprivation. “Go away.”

Louis was going to piss himself and he was sure of it, his heart clouding out all sound other than the grinding of the claws to the glass of his bedroom window as those eyes watched his every movement, the dirtied and cracked paws smacking to the sill in desire and begging to come in from the rain.

“Go away, you won’t have me.” Louis pleaded as he began to scoot to his bum for the door, his eyes wet with tears as the monster beyond his window froze and took alight to a peculiar look that absolute froze Louis in stunned shock; it was a look of _mischief_.

“ _You can’t let it in.”_ A voice seemed to coax to the back of Louis’ mind as Louis willed Harry’s presence, a wind seeming to lift the matted hair of the beast’s massive head before it was just gone. “ _Louis, you can’t let it in or it will **destroy** you!_ ”

“Mum!” Louis screamed suddenly as a hiss sounded from beneath his bed that seemed to reverberate about his entire room, the doorknob within his hands and quickly flying away as Louis slipped and smacked his chin to the floor of the hallway before clawing his way back to his feet. “Mum, it’s gotten in the house!”

“What?” Jay snapped as she leaned her head from the kitchen lazily, Lottie toddling out to meet Louis as she and her brother locked eyes in that fleeting moment that Jay grew annoyed to the interruption of the cooking program she was trying to follow along to as she disappeared again.

Maybe it was only Jay’s stubbornness, and maybe it was her anger to Louis gaining his independence, but it was wrong in that moment for Jay to completely disband to Lottie’s shrill wail and smacking of her cup to the hallway floor as she looked first to Louis, then to the giant, black mass scaling the floor behind him to lock to his ankle and drag him back to his room.

“ _Mum_!”

“Monster, bad!” Lottie screamed as she began bouncing to her feet, her panicked screams seeming to echo through the house as she watched with wide, tawny eyes to Louis’ mouth hooked behind a giant paw that ripped him to the unnatural darkness of his room before the door was slammed shut.

Rolling her eyes to her son’s obvious melodramatic antics, Jay barked that Lottie calm down and go back to watching her television program as she blew the hair back from her eyes. Mother always knows best and monsters were absolutely ridiculous and Jay _knew_ it, for after all Jay had been the one to say Harry wasn’t real either; yet _he_ was only a simple mistake.

Jay would _never_ make another.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	11. B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.”

  
  


[Thank You](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCLpmk8LYD4)

 

 

“Well, didn’t they look consistent?” Jay cut short as she looked to Louis from the corner of her eye, one hand holding the mobile to her ear as the other gripped tighter to the steering wheel in response to the spaced out look glazing over Louis’ eyes.

Louis could hear everything Jay said, and soon grew annoyed to the tiny, droning voice to the other end of the line as Jay flicked on the car’s blinker and pulled to the freeway leading back to the village.

“Of course not- I told him not to go into those woods anymore!” Jay was currently accelerating faster as her anger grew to the idiotic things coming from Mark’s mouth. “I don’t know, we were both home! He must’ve just climbed out the window or something!”

Louis shook his head slightly as he turned his back fully to Jay and lay his head to the cold window, watching the desolate landscape pass him by as he longed for the electricity of the city that slowly faded to the boot of their car. Louis’ skin still crawled to the snarl and warm breath fogging his face, as he’d been drug beneath his bed, the claws ripping to his skin as he’d curled into a ball until the next morning when Jay had come in to wake him for the bus. Of course to pulling him from beneath his bed, Jay had been adamant in denying any sort of creature lurking around in the dark because it was impossible and highly illogical to think anything of the sort; but Louis _knew_.

Louis had lain in the same spot as paws paced and clutched to the floor around the posts of the bed for hours, the realization of his forehead crammed to the wall flooding back as Louis’ stomach gripped painfully and his skin grew clammy and unbearable.

“Goddamn it, Mark! Of course he didn’t go to primary, his legs are shot to Hell and he kept telling me this story-” Jay grew quiet as Mark uttered to her ear, Lottie’s attention perking from the backseat as she too watched the large houses and fancy cars fade away to nothing as the prospect of their village grew ever nearer. “We’ll just talk about it when you get home. Yeah, I stayed home from hospital but I’ll have to be on call all night so you’ll not get to go off like we’d planned.”

Clutching his fingers tighter to the fabric of the old jumper Jay had thought to bring along, as Louis’ old clothes smelled of the woods and now a sterile and uninviting hospital, Louis slowly brought an ankle to cross over his knee. Looking fleetingly to Jay from his peripheral, Louis touched a finger gently to the white bandage that bonded tightly over his skin and concealed away the marks that would never fully dissipate. Chancing against the pain that bloomed to his movement, Louis wiggled a bit of the bandage away to lightly graze over the raised and puckered skin of the scratches and _claw_ marks marring his paled skin.

“Don’t touch them.” Jay snapped as she reached over to knock Louis’ hand away, Louis frowning in measured response as Jay flicked her mobile to the middle console and sighed. “I’m sorry for being snippy-”

“I didn’t get them in the woods.” Louis replied firmly as Jay looked to him with a furrowed expression. “I was in my room the entire night, it’s not my fault you didn’t bother to come check!”

“Louis, you went running through the woods to see Harry last night and you got caught up in some brambles-”

“I didn’t, and you weren’t even there!” Louis shouted as Jay instantly extended as hand to smack to his thigh.

“Do _not_ raise your voice to me!”

“I was screaming for you and you ignored me!” Louis shot back accusingly as he pressed himself tighter to the car door as Jay guided the car to the main road through the village, the splatter of the rain to the windshield the only sound to pass in the silence that heavily fell. “I could’ve _died_.”

“Die from running through the woods and getting a few scrapes.” Jay snorted as she rolled her eyes and raised a stiff hand in greeting to those that passed on the sidewalks before the shops and smiled in recognition.

“No, from the monster that somehow got into our _house_ -”

“For God’s sake, Louis, enough!”

Jay insured the conversation fell to nothing as she flicked the knob of the radio volume louder, Lottie taking lead in humming and babbling along to a song she fancied as Louis allowed his forehead crinkle dangerously.

It wasn’t fair when parents did this, taking everything their children said in earnest trust only to twist them into bullshit about how it could never be. What was so hard to comprehend from the fact that Louis had been cowering under his bed the entire night? He wouldn’t have had the balls to even try to escape down the hall to piss, much less gallivant through the dark! Jay _had_ to be naturally insane, and Louis decided in that moment that he was simply going to have to do for himself. He would find a sword, he would imagine a gun and he wouldn’t give in so easily this time! He was going to defeat this monster, and he was going to make sure it never terrorized him or Harry again.

“I don’t want you leaving.” Jay spoke up as the car swung to the main road, the crunch of the gravel and soft give of the muddied clay beneath squishing quietly as Louis’ eyes raked the tree line carefully. “You need to allow your ankles rest and running through the woods to play with Harry could only cause infection.”

Openly ignoring the warning, Louis’ eyes watched the careful flick of a long, scaly tail that thundered and crashed to the thin and spindly branches of the trees lying just beyond the tall grass as a faint roar met his ears, a smile spreading quietly to his lips as he longed to be there as well. Louis could imagine Harry with his sword held tightly as he waited for Louis to come home from the bus, the crown splayed messily about his curls as his cheeks flushed a bright red to the bitter cold that had come to the newly fallen rain.

Sighing in longing, Louis waited for the car to turn to his street as he watched his house climb ever closer, his hand immediately throwing the car door from his way as they rolled to a stop within the driveway. Fighting the pain of the pressure to his ankles, Louis hobbled up the front steps with a wince and curling of his mouth to every pace taken, his heart leaping to his throat at the sudden opening of the front door and his stepfather Mark’s face replacing to the darkness littered behind him.

“How’re you doing, then? Alright?” Louis nodded solemnly as Mark held out a hand to ruffle his fringe in appreciation as Louis managed to squeeze past. “Say, how about we stay out of the woods for a bit, yeah?”

“I _wasn’t_ in the woods, though.” Louis explained in exasperation as the shutting of the car door outside further shied his feet to the solidarity of his room where he was never going to turn the light out again.

“But your mum-”

“She lied.” Louis growled as he stood firmly. “Why would I have snuck out in the middle of a storm? Harry’s barely let out in the daytime!”

“Is this Harry bloke going to be a problem, Louis?” Mark questioned softly as Jay was heard growing closer, Louis’ eyes matching with her own as she paused in the doorway to allow Lottie to tumble past her to crash to Mark’s shins.

“ _Harry’s_ not the problem.” Louis held his chin a bit higher as he turned and hobbled for his room, Jay looking to Mark with a sense of disbelief to her eye as she slammed the front door shut behind her, the echo of Louis’ bedroom door doing the same flowing to them as Mark awkwardly brought Lottie to his chest as he stripped her of her coat and wellies.

“What the hell have I done?” Jay questioned with wide eyes as Mark patted Lottie’s back to the onrush of her tears of needing a snack and a juice.

“He’s just growing, Jay-”

“He’s eight.” Jay barked as she snatched away Lottie’s outer things before tossing away her coat and shoes as well. “He’s growing, but he’s also caught up in this stupid fantasy-”

“He’s trying to cope with the divorce.” Mark announced sternly as Jay brought their eyes together slowly, tucked away beneath the duvet of his bed down the hall, Louis buried himself to warmth and quiet as he brought his knees beneath his chin and traced to the bandages with his quivering fingers. “Maybe a fantasy is what he needs? Jay, he’s clearly unhappy.”

“And that’s my fault?” Jay raised her hands over her head as she felt the flush creep up her neck, her hands snatching Lottie away as she whisked her daughter to the kitchen to plop her to the counter before introducing her to a light snack.

“I never said it was, I’m just saying maybe it wouldn’t hurt to _listen_ to him!”

Jay snorted as she rolled her eyes and set Lottie back to the kitchen floor, her brooding gaze sending a flash of warmth to Mark’s spine in disgust as he gestured to Lottie to follow him to the living room to fold into one of Lottie’s favorite animated films that began to blare within the opening credits.

“They’re _stories_ and he believes them-” Jay tossed to Mark’s retreating back as she leaned heavily to her palms resting on the kitchen counter, Mark’s chest heaving with a sigh as he rested his own hand to the wall only to cast a dark look to Jay about his shoulder with his final thought before sitting with Lottie to the floor in front of the television.

“If you don’t listen eventually, you’ll grow to be an old, miserable woman.”

  
  


It was weird in that oblivion between sleep and consciousness, and as Louis began to lift from his body to the drugs coursing his veins hotly, it was no mystery as to why he saw the things he did. It was every parent’s solution to fix their children with any sort of pill that they found would take the edge away and make their child seem normal, but what if it didn’t? What if it only pushed their children further to the recesses of their mind because their security could no longer be sought in those that were meant to uphold their promises in protecting them from the world?

Even as children, we live these expectations that we know we’ll never fully live up to, and with time and age, we find ourselves slowly slipping into _madness_. Spreading his arms to either side of himself, Louis allowed his eyes to open to the tingling flowing from his fingertips to the crooks of his elbows. Floating there in the blackened pool of water that reflected the universe to his back in the clearing of a warm island to the middle of the Earth, Louis was merely a being. He held no pain and he held no fear in the thing that could linger to just the other side of the glass to watch him hungrily through his window. Here, Louis was infinite and completely and utterly alone, and it wasn’t so bad. For so long, things had never gone the way he’d hoped, and he’d come to live with the fact that there was simply nothing else that could be done.

Blinking away the water that quietly licked to his cheeks and clogged his ears of hearing, Louis wondered what he’d done to be so overwhelmed so young. Was it something he was going to do, that as he grew older that he was being punished for in advance? Or was it merely a bad draw of hand that he’d been given so much at such a young age? Why had his father not loved him enough to stay? Had he really been that bad? And what about Jay? She was still his mother, but there was a look in her eye that told Louis he was everything she hadn’t expected. He was defiant and independent and rude in wanting to be heard of the things he believed in; he was his _father’s_ son, not hers.

Allowing the breath quietly from between his parted lips, Louis turned his face to the warmth of the water, as his mind seemed to float, the tingling flowing from his arms to his chest as he again thought of Harry. Harry needed this peace and this solidarity, Harry needed to be there with Louis because Louis’ middle ached and throbbed along to the scars forming about his ankles and he wanted nothing more than Harry’s fingers laced through his own in that quiet and warm nothing.

“Louis.” A voice whispered softly as Louis’ legs slowly dipped beneath the water, the rush to his stomach never stealing the breath that easily flowed to grace the subtle air circulating over his head as his chest and shoulders sank. Gripping to hold himself above water, Louis never panicked as his neck and chin graced the waters gentle touch, his eyes slowly flitting open one last time as he allowed himself sink to the increasing darkness swirling and catching beneath his bare toes. “Louis.”

Suspended, Louis couldn’t help but smile and laugh breathily to the buzzing and allover tingle that now formed his entire body, his mind an endless vat as he saw every endless possibility of what it meant to be alive and to face your fears in this weird in-between of reality and fiction, because what else could life be? Weren’t we simply at one point a burning star that fell to another form to walk the earth until we’re crumpled to our knees at death’s feet in begging to take other form to another life from the mistakes and regrets we’ve created in the life we stumbled into? Holding his breath, Louis’ heart began to beat faster as his eyelids parted, a hand sweeping to Louis’ chest quickly as he gasped and gulped not water, but air.

“Jesus Christ, what is going on?” A voice demanded as a strong hold ripped Louis from his back, Louis waking to find himself swaddled to Mark’s lap as Mark began beating to his back as Louis began to forcibly cough and wiggle to the amazing things he’d witnessed. “You alright? What’s happened?”

“I was floating!” Louis coughed as he crammed his fists to his eyes, rubbing hard as he felt the odd tingle sweep to his feet before crawling away to never be experienced in quite the same way again. “I was floating and then I was sinking!”

“What are you on about?” Mark scoffed as he let Louis sit back, his tiny hands moving the sweaty and sticky fringe back from his face as Mark read his expression clearly. “What have you had? Your pupils look massive in the light.”

“Mum got me a prescription at hospital.” Louis explained quietly as Mark’s face dawned angrily.

“She pumped you full of pills to get rid of the night terrors?”

“It _wasn’t_ a night terror.” Louis insisted as Mark stood and quickly rushed to the hall bathroom, his loud shuffling seeming to echo back to a quiet house as Louis’ ears perked to a loud curse and feet beating to the wooden floors. Scooting over for Mark to sit heavily next to him, Louis watched as the top of the pill bottle was unscrewed and Mark allowed a few pills to slip to his palm.

“These are what your mum gave you?”

Louis nodded as he pointed to the tiny half of a pill that rolled to Mark’s palm as well as Mark froze to the anger and color rising to his face, his head nodding slowly and without his knowledge as he allowed the pills back to their bottle before latching the lid tightly and standing.

“Your mate’s mum called? That loud one that eats all the crisps and sweets-”

“Niall?”

“Yeah, yeah. Asked if the boys could come over and have a chat and I said you’d enjoy the company, that alright?” Louis nodded quickly as he wiped his forehead, a small glimmer of hope bubbling to his chest as Mark gave a crooked smile to tangle his fingers to Louis’ hair gently.

“Mark?”

“Mm?”

“D’you- d’you think I’m crazy?” Louis’ face creased as Mark watched him quietly. “I wasn’t running through the woods in the middle of the night, honest to God there was _something_ , and it-”

Louis’ eyes widened as Mark felt his heart give, his hand patting to Louis’ shoulder as Louis seemed to be caught up in a memory before he flinched roughly.

“I don’t think you’re crazy.” Mark assured as he turned to the ringing of the doorbell, Louis cramming his fists again to his closed eyes as Mark patted him again gently before rushing to answer the door to the persistent rings that begged to be let in.

Swallowing and wincing to the dry of his throat, Louis listened to the sounds of his mate’s stripping their coats and their shoes by the door before pounding their way to his room. Without time to get up and greet them, Louis found himself buried beneath bodies as Niall began shouting happily to Zayn’s over exaggerated hollers of joy.

“Loueh! My boy, Loueh!”

“Get off me!” Louis wheezed as Zayn gathered him round the head and began kissing him sloppily to his cheeks and hair, Niall rolling over the top of both of them with clasped arms as he leaned to the wall next to Louis’ bed, Liam and Josh entering and sitting to the bed gently as they spread out, Liam’s hand smacking to Zayn’s tiny ass that bobbed in the air as Louis fought him off.

“Zayn, you’ll kill him!”

“I’ve snuck all the sweets from my house that I could, mate!” Niall announced happily as he let his arms open to spill the many, greasy packages to the duvet wrinkled and mussed to the excitement.

“You alright then, Louis?” Josh piped up as Louis managed to pitch Zayn from the side of his bed, all boys bursting into laughter as Mark smiled from the living room, his feet perched to the coffee table as he clicked the volume of the television a bit lower to Lottie snoozing on his chest.

“Yeah, I’m fine-”

“Why weren’t you in primary then?” Liam questioned critically as Louis perfectly read the worry and fret lining his forehead.

“You missed maths and it was dreadful!” Zayn called from the floor as he sprawled to his back, Louis slowly rolling his eyes as he let his head fall to his hands.

“You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.”

“Try us!” Niall challenged as he ripped open a package of peach rings that immediately split and spilled all over Louis’ lap.

“Well, it’s… odd?” Louis wrung his hands together nervously as Zayn’s head popped over the side of the bed.

“Isn’t odd better?”

“Go on, then!” Liam prodded as Niall and Josh began gorging on the sweets, Louis picking one up from his lap absently as he lay the candy to his lips and let his tongue trace the sugary coating to the top that made his stomach ache and lightly touched to the small bruise on his chin.

“Well, it kinda starts with Harry-”

“Harry was the reason you skipped?” Liam spoke up with raised eyebrows as Louis shook his head quickly.

“No! Just listen! There’s this _thing_ that follows Harry around, and I was just lying around the house last night when this thing somehow got in and attacked me! It’s never been able to come in before, and I thought somehow it couldn’t? But it did and when mum found me this morning, she said I needed to go to hospital with her.” Tearing his teeth to the soft gummy growing warm in his hands, Louis’ stomach jolted to the long, drawn silence that fell after.

“What kind of _thing_?” Zayn spoke up as he slowly sat next to Liam at Louis’ feet.

“It’s this big, ugly monster with red eyes and long claws and fangs.”

“Well, I mean it sounds like this thing that could’ve stalked me on my way to have a piss the other night-”

“Niall!” Josh reprimanded quickly as he shoved Niall’s head to bury within the duvet, his brows creased heavily as he watched Louis closely through Niall’s struggle. “Are you sure you weren’t seeing things?”

“No! How can any of you not believe me after what Harry showed us?” Louis’ eyes were wide with disbelief as Liam rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I still can’t explain the whole thing-”

“The castle was mad wicked, though.” Zayn waggled his eyebrows in response as Niall managed from beneath Josh’s hold only to smack his head to the wall with a loud thwack.

“ _Christ_!”

“You guys have to believe me.” Louis pleaded as he sat a bit straighter, his eyes reading hollow and scared, as he seemed so much smaller in the jumper that caved to his tiny shoulders and slender build. “My mum makes me feel like I’m crazy, but I know what I saw because Harry sees it to!”

“He’s such an odd lad, though.” Josh mused as Niall’s head fell to his thigh as Niall moaned through the pain of his fingers latched tightly to the tender spot of his now throbbing head.

“He’s not-”

“He’s _different_.” Liam explained as Louis fought to bite back the sense of protectiveness that swelled in his gut.

“We’re not saying he’s a bad lad, mate, we’re just saying it’s odd he’s never in primary-”

“He doesn’t go, and I think it’s because his mum won’t let him.” Louis shrugged as he sighed and popped the rest of the candy to his mouth with a slow and steady chew as he muddled over his thoughts that longed to have Harry there, huddled with the rest of the lads in bed with him. “I dunno.”

“Well, how do you know this thing is after you and it wasn’t just a mistake?”

“What kind of rubbish is that?” Zayn snarked to Niall’s comment as Niall sat and shoved to Zayn’s chest in effort of shoving him from the bed again.

“I dunno, it’s an odd thing to be told! We were there with Harry and we’ve never seen it!”

“I think it’s because I’m closer to him than the lot of you.” The other boys seemed to grow quiet as they muddled to the fact that Louis was slowly dissipating further than they’d originally thought.

“Are you still going to be _our_ friend, though?” Josh spoke quietly as Louis looked between their faces slowly.

“We’ve been your best mates since we were born. You can’t just toss us to the side-”

“I’m not!” Louis marveled as Liam quirked an eyebrow.

“So, this monster attacked you, yeah? Why did your mum take you to hospital with her then? You could’ve come to primary and been with us all day.” Niall’s thought seemed to linger over them all heavily as Niall soon fell distracted to ripping open another package of sweets as his sticky fingers slipped from the bag and punched Josh to the stomach.

“You git-”

“I’m sorry! It was an accident, I swear!” Josh grabbed Niall in a headlock as Louis bit his lip, watching gently as Liam accepted Zayn into his side as he folded his arm to Zayn’s side graciously.

“Well, I was pretty torn up.”

“Did you tell your mum?” Louis nodded as Zayn’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. “And?”

“And she didn’t believe me, because she never believes me? And then when I showed her the scratches, she said I was running through the woods and did them to myself-”

“You have scratches?” Liam nearly shouted as he smacked Josh to the back of the head, prompting he stop mangling Niall and causing him to raise ruckus as Louis nodded slowly with a frown.

“They hurt too.”

Slowing pulling his legs from beneath the weight of the heavy duvet further held down by the four boys that had mashed it to death, Louis brought his ankles to rest before himself as he slowly peeled away the bandages to reveal the deep and painful gashes that throbbed to the influx of air hitting them. There was a silence and an audible disbelief permeating the room as all boys leaned closer to gently tilt Louis’ feet different directions, fighting for a better look to what they couldn’t believe they were truly seeing. From the top of his foot to the tiny bone poking from the side of ankle, they were deep, ragged gashes that told of struggle and hunt, Louis smoothing his fingertips lightly to the deepest gash that told of him being drug to the darkness that had seemed inky and unforgiving.

“Jesus.” Niall breathed as he touched lightly to Louis’ ankle, Liam smacking his hand away as he bent closer to allow his eyes full access to what he was seeing.

“Louis-”

“You need to tell someone!” Zayn nearly shouted as he stood angrily to the side of Louis’ bed, Louis looking after him as he shrugged halfheartedly.

“I tried, but mum only took me to hospital to get some weird pills-”

“Louis, this is serious. What if it comes back?” Josh whispered as the talk and mumbled died down, Zayn’s pacing growing ever more frantic as he took to raking his fingers through the quiff splayed to top of his head that began to wilt.

“I hadn’t thought of it.” Louis gulped as he averted his eyes to his hands working the bandages back to cover himself.

“How the hell can your mum _not_ believe you?”

“Niall!”

“Well, it’s true Liam! Look at’em! He’s nearly had his feet ripped off and his mum wants to believe these came from the woods?”

“Maybe an animal in the woods.” Josh spoke up as Niall began nervously shoving sweets to his lips.

“We have to do something.” Zayn snapped as he placed his hands to the edge of the bed, Louis looking to him in doubt as he frowned.

“There’s nothing we can do? It lives at Harry’s house-”

“Well, then it needs to stay at his house!”

“No, because I think it’s hurting Harry as well!” Louis shouted as he shoved to Zayn’s chest, Zayn frowning and shaking his head as he took to pacing again.

“What can you do about something that might not exist to parents?” Liam questioned quietly as Louis shook his head, a loss of words seeming to settle between each boy as Louis tucked his legs back beneath the duvet.

“I don’t think parents can help what they don’t believe in.”

All boys seem to corral back to the bed as Niall produced Louis’ favorite sweet to which Louis crowed happily to before tearing into the package, Josh queuing into an obnoxious story that brought Niall gasping to tears through his rowdy laughter as Liam and Zayn looked to one another quietly. Touching his fingers to Liam’s softly, Liam nodded to Zayn’s knowing look as they came to realize that though Harry was real and they believed there was a monster without doubt, they had to do everything they could to keep Louis safe; even if it meant taking _Harry_ away.

  
  


“Get away from me you miserable bastard!”

“Don’t act like you’re so innocent! What the hell are you bloody thinking?” Louis buried his head further beneath his pillow as he willed the screaming stop. It had been two hours since Jay had come home from a crazy shift at the hospital to grab a short sleep before she was to rush in again to cover for a young medical student who had come down ill.

“Have you heard the things he says? They’re ridiculous and frightening and I had to do something, you should’ve seen his ankles, Mark! They’re shredded! Either he’s gotten them from the woods or he’s doing them to himself-”

“Oh, grow up!” Mark shouted as Louis jumped to a loud slam, feet rushing down the hallway as another pair gave chase, a door shutting too loudly as the loud voices clearly rang throughout the walls of the entire house to no avail of the privacy they sought. “He’s still just a kid! You don’t need to drug him up just because you’re afraid of what he’s telling you! You’re lucky he’s even telling you anything anymore!”

“Do _not_ tell me how to raise my son!” Jay shouted as Louis squeezed his eyes tightly, nearly wishing Mark hadn’t made a show of flushing those little pills down the toilet as he longed to be floating again to a black nothing.

“I adopted him! He might as well be mine and I’m telling you if you and your bitch at that damn hospital give _my_ son anymore pills, I’ll take them both and leave! Do you understand that, _mum_? You listening now? He’s obviously miserable and you’re not helping with trying to convince him he’s a nutty loon!”

Louis sucked in a breath as a loud sniffle came through the heavy and deafening silence that followed accompanied by hurried feet and two doors slamming before there was the scream of an engine starting in the driveway to be followed by tires screeching and peeling out onto the street. A light curse as the slam of a fist to a wall again made Louis jump as he listened to the sounds of Mark shutting out the lights of his and Jay’s room before sliding beneath the duvet on his back to cover his face as the tears welled quietly to slide to his cheeks miserably. Louis could understand that sadness had no age limit, but he wasn’t aware that others were able to feel _empty_ as he did.

Poking his head from beneath his duvet, Louis knew that sleep wouldn’t come and he’d be utterly incapable the next day in primary, but he didn’t care. Surely Jay didn’t think he was really crazy? She was his mum, how could she think something so utterly absurd? Biting to his bottom lip, Louis let his eyes trace the glow-in-the-dark stick up stars that glittered and winked from his ceiling above that Mark had sweetly put up for him in Louis’ defiance of sleeping in a completely dark room ever again when he had been experiencing nightmares a few years ago. Tracing patterns with a raised hand, Louis could still hear the fight echoing throughout his hollowed mind when a tap sounded to his window, freezing him instantly.

The warmth seemed to leave his body, his limbs growing wobbly and worn as Louis’ heart nearly strangled him to fly up into his throat and snatch away the scream that formed. That monster couldn’t possibly be back! What would it want with Louis now? He hadn’t even seen Harry that day and it made no sense for it to be back for seconds unless it was planning to just kill Louis this time! Fighting to still his shaking hands, Louis warily peeked from over the top of his duvet toward the window that sat shaded and dark before a shorter, smaller figure grew outlined to the flash of lightning that formed to the clouds overhead in the wake of the storm crawling ever closer that promised to drown the entire village if it could.

“Louis!” A voice hissed as Louis bolted upright, his hands shredding away the duvet and sheet from his feet as he winced to the pressure falling about his ankles as he rested his weight to the floor and nearly flew to his window.

“Harry?”

“Let me in!” Harry pleaded as he craned his head back to the clouds that parted further to drench him with cold and unforgiving rain, Louis’ fingers working messily in the dark to unlock and throw open the window as he gripped for the bag Harry pushed through first before nearly tumbling to the floor himself, Louis fighting the window shut quietly behind him.

“What are you doing here? You’re freezing wet and it’s dark-”

“I had to see you.” Louis’ face grew warm as Harry began stripping off his wet clothes only to rip open his pack and jump into loose pajama bottoms and Louis’ borrowed jumper as he toweled his hair to his damp shirt. “After my mum chased you away and you didn’t get off the bus, I thought something was wrong.”

Louis turned shyly away as Harry’s flush face looked to him in gentle and sweet everything as his hair stuck about his head messily, his long fingers tucking the tag and necklace beneath his jumper as Louis walked back to the head of his bed and fixed around the pillows slowly.

“Well, you’re welcome to stay the night?”

“I’d hope.” Harry chuckled as he kicked his bag away, walking slowly to Louis’ side as he touched to Louis’ lower back softly. “It’s pouring, after all.”

Louis nodded as he smiled to himself, Harry’s eyes tracing the stars above them as he smiled privately.

“D’you want to make a fort then?”

“A fort?” Harry marveled as Louis nodded and looked to him with wide eyes, their gazes instantly locked as Louis smiled widely.

“Yeah, we can bring in the chairs from the kitchen and a couple flashlights and a sheet from the hallway closet.”

“Don’t you have primary tomorrow?” Harry questioned lowly as Louis gripped his hand warmly and pulled Harry along to the door behind him, fighting to hide his pained wobble.

“Well, sure but I don’t mind.”

“If you want to make so much work of it.” Harry giggled quietly as he and Louis began gathering their things, listening closely for sign of a car in the drive or a difference in Mark’s sudden and deep snoring that erupted from behind his closed bedroom door.

Finally bringing the chairs to a half circle around Louis’ bed as the door shut graciously behind them, Louis and Harry worked together in spreading the large sheet out to drape and cover a small hole beneath that Louis laid Harry’s bag to top of after he’d stripped his bed of the duvet, pillows and top sheet.

“It’s brilliant.” Harry announced proudly as Louis ducked into their fort, spreading the duvet and sheet to the floor as he flopped his pillows down in gratitude of his weary head that grew heavier in the comfort of the other boy that crawled in beside him, his hand held beneath his chin as he flicked on the only flashlight he’d been able to find in the boy’s turning over of the kitchen. “And now we’ve got light.”

Smiling quietly, Louis lay to his back as the fort shaped and shifted around him, the sound of rustling trees in a calm and warm night breeze meeting his ears as he further settled, Harry slamming next to him into his side as he let the flashlight stand on end at their feet as the ray of light reflected below. It seemed that the boys were in a cubbyhole of some sort in a tree high up in the sky as Harry rolled to his side to face Louis, quietly engulfed in thought.

“What are you thinking about?” Louis shrugged as he looked to Harry kindly, his eyes droopy. “Oh my God, Louis? What happened to your face?”

Louis jumped to Harry’s hands flitting about his cheeks, as his cool touch seemed to ease the heat of the bruise that really wasn’t as bad as Harry was making it.

“I just- fell?”

“ _Don’t_ lie to me, not about this.” Louis drew his breath as the thunder cracked loudly beyond his window, an unseen shadow slinking through the rain as Louis pulled his knees up beneath his chin, Harry’s eyes tracing him over quickly before he connected to the bandages at Louis’ ankles. “Louis-”

“The monster came.” Louis whispered quietly as Harry’s face fell white with shock, his fingers and hands quivering in both fear in anger as Louis slammed back to reality at the loss of the swaying trees and the warmth that came to nearly crashing back to the floor of his bedroom within the storm that clawed angrily to the side of the house.

“It came _here_? And attacked you? Let me see.”

“Harry, please-”

“Don’t be a pest, let me see!” Harry demanded sternly as he shoved to Louis’ knees, Louis reluctantly letting his feet fall to Harry’s lap as Harry slowly pulled away the bandage on Louis’ left ankle only to wince and trace over the dulled wound in the faint light of the dying flashlight. “This wasn’t supposed to happen-”

“Harry, I’m fine.”

“No, Louis! It’s not supposed to hurt you!” Harry’s fists balled tightly as he pulled away from Louis to face the opposite side of their small enclosure, Louis sitting slowly in measured response as he touched to Harry’s shoulder blades lightly.

“Harry, how do we get rid of it? Help me get rid of it-”

“I dunno!” Harry interrupted as Louis lay back to his side, his hands tucking his pillow gratefully beneath his cheek as he watched Harry draw deep breaths carefully. “I’m so sorry I got you hurt, Louis!”

“You didn’t get me hurt, _I_ got me hurt.”

“Don’t be modest.” Harry snapped as he sighed to his bag on the bed giving a shift as a hole formed to the drooping sheet over them.

“Just lay down.” Louis prodded quietly as Harry took his time in swallowing hard and willing his anger pass, his body finally settling back he fixed his eyes coldly to the stars that twinkled and burned brightly overhead.

“I wish I could make it go away.” Harry finally hissed as Louis ran a finger to the arm of his jumper that he’d decided looked better on Harry anyways. “It’s been following me and I don’t know why, but it’s never hurt anyone else before.”

“But it hurts you.” Louis frowned as Harry took his time in nodding slowly.

“It’s never torn me up that bad, though.”

“Just given you bruises.” Louis breathed as Harry turned his head to look to Louis quietly, his thick eyebrows knitted together tightly as he nodded. “It shouldn’t hurt you, you’ve not done anything.”

“Neither have you.”

“It’s _my_ problem.” Harry snapped as he rolled to his other side to turn his back to Louis, Louis’ hand falling away slowly as he frowned and withered back into himself.

“Well, you haven’t got to be angry with me over it, I didn’t know it was going to come here.”

A gentle silence fell that was laced in awkward tension as Louis lay to his back and let his eyes trace the stars that glittered and thrived to life above them, the swirling of space seeming to swell and expand to the dark of the ceiling as Louis raised a hand gently to wiggle his fingers in the glowing orbs that shifted and flew about the confines of the small sheet fort that seemed to slowly meld away. Letting his lips part in wonder, Louis raised his other hand to join in batting away the stars that mixed and collided in a perfect kaleidoscope of wonder and mystery.

“I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Harry muttered gently as he rolled his face through the pillow Louis had allowed him to use as his wide eyes peeked from beneath the hair that fell to his forehead sloppily. “Are you angry with me now?”

“No.” Louis replied simply as he looked to Harry gently, a small smile forming to his mouth as Harry looked over his shoulder to space painted above their heads, his heart thrumming gently within his chest as he again frowned in thought.

“I have to do something to make sure you won’t be hurt again.”

“What can you do?” Louis’ expression instantly mirrored Harry’s as Harry stay flat to his stomach, Louis’ feet seeming to dangle haplessly to the planets and constellations that illuminated the darkness.

“I dunno, but I have to think of something quickly. Make a deal or something-” Harry cut short as he yawned loudly, Louis’ eyes seeming to glaze over in his own exhaustion as he thought of how simple it would be to only sweep Harry into his arms and float off into space together. A monster couldn’t possibly follow them there, could it? They would lie together on the moon and watch the way the sun’s rays lit the earth with each passing of the new day as the moon slowly made her circuit to bring night and peace to every withering and tired body moving through the optical motion of this crazy charade of life.

“Making a deal seems silly for something so-”

“Evil.” Harry finished, as Louis again looked to him quietly to nod in agreement, Harry’s arms stretching above his head as he thrust his stomach from the floor to nod and groan in appreciation to the expansion of his muscles. “I have to protect you, and if that’s what I have to do, I will.”

“You know, I’m older and should be protecting _you_.” Louis mumbled as he rolled to his side to look to the refraction of the stars littered within the widening pupils of Harry’s hunter green eyes lit gently to the far kiss of the sun orbiting her keep.

“Age doesn’t have anything to do with it, you ninny.” Harry chuckled as he ran a hand over Louis’ face, Louis laughing lightly as he curled his hands to his chest and scooted tighter to Harry’s side.

“You make me feel funny.” Louis admitted as Harry’s cheeks dented to the gracious dimples that raised the butterflies to the back of Louis’ bellybutton.

“A good funny?”

“I suppose so.” Harry rolled to his side to face Louis as Louis’ tongue darted from between his teeth to wet his lips, Harry’s eyes never missing the action as he locked to Louis’ droopy and yet still so clear and crystalline gaze.

“Well, we make each other feel a weird funny, then.”

“What does it mean, though?” Louis marveled as Harry scrunched his face in thought.

“I dunno? I just knew I was bored and missed you and I came through the rain to sleep on your floor.” Louis chuckled in embarrassment as Harry joined in softly, their hands knocking together through the mess of the duvet as Louis pulled it up as a last thought to allow them both to the warmth that waited and had managed to seep through to their time already spent. “Do you feel it with any of the other boys?”

“No.” Louis answered almost instantly, his cheeks giving a small flush as Harry burrowed further into his pillow, his nostrils flared slightly as he inhaled the scent of Louis that lingered and teased him to sleep, as his eyelids grew impossibly heavier.

“Well, then it’ll be our secret.”

“Alright.” Louis whispered as Harry’s eyes closed in finality; Louis watching in marvel to the long lashes that swept Harry’s cheeks. Before he was able to stop himself and realize what he was doing, Louis’ tiny fist was bundled to the front of his jumper swaddling Harry warmly in, and yanking him gently forward to bring their lips sweetly to one another.

Louis and Harry had only kissed once before, and while it had been nice, it couldn’t have been nicer than this. Harry’s eyes flew open immediately to the heat of Louis’ breath to his bottom lip as Louis’ fingers tightened to move his lips slowly to Harry’s that remained still in shock and awe. For the first time, Harry understood what it meant to feel funny, his cheeks burning with color as his eyes closed to their own accord of melting into Louis’ touch, his mouth working gently and unknowing to Louis’ lead as his fingers and toes felt as though they were going to tingle and vibrate off of his body; Harry understood what it was to house a cage of trapped butterflies between his ribs that rose a tiny and private smile to his lips before he was pulling back to suck in a small gust of air.

Making to scoot shyly away to how beautiful Louis looked with his eyes still closed, his lips puckered and his fringe a mess, Harry couldn’t say no to Louis’ defiant tug to his jumper as Harry easily slid back to Louis’ lips gratefully. Harry and Louis had both seen kisses on films and on television, and while they were all completely disgusting and sticking their tongues in one another’s mouths and fighting for _dominance_ , it was truly unheard of how perfect the moment was. It was gentle and unforced, and as Louis’ fingers tightened to Harry’s jumper, Harry’s fingers lightly touched to Louis’ wrist as he longed to feel this way forever, because there was simply no way a monster would dare harm either boy in the presence of the other.

Without word or thought, Louis’ eyes fluttered open to Harry’s drawn and affectionate look of uncertain passion as Louis dove and snuggled his head beneath Harry’s chin, Harry’s arms wrapping tightly about his shoulders and folding into the soft fabric of Louis’ jumper as he reveled to the warmth Louis brought. In worry that it was all going to be a dream, Harry evened his breathing to the boy before him as the batteries of the flashlight died, bathing the entire room in darkness save for the stars gently winking down to them in personable interest through the sunken hole of the sheet overhead.

It was special to experience first love, and while Louis had always thought it was underestimated in how much he knew or how seriously he was going to ever be taken by his mum or by his friends, Louis knew one thing for sure and that was Harry was of an old soul. It was something of his demeanor, a tiny smidge in his character that lit to the subtle sadness traced through his eyes that a tiny body wasn’t able to contain. It was so sweet and so haunting, and yet the light permeating through to the surface was blinding and brilliant, and promised something so overwhelming and unknown that Louis didn’t know what else to do but cling tighter to Harry’s jumper and pray his fingers never grew weak in letting go.

It was of the sweetest serenity that Louis and Harry lay wrapped around the other through the storm and the paled, red eyes that gleamed to the other side of a window through the haze of the pouring rain; but they weren’t to be bothered. Nothing can trace or taint true love, and when love is innocent and pure, there is nothing that could foul it up, whether it be monster or the angry and bitter mother that showed up nearly to the same time Jay pulled into the driveway from her shift in panic.

In finding their children, Anne wasn’t hesitant in unfolding their arms and cradling Harry to her chest as she apologized quietly to Jay over and over, Jay’s face drawn and sullen as she simply waved it off as children being children, but even she wasn’t able to fool herself. It was something deeper, and it was something complicated and beautiful, and while Jay was busy sulking in the kitchen over stale coffee and the hum of the engine of Anne’s car rumbling up the street, Louis rolled to his side to find a spot still lingering warm to Harry’s absence as his stomach clenched to his throat wobbling and aching to the tiny sob that threatened to give him away.

To lay in loneliness is something we choose and Louis should’ve been happy, because he knew Harry was going to have to be taken home and _should’ve_ been grateful for the time spent with one another. Yet, Louis was still only a child and couldn’t help but to yank the pillow Harry had slept on to his chest as he curled his knees and arms tightly round it to crush it to his chest as he inhaled to the scent of Harry’s skin that still lingered.

To fall in love is such sweet sorrow, after all.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“True friendship multiples the good in life and divides its evils. Strive always to have friends, for life without friends shall be uncertain death. For finding a friend in one lifetime is of good fortune; to keep is a blessing.”

  
  


[Thief](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVPyjrKOeyk)

  
  


Primary was so insignificant that Louis wasn’t even bothered to keep himself awake to listen to the maths lesson droning on or stir to Zayn’s continuous jabs to his side. Louis’ head was still drunk with the smell of Harry’s warm skin floating around to cling to his sheets and duvet that he’d cocooned himself within and made to never leave had it not been for Jay’s angry shouts that Louis was going to miss the bus. Even in that moment as the bell rang to signify a break for recess in the yard that was currently still sopping from the rain that had taken only a short break, Louis’ head lolled about his forearms as Zayn nearly drug him from the room by the back of his jumper.

“What’s _wrong_ with you?” Zayn questioned cryptically as Louis tripped over his shoes to the backdoor, Mrs. Austin watching with careful gaze as Liam and Niall joined to their group as Josh rushed off for the toilet.

“’M just tired.”

“Couldn’t sleep?” Liam soothed a hand down Louis’ spine as Louis yawned loudly and settled to a swing that completely soaked the seat of his trousers, yet Louis found he wasn’t awake enough to care.

“Harry snuck over last night and kept me awake.”

Zayn’s eyebrows quirked as Niall sat to the woodchuckings before Louis’ feet, his tiny eyebrows pulled in concern.

“Are you sure he’s a good lad to have to your house? I mean- with your ankles like that?” Zayn flopped heavily to Liam’s lap as their weight rocked the entire set of swings within their section, Liam nearly falling from the back of the seat as Louis hummed lowly.

“He said he’d take care of it.”

“How’s he going to take care of it?” Zayn scoffed as Liam began making to shove him from his lap.

“I dunno, he just said he would.” Louis shrugged as the boys turned to Josh slinking back across the lawns, all while in avoiding a certain set of chocolate plaits scrunched to the collar of a coat that seemed to be looking for him. “If he says he will, then he will.”

“However that’s supposed to work- ugh, Niall! That’s disgusting!” Liam shouted as Zayn and Louis fixed Niall to incredulous looks, Niall smiling sheepishly as he began knocking the dirt from the sweet he’d been gnawing on that had managed to slip from his lips to Josh’s hard shove to his back.

“I’ve picked it up quick enough!”

“It’s still been on the ground, you prude!” Zayn gagged as Niall shrugged and stuck the sweet back to his mouth, Josh’s lips instantly curling down as he shoved Niall to his side within the woodchuckings, Louis’ feet slowly rocking him back and forth to the swing as he again yawned and bowed his head to his eyes slipping closed.

“Louis!” A voice called shrilly as Louis’ eyes nearly flew from his head, all the other boys scattering and dispersing quickly as Louis was nearly out of sight when Eleanor was stood in front of him, smiling ear to ear.

“Hi.” Louis sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, Eleanor giving a sort of banshee squeal as she locked her arms about Louis’ neck in a back-breaking hug.

“I’m so glad I’ve found you! What do you think of the field trip we’ll be having, then?”

“What field trip?” Louis questioned flatly as Eleanor giggled, her fingers poking to the front of Louis’ coat as Louis smacked her hands away in annoyance, spotting Liam, Zayn, Niall and Josh near the tree line as they gagged in sympathy and fell over one another before disappearing to the mist lightly making its way back to earth.

“The field trip to the museum, silly! Haven’t you been listening all day in classes?”

“Get off of me.” Louis muttered as he attempted to thwart Eleanor’s arms from constricting his neck again, Eleanor falling back to a fit of giggles as she began to bounce to the balls of her feet.

“It’ll be so much fun! And we could ride the bus together, and then sit by each other while we have lunch-”

“No!” Louis demanded as he pushed Eleanor away, Eleanor’s face puckering sourly as she began to pout while crossing her arms across her chest.

“You shouldn’t be mean to me!”

“ _You_ should stop pestering me! I’m not your boyfriend, Jesus-”

“I’m telling that you’re swearing at me, Louis!” Eleanor shouted as she spun and stomped toward the wad of teachers laughing and rolling their eyes to the huddle of older boys tossing mud about one another.

“That’s all it takes to get rid of her?” Louis marveled to himself as he tucked his hands to his pockets and started for the tree line where Liam and Niall chased one another quickly, Zayn’s hand stretched to Louis’ direction as Louis hurried to lace their fingers together with a grumble. “You could’ve helped me.”

“She’s not _our_ problem.” Zayn mumbled as Niall and Josh giggled wildly to rolling about the wet weeds after tackling Liam in his nicest trousers as he began howling about drawing grass stains.

“How did it come that she’s my problem, then? Because I’d like to take it back.” Both Louis and Zayn looked over their shoulders to Eleanor as she rubbed her eyes in upset to the teacher that bent over to her side, her finger extended in Louis’ direction as Louis sighed. “Girls are so dense.”

“We’ll never fancy them.” Zayn helped firmly as the teacher looked to Louis before hooking her finger in his direction with a stern look marring her easy features, Mrs. Austin’s attention perking to the lecture that was sure to follow.

“How much trouble do you think we’d come into if we were to just run away?”

“From primary? Expulsion!” Liam gaped as he frantically wiped to his trousers, Niall and Josh still tussling to the grass as Louis turned with disinterest from the teacher whose cheeks flushed red to his blatant disregard for authority.

“No, I just mean away from here, from the village.”

“Where would you go?” Josh questioned through a mouthful of Niall’s fist as Niall cackled and swung to sit to Josh’s back as Zayn’s arm tightened to Louis’ waist.

“Anywhere that doesn’t have an Eleanor Calder-”

“Mr. Tomlinson! When I tell you to come to me, I mean it, do you understand?” A voice snapped just behind them as Zayn’s arm fell away, Louis heaving a great sigh as he turned to the old and bitter woman that snatched him by his upper arm and began marching him toward the primary building. Of course, to simply run away would’ve been entirely too easy when your heart and your home are the only things you’ve known and the only things you’ve come to hate, so why not throw in the things you couldn’t change and the mates you couldn’t leave and throw in a stuffy teacher to sit you down before the Dean’s office while scolding you of the proper way to speak to a lady.

Louis had to bite his tongue to not loudly scoff to the absurdity of anyone considering Eleanor a _lady_. She was a pest who was invested in making miserable of a day Louis had only wanted to sleep away; if she was a lady, Louis was certain he’d never entertain a _lady_ in his life.

Drama queens, all of them.

  
  


Growling, Louis allowed his feet stomp to the road as the bus hummed sickly behind him, the other boys following to his lead as Louis bowed his head with a heavy furrow to his brow.

“What a horrid cow.” Niall snapped as Josh swung an elbow to his side, Zayn nodding quickly in response as Liam’s cheeks blushed.

“Niall, that’s a rude thing to say-”

“ _She’s_ rude, what does it matter?” Zayn interrupted as Louis rolled his eyes in frustration.

“I don’t want to spend time with her all day Saturday! She’ll be relentless and following us about the entire time!”

“You have to assert yourself then, mate! Tell her you mean business!” Josh puffed up his chest as Liam knocked him to the back, Niall cackling loudly as he began bouncing to his toes in excitement, the bus driver closing his doors and watching the boys walk slowly to their road before crawling back to his route.

“We can always shove her to a mud pile! That’d take care of her!”

“We’d all be in trouble, then!” Liam snapped as he punched to Zayn’s arm at the stupid suggestion, Louis chewing to his bottom lip as he sighed loudly in frustration.

“How did we get stuck with Eleanor, and not Harry? I wouldn’t mind being bothered by Harry all day!” The other boys grew quiet as they looked to one another in uncertainty, Louis looking to his worn path of the trail through the woods to Harry’s hollow as he ran his hands heavily to his cheeks and eyes.

“You going to go see him, then?”

“I have to make sure he’s not in any trouble of coming over.” Louis explained as Liam nodded in understanding, Niall and Zayn shooting one another wary looks as Louis shrugged his rucksack tighter to his shoulders. “I’ll give you all a ring later then, yeah?”

“I think we’ll be at Zayn’s?” Josh offered as Niall began to hop around in excitement.

“And Zayn’s mum made those little pastries-”

“Meat pies?”

“Oh my God, they’re so delicious!” Niall gushed as Josh gave him a proper shove, Liam and Zayn instantly making fun of Niall’s antics as Louis waved quietly with a drawn smile to his lips. If it were only a tiny bit, there was still a piece of himself that longed to go with them.

Sad to the fading of the voices behind him as Louis twisted to the tall grasses and soggy leaves that squished beneath his shoes, Louis reveled in the quiet birdsong flittering about overhead as he closed his eyes to the cool breeze that settled the sweat of his skin that joined in his tearing of what he thought were two pieces of himself that would never join to create a full whole. There was the side that longed to be ignorant and childish with Zayn, Liam, Niall and Josh. This was the side that longed for meat pies and avoiding Eleanor all day and sneaking away at recess, but Louis knew there was also the other side, the darker side. This was the side that clung heavily to Harry to will him to never leave, the sad side, the withering side that desired so much to steal the light of the other that Louis was afraid if he no longer faced, he would die.

As it stood without light, plants and flowers alike would wilt and die. Would the same be said for humans? And why was it so difficult to simply find a happy medium between the halves of his heart that fought to forever remain apart from the other? Nearly halfway to the hollow, Louis’ feet slowed to the sight before him that sent a heaviness to his heart that soon caught fire and ignited to a burning passion that caused the rucksack to slip from his back and lay dejected and forgotten. Harry was sat to a single plank of old and weathered wood that was attached to a high, unseen branch of an old and gnarled tree through a long, dark and damp rope that helped Harry swing slightly back and forth as if an unthought-of motion.

Harry’s cheek was laid to the rope as his legs seemed to dangle lifelessly, his back showing laboriously through the back of his coat as his hair remained a mess to the shadow of the house that was barely visible through the break of the trees. The sight was haunting and mysterious and beautiful, and yet Louis knew there was something _off_.

“Harry?” Louis called softly as Harry visibly jumped and shook the entire swing, his droopy eyes fixing to Louis as a faint smile traced his still full, and yet drastically paled lips.

“Louis.”

“You weren’t by the road and I was worried you’d gotten in trouble from coming over last night.” Louis muttered as he slowly took small steps toward the swing, Harry tossing his legs carefully to the opposite side of the long bench before Louis was sat to the other, smiling gingerly to Harry’s fleeting glance as Harry’s fingers touched to his cheek softly.

“’M sorry, I just didn’t think about it. That’s all.”

“You look ill.” Louis observed quietly as Harry turned to him fully, Louis’ blood coursing cold as he took in the deep, dark bags beneath Harry’s eyes and the light sheen of sweat blanketing his small cheeks. “Harry, are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” Harry rushed as he attempted a halfhearted smile, his fingers touching lightly to Louis’ throat in affection as his feet weakly kicked them into a gentle swaying swing. “Tell me about primary, how was it?”

“Completely ridiculous!” Louis scoffed as his face grew animated, Harry’s heart fluttering gently to the light and warmth brought from Louis’ body squished to his own as he allowed his eyes closed in listening. “There’s this girl named Eleanor and she won’t leave me alone! Well, she got me in trouble and I had to go see our primary’s Dean and he said to be nice and respectful of ladies! But what kind of lady is she? She’s not a mum or anything, so really I’d say she’s more of an annoying pest that won’t go away, even with a swat of the hand! Kind of like flies in the summer when you’re all hot and sticky? Or a smelly dog after your lunchmeat!”

Harry laughed gently as Louis sighed and laid his own cheek to the damp rope.

“She sounds like a mess-”

“She is! And I know she’s going to pester me on this field trip, so I’ve got to think of different ways to get rid of her-”

“Field trip? What’s a field trip?” Harry questioned quickly as Louis looked to Harry’s dark eyes wide with wonder and curiosity.

“It’s like when we leave with our primary teacher to go somewhere for the day with our class to learn things they’re too lazy to teach us.”

“You leave?” Louis nodded as Harry’s face drooped, Louis quickly lacing their fingers together as Harry gave a slight sniffle. “Will you be gone long?”

“Just for the day.” Louis squeezed their fingers together tightly as Harry sighed. “It’s this Saturday and I’ll come right over after the bus has dropped me off.”

“Louis, you don’t have to come over just for me.” Harry assured, as his face grew stern, Louis flinching away from the sense of anger marring those wide and tired eyes.

“I come over because I want to, don’t be stupid.” Louis checked Harry’s shoulder with his own as Harry bowed his head, a gentle ripple flowing throughout his body as Harry thought over his next statement.

“I talked to the monster as soon as I was brought home this morning, and I told it to leave you alone. I told it you’d done nothing wrong to deserve to be hurt, and that if it came to you again that I would slay it.”

“You should tell it to leave you alone too.” Louis demanded as Harry pulled his hand away, Louis’ skin stinging to the loss of contact as he reached for Harry’s arm to pull him back, a loud hiss falling from between Harry’s lips as he flinched away and bowed his head. Louis’ fingers seemed to balance in midair as he looked to Harry with accusing and wet eyes.

“It _hurt_ you-”

“It should leave you alone now.” Harry whispered as he stood from the swing, Louis immediately standing as well as Harry looked toward the porch light that began flickering and calling out code.

“She did this to you.” Louis hesitated as he came to stand before Harry, Harry’s ember gaze falling to his own as he stiffened his upper lip.

“ _She didn’t mean to_ -”

“Harry, come on! I’ve been calling for five minutes, you’ll catch cold!” A voice demanded as Louis and Harry swiveled to Anne clutching her arms to the railing of the deck, her gaze locking to them both as she waved them forward.

“You have to go, mum won’t let you stay-”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t ask.” Louis refused as he made to grab again for Harry’s arm before slinking away to the angry and ballistic glare that met his own to Louis’ forgetfulness of Harry’s disregard of being touched at the moment. “Harry, I’m sorry-”

“You’re only going to get yourself in trouble.” Harry snapped as he made past Louis with straightened shoulders, Louis hurrying to fall into his step as both boys broke to the hollow, Anne heaving a sigh of relief as she smiled kindly to Louis.

“How did I know you’d be here as well? You alright, Louis?”

“I’m fine.” Louis called cautiously as he followed Harry’s wobbly fight up the stairs, Louis’ hands reaching out to catch Harry from tumbling back into him more than once as Harry smiled tightly in appreciation over his shoulder.

“Harry, you look like death darling. Lets get you into a fresh jumper and have you tuck into some soup, yeah? Louis, I’ve got the plate that you brought over if you’d like?” Louis nodded as he and Harry stood to Anne’s shadow, Anne’s smile seeming too wide for her face in that instance as she slowly leaned in through the opened kitchen door and plucked the small plate from the countertop, handling it gently to Louis’ numb fingers as he nodded in thanks.

“Mum, Louis needs to come in and warm as well.” Harry added sternly as Anne looked between them both slowly before locking to Harry’s ever-falling face.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea today, Harry.”

“Harry could come to _mine_.” Louis butt in rudely as Anne chuckled and gave a pained smile of understanding to their apprehension of separating from one another to Harry’s dismal appearance.

“I don’t think Harry is rightly up for it, sweetheart-”

“Mum, I feel fine!” Harry fought as his bottom lip quivered, Anne shaking her head quickly as she let a hand fall to back of Harry’s shoulder as she began ushering him through to the kitchen.

“That’s enough, Harry.” Again Louis was stood in the rain, holding that stupid plate as Harry’s eyes welled with tears that fell quietly to his cheeks as Anne looked to Louis in sweet stupidity as if he could never possibly understand her reasoning. “Not today, Louis, alright? We’ll try for another time!”

Louis didn’t even bothering to acknowledge Anne’s sweet tone as he and Harry simply stared to each other up until the last moment that the backdoor was shut in his face, Louis’ fingers clutching tighter to the plate as he felt the hole of his middle begin to consume him. Louis wasn’t a bad person and he certainly wasn’t the one hurting Harry, so why was he being kept away? Fleeing as quickly as he possibly could to the clearing below, Louis tore through the trees with an expression of _nothing_ plastered to his cheeks, complete nothing filling him and misting from his nostrils in the cold as he blindly clutched his knapsack to his hand in passing.

It was all bullshit, and Louis couldn’t explain why, but in the moment he didn’t care. He didn’t care that he was kept away from Harry again, he didn’t care that Anne was this cruel and ruthless monster that took weird form when she was going around hurting Harry, and he truly didn’t care about this stupid plate that had gotten to spend more time in Harry’s presence than he had! Breaking to the road through the branches that latched to his clothes, Louis fell by wild motivation in taking that fucking plate and smashing it to a million tiny pieces in the middle of the road, his nostrils flared in anger as he looked wildly about for sign that anyone was to see him and call the police in worry of the _madman_ that had crawled from the weeds. Louis was frustrated and bewildered, and he still couldn’t figure out why he was still so irreproachably sad! He had Harry, he had his mates and he’d experienced some of the most amazing things he’d never thought could’ve existed, so why did it seem he was only allowed one or the other? Why couldn’t he have them both at the same time so that the hole of his middle wouldn’t ache to loss of the other, as it seemed it _always_ did now?

Pulling his fingers through his fringe slowly as it began to mat to his head with the coming moisture dwindling from the canopy shading the road, Louis didn’t bother to look to either side of him or the woods behind as he darted across the road to a street he’d not been on in what seemed ages. Hanging a left at the fork, Louis shoved his hands tightly to the front pockets of his trousers as his eyes glided to the fronts of the beautiful houses lining either side of the street, the images of lives playing out behind individual windows bewildering and amazing to the thought that everyone had something going on.

Surely Louis wasn’t the only one experiencing his sadness or the helpless, overwhelming dread to being lost without sense of direction or light? Clinging to the side of the road as a car buzzed by, Louis could just barely see the roof of Zayn’s house peeking to the crest of the hill, his heart swelling in hope that the other boys wouldn’t shut him out to his begging on the doorstep. It was obvious they weren’t thrilled to Louis’ attraction and draw toward Harry, and though it felt as though Louis were again battling the two sides of himself that could forever be in conflict, he couldn’t worry about that in the moment. If Louis wasn’t allowed to be with Harry, he would mourn by releasing the lighter side of himself, if only for the distraction that he knew was happening to the tightly pulled blinds of the Styles’ household.

Digging the toe of his shoe to the welcome mat, Louis smiled sheepishly in amusement to the loud and obnoxious doorbell that rang throughout the halls of the house to the other side of the door. Breathing deeply to his nose, Louis was sad to feel that the others were already gone without him when a hurried step came to the other side of the door, the locks and handle giving before Louis was hit to a warm rush of air.

“Louis, sweetheart! It’s been ages since you’ve graced my doorstep-”

“Mum, did you say Louis’ here?” Zayn called as Louis smiled and curled into the warm embrace of the raven-haired woman that scooped him into her chest out of the rain.

“Louis!” Niall screamed through what sounded to be a mouth full as a peal of thunder exploded to the sky above the dry and comforting home as Zayn’s mum removed Louis’ coat and shoes only to push him gently to the back into the throngs of arms circling his head and middle in excitement. “We didn’t think you’d come-”

“You must be lost!”

“Where’s Harry?”

“Boys!” Zayn’s mum called as she raised her hands in attempt to calm them all down, Niall nearly about to vibrate from his socks as he began hopping around only to crash into Josh obnoxiously. “Lets not trample Louis and welcome him into the kitchen for a meat pie-”

“They’re so good!” Niall groaned as Josh fixed him to a peculiar look, Zayn wrapping an arm tightly about Louis’ neck as Liam patted Louis’ bum in appreciation.

“What happened to Harry?” Liam questioned again quietly as Zayn’s mum managed to corral them all to the tall chairs at the kitchen counter as Niall began bouncing to his seat.

“His mum said I couldn’t play with him.” Louis shrugged as all boys turned to the rain beating against the window, Liam’s house peeking just through the foliage dropping with the weight of the storm as Zayn bit to his bottom lip in thought.

“But, why?”

“Because she’s horrible.” Louis muttered beneath his breath as Zayn’s mum’s ears perked to her gentle slide of a meat pie on a plate toward Louis’ still shivering fingers before poking the bag of Hula Hoops closer to Liam’s reaching fingers.

“Who’s horrible?”

“This boy named Harry’s mum.” Zayn helped as Louis dug into the pie, Niall’s mouth stuffed nearly impossibly full to the point it was hard for his lips to meet as Liam and Josh looked to him in disbelief and disgust.

“Harry? Has he been here before?”

“No, he’s Louis’ _secret_ friend.” Louis ducked his head to Zayn’s mum’s careful gaze as she leaned to her hands against the counter, shaking her hair over her shoulder gently.

“Well, if Louis’ secret friend would like to come here and have a pie, you tell him he’s allowed in our door anytime.”

“ _Mum_.” Zayn warned gently as Louis gave a close-lipped smile, his eyes hinting of a slight twinkle as Niall began to loudly cough to a large chunk of pie that slipped down his throat in an odd fashion, Liam nearly falling from his seat in a fit of laughter as Josh simply rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be in my office taking calls, yeah? But the door will be open so don’t set my house on fire, and I _mean_ it.” Zayn’s mum looked to each boy individually with a stern look before she slid a full, cool glass of water to Niall’s hands clutching at the counter as he still struggled to digest the pie lodged in his throat. “Zayn!”

“Alright!” Zayn shouted in frustration as he gripped his fingers through his hair slowly, his mum giving a gentle smile of humor to Zayn’s violent outburst of blush to his cheeks as Liam giggled behind a raised hand.

“You’re such a mess.” Louis observed to Niall’s gasps of breaths as he gulped gratefully to his glass of water, his eyes streaming tears as Josh snorted loudly to the impossible stupidity of his best mate.

“Well now that Louis’ here, we can go about doing whatever?”

“We should go outside.” Louis thought aloud as all eyes turned to him with wide expressions of confusion, the inner light that longed to be a child coursing his veins hotly as he realized that the oven that was slowly cooling from the baking of the pies was setting the room on fire. “Play around a bit, yeah?”

“It’s raining.” Niall managed to choke out as he stole Josh’s water and gulped it away before reaching for Liam’s as well.

“Well, it’s just water?” Louis hinted as he looked between them all with a slight smile. “Oh come off it, you mums! Since when are you afraid to get your jumpers wet?”

“I _don’t_ want to get my jumper dirty.” Liam mumbled pitifully as Zayn marveled to the change of Louis’ persona.

“Since when do you want to frolic in the grass?”

“Who cares, lets go!” Niall shouted as he stood atop his seat and towered over the others, his fists raised to the air above him before he was jumping and sailing through the air, Josh rolling his eyes immediately to Niall’s impact as Niall’s legs gave and sent him sprawling to the floor.

“Why would you do that?”

“I thought it would turn out differently-”

“Come on, Liam!” Louis coaxed as he gingerly slid from his seat and began pulling to Liam’s wrist, Liam looking to him with warning as he began to shake his head quickly.

“It’s pouring and this is a stupid idea-”

“Don’t be such a ninny, Liam.” Zayn snarked as he began hurriedly rummaging through the hallway closet, producing old pairs of wellies that he tossed to each boy that removed his own shoes, Louis taking care to pack his shoes to his rucksack as he shrugged it back to place on his shoulders.

“You’re not going to come back?” Josh questioned lightly as Louis shook his head and frowned.

“Mum has to work tonight and I’m not sure who’s to watch me and Lottie.”

“Bums.” Niall sympathized as Louis shrugged and grabbed him round the neck, knocking their heads together as Liam gave a sigh and shed his shoes to step into Zayn’s dad’s wellies that completely swallowed his feet.

“Liam?” Zayn questioned teasingly as Liam’s face pinched to a serious expression.

“But I won’t get into mud!”

“Won’t get into mud.” Louis mused to Niall’s ear as Niall cackled evilly, both boys seeming to think about the same thought as Josh was first out the back door to the onslaught of cold rain that pelted his skin.

As each boy took the stairs to the large, open lawn drenched in the shadow of Zayn’s massive house, they began to push and shove one another to the slippery grass that gave beneath their weight in fleeing toward the tree line that would harbor most of the rain. Liam’s house was as if a slick in the rain as each boy began twisting through the trees in happy calls and shouts of laughter to the freedom and liberation being consumed from one and passed to the other. It was amazing to be carefree and weightless in that moment, Louis rounding a tree quickly to leap to Liam’s back as Liam began to spin wildly only to dump Louis to a soft, dead pile of leaves as Zayn took them both down.

“Wait!” Niall began to shout as Josh rushed him from behind, all boys dying off in their laughter as they looked easily to Niall’s expression suddenly screwed in concentration. “Just wait, Josh! Don’t touch me!”

“What is it?” Josh rushed as he moved the wet fringe from his eyes, Niall spinning quickly in the other direction as he struggled through frozen fingers to wrench the zipper of his trousers down.

“I have to piss, just don’t talk! Makes it go back up!”

“Niall, honestly!” Liam reprimanded as Zayn jumped to his stomach, Louis lolling to his back as he closed his eyes to the softness of the leaves to his back and the large and subtle drops of rain that fell to his cheeks as he managed the rucksack from his back.

“What? I had to drink a lot of water because I was nearly going to die! Not like the lot of you were going to jump in and help me a bit, yeah?” Josh rolled his eyes to Niall’s dramatics as Zayn loudly began mocking Niall’s choking, Liam falling to a fit of hysteria as Louis settled in peace to the feeling of being _full_.

“How are we going to survive the entire day dealing with Eleanor Calder and her disgusting troop of girls?” Liam called out suddenly as Louis’ eyes wrenched open, his nose crinkled in disgust as Zayn slung himself to his back between the two muddled within the leaves as he heaved a sigh.

“Well, it won’t be easy-”

“What is it about girls, anyways? We tell them we don’t want a thing to do with them and they still come back!” Niall shook himself as he turned to his own comment with a look of disgust, Josh clapping him to the back as he smirked.

“It’s only because you’re so cute, mate.”

“Shove off-”

“We’ll have to outsmart her.” Louis spoke up as he quickly sat, his face creased in thought as he reached for a large branch to hold before him as if Eleanor herself was going to crawl from the dirt to rush to his arms. “Something diabolical that will want her to keep her space and never follow us round the lawns again.”

“Set her hair on fire.” Zayn suggested as Liam nearly lost his marbles.

“Zayn! You could kill her if you thought of doing that!”

“We could all fart with her and her stupid friends around and gas them out.” Josh suggested as Louis shrugged with a pronounced smirk to Niall’s absolute loss of self-control as he nearly pissed himself a second time.

“She needs a hobby-”

“She needs a _life_!”

“All girls need to just go to their own primary and leave us be.” Liam decided as he still shot Zayn a nasty look, Zayn curling into Liam’s side as he smiled to how much more clever his idea was.

“Well, whatever we do, just promise me we’ll stick together.” Louis spoke up gently as all eyes turned to him; Louis’ eyes trained to the stick within his hands before he met their gazes patiently. “You guys are my best mates, and I dunno if I could do it alone-”

“Oh come off it, Louis, don’t make this a girly thing!” Niall scoffed as he rolled his eyes and snatched Josh round the neck. “We’re here to discuss how to avoid them, not how to get in touch with our emotions!”

“I’m only saying!” Louis defended as Liam reached around Zayn to touch to his knee carefully.

“We know, Louis.”

“Now stop making this gay.” Zayn snapped as he shoved Louis over to the pile of leaves, Louis staying to his back just in time to see a large fling of mud fly over his head, the stick still clamped within his hand raising above him as he sat to look to where it’d come from.

“You’re so dead!” Josh screamed quickly as he scooped the mud from his face, Niall’s face folded completely in laughter as Zayn’s dirtied hand fell to his side, the smack of mud catching him completely off guard as Liam screeched.

“We said no mud!”

“Niall, don’t help him!”

Louis pulled his legs to his chest as Zayn, Niall and Josh began tearing off through the trees, handfuls of mud clasped to their frozen fingers as they pelted one another to their backs, legs and only extra points for a shot to the back of the head or a direct hit to the face. Extending a hand toward Liam, Louis could feel his laughter shredding from between his lips to Liam’s gasp of horror as he felt the mud hit his back, his jumper growing heavy and soiled as his entire body froze to what he _knew_ had happened.

“Louis, please tell me it didn’t.”

“Liam, I don’t think you want to know.” Louis helped slowly as Liam’s hand dropped, Zayn’s palms covering his mouth as Niall quirked an eyebrow in defeat.

“Liam, you’ve got to stop being such a prude-”

“You’re so dead!” Liam screamed as he rocketed to his feet, Niall’s eyes growing as he looked toward the streak of anger thundering after him as he turned and beat for the opposite direction, Louis knowing it wouldn’t take much longer after that until Zayn’s hand was clutched tightly to the back of his hair, the other smashing a large smat of mud to his face as Josh gasped with laughter.

“Sorry, Louis.” Zayn muttered as Louis’ fingers dug to the soil at either side of him, the feeling of his nails instantly dirtying causing a shiver to run his spine before he was tussling Zayn to the ground beneath him until he was smearing the mud to either of Zayn’s cheeks.

“Have to do it though, right?” Louis questioned as a large, wet mass splattered to his chest, Josh raising his eyebrows in challenge as Niall and Liam still chased after the other with fists of mud raised.

“How do you think he did it?” Zayn questioned suddenly, Louis letting the fling of mud fly from his fingers directly to Josh’s balls as he began to cackle wildly to Josh folding over on himself to the grass as Niall leapt over his back without time to spare as Liam’s mud ball flew to pass just over his head and smash only an inch from Zayn’s face. “Harry, I mean.”

“Do what?”

“The castle and everything? I mean we weren’t all crazy, were we?” Louis settled to sit back to Zayn’s stomach as he chewed to his bottom lip, Liam joining them all back to sit heavily to the grass before wiping the mud vainly from his cheeks, neck and hair, sighing in defiance at knowing it wasn’t going to come away.

“The castle was brilliant!” Niall piped up as Josh shoved him away, his hand smashing to Niall’s face and tainting him with a mouth full of mud and grass.

“I dunno? Harry always says if you concentrate hard enough, then making anything can be easy enough.”

“All it takes is concentration?”

“And a bit of an imagination I should think.” Josh offered as Louis nodded and crawled from Zayn, his fingers wrapping to the stick he’d held before as he fought his muddied and heavy fringe back from his forehead that fell painfully to his eyes.

“Like, with Harry? He would be able to turn this to a sword without thought.”

“Maybe he’s just a professional or something?” Niall offered as Zayn snorted and crossed his hands to his stomach.

“Or he’s a creepy kid with too much time on his hands.” Niall thought of laughing yet decided against it to the color rising to Louis’ cheeks that burned through the mud as his fingers tightened drastically to drive a splinter just beneath his thumbnail painfully that he barely noticed.

“Take it back.” Louis growled as he kicked to Zayn’s side, the stick raised as the flash of a blade appeared before the sword was launched to the ground next to Zayn’s head as Louis stood tall to Zayn’s wide eyed gaze of shock. “Take it back or I’ll have your head!”

“Louis, calm down!”

“He’s not creepy! He’s being held against his will! He wants to be normal, but he’s so small he can’t! Take it back or I’ll leave!” Louis drew the sword from the soft earth that seemed to moan to the loss as Liam stood and held Louis about the middle, Zayn leaping to his feet as well as his face flushed with cold and a dull anger rose as well.

“You don’t have to get so angry about it, I was just making a joke!”

“It wasn’t funny.” Louis snapped as Niall and Josh came in to stand between them as well, Niall holding his hands up for everyone to be quiet as his face screwed heavily.

“Just shut up the lot of you, I’m concentrating and I want to know if it’ll work!”

“I don’t think-”

“Shut up!” Niall demanded as Louis’ eyes never left Zayn’s, Zayn immediately taking to pouting as he crossed his arms tightly to his chest only to slowly start _sinking_.

“Niall, be careful you don’t poo yourself.” Josh hassled as Niall sighed angrily in frustration, his arms dropping to his side as he cocked a hip in impatience.

“I was thinking really hard, though!”

“Maybe we should just go back to the house-”

“Niall, what did you do?” Zayn shouted suddenly as all eyes fell to him, Niall’s hands clapping together excitedly as he made to jump before he found himself stuck and sinking as well.

“Niall!” Liam scolded as Louis’ hands flailed before he was swept from balance to fall to his bum in the sinking _mud hol_ e Niall had thought up.

“A sink hole?” Josh scoffed as Niall begin to panic, his arms waving over his head as he looked for some sort of switch to turn it all off.

“What do we do?”

“Fix it!” Zayn demanded as he fell to his waist in mud, the ground beneath Liam’s feet giving a great heave as Liam was instantly swallowed, the boy’s screams echoing through the trees as Josh was next sucked away, Louis and Zayn looking to one another quickly before Zayn’s hair was the only thing left peeking above ground.

“Niall, fix it!” Louis snapped as Niall finally began to sink, the trees around them seeming to turn to mud and melt over on themselves as well as Niall began turning fast, only pushing himself further down.

“How? How do you fix this? Is this even real?”

“It could be, just think of the normal woods you ninny!” Louis shouted as his arms and shoulders were swallowed, the mud licking up his neck as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut and looked toward the sword glittering just out of his reach. “Niall!”

“Alright! I just wanted another meat pie and maybe some Twiglets!”

Looking frantically toward the bubbles coming from Louis’ now sunken head, Niall squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he began chanting his demand of normal land, his legs and arms tensed to the sinking and cold mud filling the borrowed wellies as he strained and turned red in the face, only to begin laughing uncontrollably in his loud passing of gas before the other boys were soon sprawled to the grass behind him as Niall never gave thought to the fact that he’d farted without excusing himself.

“I guess that’s one way to bring us back.” Josh gasped as he let his head fall heavily back, Niall smiling proudly before he was smacked to the face with a glob of mud gathered from Zayn’s jumper.

“You prat, don’t smile like you’ve done something good!”

“I did it though!” Niall winked to Louis as Louis’ incredulous look gave to exhaustion, the grown up, darker side of Louis returning as he gave a breathy laugh and a roll of his eyes. “I’ll have to think of different things of course, but still! I’ve done it!”

“Stupid.” Liam muttered as he stood and tried to wipe the mud from himself, Louis rolling over to his abandoned rucksack as he sighed and stood heavily.

“I need a bath.”

“Niall needs a brain.” Josh tossed in as Niall promptly flicked him off to Liam’s horror.

“Will you be at primary tomorrow then?” Zayn cut in as Louis slowly began walking through the trees toward Liam’s house to cut through the garden and to his own house. “Like, fully there.”

“Yes, Zayn. And I’ll make sure to leave my stupid friend and his stupid business at home.” Louis snapped as he turned away with a flick of his fringe, Josh and Niall whistling lowly as Zayn rolled his eyes and grabbed tightly to Liam’s wrist, nearly tugging him along as he began muttering and attempting to curse beneath his breath.

“See you tomorrow, Louis!” Liam called as Zayn tugged a bit harder, Niall and Josh wrapping to one another as they cackled with delight to how muddy and dirty and brilliant Niall’s imagination was in all its _simplicity_ and splendor.

“See you, mate!”

“Love you, Lou Lou!”

Shaking his head and giving a small smile, Louis again didn’t bother to look back as he carefully picked his way toward Liam’s house that promised his own wasn’t far behind. The high of the friendship and love he’d experienced still carried him lightly and carefree as he was soon stood to his front door, the muddied footprints trailing from across the street and up the front steps still a reminder of the fun and glow he’d just experienced, though Louis realized they were still able to be washed away with the coming of the intensity of the rain that began to sour the earth again.

Wrenching the knob and pushing the door from his way, Louis was about to step to the front hall when Jay was there shoving him back out.

“Absolutely not! What’ve you been doing? I’ve been worried sick, and you’re all dirty!”

“I was with-”

“Harry, yeah.” Jay snatched the rucksack from Louis’ back as she carefully laid it to the floor, most of the mud still clinging to Louis’ body as she looked him over, ignoring the pulled expression of chagrin.

“ _No_ , I was with the lads.”

“Really.” Jay read uninterested and she motioned Louis raise his hands above his head, Louis following with an expression of disappointment as he felt one side of himself shove the other to the corner, as he remembered there was never to be two sides like these that would simply melt in harmony.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve gotten the call from your dean, so don’t expect just because I’m having to work that I won’t deal with you about it.” Jay snapped as Louis felt his jumper and coat being slung over his head, his eyes tracing over Jay’s scrubs as he again heaved a sigh of disinterest.

“Oh-”

“That’s it? I received a call that you were bullying a little girl named Eloise?”

“Eleanor.” Louis corrected as Jay picked up the wellies and Louis’ trousers before she ushered him inside, the dirtied clothes balled to her hands as Jay preached on her way loudly to the laundry, the warmth of the house conflicting to the wet of Louis’ skin as goose bumps instantly rose.

“Whatever! You were bullying a little girl? Since when are you mean?”

“Since Eleanor’s a stupid girl who won’t keep away from me!” Louis snapped as he caught the towels Jay handed to him stiff-lipped, her eyes reading dangerous as she assessed Louis’ tone.

“Is this the little Calder girl?” Louis nodded as Jay rolled her eyes and patted her pockets in search of her wallet and keys, her purse laying open to reveal everything she needed to the floor of the hallway as she instantly breezed past. “I think she’s a lovely little girl, very cute!”

“You would.” Louis mumbled as dug his bare toes to the wood of the hallway, brushing past Jay as he never even took time to be embarrassed of the fact that he was walking round in his underwear, his sights set to the bathroom as Jay spun wildly in the hallway.

“What was that? Louis! Have you seen my keys or wallet?”

“Nope!” Louis called over his shoulder as he let the bathroom door snap closed behind him, the towels falling sloppily from his arms to crumple to the side of the tub as Louis stopped the drain and began running the water as hot as he possibly could.

Waiting for an indication that Jay was finally gone, Louis was met with no luck as he perked to the sound of a loud knock on the front door and Jay’s rushed and muffled voice before the door was again slamming shut and the rumble of Jay’s cars sounded to the driveway. Scoffing and shaking his head that read at least five pounds heavier due to the caked mud gracing his fringe, Louis cracked open the bathroom door to peek to the hall, his interest furthering when he heard no voices and found no strange new person loitering in the hall to look to all the family photos hung.

Letting his hands hang before his crotch, Louis slowly picked down the hallway toward the living room as the television began to blare, Lottie’s garble meeting him in an excited tone as Louis poked his head round the corner to a _greasy_ and messy head of hair. Tom?

“Tom, did Jay say Louis was in the bathroom washing up?” A familiar voice called from the kitchen as Tom lay his head back, his eyes meeting with Louis’ as they both mirrored a smile.

“Nah, I’d imagine he’d be standing in the room with me in ‘is underwear!” Louis’ smile furthered as he turned to Lou rushing up behind him, his thoughts completely turned from the fact that he was nearly stripped down as he wrapped his arms tightly about her middle swathed in a sweater that was at least five times her size. “Probably come to ask one of us to scrub ‘is back as well.”

“Come off it, you dick.” Lou snapped as she rubbed Louis’ back, her fingers calmly touching Louis’ forehead as Louis looked to her with a teary expression that caused Lou to squat in worry. “Hey, you alright?”

“I just missed you, s’all.” Louis muttered as Lou’s lips parted in wonder, a small smile gracing her face as Louis let his disregard for everything fall away to wrap his arms tightly to that ditzy teenager’s neck and hug her as tightly as he possibly could. “Don’t do anything stupid to get fired again.”

“So, you missed me then?” Lou chuckled lightly as Louis nodded, his hands tangling lightly to Lou’s long mess of hair as he blinked away the tears that seemed to gather from both his happiness in Lou and Tom being back, but also Zayn’s hurtful words about Harry and Anne’s darkness that Louis was terrified in further discovering. Whispering gently, Lou hugged Louis tighter as Tom gave a gentle pat to Lottie’s bum as she waddled past to pick up her toys before dumping them to his lap.

“You can’t leave again, as I might miss you.”

  
  


⊱⊰


	13. A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“The sunlight hath linked me through the ages to that past consciousness we need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness; God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass – they all grow in silence. We crave silence in touching one another’s souls for nature is restful to look at because it lives without emotion or conflicts.  ”

  
  


[I Have Two Shadows](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3nJVdxL4l0)

 

 

It had been an entire week Louis had gone without seeing Harry, though it wasn’t because he hadn’t tried. Everyday after he parted with the other boys, Louis would quietly trudge his way through the wet and darkened woods toward the clearing that he’d always hoped would show Harry twirling about himself, waving around a sword toward an unknown adventure that he wasn’t yet to reveal to Louis. Though everyday, it had turned out the same; the clearing was quiet and unmoving, the house locked and shut up tight to keep out any sunlight. And even as Louis would hesitantly knock to the back door, his skin would always crawl uncomfortably to the low, warning growl that would emit from within that was meant to usher him away and never return. So maybe that’s why Louis refused to fall from the side of his bed that morning, the constellations swirling about his feet raised to kick his toes through the stars as he sighed to his missing of Harry. He could still see his flush face laid to the pillow next to his own as Louis’ fist had brought them closer together, their lips shyly meeting in heat as Louis’ heart fluttered and squeezed to his throat, a goofy smile falling to his lips as Louis allowed himself to fall back to his bed and dismiss the universe from bothering him that day.

Rolling to his stomach, Louis listened to the sounds of the house as Jay went about getting Lottie ready for daycare, Mark long gone to his job as he’d come in that morning to pressure Louis to pretend he was sleeping as he’d gently laid a hand to his shoulder and sighed in sadness. It was all confusing and mumbled, and yet Louis could do nothing more than miss Harry and revel to their kiss. It hadn’t been rushed, it hadn’t been disgusting or rude, it had been sweet and simple and Louis knew he was never going to have another kiss in his life that would compare.

“Louis, I expect you’re getting dressed! The bus will be at the road in thirty and I’ve left you some money to take!”

“Don’t want to go!” Louis called back as he slid from the side of his bed to the floor, his face pressed tightly to his crossed arms as he longed to crawl back beneath his duvet and dream all day. Sighing further to the feet rushing to his door, Louis didn’t bother to rise to Jay’s feet scampering about in pulling out trousers and a jumper once in his room.

“Come on Louis, don’t be difficult! You’ll have fun at the museum, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Louis muttered as he longed to do nothing more than beg to be dropped off to Harry’s front door with only the excuse that he couldn’t be turned away on account of he had nowhere else to go.

“Enough pouting, come on and get dressed! I can’t be late!”

“Well, I can’t get dressed with you in here!” Louis snapped as he quickly sat and fixed Jay to a bewildered look, Jay rolling her eyes as she tossed a pair of socks to Louis’ face.

“Like you have anything to hide that I’ve not already seen-”

“Mum, that’s gross!” Louis howled as he snatched up his clothes and fled the bedroom toward the bathroom, Jay shaking her head with a faint smile as she went to making up Louis’ bed fresh.

In their rush, Louis was given a few extra pounds that he shoved to his runner for fear of losing along with a quick ruffle of his fringe into a quiff that he decided would do fine for the day. Snatching Lottie from running off to strip her shirt again before burying herself to her bin of dolls and dress-up clothes, Jay was urgent in ushering Louis along to the car before they were all breathing a sigh of relief to the sun’s sudden and unexpected appearance that nearly blinded them all.

“’S bright!” Lottie squealed in excitement as Louis turned to her from the passenger seat, their smiles mirroring one another as Louis looked to Jay in accusation as she guided the car to the main road.

“Can’t I just go with Lottie for the day?”

“No, you have to go learn things, Louis.” Jay mumbled as she brought the car to the side of the road alongside the other _five_ boys stood around giggling and talking softly in wait of the bus. “Is Harry going?”

“Bye!” Louis rushed as he nearly broke his hand in thrusting the door open, Jay managing to snatch him by the collar of his jumper as she pulled him back in the car to kiss to his head quickly.

“I’ll be round tonight in time for dinner, yeah? Mark should be there when you get home-”

“Alright, bye mum!” Louis rushed as Jay continued to kiss to his head.

“I love you-”

“ _Mum_ , love you!” Louis sighed as he managed to escape and slam the door in announcing of his presence, the group of boys turning to him as Louis’ eyes locked immediately to Harry’s which rang so much brighter and happier than last he’d seen them.

“Hi Mrs. Tomlinson!” Niall called as he and Josh waved, Jay pulling up next to their group slowly to roll down the window as Harry and Louis gave a slight hesitation of embarrassment before throwing their arms around the other to squeeze as tightly as they could.

“Hi boys! Keep Louis in check, yeah? He’s been a bit of an old queen this morning.”

“Go away!” Louis tossed over his shoulder as Harry pressed his nose tightly to Louis’ neck, Jay rolling her eyes dramatically as Lottie screamed happily from the back seat as her chubby hands waved quickly to the boys that pulled faces in amusement.

“Louis, I mean it! I don’t want another call! Behave!” Louis decided he wasn’t going to entertain Jay with a further answer as he held Harry an arms length away from himself, Jay’s eyebrows quirking slightly to the gesture before she waved slightly and pulled to the main road with Lottie buzzing in the backseat, Harry’s eyes fixed widely to Louis’ as Louis took in the tawny and soft elegance that he’d missed in not seeing the last time he’d been with Harry.

“Where’ve you been?” Louis whispered gently as he brought Harry again tightly to his chest, Harry melting to his touch as he breathed deeply to Louis’ smell.

“I was just running around with my mum-”

“Get a room.” Zayn gagged as Louis again held Harry at an arms length, looking him over carefully as Harry openly smirked in amusement.

“It’s like you’ve never seen me before, Louis.”

“You just look… different?” Louis hinted as Harry shook his head and wrapped an arm to Louis’ waist, turning them back to the group of boys that seemed to be buzzing and vibrating in place to the possibilities of fun and mischief that the day held for them.

“’M no different, I swear.”

“Good.” Louis decided as he squeezed his grip tighter to Harry’s waist, pulling him warmly to his side as Louis realized that the other boys _were_ there, and it was _nice_.

“So, what’s the plan in sneaking Harry along?” Niall schemed as Liam’s eyes grew wide, Louis’ heart picking up pace as he thought of spending the entirety of his day in Harry’s presence.

“Niall, we could get in so much trouble-”

“But it could be fun!” Josh offered as Louis nodded quickly and looked to Harry expectantly, Harry’s cheeks a little bit rosier than usual in the cold, yet still framing his face beautifully to the rare kiss of the sun tangling through his tossed curls piled about his head.

“I would, but my mum’s home all day and she’d have a fit.” Louis’ face dropped as Zayn looked cautiously between the both of them, his eyes tracing Louis’ fingers that played to Harry’s side as he moved closer to Liam’s hand on his lower back.

“We could ask?”

“She’d only get angry, I think.” Harry mumbled as he ducked his head, Louis biting to his bottom lip as all boys turned to the low rumble of an approaching engine. “You’ll have fun on your trip, Louis-”

“Harry, we can just say you’re my cousin or something.” Louis rushed as his voice took an edge of urgency, Liam instantly reading Louis’ plan as he landed a hard punch to Louis’ chest.

“You can’t skip out on this trip, they’ll call your mum!”

“Louis, you’re not serious!” Zayn marveled as Louis ignored them both to focus to Harry, Niall and Josh looking to the other before they nervously kicked the rocks of the road with the dirtied toes of their runners in nervously pacing to the edge of the road for the bus that was slowly pulling the hill.

“I can.” Louis whispered as Harry looked to him carefully, his eyes reading the expression of Louis’ face that was somewhat pulled in sacrifice. Harry _knew_ Louis would stay and waste the day away with him, and looking to Zayn and Liam who frowned and looked to the other in disapproval, Harry _knew_ Louis would regret it, though he wanted nothing more.

“No, you have to go with your primary.” Harry dejected firmly as he gave a pat to Louis’ side, Louis’ eyes fighting to read his expression as Harry planted a firm, wide smile to his cheeks that never quite reached his eyes.

“Bus!” Niall shouted, causing them all to jump as Harry’s fingers tightened to Louis’ jumper.

“Come on, Louis.” Zayn coaxed as Niall and Josh ran to the bus doors to the greeting of the other lads on board that watched carefully from the windows to Louis turning in a panic to Harry’s front.

“You’ll be alright, though?”

“I’ll be fine!” Harry snorted as he gave a small shove to Louis’ chest. “What did you think I was doing before you came into the picture?”

“It’s hard to remember what _I_ was doing.” Louis muttered as he gathered Harry to a tight hug, Harry’s lips pressing discretely to his neck as he soothed a hand to Louis’ lower back.

“I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Harry smiled a bit wider as he locked pinkies with Louis solidly, Louis giving a tight nod as Zayn gave a hard tug to the back of his jumper, his fingers falling to wrap tightly about Louis’ upper arm as he rushed them alongside Liam toward the bus that gave a short honk of impatience.

“You’re so embarrassing, Louis! It’s not like he’s going away or anything.” Zayn hissed as Louis looked to him with death in his eye.

“Sometimes he goes missing for days and I can’t see him! What do you know about anything?”

Ripping his arm from Zayn’s grasp, Louis was first up the stairs to the bus as Liam gave Zayn a reproachful look, waving kindly to Harry over his shoulder as he followed Louis to sit across the aisle from him to the seat before Josh and Niall who were nearly about to shit themselves of excitement. Sat within his seat, alone as always, Louis pressed his nose firmly to the glass as he watched Harry until the last second, his heart seeming to shatter to a million pieces at the sight of the small boy stood alone swiping the sleeve of his jumper quickly to his cheeks before he vanished to the trees waving at the side of the road.

It was almost as if Harry had never been.

  
  


The sidewalks of London were teeming with life as the bus rumbled past, many of those walking smiled in craning their heads back to the children that hung happily from the windows and waved to them as they passed, but not Louis. The sun was warm to his cheeks and he could revel in the happiness that there was no rain if only for the day, but he couldn’t be happy that Harry wasn’t getting the chance to experience what he was. There was no reason that Harry shouldn’t have the opportunity to go to primary and come on the trip with him and the other lads, and while he knew Anne would’ve gone mad in trying to locate Harry and possibly given him to the monster herself, Louis still couldn’t help to be sad.

It was frustrating! Louis balled his hands to fists sat upon his thigh as he screwed his face to the tension welling in his chest. It was sunny and beautiful and he was away from the village, so why was he still so sad? It was like all he could do was wallow in this sadness that wouldn’t let him up to breathe even if he was gasping and begging for air! Why did it seem like Louis was the only sad one in the world? Leaning his forehead to the window, Louis didn’t notice the soft touch to his shoulder the first time, yet jumped as another touched him again.

“Louis? You alright?” Mrs. Austin whispered as she leaned over the seat to move Louis’ chin to face her with the gentle draw of her finger. “Wake up.”

“’M fine, not asleep.”

“You sure? You seem kind of blue this morning.” Louis hesitated as he moved his face from her touch, Mrs. Austin resting her hand to his shoulder as she gave him a gentle shake. “You can tell me, y’know? Was it to do with that little boy that couldn’t come along?”

“Harry.” Louis corrected quickly as he looked to the woman whose lips parted in recognition of the name.

“Harry? The little boy in your drawings?”

“I told you he was real.” Louis finalized as he turned back to the window, straining his eyes to the sun that welcomed him from the fog of his mind as he jumped slightly to the loud snort of laughter ripping from Niall’s throat.

“If you want to talk about anything, I’m here for you, yeah?”

“Louis Tomlinson!” A voice called loudly as the children aboard the bus began to grow restless to the museum towering over the nose of the vehicle, Louis’ attention snapping around to the girl storming down the aisle for him as Danielle called her back in embarrassment of having to sit alone. “Louis, I thought we were going to sit together!”

“Louis, be my boyfriend!” Niall teased as Zayn smirked and gave a toothy grin in mock.

“Oh Louis, you’re so fit!”

“Kiss me-!”

“Shove off!” Eleanor spat as she flopped herself to the empty seat next to Louis, Louis finally realizing what was going on as he flung himself tightly to the window.

“What do you want?”

“I thought you said we were going to ride the bus with one another?” Louis rolled his eyes as Eleanor reached a hand out to touch to Louis’ jumper softly, Louis promptly smacking her hand away as he stood and gauged how quickly he could jump over her legs and escape.

“I never said we were going to sit together-”

“Louis, I think we should be in a group with each other so we can keep each other company! I heard they have gardens here and it would be amazing to walk through them together!” Louis’ eyes grew wide as he looked to the tiny girl beaming and crossing one knee over the other.

“You’re mental! I don’t want to spend the day with you!”

“You haven’t got to be rude about it! You know my birthday is coming up!” Louis again smashed back to the window as Eleanor stood and pressed to his front, her fingers jabbing to his chest as Louis looked to Liam, Zayn, Niall and Josh who were all in fits and falling over themselves in watching the horror strike again and again to Louis’ face.

“Don’t you have someone else to bother? Stop _touching_ me!”

“Eleanor, that’s enough! Lets file out with everyone else.” Mrs. Austin spoke up as she patted to Eleanor’s back gently, Eleanor immediately crossing her arms tightly across her chest as she turned doe eyes to Mrs. Austin who had to bite her lip to hide her amusement.

“Louis’ not being nice, Mrs. Austin!”

“Maybe Louis needs a wee after the long drive.” Mrs. Austin offered as she winked to Louis, Louis rolling his eyes in return as he mocked Eleanor’s arms tucked around her chest.

“No, someone just needs to put a leash on Eleanor to keep her from following me around all day!”

“You take it back!” Eleanor snapped as she turned to shove to Louis, Louis dodging her grip as he nearly threw himself _from_ the window.

“That’s quite enough, I think it’d be best if you and Louis separate for the day!” Mrs. Austin sighed as she gripped Eleanor round the shoulders and began leading her down the aisle of the emptying bus now exposed to the open wind, Louis stumbling along behind her as Liam followed closely behind and patted Louis’ back in apology.

“Where were you during all that?” Louis bit sourly as Zayn and Niall were heard mocking the situation openly and making kissy faces to one another, Louis’ lighter side taking preference as he stepped to the warmth of the sun to look to the old building sat in splendor before him in a house of green and stone; as if a viridian mansion of vines and intricate flowers that made up the mortar and marble.

The building was old and set into what seemed to be a tiny plot of wild sat among the buildings and smog of London, a quiet breath among the hum of the trains close by and an oasis of carefree nature that thrived and lived as a fresh breath of air that Louis longed to swim in. To the side seemed to be what Eleanor had mentioned as the gardens, a large glass enclosure that was sure to be warm to the amount of sunlight reflecting back and kissing the multicolored flowers bending and twisting within in intricate beauty and design.

“Alright, you’re to get into a group and you’re to stay with that group! We’ll all be together save until after we watch a short musical performance where you’ll be given the choice of either going off to the aquarium, the conservatory or having a stroll through the gardens!” Louis ignored the maths teacher as he held his hands high over the children that buzzed about in an insatiable amount of energy, all the teachers lining up as they smiled and waved to the children that filtered around them. “You’re to choose a teacher and go along with them, and you’re not to leave them at any cost! Any lolling about will result in a call home to mum and dad, is that understood?”

There was a faint murmur in reply as Louis was grabbed tightly by the hand to Liam’s urgent tug to stand within Mrs. Austin’s shadow, his head swiveling quickly only to sigh in relief to Danielle tugging Eleanor away to stand to the bitter old woman that had stolen Louis away to the Dean’s office.

“I think we should do lunch first!” Niall announced as Mrs. Austin smirked and Josh fixed him to a bewildered expression.

“It’s not even noon yet! Didn’t you have breakfast?”

“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m not hungry again!” Niall wailed as Mrs. Austin dug to her handbag and produced a lolli that Niall shouted happily in response to, Zayn’s mysterious eyes still watching to Louis carefully as Louis leaned to Liam’s side with a sigh.

“Are you going to ever stop pouting over him? I mean, you’re going to ruin everyone’s day-”

“Zayn!”

“Why are you being so cruel?” Louis snapped as he shoved to Zayn’s chest, Zayn standing a bit taller as he puffed himself to appear bigger than he was. “Harry’s not done anything wrong and you’re mean!”

“You’re weird around him!”

“Not today, Zayn!” Josh commented lightly as he patted Zayn to the shoulder, Zayn reaching out to touch to Louis’ wrist with a frown of concern as Louis ripped his hand away.

“I don’t _like_ him, not for you-”

“I don’t care.” Louis snarled as he turned and fled to the rest of their group that stood around in anxious anticipation of the museum guide walking to them down the long, graveled path with her arms raised in welcome.

“There’s all the lovely, smiling faces! How are we?”

“Bit of a put on, isn’t she?” Niall mumbled through his sweet stuck tightly between his teeth and his cheek as he bumped to Louis’ side and smiled tenderly. “Don’t worry about Zayn, he’s been acting like a right mum lately.”

“I’ll not speak to him for the rest of the day.” Louis promised as he turned his nose up and focused to the museum guide smiling a bit too cheerily for the early hour.

“Welcome to our humble house, then! I feel you’ll all have quite a long day because we’ve got a lot of stuff built up for the lot of you to do, so why don’t we get started?” There was a slight round of applause as all the teachers looked to one another with sarcastic expressions to the woman’s obvious hatred of her job as she bounced along in lead toward the large, wrought iron doors that were thrown open in welcome.

“Louis, don’t get too far ahead!” Mrs. Austin called as Niall clung to the back of Louis’ jumper, Louis’ eyes fixing dangerously to Eleanor’s as she drug to Danielle’s arm in attempt to get them both to walk a bit slower in attempt to walk closer to Louis.

“I’ll never like girls.” Josh spoke up as Louis nodded bitterly, Liam tugging Zayn along behind him as he matched to Louis’ pace.

“I wonder if we’ll learn about anything that won’t put us to sleep?”

“As long as we’re promised lunch.” Niall grumbled, as Louis looked to him incredulously, each boy taking careful measure in stepping through the doors that opened to a grand, domed hall.

“Do you think of anything other than your stomach?”

“I’m a child, Louis! What else have I got to think about?” Louis giggled to Niall’s wrinkle of his nose as he began chomping to the lolli that was quickly disappearing, Louis’ breath stealing from his chest as he craned his head back in awe to his eyes crawling the molding and many, curved windows lining the ceiling.

There was an area below that showcased many glass displays of old and tarnished things, a walkway outlining different hallways to many exhibits above as you could look down to the people below and make fun of their crazy hair styles and the trousers their mum’s had picked for them that were pulled up so tightly they were nearly worn from the shoulders. There was a sense of peace in that museum as Louis closed his eyes briefly to the sun that filtered in and seemed to touch each piece of history that was rightly preserved and longed to not be forgotten, a tug to Louis’ jumper pulling him along as he listened to the echo of hundreds of feet moving against the long, marble staircase leading below.

“Alright little archaeologists! Time to take a step back in time to our exhibit of Natural History-” Louis instantly tuned out as he looked to Mrs. Austin in pain who simply shrugged back lightly and leaned her lips close to his ear.

“If I’d had it my way, we’d turn you loose in the gardens.”

Sighing in agreement to the thought, Louis followed to Liam’s footsteps as Zayn lead the line, their groups taking their formations in fitting before each individual case to look at the old and darkened bones of people that had once been everything Louis was now. They had been sad, they had felt what it was to be lonely or in love, and yet Louis couldn’t help but bite his lip in wonder. Would he ever end up behind a glass case with another little boy looking in on him, wondering how he’d fared in life? Was it fair to look to those before him that sat as nothing more than a few rib bones and a skull to try and identify with them? What kind of moronic kid would try to cooperate with a skeleton, after all?

Stepping before each piece of history in the drone of the story of how the world once was and once thrived, Louis and the other children began to grow restless to the useless information that would never stick. Sure, they could be shown skulls and they could be shown an ancient pencil, but it would never fully matter to them. Standing before what looked to be a deformed creature that was part fish and part something grisly and sinister, Louis looked away from Zayn’s reproachful gaze as he walked tightly to Niall’s back as Niall loudly went about making fun of everything in the raunchiest way he could, in return earning sharp smacks to his head from the grouchy, old teacher that Louis had decided wasn’t working in the right job.

“-And if we’ll step this way, we have a hands on display-” Louis was seemingly brought from his boredom and thought as a loud snicker erupted somewhere among the group, the museum guide pausing in her step before she turned to quickly flee to the room sat just around the corner. “Ruddy kids.”

“Niall, don’t throw that lolli stick there!” Mrs. Austin hissed as he gripped Niall’s hand quickly, checking around to make sure that no one had seen as Niall began to take on the face of a child that was about to start whining.

“Where shall I put it then?”

“You could’ve just given it to me.” Mrs. Austin chuckled as Louis grabbed to Liam’s arm tightly, giving a quick yank that brought all the boys tumbling forward as Louis sighed in relief to the distance he managed between a sneaking Eleanor and himself, and also bringing them to stand around the display table first.

“Cool.” Zayn breathed as he looked to Louis quickly, Louis simply quirking an eyebrow in response as Liam poked an elbow to Josh’s side.

“Look there!”

“This is what we as nomads of the prehistoric time would’ve used to hunt our prey, such as a slow moving deer or something we might’ve called a dik-dik-” The room seemed to explode in laughter and snickers as boys bit heavily to their bottom lips, the museum guide giving a pause as she looked to the teachers who stood around in boredom, sucking their teeth and checking their mobiles for something they’d not already heard a million times before. “A dik-dik is a small antelope, lets be adult about this!”

Louis couldn’t help but shake his head as he watched the museum guide hesitate in picking up a long, intricately carved handle that fitted to the spearhead side of the weapon.

“Now, these spears didn’t just come like this! They were made through many hours of meticulous planning and hard labor, and I believe in constructing the shaft-” Louis’ cheeks blushed as he bit to his bottom lip, a loud snort setting the rest of the boys off as they bit to their thumbs and tongues in fighting away their amusement as the girls looked to one another and rolled their eyes. “The shaft was without a doubt the hardest part-”

Louis’ eyes began to stream as other boys shoved and fell into one another, never minding the abrupt smacks to the backs of their heads from the angry maths teacher making his way round the group in effort of shutting them up as Niall was nearly blanketed by Liam’s body, Liam pleading and begging that Niall not get started simply for the fact that Niall’s laugh would draw attention and get them all thrown out. Finding the situation of everyone trying not to laugh as the museum guide grit her teeth and fought to continue on in her speech, Louis didn’t even mind that much that Zayn was clinging to his jumper sleeve as his toothy grin split his face widely in a sarcastic hue.

Sucking his lips back between his teeth, Louis watched the museum guide gently as she began passing around different artifacts that felt odd and distorted in his hands, his fingers tracing over the small patterns of what the world meant to whoever had made it at the time, and he couldn’t help but smile. It was weird to think he was just a small person in this huge world, and he was stuck in such a small village! If he’d have it his way, he’d pack up Harry and the other lads and they’d flee to travel the world over! Hell, Louis even thought he’d pick up a stick from a local park and take it with them so he could carve his travels about it to leave for some other boy in a museum to find.

  
  


The rest of the tour continued in this way, the museum guide saying the wrong thing and the boys of the group having no control of themselves as they bit their tongues to hold their amusement at how naïve she was being in trying to further elaborate. It wasn’t any less obvious that the museum guide was more than happy to clean her hands of the primary group as they all rounded to a twisting staircase that lead to an opened and glass lined room on the second floor to the back of the building, the floors and walls seeming to be built of light, echoing materials as the children’s footsteps reverberated loudly back.

Craning his neck around, Louis was still holding to Josh’s jumper sleeve as Mrs. Austin gathered the boys before her to lead them and the rest of their group past the rows of chairs lined in facing a slightly raised platform in which the museum guide was huddled to a group of grungy looking adults that smiled and waved to the children.

“This is so cool.” Zayn breathed as he surged forward, Louis following after Zayn’s step carefully as his own eyes grew as well.

There, to each side of the large and expansive room that branched from the smaller they’d entered through, Louis’ fingers couldn’t help but rub to the glass that housed what seemed to be thousands of old and worn instruments, the brass and copper of the spouts and mouth pieces accompanying the bodies that glittered in the sunlight filtering through the slight windows placed sporadically overhead. Eyes wide, Louis and Zayn unknowingly clung to the other as they marveled in awe to the old guitars and pianos that seemed to date back to a time they’d never before thought of, Niall’s lips pressed warmly to the glass as he marveled over an old instrument that was shaped to the form of an ancient bird he’d once heard his granddad speak of in a folklore story.

“If you’ll all come round, we have a special performance lined up for you-” The museum guide was cut off in her fake happiness as tiny feet came bounding toward her, her hands flying above her head as she again wondered why the hell she had agreed to take such a damning job.

“Look at it.” Liam breathed between Louis and Zayn as all three boys shifted their attention to what looked to be a microphone from the days of big bands and crackly television sets, Louis looking to Liam from the corner of his eye as he smirked.

“I didn’t know you still liked to sing.”

“He’s good too.” Zayn tossed lowly as Josh and Niall shoved toward them, Liam covering his cheeks in embarrassment as he shook his head slightly.

“It’s just for fun-”

“We should do it.” Louis decided firmly as Liam and Zayn turned to him with wide eyes, his attention diverted slightly for a second to Niall shoving a finger up Josh’ nostril before giving a shrug of indifference. “We all like music, and I could ask Harry to join! I don’t think he does anything for fun, anyways.”

“Always bringing him up.” Zayn snipped as Louis narrowed his eyes dangerously to slits. “He doesn’t have to do _everything_ with us.”

“Then forget the idea!” Louis snapped as he pushed away from the case, following along to Mrs. Austin’s touch at his shoulder as Louis sat to her side within the back row of chairs looking toward the group of adults now huddled to their instruments.

“You haven’t got to be so rude!” Liam hissed quickly as he and Zayn passed to the row behind Louis, Louis crossing his arms tightly about his chest as he thrust his chin a bit higher.

“You alright, Louis?” Mrs. Austin whispered as Louis nodded curtly and gave a slight sniff.

“When are we going to the gardens or off to do something fun?”

“Are you bored?”

“Terribly.” Louis snapped as his eyes crawled the face of the grand clock situated between windows telling that a few hours had already passed in blurred confusion of being swept within the past.

“Well, it won’t be long until lunch-”

“Like we’ve not been starving!” Niall hissed as he passed, Louis tossing a sly smirk over his shoulder as he and Zayn met for a brief second before Louis was spinning round and jutting his chin out again in defiance. Zayn was a regular shit and Louis wasn’t going to forgive him again so quickly, no matter what the distraction may be.

Tucking his ankles tightly against one another, Louis sat a bit straighter as he focused to the group of four that bent further about their instruments, a long dark haired woman taking initiative first in bringing the bow tightly to the strings of the cello that balanced heavily to her thigh as Louis marveled to the rich, low tone that emitted in cause of her eyelids fluttering peacefully. The buzz around the room seemed to grow and fade to nothing as silence fell heavily, Louis shooting a disgusted look to Eleanor who was sat staring at him in wonder before turning to the tune of a light, angelic plucking coming from the delicate, pale fingers of a wild redheaded woman who hugged the harp tighter between her legs.

It was beautiful, the sound they produced together. It was so deep and yet so light, rich and yet fulfilling in the way it melded to Louis’ bones and fled his veins in easing him to a sense of calm he’d never known to exist. Settling comfortably back to his chair, Louis was nearly moved from his seat as the violin and the soft plucking of the guitar played by the identical twin brothers began simultaneously. As a whole, the music was enchanting, and it seemed to carry throughout Louis’ lungs up until the point he was walking through the tunnel in which he would tilt his head back to watch the rainbow colored fish swim peacefully by, their flippers waggling in greeting.

Raising his hands above his head, Louis could still hear the pitches and pulls in melody and rhythm as the music beat through his head, a large, translucent jellyfish waving past the glassed dome as Mrs. Austin smiled to the sight of the dizzy dreamer. Louis didn’t mind that nearly everyone else was moved along in touching the fish that were set in individual tanks with their tops open, for Louis was lost in his own world. In his mind, Louis was able to melt through the glass and float away with the fish that fixed their beady eyeballs to his own as a sort of calling in encouraging Louis to leave his problems behind in swimming away with them to forget the worries of what it meant to walk upon two legs.

Running his fingertips lightly to the glass that was smeared with the handprints of the other children, Louis inhaled to the sharp crescendo that had reigned of the cello’s low wail as he pictured his fingers gliding to the soft scales of a passing fish that would gather him beneath its shadow from the soft sun that infracted through the waters of the miles and miles of oceans that would lead him all over the world in search of something he would never quite name; for happiness could not be placed in one mere word or place. Happiness was infinite and couldn’t be traced in simply one object, one look or feeling, or even one person and that’s when Louis thought of Harry. Louis thought of Harry swimming next to him through the warm salty water as his hair floated about his head as a dark crown, his smile blinding and brilliant as his feet kicked further and his tug to Louis’ hand issued him quickly along to the promise of infinite foreverness.

Louis had always marveled at being a bird or a fish, his eyes opening to watch a school of fish pass over his head as their fins caught the light of the sun gently in showing the veins and blood that kept their tales moving from the great, dark shadow that soon paused Louis’ feet and halted the music to a dull nothing in his head before his lips were pressed together tightly. Though she said nothing, Mrs. Austin watched as Louis’ hands lowered and his eyes watched the shark slowly pass overhead, the sharp catch of the shark’s nose cutting through the water as a predator in dismal darkness, Louis felt his throat close. In life upon land as in water, there was always a darkness come to steal the light from those who so desperately sought to only live in the warmth. Life was dark and disgusting in this way, and while Louis knew they were only fish and he was only passing through for the day, Louis couldn’t help but feel sorry for the fish that were forever captive in swimming daily in the fear that one day they would be snapped up in the jaw of a ruthless killer that wasn’t to give a damn about the life lost, or the sun never felt.

“Louis? You alright? They’re serving lunch and it looks to be that Niall is mowing it down a bit.” Mrs. Austin touched to Louis’ shoulder lightly as Louis looked to her through a misty gaze, his bottom lip gathered tightly between his teeth as he traced the scores of fish slowly dawdling past the space before him, giving the effect of flying.

“Why do they put the shark with the other fish?”

“Well, I’d imagine the shark gets hungry,” Louis looked to Mrs. Austin in bewilderment as she took a step forward only to have Louis lurch forward to smack his hands to the glass as he pressed his nose tightly to the water that he could nearly smell. “It’s just what happens, sweetheart-”

“Those fish don’t deserve to know that one day they’ll die!” Louis snapped as he turned to Mrs. Austin quietly, her face screwed gently before she was squatted before Louis, holding his tiny wrists within her hold loosely.

“Isn’t that how it is for all of us? None of us live forever, and I suppose it’s about how you spend your time _living_ -”

“Those fish swim round everyday knowing that one day they’ll be minding their own business and then they’ll just be gone.” Louis shook his head as his lip jutted quickly out, Mrs. Austin gathering Louis quickly to her chest as she soothed a hand down his spine. “It’s not fair for the fish.”

“Louis, what’s got you so _sad_? They’re only fish!” Louis shook his head as he frowned and pulled away, quickly stabbing his fingers to his cheeks to rid himself of the tears before standing a bit straighter.

“But we _are_ the fish.”

  
  


“Please tell me you’re not gonna waste the entire packet of crisps!” Niall groaned as his head lolled to the table, Louis narrowing his eyes in amusement as he picked the crinkly bag up between his hands loosely.

“What would you do if I were to just toss them?”

“Dive after them, of course! You can’t just _do_ that!” Niall barked as Josh bit to his sandwich with wide eyes, rolling them quickly to Niall’s over-dramatics as Liam sipped to his juice thoughtfully.

“It doesn’t seem like we’ve been away for the entire day, does it?”

“It’s only noon, so technically we haven’t.” Zayn offered as he slung an arm comfortably to the back of Liam’s chair, Louis looking to him quickly before averting his eyes in stubbornness.

“You know who we’ve not seen a lot of since the bus this morning?” Niall hinted as Louis shifted uncomfortably to nearly the same time he noticed Eleanor whining to Danielle with frenzied hands before she began to stare him down.

“Don’t speak her name or she’ll come over.” Louis hissed as he ripped the packet of crisps open and stuffed a handful to his mouth to bay back the mild call of disgust.

“You know we’re allowed to just roam the gardens? So, we’ll have to think of a way to sneak off without her or her friend following.” Josh shrugged as Liam’s cheeks hollowed, Louis fixing him to a particular look before he smirked.

“That’s right! Danielle has a crush on Liam-”

“I _don’t_ like her!” Liam hurried as he frowned heavily, shifting around uncomfortably in his seat as Zayn dipped his head with a dark expression marring the easiness of his eyes. “I’m just nice because she speaks to me first-”

“Be careful in being nice! Once is all it takes!” Louis preached round a mouthful as Niall cackled obnoxiously, taking a hard smack to the back of the head by the passing maths teacher as he scolded Niall for flashing round the food crushed and jammed to his tongue and cheeks.

“It’s a big garden, I don’t think we’ll have much of a problem.” Zayn growled slightly as he looked to Liam with wide eyes, Liam giving a slight nod as he knocked Zayn to the side encouragingly.

“We’ll be alright.”

Looking to their classmates all sat round their tables and chatting lowly in the café of the museum, Louis met glances with Mrs. Austin, only giving her a fleeting second of his attention before shifting in boredom to fling the rest of the packet of crisps to Niall’s waiting hands.

“Now, you’ve had most of everyone’s lunch and you’ll be hungry on the way home.” Josh grumbled as he tried to sneak a piece of Niall’s cookie, Niall fixing him to a nasty look before he smiled happily.

“I told me mum to pack me more to go, but she said there was no way the café wouldn’t be able to fill me up.”

“Has your mum _met_ you lately?” Liam giggled as Louis rolled his eyes to Eleanor’s searching smile as he groaned and looked longingly across the café that seemed to be sunken within the floor of the museum as he longed for the chill wind biting his cheeks.

“We’ll head to the gardens as soon as everyone seems to get finished eating-” Mrs. Austin announced as she was quickly cut short to loud shouts of agreement and tiny feet stamping to marble as Louis sighed in gratitude. _Finally_! “Or we can all just run like wild animals.”

“You have no control!” The cranky, older teacher preached as Mrs. Austin bowed her head in respect, chewing to her bottom lip as she shrugged.

“Some of us would rather not whip the children.”

Louis paid no mind to the adults bickering childishly as he leapt from his seat with a flush to his cheeks, the excitement rising to the back of his throat seeming to bubble over as he bounced slightly in his shoes.

“What’re you so excited about?” Niall questioned cryptically as Louis tangled his fingers together and smiled brightly to Niall’s still bulging cheeks as the group of boys fell into quick step behind their classmates.

“This will be the most exciting thing we’ve done all day.” Louis announced as Liam knocked into his shoulder and smile encouragingly, Zayn’s brooding expression never making to dampen anyone expressions as the catacombs of the museum broke to light of the wide, expansive entranceway that Louis had nearly forgotten was so beautiful and captivating.

“I wouldn’t panic, but we’ve got a problem about to come up.” Josh hissed as Louis hung to Niall’s arm, he and Liam ducking over their shoulders in their climb of the grand, front stairs only to see Eleanor and Danielle pushing their way through the crowd with the boys in sight.

“She’s mental, that one!” Zayn snapped as he frowned and grabbed Liam’s hand tightly within his own, Liam gripping to Louis as Louis drug Niall and Josh along in his wake to Zayn’s loud shouts that others move from his way.

It was as if a game of cat and mouse, Louis and the boys hiding amongst the milling bodies as they finally managed to slip from Eleanor’s view, Louis watching from afar as Eleanor craned to her tiptoes and strained to see over the heads of the other children as her face crinkled in disdain to not getting what she _wanted_. Finally standing before the large front doors, Louis sighed in relief that there wasn’t a speech that had to be made, instead smiling to Mrs. Austin’s wit at simply shooing them outside to the gardens and smiling in pride to the loud whoops of excitement to the blast of cool air filtering and swelling within the grand entrance of the museum’s marble keep.

Releasing Niall from his grip and shaking free of Liam’s hold, Louis raised his face to the warmth of the sun that beat to his brow as he inhaled deeply to the crisp, fresh air that smelled of the city and what little green nature thrived in its small kingdom, the stuffiness of the museum left behind. Without thought or approval from the other boys, Louis’ feet were rocketing him across the grounds, his heart pumping in his chest as his eyes began to water in the cold, but Louis didn’t mind. There was something liberating and freeing in that moment that couldn’t and wouldn’t be expressed through any words in trying to describe how _alive_ he felt. Opening his fingers to the wind, Louis fell in place with other children before hanging a hard right into what looked to be a part of the gardens that no one was going near, his curiosity holding the best of him as he ducked beneath the tightly pulled chain into what looked to be a hedge maze.

“Louis!” A voice called softly as Louis’ forehead crinkled before his head whipped to catch what looked to be the ruffled edges of a curly haired boy ducking around the bend.

“Harry-”

“Louis, we’re not supposed to be in here!” Liam shouted suddenly as Louis jumped, watching the other boys roll in after him before his cheeks were breaking to a brilliant smile.

“I saw Harry! He went this way!”

“Harry didn’t come.” Zayn shot instantly as Louis held out a hand in the opposite direction stubbornly.

“I _just_ saw him- come on! I’ll show you!” Niall and Josh looked to one another with frowns as Zayn wiped his face void of emotion, Louis shaking his head in disbelief before he was swallowed to the shadows and branches poking about and cloaking the path as he chased to the tiny feet print left in the gravel and dust.

“Louis! Come on then!” The voice called again as Louis fought to run faster, sighing in frustration as he came to a dead end before joining into the laughter of the other boy stood to the mouth of the open path behind him as Louis swung in time to see the sleeve of a jumper disappear.

“Louis, wait up!” Niall shouted as Josh crashed to a hedge at Niall’s hard tug, Liam and Zayn breaking from their worry of Louis’ sanity if only for a second to split their sides in laughter to Josh’s arms wrapping the hedge.

“We’ve got a man down!”

“Niall, you prick!” Josh shouted as he slumped back to his bum, Niall folding over his shoulders as he attempted to hug Josh in apology while also dying of his own amusement.

“He’s getting away!” Louis shouted as he rounded the corner back and looked to the boys giggling wildly, their cheeks all flush and red as Liam ran a hand through his hair and Zayn rolled his eyes in finality.

“He’s _not_ here-”

“Louis!” Harry called again as Zayn’s lips froze, his eyes widening slightly to Louis’ look of dominance as Louis puffed his chest a bit further than necessary.

“ _Told you_.”

“But, how?” Liam sputtered as Louis shrugged and spun on his heels, tearing off toward Harry’s voice as the hedge maze became increasingly more rugged and un-kept.

“Louis, don’t run so fast!” Josh reprimanded as Louis spun a corner to shoot forward to the body that disappeared around the further corner, Louis’ cheeks pulled in a smile as he panted and fought to catch his breath.

“Harry! I’m going to catch you!”

“Try!” Harry teased, as his laughter seemed to echo through the hedges as Louis turned two more corners only to found he’d come completely in a _square_.

Frowning, Louis watched as the other boys stumbled to stand next to him, Niall nearly wheezing to death as he just fell to his side within the gravel and rock.

“’M going to puke! Didn’t know we were going to have a run or I wouldn’t eaten so much!”

“Niall, don’t chuck here or they’ll know someone was here that wasn’t supposed to!” Liam fretted as he looked to Louis with wide eyes as Louis turned to the hedge behind him with a particular look reading his eyes. “Can we go now? I don’t think Harry would’ve made it past all of us-”

“Be quiet.” Louis whispered as he raised a hand slowly, his feet bringing him gingerly forward as he allowed his fingertips lay within the leaves and thorny branches that seemed too still and quiet within the odd feeling sweeping each boy completely through.

“What is he doing?” Josh hissed as Zayn raised a hand that they be quiet, Louis’ lips parting in wonder as he pressed his front flush to the hedge, hand still raised.

“Harry?”

“You left me.” Harry replied simply from the other side as Louis’ eyes slipped closed sadly to the gentle voice only he could hear, his fingers gripping to the leaves as somewhere on the other side, in the middle of the maze, another small hand raised in adjacency.

“I’m sorry.” Louis whispered as he frowned, jumping slightly as the other boys swallowed the sick feelings from their throats to the _hand_ that slowly wound from between the branches and leaves to hold just before Louis’ face in beckoning.

“Louis, don’t!” Liam shouted as he rushed forward to smack Louis’ hand away from reaching to grasp firmly to Harry’s, Louis eyeing Liam in disbelief as he frowned.

“Don’t be such a mum, Liam!” Louis scolded as he laced his fingers to Harry’s and raised an elbow to move the thick branches from his way, the other boys watching in wide-eyed wonder to the hedge consuming Louis’ body entirely. Waiting for a few seconds in silence, an uneasiness passed throughout the group as Zayn stepped forward cautiously.

“Louis? Say something!” Given a pause and no response, Zayn kicked a foot through the hedge as he balled his hands to fists tightly. “Louis, don’t be an arse! Say something-”

“Oh my God!” A tiny voice marveled from the other side as Zayn looked to the other boys who watched the hedge with wide eyes. “It’s beautiful! You have to come see!”

“I’m scared.” Niall whimpered gently as he looked to Liam and Josh carefully. “Louis has gone mad!”

“We can’t leave him.” Zayn rushed roughly as he raised an elbow to fight his way through the hedge, Liam gripping to his loosely hanging hand as Josh drug Niall in behind as well, all boys pausing in their venture to the middle of the maze as their jaws nearly tucked to their bellybuttons.

There, running throughout the thousands of multi-colored and sweetly scented flowers was Louis, his arms stretched widely to his sides before he flopped to a bed of lilies that rose a song of butterflies that flitted and soared toward the warm kiss of the sun that was the only other to touch to that little, mystical paradise.

“How is _this_ possible?” Liam breathed in recognition of another past, unbelievable occurrence as he bent to touch to the gentle petals of a white rose, Zayn allowing his fingers open to the wind that climbed about warmer here than it had before.

“Wicked.” Josh shouted as he shoved Niall to a patch of violets, Niall’s face still reading a bit green from his excursion as he simply took the time to lie to his back and relax within the gentle and soothing smell that muddled his brain and rendered him tired and drowsy.

“It’s Louis.” Zayn decided as he watched Louis rise from the flowers and run round to the large, shaded tree that seemed to govern the entire secret garden from the rest of the world had anyone the sense to try and find it, Zayn’s feet cautiously moving through the lush and thick, hunter green grass as he again watched Louis flop to his back with the utterance of a single leaf floating to lie to the middle of his chest. “How are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” Louis laughed as he allowed his eyes slip closed again, Zayn standing nearly over the top of him this time as he snapped his fingers in agitation.

“This! This weird thing you do, stop it! You’re going crazy and you’re taking us all with you and it’s because of _him_!”

“Be quiet.” Louis snapped as his eyes fled open with a certain steel that caused Zayn to bite his tongue, his head shaking slowly as he jumped to Liam’s fingers curling within his own.

“Louis, this place-”

“It’s bloody brilliant, but it doesn’t do much for Niall’s tummy troubles!” Josh cackled as he began to drag Niall from the flowers that had eased him to sleep, choosing to dump him next to Louis as Josh heavily sat to Niall’s side.

“I think we should get back.” Zayn replied firmly as he gripped Liam’s fingers tighter within his own, Louis rolling his eyes as he sighed.

“And you worry about everyone else being a mum, why don’t _you_ stop worrying-”

“Because this is delusional! None of this is real, just like that castle!” Louis’ eyes snapped open as he sat, his sight deadly and locked to Zayn’s as Zayn refused to back down.

“No one is asking you to stay.”

“I stay because you’re one of my best mates, I dunno why you have to be so dense about the whole thing! It’s not normal!” Louis shook his head as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, Liam and Josh looking around quickly to the sudden drop in temperature as the flowers began to wilt and gray, the tree losing its leaves at an uncharted pace as everything around them began to die in an instant.

The field of Freesia and Iris never again to poke their gentle heads toward the sun as the Carnations and the Baby’s Breath curled to nothing but wilted bulbs of forgotten beauty left to hang limply within the dirt and the decayed grass. Focused to Louis, Zayn watched as Louis slowly bent over on himself and clutched at his middle, unaware of the shredding of skin and bone occurring within the confines of the jumper that housed so many untold secrets in the fact that the day of freedom and liberation was dwindling away.

“I hate you.” Louis coughed as Zayn shrugged simply and looked away, his eyes locked to the place they’d entered through before Liam was ripping their hands apart to smack to Louis’ back as Louis began hacking uncontrollably.

“You alright?”

“Can you choke a bit quieter?” Niall mumbled as he rolled his face to Josh’s thigh, Josh in return thumping him hard on the back as Louis began to panic to the insistent coughing that only grew stronger the further he struggled.

“Louis, what do we do?” Liam shrieked as Louis’ face suddenly turned a violent shade of purple, Zayn’s heart electrifying to life as he stepped forward to hold to Louis’ fists as his fingers clawed through the air.

“Someone has to go get Mrs. Austin-”

“No!” Louis managed as he sat quickly and gave a heave of his stomach, Liam and Zayn stepping quickly away as Louis ducked his head and parted his lips to relieve the pressure clawing up his throat to a single, dead _butterfly_ that lay in a puddle of spit and mucus to the grass, pale and unmoving.

“You ate a butterfly?” Niall roared as Louis held his throat to close his eyes to the tears streaming his face, his head shaking quickly as a flutter of his eyelashes revealed a pair of fiery _eyes_ watching through a gap in the branches of the hedges opposite.

“’S the monster.” Louis managed quietly as he swiped his fingers across his cheeks, standing as quickly as he could as Liam gripped to his arm in helping of Louis’ balance.

“This is so weird, now.” Josh observed obviously as Liam nodded and gave to Zayn’s sharp tug to his arm, his eyes fixed to where Louis had been looking just seconds before as a shiver swept his body to what he couldn’t have _possibly_ seen.

  
  


“Gather round and grab one to go and remember to plant them within a couple of days so their roots don’t shrivel!” A kindly, elder man shouted above the noise as children grasped to the tiny trees with their roots shrouded in little plastic bags, promising a fresh breath of new life.

“It’ll be dead within a week.” Niall promised as Liam turned his lips down sourly, admiring the thick branches of his own tree in pride.

“We should all plant them together.” To Liam’s suggestion all the boys burst out in laughter as they began heckling and shoving to each other, Liam’s eyes straying to Louis’ stiff posture as his lips closed tightly. “Louis? Plant your tree with ours?”

“Maybe.” Louis seemed to whisper as he clutched the tiny tree tighter to his chest, his eyes spacy and wide as his fingers rubbed to the solid, single leaf that grew as a miracle birth and set apart his tree from the others.

Louis’ complexion and mood had decreased dramatically since the boys had come to the secret garden within the middle of the maze, the fleeing scratches based around Louis’ ankles that were nearly gone suddenly throbbing in agony as a light, cold sweat broke to his forehead and his neck as he longed to be home; though there was no guarantee of safety there either. Louis had seen the monster, and he was sure of it! Harry might’ve talked to it, but that didn’t mean that the monster had to listen to anything! The monster could still have things to punish Louis for and Louis was terrified, his eyes gathering darkly to the lining up of the other children as they filed quietly from the museum’s conservatory to the bus that waited.

Everyone was tired and full of the swelling curiosity of what it was to experience a field trip and simply spend a day away where there weren’t any worries, but it was tragic in knowing that not all could know this peace. As a shell without thought or feeling, Louis trampled along through the grass with Liam, Zayn, Niall and Josh behind him watching on in worry as he quietly took the stairs of the bus before slowly filing down the aisle toward his original seat smashed against the window.

“Maybe I should sit with him.” Louis could hear Liam whisper as Zayn quickly shook his head and yanked Liam along with him to their original seat, Niall and Josh waving sweetly to Louis as they passed, but Louis never thought to pay them mind, because at this point it wasn’t worth it.

What did it mean to even cough up a butterfly? It was known a butterfly was able to fly until a single human touch to a wing resulted in it being grounded and unable to ever thrive in the air, damned to forever walk on those thin, spindly legs that would eventually give and never carry the butterfly away to paradise again before it died and was left to rot to the dirt with which it had never come from as humans did. Sniffling to the well of burning tears at the corners of his eyes, Louis simply wanted the madness to stop! He wanted to stop feeling so sad and hopeless and worthless in the eyes of the ones he loved, because he wasn’t crazy! Harry had chosen to show himself, and yet with Harry came the monster that was currently sulking the roof of the museum as a long, forked tongue licked to rubbery and black lips in pursuit of Louis sniveling behind the window.

It blended to the shadows as a mirage and Louis knew it was over. He knew he could no longer trust the other boys in the things he saw, and he most certainly couldn’t entertain Zayn with anything that had to do with Harry, because if Zayn had it his way, he would destroy them both.

“You alright, love?” Mrs. Austin’s gentle voice coaxed as she slid to the seat next to Louis, Louis stubbornly turning his back to her as he focused to the museum fleeing to the back bumper of the now moving and stuffed bus as the journey home began quietly to a throng of sleeping children nestled to their possibilities of replenishing the earth.

“I just want to go home.” Louis answered quietly as Mrs. Austin nodded and patted his thigh gently, her forehead crinkled in confusion as she watched Louis carefully.

“Do you want to talk to me about it?”

“No.” Louis answered quickly as he lay his forehead to the glass of the window, his eyes watching as London again bid him farewell, reminding him he was simply a butterfly being spat away from a place that longed nothing more than to _swallow_ him alive.

  
  


“You’re sure?” Liam called gently to Louis’ quickly retreating back as Louis kept his back straight and his head bowed, never bothering to look back to the boys still standing round the doors of the bus as they bid Mrs. Austin goodbye and giggled to Eleanor’s tantrum at Louis’ oblivion of her the entire day.

Louis was sure in the fact that he didn’t want to come to Liam’s house to plant the stupid tree, because he couldn’t stand the thought of having to be around anyone anymore that day. His chest burned and his head was pounding, and it was truly everything Louis could do to hold himself together and not cry. It felt so weak and so weird, and yet Louis knew visiting Harry knowing that Harry would be happy to see him and wrap him within his arms was everything Louis needed in feeling better.

Breaking to the side of the road with the tiny tree still clutched to his chest, Louis’ feet never ceased to the loud scream of excitement that was met within the quiet of the wood as he sighed in relief to know that Harry was still about running around, rather than locked away for the night. Urging his feet move a little faster and his heart not skip around in his chest so fast, Louis broke to the clearing with a smile on his face, only to have it freeze in place. Watching with wide eyes as Harry raced from one end of the clearing to the other, Louis felt a fire lick up the back of his throat to the _other_ boy that gave chase and managed to tackle Harry to a pile of leaves before they were cackling wildly.

Biting back the tiny whimper forming in his throat, Louis’ eyes grew glassy, as he knew this was the final straw; he was forgotten and replaced. The other boys had one another and it was obvious who was closer to who in that situation, and Louis knew he wasn’t going to be shown any respect or significant approval at home, so maybe that’s why it was so painful to watch Harry roll around in the dirt with this other boy as he dug his fingers to Harry’s curls to muss them around terribly. Harry was supposed to be _his_ saving grace, and maybe that’s why Louis began to freely allow the tears escape his cheeks; Harry was the only thing Louis had left.

Looking to his feet in rejection, Louis turned slowly before he frowned to the tree still poking him to the chest of his jumper, his fingers wringing to the crinkly plastic before leaning the tiny tree against another that seemed to heave a sigh of relief as if taking in a child that hadn’t been home for many years.

“Louis?” A voice called suddenly as Louis jumped, Louis’ hands balling tightly to fists as Harry gave a delighted chuckle of welcome, his feet heard thundering over the soft ground toward Louis. “Louis! I missed you, how was your trip thing?”

“Horrid.” Louis ground as he looked to Harry leaning over his shoulder, Harry’s eyes widening to Louis’ stricken and disgruntled look as his lips parted in question. “I have to go-”

“No, Louis wait!” Harry quickly gripped Louis by the wrist as he made to turn Louis around, Louis’ feet staying planted as he looked to the tall, goofy and gangly looking kid hanging back from them as he waved and exposed teeth that seemed too big for his mouth and large ears the projected from the sides of his head. “This is my friend, Nick! We were waiting for you to get back so we could all play-”

“I don’t want to.” Louis snapped as he wiggled his wrist free, Nick running a hand through his messy head of hair as he gave a slight smirk.

“We can all be friends, mate! Come and have at the adventure, old boy!” Louis looked to Harry in disbelief as he squinted his eyes and turned again to head back toward the road, Harry looking to Nick with wide eyes before holding up a finger to him to question he wait before he fled after Louis, only pausing slightly to touch to the beautiful, single leaf on the branch of a tiny tree.

“Louis, wait!” Harry called as Louis made to walk faster, Harry sighing loudly in frustration as he hopped over fallen branches and projecting roots as he finally managed to wrangled Louis round the middle before pressing his face tightly to the middle of Louis’ shoulder blades. “Louis, what’ve I done wrong?”

Louis stood unsure as his arms hung limply and awkwardly, his loud sniffles echoing about the small space and slithering between the trees as he realized what a real bitch _jealousy_ was.

“I just want to go home.” Louis whispered as he locked his fingers gently around Harry’s that were laced at his stomach before untangling them and starting forward again to the road that was just barely visible through the trees.

“But you’re mad at me!” Harry called pitifully as Louis stepped through the tall grass and nearly crept in dejection to the road as the utter piece of shit he felt. “Louis, but you’re mad at me! What did I do?”

That tiny whimper of begging seemed to follow Louis the entire walk home as he’d never tried to look back to Harry’s face that he knew was crumpled in pain and littered with tears. He was a bad person, and Louis knew it. He had this ability to make everything better and to make someone else feel better, and yet he chose to do something stupid and selfish and he’d ruined everything. Even the weather knew he was shit as the storm clouds gathered and swallowed the sun, for the day’s serenity had long passed.

It was back to dreariness and darkness as Louis was met by Mark at the door, Mark’s eyes widening to Louis’ stricken and sickly face as he questioned Louis’ wellbeing and felt his forehead only to loosen his grip as Louis quietly pushed away and headed for the solidarity of his room. The tears still burned and the salt still shriveled his lips and tongue, but Louis couldn’t help to feel _nothing_ as he locked himself in. Stripping to his underwear before sliding beneath his duvet, Louis hugged his pillow tightly to his chest as his mouth opened to allow an escaped and strangled sob before he bit the fibers beneath his teeth to silence the agony that he wasn’t willing to share.

Mark would knock, as would Jay, but no one would ever truly worry to break down the door in fear that Louis wasn’t going to make it because parent’s are never truly satisfied in knowing that their children experience pain, that they’re broken and at the point in their lives when they realize the world is a disgusting and fucked up place that we’re all crawling along on until we’re graced with death.

As night came swiftly and Louis still lay awake with swollen eyes and parted lips in struggle of breathing through his stuffed up nose, he didn’t bother to stir to his window opening quietly and sliding into place, never giving himself time to be angry at his stupidity of not locking it the night Harry had come the first time as a tiny body slithered to the bed behind him.

“Louis, are you awake?” Harry whispered with a measured gulp as Louis lay still, his eyes trained to the wall as Harry sighed and stripped away his trousers, carefully un-tucking the duvet from behind Louis’ back as Louis reveled to the cold contact of Harry’s toes pressed to the back of his calf. “’M sorry Louis, honestly! I dunno what I did, but I’m sorry.”

Harry hesitated as he settled his head gently next to Louis’ as he buried his nose to the bare skin of Louis’ shoulder and reveled in the warmth and the goose bumps that flourished to his light and gentle touch.

“I planted your tree, and one day when we’re grown up, we’ll come back and visit it and play beneath it.” Louis measured the yawn to Harry’s voice as he grew still and quiet, Louis giving it only a few seconds before he rolled over in anticipation of seeing Harry’s face fully.

Jumping to the wide, green eyes he’d not expected to find watching him, Louis drew back as he made to curl back inside himself in the embarrassment of exposing his weakness to someone he’d never wanted to be anything less that perfect for, Harry never allowing it as he followed Louis in movement like the attraction of a magnet as Harry brought their lips softly together, Louis’ chest warming and stitching together in a fit as his fingers tangled to the sheets lay between them.

 _This_ kiss a mere flutter of a _butterfly’s_ wings lifting from the dirt.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	14. B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Magic is believing in yourself because if you can do that, you can make anything happen! And sometimes, love can be magic, but you must stay guarded; sometimes magic is merely an illusion.”

  
  


[Bad Notes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Unu4Yx6GIw)

  
  


Louis wasn’t sure how he’d done it, but he’d slept that night. It probably had everything to do with the body stretched out next to him with an arm thrown over the fluttering and heavy eyes, the stomach rising high from beneath the duvet as the body was planted firmly on its back with legs spread and the other arm curled around Louis’ back. Not daring to move in fear of disturbing him, Louis lay his cheek back to his pillow as he simply observed Harry’s sleeping form, those gorgeous, full lips parted and moving slowly with sleep as Harry inhaled lowly to exhale with a tiny groan and a twitch of his eyebrows as he explored a faraway thought within his dreams.

Louis’ lips raised quietly in adoration as he thought of Harry scooting toward him and pushing their lips tighter together, Louis’ fingers tightening again to the sheets in memory as he slowly moved his leg to press to Harry’s as Harry let out a loud breath in satisfaction before rolling to fully to his side to expose his front to Louis as Louis bit to his bottom lip. Harry was perfect and tousled, the color settled within his cheeks reading him the perfect image of innocence as Louis sighed to the disbelief that Harry had been with another boy, and yet had chosen to come sleep that night with _him_.

Reaching a finger out gently before him, Louis allowed his touch trace to Harry’s bottom lip as he breathed slowly and quietly, measuring the airflow he allowed to touch Harry’s face, as he feared waking him from the peace that fluttered his eyelashes to his cheeks. Trying his best to not giggle aloud to the jittery and ticklish feeling welling within his stomach and drifting down his legs and arms, Louis carefully flattened his palm to Harry’s cheek as Harry pressed into the touch, his eyes slowly opening to meet with Louis’ as Louis could no longer suppress the smile that lit the entire room.

Harry was so perfect in that moment, his eyes wide and yet heavy with sleep as he blinked to the light and dazzle reading to the hints of turquoise and hunter swirling to the black of the iris as his tiny, white teeth shone in response to Louis’.

“Don’t stop.” Harry whispered as Louis slowly traced a hand through Harry’s curls, marveling at the feeling of silk slipping through his fingers before he was frozen in place to Harry’s arms wrapping tightly around his middle as Harry’s face nosed to the middle of Louis’ bare chest.

Appreciative of the warmth and the soft flutter of Harry’s lips rubbing to his skin, Louis buried his face to the mess of curls quickly as he inhaled Harry in through every pore of his body. Harry was nearly like a drug that Louis craved and would never tire of, even the sun deciding to grace them in that morning if only for a little while, as a slant of warmth spilled across the tossed and messy duvet.

“I’m sorry I got angry.” Louis coughed as Harry shook his head to Louis’ chest, the curls tickling to Louis’ nose as he laughed and pulled gently away, looking down to Harry as Harry lay to his back with his head tilted back with a growing smile to his lips.

“It was my fault- I should’ve been there to see you home.” Louis rolled his eyes as he snatched up the duvet and covered Harry’s face, Harry kicking around wildly as he giggled wildly before pouncing on top of Louis who flattened to Harry’s knees curling and pressing to either of his sides. “You’re my best mate, and I don’t want you to ever be upset with me.”

Mulling over the words, Louis nodded quietly as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of Harry flattening to his chest, Harry’s fingers tracing gently over his upper arms as Harry sought to memorize every part of Louis he possibly could.

“Why did you plant my tree?” Louis questioned suddenly as Harry sat erect to hold Louis’ open palm before his face as he slowly traced the lines lay there with his eyes in wonder.

“Isn’t that why you brought it?”

“I still dunno why we were given a tree in the first place, so yeah I suppose.” Harry rolled his eyes as he chuckled and flopped beside Louis, Louis striking quickly as he dug his fingers to Harry’s sides and ducked away from the dangerously kicking feet.

“Louis, don’t or I’ll never speak to you!”

“You have to say please!” Louis snarked in amusement as he rolled to top of Harry’s pitching body, Harry giving a wheeze and a sigh of annoyance as he gave a shove to Louis’ head only to rip his hand away to Louis’ tongue licking across his skin.

“Please!”

“What?”

“Please, Louis!” Harry begged with a tiny moan as Louis’ eyes widened and he instantly jumped away, his face pulled in peculiarity as Harry lay panting on his back.

“Ehm, isn’t your mum going to be worried? That you’re not in bed when she wakes up?” Louis fidgeted awkwardly as Harry smiled deviously to exactly what he’d _planned_ to do, crossing his arms behind his head.

“I left her a note.”

“A note.” Louis deadpanned as Harry looked to him from the corner of his eye, nodding proudly as he stretched his legs above the duvet to wiggle his toes freely.

“If she gets worried, I’m sure she’ll have no problem coming over.”

Louis shuddered slightly as he opened his mouth to further interrogate Harry while fighting to ignore the burning in the base of his stomach, before both boys freezing to _two_ female laughs floating beneath Louis’ still closed and locked bedroom door from what seemed to be the kitchen. Louis frowned as he fixed Harry to a look as Harry simply shrugged and gave a sly smile.

“See? Fearless-”

“Alright.” Louis snapped as he made to shove Harry from the bed, Harry rolling lazily to his stomach as Louis fell heavily on top of him.

“Just tell her to come back later when I’m not so tired.”

“Harry, you have to get up! She’s _your_ mum!” Louis sighed as he sat to Harry’s back and gave a slight shove to his shoulders before nearly tumbling from the side of the bed to his dresser in search of track pants and a jumper.

“It’s too early, Louis!” Harry protested as he yanked the duvet up over his head and buried to the pillow, Louis shaking his head with a tiny smile as he snickered to how _bad_ it all felt, the previous night’s sadness and worry all fled beneath his bed and forgotten.

“So, I’ll go say I’ve never met you.” Louis smarted as Harry snorted loudly before he poked his head from the side of the duvet, hanging upside down from Louis’ bed as his hair swept the floor.

“She’ll not believe you! You look as if you’d be my best mate, and it’s a giveaway.” Louis again bristled to the definition of what he was to Harry as he sighed to his stupidity and smoothed the jumper to the tiny roll around his middle, frowning as he poked it gently before meeting Harry’s amused expression. “D’you _not_ like it-”

“Don’t talk about it!” Louis warned as he fumbled to the doorknob as his fingers carefully undid the lock, the cool air of the hallway bursting to the warm and sticky air of the bedroom as Harry sighed and slipped to the floor.

“I think it’s cute.” Louis rolled his eyes as he slowly crept to the hallway and made it nearly to the middle of the hallway before he was slipping to the slick wood and another chorus of loud laughter rising from the kitchen.

“Harry!” Louis hissed as he pedaled back to his room, Harry standing completely naked with his back to Louis as he dug through Louis’ dresser drawers in search of track pants that would be long enough. “Why is your mum still here? What’s going on?”

Harry shrugged nonchalantly as he finally found a pair that he fought his feet to, Louis blushing and averting his eyes as Harry’s naked bum slipped to the pants before Harry was shrugging into one of Louis’ zip-ups bare chested.

“Well, you had the door locked and I left a note.” Louis’ face fell annoyed as Harry turned with a coy smile, giving another shrug as he skipped to Louis’ front and messed his hands crazily to Louis’ limp fringe. “I have to wee, Louis! Please don’t make me climb out the window.”

“Come on, then.” Louis snapped lightly as he gathered Harry’s hand tightly within his own to nearly drag him down the hall before shoving him to the bathroom, Harry’s loud giggle falling down the hallway as Louis quickly shut the door to Harry’s face before he was sliding back down the hallway to peek silently around the corner to the women sat at the table, gossiping over a cup of tea.

“-Absolutely ridiculous!” Jay laughed as Anne nodded quickly and raised a hand to her mouth to keep the tea from spraying from her lips. “Is Harry just as clingy as Louis? It’s like he’s only ever talking about Harry, and when he’s not talking, he’s thinking about him!”

“I’m sure Harry’s worse, my God!” Anne mused as her eyes stared off with a gentle smile pulling to her lips. “Harry’s constantly talking of the adventures they’ll have and how they’re going to live together when they’re grown up to be the best mates-”

“Does Harry often mention a monster?” Anne grew still in her seat as Louis perked a bit, watching Anne grow fidgety in her seat as Jay’s eyebrows climbed a bit higher on her forehead.

“Harry’s been on about this monster for some time, but I didn’t know it was coming over to Louis’ imagination until that night I came to pick Harry up-”

“It’s ridiculous of course! I’m just wondering where Louis has picked this _thing_ up from, and as long as he’s not just _come up_ with it!” Anne shook her head quickly as she took a quick gulp of her tea before sighing gently.

“Harry’s got a large imagination and it often gets away from him. I’ve had a talk with him about not sharing it with any of his little mates that come around because he’s very convincing in the stories he shares and he promised he wouldn’t continue with it.” Jay looked Anne over carefully as Anne smiled in apology. “I’m truly sorry if something has happened because of it-”

“Well, there was a time not long ago where Louis was hiding beneath his bed, scared shitless that there was a monster in his room that had come to get him. And when I managed to coax him out, he had these huge scratches round his ankles.” Jay shook her head as Anne began nibbling to her thumbnail. “I can’t think of anything other than he was running round the woods and got caught by some brambles, but they were deep and jagged.”

“I don’t think Harry would hurt Louis.” Anne cut in as Anne looked to Jay with her lips parted, her hand rising slowly as Anne shook her head and smiled before continuing on. “I think they love each other deeply, and while I think they believe they see something out to crawl through the dark, they’re simply children lending to the other’s imagination.”

“So, I’m not being a terrible mum!” Jay praised as she and Anne laughed lightly before sipping again to their tea, Louis’ fingers gripping tightly around the doorframe, as his face grew warm in anger to their utter stupidity of the entire situation; they were _wrong_!

“I just wanted to know though, what do you think it means that my son is sneaking over in the middle of the night now to sleep in your son’s bed? I did everything I possibly could to keep Harry from wandering out, but he’s so clever.” Jay allowed her lips lift in silent thought as she cocked her head slightly.

“Well, I mean it’s obvious they’re mad about the other and I think have been since the moment they started playing, or whatever it is that they do-” Jay chewed to her bottom lip for a second as Louis strained forward slightly to catch better sound of the next words that came from her mouth as the distraction of the toilet flushing almost stole him away. “I feel that they’re too young to understand what it is to be gay because they’re only little boys. Yet on the other hand, Louis’ not this way with any of his other friends, and it seems almost as if he’s fallen in _love_ with Harry to a point he’s willing to sacrifice his other friendships in order to maintain that Harry is top priority.”

Louis’ eyes widened as his heart began to slam to his chest, the realization of exactly why he was so angry the other day to seeing Harry with Nick, and why Louis grew weak behind the knees every time those dimples dented to Harry’s cheeks finally made sense. Louis didn’t want to be Harrys “best mate” because Louis wanted to mean as much to Harry as Harry meant to him! Leaning to the doorjamb with his hand raised to the base of his throat in effort of shoving his heart back to the place it should’ve been, Louis frowned at the realization that though he’d always thought he’d have to be older to experience what it was to enjoy the finer and more complicated things in life, yet here he was already going through them!

Unbeknownst, Jay and Anne had never found a love like his and Harry’s, both women bitter and dark to their divorces and yet somewhat happy to the new lives they’d started with new men, but it would never be their first. Looking quickly to Harry’s feet in the hallway, Louis blinked slowly to Harry’s easy expression as the curls stood tall from the crown of Harry’s head in a messy tuft as Louis felt his stomach pitch. Harry was his first love, and that’s why Louis was so ridiculously protective and insane and driven and clouded when it came to anything that had to do with Harry. Harry was his beginning; his _genesis_.

“-I suppose there’d stand to be a difference of loving and being in love and it’s quite obvious, yeah?” Jay and Anne murmured a low thought of agreement as Anne sighed and laughed lightly. “It’s just so odd that Harry just stumbled upon Louis! He doesn’t have many friends he can play with and then one day, there was Louis!”

“That child of mine has a knack for being in places he shouldn’t, so call it fate or a troublemaker nosing where he’s not supposed to, take your pick.” Looking to Harry’s eyes longly as Harry stood before him, Louis’ eyes fluttered to the warm breath fanning to his lips as he waited for the contact that never came, his fingers reaching out to grab for Harry’s zip-up when he discovered he was sauntering _into_ the kitchen!

“Harry!” Louis hissed as Harry placed his hands on his hips and cleared his throat, Jay and Anne looking to him quickly as Anne’s face pulled to an odd expression that made Louis shift uncomfortably as he slowly stepped to sight as well.

“Mum, I’m glad you found my note!”

“I’m glad you left me a bloody note.” Anne snapped as she grabbed Harry to her chest for a tight hug as she patted his bum, Jay motioning for Louis take seat at the table as she carefully stood and picked her way through the cupboard for Louis’ cereal. “At least I knew where to look this time without phoning the police!”

“You worry too much.” Harry snapped as he crawled to the chair next to Louis, bumping their elbows together as Louis smiled through his fists rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“When I come in to check on you and you’re not in your bed in the middle of the night, I believe I’d have cause to worry!” Anne preached incredulously as she stared Harry down, Harry crossing his hands simply on the table as he widened his eyes. “Do I even bother asking why you don’t like to sleep in your own house anymore?”

“Because I sleep there loads of times!” Harry defended as Jay plunked a bowl in front of both boys and poured a bit of milk and cereal as Harry and Louis looked to each other before shoveling the flakes to their teeth and showing the other the mashed food.

“You can’t just invite yourself over, _Harold_.” Louis nearly spat up his food as milk threatened to pour from his nose as he looked to Harry wide eyed through a fit of laughter and Anne’s look of disgust to the chewed cereal falling from Louis’ flapping lips.

“Harold!” Louis crowed as Anne and Jay quietly chuckled, Jay sitting back to her seat before reaching over to swipe a dribble of milk from Louis’ chin as Harry ducked his head in embarrassment.

“ _Mum_!”

“It’s the name you were given, don’t be embarrassed!” Anne rolled her eyes as Harry shook the curls from his face, looking to Louis from the corner of his eye as he pouted his bottom lip and fixed Louis to an accusing look.

“Don’t laugh at me, Louis!”

“You could always call him by _his_ name he had as a baby-”

“Mum!” Louis shouted in warning as he widened his eyes and fixed Jay to a nasty look, Harry immediately sitting forward as he quietly begged Jay to tell him. “Don’t ever tell anyone that!”

“Be quiet, Louis!” Harry shouted to Louis’ protests as he gathered Louis round the neck and shoved him down within his seat, Louis’ shouts echoing from beneath the table as Jay grew tickled to the sight.

“Mum, if you tell I’ll never come home-”

“Louis, it wasn’t that bad! You were an adorable baby and the name fit!”

“I want to know!” Harry demanded as he nearly crawled over Louis’ back toward Jay’s crossed legs as she smiled evilly and motioned him forward, Louis quickly gripping Harry round the middle as both boys tumbled to the floor.

“Harry, be careful!” Anne worried as Jay laughed to the sight and picked Harry from the floor gently by his arm, only Anne seeming to notice to the flinch of the contact before Harry’s ear was pressed tightly to Jay’s lips as she spoke only two words.

“Mum, don’t!” Louis snapped as he stood and righted his jumper, looking to Jay through slit eyes as Harry slowly leaned back from Jay’s raised lips, his expression turned to Louis reading of mischief and a secret that Louis hadn’t allowed _anyone_ else to know. “Harry-”

“Oh, Louis.” Harry teased as his face broke, a loud and boisterous laugh falling from his chest as Jay sipped quietly to her tea with a gentle snort, her wrist moving against her thigh as she slipped back the sleeve of her scrub shirt to admire the face of her watch.

“Louis, pay attention-”

“I can’t believe you told!” Louis roared as Harry began giving him kissy faces, Louis’ hands snatching out to him as Harry took off across the kitchen with a glint in his eye, Jay managing to snag Louis by the back of the jumper as she pulled his back to the front of her chest as she smoothed the fringe back from his face.

“Just hush up, you! I’m on call tonight and Mark is with Lottie in the city on an appointment so Lou and that Tom kid are going to come over and sit with you.” Louis rolled his eyes as if this were anything new as he fought away from Jay’s fingers trying to wipe away the dried drool leading from the corner of his mouth to get to Harry. “You listening? I can bring home dinner, I shouldn’t be out late-”

“Alright.” Louis growled as he managed from Jay’s grip, looking toward Harry as Harry sashayed back to his seat at the table before tossing a smirk to Louis’ discomfort.

“This time, I’d appreciate you _not_ tear the place apart.” Jay raised an eyebrow as Harry snorted to the back of his hand, allowing his teeth bite gently to the skin as he looked to Louis before Louis too was chuckling lightly in memory.

“You ready to go, then?” Anne questioned Harry quietly as she laid a hand to his arm, both Louis and Harry fixing Anne to an incredulous look as Jay assessed the immediate shift and darkening of Louis’ face.

“Why can’t I just stay here?” Harry demanded as Anne immediately shook her head.

“Harry, don’t you think you’ve made a bother of yourself enough for one day? You can’t just-”

“He can stay with me!” Louis interrupted as he clutched to Harry’s arm, Harry nodding feverishly in agreement as he floated to Louis’ touch. Anne’s eyes squinted slightly in doubt as she slowly shook her head and looked to her fingers splayed to the table before her round the cup of now cold dregs of tea.

“Don’t you think-”

“No.” Harry defended as Louis nodded his head in agreement before Harry looked to him with a frown, Louis taking a second to think it over before switching his mind and shaking his head back and forth.

“Harry, I’m not going to fight with you over this! I allowed you stay the night and I don’t think it makes us look like nice people to allow you to impose any longer!” Anne snipped as Louis looked to Jay expectantly, Jay seeming to jump to his wide, upset blue eyes fixing to her own as she shrugged slightly.

“Mum!” Louis hissed in warning as Harry began to grow frustrated, his tiny brows knitted together while his fingers stretched out the table before him, Anne shaking her head all the while, as Jay grew helpless.

“Louis, it’s Anne’s decision don’t be a pest.” Jay hissed as Louis tossed his hands above his head in frustration, Harry noticeably becoming more panicked as Anne stood slowly and pulled her coat from the back of the chair.

“Mum, I’m not leaving!” Harry finalized as he sat back to his chair before crossing his arms tightly across his chest, Anne giving a raise of her eyebrows as Louis gave a long sniffle to think of Harry being tucked away in the house all day, surely not able to play with Louis after his sneaking out the night before.

“Harry, don’t make a show-”

“You know, Anne? If it’s not too much-” Jay cut short as all eyes turned to her, a light sweat forming to the back of her neck as she quickly cleared her throat and sat a bit straighter, remembering it was _her_ house after all! “I have a couple of sitters coming over to watch Louis and I know they’ve already met Harry. It’s really not a concern of mine if Harry were to spend the day with Louis as long as they were to stay in the house and not tear up my kitchen again.”

Jay raised an eyebrow quickly as Louis nearly flew from his seat in happiness, Harry’s cheeks crinkling happily as he leapt to Jay’s chest and hugged her tightly about the neck, Louis giggling wildly as he hugged Harry tightly around the middle from behind.

“Thank you-”

“We won’t mess the kitchen, we promise!” Louis shouted in muffled excitement as Jay patted them both awkwardly to the back before peeking to Anne.

“You have _my_ permission, but there’s another mum in the house remind you!” Harry and Louis seemed to halt in nervousness before turning to Anne as she stood with a hand to her hip, Louis and Harry looking to the other quickly before pulling their bottom lips to a pout and lacing their fingers together in a begging formation.

“Mum, you _have_ to let me stay!”

“We’ll be really good, Mrs. Styles!” Louis promised pitifully as Anne looked between them both, her bottom lip brought between her teeth as she smiled slightly with a defeated sigh.

“If I receive another call that you’ve messed up this house-”

“You won’t!” Harry shouted as he launched himself to Anne’s front, Anne squatting slowly as she gathered her son to her chest and breathed in gently to the smell that lingered sweetly to his hair and neck. Though it was against her better judgment, Anne knew Harry wasn’t the type of boy to have tons of friends, and Louis was obviously something special.

“Thank you, thank you!” Louis praised as he again hugged tightly to Harry’s back as his fingers locked to the shoulders of Anne’s coat, Anne patting him gently to the bum as she smiled to the brilliant blue of Louis’ eyes that seemed to gleam in a furthering happiness that was to overflow at any moment.

“I just want the both of you to behave, yeah? No funny business, no running round outside! Just stay in, watch some films and if you _must_ cook have the sitters do it!” Harry pulled back from Anne’s neck as he and Louis began giggling and shoving to the other, Anne and Jay’s eyes meeting as they both rolled their eyes to the giddiness they’d expect if they’d had daughters. “I can come round in a few hours-”

“Whenever you’re comfortable, I’d think. I’ll not be working late, and Lou or Tom will be the one to answer the door.”

Anne nodded as Louis and Harry locked hands and fled toward the front room where they happily piled to the couch and began tossing around a blanket before Louis was wrapping Harry within the soft fibers as a cocoon. Following, Jay and Anne chatted lightly near the front door until a soft knock came following the rumble of a street bike parking on the curb, Jay allowing both teenagers in as Lou landed an elbow to Tom’s side for him to straighten up and smile.

“Mrs. Tomlinson!” Lou’s smile grew more forced as she looked to Anne with a hint of panic. “Mrs. Styles!”

“Hello Lou, two boys alright?”

“Finally!” Tom announced as he slipped past the women to present himself in the front room as he tossed himself sloppily amongst the two boys waddling round and wiggled to the blanket as they shouted in protest to his weight.

“Well, I guess it’d be counted as babysitting four.” Lou sighed as she moved a strand of hair back from her face as the two mums before her smiled sweetly before watching her expectantly. “I just mean- we won’t let them near the kitchen or the appliances! And Harry is completely safe here-”

“Just make sure to keep them in.” Jay advised as Lou nodded quickly. “And Mark has taken Lottie to town with him, so he’ll probably arrive home first.”

“I’ll be round in a few to pick up Harry, seeing he’s been _here_ all night.” Anne chimed in, Lou giving a slight smirk and nod of understanding as Jay again checked her watch before shrugging to her coat.

“Call if you have any problems, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Lou shooed as she stepped from the way to let Jay pass, Anne quickly ducking to the front room as she moved to stand over Harry as she moved his head back to where he was looking fully up to her face as Louis peeked around Tom’s relaxed form flung between them.

“I expect perfect behavior, because we’re to talk about all of this later. Understood?” Harry nodded slowly with a measured expression as Louis’ fingers gripped to Tom’s arm, Tom watching them as well from the corner of his eye as Harry sunk from Anne’s grip to fix his lips to a tight line. “You have a nice time, Louis! Keep this one out of trouble!”

Louis nodded as his eyes met to Anne’s, a slight tremor stopping and choking his voice halfway up his throat as Louis recoiled to the hint of red flashing to the inky irises of Anne’s eyes as he envisioned the guttural growl vibrating from within her chest, her hand landing solidly to top of Harry’s head as Harry shrank a bit smaller.

“They’re in good hands.” Tom offered as Anne gave a wary tilt of the head before straightening her coat, Lou still holding the door open for her to pass as Louis still stay frozen to the other end of the couch.

  
  


“’M starving!” Tom growled as Lou kicked him softly to the back of the head, Tom catching her foot quickly as he gave a tug and nearly pulled her from the couch altogether, Lou’s hand smacking to the spot she’d previously kicked as Louis sighed in agitation.

“This film is so boring! And Tom’s feet smell horrid!” Louis complained as Harry’s head lolled to his stomach on the floor before the television, Tom making to shove his feet again to Louis’ face as Louis smacked him away, Harry turning a bit to his side as he pushed his face to the slight squish around Louis’ middle.

“Why doesn’t everyone just start complaining then!” Lou dug as she quickly flipped the channel from the sappy movie she’d been crying over, Tom heaving a sigh of relief as he stood to stretch in blocking Lou’s vision.

“I suppose if you’ll not be catering, I’ll have to make the food!”

“It’s not as if you don’t know how to work an oven, you lazy prick!” Lou snapped as Tom tossed a snarky expression her way.

“Dunno, might make a mess.”

“I’ll kill you.” Lou growled as Tom again shrugged and fled the room to Lou’s chucking of a pillow for his head, Louis ignoring them both as he watched Harry’s chin loll lazily to his stomach. They’d not done much but nap since their mums had left, but in spending this time so close and so unguarded, Louis didn’t mind a bit.

“I’m glad you could stay.” Louis breathed as Harry smiled before bringing their eyes softly together, his fingers poking lightly to Louis’ tummy as he shrugged.

“It’s the first time I’ve been away from home for so long.”

“You’ve never been to a sleepover before?” Louis questioned incredulously as Harry’s eyes widened in wonder.

“A what?” Louis let his head fall back to the pillow he was rested on as he snickered in amusement, Harry truly a baby without experience of the world.

“It’s where you get together with a bunch of your mates and stay up all night playing games and watching films and eating everything in the cupboard!” Harry’s eyes flittered in thought of something so fun possibly existing as he watched the ripple of Louis’ tummy beneath the fabric of his jumper.

“D’you think I’ll ever be invited to a sleepover?”

“Of course!” Louis rushed as he smiled to Harry in his motion of propping up to his ankles, Harry smiling further in encouragement as Louis’ stomach fluttered. “I have sleepovers with the other boys all the time! The next time we have one, we’ll just ask your mum if you can come along too!” Harry snorted, as Louis quickly grew annoyed to Harry’s now game of moving and poking to the roll.

“You think she’d say yes?”

“Well, I mean-” Louis cut short as he shoved to Harry’s head, sitting fully up as Harry laughed devilishly to Louis’ protest of the hard pinch delivered as Louis rolled Harry as far away from him with his feet as his short legs would allow.

“Louis!”

“Stop bringing attention to it!” Louis whined as Harry jumped to his feet and tackled Louis to his back, Lou rolling her eyes to their antics as she quietly observed the change of Louis’ character that she herself hadn’t seen in a long, _long_ time.

“But, it’s cute!”

“You’re both being overly adorable and I can’t stand it! Watch the film!” Lou barked as she immediately flipped back to the soppy mess of a film that was queuing into a dramatic scene filled with rain and passionate kisses and flailing arms as Tom gave a loud snort from the kitchen.

“Way to ease into it, babe! Nice and subtle!”

“Sod off.” Lou snapped more to herself as she turned the volume of the television up higher, Louis looking toward the hallway as he motioned slightly with his head to Harry’s attention.

“Go, before she starts crying again-”

“Don’t go tearing up the house!” Lou snapped quickly as Louis and Harry smiled innocently before shooting from the floor and tearing down the hallway past Tom as he looked after them from the kitchen doorway with half of a sandwich hanging from his lips.

“What are we going to do?” Harry breathed in excitement as he leapt to Louis’ bed, Louis shutting the door quickly behind them as he bounced in excitement, his arms flailing to either of his sides as Harry quirked an eyebrow in wonder. “What-”

“I’m just excited!” Louis praised loudly as he rushed the bed to pounce on top of Harry, Harry giggling wildly and wrapping Louis within his arms and legs as the boys rolled about the duvet and sheets before Harry grew still and sat.

“What?” Louis questioned quickly as he sat to Harry’s side, Harry smiling sweetly to the mussed state of Louis’ hair before holding up a finger expertly.

“I have an idea to what we could do, but Lou-”

“Who cares!” Louis tossed off, as Harry’s face grew devious.

“Well, I’ve always wanted to mix a proper potion, but I never had a partner.” Louis’ forehead crinkled to Harry’s completely serious look as he frowned deeper, his mouth widening to speak before he turned his head to the heavy, wooden clang of the large, _rounded_ door that flourished to the melting away of his bedroom.

Standing quickly, Louis’ skin thrilled to the worn, old wood beneath his feet as he gazed to the torches blazing to the walls and the mounds of books falling around the corners of the room, Harry still sat quietly to the bed as he watched Louis in awe of how he was still so capable of being breathtaking without even trying or noticing he was doing it.

“Where are we?” Louis questioned lowly as he crossed the room to touch the iron bracket that the fire was crackling within, his head swiveled to his shoulder to watch as Harry rose from the duvet in pressed trouser pants and a proper button down and tie.

“Hogwarts!”

“As in Harry Potter?” Louis breathed in disbelief as Harry shrugged as if the fact was no big deal.

“I watched the movie a couple days ago with Gemma, but she’s too much of a _nit_ to play round properly.”

“Will we get wands?” Louis laughed as Harry shrugged and quirked an eyebrow, his fingers lacing tightly within Louis’ as he flicked to the tie that hung pressed and pristine to Louis’ chest.

“Dunno if we’d need wands in making a potion.”

“It’d be cool though, right? We could turn Lou into a frog or something!” Louis marveled to the idea of Jay returning home to find two, fat frogs hopping round the living room as Harry and Louis reclined simply to the sofa in comfort and without worry.

“And Tom into a bat!”

“Or a woman with his long hair!” Louis snickered as Harry laid his head back to his neck and released a loud laugh to the chamber around them, his free hand searching for the intricate knob of the door before it was pulled away and Louis was staring into the long, stone corridor that was both frightful and captivating. “You’re incredible in doing this!”

“Gemma says it’s because I have too much time.”

“Gemma’s a girl.” Louis pointed out as Harry rolled his eyes and nodded fully in agreement, gently tugging Louis down the cobbled hallway as Louis gazed in spectacle to the large portraits and tapestries lining the walls.

“You’re lucky Lottie can’t be bratty yet.”

“She is, she’s just not that talkative about it rather than choosing to scream to the top of her lungs!” Louis nearly shouted in disbelief as Harry tugged him suddenly to an opened doorway before shutting the door quickly behind them without thought of doing up the lock.

“Alright, I was thinking we’d make a potion that would do something like, turning our sisters into hens.”

“Or, a potion to get rid of girls all together!” Louis pointed out as Harry’s eyes widened.

“Wicked-”

“Mums included!” Louis pushed as Harry nodded and held his hands before him, Louis watching in disbelief as a large, kettle cauldron formed within his hold.

“Mums are girls too, yeah?”

“If I were to wish for a sweet, would it work?” Louis questioned off topic as he held his hand before him slowly, his eyes trained carefully to his palm as Harry carefully lit a burner before dumping the cauldron and a thick vat of a green slime to the bottom.

“Depends on what kind of sweet you want!”

“Any.” Louis screwed his face in concentration as Harry looked up from the worms he was plopping to the brewing mixture, his fingers pinching to a dusting of crystal before he was moved away by the great puff of smoke issuing from within.

“Just concentrate, and it should work!”

After a few minutes of vigorous concentration and one tiny explosion from the cauldron later, Louis dropped his hand to smack against his thigh as he stood in dejection to Harry’s side as he peeked into the rumbling within the cauldron.

“I just can’t do what you and Niall do, I guess-”

“Niall did something?” Harry questioned quickly as Louis nodded in embarrassment.

“He managed to nearly kill us all in a mud pit!” Harry’s lips parted again in another heartfelt laugh as both boys looked to the sudden knocking on the door, Harry quickly dumping in what looked to be dried bat’s wings before producing a long, stirring stick that he stuck to the middle of the mixture and pulled in either direction.

“We’ve got to hurry, I think one of the professors are on to us!”

“Professors-” Louis cut short as he thought of the movies he’d seen, his stomach crawling to the thought of the adults traipsing about in long cloaks and stern faces truly shaking him a little through as he wrapped his hands to top of Harry’s and helped him pull and mix the thinning liquid.

“Shall I taste it or you?” Harry breathed to Louis’ shoulder as Louis immediately frowned, bending over to fix his eyes to the gurgling, orange mixture as he shook his head to Harry’s look of curiosity.

“I don’t think it’s smart to actually _eat_ it! I mean, what if one of us turns to a girl?”

“The worst _you’d_ turn into would be another throw pillow.” Harry teased as he knocked his shoulder to Louis’, Louis immediately sticking his tongue out to ward Harry away as he sighed and dipped a finger in, bracing for the heat that never came.

Looking to Harry in doubt, Louis rolled his eyes to Harry’s excited expression as he began bouncing to the balls of his feet and his grip tightened noticeably to Louis’ upper arm, Louis drawing his hand back as he cringed to the goo trailing thickly from his fingers.

“Harry, I dunno-”

“Go on, Louis! Don’t be a mum!” Harry encouraged as he bit to his bottom lip, Louis shooting him a final, deathly glare before uttering a quiet prayer that he wasn’t about to die as another knock came to the heavily shut door.

“Lads?”

Rolling his tongue over his fingers, Louis’ forehead furrowed as his eyebrows crawled together, his eyes quickly squinting as he ripped his hand away and began to cough in vain effort of clearing the horrid taste away.

“Yuck, Harry it’s foul!”

“Is it? I was trying to mix a sweet for you.” Harry contemplated, as he looked deep to the mixture that was slowly issuing a metallic and _translucent_ color, Louis laying a hand to Harry’s side as he parted his lips in thanks before he gave a huge, loud hiccup that resulted in a large, pulsing _soap_ bubble to move to the space before his crossed eyes.

Harry stood back from the cauldron as he gave a sigh of defiance, Louis smacking to his arm quickly as Harry spun to apologize before he was gazing in wonder to the bubble that seemed to just hang in midair, the quiet of the room swelling before their ears until Louis thought he noticed the faint sound of running water. Frowning to one another, Harry and Louis both looked to the door again as a knock erupted a bit louder this time than the last before they were seemingly melting through the floor of the dimly lit room of the castle of a fantasy cradled within the pages of a book before Louis was slipping to his ass on the slicked tile of the bathroom floor, Harry crashing to his chest.

Releasing a breath to Harry’s impact, Louis looked quickly to the bathroom around them as Harry released a loud whoop and clambered to his feet in effort of throwing around the mounds of bubbles that had grown and flowed to the side of the tub to the floor from the still running bath; what the hell had they done? Carefully making to his feet, Louis peeked to the side of the tub as his eyes widened, Jay’s many bottles of bubble bath splashed and mixed to the drain as the water pounded and mixed out a cartel of never-ending bubbles that swirled and flew around the room in a frenzy.

“This was-”

“Uh huh.” Harry answered as he scooped out a handful of bubbles to blow them against the opposite wall, Louis quickly grasping to his hair as his eyes widened in horror.

“Harry, we’re-”

“Yeah, probably.” Harry replied simply as he dug out another lot of bubbles only to smash them round his chin and ears before turning to Louis with a goofy grin. “D’you want one?”

“Harry, we’re in so much trouble!” Louis whimpered as he gazed to the bathroom that was truly _filled_ with bubbles, the bath water still beating loudly to the drain as another frustrated knock rose from the other side of the door.

“Are you taking a bath _together_? Is it even safe to check?”

“Stop worrying.” Harry comforted as he turned Louis’ face carefully to his own, Louis’ panic seeming to freeze to his chest as Harry slowly brought their noses together with the transfer of a wad of bubbles from his own to Louis’, Louis giving a tiny frown of doubt before Harry was bent over the side of the tub with a retrieved handful of bubbles. “Just let me give you a beard-”

“No!” Louis laughed as he held Harry away, Harry beginning to fight toward Louis’ face a bit harder as Louis managed to slip away to the other side of the bathroom with Harry close on his tail, sliding and laughing the entire way.

It wasn’t much, and they were absolutely going to be in massive trouble, but in sliding to the other’s chest and smashing bubbles round their chins and atop their heads as crowns, Louis and Harry didn’t mind. It was the first time they’d been allowed to properly spend time with the other without the thought, mention or sighting of a monster, and neither even cared to look up from their giggling fit on the floor, nearly blanketed in a soapy white as Tom cracked the door open only to quickly shut it in turning to Lou with a wide smirk plastered to his lips.

“What? What is it? Are they being-”

“No, God!” Tom scoffed as Lou’s face fell in relief, Tom again smirking as Lou drew her guard. “Doesn’t mean you’ll like what you find.”

“Then move!” Lou ordered as she shoved Tom from the way and tossed open the bathroom door, her jaw nearly dropping to the floor at the sight she was met with.

Harry and Louis still hadn’t bothered to pick themselves up from the floor as they lay amid the mess, the water of the tub still running and producing more bubbles as Lou looked to the streaked mirror and the soap smeared to the walls and blanketing nearly _everything_.

“Oh. My. God!” Lou screeched as Harry and Louis quickly sat upright, Tom choosing to remain back to the doorway as he folded his arms gently and smiled to the damage. “What the- oh my - you two? But-! What the hell are you thinking?”

“Just a bit of friendly potion making.” Harry pointed out innocently as Lou trudged across the bathroom to snap the water off, painfully craning her head back in hesitation to look to the settling stains of the rising bubbles that were _still_ popping to the ceiling.

“Was gonna be for you as well.” Louis giggled as Lou looked to them both in disbelief.

“You just want to have me bloody fired again, don’t you? This is going to take forever to clean up- and stop giggling ‘bout it! This is a massive mess you little shits! Worse than the kitchen!” Lou dejectedly clawed her fingers through her hair as Harry looked to Louis slowly, the bubbles still hanging from their chins tangling to the fibers of their heavily drawn jumpers as he gave a slight smile.

“Maybe she needs a beard?”

Snorting loudly and fighting to cover their mouths in their sudden fit of hysteria to the happiness nearly welling over in their chests and floating their brains, Louis and Harry fell back to the mess of melting and popping bubbles as the floor grew further soapy and slimy, Lou tossing her hands above her head in defeat as she removed herself from the bathroom to run for the kitchen and the hallway linen closet in search of mops and towels; lots and _lots_ of towels.

  
  


A couple hours later with both boys scrubbed, a load of towels washed and the bathroom as soap free as it could be after Tom’s frenzied run to the village in replacing Jay’s soap accompanied by a speeding ticket, the foursome was laid to the floor of the front room as they again sighed in unison.

“No more double sitting.” Lou groaned as her hands ached, Tom’s arms still crossed tightly over his chest as he thought of the fees he was to pay on going nearly thirty over the posted limit.

“I thought it was fun.” Harry chirped from Louis’ side as Lou nearly peeled from her skin.

“Well, maybe next time we’ll come mess round in _your_ house then?”

“Harry’s house is bigger.” Louis shot as he cracked open a weary eye to watch Lou calmly. “More cleaning.”

“I’m still hungry.” Tom snapped slightly as he rolled to his stomach, Lou heavily balancing to his side as she buried her nose to the side of his messed and rain slicked hair, still damp from his ride.

“Told you to use the oven.”

“Well, what if the damn thing exploded? Can’t replace the entire back of a house in a few hours.” Lou punched to Tom’s side as Louis rolled to his side directly to Harry’s front, his eyes never opening as Harry’s fingers trailed his arm before tangling their fingers together in warmth and comfort.

“’M sorry for messing up your house again.” Harry whispered as Louis slowly shook his head, peeking an eye open to catch Harry yawn widely before smiling and slipping back to the gentle darkness that promised a full night’s rest of the overwhelming last two days he’d experienced.

“It was all worth it.”

“Well I’m glad someone thought it was!” Lou piped up with another groan as Louis smiled and fought tighter to Harry’s front, a gentle, heavy silence falling to the room as the low murmur of the television eased them all to a soft, light rest before there was a loud, urgent knock to the front door.

Clamping tighter to Harry’s fingers, Louis popped his head up only to frown to the failing of the light from outside the front window in signal that time passed so much quicker when you’re daydreaming, Lou jumping them in a simple leap as she quickly met Anne and allowed her in to the scene of the wiped out boys to the floor.

“Mum, I can’t make it home!” Harry announced as he rolled to his back, his fingers gently slipping from Louis’ as Louis looked in longing to connect them once again.

“Too much fun, I suppose?” Anne laughed as Lou rolled her eyes in a mocking and yet terrified expression to Anne’s probable knowing of what had happened. “You look as if you’re shot, love!”

“Too much fun.” Harry yawned in repeat as Louis slowly sat, Anne gently giving a ruffle to his hair before she was bent and picking Harry from the floor to sling over her shoulder.

“Well, looks like it’s off to bed early for you then-”

“But, Louis!” Harry protested quickly as his eyes shot open painfully, his head craned to his neck as Louis watched Harry in silent sadness from the floor. “Louis should come!”

“Louis looks tired too, and I don’t think Jay would appreciate us just stealing him.” Anne laughed as she turned for the front door, smiling sweetly to Louis’ direction as Louis raised a hand with hook fingers in nearly begging her to leave and not take Harry with her.

“You won’t know if you don’t ask!” Harry demanded as Anne drew to the front door, Lou giving a gentle pat to Harry’s back as he passed, Louis slowly fighting to his feet through the sleep induced haze as he never let up from Anne’s heels until Harry was strapped to the backseat of the car and Louis’ tiny fingers were pressed to the cold glass in parting.

Though it’d been through the anxiety of having to separate from Harry after what seemed decades spent _together_ , Louis had truly followed Harry to the car in making sure that the monster wasn’t there in wait again, Anne smiling sadly as she buckled herself in and hit the power window button to allow a breeze to flow between the two boys as a final goodbye. Stretching to reach his hands within as much of the backseat as he could, Louis smiled sadly to Harry’s fingers tangling into his own as he strained on tiptoe to lock their eyes for what he knew would be the last time of a lengthy time kept away from the other.

“I’ll see you later.” Harry whispered as he squeezed his fingers tighter around Louis’, Louis’ heart sinking to the pit of is stomach as he gave a slight nod and swallowed hard to will away the tears that welled painfully to his tired an sunken eyes. Louis wasn’t ignorant in Harry not saying tomorrow, but _later_.

“Alright.”

“We’ll see you soon, Louis!” Anne called happily from the front seat as Louis was reluctant to release Harry’s hand, his fingers falling slowly away as his touch lingered to the car door up until the moment it was sliding away and growling down the street to the main road that would carry Harry back to his hidden world within the other side of the thicket.

“Louis, come on! It’s cold and your mum will further murder me if she comes home and you’re sick!” Lou called as Louis caught sight of a tiny head of curls popping up in the back window before they were slumped back from sight, Louis’ arms crossing tightly to his middle to bay away the hole that sizzled to life as he first noticed how cold it truly was. “Come on!”

Sighing, Louis watched his feet as he slowly climbed the front walk and the stairs, Lou’s hand slowly ruffling his hair in comfort as she allowed Louis pass back to the front room to sleep to the couch while also wallowing to the self-pity in the loss of his mate. Turning a final time to watch the headlights crawl up the street of Anne’s car, Lou froze to the flash of something disgusting, dark and bent crossing the mouth of the road slowly just beneath the shade of the trees within the dimming of the twilight before it was just _gone_. Frowning and giving a sharp shake of the head, Lou closed and locked the door tightly behind her as she ran a weary hand to her face and checked the time, completely ready to go home with a chuckle of disbelief.

Great, now she was going inconsolably insane as well, seeing _monsters_.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“As one grows older, they find the only things regretted are the things that weren’t done.”

  
  


[The Place Where This Path Leads](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DOL55oVh1M)

  
  


It was expected Louis wasn’t to see Harry, but he didn’t think time could ever move as slowly as it did. The first week in itself seemed as if the Earth had stopped rotating and the sun had moved to the complete opposite side of the world, the cloud cover thick and dark overhead as if to prove that there would be no light in Harry’s absence, though the second week was the worst. Louis was unable to sleep as he tossed, turned and tangled within his sheets every night to the dream of a pair of brilliant green eyes and a hand stretching through the break in a tall hedge within the gardens of an old and wise castle.

Maybe that’s why Louis was so tired, though he didn’t think so. It wasn’t the loss of sleeping that was slowly driving him into madness; it was the lack of caring on what he thought would be immediately taken up by Jay and Mark’s parts as parents, or even Liam as the mum of the group! A tiny pat to the shoulder with a small question of if he was alright, or a soft smile as he passed in the morning with a comforting hug and an assurance that though things were bad right now, they would _always_ get better. It was silly really to expect anything more than the indifference that was shown, because it seemed Louis had become entirely too good at hiding everything he didn’t want the world to see. Louis didn’t want to show he was crumbling and withering away, didn’t want to show the tiny glimpses of pain that he had to Harry’s never being there in the clearing each day as Louis sat by his planted tree and waited in longing.

It seemed Louis was always destined to sit alone in the rain, and it killed him! So maybe that’s why Louis wasn’t surprised to be left standing until dusk in the setting of the sun in the quiet and seemingly lifeless village that night in front of the soccer pitch. Sighing lightly, Louis again reminisced to the last time this had happened before looking to the bus stop and knowing that he wouldn’t be as lucky as to be saved yet again. It was actually understandable that he was to be forgotten, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

Shrugging his athletic bag high to his shoulder, Louis bowed his head as his damp fringe tickled to his cheekbones and settled to his eyes as he chose instead to watch his muddy cleats find their way home. One day when he was grown, Louis would have a street bike as Tom did, and he would never be forgotten! He would simply pick himself up and speed home through the rain to leave everyone behind as he was finally able to take care of himself and no longer depend on the love or the wellbeing of others, even when they took no notice of his.

“That would show them.” Louis muttered quietly as he kicked a cleat to a crack in the sidewalk, coming to the corner slowly as he checked both directions before darting to the opposite side of the street only to start the treacherous uphill climb from the village’s center to the many hidden and darkened roads that led to different little catacombs of homes and streets.

Frowning to the gurgling hunger of his stomach, Louis chose to do nothing more than bite back the fear that rose to his throat at the approaching of the shaded lane, his imagination running wild as he imagined thousands of hungry, glowing eyes watching and licking their lips in anticipation of shredding Louis to pieces. Wringing his hands, Louis looked quickly over his shoulder to the village lights that were slowly dying beneath him as he thought of the London city limits that lay not far beyond the hills past. It was never dark in London Louis had heard, which lent to their never being monsters and never a fear to Louis’ mind.

Turning back to the lane, Louis struck his hands to fists as he bounced in anticipation to the balls of his feet, ducking his head quickly as he grit his teeth only to bound a few feet into the darkness before a sharp, two taps of a horn behind him nearly sent him colliding off the side of the road with his hand clutched tightly over his heart.

“What’re you doing? Get in!” Mark called through the rolled down passenger window as he pulled up parallel to Louis cowering in the road, Louis’ lips releasing a loud and drawn sigh of relief as he practically fell to the car door in praise. “I thought I told you to wait at the pitch?”

“You were late!” Louis snapped as he ripped the door open to toss his bag to the floorboard before crawling to the seat and slamming the door behind himself, his fingers clutched to the paneling just beneath the window as he watched a large, black blob melt to the dark and sinister overgrowth.

“Thought you said 8:30?”

“It’s 7:30 player pick-up.” Louis sighed as he rolled his eyes to Mark’s dumbfounded expression as the car began rolling toward home.

“You stood there for an hour extra?”

“Did I have another choice? I missed the bus.” Louis bit as he frowned to Mark through the dim lighting of the car’s dashboard, Mark biting to his bottom lip heavily as he sighed.

“’M sorry, Louis-”

“This isn’t even the first time!” Louis marveled sarcastically as Mark’s nostrils flared, his foot pushing further to the accelerator as the tires bit and crunched over the gravel and soft sod in the travel of turning to the main road that would lead to their street.

“I can only say I’m sorry. I thought your mum said 8:30-”

“She probably did.” Louis bit sourly as he crossed his arms tightly in front of his chest, Mark’s knee beginning to bounce nervously as the car whipped to their street before rumbling to a stop in the driveway. Bending to look through the warmly lit front window, Louis could see the television playing noiselessly before turning an accusing look to Mark’s direction. “You were busy watching _telly_ -”

“I just got the damn time wrong!” Mark boomed as Louis rolled his eyes and threw the door open, yanking his bag out after himself only to make sure to drag it through the grass and mud before he was jumping the front stairs and throwing the front door open to the opposite wall of the entrance way.

“Don’t slam my front door!” Jay called from the kitchen as Louis’ nose turned up to the repulsive smell that fought to his face as he immediately dropped his bag and stomped through to stand before Jay, muddy cleats and all. “Hello darling-”

“You told Mark the wrong time!” Louis shouted as he quickly moved the fringe back from his face, Jay’s eyes screwing in confusion as she leaned her weight to the opposite hip.

“No I didn’t? Practice is over at 8:30, innit?”

“It’s over at 7:30, Jay! Jesus, he could’ve been kidnapped standing there!” Mark snapped as he too slammed the front door shut behind him as he stood to Louis’ flank. “He stood for an hour before he was gonna walk home!”

“I swear to God, the schedule says 8:30!” Jay shouted as she rounded to the fridge and searched the many drawings and progress reports before snatching away the golden colored paper as she stood and raked the tiny print. Waiting expectantly, Louis’ eyebrows quirked nastily as the color drained from Jay’s face, her eyes wide in looking to Louis with a hand raised before her mouth as she began her apology. “Louis-!”

“Doesn’t matter, not like it’s the first time anyways.” Louis growled as he turned to shove past Mark, Jay smacking the paper down to the countertop dejectedly as the slamming of Louis’ bedroom door seemed to echo and reverberate to the entire house, Lottie toddling in from the front room with a doll clutched tightly to her chest as she raised her nose to the smell of the cooking food.

Within his room, Louis chose to crumple dirtily to his bedroom floor rather than mess his bed as his arms wrapped tightly to his middle in attempt of holding one ribcage from disconnecting from the other. The tears were dried and his lip could no longer quiver, yet Louis knew there was no other way to experience this kind of sadness than looking to the pair of Harry’s abandoned trousers stuffed and lost beneath his bed.

  
  


Resting his cheek heavily to his opened palm, Louis still wasn’t happy. There was a football game nearing that he expected to be left at as well, and then to top it off Louis had been carrying around the hope that Harry would be able to come and watch him play. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but Louis still couldn’t help but be disappointed as he turned his attention back to the rain slicking down the window of the classroom he sat. Mrs. Austin was up front teaching and laughing with the other children, yet Louis was instinctively aware of Zayn watching him closely before looking to Josh across the room as they shrugged in curiosity to Louis’ detached state.

Sighing, Louis didn’t see a point to any of it anymore, frowning to his pencil scratching to the margin of his workbook in defiance of doing anything more than wallowing. Was it fair to ever be this sad and worthless?

“Will you stop moping?” Zayn hissed suddenly as he kicked to Louis’ shin, Louis fixing Zayn to a wild-eyed glare as he ripped his feet from reaching distance.

“I’m not even bothering you!”

“You’re all weird and it’s probably because of something stupid Harry did!” Zayn teased as Louis’ hands dropped and balled to fists against his thighs, his nostrils flaring as a rash of fire licked across his tongue.

“You’re just jealous!” Louis exploded, as the entire class grew silent, Mrs. Austin nearly dropping the marker within her fingers as she cleared her throat and made to step to them in case of needing to break up a fight.

“Boys-”

“You’re so dense!” Zayn snapped as he gathered the items from his desk quickly and packed them alongside his rucksack that hung from his arm, his feet nearly tripping him up in his haste to sit next to Josh at the other side of the room as he spilled his contents to a new desk that was entirely foreign and no where near the comfort it should’ve been.

“Louis, you need to control yourself.” Mrs. Austin spoke gently as she stood to Louis’ shoulder, Louis’ eyes never breaking contact of Zayn’s as he wished to God he would be able to set fire to the back of Zayn’s jacket with his mind. “D’you hear me?”

“I wasn’t doing _anything_.” Louis snapped as he nearly threw her hand from his head, his fingers going about tangling and messing up the quiff that his fringe stood to that day as Louis glued his eyes back to the window.

“Pay attention in the lesson, please.” Mrs. Austin seemed to whisper as she walked calmly to Zayn before bending and speaking lowly to his ear, Zayn’s fingers nearly snapping his pencil in half as he quickly stood and walked for the toilets in need of peeking to Liam’s classroom to call him to a meeting.

Sighing in disgust of all the idiotic people that Louis was surrounded by, he decided he’d rather live in the wild. If he wasn’t to deal with his stupid parents or his stupid friends who didn’t seem to truly care what happened to Louis, then Louis didn’t care what happened to them! He didn’t care that he would live in a tent beneath the open stars before a fire as everyone back home rushed around in a frenzy to finally realize that their invisible boy was gone; because that’s all he was, invisible. Again letting his cheek hit heavily to his palm, Louis focused to the tiny poles of the tent he was doodling within his workbook as he made a tiny stick boy with a large smile to his face build a fire and hang his socks to dry.

It was a sweet thought, to think of freedom from the peril of the storm that was immersing and drowning Louis within his own head. How was he supposed to get away from something that you couldn’t physically remove? It was complicated and dark and Louis growled in frustration to the stars that became too big over his little boy’s head that seemed to overshadow the tent. Cocking a head to the side, Louis wondered what it would be like to live with stars that bright and that big, to wake up every night to not see those swirling constellations over his head that lent to Harry’s doing. _Harry_.

Louis sighed gently to his emptiness again as he looked to the seat before and beside himself as he knew that the children that had moved weren’t going to come back. He’d scared them all off without being fully aware that it’d been his fault in the first place, and it was terrifying. Who was Louis becoming, and why couldn’t he recognize the face that plastered over his own in trying to hold himself together and feign to the world that he was fine? He wasn’t fine! He was the furthest thing from fine, and Louis felt as though hope was lost. Who would believe him or try to help him when he didn’t even know how to help himself?

Rubbing his fingers to his forehead, Louis watched through slit eyes as Zayn calmly sauntered back to the classroom for Louis’ direction, remembering nearly to the last second that he no longer sat close to Louis as he doubled back and sat next to Josh. Wincing to the crack of his ribs and the ripping of his flesh, Louis turned bleary eyes to the window, only wanting to go home and curl up beneath his bed with his imagination and his thoughts in escaping the pain that came from knowing he was no longer loved by those he loved because they _couldn’t_ understand.

Squinting through the rain, Louis only took notice to the huddling figure for a second before he was gazing back to his drawing, slowly doodling another boy along to the first as he connected their hands sweetly, taking a moment to wonder what Harry was doing. It’d been so long, and Louis could only imagine the adventures Harry had been on, the things he’d created and the stories he’d come up with, yet the thought of never getting to experience them along to Harry’s side drove Louis mad. It wasn’t fair, and it never would be! It was simply lost time, and there was no excuse for it! Louis would go to Harry’s house after primary was out and he would bang on the backdoor for as long as it took, and that was final! Gazing back out the window in a fleeting second, Louis’ eyes nearly fell from his head to the desk before him as a tiny hand raised in wave.

Panicking, Louis rose his hand high above his head to a way that hurt his side as he began waving his fingers frantically, Mrs. Austin frowning as she fought to ignore the panic and wide, Cheshire smile splayed to his cheeks. Only giving a few more moments for Mrs. Austin to call to him, Louis watched as Harry carefully threaded across the sopping lawn toward the front doors of the primary, Louis’ feet smacking to the floor as he propelled himself up and for the classroom door.

“Louis! Where on earth do you think you’re going?” Mrs. Austin snapped as she smacked the marker back to its tray beneath the whiteboard as Louis only spared her a narrowing of his eyes.

“To the toilet!”

“Louis-!” Ignoring her protests, Louis was flying down the hallway as he paused only to walk before classroom doors before again tearing to the front doors as Harry reached the protection of the canopy at nearly the same time.

“Harry!” Louis choked quietly as he gave a struggling shove to the heavy door that separated them, Harry’s cheeks denting in happiness to the warmth that engulfed him to Louis’ nearly ripping him inside from the rain.

“I had to come see you!” Harry muttered to Louis’ shoulder as Louis promised he would never again let go, Harry’s fingers digging to Louis’ back as they reveled in the comfort of the other that for so long they’d been deprived of.

“Will you stay?” Louis whimpered as he tangled his fingers to the wet cloth of Harry’s coat, Harry nodding quickly as he buried his nose to Louis’ neck as he breathed in the soft scent of Louis that he’d only had to imagine for the time spent away.

“If you want me to-”

“Of course!” Louis laughed incredulously as he nuzzled to Harry’s dripping hair, Harry’s fingers again tangling to the back of Louis’ jumper as he quietly swore he’d never let go either.

“But where will I stay?” Harry wondered aloud as Louis’ smile froze, his head nearly flying off in his quick look over his shoulder back to the classroom down the hall that he knew Mrs. Austin would come soon in looking to scold Louis to his behavior.

“All I can think are the toilets? Until we go out for recess unless it doesn’t stop raining-”

“The toilets are fine, I need to have a wee anyways!” Harry nodded as he began to bounced nervously to his feet, Louis’ lips escaping a tiny giggled as he clutched to Harry’s hand and began pulling for the toilets that sat empty and quiet, the door moving easily from his way as Louis pulled Harry to the first stall that was nearly hidden.

Turning to again clutch Harry to his chest in relief after the stall door was locked, Louis’ cheeks grew in color as Harry stood to the toilet having a wee; his head leaned back with his lips parted as he sighed in relief.

“I wasn’t sure how decent it would be to wee in your primary’s lawn.” Harry chuckled to Louis’ swiveling away as Louis rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Shows what I think of this place, anyways.” Louis muttered as Harry finished and zipped himself up, the flushing of the toilet hazardously loud as Harry quickly slipped from the stall to wash his hands before locking himself back in with Louis as he nearly tossed himself to Louis’ chest.

“I missed you.” Harry whispered as Louis clung tightly and swore to never, ever let go, and though they were reconnecting in the _toilets_ , it never made the moment any less sweet.

“Please don’t leave again.” Louis begged quietly as he felt the tears well to the bottom lids of his eyes that still ran swollen and puffy from the constant leak of dreariness passed.

“I never _try_ to leave.” Harry frowned as he stood back from Louis to look him fully over, his lips pulling to a sad smile as a finger lightly touched to Louis’ warmed and worn cheeks. “Why do you look so tired?”

“Because I haven’t been able to sleep.” Louis admitted pitifully as he fought from Harry’s hands and clung back to his neck, Harry allowing his lips press gently to Louis’ shoulder as he breathed in every bit of Louis that he could.

“It’s my fault.”

“No-”

“Louis! Come on, you’ve had plenty of time to use the toilet!” Mrs. Austin announced to the other side of the door as she knocked heavily, Louis looking to Harry in a panic as Harry clung tightly. “Don’t hide or I’ll simply retrieve another boy to come in and get you-”

“Alright!” Louis snapped as he turned his nose to Harry’s cheek, Harry’s eyes slowly fluttering closed as he frowned in frustration.

“I wish I could come with you.”

“Just stay hidden.” Louis coaxed gently as Harry nodded, Louis nudging to Harry’s head with his own as he longed their eyes meet. “Promise.”

“Promise.”

“Until I come and get you, but if anyone else tries, run.” Harry nodded quickly as Louis pressed his lips warmly to Harry’s cheek, Harry reluctant to let go as Louis quickly passed through the stall door before it was locked behind him, righting his jumper and tie before pulling the bathroom door from his way to allow his face fall sourly to Mrs. Austin’s lingering form.

“Louis, it’s not proper to just _leave_ -”

“I had my hand raised and you ignored me!” Louis accused as he swerved to Mrs. Austin’s side, Mrs. Austin heaving a loud sigh as she quickly fought to keep to Louis’ pace, never overlooking to the faint blush tingeing to his cheeks.

“Louis, is there something you need to tell me?”

“No!” Louis answered quickly with an edge of defense as he spun to the teacher that slowly walked toward him with a hand raised, her fingers touching gently to Louis’ shoulder as she squatted slowly to bring them to each other’s eyelevel.

“Louis, if there’s a secret you feel you can’t share with your mum-”

“No.” Louis finalized again as he spun and made to go back to the classroom, turning at the last second to toss a final thought. “D’you think it’ll stop raining?”

“Well, it should-”

Louis nodded without answer as he nearly skipped back to the classroom; Zayn and Josh watching him pass, as they looked to one another with the faint knowledge that Mrs. Austin would never know.

  
  


Naturally, time would pass slowly when there was call of something important, and pass entirely too quickly in the event of having fun. This is where Louis found himself, eagerly awaiting the bell to strike the time of releasing the children to play throughout the gardens that had allowed time to dry in the absence of the rain that had seemed to quit ever since Louis had left Harry to the hidden stall of the toilets. It was nerve-wracking, yet exciting as Louis was terrified when the time came that he would enter the toilets to find Harry hadn’t had the patience to wait and had simply decided that he was going to lock himself away again.

Tapping his fingers quickly to the desk before him, Louis never thought to pay attention to Zayn’s disgusted look or Josh’s glance of worry as Louis shifted once before shifting again, a girl sitting just behind Louis giving a sharp intake of breath in frustration. Anxiously gnawing to his bottom lip and again scanning the clock, Louis was the first from his seat and gathering his things seconds before the bell tolled that recess had come, all heads turning to Louis’ direction as he ran from the room to squeak down the hallway back to Mrs. Austin’s empty classroom. Allowing a quick glance her way as the teacher was sat with her forehead in her hand with a pen held to the other meticulously grading papers, Louis tossed his things within his rucksack as he fought the zipper closed.

“Louis?” Mrs. Austin spoke up as Louis’ fingers fought to work faster in getting him the hell out of there. “What’s the rush? You alright?”

“’M fine.” Louis mumbled as he managed to do up his rucksack only to notice he’d left his workbook out on his desk, heaving a loud sigh of frustration as he undid everything only to have to start over yet again.

“You don’t have to pack your things yet, Louis you’ll be back inside after recess?”

“It’s fine.” Louis snapped as he managed the zippers closed to shrug the rucksack to his back, spinning quickly to his heel as he ducked his head and fleetingly tried to dash from the room.

“Louis, hold on! Why are you taking your pack?” Louis rolled his eyes as he melted to the flow of children running the opposite direction as Louis ran to many different fronts that shoved back to his chest and made to move him from their way.

“Move!” Louis shouted as he began waving his elbows about crazily, his eyes meeting to a confused Liam and Niall as they stood to the side of the hallway with Zayn and Josh before he was again ducking his eyes from view and fighting for the toilets.

It was an ironic situation, to flee for the toilets to bring out a hidden secret that literally could’ve been found by anyone, and yet no one knew. Like Louis, Harry was an invisible boy, and together they would conquer dragons and create soapy messes that wouldn’t be held in their accounts because to the world they didn’t exist, and it was _exciting_. Harry was Louis’ escape, and that was why Louis was so frantic to enter the toilets to find his maths teacher washing his hands slowly at the sinks. Freezing nearly in the doorway, Louis forced a smile to the grumpy, wrinkled man’s forehead that further furrowed as he watched Louis just stand there.

“Well?” He coaxed roughly as Louis began to wring his fingers nervously.

“Ehm- I can’t go? With someone else here?” Louis fished as the maths teacher rolled his eyes and snapped the water off, looking toward the paper towel dispenser then checking to Louis’ awkward grimace before deciding to just wipe his hands to his trousers and stalk back out into the chaos.

Checking that no one else was on their way, Louis slowly stepped to the stall door as he knocked softly and lay an ear to the door.

“Harry?”

“Louis!” A voice thrilled gently as the door was quickly unlocked and Harry was stood before Louis in his underwear and socks, his arms looping tightly about Louis’ neck as Louis quickly shoved his way in the stall and locked it behind himself, looking oddly to Harry’s clothes draped over the tall walls to either side of them as they dried. “I got a bit chilly in them-”

“So you just stripped in the toilets?” Louis crowed in disbelief as Harry nodded proudly, Louis shaking his head with a tiny smile as he gestured first to Harry’s trousers. “Well, come on then! The recess bell has rung and I figure I’ll stay with you until the bus comes.”

“Won’t you get in some sort of trouble?” Harry questioned doubtfully as he shook his head slightly to the stupidity of the stunt he’d pulled really without thinking as he jumped to his trousers legs and shoes.

“I don’t care.” Louis decided last minute as he flung Harry his shirt and coat, taking a minute to look over his mussed and dried hair before Louis’ fingers were tangled gently to Harry’s with a coaxing smile. “I just want to be with you.”

Harry’s lips parted to the warm look crossed to Louis’ face as he tried to speak, yet settled with a slight nod, as he was speechless to Louis’ obvious beauty and grace, even for a rendezvous in a public toilet. Giving a slight tug of his hand, Louis was first from the stall and the bathroom door as Harry stuck tightly to his rucksack, both boys rounding the corner to the thinned crowd of milling children, as Louis never dared to look fully to Harry over his shoulder.

“Just stay close and don’t look to any teachers.” Harry gripped a bit harder to Louis’ fingers as a sign that he understood as Louis lead them through the middle of the hallway, no one truly seeming to see either boy as they were hidden in plain sight, a simple brush of wind to their cheeks that they could turn their shoulders up to and hope would pass as a cold, unwelcome chill.

Nearly to the doors that were still stood open to the playground beyond, Louis’ feet began to move quicker, Harry keeping perfect pace as he couldn’t help the dimples from flashing to his cheeks in recognition that Louis was willing to sacrifice himself and get into trouble for Harry’s stupid and unthought-of plan. It was so close, the cool wind billowing through the further line of trees as Louis could nearly _feel_ the soft grass laying to his back as he tucked tighter to Harry’s side, unseen from the judging eyes of the other boys that he knew would be looking, when it happened-

“Louis!” Mrs. Austin called from within her classroom as Harry’s feet stuttered, Louis pulling him harder than he’d intended as he hissed over his shoulder.

“Don’t stop moving-”

“Louis, I need to talk to you!” Mrs. Austin shouted as she sprung from her desk and was stood to the doorway of her classroom in nearly seconds as she watched Louis’ feet touch to the grass beyond the door, a tiny boy that still seemed to be bigger than Louis himself shadowing a slight glance over his shoulder as Mrs. Austin thought to the little boy that was also stood in the middle of the road the day the bus had sat in wait of Louis’ departure from another- “Louis! Get back here right now!”

“Run!” Louis instructed sharply as he gripped as hard as he possibly could to Harry’s hand, Harry’s lips unable to keep away the smile that formed as he thrilled to the adrenaline pumping through his veins.

“Louis!” Mrs. Austin called as she hobbled to the heels she’d made a poor choice of wearing that morning, Louis and Harry tearing through the crowds of other children that watched in interest, yet never made way to move.

“You’re going to be in so much trouble!” Harry mused as Louis directed him forward, Louis’ stomach pitching sickly a bit to the thought that yeah, he was screwed after all this.

“Louis Tomlinson, stop and come back here!” Mrs. Austin was heard calling as Louis chanced a look over his shoulder, Mrs. Austin still attempting to run as she held her skirt from riding up her thighs as she pointed in frustration to the older and crankier woman teacher that watched in disinterest before turning back to her novel.

“Louis!” A voice called in what seemed to be pride as Louis looked to his left to Niall and Josh waving excitedly, Liam and Zayn posted to the swing set behind them as they looked on in looks of disbelief and shock.

“Should they come as well?” Harry questioned innocently as Louis shook his head in defiance and willed Harry move quicker.

“No.”

Noting the hint of anger marring Louis’ breathless tone, Harry followed simply in silence there after, his feet seeming to clomp to the soggy and squished grass beneath as Louis expertly wove his way through the trees, taking Harry further to the small cropping of woods that looked familiar to his own, yet still so different. Busy in looking to the trees and heavy, darkened clouds peeking about overhead, Harry ran square to Louis’ back at Louis’ sudden stop.

“Here, duck down! She can’t follow us to where I want to take you or she’ll know about it.” Louis hissed as he gathered Harry tightly to his side, the large, mossed trunk of a tree with hazy and blackened bark seeming to shield them from view as both Harry and Louis’ ears perked to the sound of unsteady feet coming all the while closer.

“Louis!” Mrs. Austin seemed to plead as she crossed her arms tightly about her chest from the cold, her eyes straining as well as her ears for any sign of where Louis had stolen Harry away to. “Louis Tomlinson, you come out this instant or I’ll call your mum, do you hear me? You cannot have Harry hiding out here!”

“She’ll call your mum?” Harry whispered warmly to Louis’ ear as Louis shook his head and rolled his eyes plainly for Harry to watch and marvel in his depravity of giving a shit.

“Please don’t make me, Louis! I just think we need to call Harry’s mum and have him picked up!” Louis sat forward a little bit as he mentally calculated Mrs. Austin step, his eyes narrowing as her foot drew closer.

“Louis, she’s-”

“Shh!” Louis begged as he smacked a hand to Harry’s lips, Mrs. Austin ignorant to the debate as she fully fled forward and gave a sharp intake a breath follow by a small shout of paint.

Connecting his eyes to Harry’s, Louis never broke their gaze to look to Mrs. Austin doubled over as she fought to free her shoe from the tiny rocks of the bubbling stream she’d never even seen in her rush of pursuing Louis in the act and finding out where he and the other boys were always sneaking off to.

“Shit!”

“But, she’s hurt?” Harry again whispered as Louis gently brought their lips together, the disbelief that Harry was actually there overwhelming in that moment as he came to deal with the fact that Mrs. Austin could be laying with a concussion and he wouldn’t bring himself away.

Holding close to Harry in the heat that they generated of one another, Louis was still clear in never breaking his and Harry’s eye contact, his ears still listening carefully as Mrs. Austin continued to curse lowly and hobble back to the safety of the primary where she would acquire proper shoes and a bandage for the cut on her ankle. As her footsteps faded, Louis slowly touched his forehead to Harry’s as Harry smiled tenderly, his fingers raising slowly to trace to Louis’ bottom lip in wonder as Louis smiled and kissed the tiny fingertip softly.

“Come on.”

“D’you think she’ll be okay?” Harry wondered gently as he stood and followed to Louis’ slow lead, Louis passing a fleeting glance toward the retreating and small figure of a crippled Mrs. Austin as he shrugged and ventured further in exactly the perfect place he’d known he’d always wanted to lay with Harry.

“Does it matter? She wanted to call your mum!” Falling even in line next to Louis, Harry smiled deviously to the question he knew was to come by the crinkle of Louis’ forehead. “By the way, how does your mum not care that you’ve snuck away?”

“My mum had something boring to do in the city and my gran is _supposed_ to be watching me.”

“Supposed to be.” Louis offered as he and Harry laughed gently to think of anyone other than Anne being able to hold Harry within a cage.

“Yeah, she was for a bit I guess, before she fell asleep in front of the telly! Honestly Louis, I love my gran but she smells of peppermint and moth balls!” Louis was unable to cover his mouth to bite back the explosive laugh that fell from his chest as Harry smirked in pride, Louis shaking his head in amusement as he felt the ground slope just a bit beneath his feet as they were coming closer.

“Well, have her teeth come out yet?” Louis offered as Harry snorted and rolled his eyes, his lips nearly about to part in answer before he was stood quietly in wonder to the beautiful sight he saw before him.

Harry’s eyes were unsure where to look first, whether it be to the village below or the tiny clearing at the foot of the hill before it was again swallowed to a thick of trees, or rather Louis who was extending his free arm to his side as he closed his eyes to the wind that picked through the slight gap of hanging fabric beneath the arm of his jumper and pitched his rucksack to his side.

“This is beautiful.” Harry whispered, as he never looked from Louis’ fringe billowing in the wind, Louis nodding as he let his eyes slip open to gaze to what he knew was the London skyline not far off.

“The city is almost so close, you could reach out and touch it.” Louis marveled as Harry nodded and searched the surrounding hills to the one he knew he and Louis lived, smiling privately to the thought of what it must’ve been like to be a bird, to be able to see and know everything from the view of the heavens.

“Do you think we’ll have much time?” Harry proposed as he followed Louis’ lead in lying back to the grass, Louis offering nothing more than a tiny shrug of the shoulders and a quirk to the corner of his mouth.

“Doesn’t matter really, does it? I’m already in trouble.”

“’M sorry, I didn’t really think it out-”

“Don’t apologize.” Louis cut in as he lay to his side facing Harry, Harry looking to Louis slowly from the corner of his eye as he sighed. “Harry, please? I’m glad you came to see me, because I tried so many times-”

“To come see me?” Harry nearly choked as Louis nodded slowly and shriveled slightly to anger marring those dimples that had once claimed home. “She’s so horrid, sometimes!”

“Who? Your mum?”

“I asked!” Harry exploded as he quickly sat, his tiny fingers gripping the death from the legs of his trousers as his cheeks flushed with color. “I asked her if she’d known if you’d come to see me or not and she always said no! Louis, I swear had I known I would’ve come quicker, but I thought _you_ might’ve been in trouble-”

“But I thought you were in trouble!” Louis burst as Harry’s eyes grew cold, his throat constricting tightly as he swallowed to the disgusting taste fouling his mood to the core.

“If we were grown, I’d move away and never come back.” Harry growled as a shift in the air sent a painful chill to Louis’ spine, Louis taking a moment to look to Harry’s fingers still wringing the life of his trousers before his lips parted in confusion to the _long_ fingers that were now in place.

Sitting up as well, Louis followed the fingers to an intricately littered left arm that spelled the story of a conflicted childhood and a longing in the understanding of his life painted in the inscription of tattoos to a well muscled left arm, the sleeve of the thin t-shirt worn rolled ever so slightly before Louis was gasping to the face of beauty he’d not known existed before.

Of course Harry had a sense of eloquence and grace in the gaiety of his step, but to see in person what it meant to flourish as the boy grew to a man, Louis was star struck. Harry looked to be no older than nineteen, and was absolutely ruthless in the glare he’d fixed to the village sat below, his wild and mussed curls not quite as curly anymore as his eyes still reigned as deep and as captivating as before.

“When we’re grown, we’ll never look back to this village.” Harry’s voice rumbled lowly as Louis nearly melted to the grass beneath, one of his hands reaching out to touch to Harry’s arm slowly before Louis was drawing back to look to his own hands that were _older_. “No matter the bullshit, no matter what our parents think, we’ll know what’s right for us, and we’ll just _do_ it, yeah?”

Unable to speak, Louis simply nodded his head before he was nearly a puddle to Harry’s turn of the head, those eyes framed by dark, long lashes looking to him carefully before those beautifully full, pink lips pulled back to those still white and glistening teeth.

“So, you _do_ get more attractive with age.” Harry chuckled as Louis simply gave a nod of confusion before frowning and raising a hand to his own face, his fingers tracing a line of stubble dotted to his chin as he raised wide eyes to Harry’s calmed expression.

“Are we really older?”

“If only for a bit.” Harry shrugged as he sighed and flopped back to the grass, Louis’ attention unable to look away from the raising of Harry’s shirt up his stomach as he took note of a tiny tattoo scrawled just to Harry’s left hip.

“Harry-”

“D’you ever feel like you’re alone, Louis?” Harry questioned softly as Louis’ fingers gripped to the wet, slippery grass that separated them as he longed for nothing more than to pitch himself to Harry’s chest and will back his eyelids to stare to the eyes he would never tire of.

“Of course-”

“No, I mean truly alone.” Harry emphasized, as Louis’ expression grew quickly sour.

“Of course I feel alone, when don’t I? I’m constantly battling others to believe the way things should be, or how they happen, and no one ever believes a word I’m saying! Like I’m crazy or something.” Louis’ eyebrows gathered in frustration as he turned to Harry’s head cocked in his direction. “Why would you ask me that like I _wouldn’t_ know? I came to your clearing in search of a friend-”

“I don’t want you to feel alone anymore.” Harry cut in as Louis’ heart gave a tiny squeeze, his fingers slipping from the grass as Louis nearly punched himself to the cheek.

“But, how-”

“I’ll just have to live with you. Forever.” Harry snipped as he again closed his eyes and gathered his hands behind his head, Louis’ lips unable to keep from curling upward as a weird heat began to the pool to the pit of his stomach to the outline of the muscles beneath Harry’s shirt clearly showing through the fabric of his t-shirt that was growing see-through with the slight mist that clambered lazily from the clouds crawling past overhead.

“Forever’s a long time.” Louis chucked nervously as Harry produced a long, loud laughter to the obvious nervousness in Louis’ voice.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Turning his eyes from the smudge of dirt to his trouser knee, Louis was shy in lacing his fingers to Harry’s that flopped to his leg as Harry watched him quietly through a curl that plastered gently to his forehead. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and to leave that behind when we’re grown would be silly.”

“But what about when you’ve got a girlfriend?” Louis hinted as his mind boggled to the stupidity of the question that he most certainly did _not_ want to know the answer to, Harry giving a loud snort in reply as he sighed to Louis’ tension of his hand.

“Don’t be stupid Louis, girls are gross.” Louis ducked his chin to his chest as he took in the broad gait of his shoulders and his fuller hips as Harry gave a gentle tug to their hands. “When d’you think the first snow will be?”

“What?”

“The first snow? When do you think it will be? I’ve been waiting and expecting it before now, but all its done has rained.” Louis frowned before giving a chuckle and falling to his back again, curling around in an awkward position to lay his head directly next to Harry’s as Harry pressed his nose to Louis’ cheek.

“Where did you even think that up?”

“I’ve been thinking it.” Harry replied lowly as Louis’ stomach again thrilled weirdly to the low, smooth tone of Harry’s voice that brought a squeak to his voice and a tremble behind his knees.

“I wish you could make us stay like this.” Louis laughed with a sigh of desire as Harry’s eyes flicked to Louis’ sharply contrasted cheekbones and curved eyebrows that he decided would melt the hearts of millions one day without even the slightest knowledge that he was doing it.

“I wish I could do a lot of things for you.” Squeezing his fingers tighter around Harry’s, Louis brought the back of Harry’s hand to his lips before he kissed softly to Harry’s next question that caught him even further off guard and left him cold. “What do you think it’ll be like when we finally die?”

“What?”

“Well, do you think we’ll see angels? Will the skies part and we’ll be sucked up to Heaven in a beam of light to stand before a huge pair of golden gates, or will our bodies just melt and rot off in the ground without a place for our soul to go to?” Louis watched Harry carefully as a gentle flicker of pain flashed across his face. “I’m scared to know the answer, to be honest.”

“Why are you thinking about it? You’re not going to die.” Harry snorted to the ridiculous claim as he rolled to his side to press to Louis warmly in the wind that picked up speed with the rain that was again coming.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Louis. We all die eventually, I’m just wondering what it’ll be like-”

“It doesn’t matter!” Louis snapped as he sat and pushed Harry from his side, Harry flopping dejectedly to his back as he sighed to Louis’ newfound prissy attitude.

“Louis-”

“No, it’s a stupid question!”

“It’s not stupid!” Harry interrupted as he too sat and gathered Louis’ hand within his own, bringing their tangle of fingers to lay between his thighs as he fought to bring Louis’ face closer to his own. “I’m just trying to subtly tell you that the monster is getting stronger, and with the time I was away from you it seems to be getting worse.”

“Away from me?” Louis frowned as Harry’s face adopted a brilliant smile.

“The more I’m with you, the weaker it becomes it seems. But, if I’m away from you for long it seems to gain more power and it’s nearly unbearable to stand.” Harry nuzzled his nose to Louis’ cheek as Louis looked to Harry’s un-tattooed right arm that was absolutely littered with black and green bruises. “You’re like my savior or something.”

“I have a jar in my closet!” Louis burst as Harry’s eyebrows tensed in confusion before he was laughing wildly.

“A jar, just imagine it!”

“No, listen you tit! I’ve been saving any money I could get from chores and other things to buy a one-way ticket out of here!” Harry’s expression seemed to freeze about his mouth as he frowned to Louis in disappointment.

“Where would you go, then?”

“Where ever _you_ wanted to go.” Louis promised quietly as Harry watched him closely, his face rising in light and color as he smiled and instantly wrapped his arms tightly to Louis’ neck.

“You would take me with you?”

“What am I supposed to do, _leave_ you?” Louis questioned dumbfounded as Harry gave a loud shout of happiness before he was tackling Louis to his back, Harry’s body pressed flush and somewhat damp to Louis’ own as he gathered Louis’ cheeks tightly within his palms and brought their lips loudly together.

“You’re going to save me, then?”

“Do you honestly need to be saved?” Louis marveled as Harry shrugged and replaced his face with an expression of cockiness, his torso long and lean as he sat to Louis’ waist and patted himself to the back.

“I suppose with you by my side, we shall conquer the world old chap!”

“You’re a mess.” Louis laughed as he knocked Harry from top of him before rolling to Harry’s side, both boys wet with the rain and torn shreds of grass as they clung to the other’s hands without feeling to their numb fingers or a flinch to the far off bell of Louis’ primary that signaled recess was to be over.

“Will you pull through?” Harry questioned with a devilish upturn of his eyebrows as Louis rolled his eyes and sighed.

“ _You’re_ the cause of my rash of bad behavior lately, you know.”

“And you wouldn’t have it another way!” Harry defended as he lined his face to Louis’ and smashed their noses together, Louis trying to push Harry’s face away with a loud laugh as Harry again rolled himself to top of Louis only to bring Louis from the fog of his mind to the crystal clear notion of what was to happen next.

Harry’s cheeks were flush from the cold, his hair an utter and complete mess, and yet his lips were still warm. They were warm to either of Louis’ cheek bones, the tiny bags beneath Louis’ eyes, Louis’ chin and finally Louis’ lips, the warmth of Louis’ stomach further curling to a burning gnaw of raw emotion as Harry’s tongue traced to his bottom lip before Louis was sighing to Harry’s open mouth that gave in relief.

Laying there in the mist and the cold, Louis’ fingers tightened to the back of Harry’s t-shirt as he willed this for his forever. Whether he was beating girls away with a stick or locking Harry away all day to build forts in their front room, Louis longed to hold Harry close like this until the day he was called to Heaven or placed in a box in the soot and soil. Allowing his eyes slip closed to Harry’s tongue sliding against his own, Louis couldn’t help the tiny, breathy groan that filtered from his chest as Harry’s back grew rigid and his teeth locked to Louis’ top lip, his nose skimming to the stubble just beneath Louis’ flared nostrils.

Further digging his fingers to the muscles of Harry’s back that flexed in response, Louis was growing unable to bear the painful fire that was burning and licking up his spine, the uncomfortable sensation seeming to tickle to the sides of his ribs and blur his vision as Harry quickly consumed Louis’ world, cutting off his air way and sinking beneath Louis’ skin as Louis’ mind played to a vision of the two of them in the very position to a large bed in a flat of downtown London, Harry’s _bare_ bum poking from the corner of a duvet-

“Harry, we should go.” Louis squeaked, as everything seemed to heave and rise before crashing around them with the loud snap of lightning, Harry nearly falling away from Louis in surprise as his cheeks and neck grew splotched and red with embarrassment and strain from what he’d not known he was going to do so fully.

“I’m sorry-”

“No, the bus!” Louis soothed as he watched gently to the transformation of Harry falling back to his smaller trousers and tiny coat, his eyes a bit wider for his face as his lips still rang rosy and _swollen_. “I don’t want to have to walk home in the rain.”

Harry still sat to his place in what seemed to be surprise as he raised a small hand to trace his bottom lip, Louis’ tongue seeming to have the very idea as Louis tasted to the raw spot Harry’s teeth had bitten to. Without a word further, Louis smiled to Harry in knowing as Harry’s chest constricted to the vision of older Louis fading away as well, his fingers tangling to those of a small and frozen hand as Louis pulled him to his feet and pointed Harry back to the direction with which they’d come as he shrugged with difficulty to his damp and soiled rucksack.

Though it wasn’t the fast pace with which they’d found the tiny hill, Louis and Harry’s hearts still raced within their chest, both boys oblivious to the world around them as they still saw the other as an elder laying next to them in the wet grass, a mature smile crossing full lips or a flutter of long, dark eyelashes to sculpted cheekbones again tying their stomachs in knots of nervousness and pity of their poor hearts that wouldn’t be able to stand living in the presence of something so breathtaking.

In choosing to instead round the primary then walk straight through it in the line of fire, Louis never once dropped Harry’s hand from his own as he peeked to the building to find Mrs. Austin nursing her ankle by distributing her weight to her other hip, her eyes crawling over the children passing in search for the one she _knew_ wouldn’t have a choice but to stroll casually by.

“What do we do?” Harry questioned gently as Louis righted his chest and pointed his chin in confidence.

“Get on the bus! What is she going to do, keep us after?”

“I’d run for it.” Harry muttered as Louis looked to him quickly over his shoulder, the idea dawning to him for the first time as he smiled and nodded, giving Harry the knowing look that Harry was the reason why Louis was picking up on so many bad habits before they were charging through the sea of children that seemed to swallow them alive.

“Is she looking?” Louis questioned loudly over the chatting and calls of goodbye from one person to the other as Harry craned to his tiptoes to find Mrs. Austin’s face screwed in annoyance.

“Don’t think so, but she looks bloody angry!”

Louis shrugged in indifference as he gave a slight tug to Harry’s hand, pulling Harry along in his wake as they calmly stood before the doors of Louis’ bus, the bus driver giving an annoyed shake of his hand that they speed it up.

“Come on then, lads! Haven’t got all day, and I’ve got a busy schedule to keep today!”

“Louis Tomlinson!” A voice shouted suddenly as Harry looked over his shoulder, Mrs. Austin’s hand raised in wait to the bus driver as Louis tugged Harry the remainder of the stairs before looking quickly around the already filled bus that was truly only missing himself.

“We need to go!” Louis prompted as the bus driver fixed him to a perplexed expression, the tiny hint of panic coloring to Louis’ cheeks as Mrs. Austin hobbled forward seeming to issue through to the driver as he thought of the time Louis had sat in misery to the seat directly behind his own as a forlorn animal left to wilt and wither in the rain, the driver quick in snapping the doors of the bus shut to Mrs. Austin’s face before motioning to his wrist watch that he didn’t have time to waste.

“Louis!” Mrs. Austin shouted as her eyes followed Louis and Harry quickly clambering down the aisle to fling to a seat, the anger rising quickly within her chest as she fixed her eyes dangerously to the bus driver who simply shrugged again before throwing the bus to drive and pulling slowly from the curb to leave the seething woman to a cloud of smoke from the tailpipe.

“You’re going to get it tomorrow.”

“It was worth it.” Louis whispered back as Harry snuggled to his side with a tight yawn, Louis’ heart again flittering about his chest like a hummingbird as he ignored Zayn’s cryptic look from around Liam’s perplexed, open-mouthed stare to the aisle and Josh and Niall’s ruckus hollering from behind.

Settling comfortably back to his seat, Louis’ eyes met to the bus drivers as the two shared a private smile, a warm breath to Louis’ shoulder seeming to comfort him from the nervousness that he’d managed to mask well as he visibly melted to the seat at Harry’s cuddling to his shoulder. Looking from the corner of his eye to Harry’s cheek squished to the soft fabric of his jumper, Louis reveled in the fact that he was sitting among his friends, and yet wasn’t alone. It seemed not that long ago that Louis had been moping in the same spot over the same thought simply for being completely and utterly pair-less as the other boys were wrapped up in the other.

Smiling, Louis turned more to Harry’s warmth as he knocked their knees together and willed that the ride last forever, because he knew he wouldn’t mind. Louis would stand Zayn’s ruthless taunting and Liam’s worried eyebrows if it meant that he was to keep this feeling of comfort forever. It was a silent moments peace, but it already meant so much, and Louis never wanted to forget what it felt like. It was as if the hole of his middle was always destined to be filled with the light and pleasure that Harry brought to his life, and though it came with monsters and the occasional storm, Louis knew he would simply turn his collar up to the weather and continue to squeeze his fingers tighter to Harry’s. Looking gently to Harry’s fluttering eyes that never moved to a bump in the road or a sharp turn, Louis nodded slightly for his own benefit, because he knew his choice in what he wanted from his forever, how he thought his death would be and who he would be standing with as the first snow fell.

  
  


“You mum is literally going to kill me!”

“Is it awful?” Harry answered without care as he spun to the grassy lane lining the middle of the road, Louis nodding his head quickly as he traced the grass stains flowering down the backs of Harry’s trouser legs. “She’ll just think I slipped outside the house or something stupid.”

“Unless Mrs. Austin calls my mum.” Louis pointed out as Harry froze for a second with his back to the rest of the journey, Louis slowly gaining on him as Harry suddenly looked up with a wide smile stretched to his cheeks. Louis wasn’t sure how many more times it could happen, yet he found himself again trying to catch his breath to the sparkle of Harry’s eyes as if he’d trapped a gathering of stars from the constellations swirling to Louis’ ceiling to trap and mash them with a mixture of crystal and diamond to litter above his blush-ridden cheeks.

“Let her, then! Today was the best!”

“It was fun, but I don’t think you should do it again.” Louis warned gently as he walked to Harry’s front and gave a sharp poke to Harry’s chest, Harry slowly raising his arms before him as he rolled his eyes and turned for the side of the road that would lead him home.

It was bittersweet in watching Harry begin to clamber through the weeds and brambles as Louis stood still just off the side of the road, his eyes watching Harry pass from sight slowly before his head was popping up again to smile to Louis happily.

“It was the best day _ever_!” Harry announced cheerfully as Louis offered a strangled laugh, a thought gnawing to his brain, as he couldn’t bite back the words from passing his teeth.

“Will I see you again? Soon?” Louis’ fingers twisted together nervously as Harry slowly stood forward to touch to the back of Louis’ hand softly, his eyes wide and earnest as he gave a gentle nod with a parting of his lips.

“D’you think there’s anyone that could keep me away?” Louis tilted his head back as he laughed with a sigh of relief, Harry turning slowly with a raise of his hand in goodbye before Louis was tripping over his words in an effort to be heard before Harry was gone.

“But, wait- I’ve got a footie game coming up? It’s tomorrow, and I was hoping you’d come? And we could go out for sweest after or something? I mean of course if your mum is alright with it and everything.” Louis cheeks grew warm as he touched to his little roll about his middle that showed clearly through his jumper that he knew would be bouncing around on the pitch. “I mean, I don’t mean to brag and think I’m any good or anything, but still! If you’d like to come-”

“Louis!” Harry called suddenly with a quirk of his lips, Louis slowly dragging his eyes from the toes of his shoes to lock to Harry’s eyes brimming with amusement as he gave an overdramatic nod.

“I dunno how to play, but I’ll be first in the stands to cheer you on!” Louis’ cheeks nearly split as Harry again turned with a gentle wave, his hands suddenly flung over his head as he shouted to the trees before him. “It’s like you don’t believe I’ll sneak away from _anything_!”

Laughing quietly to himself, Louis watched the flicker of an older Harry’s skinny hips sway through the trees balanced on long, thin stick legs before he was back to the tiny, squatty boy that began running in need of finding a toilet again quickly. Turning back to the road and thinking to what it would be like to be in the middle of the pitch beneath those burning bright lights only to find Harry there smiling and clapping him on, Louis couldn’t _help_ but run the entire way home with every so often a loud giggle bursting from his lips.

  
  


⊱⊰


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time because change in all things is undoubtedly sweet.”

  
  


[This Is Not Where We Are Supposed To Be](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbnEWI-j4L8)

 

 

The bubbling of Louis’ stomach was never quite gone as he’d tossed and turned happily through the night, yet not without a slight sniffle and a growing warmth to his forehead. It hadn’t taken much to convince Jay in allowing Louis to skip primary that day, seeing that she had the day off in preparation of being at Louis’ game to cheer him on once before diving her nose to her pager that would ring constantly in screaming of her need at the hospital that consumed her whole. Louis wasn’t stupid and he knew it was a long shot, but there was still this glimmer of hope that Harry would magically be there that scared the shit out of him.

Harry wasn’t even allowed to make a bit of a mess in Louis’ kitchen without being whisked away and hidden for a week, why would Anne or the monster allow him to an entire footie game? Still lying to the middle of his bed, Louis had wasted the entire day indoors, simply thinking. Louis could still see a grown Harry so perfectly in his mind that it was nearly a haunting, but he _liked_ it. He wasn’t sure if he should, but Louis was craving the ability to have that grown Harry close to him yet again, and as he again fell heavily in relying to his imagination to muster up those long, never ending legs again, Louis’ hands caught the football that was hurdling back to his grip from the slight pitch he’d given absentmindedly.

Why was Harry asking about death? Why did it matter? Surely this monster didn’t have enough power to physically _kill_ Harry, did it? The thought made Louis squirm uncomfortably as he thought back to that flash of red within Anne’s eyes that made his head pound and his throat ache, the football again being tossed lightly above his head as Louis braced for impact to his palms; surprise and confusion flitting to his face as a large pair of hands caught it mid-air. Smiling slightly, Louis’ eyes traced the tattooed left arm to the rolled sleeves of the plain white t-shirt as his own teeth shone to those of a beautiful boy balanced lightly to the duvet over him.

“You’re going to drop this on your face, and then how will you explain yourself?” Harry questioned sarcastically as Louis pouted his lips tensely.

“Not like you know how to play!”

“Yeah? And how would you know?” Harry’s face took a slight hint of sly mischief as he bent to squat near Louis as he pretended to drop the ball to Louis’ face in time of Louis flinching as Harry cackled and yet still held the ball firmly to his chest.

“You think you’re so tough!” Louis snapped as he sat and shoved to older Harry’s chest, Harry giving a loud laugh as he tumbled into the wall and shoved his feet to Louis’ chest, Louis smacking away the stinky socks as Harry’s legs seemed to take up the entire space.

“I’m at least eleven years older than you! Of course I’m tough!”

“You’re a ninny!” Louis snapped as Harry fully tackled him and gathered Louis’ head beneath his curved elbow, his loud laughter reverberating about the room as Louis pushed to his chest and struggled away.

“Well, then be tough and get away!”

“Harry!” Louis whined as Harry again laughed and laid him flat to his back, Louis’ eyes glazing tightly in captivation to the beauty he’d never once seen before. Harry seemed to slow himself as his lips and cheeks eased into comfort, his eyes watching Louis carefully as he quirked an eyebrow in the silence of Louis’ fingers gripping to his biceps.

“What?”

“You’re not real.” Louis sighed sadly as Harry chewed to the inside of his cheek before smiling grandly.

“Cheer up-”

“No.” Louis replied stubbornly as he turned his face away and fixed his eyes to his bedroom door that was tightly shut to close Louis off from the rest of the house that was slowly coming around in Mark’s return home from a short day of work.

“Louis.” Harry coaxed softly as a warm finger hinted to Louis’ cheek, a soft yet firm grip falling around Louis’ chin, as Harry was insistent that Louis look to him. “This is _me_ , grown up. I’m still somewhat real, you’ve just not gotten to grow up and meet me yet.”

“How long will I have to wait, then?” Louis replied stubbornly as Harry softly kissed to Louis’ forehead, laughing gently.

“You’re still so stubborn, Jesus Christ.”

“How long?” Louis demanded as he landed a soft punch to Harry’s chest, Harry rolling his eyes to the bratty nature as he again stood and fixed his shirt.

“I’d say about eleven years.”

“What!” Louis exploded as Harry’s head fell back to release a loud and obnoxious laugh in time to Louis’ bedroom door flying open, Louis’ head turning just in time to catch the football with the side of his temple rather than his nose.

As his hands flew up to clutch to the pain blooming to his skull, Jay froze with an odd look on her face before rolling her eyes and slinging Louis’ freshly washed and pressed football kit to the bed beneath his feet as Louis grumbled to Harry’s laugh that still lightly rang about the room. Louis had forgotten entirely about the football.

“Are you ready to play, then?” Jay asked excitedly as she flopped next to Louis on the bed, Louis giving a tiny shrug of his shoulders as he brought his hand away from his head to look about for Harry’s stupid, smirking face.

“I guess, yeah. I invited Harry to come watch, but I dunno-”

“Harry’s coming?” Jay interrupted as Louis looked to her as if she were stupid.

“I invited him, but that doesn’t mean Anne will let him come.”

“Ah right, the monster thing!” Jay teased as she patted to Louis’ thigh and laughed, Louis’ face falling darkly as he locked Jay to the nastiest look he possibly could.

“ _Don’t_ make fun of it.”

“Oh Louis, come off it! Get excited for the game and stop worrying about what Harry’s doing for once! I’ve even dressed Lottie in your team colors!” Fighting the urge to simply shove Jay from the bed altogether, Louis’ fingers curled to his duvet as his nostrils flared and his eyes nearly burned to the back of her skull as Jay calmly made her exit, Mark passing just outside the doorway as he smiled to Louis in excitement.

Louis wasn’t sure how she did it, but Jay always managed to ruin everything, and he just had to settle that it was something that mums did. They knew everything their children did, and no matter how bad or good it was, they wouldn’t believe, they wouldn’t try, they would ignore or they would make fun of it before taking it away. Pulling his knees beneath his chin, Louis looked solemnly to his football kit, as he knew deep within his gut that he shouldn’t still be holding out hope that Harry would show, but there was a part of him that couldn’t help it.

Sighing and flinging himself from the bed, Louis didn’t bother to shut the door again as he stripped and crawled into the kit, a rush of adrenaline settling beneath his skin as he thought of the sweat that would drip down his chin and pool to the crease of his top lip as he ran the field and fought to get the ball home. If Louis were given no other escape than Harry, football would be his chosen call.

“Thirty minutes!” Mark called as he again passed Louis’ doorway, Lottie hopping along and smacking her shoes to the wall as she followed in Mark’s wake as Louis looked toward the window that was still grim and told of the misty haze lay beyond.

“Louis’ so excited!” Jay shouted back somewhere from the kitchen as Louis pursed his lips and sighed, retrieving his cleats and socks from his discarded athletics bag as he trudged quietly down the hallway to flop to a kitchen chair.

“Yay, Louis!” Lottie screamed suddenly as she began running back and forth from the kitchen to the front room, Jay bending over about herself in a fit as Louis watched her with squinted eyes.

“Lottie, don’t retch this time! That was so embarrassing!” Jay snorted as Louis looked to her incredulously.

“Oh Louis, she was just overly excited-”

“So says the one that wasn’t retched on!” Mark exclaimed loudly as he swept Lottie to his shoulder and began teething lightly to her stomach, Lottie pitching about and screaming wildly as Louis laced his cleats and smiled absently to the bows flopping about her high, wispy ponytails.

“D’you think Harry will come?” The kitchen seemed to grow quiet as Mark dug the sides of his mouth tightly to his teeth as he frowned to Jay in confusion.

“The little boy that doesn’t go to primary?”

“Louis, I’m sure if he were Anne would’ve called.” Jay soothed with a hint of annoyance as Louis was sure to show his face falling, Mark instantly scoffing in disgust as he patted Lottie’s bum in assurance of calming her down a bit.

“I’m sure he’ll try his best to be there, Louis.”

“You think?” Louis questioned innocently as Mark nodded hopefully, Jay looking to him with a bite of her tongue as she rolled her eyes to the false hope.

“Mark, don’t-” Jay’s objection was cut short by the loud ringing of the front bell, Louis’ eyes widening in hope as Jay looked to him quickly. “Did you tell him to come here first?”

“I didn’t but he might!” Louis burst as he sped from his chair only to be caught around the collar by Jay’s quick fingers, her feet moving in front of Louis as he nearly clung to her leg in hope as she undid the locks and squeezed lightly with a turn of the knob to nearly fall back in _shock_.

“You.”

“Mrs. Tomlinson-” Mrs. Austin started as Jay nearly spat fire, her finger raised in disgust before she flattened her palm before Mrs. Austin’s face as she lightly pushed Louis back with her foot, death set in her eyes.

“Come to my house again, and I’ll have you put away.”

“Jay, I was just-” Louis flinched as the door was quickly slammed to Mrs. Austin’s face, Jay spinning tirelessly to Louis as she gripped him tightly about the chin.

“You tell your teacher to _keep_ her place.”

Louis frowned frightfully as Mark stood from the kitchen doorway, Jay quickly shaking her head as she thundered down the hallway to lock herself in the bathroom to come out of her spell, Louis turning his attention to Mark who shrugged innocently. Louis knew his mum wasn’t particular to Mrs. Austin, but if Jay was meaner to anyone other than Louis, Louis was just aware of it. Bounding to the front window to throw his elbows to the sill, Louis watched as Mrs. Austin slowly hobbled down the front walk on her ankle that was still bad and pained her terribly, her hair clinging wetly to her neck, as she never bothered to reopen her umbrella that hung to her side.

Frowning to how tiny and obsolete she looked, Louis felt a tinge of sadness mar his discontent for the teacher he knew was come to tattle on him as he watched the woman bend to her car and shut her skirt in the door behind her, her lips moving quietly as she again wrenched herself right and shut the door again. Waiting slowly, Mrs. Austin’s face crumpled as she laid her forehead to the steering wheel, a hand raised shakily before her lips as Louis understood her pain. There was no one that could make you feel worse than an enraged mother that wouldn’t even stand to reason, and though she had been there to snitch and preach, Louis wanted nothing more to hold Mrs. Austin to his lap and stroke the wet hair from her face and tell her everything would be alright.

“Away from the window.” Jay snapped suddenly as Louis jumped, looking carefully to Jay over his shoulder as he found she too was watching the woman crying within her car now sat idling on the curb with the headlights roaring.

“You made her cry.” Louis accused as Jay’s face pinched and her eyes grew cold, her lips parting as if to reply before she was simply turning her nose away and swept back to the darkness of the house that was winding down in their soon absence.

Squinting back to the front window, Louis wasn’t surprised to meet Mrs. Austin’s withered gaze as he raised a hand simply in goodbye, Mrs. Austin’s chest seeming to give a great heave as she timidly raised a hand halfway before smacking it back to the steering wheel, the car lurching to drive as her headlights twisted to the end of the street. Pressing his nose to the window, Louis wondered if some adults, like Mrs. Austin, understood what it was to have a monster of their own.

  
  


“Pressure! Keep pressure on ‘em and don’t let up!” A voice screamed as Louis’ head was nearly about to fall from his shoulders, his chest on fire as a sense of adrenaline pumped through his veins and propelled him to the other, tiny body that was weaving before him.

It was an indescribable feeling, to know that you can hold the power to change the outcome of anything in the world if you feel you have the courage for it. Even something so small as a little league footie game, Louis knew he was the one in that moment that could change everything, and though it came with pressure it was the best pressure he’d ever felt. Swallowing to ease the dry crackle of his throat as the breaths ripped from his chest, Louis managed to snake his foot between the feet of the boy that currently carrying the football down field as Louis spun in a way he’d seen on the television before balancing the ball between each cleat that was caked in mud.

“Louis! Yay!” Lottie screamed as Mark stood with the rest of the small gathering of parents for his team as they screamed him down field, Louis’ feet seeming to fly on their own accord as he passed the ball to Liam’s direction in avoiding two bigger boys that barreled straight for him before collecting the ball back once he was clear.

With the goal in sight, Louis’ eyes locked carefully to the net that hung heavily in the mist that was starting to fall a bit heavier now, the burn of the bright lights to the back of his neck seeming to ease the chill that clung to the shirt stretched across his shoulders.

“Let’s go, Lou!” Mark screamed as the gathering about him took their queue in jumping around a bit as well and cheering louder, Louis passing the ball again in waiting for a clear shot before the ball was dribbled back between his feet and it was the moment of truth.

Lips parted in concentration, Louis’ eyes were set to the goalkeeper of the other team as his tiny legs were stood stocky in stance in wait of the ball he was sure he was going to keep. Wiggling his fingers to keep himself from flailing, Louis set his foot in the angle to the belly of the ball and squinted, the flash of crimson through the net of the goal from the settling darkness of the shade of the further trees crossing his vision flightily before it was gone and a loud shout rose around the pitch. Feet frozen, Louis didn’t bother to notice his teammates rushing him or slapping him round the back and hugging his neck, Louis’ attention rather stolen to the puff of smoke further illuminating the downcast eyes that watched him emptily before they blinked away.

“You did it!” Liam shouted to Louis’ ear suddenly as he began running his fingers to Louis’ damp and matted fringe, the sound suddenly rushing back to Louis’ head as he rocked back onto his feet to his team that was still surrounding and applauding him as the coaches called for halftime.

“It made it?” Louis questioned stupidly as a bigger boy on the team, Andy, began cackling stupidly before smacking his friend Stan to the back.

“Where were you the entire time you’ve been playing? We’ve taken lead! If we can hold out we’ve got this game!” Louis quirked his eyebrows as he looked to Liam in surprise, Liam giving a slight nod before frowning and laying his hand to Louis’ lower back in pulling him along with the rest of the team to the benches.

“You alright?” Liam whispered slightly as Louis’ lips wrapped to the mouthpiece of his water bottle, the guzzle and force of the freezing water burning his stomach uncomfortably.

“I just thought- yeah, I’m fine-”

“Way t’keep your head in the game, Tomlinson!” Louis’ coach roared as he smacked Louis to the back and nearly sent him tumbling to his face over the bench, Louis giving a slight smile as he and the other boys huddled to the game plan set that was backward and reversed from the one just played.

Now, it wasn’t much Louis was embarrassed or liked to bring attention to it, but in that moment Louis couldn’t help but be mortified to having to raise to his tiptoes in order of trying to reach to the same hearing level as the other boys. He’d always been short, but being the smallest on his footie team had both its benefits and its drawbacks. Nodding in absence to the play that he’d already memorized and forgotten half a dozen times, Louis turned his attention to the short stack of stands as Mark and Lottie waved excitedly, Louis smiling and waving back slightly as he looked to Jay and sighed.

As planned, she was glued to her pager that was constantly ringing in her pocket as she typed quickly replies and texted in a frenzy to her mobile to her coworkers that hassled her to take their shifts, or come in for help so they could all pull out early. Caught to the attention of the greasy hair, Louis was unable to catch his smile that grew further to Tom and Lou bouncing in the stands and waving around an obnoxious foam finger that they’d previously bought at a professional footie game in the city, Lou giving Louis a quick thumbs up as Tom began flexing his arms and kicking his foot about in imitation of his being impressed to Louis’ play.

Blushing, Louis knew he wasn’t supposed to like them or entertain the fact that they were anything other than brainless teenagers, but there was a part of Louis that knew Tom and Lou would forever be part of his life, and if they were taken away, he would be just as sad as if he were losing one of the other boys. Grimacing to the sight of Eleanor naturally weaving her way through the throngs only to pause to Jay’s shoulder and hand her a small envelope with a tiny grin, Louis shuddered to know what was coming. Maybe now she was planning their wedding? The names of their future children?

 Pausing in his thought, Louis sensed the rising tension of falling back to the game as his eyes swept the faces. He didn’t recognize the unfamiliar from those of the traveling team, and he recognized every face of those who were _always_ there. Swallowing heavily to his heart plummeting to his ass, Louis again and again swept the crowd in hopes that Harry would be lingering the sideline, or hiding behind someone that had stood and was blocking Louis’ view clearly, but after meeting with Lou’s wide, sad-eyed expression with a small shake of the head, Louis knew he wasn’t there.

“-Tomlinson! Have you heard a word I said?” Louis’ coach suddenly boomed as Louis jumped and nodded quickly, Stan and Andy sneering to Louis’ direction as they poked to Liam’s side and squinted their eyes in mock of his weirdo friend. “Alright, I want no funny business! Get out there and get that last goal, is that understood?”

All boys nodded and gave a short victory shout as they fled back to the field, Louis giving his cleats a short shake to rid them of the mud that had built up as he nodded shortly to Liam before assuming position to middle field. There was something different this half, Louis’ attention again fleeing back to the stands as he searched absently for Harry’s form and Jay’s eyes to watch him again, and found disappointment in both.

It felt as though the tears were going to fall as umbrellas in the stands opened to the rain that began to fall in fat, heavy drops, Louis and the other boys of both teams simply shaking the hair back from their faces and running to their separate plays as the ball was tossed into the ring. Shaking his head to his feet rocketing into action without help from his brain, Louis reveled in the feeling of being numb. After you’d run so far, after you’d traveled for so long, there’s a sense of a cold chill that sweeps your body and clouds your mind from whatever pain or discomfort felt, and it’s as if a drug that numbs the mind to any ill fates. Louis didn’t have to wait for Jay to look up from her stupid personal life that she couldn’t set aside for him, because he knew she wouldn’t. Louis didn’t have to look for Harry because he knew the monster-

“Watch it, Louis!” Stan shouted quickly as Louis watched in dejection of the ball bouncing hard off his shin and rocketing the field to the dense, dark tree line that was just off the side of the field.

To the sound of the whistle, the players all groaned as the referee trotted to Louis and the boy of the other team that had kicked the foul, Andy being pointed over in serving the ball back in as the referee turned to Louis, Louis’ eyes never breaking from the trees.

“You, right? Go in there and retrieve that ball and make it quick, yeah? We’ll pull another from the opposite t’even it up a bit.” With another sharp blow to his whistle and the waving off of a boy in a different colored kit, Louis was hesitant to the shove on his shoulder as his knees began to shake.

“Well go get it then!” Andy demanded as he twirled the replacement ball within his hands, his eyes watching Louis with a sneer fixed to his lips in discontent. “It’s your fault anyways it’s gone in there, so don’t be a little baby!”

“I’m not afraid.” Louis growled as Andy rolled his eyes and began signaling to the other boys, tossing a last nasty look to Louis before kicking the ball back into play, the game whirling on without Louis.

Checking the stands one more time, Louis was amazed at how quickly things would pick up, how it was just unnoticed that he was about to traipse off into the darkening patch of woods by himself in search of a ball, and everything went about normally. He supposed there was truth in Harry’s question of death, because would it really matter? Life would simply go on, but what happens to the person lost in limbo? Did they see the gates of Heaven, or were they simply left to face the demons and the walking dead of the earth, to watch their loved ones love and live without them?

Nearly to the tree line, Louis’ eyes squinted to the dark as he could barely make out the shape of the football tangled in a thick bunch of grasses, his first reaction not his smartest as he wallowed in his self pity and simply dove to retrieve the ball. Before recognizing the almost obsolete black consuming his body and his mind, Louis couldn’t ignore the chill that ran his spine that he _knew_ wasn’t from the cold. Standing with the football pressed tightly to his chest, Louis was paralyzed to the fear of the shape that loomed right before him. It wasn’t so close that he could make out every hair lining it’s tall and stocky body, or count the cracks mounted to the horns that stood as daggers from the crown of greasy, matted hair; yet it was close enough Louis was trapped in the ruby gaze of death and despair.

Louis opened his mouth to scream, yet found if he made sound the monster would lunge, as it had the last time Louis had tried to fight his way from his bedroom. Flinching to the great steam of smoke issuing from the wet snout, Louis watched the eyes flick over him in careful concentration, the irises seeming to expand in size and depth as Louis’ bladder kicked, and he knew he was going to piss himself. _You’re not supposed to hurt me_ , Louis whimpered in his mind as he attempted a step back and froze to the crackle of the dead and rotted branches snapping in half, those eyes seeming to widen and darken in anger from red to a crystalized black that shimmered wetly through the dark.

“I won’t let you have him.” Louis whispered as he choked to his own words, a greater puff of steam rising from the blackened snout as Louis’ inner leg grew warm to the trickle of pee that escaped him to the unhinging and opening of a jaw that was serrated with what looked to be thousands of rows of dulled and rotted, dagger like teeth, a forked tongue flicking and growling wetly from the hollowed throat of the monster that gathered one big breath before releasing a gurgled growl in sign of attacking _prey_.

Hugging the football tighter to his chest, Louis knew if he was going to live he was going to have to run for his life _and_ Harry’s. Without measure of time or exactness of what he was doing, Louis fled, a loud scream of anger mixed to a roar of discontent shaking the trees and rippling the darkness itself at his back as Louis’ cheeks grew wet to the measured grunts that signaled the monster was following, and it wouldn’t stop this time to leave Louis huddling beneath his bed with a few scratches; it wanted _blood_.

This couldn’t be how he died, this couldn’t be! Louis couldn’t be found shredded to death, covered in his own piss near the football pitch after he’d been spaced out all night simply because Harry wasn’t there! And what of Harry? If Louis weren’t around to wipe the darkness from Harry’s cheeks and guide his hand to the good in life, what would happen to him? _He’s mine_ , Louis seemed to scream in his mind as the monster managed to hook a single claw to the back of Louis’ kit shirt before Louis was diving back to the lights of the pitch, the crowd within the stands seeming to stand and scream in joy as Louis chose to keep his face to the cold, wet grass that soothed the sweat from his skin.

Life seemed to grow more complicated each and everyday, and while he was able to raise a hand to Liam’s excitement of their team winning these stupid little trophies at sign of a win, Louis just didn’t give a shit. He’d nearly died going after the spare ball, and they hadn’t needed it anyways! Thinking of rolling to his back, Louis spared a thought to the pee that was still probably littered to his leg as he groaned in embarrassment and tossed the football away in anger, his eyebrows creased in frustration as he felt the tears again well in an overwhelming sense of dread and doom.

“Get up Tomlinson, we won!” Louis’ coached cheered as he began running the field to hug each player, Louis groaning again before rolling to his back and checking the legs of his shorts to make sure he’d not left stain, thankful for once for the dark and dull colors.

With a final look back to the trees that Louis knew housed a monster that most people on the pitch would never be able to dream of, Louis picked himself up went through the motions. He smiled for pictures with the stupid little trophy, and he smiled to Niall and Josh who were still hyper and bouncing about in the stands as Zayn barely met his gaze before crossing his arms and pressing tighter to his mum’s side, as he was only there to cheer _Liam_ on. Avoiding Eleanor’s gaze completely, Louis was lucky that another boy of the opposite team snatched her attention first.

“Look a’that! First goal of the game that won it all!” Mark cheered as he neared, Jay in tow with Lottie tossed on her hip as her other hand still held that damn pager _and_ her attention. “How’s it feel?”

“Feels alright.” Louis shrugged as he stretched the trophy out to Lottie’s wiggling fingers as she traced over the figure atop with careful gaze.

“Just alright? What’s-” Mark paused as he took in the defeated look to Louis’ face and the raw state of his lips, Mark’s forehead crinkling fiercely as he bent to Louis’ level and smoothed the fringe back from his forehead. “Hey, look at me. You alright? You don’t look like you feel too good.”

Louis opened his mouth as he thought of telling Mark what he’d seen, nearly tempted to tell Mark to go have a look for himself, but Louis knew it would do no good. The monster would be gone, and Jay would give him another one of those pills that she’d managed to get more of from the hospital. Chancing a look to Liam and Zayn who were hugging and giggling on their way to Zayn’s mum’s car to go to the village for a sweet and Niall and Josh who were running the pitch with a few other boys from the team, Louis knew he couldn’t because no one else knew or saw the things he had. No one had seen the bad things, the _sinister_ things.

“I thought I saw- I just, I thought Harry would be here.” Louis finished quietly as Jay looked up from her pager before stuffing it to her pocket, a slight roll of the eye the only thing she could offer Louis before she raised a hand before her eyes to shield herself from the field lights that were blinding. Mark’s face settled calmly as if he knew what the entire thing was about, his eyes flying to Louis’ leg quickly before noticing the tiny rip to the back of his kit shirt.

“You just won a game and you’re still on about that? What did you expect, Louis? Stop being silly and lets get home, have a snack and get out of this rain. I’ve got work tomorrow.”

Mark couldn’t help but look to his wife in disbelief over his shoulder as Louis swallowed back the disappointment, again not knowing why he’d expected anything else before Mark was smiling to Tom and Lou who brushed to Louis’ back and gave him pats and ruffles to the hair of encouragement before dashing to Tom’s bike parked in the grass, absolutely soaked.

“D’you think you’ll be able to call your friend? See how he is?” Mark offered gently as Louis’ face lit, his lips pulling gently in thought as he tried to bid his excitement.

“I don’t- well, I think I know where he lives? But I don’t know his telly number or anything.”

“Don’t know his telly number? What kind of friend is this?” Mark laughed as Louis blushed and clutched to the trophy tighter, a thought passing his mind as he followed to Mark’s side in Jay’s frenzy of unlocking and jumping to the car as if water would melt her.

“Since he couldn’t be here, you think he’d take this?” Louis held up the trophy slowly as Mark’s eyebrows climbed his forehead.

“You’d want to give him your trophy?”

“Well, sure? He doesn’t know how to play and I think he really wanted to come.” Louis watched his cleats for a beat before turning wide eyes to Mark, trapping him in. “Please?”

“Well, ask your-” Mark cut short as he grimaced to asking Jay anything at the moment, his hand patting to Louis’ back as they both gave a chuckle and a shared roll of the eyes to Jay’s short honk of the horn. “What’s the address?”

“Dunno, but I know he lives to the first street from the main road to the other side of the thicket.” Mark’s feet seemed to stutter in place as he looked to Louis in disbelief.

“Louis, are you mad? You want to hunt for this little bloke’s house in the _dark_ and you have no idea where we’re going?”

Louis gave a tiny shrug as Mark bit to his bottom lip and sighed to another of Jay’s short honks, righting his back and puffing his chest a bit as he cocked his head to the side and thought of how angry it’d make her, and how Mark would get to escape by simply fleeing to bed.

“I guess I can give it to him another time-”

“We’ll find it.” Louis watched Mark in awe as Mark gave a small wink before nodding to the car, stopping Louis short before digging a towel from the boot and whispering that Louis wipe his leg before again motioning Louis get in.

  
  


“This is bullshit.” Jay hissed as she landed a hand loudly to the dashboard, startling Louis and Lottie both out of their sleep induced hazes that they’d nearly been in. “It’s dark, we can’t just go to this house and say Louis wants to give him the damn thing! They’ll think we’re insane!”

“He wants to give his friend a harmless, little trophy, will you get your knickers out of a twist?” Mark snapped as he swung the car to the street over from their own, Louis sitting a bit straighter to his seat.

“No! I won’t calm down because this is all gone too far! Since when are we making special trips for a boy that’s hardly ever out of the house when he can’t even talk to his own mates that were _there_?”

“Why don’t you just shut up?” Mark finalized as Jay crossed her arms tightly to her chest and snubbed her face to the window, Louis’ head shaking slightly in appreciation of Mark as he now saw him in a completely different light. Louis could remember the divorce and when Mark had first come into his life after his dad had left, Louis had hated the man that was trying to replace his father. But as he grew to love Mark and understand Mark and allow himself be adopted, Louis knew that Mark was the only other sane human being in the entire household.

“Louis do any of these look familiar?” Mark questioned softly as Jay stiffened and sighed loudly in this way that was annoying to everyone as she tried to make sure everyone knew she was pissed off, like all mums did.

“We’ve not come far enough.”

“Let me know when.”

Louis nodded as he watched the huge fronts of the beautiful and elegant homes pass, his eyes boggling to the many windows and the multiple cars parked in driveways as he couldn’t imagine living in a house where the people within weren’t crammed in on top of one another-

“There!” Louis shouted suddenly as Mark stomped on the brake a little too quickly, Lottie’s fit beginning to the interruption of her nap as Jay sighed angrily.

“Louis!”

“This is it!” Louis repeated as he began furiously untangling himself from the seatbelt, Mark slowly pulling the car to sit to idle to the curb before the house as he looked to Louis struggling.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive!” Louis assured in a panic as he managed to free himself and scramble for the door handle in the dark. “I’ll be right back!”

“Louis, get back in here! No, Louis-” Jay called angrily as her voice was cut short to Louis’ slamming of the car door, his kit still wet and clinging to his body in the most uncomfortable of ways as he assessed the house stood and towering before him, the trophy digging to Louis’ opposite palm.

Though he’d never seen the front, Louis knew it was the house. The shape was the same, the elegance was the same, and he thought he could spy what looked to be a nauseating shade of pink bleeding from one of the top windows to the lawn before him. The house was rustic and expensive, and Louis was completely covered head to toe in mud and muck, but he couldn’t stop now and he certainly couldn’t turn back as his finger rose to the doorbell and alarmed the residents within.

Listening to the footfall approaching, Louis held his breath to the body that outlined the glass of the door on the opposite side as the locks were undone and a chain was released, a breath leaving his lips in relief as Anne was quickly stood before him with a look of confusion marring her face.

“Louis?”

“Hi Mrs. Styles, I was wondering if Harry was home?” Anne nodded slightly as she smiled sweetly, her eyes tracing Louis over quickly as she moved a piece of hair fallen from the sloppy up do she kept just around the house.

“I’m sorry love, but I’m afraid Harry’s not feeling very good and I don’t think it’d be wise to disturb him from his sleep.” Louis’ face visibly fell as Anne tried to backpedal and wipe those tears away that were clearly forming to Louis’ tired and fading eyes. “But, I can leave him with a message! Or give him something if you’d like me to?”

“No, I just-” Louis cut short as he looked to the toes of his cleats, ashamed of the disappointment that he knew Anne could see. “I invited Harry to my footie game, and when he didn’t show up I thought I would bring him one of the winning trophies so it was kind of like he didn’t miss it at all?”

Anne’s face turned sickly as she thought of what she could say that wouldn’t bend Louis and break him completely, her eyes fixed to the car idling just to the curb as she sighed and smiled tightly, going completely against her better judgment.

“Will you make it really fast, then? I don’t want him getting wound up-”

“I promise!” Louis answered a little too quickly as Anne jumped before smiling a bit wider, her lips opening to ask Louis to remove his cleats before she found he was already doing so before waiting for her to move aside and invite him in.

“Just be quick-?”

“Promise.” Louis finalized as he smiled to Anne before walking to the warmth within, Anne nearly about to follow and lead him the way before she realized Louis knew his way and didn’t need her.

Clutching tighter to the trophy, Louis’ stomach was bundled nervously without release as he made his way quietly to the stairs, passing Gemma’s room with a grimace and a smile before he looked to Harry’s room, a loud wheezing cough meeting his ears that instantly took him back to the first time he’d seen Harry. Working his socks faster to the carpet, Louis slowly opened Harry’s bedroom door to the faint illumination within, his face sinking and falling sadly as his breath caught.

“Harry?” Louis questioned in a tiny voice as he crept to the bed to stand to Harry’s side, the tears held for what seemed so long with so much care, now freely staining his already tightening skin as Louis was tempted to wail helplessly.

Harry looked small in his bed, the night lamp to the tiny table near his head casting long shadows across Harry’s face and neck as Harry shifted to mention of his name, the sheen of sweat glistening to his skin reading him ancient and crippled. Walking closer, the tip of the trophy bit painfully to his skin as Louis’ eyes were drawn to Harry’s arms laid lazily to top of his unmoved duvet, the sign of exhaustion.

“I’m sorry I was sort of mad at you for not coming.” Louis again whispered as he laid the trophy to one of Harry’s opened hands, his fingers lingering longer than they should have when he noticed them.

All over Harry’s arms were the bruises Louis had caught small glimpses of before, but never like this. They were dark and painful looking and quite literally everywhere, Harry’s milky skin barely visible beneath the splotched tinges of green and blue that registered him a tiny, weak boy that wasn’t able to conjure up a dragon or the galaxies. Louis couldn’t help but whimper, his fingers touching to the hot gatherings of blood to the surface of Harry’s skin as Harry flinched within his sleep as if trying to fight away from something or someone that was in hot pursuit, Louis’ teeth biting hard to his bottom lip until he drew blood as he fought away his anger and despair to place the trophy lightly to Harry’s covered lap.

“Louis, I think that’s enough for one night-” A voice issued softly behind him as Louis spun to Anne’s figure in the doorway, her hands raised gently before her to Louis’ stricken face as she stepped forward cautiously. “Louis? Are you-”

Nearly crawling from his skin, Louis had to get away. Without touching her at all, Louis tore past Anne from Harry’s bedroom as he raced down the hall and tripped down the stairs, Anne running to keep time with Louis’ spooked expression and shaky fingers as she called to him in confusion.

“Louis? What is it? Louis!” Throwing the front door open, Louis collected his cleats and ran the front garden, his socks soaking through completely, but he didn’t have the sense to care; he had to get away.

“Drive!” Louis shouted as he approached the car, the door ripping from his hand as he tossed himself to the backseat next to Lottie and began shouting frantically. “We have to leave! Go!”

“What the hell-”

“Please!” Louis begged as Mark threw the car in drive without further question and swung a u-turn to take them all home, Jay watching to Louis through eyes clouded with embarrassment as Anne was seen silhouetted to the front doorway before she was rushing back to Harry’s room to check that Louis hadn’t done something regrettable. Within the car racing the dark of the moon that was lost to the canopy of trees, Louis felt as if he were going to have a heart attack and simply fall dead.

“Monster.” Lottie whispered gently as Louis’ heart slammed in his chest, Louis looking to Lottie slowly as she pulled her eyes open widely before baring her tiny, stubbed teeth, Louis’ mind flashing back to the last image of Anne stood to Harry’s bedroom doorway; claws sunken to the shoulders of her shirt as two, long cracked horns tilted from the side of her head, accompanied by a long, forked tongue that _licked_ up the side of her neck.

  
  


It was a crazy notion, and he knew it lead to possibility of the monster coming instead, but Louis knew he would freeze all night if that were what it took for Harry to come to him. With the sallow expression of his cheeks and the paleness of his lips, Louis knew this truly was a long shot, but in freezing to the frigid wind that swept his room, he wasn’t going to just give in so easily. Though still warm from his bath, Louis was laid to his side in bed as he clutched to the empty pillow next to him, his thoughts so consumed to the image of little, pale and bruised Harry and his self loathing of actually _pissing_ himself in fright, Louis never noticed the latter stepping over him and flopping down before him until he was staring wide-eyed to the tensed expression of older Harry’s lips and eyes.

“You’d think for someone that just scored one of the winning goals, you’d be a bit more excited.”

“I’m crazy.” Louis explained softly as he sniffled and began to tear again, Harry’s demeanor instantly changing to Louis’ desire of what he needed in that moment.

“You’re not crazy, though-”

“I am, look! You’re not even real and I’m seeking comfort in you! That’s what crazy people do!” Harry flinched as Louis rolled to his other side and buried his face to his pillow, a slight sigh falling from his lips before Harry’s legs were moving to the duvet in his stretch to slam and lock the window shut without his feet ever touching the floor.

“No, crazy people leave the bloody window open during the middle of a freezing rain storm.” Expecting a response, Harry flopped back to the bed before slowly and gently rolling Louis to his other side to again face him. “Don’t be a git about all this, Louis-”

“Why don’t you just leave me alone? You’re just torturing me anyways!” Louis burst as he sat to shove hard to Harry’s broad chest before flopping back to his opposite side, the force of his movement sending the small envelope fluttering from the side table by the head of Louis’ bed spiraling for the floor as Harry looked to it in interest before bending over Louis to snatch it up and rip it open.

“She doesn’t give up, that one.” Harry tutted as he tossed away Eleanor’s birthday party invitation, his large hands again rolling Louis to his side facing him as he lay tightly to Louis’ chest. “Hey, stop crying-”

“You didn’t come.” Louis whimpered suddenly as Harry flinched back before furrowing his eyebrows tightly, his heart breaking to the tears flooding Louis’ cheeks and gathering to the tip of his nose as Harry sought to wipe them away as quickly as he could.

“I couldn’t.” Harry whispered lowly as he moved Louis’ freshly washed and still damp hair back from his forehead, his touch warm and yet cool to Louis’ skin as Louis sniffled loudly in frustration to his weakness.

“What’s wrong with you, Harry? Why are you letting the monster kill you?” Harry seemed to hesitate for a moment as he watched Louis closely, his lips opening and closing again and again before he settled to snuggling tighter to Louis’ front and smoothing his fingers to Louis’ fringe that settled like silk to his hands.

“Have you thought of what I meant when I asked what happens when we die? What you think it’d be like? _Honestly_ thought about it?” Harry quirked his eyebrows slowly though he already knew the answer.

“I don’t understand-”

“Of course you don’t, because you’re young and you’re not supposed to be filled with so much sadness, Jesus Louis!” Harry soothed calmly as his palm cupped to Louis’ cheek with a chuckle. “You’re too young to be so old and withered, what’s broken you down so badly?”

“I’m alone.” Louis breathed as Harry’s eyes settled within his own, his head shaking slightly as he frowned to the pain that ripped through his chest.

“You’re not-”

“I _am_. I have to make you up to be with me because I can’t actually be with the real you, and that makes me alone.” Louis replied stubbornly as Harry bit to his bottom lip and shrugged.

“So you’ve learned to imagine something, why is that bad?”

“Because it’s like I can’t have you.” Louis explained quietly as Harry rolled to his back, his arms tossed above his head in thought as Louis admired the profile of the only person he knew he’d ever love more than life, air and the sunlight itself.

A second wave of subtle heat pooled to the pit of Louis’ stomach as he curled to Harry’s side, Harry’s long, thin arm wrapping protectively around his shoulders as he fought with all of his might to shelter Louis away from the darkness that he knew eventually wouldn’t be kept at bay.

“You’ve _always_ had me.” Harry spoke suddenly, his voice a low rumble like thunder as Louis frowned and try to talk himself from crying again. “You’ll always have me.”

“I wish I could believe you.” Louis replied simply as Harry sighed in defeat, a thought crossing his mind quickly as he scratched to his head to curiousness of the particular thing which was inevitable.

“Have you found out when the first snow will fall?”

“Why is the snow so important?” Louis chimed with a hint of annoyance as Harry shrugged and smiled to the sassy nature that was coming round full circle to one day reign in all of Louis’ glory.

“Dunno really, but I feel like it’s something I shouldn’t forget.” Louis evened his breathing as Harry seemed to fade back to whatever part of his mind sought comfort, Louis’ fingers gripping tightly to Harry’ shirt as if to make him stay just a bit longer as Harry looked to him in understanding of the thought coursing Louis’ mind.

“Will you lay with me?”

“As long as you need me, I’m part of _you_.” Harry explained as he rolled to face Louis again and wasn’t at all surprised to Louis bundling to his chest, Harry’s face pressed tightly to Louis’ hair as he breathed in the scent of the smaller and beautiful Louis he’d always belong to; _his_ little invisible boy.

  
  


⊱⊰


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure because life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all.”

  
  


[Solitude](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARJ3IqnckCk)

 

 

Again passed another week that Louis was without Harry, and each night as he curled hopelessly to his pillow with tears in his eyes and a sob riding the back of his tongue, it never failed to pitch him further from the side to the large hand sliding to his back as older Harry curled to Louis’ frame throughout the night before quietly fading away with the rising, pale Winter sun. Louis could still see and remember everything as if it were still playing as a soundless movie through his mind. The monster nearly shredding him to pieces in the woods near the football pitch, Eleanor’s birthday party invitation fluttering to the floor and Harry’s arms fully clothed in discoloration as his eyes hadn’t had the strength to acknowledge to Louis’ presence, though he’d felt him.

And maybe that’s why Louis was comfortable in the fact that the hole would never truly go away. He was always going to have a certain part of himself that was unfixable, and it was a true tragedy that it had happened so young, but what was there to do about it? Louis was walking through life in a haze, and though he recognized the smiling faces of others, and the comforting and worried touches to his shoulders, Louis knew an inevitable end was drawing near, and it was terrifying! Why was the monster so interested in pursuing him? What did it have to do with Harry, and why was Anne willing to hurt her own child? Louis would never give up on the thought that Anne was the cause of the red-eyed demon; because he knew in his gut the only true way to save Harry was to take him away.

Again Louis was sat in misery, wishing for a few years time added to his life, as he couldn’t seem to crawl from the dissipation of despair that he was mercilessly flung into. Sighing, the rope of the swing didn’t even register to Louis’ skin as his eyes wandered dejectedly back to Harry’s house that lingered again as an airtight fortress through the waving, gray trees. It was pitiful really, to be so consumed in the thoughts of the other that Louis was completely unable to walk home in worry that he’d collapse on his journey. So, he swung.

He could remember the first day the entire chronicle had started, his feet flying before him on the swings at primary as he’d thought of flying away and never looking back without second thought or care. It was obvious Louis couldn’t do that now, and he wasn’t sure if it was for better or for worse. Digging his fingers tighter to the rope and slowly rocking back and forth to the quiet, Louis was instantly aware of the sound of claws to tree bark somewhere over his head as he froze momentarily in fear of what he knew was lurking overhead. A deep, menacing growl seemed to seep down his spine as Louis’ toes barely dug to the leaves rotted beneath as branches and leaves shattered and fell around him as snow.

Widening his eyes, Louis slowly turned his head toward the direction he came in assessment if he thought he could truly make it, his heart beginning to beat a slight bit faster before he saw him, a smile crawling to his lips. Older Harry was stood against a tree with his long legs strode before him as he raised a lit match to the cigarette balanced between his lips, his eyes dark and wandering as a large plume of smoke issued before his nose. He almost looked like a statue as his ears perked to the monster that was quickly scaling the tree directly for him when in a fleeting moment, Harry was turned with a large, shining sword held to his hands and fighting away the blackened smidge of night walking amongst the day, the cigarette never falling away from his lips.

Swallowing with a slight frown, Louis watched as both his knight in armor and his worst nightmare tumbled and bled through the leaves before they were melted away to an abstract ray of light fleeing through a break in the clouds overhead, a chill licking down Louis’ spine as he again flicked his eyes to Harry’s house one last time before running for home.

  
  


It’d been a while since Louis and Harry’s stunt at primary had been pulled, and yet walking home one day, Louis knew he would never see Mrs. Austin in her prime again, and it was weird. It was weird to suddenly have her fly to the front of his mind, but he couldn’t help the way his skin seemed to crawl to the doubtful and discomforted look she’d given him that day in walking her class to the busses before quietly turning back into the building in a way she never had before. Caught in his thoughts, Louis found himself again balancing to the grassy lane in the middle of the road as it quickly fell away into the image of a tightrope balanced and strung between two cliffs, the entire image having a new sort of significance in his mind, though Louis wasn’t sure what of.

Mrs. Austin wasn’t the same, she was conflicted and dark, as if her light had burnt out the day Louis had watched her rudely be turned away at the door, her forehead lay to her steering wheel as she’d tried to find the strength to drive home. Arms stretched from his sides, it was weird to Louis to think that there was a possibility that other people were broken in the same way he was.

“-Louis? This weekend!” Niall shouted suddenly as Louis raised his head in time to make out another body to the opposite cliff, his heart fluttering timely in response as a wild head of curls became more apparent.

“Harry!”

“Hi-”

“Here we go.” Zayn snapped as Louis forgot to the ocean licking up the cliff walls beneath as he broke into a run before flinging himself to Harry’s chest, Harry’s slight chuckle meeting Louis’ neck warmly as his tiny arms strained around Louis’ waist.

“You alright?”

“Are _you_ alright? The last time I saw you-” Louis pulled back quickly with a wide smile on his face as he hesitated to Harry’s look of warning, his fingers still gripping tightly to Harry’s shoulders as he again forgot everything and tossed himself to Harry’s front. “I’m glad you’re back!”

“Well, I never really left.” Harry laughed, as he looked over Louis’ shoulder to wave to the other boys that walked toward them awkwardly, Niall’s face oblivious and rosy in the cold.

“Where’ve you been then? Imagine we’re about to plan something for this weekend and you’re welcome to come along!” Josh and Liam nodded with smiles as Zayn nearly shit himself, his eyes growing wide in annoyance as Louis nodded in encouragement before laughing breathlessly.

“It could be fun!”

“It means we’d actually get to spend a weekend with Louis for once.” Liam cut in with a sharp tilt of his eyebrows as Louis’ fingers traced softly down Harry’s spine.

“You see me everyday-”

“You’re never there, though.” Zayn cut in rudely as his jaw flexed, Liam looking between them both squaring off awkwardly before he was lacing his fingers slowly to Zayn’s, giving a slight tug to his arm.

“It was only a suggestion-”

“You need to come, Harry! I’ve learned how to make up things and everything!” Niall boasted as Zayn rolled his eyes to Niall’s moronic behavior, taking quickly to Liam’s lead as he nearly drug Liam away, Harry staring after him in wide confusion before looking to Louis who shook his head in annoyance.

“Well, I could ask my mum? I dunno what she’d say, but it doesn’t hurt?”

“Brilliant.” Josh nodded in approval as he lightly bumped Harry’s arm, Louis watching closely as Harry smiled through the tiny wince that was nearly un-captured.

“Louis, you coming round later? Think we’re all going to mine, and Harry can come as well!” Niall added around a mouthful of crisps he’d pulled from his rucksack as Louis shrugged.

“Maybe, depends on what’s new in the Styles house?” Harry snorted in amusement.

“There’s never anything new going on in the Styles house.”

“Wish it was the same in the Horan household.” Josh mumbled as Niall smacked him and instantly began to pout, Josh patting to Louis’ bum as he passed before darting to Liam and Zayn who were walking a bit slower in wait.

“See ya Harry, Louis!”

“Bye.” Louis rolled his eyes to Niall’s obnoxious wink as Harry threaded their fingers together, a sly smile planted to his lips before he turned them toward the thicket, his feet unsteady in the soft silt as Louis clutched to the back of his jumper. “Harry-? You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Harry brushed off as he frowned and seemed to right himself, his fingers tightening around Louis’ as he soon surged forward with Louis in tow. “D’you think they’d actually want me to come round this weekend?”

“Of course.” Louis comforted as he thought of Zayn and immediately rolled his eyes, his free hand smacking away the tall grasses that wound his legs and forced to trip him up.

“I meant to say, I’m sorry I couldn’t come watch you play.” Harry seemed to mumble suddenly as he and Louis started for the clearing that Louis knew would come entirely too soon, the prospect of the monster lurking nearby causing his heart to start a bit faster as he bit to his bottom lip and shrugged to Harry’s searching and wary gaze. “I feel awful that you came to give me _your_ trophy, and I wasn’t even awake.”

“You don’t have to feel awful, just tell me you’re okay.” Louis replied sternly as he squeezed to Harry’s hand, Harry looking to him with a twinkle in his eye as he shrugged and let his tongue pass slowly to his bottom lip.

“I’m better _now_.”

Louis blushed slightly as Harry giggled loudly before his feet were rushing beneath him, his fingers slipping from Louis’ quickly as Louis watched Harry burst to the clearing before he was circling to something small and odd sticking from the ground, Louis picking up his pace just a bit in time to allow for the smile that nearly strangled his cheeks in forcefulness.

“My tree?”

“I told you I planted it, but it seemed like we’ve never had time to properly admire it!” Harry burst happily as he flicked to the still, single leaf that swung from a tiny, frail branch. “I think it’s happy here!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s with all the other trees!” Harry seemed to take to a burst of energy as he again began spinning about, Louis’ eyes tracing the windows of the house as he felt a sense of relief wash his body to the window and shades that were accepting of the light on that day.

“I’d nearly forgotten about it.” Louis lied as he quirked his lips to his secret of not telling that he’d seen it, and he knew.

“’M hungry!” Harry burst suddenly as he jumped to Louis’ chest, Louis’ arms instinctively wrapping tightly to Harry’s middle as he laughed loudly to the oddly upbeat nature. “Come on, mum’s been to the shop and everything!”

“Is it alright, though?” Louis questioned warily as Harry fixed him to a peculiar look.

“Of course, why would she care?”

Louis shrugged it off as he smiled encouragingly and followed to Harry’s leading up the back stairs, the kitchen door seeming to fling from his hands to fly into the opposite wall as Gemma nearly leapt from her skin as she stood to the kitchen counter eating a bowl of cereal and flipping through a tween magazine.

“Harry! You know you’re not supposed to slam the door!”

“Go bother someone else!” Harry instructed as he stuck his tongue out to Gemma’s direction, Gemma rolling her eyes widely as she raised a hand slowly to Louis in greeting before snatching up her things and moving to the front room, Harry smiling devilishly to Louis as he began his climb to the countertop to rifle through the taller cabinets. “Louis, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” Louis replied simply as he clambered to a tall chair at the counter with a toss of his knapsack to the floor beside him, Harry looking to him tightly over his shoulder as he squinted his eyes.

“Why are you lying?”

“I’m-”

“Why are _you_ on my counters with your dirty feet? Get!” A voice instructed sharply from behind Louis as he spun quickly and smiled to Anne’s pat to his head, her fingers snapping together loudly as she fixed Harry to a dangerous look.

“I was only looking for something to eat, mum! I’m starving!”

“All you had to do was ask, not take a climbing adventure.” Anne muttered as she playfully swatted to Harry’s bum as he nearly crashed to the floor and scrambled up to the seat next to Louis, his fingers digging to Louis’ arm excitedly as Louis smiled to Harry’s tiny cheeks that were now risen and beautiful of color again. In looking to the little Harry, Louis couldn’t help but see the traces of the older Harry that were hidden within and destined to come out and break hearts. “How are you Louis, darling? You seemed spooked the other night you were here.”

“I’m alright, it was just a long night.” Louis apologized gently as Harry’s face took an odd look, his eyes searching to Louis’ face as he crinkled his nose in question. “I was just- I dunno.”

“Maybe tired?” Anne hinted as Louis nodded and pushed Harry’s fingers away from his face, Harry’s expression growing frustrated as he wanted Anne to just make something to eat then leave so he could interrogate Louis properly, Anne shuffling about from the cupboard and refrigerator busily and obliviously. “How about beans and toast then? Side of vegetables for you, Harry.”

“That’s fine-”

“Mum, no! I don’t want the vegetables!” Harry whined instantly as Louis fought to stifle his laughter, the flick of a tail and a slinking, lithe body catching his eye as he looked to Ginger, his mind swirling to the fact he’d not seen her for a while.

“Hello.” Louis called gently as Ginger’s ears perked and her eyes looked him over carefully, her tail raising a bit higher as she walked towards Louis’ outstretched hand before changing her mind at the last second and turning her nose up at his friendship. “Well, be like that then!”

“She’s been cranky lately.” Harry explained as Ginger seemed to look to him in disbelief, his eyes instantly crossing in mock as Ginger curled to Anne’s feet in seeming to ask permission to put the boys back outside.

“She’s just a prissy thing, like most cats.” Anne laughed as she busied herself to the food warming and being tossed about before her, Louis settling to Harry’s soft touch to his side as Harry’s nose pressed to his cheek.

“You saw something.” Harry whispered as he leaned back, Louis watching Anne’s back quietly as Anne began to hum, his head nodding slowly as Harry’s gut clenched. “Was it-”

“I thought you said it would go away.” Louis hissed suddenly as he fixed wide, panicked eyes to Harry, his attention never straying to the slight dark of the hallway where he knew if he looked too hard, he would find what he didn’t want to see.

“But, I did!” Harry seemed to growl as he raked his fingers through his hair, Louis watching dejectedly as Ginger jumped to the chair to Harry’s other side as she began licking her paw. “I don’t understand.”

“Understand what?” Anne chirped as she turned and set two plates before Louis and Harry, Harry’s face instantly crinkling in disgust to the large mound of vegetables sat to his plate as Anne gently shooed Ginger back to the floor.

“The vegetables!”

“Thank you.” Louis chuckled as Anne rolled her eyes and wiped her hands to the front of her trousers.

“Just eat them, it’ll be good for you.”

“Dunno how.” Harry mumbled as Louis began eating quietly, his eyes never leaving Harry’s fingers picking at the vegetables as he quirked an eyebrow to Ginger sat below, watching quietly. Waiting for the inevitable, Louis munched to the toast growing cold in his hands as Harry picked up a large piece of raw broccoli and tossed it to the floor space before Ginger.

Bracing themselves, Louis and Harry looked to Anne’s turned back quickly before Harry was stuffing beans excitedly to his mouth, Ginger looking back to him in an air of arrogance littered within her large, marbled eyes as they seemed to give a slight roll of annoyance before Ginger was flicking the offending vegetable to her mouth. Louis gripped to Harry’s arm as Harry began to giggle, both boys watching as Ginger’s jaw moved slowly as she crushed the vegetable between her teeth, an air of anticipation seeming to stem between them as Ginger’s ears flicked to the horrible mistake she’d made.

Ginger’s back seemed to bristle as she looked between Louis and Harry in disbelief before she promptly hacked the vegetable back up on the floor as loudly as she possibly could before stalking angrily away, Anne turning from the counter dangerously to fix Harry within her sight as Harry gave a shrug of innocence.

“I’ve told you not to feed her-”

“Mum, I think she’s just sensitive.” Harry explained calmly as Anne rolled her eyes and snatched a roll of paper towels to clean up the mess, Harry stuffing the rest of the toast in his mouth as Louis began picking the leftover beans from his plate and popping them into his mouth. “But, I was invited out to play this weekend by Louis’ mates and I told them I’d ask you first.”

Louis held his breath as Anne cleaned the mess and stood, her eyes fixed first to Harry before sliding to Louis as Louis shivered to the chill crawling down his back.

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea-”

“Mum! Why not?” Harry demanded instantly as Anne tossed the mess and began washing her hands, her eyes fixed out the kitchen window as she sighed.

“You know _exactly_ why, and I won’t bargain.”

“It’s fine, I could just come here.” Louis insisted quickly as Harry turned disbelieving eyes toward him.

“No! You can’t just stop playing with the other boys because I’m always locked up! Mum, you’re not being fair!” Anne turned quickly to Harry as she wiped her hands, her head shaking quickly as her forehead drew serious.

“I’ve given my answer, and I’ll expect you to not sneak away or I’ll keep you home again as punishment-”

“Why am I not allowed to play?” Harry demanded as Louis lay a hand to his arm in comfort, Harry looking to him in desperation before his eyebrows were drawn thickly in cross fashion.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea-”

“Harry, really I don’t mind.” Louis insisted quietly as Harry shook Louis away.

“Then they’ll come here!” Anne’s face twisted in confusion as Harry seemed to light back up to his genius plan, Louis’ eyes widening to the thought of what Harry had remembered that it seemed Louis had forgotten as well. “The other boys have these things called- what are they called?”

“Sleepovers?” Louis offered to Harry’s torn expression before he was smiling to Harry’s quick clap of his hands and his near bouncing from his seat.

“Yeah, a sleepover! The boys come here and I’m still with them, but I’m not leaving the house!” Harry’s hands smacked to the counter in excitement as he looked to Louis with a wide smile. “And you’ll get to spend the weekend with all of us!”

“Harry,” Anne warned gently as she stood to the opposite side of the counter, her hands splayed before her as she watched Harry’s face take on the air of recognition that she was about to say no, her stomach twisting sickly to the thick well of tears brimming to Harry’s eyes. “I’m not sure! I don’t even know their parents, and how do you know they’ll even agree?”

“I could ask?” Louis offered calmly as Anne’s attention focused to him dangerously, Louis instantly flinching away to the hint of red tingeing the inky black of her irises again as Harry gripped tightly to his arm.

“Louis knows where they all live, and we could go ask together!” Harry burst as he nearly slipped from his seat, Louis managing to swallow thickly to Anne’s face that seemed to dawn to a sinister recognition.

“If I were to agree-”

“Then you would be the best mum in the world!” Harry crowed as he raised his arms above his head, Anne’s expression seeming to crumble before Louis’ eyes as he too looked to Harry’s excitement, rosy cheeks that he knew if he were in Anne’s position, he wouldn’t be able to resist either. “Please, mum? Please!”

“You’d have to get permission from the other parents,” Anne hesitated as Harry began to bounce to his seat, Louis’ eyes widening to the thought of having to sleep an entire night under the same roof that the monster made lair as his stomach began to churn sickly. “Harry, I haven’t said yes! I’m just saying you’ll need the other parent’s permissions and then I’d have to run to the shop and buy more food-”

“Mum, you won’t regret it!” Harry shouted as he leapt from his chair and bounced the entire distance around the counter to cling around Anne’s neck, Anne giving a sigh of defeat as she picked Harry from the ground and cuddled him tightly to her chest, her cheek pressed to the head of curls she’d always wanted to cut as she nodded.

“I’ll expect no torturing of Gemma, either-”

“What’s going on?” A voice snapped from behind Louis as he turned to her with a slight smile, Gemma’s eyes widening to what she suspected was going on, but didn’t want to believe. “What did you do?”

“I’m having a sleepover!” Harry announced loudly as Gemma grew panicked before settling.

“Louis’ over here all the time anyways, might as well move in.”

“Well he won’t be the only one here!” Harry quipped as Gemma raised her eyebrows quickly, nearly losing them in her hairline.

“Mum, you’re going to have a pack of boys _here_?” Anne shrugged as she opened her mouth to explain before Gemma was shouting angrily to her stomping up the stairs. “Unbelievable! As if everything isn’t about _him_ anyways!”

“She’s so stupid.” Harry complained happily as he wiggled from Anne’s arms to cross the counter back to Louis, offering his hand sweetly as Louis laced their fingers together and hopped to his feet with the shrugging of his knapsack to his back, Anne stacking their plates slowly before looking to Harry in annoyance at the fact that his vegetables were still in place. “C’mon, we’ve got to go tell the others!”

“Right-”

“Not for you, Harry.” Anne spoke up as she looked to Harry and immediately silenced his impending begging and pleading with a simple look and a tightening of her lips. “Louis knows where they live, let him do it.”

“But, it’s _my_ sleepover.” Harry demanded as Louis watched Anne’s eyes again flicker to recognition of red.

“It’ll be fine.” Louis soothed as he spun Harry tightly to his front and wrapped him within his arms, Harry’s hands balling to fists against Louis’ stomach as a grumble started within his chest. “I’ll go right now and let them know.”

“But you shouldn’t _have_ to.” Harry complained as Anne watched Louis carefully about her shoulder from the sink.

“I don’t mind.” Louis fought to lock Harry’s gaze to his own as he leaned forward to press their cheeks together. “I’ll be with you all day, I don’t mind.”

“Promise?” Harry questioned gently as Louis smiled hopefully, his mind seeming to wipe of fear to the small and gentle boy stood before him, watching tiredly through drooping eyelids.

“Promise.” Harry nodded quickly as he strangled Louis around the neck, Louis pressing his nose to Harry’s hair as he breathed in deeply to the smell he knew he’d have to last the rest of the week without. “Bye Mrs. Styles.”

“Bye Louis, I suppose we’ll see you soon!” Louis nodded to his further guess, as before there was the word of soon, _rather_ than tomorrow.

Nearly having to fight Harry from his grip, Louis was sad in allowing himself out the back door as he heard faint issues of Harry’s crying to his leaving, Louis’ stomach still in tangles to the bread and beans that refused to settle to the exciting thought of being with Harry again for a night, yet at the same time the danger of lurking to the monster’s lair. He was crazy and somehow he knew it, but Louis also knew he would do anything to spend time with Harry because he craved it.

Crashing through the clearing and the walk through the trees to break to the main road, Louis shrugged the collar of his coat up his neck to the cold rain slicking to his skin as he ran through the rain, his knapsack smacking to his back with each pound of his feet to the road, but he didn’t mind. Turning for Niall’s house, Louis felt the excitement overshadow the fear as he knocked quickly and listened for the smacking of feet that told of Niall’s excited shout.

“Louis? My lad?” Smiling to the door being ripped away, Louis wasn’t surprised to nearly be yanked in by the neck as Liam waved from around the doorway of the front room, Louis managing to shove Niall off of him as Josh passed through from the toilet.

“I have something to tell you guys!”

“Come in and have a sit and watch the footie game!” Josh instructed as Louis shook his head.

“My mum- just, Harry’s gone and invited us all over!” Niall’s hand paused in its venture to his mouth as Liam and Josh stepped fully from the front room to the entrance hall, Zayn looking on disinterestedly from around the doorframe. “He’s asked his mum to have a sleepover and she said yes, and Harry wants all of us to come and it’d be around this weekend? It’ll be his first-”

“He’s never had a sleepover before?” Liam questioned incredulously as Josh scoffed, Zayn rolling his eyes to the thought as he opened his mouth to shoot down the stupid idea before he was nearly falling over. “I’ll come then, yeah! It could be so much fun, like the last time!”

“My mum won’t have a problem with it!”

“My mum would be glad to be rid of me.” Niall offered as well as Josh nodded and rolled his eyes, looking to the stolen bag of crisps laying near Niall’s feet as he sighed and made his way for the kitchen.

“Liam, you’re not seriously going!” Zayn exploded suddenly as all eyes turned to him, Zayn’s daft expression concentrated to Liam’s innocent gaze as Liam shrugged.

“Why not?”

“I just- I dunno? _Why_?”

“ _You_ don’t have to come.” Louis barked to Zayn’s snippy attitude as Zayn righted himself and stood slightly apart from the doorway.

“I wouldn’t come for you _or_ Harry!”

“Zayn!” Niall snapped as Zayn shrugged to the agitation rising on Louis’ face, Liam looking to Zayn in dismay as Louis spun to his heel and ripped the front door from his way, a final thought passed over his shoulder before he was again streaking off to the rain.

“Whether you come or not, I’ll be with Harry which is more of where I’d like to be _now_ than ever once being with _you_.”

  
  


As the weekend drew near, Louis knew whether the other boys came or not, _he_ wasn’t going to miss opportunity to spend so much time with Harry, Zayn’s stupid attitude be damned. Louis didn’t need him there, and he certainly didn’t want Zayn to come if Zayn was only going to make it miserable for Harry to play and be happy. Presently, as Louis stood before the front door with an overnight bag in hand, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes to Jay’s worrying.

“-Are you listening?”

“Yes, mum!” Louis whined as he turned again for the door before Jay was spinning him back to face her while she worried over Louis’ messy, bed-tossed hair. “Can I go now?”

“Louis, just be patient! I want to make sure I’ll know where you are-”

“You’ve seen the house already, and I know the home number!” Louis snipped as he pushed Jay’s hands away and wrenched for the doorknob, Lottie’s squeal of excitement from the front room over a show that came on the television further propelling Louis from Jay’s grip as Jay sighed.

“Well, don’t act so excited to get away!”

“Mum, I’m going to be late!” Louis managed as he escaped Jay’s reaching again, the door opening directly to his shin as Louis sucked his lips tightly between his teeth and hobbled to the front steps.

“Louis, I’m just not sure-”

“Bye!” Louis called in finality as he clutched to his shin before skipping down the front walk across the garden, Jay leaning to her hip within the doorway as she watched Louis begin down the road.

“I love you! If you need anything, phone?” Louis raised a hand quietly over his shoulder as he shrugged his overnight bag up the opposite arm and watched his feet thread quietly to the ground before him that seemed to encourage him on to Harry’s house that sat in wait. “Louis, be good!”

Sighing to the embarrassment of Jay’s shout falling to the ears of the other neighbors that were stood around packing their cars for a weekend in the city, Louis was nearly running by the time he hit the main road as he managed to twist from sight, his feet faltering slightly to an upraised root to the patch of grass to the center lane before he was met with Niall’s obnoxious laughter. Raising his eyes timidly, Louis smiled tightly to the group stood around waiting to where they’d seen Louis disappear to many times as Niall shoved to Josh before he was shouting angrily to his pack of crisps spilling all over the road beneath.

“Josh!”

“I’m sorry! I’ll get you another!” Louis shook his head in amusement to Niall’s face shading slightly red in disbelief as Josh threaded their arms together, his fingers ruffling Niall’s hair wildly as Liam turned in time to Louis’ approach.

“Louis! We thought we’d wait for you to go in!”

“So everyone’s parents said it was alright then?” Louis hinted as he looked to Zayn’s sulking figure that further stiffened as Louis stopped to the group that rolled their eyes in unison.

“We’ve all even come with our own little call cards.” Niall sighed as he proudly showed the small slip of paper with his mothers name, mobile, street address and home phone.

“Well I’m glad my mum wasn’t the only one being mad this morning.” Louis mumbled as he looked to the other boys sagging beneath the weight of their bags before Louis gestured with his head toward his worn path. “Come on, then.”

“Josh, I’ll never speak to you again.” Niall snipped as he followed closely to Louis’ back, Josh following as well with a loud sigh as Liam pulled to Zayn arm.

“Come on, Zayn.”

“Liam, this doesn’t feel right. It all feels a bit funny-”

“Then why did you come?” Liam questioned quietly as Zayn’s feet began to drag at Liam’s persistence that he follow and keep up to the rest of the group.

“For you.” Zayn insisted gently as he averted his eyes to Liam’s sweet look, Louis smacking away Niall’s hand from a thistle from the head of the line as he grimaced to the thought of Niall’s groaning.

“It only looks pretty!”

“What is it?”

“I think Tom called them thistles? Dunno really, but they hurt if you get stuck.” Louis shrugged in thought to his long healed palm as Liam again tugged Zayn forward, the boys taking a moment to walk in silence before they were passing quietly through the place of the swing that was blowing gently in the breeze of the cold midmorning.

“This Harrys?” Josh questioned as Louis nodded absently, thinking back to the other day when he’d watched older Harry fight away the monster when a plume of smoke billowing from about the trunk of a tree caught his attention and raised a smile to his lips.

“Everything around here is Harry’s.” Louis replied thoughtfully as the boys trekked through to the clearing where Harry was sat in waiting, his lips pulling quickly in excitement as his cheeks dented.

“Louis! Hi lads!”

“There he is!” Niall shouted happily as he and Louis surged to the front, Liam still dragging Zayn in tow as he waved sweetly.

“Hi Harry!”

Harry was drawn to Louis as he tangled their arms together, Louis joining to Harry’s instant giggling of happiness as they rocked and swayed to the other in the prospect that they had the entire day to tire the other one out. Looking to Zayn from the corner of his eye, Louis knew he was going to have keep his place between Zayn and Harry, as he immediately read the brooding expression planted to Zayn’s face as he sighed to their standing around in the cold.

“Well come on then! I cleaned my room and everything!” Harry crowed happily as he placed his palm warmly to Louis’, Louis snatching their fingers together as the other boys weren’t ignorant to the action, yet chose to follow with frosty smiles and red tipped ears as they clomped loudly up the back stairs to the deck as the kitchen door was opened to Anne’s smiling, and yet wary expression.

“Hello!”

“Everyone, this is my mum!” Harry chirped as he managed to squeeze past, Louis smiling to Anne happily as the other boys followed suit and handed over their slips of paper, Anne’s cheeks lifting in amusement.

“I’ll be your cook this evening.” Anne joked as Niall froze in his step, causing Josh, Liam and Zayn to run into the other.

“You’re serious?” Niall questioned quietly as Anne nodded with a smile, Josh rolling his eyes as he pushed to Niall’s back to get him to follow Harry and Louis that were already dashing up the stairs.

“You’re the big eater, aren’t you?”

“Depends.” Niall puffed his chest a bit as Liam and Zayn scoffed loudly.

“Depends on _if_ there’s food.” Zayn supplied in a snarky manner as Niall turned and stuck his tongue out, Anne laughing gently as she ushered them inside and up the stairs, all boys eventually making their way to Harry’s room as Josh gave a low whistle.

“Your room is twice the size of mine, mate.”

“Isn’t it amazing?” Louis gushed as he laid his bag next to Harry’s bed, Harry pulling a face quickly as he pushed to Louis’ side.

“’S just a bedroom.”

“Hey! Louis, isn’t this the trophy we won for our game?” Liam called suddenly as Louis and Harry spun to Liam’s finger poking to the trophy that was proudly displayed to a shelf on the wall.

“Yeah, I gave it to Harry since he couldn’t come.” Louis shrugged as Liam smiled to the sweet thought, Zayn nearly about to gag as Harry bounced to the balls of his feet excitedly to so many people over at his house at once.

“I have a place we could go play!” Harry announced suddenly as everyone in the room seemed to jump in unison before giggling to how chicken the other was. “It’s over this little bridge by a river-”

“I think I’ll stay here.” Zayn cut in as his face fell flat, Harry’s lips faltering as he began to backpedal before there was a sharp knock at his opened door, all eyes turning to Gemma as she crossed her arms tightly before her chest.

“Listen you little slimes, don’t come in my room and don’t keep me up all night, yeah? I have things to do tomorrow and I can’t have bags beneath my eyes.” Harry rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance, pressing his side tightly to Louis’ as he fixed Gemma to a look.

“You’re only ten, it’s not like you have a date-”

“Just don’t come in my room!” Gemma demanded as she pointed a finger in Harry’s direction dangerously, Louis watching as Ginger twisted to Gemma’s leg slowly before she was crossing into the room to sniff to the trouser legs of the other boys.

“No one wants to come into your stupid, pink retch room!” Harry shouted as he surged forward and began to push Gemma away, Gemma managing a smack to the back of his head before she and Harry were tearing down the hallway and smacking to one another.

“Sisters are the worst.” Niall stated as he squatted to dig through his bag, a pack of crisps coming away in his hands as he looked to Josh from the corner of his eye. “Don’t knock this one away.”

“I said I was sorry!” Josh snipped as he let his fingers travel longly to Ginger’s back as she arched in appreciation to the touch.

“So we’re going to sit around all day in the house?” Zayn questioned in a bored tone as Liam dug his fingers to his side, Louis fixing him to a nasty look as Zayn bore back.

“Why are you being so miserable? You’ve been rude for weeks without reason.”

“ _Without_ reason?” Zayn snapped as he nearly lost his head, the color rising up his neck before he was growing silent to Harry’s re-entrance to the bedroom with his hair a bigger mess than before and his jumper hung crookedly from his shoulders.

“So, I have a place we could go play.” Harry hinted with a rising of his eyebrows as Niall ripped open the crisps package and stuffed his mouth full, Liam nodding in encouragement as he gripped tightly to Zayn’s arm with enthusiasm.

“Can we not go back to that crazy bird’s house though? What was her name?” Josh shuddered as Louis rolled his eyes, Harry tipping his head back to laugh loudly as he began riffling under his bed with his bum stuck high in the air.

“Taylor! And we’ll only have to pass her house!”

“Cheers to that!” Niall shouted as he shoved a crisp to Josh’s opened mouth, Louis’ attention temporarily distracted to Harry’s bum wiggling about before he quickly looked away with a blush creeping to his cheeks.

“I don’t want to.” Zayn hissed to Liam’s neck as Liam fixed him within an exasperated look.

“Then why did you come, Zayn? Honestly.”

“I told you, I came for you.” Zayn relied yet again as he crossed his arms again firmly, Liam sucking one corner of his mouth to his teeth as Harry popped up from beneath his bed with the crown Louis had made him strung around his wrist and a smile to his face.

“Alright?” Harry questioned sweetly to Zayn’s direction as Zayn nodded curtly and shifted further to Liam’s side, Louis casting him a dark look angrily before Harry’s fingers to his own eased away his discomfort, Niall slamming to Louis’ back as his arms crossed around Louis’ shoulders in hoisting himself up.

“Lets go then, you mums! Had me snacks, ready to make some magic!”

“Like the last time?” Josh sighed in exasperation as Niall stuck his tongue out with a scrunched expression, Louis’ eyes widening as Harry began the venture down the hallway and the stairs.

“You’re not allowed to try and make things up! You nearly killed us all the last time!” Louis exploded as Niall rolled his eyes and smirked to the over dramatics.

“I did not-”

“You put us in a giant sink hole!” Liam called from the back of the line as Harry turned at the kitchen door with wide eyes fixed to Niall’s blushing cheeks.

“You made a sink hole?”

“Well, we were all muddy and it just fit, y’know?”

“Bloody wicked!” Harry encouraged as Louis immediately smacked his side, Harry giggling wildly as Anne poked her head round the kitchen doorway from the front room.

“Boys, be back before dark, yeah?”

“Mum!” Harry complained as he fixed Anne to a stern look as he allowed the other boys pass him by to the deck, Anne raising her eyebrows quickly as she motioned Harry closer, Harry’s feet dragging all the while as Anne’s finger poked to his chest.

“And no talk of that damn monster, alright? It’s all I need is to call a bunch of other mums because my son has scared theirs into night terrors.”

“If it shows itself, I can’t do anything about it!” Harry snapped as he headed for the kitchen door, Anne giving a small stamp of her foot as Harry looked to her with a wilted expression and a sigh, the crown still strung around his wrist catching a hint of the light from beyond the door as he nodded and bowed his head until he was stood to the deck overlooking the boys running about the clearing below.

Slamming the kitchen door despite the fact he knew his mum would hate it, Harry watched Niall and Josh leap to one another’s back as Liam and Louis giggled over Louis’ tree, Harry’s chest catching oddly to the sight of Zayn stood off to the side with his arms still crossed and his gaze focused solely to Harry’s gait. Smiling in encouragement, Harry hopped to the stairs happily until his feet were sinking to the soft soil and leaves as he motioned to Louis that he was ready to go, Liam giving a shove to the back of Niall’s shoulders as Niall and Josh tumbled to the ground in a conjoined grunt.

“You’re the worst!” Niall called from beneath Josh’s body weight as Louis joined to Harry’s side, his gentle laughing rising a light to Harry’s chest that peeled to his skin with an outer glow as he began plucking little, frozen flowers in the boy’s downhill decent toward uncharted and dangerous territory.

“Please be happy.” Liam begged Zayn gently as he squeezed to Zayn’s hand, Zayn looking to Liam through the frost and dimmed light fighting through the haze of clouds overhead as he shrugged and willed himself to not steal Liam away back to the house and cuddle up and forget the awful feeling he had.

“Spill my crisps and then fall on my head! Some best mate you are!” Niall burst as he rushed to stand amidst the easy moving group, Josh bringing up the rear as he cackled loudly and tossed his arms over his head.

“You’re just so hard to please!”

“I just ask that you feed me, s’all!” Niall shot back as Harry snorted and again bent quickly to pluck to little flowers that he began tying in a ring, Louis watching him curiously. “Say, what ever came of you sneaking to our primary, Harry?”

“Nothing?” Harry shrugged as he looked to Niall over his shoulder with a shit-eating grin splayed proudly. “My gran was watching me that day and fell asleep, so I thought I’d surprise Louis!”

“By hiding in the toilets.” Louis tossed as Harry bumped their shoulders together hard, Louis giving a tiny laugh of appreciation as Niall rounded between the two of them and slung his arms round their shoulders.

“You should’ve seen Louis’ teacher’s face though! She was horrified and even went running after you in those shoes-”

“Came back limping though!” Liam offered as Zayn snorted to the image of how hilarious it had been to the sight of her sopping wet leg, because he’d known exactly what she’d done.

“She didn’t catch us though, and then Louis found a little hill that overlooked the village.” Harry sighed dreamily as Niall nodded quickly in appreciation.

“We’ve been going to that hill since we all started primary together! Best place on the entire lot.”

“Hey, where’s the crazy girl’s house again?” Josh questioned quickly as he passed up Zayn and Liam to walk to Louis’ side, Louis looking slowly around Niall as Harry was just again standing to thread more flowers together in what looked to be a wild headdress.

“You’ll know.”

Louis eyebrows knitted in confusion as did Niall’s as they looked to the other, their footfall all growing short as they took notice to Harry’s attention still consumed to the flowers he was weaving together, his feet and legs seeming to be swallowed entirely by a thick, dark fog that reminded them of a time they’d seen before.

“I don’t like this.” Liam whispered somewhere behind Louis as Louis surged forward to snatch Harry by the back of the jumper, Harry’s head snapping up as a slight glint of a slash of sunlight rimmed the green of his eyes before his lips were quirking in amusement.

“The witch must be out.” Harry answered simply as he fled the flower crown to his arm to hang with the other, his hand gripping lightly around Louis as he suddenly squatted and gestured to the other boys to do the same.

“Harry, you sure this spot is worth getting to?” Josh questioned timidly as Harry began nodding his head so quickly, Louis was afraid it was going to come clean off.

“It’s really cool, _this_ is the only problem.”

Louis watched Harry’s face cross in thought as his eyes were drawn to the land beneath his feet that seemed to dry and shrivel to the gray and murky coloring that fell between the trees, any trace of the sun completely gone now as the fog grew thick and choking. Louis squeezed a bit tighter to Harry’s hand as Harry waved them all forward, the boys falling in line to one another as they managed through a thick bunch of cracked and dehydrated vegetation that could give them perfect view of the bent and ugly wench that was sat not far away, wailing her lungs out over something tragic that she’d completely misconstrued and blown out of proportion.

“I hope she doesn’t try to sing professionally.” Niall hissed as Louis had to smack a hand over his mouth to conceal his laughter, Harry’s pretty little white teeth gleaming from those parted, full pink lips as Liam snickered.

“Imagine turning on the radio one day and hearing that.”

“Run the bloody car off the road.” Zayn added darkly as Louis nearly lost it, Harry’s nostrils widening in his effort to not lose himself as well as he waved them all past to weave through the remaining skinny trees as the fog thinned before eventually clearing to the normal appearance of the woods they’d left not long ago.

“Imagine having people buying a record to listen to that cat scream, though.” Josh added quickly as Louis lost it, his head thrown back as the tiny knot of his throat bobbed to the complete elation that flooded his system as Harry looked to him proudly before snickering, his fingers plucking up a few more flowers as he worked them to the intricate weaving.

“So what are we looking for?” Niall flounced as he bounded before them all to touch to the trees they passed, Harry biting to his bottom lip as his fingers fumbled to the frozen stems that kept breaking off.

“It’s just past the bridge not far ahead! There’s a really cool spot up the river-”

“No.” Zayn cut in quickly as his feet froze in place, Louis and Liam looking to him in confusion as Zayn began shaking his head quickly, his eyes wide in panic and fear.

“Why not?” Liam seemed to whine as he tried tugging Zayn forward only to have Zayn rip his arm away.

“I’m not going to go play in some river to _freeze_ to death! Are you mad?” Zayn stood his ground as now Niall and Josh looked back to him with confused and annoyed expressions. “Can’t we just go torture that girl or something? Do something away from water?”

“Since when are you not up for an adventure?” Niall called as he picked up a small stick to chuck it to Zayn, Zayn dodging it cleanly as his mood grew further sour.

“I don’t want to do it-”

“You can always go back to the house, then?” Harry offered kindly as Zayn fixed him to a deadly expression, the hate completely lost to Harry as he was still consumed in trying to fix his flowers that were beginning to tangle within one another and bleed their colors. “I’m sure my mum would make you some tea until we got back or something?”

“Zayn, it’s a good idea?” Liam offered as he stepped toward Louis, Louis watching Zayn intently as Zayn’s eyes nearly popped out of his head to the idea of him being the only one to wait in a strange house!

“Liam! You’d not even come back with me?”

“This is Harry’s sleepover! It’d be rude!” Liam explained with an innocent shrug as he stepped again to Louis, his face pulled in pleading that Zayn forget his anger and just join the rest of them, as he and the other boys were completely ignorant to the _real_ cause of Zayn’s discomposure.

“But-”

“Come on, Zayn! Don’t be a complete girl, we won’t wet your hair!” Josh called as he and Niall joined hands in leaping over a fallen tree, Harry finally looking up from his flower crown that was finished as he smiled again to Zayn sweetly.

“It’s your choice if you’d like to come?” Louis watched Zayn’s face pull in confliction as he and the other boys turned to Niall’s shout of finding the bridge and marveling to the gushing, translucent river running deeply and quickly beneath.

“Please?” Liam pleaded gently as he held a hand to Zayn slowly, Zayn hesitant in stepping forward to wrap to Liam’s touch before his shoes were warily drawing behind Louis and Harry’s close proximity as Harry shoved the crown Louis had made to Louis’ head happily.

“But this is yours!” Louis opposed as he made to take it off, Harry cramming the flower crown to his own head as he smiled. “Harry, you’re king?”

“No, you’ll be king for a day! I’ve gotten everything else I wanted.”

“You’re sure?” Louis questioned as he touched the crown sat to his upswept fringe, Harry nodding quickly as he managed the sloppy ring of flowers to his forehead as his curls bounced and stuck around them messily, the last four boys approaching to Niall and Josh stood to the middle of the old, rickety bridge as they leaned out to the water purging quickly by below.

“Look a’it!” Niall called excitedly as he pointed to the things floating by that had come from upstream, Louis and Harry joining to their sides as Zayn again ripped his hand from Liam’s, only to usher Liam ahead of him as Zayn tried to calm the slamming of his heart to his ribs.

“How did you find this place?” Liam laughed as he patted Harry to the back, Harry giving a slight shrug of the shoulders as he again touched lightly to the flowers stuck against his forehead.

“Dunno, just have a lot of time! But there’s a better part to the other bank and up a bit through those trees there.” Harry explained as he raised a hand to point the direction out, Niall and Josh taking lead as they jumped from the middle of the bridge’s old and worn planks to the ground on the other side as Josh promptly slipped to a patch of mud and dirtied the back of his pants.

“What’ve you just done?” Niall exploded in a fit as Louis, Harry and Liam all nearly fell over themselves in giggling wildly to Josh’s face as he stood and craned his head over his shoulder to assess the damage, Zayn’s fingers still wringing nervously to his jumper as he watched Liam move further away.

“Liam!” Zayn called pitifully as he stepped toward the bridge only to back away to the gurgling of the river that sent straight through him and settled to the base of his brain in a crippling wave of fear. “Liam!”

“Be careful to that bit there.” Harry warned carefully as he yanked Louis away, Louis’ eyes widening to the obvious weak spot in the wood as he wound his arm to Harry in safely making it to the other bank, Liam pausing to the top of the bridge as he looked back to Zayn’s wide, hazel eyes that looked as though they were welling with tears.

“Come on then, Zayn!”

“Liam, I can’t!” Zayn wailed as he began pacing, his fingers nearly tearing his jumper to shreds as he bit to his bottom lip, watching in dejection as the other boys began starting up the other side of the riverbank. “I can’t!”

“Then go wait back at the house!” Liam seemed to snap as he turned away to join the opposite side, Zayn’s cheeks heating with panic as the toe of his shoe touched to the first plank of wood of the mouth of the bridge before snatching it away.

“Liam, wait! Don’t leave me!”

“We’ll see you later then!” Niall called as he and the other boys waved to Zayn before they turned back to their venture, Liam joining to the group with a smile as Zayn’s stomach dropped to his feet.

It wasn’t fair that he was stuck with such a stupid fear that he’d never cared to share with the other boys, and it bothered him to no end. Perching the toes of his shoes timidly to the start of the bridge, Zayn watched as the heads of the other boys began to slowly wind to the grove of trees beyond as he saw himself being left, _abandoned_. Gathering a deep and shaky breath to his chest, Zayn righted himself before squeezing the life out of the bottom hem of his jumper, his teeth nearly chewing his bottom lip off as he closed his eyes and let his feet slam to the bridge beneath, a loud, panicked scream falling from his lips to cut through the quiet of the woods before his back was slamming to the water beneath.

It seemed as though Zayn were floating to a pitcher of ice water as the breath was punched from his lungs, the shards of wood stuck to his jumper sticking him uncomfortably as his eyes snapped open and his fingers gripped for something, yet found nothing. Zayn had never cared to learn how to swim, and now like many other times, he couldn’t figure out why he hadn’t. Kicking his feet and struggling to hold his breath, Zayn felt as if the end were near when something sliced through the water before him, a pair of arms bowing before a lithe body before Zayn was gripping wildly to Harry’s billowing, long shirt that floated around him as a cape and veil.

Appreciative for once for Harry’ touch and gentle eyes, Zayn wrapped himself to Harry’s middle as Harry clutched to Zayn’s back and kicked them up to the surface, the loud and painful cough ripping from Zayn chest not enough to disguise the ruckus happening up top, and not even being close to registering to the distraction needed to wipe the confusion from his face. As Harry began swimming with Zayn clinging to him for dear life, Zayn was puzzled to the large _ship_ they were swimming for, his head craned painfully back on his neck to the woods that should’ve been there, yet weren’t; the bridge and trees gone and replaced to another sinking ship and the one Harry was currently bringing them to.

“What’s going on?” Zayn choked as he caught a mouthful of salty water, Harry giving a sigh of relief to drawing to the downcast rope at helping them aboard as he pushed Zayn’s hands to grip tightly first.

“You were pillaging the enemy ship when the monster caught it and ripped it apart! We nearly lost you!” Zayn’s eyebrows crinkled as he and Harry were suddenly being dragged up the side of the ship, Zayn’s head turned to watched the wide expanse of ocean grow further and further before him until he could properly see the wreckage of the ship that was bubbling beneath the surface of the tidal waves crashing overtop.

“You alright?” Niall called over the railing as he gripped to Zayn’s shoulders and snatched him to the deck, Zayn sprawling to his back with the shock of the cold water still clinging to his limbs as he fought to control his breathing.

“Thought you were dead, mate!” Josh sighed happily as he squatted over Zayn to give him a pat to the chest before Liam was there worrying over Zayn, pushing the wet hair back from his forehead and trying to warm Zayn’s arms as Louis was there as well to catch Harry from his jumping down from the railing.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine, but I couldn’t let him drown, could I?” Harry smarted as Louis promptly punched him to the stomach.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again!”

“Louis!” Harry pleaded as Louis spun quickly on his heel to head for Captain’s quarters, Harry shaking the wet curls back from his face as he rolled his eyes with a tiny smile before he was stood to squat over Zayn, his hand laid to Zayn’s chest gently as he bent to listen to the tiny breaths ripping in terror from Zayn’s parted and frozen lips. “So, when were you planning on telling the rest of us you couldn’t swim?”

“I _said_ I didn’t want to come.” Zayn snipped as Harry smiled, giving a slight shrug of his shoulders as his tiny hands again made to shove the hair back from his face.

“So we’ll not have to worry about you stealing the extra rowboat.”

“You’re so weird.” Zayn cut as he rolled to his side and coughed, Harry standing away and retrieving the pistol from his hip as he quickly crossed to the starboard rail to watch the waters churn darkly below.

“Don’t think we’d better stick around much longer, cap’n. It’s coming and I can feel it-”

“Uh, lads?” Louis called suddenly as he stepped from the wrecked quarters to point a finger to the horizon that grew shadowed and dark as the hump of a dark figure rose from the abyss of the ocean that still pitched sickly in the dying out of the sun. “I think it’s back!”

“What is that? What’s back?” Zayn shouted suddenly to the roar and crash of the waves as the figure was soon back beneath the water and heading straight for their ship.

“Bloody hell!” Josh panicked as he ran heavily across the deck toward the rowboat that swung in the wind that began howling terribly in the impending doom, the tall buckets of black power he’d managed to kick over in his haste spreading and scattering terribly in his wake.

“Come on, Zayn get up!” Liam began rushing quickly as he latched his arms beneath Zayn’s armpits, Zayn clumsily rising to his feet as he swept the hair back from his eyes only to again freeze in fear. It was as if his tongue grew heavy against his teeth and the chattering blocked out any possibilities of forming a coherent sentence as the chances again and again flew from the side as Zayn pointed and began to back away with Liam clung to his side.

“What _is_ that?”

“Move your arses!” Harry shouted suddenly as he gripped tightly about Louis’ upper arm and yanked him back from the railing, a single long, black tentacle crashing to the middle of the deck as Josh began screaming they hurry to the boat that was lowering faster by the second.

“It’s real!” Niall screamed as Harry shoved him forward, Louis having to duck in time to miss the swing of the great tentacle as a gurgling growl sounded from the side of the ship as another tentacle wrapped tightly about the main mast only to snap it clean in half.

“Of course it’s real! Move, Niall!”

“My sweets-”

“Who gives a ruddy care about your sweets! Go!” Louis demanded as he managed to shove Niall over the side of the opposite railing to flop to the bottom of the tiny rowboat, Louis, Liam and Zayn toppling in after as Harry held the rope before motioning Josh go next. “Harry!”

“Just wait!” Harry demanded as he watched what looked to be a slippery, black haze climb to the side of the boat before a small, razored mouth was cutting through the wood as Harry squinted to the _forked_ tongue that flicked across deck before a blood curdling scream was nearly ripping him through.

“Come on then, Harry!” Josh screamed in panic as Harry snatched a dagger from his boot, the final cut to the rope sending the small rowboat crashing to the waves below as Liam and Louis quickly unhinged the oars and began peddling away from the boat that was creaking and groaning to the effort of being consumed.

“Look at it!” Niall shouted in awe as Harry stood to the middle of the boat to watch his ship fall away, his hand raised before his forehead in salute as Zayn rolled his eyes to the dramatics.

In gaining enough distance, every boy paused to watch the ship being wrapped within the tentacles of the kraken, a fierce roar falling from where ever a beast like that would keep a heart or a soul as a single, _red_ eye flicked in their direction and to the faint cocking of the pistol Harry raised with one eye squinted shut in concentration.

“Make it count.” Liam encouraged as Harry gave a sly smirk, the bits and pieces of the kegs of _gunpowder_ shattering down the sides of his sinking ship, as he knew luck was on his side.

“Not a shot wasted.” Harry muttered as his fingers squeezed to the trigger, a single scream of a bullet twisting through the air between them and the monster wrapped and tangled to the masts and sails, the lighted trail of impending end seeming to suck the air off of the water itself as everything grew quiet for a split second before the water was in fits to the massive explosion and fireball rising to the sky.

“You got it!” Niall crowed happily as Louis stood to toss his arms about Harry’s waist, Zayn never giving a shit as he leaned his head to the side of the boat to wretch his breakfast up and wipe his mouth.

“Nasty thing.” Liam growled as he simultaneously rubbed to Zayn’s back, Josh shaking his head as he reveled to the screeches of pain issuing from the mouth of the belly of the beast that had already killed so many pirates on the sea just like them.

“What’ll we do now?” Louis questioned suddenly as Harry shrugged and looked over his shoulder to Zayn.

“Ask him.”

“Me?” Zayn snapped as he spat over the side of the boat again before settling back with a slight sheen of sweat crossing his forehead in the heat of the sun overhead that had come to illuminate to the massacre sinking beneath the water behind them. “Why would I know?”

“Because, it’s _your_ fantasy.” Harry explained simply as he flung himself to sit, wiping the sleeve of his billowing trouser shirt across his forehead as Louis fell to his side, Zayn’s eyebrows quirking oddly as he looked around the boys crowded in the tiny boat before his lips were parted.

“I can’t make these up, though-”

“You just did.” Liam pushed as he dug a hand to Zayn’s side, Zayn shaking his head quickly before he fixed the image of the river and the bridge back to his mind as Harry sighed from the exhaustion sweeping his body.

“I still think my mud pit was better.” Niall muttered as Josh’s laugh seemed to snap Zayn back to reality as he found himself and the other boys suddenly slung to the side of the riverbank, his clothes and hair soaked as he began to shiver horribly in the cold that clung to his bones. Looking about himself in a daze, Zayn fixed his eyes to Harry’s as he took in Harry being the _only_ other one to be shivering and dripping as he was, as he realized Harry had been the one to save him.

Harry had jumped into a freezing river to _save_ him.

  
  


“I dunno if I can handle another sleepover anytime soon.” Niall sighed as he gathered the bags of crisps and biscuits to his chest only to snuggle further beneath the blankets piled on top of him.

“Today was wicked.” Louis sighed happily as Harry sat toweling his hair, each boy fresh from their quick baths as Anne’s face when they’d arrived back to the house had been nothing short of horror.

“We have Zayn to thank.”

All eyes turned to Zayn as Zayn looked back to them quietly before crossing his arms to his chest and flopping to his back within his own cocoon, his leg pressed to Liam’s warmly planted next to him as Liam tangled his fingers to Zayn’s mussed hair lovingly. Sighing, Zayn couldn’t shake the image of Harry being the only one to jump in after him, his pride taking a backseat as Zayn connected to Harry’s careful watch.

“Thanks for saving me, I hate water.” Harry shrugged as a thought passed Zayn’s mind quickly as he frowned. “But the monster, the kraken thing? That wasn’t mine. I’ve never even heard of ‘em before.”

“Suppose it was mine.” Harry smiled sheepishly as the other boys sighed, Louis flopping to his pillow as Josh threw a pen to Zayn’s head with a wafer stuffed between his lips loosely.

“Nex’time pu’us on l’nd!”

“Water was fun.” Liam snickered as Zayn fixed him to a dirty look before snatching up the pen and rolling to straddle Liam’s middle, Liam beginning to screech as he fought Zayn and the pen away. “Don’t, I’ve already had a bath!”

“Just let me draw something!” Zayn giggled as Louis pulled to Harry’s leg to have him come beneath their own pile of blankets as Niall and Josh began digging to a tin of sweet popcorn in search of the promised prize.

“You can draw on me?” Harry offered gently as Zayn looked to him doubtfully, Harry waving him over with an inviting smile as he pushed the sleeve of Louis’ now stolen jumper completely up to his shoulder. “Come on then, I don’t mind.”

“And get off!” Liam prodded as he managed to shove Zayn off, Zayn again looking to Harry as Harry smiled, further reminding Zayn that he risked his ass to get in that water and save him.

“Alright, come here.” Zayn frowned slightly as he patted the space before him, Harry crawling away much to Louis’ distaste as he sat before Zayn and offered his arm, Zayn lightly bringing the pen to Harry’s skin as he averted his attention from the bruises that were still visible, even in the dim light.

“Today was massive.” Niall sighed again as he finally flopped to his back with a hula-hoop held firmly in place by his teeth. “It’s weird how much time passes when you go into a fantasy thing, right?”

“I’ll need one sometime soon.” Liam cut in angrily as his cheeks grew dark, all eyes fixing to him as the pen paused to Harry’s skin, Louis rolling to his stomach as he propped his cheeks to his cupped palms lightly. “It’s not for any of you! It’s just, I received invitation to Eleanor’s birthday by Danielle and my mum saw it before I could pitch it out-”

“Oh thank you!” Louis burst as he smiled to Liam, Liam’s eyebrows rising before his lips gathered in a tight ring. “This means we’ll have one another to bother with!”

“You’re going- of course you’re going!”

“My mum wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Louis rolled his eyes as he settled to his stomach, his cheek pressed tightly to the pillow as Josh drew in a deep breath to the hazy sleep washing his brain, Niall settling his head to the middle of Josh’s stomach as they settled in warmly.

“How’s it look?” Zayn questioned quietly as Harry looked to his arm before his eyes grew in awe to the perfect image of the pirate ship from the day’s fantasy sat perfectly immortalized to his skin.

“Wow, it’s really good! You’re good at drawing, it’s like the ship itself.”

“It’s not that good.” Zayn replied modestly as he tried to keep the smile from his face, his eyes locking to Harry’s quickly as Harry’s cheeks dented in that way that even Louis knew was happening and stealing Zayn away.

“I love it, and I’ll keep from washing my arm as long as I can!” Harry held up his hand in a promise as he and Zayn shared a slight laugh, Harry crawling back to Louis’ side at the gentle knock on the door as Anne poked her head in.

“It’s late boys, lets get some sleep.”

“Goodnight, mum!” Harry called as he snuggled in tightly next to Louis, the other boys immediately mocking him as they began making kissing sounds to Anne and calling her mum as Anne laughed gently before baying them all goodnight and shutting the door, only Harry and Louis looking to the strange weight thunking beyond the other side of the door as their chins pressed to the pillows.

Soundlessly, Louis fingers found Harry’s beneath the blankets as they listened to the faint sounds of what sounded to be long, curved and dirty claws scratching to the wood just to the other side of the door as a long, hot breath curled its way beneath as Harry’s expression hardened, a long sound as what sounded to be a _lick_ playing to the other side of the wood before it was simply _gone_.

“’M sorry, lads.” Niall burst suddenly as Louis and Harry looked to one another in panic, Josh already snoring in complete oblivion as Liam and Zayn rose just in time to the loud fart ripping from Niall’s side as Louis sighed in disgust.

“Niall!”

“That’s so disgusting!” Liam reprimanded as he cuddled back to his pillow, Zayn and Harry catching one another’s gaze through the dimming light of the nightlight spinning to the dresser across the room as they snickered before laying back down.

“I said I was sorry, what do you want Liam?”

“Thank you all for coming to my first sleepover.” Harry interrupted softly as the room turned warm and inviting, Louis turning to face Harry as to put Niall’s smell to his back as he pressed his face gently to Harry’s neck. “Even though Zayn almost died and Niall made my mum cook three different times, it was the best first sleepover ever.”

“We’ll have to have more!” Niall bubbled as Louis nodded and smiled to Harry rolling to his front, their noses brushing together softly as Harry quickly checked to the other boys before he pressed their lips gently together.

“Thank you.” Harry whispered as Louis cuddled closer, their fingers finding the other through the darkness as Zayn crept to Liam’s chest in the protective hold of the other.

“I’ll do anything for you.” Louis assured back quietly as his eyes slipped closed, and he knew he would. Louis would do anything to assure that Harry was safe and happy; Louis would do anything to assure that Harry was still wrapped around him in the morning when he woke up.

And he was.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Find the beauty in nature; in the natural, along with the supernatural.”

  
  


[Willow Tree March](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNnAdwPE9gU)

  
  


The magic of the adventure sat to the middle of the ocean still carried fresh to Louis’ memory as the color bled as a waxy fixture to his fingers as Louis bit to his bottom lip to the line that moved from the center of the page off center as Louis had intended. It didn’t matter though, as he could still feel Harry’s warm breath to his neck as his eyelids fluttered to the gentle smile gracing his lips. It had all been perfect, and yet ended too soon. It was as if he had just walked into Harry’s house only to be pushed out the next second, but it didn’t matter. The exhilaration still flowed through his veins as Louis reached for another color, his attention catching to Zayn’s as the two boys nodded in understanding of the other, both grateful that Zayn had returned to his rightful place, yet still wasn’t completely himself.

And while it seemed that Louis was able to find the light at the end of his own tunnel, he couldn’t help but take notice to the limp nature of Mrs. Austin’s smile and the dingy color of her hair that was swept back from her face in a messy state. At the moment, she was walking past Louis and Zayn with her head bowed as her hands cupped around her stomach with a tightening of her eyes. Pausing in his venture of drawing out the sails that would billow to the impending stalk of the monster slicing through the water, Louis couldn’t help but twinge to the pained expression littering Mrs. Austin’s face that had yet to leave since the day she’d been turned away.

And while Louis was completely mad at her for even trying to tattle on him and Harry to possibly keep them apart for longer, Louis couldn’t help but cringe to how awful she looked, because she looked like death. Still watching her lopsided gait, Louis wasn’t shy in keeping his attention focused as Mrs. Austin looked to him quietly before averting her eyes to the opposite direction, a funny stirring hitting to the pit of Louis’ stomach as he shifted uncomfortably and snatched up the black color to begin to the pirates flag that had waved proudly over the top deck of the ship bobbing through the waves. Life was weird, to give you the good while dealing shit to others only to come full circle and fall heavily to back of your neck in attempt of breaking away the walls built to shelter from the impending storm that’s doomed to do us all in one day.

Louis was still oblivious as the time seemed to drag by until he was thrown in the midst of the lawns out back before the playground, Niall, Josh and Liam zipping quickly by as Zayn tottered along in effort of keeping his new shoes clean from the mud. The boys were headed toward the further tree line as Louis smiled to the familiarity of life falling back to where it was supposed to be, and yet Eleanor was the first of that day to bring him falling face first back into reality.

“Louis!” A loud squeal echoed in his ear as Louis looked to Eleanor with wide eyes before surging forward in vain effort of getting away, only to be gripped about the shoulders and pulled tightly to Eleanor’s chest. “Today is my birthday!”

“Alright!” Louis snapped as he tired to pull away, grimacing to Eleanor’s shriek that was echoed by Danielle’s as the two girls began to bounce in place.

“It’s supposed to be sunny, and your mum called my mum and said you were coming! What did you get me?”

“Nothing! I’m not coming!” Louis snapped as he finally shoved away from Eleanor’s grasp, Eleanor keeping her expression light as she rolled her eyes and touched to Louis’ chest only to wrinkle her nose to Louis smacking her hand away.

“Your- mum already called and said you were! I’ve saved you a spot and everything next to me at the table to eat!” Eleanor’s hands rose to clap excitedly as she looked to Danielle who instantly blushed to what she knew Eleanor was going to say. “And Danielle and Liam will sit together as well.”

“You’re _delusional_.” Louis spoke slowly as he shoved away from Eleanor’s fingers gripping again to his sleeve, Eleanor’s cheeks rising in color as she frowned to Louis deeply.

“You don’t have to be so _rude_ , Louis-”

“ _You_ don’t have to be so clingy.” Louis bit as he managed to squeeze around Eleanor and break into a run for the trees, Eleanor’s shouts of anger seeming to echo after him as Louis rolled his eyes and pumped his legs faster to blend to the crowds of children that fanned out and thinned the closer to the trees he approached.

Not thinking to the heavy fog that seemed to mingle throughout the trees, Louis cast a cautious glance over his shoulder to find Mrs. Austin stood to Eleanor’s side with her hand laid to the trembling girls shoulders as Eleanor’s hands swiped to her cheeks, Mrs. Austin’s sallow and paled cheeks watching Louis carefully as Louis frowned before fading away.

Sighing to his luck of probably having to endure another lecture and the look of contempt that would surely follow his actions, Louis blinked his way through the fog that suddenly corrupt his vision as he held his hands up shakily before himself.

“Niall? Liam?” Louis called suddenly as he squinted through the fog that seemed to swirl and worsen, Louis’ heart for whatever reason seeming to pick up pace as Louis quickly tossed a glance over his shoulder only to find the playground was no longer visible. “Zayn? Josh!”

“Be careful.” A voice whispered gently as Louis spun to release a loud breath that had cuddled to the back of his throat, older Harry’s hands twisting to Louis’ shoulders protectively as a shuffling of feet before him caused Louis to jump and spin as he was again heaving a breath of relief.

“What happened?” Liam questioned quickly as Zayn broke apart from the fog behind him, their hands clasped together tightly as Louis’ eyebrows quirked to Niall and Josh crashing into one another as Louis took in the wet spatters of Niall’s trouser legs.

“Dunno, thick fog-?”

“ _Harry_?” Zayn interrupted quickly as Louis’ eyes widened, his head whipping to older Harry as Harry smiled wryly.

“Well look at that Louis, they can see your weird dream thing too.”

“What?” Louis drawled as Harry raised an eyebrow before digging his hands tightly to the front pockets of his trousers as he stepped to a bank of fog to disappear completely, Louis looking to the other boys who watched him in disbelief.

“Was that-”

“How is he so much bigger?” Niall burst as he squinted to find Harry again, Harry’s chuckle reverberating around the space as Louis’ mouth opened to explain before every boy was reaching for the other in the shaking of the ground beneath their feet.

“What is going on?” Louis burst as Zayn fixed him to a stern look, his mood already soured to Niall having pushed him and his new shoes through mud.

“He said it was your dream, fantasy thing! What are _you_ doing?”

“Nothing?” Louis wracked his brain carefully as another great vibration broke through the ground beneath their feet, all boys looking to the other when they were scrambling to the great, furry paw that seemed to stretch down from the heavens to stamp to the ground between them before another foot followed by a tail that drug through the leaves and the underside of a great belly.

“Is that a dog?” Niall shouted in disbelief as Josh gripped to his arms, Louis gathering Liam’s hand tightly within his own as Liam latched to Zayn and Zayn gripped Niall by the chest of his jumper. “Are we going to die?”

“Shut up, Niall!” Josh commanded as a gentle roar was heard through the distance as Louis’ heart began to race within his chest, his legs pulling away from what he thought was the direction of the moving monster before he was run into a solid mass covered in shaggy fur.

“Niall, stop it!” Liam demanded suddenly as Louis noticed he began to sink in relation to his eyes meeting with those of a grand and wide face, a gentle smile played to the large rubbery lips as the monster offered a large paw in assistance of pulling Louis from the mud pit again stemming from Niall’s nervously racing mind.

“I’m not trying!” Niall snapped as Zayn instantly reached back and smacked him round the head, Louis and Liam never breaking contact from the monster that raised a paw over his eyes before uncovering them and baring a row of sharp, pointy teeth that oddly played to no danger in Louis’ mind.

“Isn’t that the monster from that book?” Liam questioned gently to Louis’ ear as Louis cocked his head, his eyes falling to the crackling and breaking of branches beneath other large feet coming from the direction the hill was _supposed_ to be in as Louis’ smile inched wider in further pronunciation as the monster on the cover of _Where The Wild Things Are_ began taking form before his eyes.

“This is amazing.” Louis breathed as the monster and his friends looked to the boys before looking to each other and immediately branching out in different directions, their heavy footsteps again shaking the ground beneath them as Niall chewed nervously to his bottom lip, Zayn’s face blown of emotion as he decided he was sick of it all.

“Stop it, Louis! I think we’ve all had enough!” Zayn demanded as he rushed around Liam to shove to Louis’ back, Louis looking to Zayn incredulously as Josh was lifted from the ground by his arm by a monster with the head of a goat that was stood on its hind legs with a peculiar expression dashed to the wide, telling eyes.

“Uh, Louis-”

“Dragon!” Niall screamed suddenly as the monsters that were circling kindly in wonder to the boys seemed to shield their heads before fading away into the fog, Josh crashing flatly to his face at the loss of grip as Louis reached out a hand sadly to keep his favorite character of the book, Carol, from fleeing him _again_.

“Louis!” Liam shouted suddenly as Louis was brought back from his pain of sadness in time to wrap his arms to the giant, scaled tail that wrapped quickly from the fog and smacked him to the chest, Louis skittering through the leaves as Niall looked about himself in a panic.

“What do we do? Do we play dead?”

“Shut up, Niall!” Zayn demanded as Louis rolled to his back with a wheezing cough, his hand raised to his forehead that now gently bled to the light scrape as Liam squatted to his side and brushed Louis’ hair away in examination of what he’d thought would be worse.

“It’s coming!” Josh hissed as all boys seemed to grow still to the odd quiet that fell, Zayn’s muddied shoes twisting through the leaves and twigs gently and slowly before there was a low, warning growl followed by a large exhale of warm, stale breath that seemed to circle the group and make them all grow sticky beneath the collar.

As each boy grew more panicked to a different vibration of the ground beneath their feet, Louis’ eyes locked to a large, rounded stick just to the edge of the visibility of the fog surrounding them wickedly before a long snout was projecting to visibility, large marbled red eyes flicking dangerously with the familiar iris of a cat that Louis hadn’t seen since his time in the first defeat alongside Harry.

“A dragon? Really?” Liam hissed as Louis measured his words and thought of what Harry and Zayn had said, but he couldn’t actually believe it! Louis had spent hours trying to create his own fantasy and it had never happened, so why now?

“I don’t know?” Louis muttered as two large paws erupted from the fog, long and deathly claws dragging dangerously through the dirt as Louis watched the shoulders of the enormous dragon appear within the small space as Josh began dragging Niall by the feet.

“We’ve got to go!” Josh shouted as Zayn slowly began backing away, the dragon’s lips parting back over its teeth as a loud growl was hissed through the fog before Louis was squeezing his eyes shut.

“Get rid of it!” Zayn demanded as he tripped over his own feet only to scoot to his bum and rake through the leaves with his fingers as the dragon locked him within its sights and began creeping forward. “Louis!”

“I’m trying!” Louis screamed back as he locked eyes to another branch that seemed to be perfect size, yet was in the most obtuse of places to hang from the branches of a tree just beyond Liam’s head. “Just let me think!”

“We don’t have time to think!” Niall shouted as the dragon’s warm breath flooded the small area, Louis in a flurry of a second shooting to his feet as he stretched an arm for the tip of the branch that he was barely able to brush with his fingertips before there was another hand there yanking the branch down for him.

“You’d better hurry.” Harry yawned, his long legs crossed comfortably as he leaned against the tree and ruffled his curls out, Louis snatching the sword quickly away as it turned heavier by the second and Liam’s slight squeal of panic managed to steal his attention back from the older boy that melted to the fog with a smile.

“Be careful where you’re swinging that thing!” Liam roared as Louis’ face crinkled in confusion before he was staring to the sword glistening within his grip, a smile cracking briefly to his lips before he was obvious to the direct whip of the dragon’s head to his direction at the sound of the cut of metal through the stilled air.

“Liam, move from the way!” Zayn shouted suddenly as Louis ducked in time to miss the tail that swung from around his back and clobbered Liam to his face, Zayn sliding through the muck and the mud to fall next to Liam as he cradled Liam’s head to his lap as he comforted away the bewildered expression.

“Louis!” Josh shouted as Louis managed a quick slash to the dragon’s slithering tail as an earsplitting roar was screamed from the withdrawn lips of the beast as its marbled eyes rolled to focus to Louis; a look of hatred and death. “Run!”

Without further command, Louis spun on his heel as he tore off into the fog, the scrambling of the ginormous dragon following closely behind him shaking Louis completely through in the fact that Harry wasn’t here to call the dragon off or break away the fantasy if it got too dangerous! Anytime anything had gotten too heavy, Harry had been there to bring them all back to earth, so what was Louis supposed to do now? Lurching to the buckling of his knees, Louis felt the panic rise sickly to the back of his throat as a claw shredded to the back of his trouser leg only to be withdrawn quickly to Louis’ quick jab to the scaled and shiny paw that withdrew with a hiss and a flick of the forked tongue that licked hungrily to those blackened and dangerous lips.

Louis had wanted to learn how to make his own realities, but never like this! The fire swelling to his chest told Louis he wasn’t going to be able to run much longer, and the hot exhales of the beast behind him told Louis he wasn’t going to live to tell the tale, but he wasn’t ready to die!

“Harry!” Louis screamed frightfully as he wildly swung the sword behind himself, a slash landing to the dragon’s nose as it wailed for a second before it was again surging forward to knock Louis to the ground on his face in the mud, the sword nearly sinking from sight completely.

Rolling quickly to meet his death, Louis shielded his face as his life suddenly came to show him that he’d been so busy bitching and worrying about the things he couldn’t change and the sadness that consumed him by his _own_ doing, that he’d forgotten the good things-

“Louis.” A voice whispered quietly as Louis’ eyes flew open, his hands shaking before his face as he looked wildly around to the heavy fog that still clung tightly to the trees and grass in refusal of moving away.

Scrambling to his feet, Louis felt as though he were going to panic and fall out, the familiar sensation of dread twisting up his spine, as he knew _it_ wasn’t far behind.

“Zayn!” Louis shouted suddenly as a far off calling of his name caught his attention, Louis looking around wildly as he wondered how vast the small patching of trees had grown to his own mind as the school certainly didn’t sit to the borders of the woods as Harry’s house did. “Liam! Niall! Josh!”

“Louis.” The voice whispered again as Louis quickly checked over his shoulder as his feet carried him clumsily into a tree, his hands wrapping tightly about the bark as he jumped away to peel the thistle that was promptly lodged deep within his skin to his feet as he kicked it away and poured over his hand that pooled with blood in familiar remembrance.

“Help!” Louis called pitifully as he again clambered forward, his hands vainly waving before himself as he tried to clear the fog to no avail, his feet tripping him up and catching to raised roots and twigs as Louis felt as though he were going crazy.

Of all the things he could’ve made for himself and the other boys, he brought in his obsessive fascination of older Harry and the scarier things that he’d never thought or desired to see again. And yet there they were in the flesh, gathered in the blood dripping from his hand and down his arm as Louis willed away the tears of panic to not fall as he found he was lost. Why did he do this to himself? He was doing so good, even if for a split second, and yet it was his own mind working against him in the effort of bringing him back to that oblivion that would cascade his mind and muddy his soul into the nothing that would eat him alive.

“Louis!” Liam called weakly as Louis sighed and twisted through the blinding fog with his hands outstretched as he sniffled to the trauma that he knew the boys would hate him for, the bright hue of the blood twisted through his fingers seeming to cast brilliant against the smoky gaze of the fog as his eyes grew glassy in effort; after all, enough was enough.

“Liam?” Louis called again as a sigh was released to a body crashing to his side, Louis turning slowly to Niall’s chest as Niall’s eyes landed to Louis’ hand that was still gushing obscenely.

“You alright? What’d you get into?”

“Thistle, I think.” Louis mumbled as Niall moved Louis’ hand away from himself, his grip to Louis’ sleeve firm in tugging Louis to where the other boys were still trying to collect themselves and breathe as they turned in relief before paling to Louis’ wide eyes and blood smears.

“What did you do?” Zayn demanded as he rushed forward to pull Louis’ sleeve back, Louis’ lips quivering gently before he was unable to stop the rush of tears that freely fell.

“What’s wrong with me?”

“What?” Liam soothed as he placed to stand directly before Louis as his fingers lightly held to Louis’ cheeks, Louis shaking away from the touch as he ripped his hand away.

“You all had cool imaginations and mine has been horrible and nearly killed us all-”

“It’s Harry.” Zayn replied flatly as he again tried to look to Louis’ hand, Louis yanking away hard as he fixed Zayn to the nastiest look he could muster before he turned and froze in his spot, Josh’s little squeak of panic seeming to render the rest of the boys still to the atrocious sight that fixated them all helpless.

There, breaking from the fog was the monster of Louis’ worst horrors. First came the drawn growl that broke the cold sweat across his forehead followed by the grisly snout matted with dried blood and a cut to the nose that Louis knew had been caused by himself. Backing away as best as he could, Louis was gripped tightly by Zayn and Niall as Josh clenched his fingers to fists at what he and the other boys had at one point mocked Louis about behind his back, only to find it slowly creeping through the fog to stand before them.

The horns were next as Louis watched the empty slots that remained dark to the monster’s eyes not yet opened, the large paws cutting loudly over the ground as the sinister lips curled back over those teeth that Louis knew would shred them all to pieces without thought. In measured anticipation, someone’s grip grew tighter to Louis’ abdomen as the monster rose to its hind legs as it had been the night Louis had encountered it to the side of the football pitch, its head raised slowly in thought before those disgusting, ruby eyes were shown wetly to roll about loosely in their sockets before they fixed widely to each boy’s face, then painstakingly and slowly fixing to Louis’.

“We have to run.” Liam trembled in a broken voice as he gripped to the back of Louis’ jumper, Niall’s knees knocking together as he felt his lunch climb quickly up the back of his throat.

“You _won’t_ have them.” Louis issued quietly as he flinched to the monster’s head cocking slightly to the side as the forked tongue flicked out from between those teeth, almost in thought before a bone crushing blow was rendered to the side of the monster’s form, Louis and the boys watching in shock as the monster nearly faded to puff of smoke as to intermingle with the other shades of smoggy disgusting of the fog as Louis’ eyes turned to older Harry swinging the muddied sword between his fingers effortlessly.

“Run, Louis.” Harry demanded lowly as his eyes narrowed to the monster raising back to its four legs, those eyes focused to the breast of Harry’s t-shirt as it paced to the heart thrumming within that it would have most pleasure in ripping out bit by bit. “Go!”

“Run you idiots!” Zayn shouted suddenly to the roar and uprising of the monster as Louis watched through tears as Harry surged forward with the sword raised before himself, Liam and Zayn pushing Louis away and through the tresses of fog as the vision of Harry and the monster bleeding and fighting the other faded from his mind as Louis’ eyes squeezed shut in the final time before the boys were all a tangled and muddied mess laying to the mouth of the trees, bare to the opened playground.

There weren’t many that bothered to look, but as Louis lay panting and Niall shoved himself from the ground in the rush in looking for the closest toilet, Zayn was snatching Louis hand before his face as he quickly tossed it away and remained to his hands and knees as he panted. Frowning, Louis too raised his hand before his face as his heart fell still, the palm full of blood he could’ve sworn he’d had only seconds before was _gone_. In time with Liam, Louis and Josh looked to the trees that sat completely void of any fog or disturbance as they could all hear the gentle trickling of the stream not far away as Zayn’s face rose in anger.

“I’ve had it!” He burst suddenly as Louis fell back to lay within the wet grass as his eyes grew still, Zayn looming over top of him as Liam lay a hand to his thigh to try and calm him down. “I’ve had it with you and Harry’s fantasies, alright? This is the last time I’m going to nearly die for some stupid dream you and him share, yeah?”

“It was so real.” Josh breathed as Louis looked to his tear streaked face, Josh catching to Louis’ gaze as his lips quivered. “Why would you show us those things?”

“I didn’t-”

“Louis, you’ve seen them before?” Liam hissed lowly as Louis swung his head loosely to face Liam with a frown burrowing his forehead, his head nodding slowly as he again fixed to his palm that sat pink and numb from the cold.

“I’ve had enough!” Zayn repeated, as he looked himself over completely covered in mud as he started back for the building of the primary, the teachers turning to him passing them by as they tutted and flocked after him in order of trying to clean him up a bit before he was to track it all over the floor.

“How can you keep sane with those nasty things-”

“We didn’t think it was real.” Josh spoke again silently as Louis’ eyes watched carefully to the trees before them as a puff of smoke around the trunk of a skinny tree fanned before a pair of full lips pulled in amusement to the horribly awkward situation of the other boys getting to fully glimpse into how unrealistically _crazy_ Louis was, and the world Harry had brought him into. “It _can’t_ be real.”

  
  


Curled over his knees, Louis could feel the tension rolling off of Mrs. Austin’s body as they both looked toward the drive of the primary that was flooding to the onslaught of rain come after Louis and the other boys had been carted off to the Dean’s office to phone their parents to come gather them, as they would mess the bus seats with their muddied clothes. It hadn’t been a problem for the others, as their mothers had simply decided it was something boys were going to do and you couldn’t expect them to always behave, but Louis hadn’t been so lucky. Jay had screamed so loudly the Dean had coughed away to the slight blush of embarrassment coating his cheeks as Louis had flinched to the receiver that told of an angry mother that didn’t want to deal with the teacher that had so rudely invited herself to her own doorstep.

Shaking his head, Louis couldn’t help but smirk to the ridiculousness of the claim that Jay wasn’t angry in that Louis was muddy and filthy, or that he wasn’t going to be allowed to recess for a week due to his and the other boys sneaking away from proper vision, but it was because it was an inconvenience to _her_ and _her_ having to see Mrs. Austin.

It should’ve bothered him more, but it really didn’t at this point, Louis merely craving a bout of stability and something normal in the weird and terrible turn the day had taken. He could still remember Niall’s mum pulling to the curb not fifteen minutes earlier as Niall had yanked Josh to the backseat beside him as he’d never even thought to look back to Louis to wave goodbye. Did this make _Louis_ the monster? Was he the thing that was so terrible that his best mates weren’t even able to look at him properly? To be frightened of him and the things his mind knew, that other naïve children of his age were simply too innocent in recognizing?

As his attention snapped up to the hum of wheels in the further driveway, Louis sighed in relief to Jay’s flicking of her headlights, Mrs. Austin leaning away from the wall slowly as she touched lightly to Louis’ shoulder before turning wordlessly to the primary doors that automatically locked behind her. Unable to understand or care of her cold demeanor, Louis found himself running to the front bumper of the car as Jay slammed on the brakes to keep from running Louis over as he clambered into the car next to her.

“-The hell d’you think you’re doing? I could’ve hit you! And you’re getting mud all over my seats-”

“Mum!” Louis breathed in relief as he stood to his knees on the car seat to wrap himself tightly to Jay’s neck, Jay’s face falling in confusion as she slowly patted to Louis’ back gently.

“Are you alright? I got the call-”

“I just want to go home.” Louis finalized as he sat back to watch Jay tiredly, Jay taking a moment to recognize how old Louis was looking in the wrinkles forming to his sweet, chubby face as she nodded slightly and glanced to the primary doors.

“Was it that teacher of yours? Was she mean to you?”

“I just want to go home.” Louis demanded weakly as he thought of a nice bath and crawling between his sheets, his eyes closing to the thought of the warmth as Jay looked back to her son in concern.

“Well alright, no need to get snippy.” Jay commented beneath her breath as the car pulled from the curb and began its journey home, Louis’ back settling to the seat as he yawned gently,yet fought to keep his eyes open to the thought of the scary things that might keep him awake anyways. “I hope you’ve not forgotten that little girl’s party is tonight-”

“Mum, I don’t _want_ to go!” Louis shouted suddenly as Jay jumped and looked to Louis in surprise.

“I’ve already called her mum-”

“Then ring back and tell her I’ve come up sick!” Louis demanded with a pout to his bottom lip as Jay shook her head firmly and swung the car closer to home.

“You can’t just waste all your time with Harry, so I’ve picked up a little makeup kit and you’re going to take it to that little girl’s party and you’re going to be sweet-”

“I don’t care about her stupid party or her birthday!” Louis exploded as he kicked a foot to the dashboard, Jay looking to the change in Louis’ personality with difficulty as she read the anger perfectly splayed to his face in the splotches of color ringing about his cheeks.

“You listen here, yeah? I’m still your mum and I’m doing this for your own good, do you hear me? I got the call that you got the other boys all shaken up, and honestly I think you need to do something other normal little boys do-”

“So I’m not normal.” Louis hissed as his hands balled to fists on top of his thighs, Jay sighing in defeat as she rolled her eyes.

“I never said that Louis, Jesus! I’m just saying you’re awfully wrapped up in what Harry’s got going on, and you’re not doing anything for yourself!”

“I don’t have anything to do for myself!” Louis shot back as Jay again rolled her eyes and managed to throw the car into park before Louis was shoving out the door.

“Louis! Run the bath and get in, I’ll not fight you on this!” Louis was sure to slam the car door as Jay quickly emerged from her side and started after Louis with a raised hand to his bottom, Louis shedding his rucksack just inside the entrance of the front door as Lou waved happily from the kitchen doorway with a biscuit held tightly within her fingers.

“You look a mess! Good day at primary then?”

“Lou! Please say you’ll watch me!” Louis begged as he stood before the teenager that widened her eyes in response, Tom peeking from the kitchen table with a crisp crunching between his teeth as Lottie bounced to his knee.

“Well, it’s my job-”

“No, Louis has been invited to a party and he’s going!” Jay snapped as she shut the front door loudly behind herself, her hair flat to her neck from the rain as Louis turned to her with a deathly look.

“If you fancy a party so much, _you_ go!” Louis stormed as Lou took a cautious step back, Tom’s eyebrows rising to his hairline as even Lottie paused in her banging a fork to the tabletop.

“Go run a bath, _now_.” Jay demanded in a hiss as she again stepped forward with an open hand raised as Louis’ bottom lip quivered helplessly.

“Please mum, I just want to go to bed! I won’t even go see Harry, I promise!”

“Louis!” Jay shouted suddenly as she lurched forward to snatch Louis by the upper arm, Lou pressing herself tightly to the doorframe as she and Tom winced in unison to Jay’s hand smacking loudly to Louis bum as Louis began to wail. “What have I said? Enough!”

Stumbling to Jay’s push to his back toward the bathroom, Louis never bothered to ease in the cut of his nails to his palm that had been bloodied before as he thought of the thistle that he’d much rather have handled in that moment that face the humiliation of Lou and Tom awkwardly sat to the table across from each other as Jay leaned to her hands on the counter in embarrassment of the son she’d always hoped would turn out differently.

  
  


“Look like a right prick.”

“Stuff it, Tom! You look handsome, Louis.” Lou soothed gently as Louis stood before them miserably, his eyes rolling to Jay’s laughter from the bathroom as she again applied more goopy makeup to her face. “You gonna be alright? My mum used to swat me as well.”

“I’m going to run away someday.” Louis mumbled slowly as Tom nodded, his hand smacking to the kitchen table as he smiled and poked to Louis’ chest softly.

“The day you do, you get the hell out of here and don’t bother looking back, yeah?”

“And take us with you.” Lou added as she crossed to the cupboard before sneaking out a biscuit and holding it out to Louis, Louis’ arm rising stiffly within the blazer jacket Jay had laid out for him to wear as the button up beneath nearly strangled him around the neck.

Popping the biscuit to his mouth, Louis was slow and steady in wrapping his arms tightly to Lou’s waist, Lou’s hands smoothing through Louis’ still damp fringe as Louis sniffled lightly to her shirt.

“I wish you were here all the time and _she_ would just stay at work.”

“Louis.” Lou warned lowly as she squatted before Louis, raising his chin gently with her fingers as she smiled warmly. “I would be a terrible mum-”

“You’re more like the unbearable older sister.” Tom added thoughtfully as Lou looked to him with an annoyed expression.

“And you’re like the old, fat uncle they can’t get rid of no matter how many times they hint about not caring for after you’ve cleaned out the fridges!”

“Only because you’d have a hissy fit if I were to disappear.” Tom added with a shrug of his shoulder as Lou rolled her eyes and smoothed the lapels of Louis’ shirt gently.

“Just grin and bear it, alright? And before you know it, you’ll be back home and in bed and the day will be behind you.”

“’S not that easy.” Louis muttered as Lou rolled her eyes.

“Well, if you’d stop trying to be a grown up for a second, you’d realize some things aren’t meant to be held onto forever.” Louis frowned to the thought as Jay clicked into the kitchen behind them, Tom crinkling his nose to Lottie who immediately burst into a fit of loud, screaming laughter as Lou stood straight and smiled painfully.

“You look nice!”

“It’s been ages since I’ve worn it!” Jay praised to the tight dress stretched to her thighs as she patted Louis to the back of his shoulder, Louis slowly turning in evaluation as a flash of guilt bubbled to the forefront of Jay’s mind. “You look dashing, love! Most handsome boy I’ve seen!”

“Can we just get this over with?” Louis muttered as he smiled quickly to Tom and Lou before poking Lottie’s cheek in affection to his threading around Jay in effort of shrugging into his coat by the front door.

“Louis, let’s just not continue this, please?” Jay sighed as her stupid heels clomped to the wood of the floor as she fought into her own coat with Lou awkwardly trailing behind. “We’ll be home in a bit, and Mark should be home to pay you and take over with Lottie.”

“Alright, Tom and I will just clean up after we’d fed ourselves.” Lou smiled in encouragement to Louis as Louis surged forward to again wrap his arms tightly to Lou’s hips, hoping she’d never leave and still be there when he returned. “Knock ‘em dead!”

“Don’t be gross.” Louis smarted as Lou chuckled and patted him to the back of the head, giving a final muss of his fringe as Jay smiled in gathering her purse and letting Louis pass first out the front door before she was blowing obnoxious kisses to Lottie and hobbling down the front walk to the car that Louis was already slumped over in.

“You look so cute!” Jay gushed as she sighed dreamily and slid to the driver’s seat, her fingers snapping quickly to tell Louis to buckle himself in as he blindly and immediately did as he was told. “I imagine this little Eleanor girl is cute as well, yeah? And Liam’s mum called me and told me Liam would be there for a little girl named Danielle? Why didn’t you tell me about all your new friends?”

“Because they’re _not_ my friends.” Louis snapped as he crossed his arms and turned his eyes out the window to the houses of the street that slowly wound past the window to Jay’s easy creep of the tires to the wet pavement, Louis’ attention catching to the rain that had never eased away in Eleanor’s hopes of sunshine.

“Well regardless, I’ve gotten her a very nice gift that’s in the boot and I’ll expect you to be civil and not ignore her and be moody the entire evening.” Jay paused as Louis simply sighed and watched the main road twist by before the car was heading uphill to the richer, higher parts of the village. “Louis, did you hear me?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t embarrass me-”

“Yeah!” Louis repeated angrily as he squinted his eyes to Jay’s breezy expression, her lips turned in the stupidest fashion that told Louis she was mocking him as she snorted.

“You’re worse than a grumpy old woman, I swear! Starting to act like your Nan more and more everyday.” Louis couldn’t bother to entertain Jay with another reason to hit him, so he kept his lips sealed tightly shut as he wallowed in his self-pity.

He couldn’t believe he’d been so dense to think that everything was actually going to turn out perfectly in himself getting to fully be with Harry, their plans of the future, older Harry and his friends loving Harry just as much as Louis did. But wasn’t that how life worked? It was the first to build us up only to knock us down to have a sick, twisted little laugh at the struggle people have to go through just to maintain their sanity in not tossing themselves from the side of a bridge in a vain effort to escape it all.

“This is the house?” Jay interrupted suddenly as Louis bent to look to the towering mansion of a house before the car as he trailed over the pink balloons hanging from the porch rails and the mailbox, sighing.

Great, he was walking to his death in a pink hell full of glitter and makeup as well.

  
  


Meeting Liam’s eyes miserably across the table, Louis sighed as he lay his cheek back to his palm as both boys longed to be anywhere but sat round Eleanor’s dining room table; naked at the feet of a monster if not there! But as Louis turned his eyes to the mums cackling and gossiping to the end of the table as Eleanor and all her stupid friends giggled loudly to the presents that she ripped open with a loud squeal of excitement, Louis was ready to go home within five minutes of the entire bullshit escapade. He’d walked in with Jay only to be smothered by Eleanor’s arms as she began to bounce and bubble to how she knew he’d come because they were meant to celebrate together, and now Louis was stuck.

The house was massive, and while he’d managed to escape in one venture to the bathroom, Eleanor was shredding paper and tossing away bows as she cackled to the presents she’d begged her friends buy for her. Fixing his eyes to Jay in desperation, Louis yawned in vain attempt of signaling Jay that she had promised she would only stay for a bit to socialize, yet Louis knew it was a lie as Jay accepted another glass of wine. Pulling a face to Liam, Louis jerked hard with his head toward the darkened hallway as another scream rose from Eleanor’s chair at the head of the table as she pulled back the wrapping paper to reveal a trashy pop CD she’d been eagerly waiting for.

Liam seemed to smile hopefully as he shook Danielle’s hand away from his arm as he and Louis stood simultaneously to rush from their chairs and collide in the hallway, either boy clinging to the other as they stormed through the kitchen and to a small toilet, the door snapping shut behind them as Liam made sure to lock them both in before he was sat to his heels.

“This is dreadful.” Liam pouted lowly as Louis nodded and put the seat of the toilet down as he gingerly sat, his hands smoothing slowly across his face as he noted the obvious tension radiating off of Liam’s shoulders and guarded expression.

“So you and the other lads hate me now, right?” Louis questioned gently as Liam averted his eyes, his fingers tangling together nervously as Louis drew a deep breath to expand his lungs in willing away the wave of dread casing his mind.

“We don’t hate you-”

“Why are you lying?” Louis snapped as Liam held his hands up gently.

“You’re just scaring us, Louis! We dunno what’s happened to you, but you’ve changed!”

“I haven’t, though!” Louis defended lowly as he turned bleary eyes to Liam’s guarded expression, Liam shaking his head slowly as he swallowed carefully.

“You can’t see it, but the rest of us can.” Liam dropped his eyes again to his hands as he sighed, hating to be the first of this position. “We’re scared for you, and we’re scared of the things you’re seeing and you’re going through, because they’re not normal-”

“I didn’t ask to see them!” Louis exploded as he quickly stood, Liam taking the time to stand to his feet as well as he locked Louis within his gaze intently.

“But you’re seeing them, and you know why! Why won’t you fix it? Why are you choosing to suffer alongside _him_ -”

“It’s not his fault.” Louis growled as he stepped dangerously to Liam with a fire in his eyes that rendered Liam speechless, his knees beginning to shake again as he thought back to Louis’ crazed gaze from the earlier adventure through the fog and the trees and the _blood_.

“What’s _happening_ to you?” Liam whispered frightfully as Louis shook his head and snatched for the doorknob, wrenching the lock free as he fought from the small confinement, Liam’s fingers snatching to the back of Louis’ blazer as Louis shook himself free.

The truth was, Louis didn’t know what was happening and he hated to admit that he knew Liam was right. He couldn’t stand it! He couldn’t stand that so much darkness seemed to follow Harry where ever he went, but most of all, Louis couldn’t stand that so many obstacles were standing in his way of trying to keep Harry parted. Louis loved Harry with every ounce of his being, and it hurt to think of ever waking a day when he realized it was for the better that he would have to let him go. Storming back into the dining room, Louis crashed to his chair as he quickly averted his eyes from Jay’s dangerous and tipsy glare as he dug the toes of his dress shoes further to the plush, Persian rug as Eleanor screamed gently in excitement.

“And this one is from Louis and Mrs. Tomlinson!”

“Louis was the one to help me pick it out!” Jay encouraged as Eleanor smiled to Louis who simply kept his eyes trained to his hands and fingers nervously picking to the fabric of the sleeves of his blazer. The room was growing smaller and warmer, and Louis knew that his mind wouldn’t let him rest that night, Liam’s entrance quiet and unannounced as he took his place next to Danielle who immediately fought to touch to Liam’s arm again.

“Well open it then!” Another girl prodded as Eleanor nodded and tore her eyes away from Louis’ vacant being, her hands tearing the pretty paper and bow away as she turned over the tiny makeup kit within her hands before she was quickly hugging it to her chest much to the delight of her parents that smiled and sipped quickly to their tall glasses of liquor.

“Thank you Mrs. Tomlinson! Louis, this is perfect!” Eleanor gushed as she ran her fingertips to the pretty, covered colors and the many brushes that the other girls gathered around and drooled over to her shoulder.

Looking to Jay quickly, Louis raised his eyebrows, quietly begging to be released from this prison as he never once looked to the girl flinging the makeup kit to the table before her as she rounded the table and nearly yanked Louis from his chair.

“You knew exactly what I wanted!” Eleanor praised lowly as Louis’ face crumpled, his hands locking tightly about her upper arms as he turned his face away with a pained smile.

“You’re welcome-”

“Louis, you’re so cute!” Eleanor praised as her palms smacked to either of Louis’ cheeks before wrenching his surprised face to her direction, her sticky, wet lips encased around Louis’ as Louis’ eyes widened in shock and horror.

A rise around the table started as the mums began giggling wildly, Jay’s hand raised to the base of her throat as she cackled in amusement to the sight of Louis’ face rising in color, Eleanor’s parents smiling and drinking faster to their liquor as they watched their daughter smash her face further to Louis’. Louis couldn’t believe this shit, his heart beginning to thrum faster within his chest in the moment of embarrassment as his hands quickly met to Eleanor’s shoulders as he shoved. _Hard_.

“What are you doing?” Louis exploded as Jay and some of the other mums stood to Eleanor’s panicked gasp and loud wail of surprise, her bum knocking hard to the floor as Louis angrily swiped to his lips.

“Eleanor, are you alright?”

“Louis!” Jay demanded as she smacked her wine glass back to the table, her wobbling stance fighting around the rise of the other mums and Eleanor’s parents as her fingers snatched just to the back of Louis’ blazer before he was throwing it off of his shoulders with his cheeks burning hotly.

“I told you I didn’t want to come, and you just _sat_ there!” Louis accused as Jay raised her eyebrows angrily and again lurched to lock around Louis’ arm before Louis was smacking her away and spinning for the front door, Jay’s ankle twisting in those stupid heels in trying to copy her son’s method of escape as Liam stood with wide eyes to the other boy littered in a flare of crimson hinting within his eyes that were darkening with everyday that passed.

How could she just _sit_ there? Allowing the tears to run his cheeks in humility, Louis again wiped his mouth as he tore through the house to quickly throw open the front door to expose himself to the cold twilight, Jay’s angry shouts of his name echoing throughout the house behind him as Louis’ feet carried him away. Louis was set up to go, to look like a fool and to be laughed at while Eleanor used him any damn way she wanted, and Liam and his mum had just sat there, letting it happen.

Streaking down Eleanor’s quiet and rich street, Louis’ arms pedaled at his sides as he coughed loudly to the choking of his own breath strangling his throat, his eyebrows drawn thickly over his forehead as he thought over Liam’s words that seemed to cascade his mind and never allow him a moment of peace to the dwindling pass of day’s pale kiss. Louis had always known it, but Harry wasn’t good for him, and the further murky nature of the fog and the way he was unable to find himself and the other boys that seemed to tangle and lose themselves as well further proved his theory. If he didn’t pull himself together, Louis would drag the other boys through the muck and the mud as well until they were all so drowned and filthy, they’d never tell what was and what wasn’t anymore.

But Louis needed Harry. Louis couldn’t just deny himself of the only thing that had taken away the darkness of his life, and yet he couldn’t be stupid to the darkness that Harry had brought into his life as well. Twisting quietly through the hills of the tiny neighborhoods of the upper village, Louis could see below the roofs of the houses lined to Harry’s street as well as his own house glowing as a beacon below that. It wasn’t fair to be faced with such a dreadful and horrible realization this young, because all Louis had wanted to do was go to bed. Willing his feet run faster, Louis never bothered to wipe away the tears anymore as a few cars passed to flash their headlights to Louis before he veered from the road to cut through the trees, his fingers and hands swiping and biting to branches and low hanging, sharp twigs that snatched at his button up as he pondered to the thought of whether he was promised that the monster would truly leave him if he were to leave.

He’d never tell anyone, he’d never make it obvious, but one day Louis would wake to step out his front door to never return home again. Louis would find himself sat by the sea, or cuddled in the mountains within the fresh pine trees as he watched the world twist and collide dangerously within itself below, because only away would Louis find himself. Avoiding Harry’s street all together, Louis crashed through to the main road that would lead to his street as his shoes squished to the grassy lane down the center of the road, the vision of the once entertaining tightrope leading from one cliff to another no longer holding the same meaning as Louis wondered what would’ve been truly waiting to the other side.

Breaking off to his own street, Louis paid no attention to the fact that he felt he was going to retch until he was panting before his front door, his muddied and ruined shoes kicked off by the front door as his fingers clumsily grasped for the doorknob in allowing him grant to the warmth of the home he’d only wanted to stay in, because Louis was _scared_.

“Jay? That you?” Mark called from the front room as he slung Lottie up to his shoulder before turning into the entrance hall, his eyes widening to the sight of Louis’ sickly face as Mark quickly set Lottie to her feet as she rushed to cling to the legs of her trembling brother. “Lou? Where’s mum?”

“I don’t care.” Louis hissed as he angrily tracked his sleeve across his cheeks as he fumbled weakly to undo the buttons of his shirt, Mark’s hand shakily reaching toward Louis’ hair as Louis wrenched away before peeling Lottie from his legs in his effort of simply locking away to his bedroom.

“Louis, stop and talk to me! Did you come home by yourself?”

“I didn’t have a choice!” Louis shouted as he spun angrily, his eyes again betraying to his weakness as Mark recoiled in surprise. “Mum is pissed out of her mind anyways!”

“What?” Mark questioned stupidly as Louis nearly crawled for his room, his shoulders bumping against the walls as he felt the darkness seep to his mind again at the mention of the slashing around his middle. It was in this moment Louis’ sock seemed to catch to a tiny claw mark bore into the wood of the hallway floor as Louis’ eyes snapped shut.

Louis realized in that moment that not only was the monster stemmed from Harry’s own darkness, but in Louis’ as well. As Anne was the monster to Harry and Harry was the carrier of the monster to Louis, Louis was quickly turning to be the monster for the other boys, and he couldn’t stand it. Swallowing back the bile, Louis managed to his room as he shut and locked the door behind himself before collapsing to his knees with the mind numbing knowledge of what he’d have to do, but he didn’t know if he could.

It took time to fall between the sheets, but Louis never slept. As the night passed and Jay managed to sloppily park the car halfway up on the curb, Louis’ knees drew tighter to his chest at her fist banging to his bedroom door before Mark was there shouting that she shouldn’t have been so daft at exposing Louis to something that he hadn’t wanted to do all for a time to get cozy with the other mums and get pissed. Yet even as Jay chose to slam the front door on her way to get back in her car to dangerously swerve down the road and Mark sighed in putting a bawling Lottie to bed, Louis only flinched to the tiny tap that came to his window through the cold beyond.

In the muted light of the moon Louis knew what it was, and he could only push his face further into his pillow and hope that his tears wouldn’t keep anyone from sleep other than himself. It pained him as a shock was sent through his body every time the tapping grew further frenzied before it was suddenly gone with the whistling of a strong wind that shook the house completely through, Louis’ head never raising from the pillow as he longed that the tapping would come back. Louis knew if the tapping where to happen again, even just once, this time he would open the window; the only sign that Harry had been there that night and _denied_ entrance.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.”

  
  


[The House Of Sleep](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rjq9BqoItH0)

 

 

It was inevitable, really.

The pit of Louis’ stomach couldn’t help but churn uncomfortably as his cheek squished further to his desk in the awkward silence of being alone. Blinking hard, Louis flinched to the sounds of the other children outside running through the playground without a care in the world, simply being young. And yet there he sat with his hands clasped tightly around his middle, simply trying to stay put together. Of course Jay was still mad at Louis for the shit he’d pulled at Eleanor’s birthday, and while she’d apologized profusely to the rich snobs that shunned her immediately after, Jay wasn’t stupid to think that she would ever have another “in” as to what it was like to live to the top of the hill.

Louis didn’t even mind that Jay wasn’t speaking to him, because _he_ wasn’t speaking to her. Louis was still muffled into shock at the fact that Eleanor kissing him had been such a big joke, and it still raised a sickly feeling in the back of his throat that anyone could’ve seen how uncomfortable he was and just… laughed. Blinking away the tears that curled to the base of his skull and forced a gripping pain of a coming headache, Louis sighed to the thought of what Harry’s face must’ve looked like as Louis hadn’t let him in. He must’ve thought Louis was asleep, or Louis couldn’t hear through the wind and the coming storm that night, but Louis had heard everything. It seemed as if Louis hadn’t slept in the days since, and he could nearly hear color at this point, his eyes watching through the window to the clouds swirling dark and angry overhead as he thought of what it would be to walk home that day.

Since the party, Louis had managed to convince Mark to take a few days off from work to drop Louis off and pick him up, but the charade had only lasted so long before he was destined to lose. Harry had only come the first night, but not a night since and Louis still had this feeling of dread as if Harry already knew the things Louis was torn into thinking. Lips parting quickly to the ripping pain flowing throughout his middle, Louis whimpered to his desk as he pressed his forehead tightly to the cool surface, a pair of gentle feet approaching to the doorway before they paused in confusion.

“Louis?” Mrs. Austin questioned softly as Louis’ fingers dug further to his sides, Mrs. Austin stepping cautiously forward as her hand to Louis’ shoulder never even made him flinch. “Louis? You alright? Why aren’t you outside playing?”

“What’s the point?” Louis croaked as Mrs. Austin slowly squatted to his side, Louis immediately turning his face toward the window again as Mrs. Austin’s hand slid down his spine.

“Do you need to talk about something?”

“What’s the point?” Louis repeated again in nothing but a slight utterance of breath as Mrs. Austin’s face crossed in worry, her skin brightened from the dull state it had been as her hair again fell healthy and full around her shoulders.

“Louis-”

“Mental!” A voice laughed obnoxiously as Louis and Mrs. Austin perked to the sounds of feet trailing loudly down the hallway toward the respective classrooms to collect their rucksacks for the end of the day walk for the busses.

“Do you need to see the nurse?” Mrs. Austin hunted again as Louis’ lips quirked with a roll of his eyes as he slowly sat and pulled his rucksack between his feet, never quite meeting her gaze as he began swiping his things to the opened zipper. “I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me-”

“I don’t need to talk to _anyone_.” Louis snapped as he fixed Mrs. Austin within a hollowed look that made her retract slightly before she was laying a hand gently to Louis’ sticky and paled cheek.

“Louis, you look sick-”

“I’m fine.” Louis reassured as his voice slipped, the knot of his throat bobbing slightly as he yanked his face away from her grip, his attention never taken from Zayn standing at his desk as he slowly moved his things to his own rucksack.

Mrs. Austin slowly stood as she looked to Zayn as well who watched carefully back, her hand laying gently to Louis’ shoulder as Zayn snatched his things within his pack to move across the room to stand by Josh’s side as Josh giggled lowly over a story Niall had told him that had stuck with him.

It _was_ inevitable really, to be back to the lowest point Louis had experienced and then some. It wasn’t as if he could really blame the other boys for shying away from him, as he knew he was the walking death that many parents warned their kids to stay away from in fear that they’d catch the disease; because that’s what Louis felt like. Shrugging his rucksack to his back as he mingled to the flow of children on their way to the bus, Louis felt like a disease. As he passed, the other teachers looked to him with guarded expression as other children fanned as far away from him as they could, afraid if they touched Louis their arms would wither away to dust, and yet Louis still didn’t blame them.

Louis didn’t understand how he’d come to this point, but he knew it would be a hell of a fight to try and ring his head back above ground, and how was he supposed to do that when the one person that would extend their hand in helping Louis was the one that everyone was telling him to shy away from? Stumbling up the bus steps, Louis averted his eyes painfully from the bus driver that never even attempted to look back to him as his fingers tightened about the steering wheel. Even those friends that Louis hadn’t known he’d had were turning their backs in fear of the darkness dwelling to the sallow nature of Louis’ cheeks, and yet Louis decided he was just tired.

Slumping to his seat with the other boys huddled over their seats talking lowly to one another; Louis lay his forehead to the cool glass as he sniffled gently to the tears that soundlessly wound to his chin. He could remember so clearly what it felt like to hold Harry to his chest and to feel whole, and yet here he was in the same seat feeling like an insignificant smudge that the world had forgotten, and it hurt. Clutching again to his middle, Louis’ lip pouted heavily as he trembled within his seat to the engine of the bus roaring to life as the tires pulled against the wet road that would guide him home, where Louis knew there would never be peace. Louis couldn’t seek peace within his own home anymore, as he knew he would never be able to again, as his mind played to his sock catching to his own nail marks marring the perfect wood of the floors. As it seemed, if one had to look for peace anywhere outside of the home, peace simply couldn’t be found, and Louis couldn’t agree more. Closing his eyes and willing the tears to stop falling, Louis lay his head back as he sniffed and thought of the first time he’d envisioned himself flying away from the stifling village, the cascade of the wind high above London’s city limits as the ocean crawled to his fingertips and kissed to his cheeks in welcome that there was something better waiting for him, but was there really?

In that moment life seemed so overwhelming, and Louis didn’t know it could ever be so desolate and lonely, his eyes only opening to the bus door drawing to a shaky open as Niall and Josh began shoving down the aisle with Liam and Zayn somberly following, Louis’ cheeks tightened and uncomfortably dried to the tears that had made home to his skin as he followed in their shadow, many children looking to him as he passed before looking quickly away in hope that they would never have to experience the act of walking without purpose. As Louis fled the steps without a single look given to him by the boys that raced one another to their street in the promise of a day laid before the television, Louis realized he no longer served purpose for anyone, not even himself. Jay was disappointed in everything Louis had become and Mark was only ever too busy working to notice the break in the walls of his own home, and Harry-

Louis’ middle burned painfully as he ducked his head and wondered what Harry was doing at that moment, his thoughts unceremoniously answered as Louis rounded the slight curve of the road to find the small, huddled mass by the side of the road tangled within the tall grass.

“Harry?” Louis mumbled to himself as his spirit lifted so quickly Louis thought he was going to be sick, his head shaking tightly as he made to duck his eyes and casually slip past before he was drawn still to the shaky sob that filtered from Harry’s heaving back.

Without thought and without doubt, Louis immediately rushed to Harry’s side as his rucksack dropped from his back to splash to the road as he took in Harry’s hair slicked to his neck, his arms huddled to a mass before him as Louis fell next to him and moved Harry’s dripping hair back. “Harry?”

“She’s d-dead Louis!” Harry wailed loudly before his chin dipped in to the pained expression littering his face, those wide, green eyes bloodshot and puffy as Harry bent back over to hide away whatever he refused to let go of.

“What are you talking about?” Louis whispered gently as he again moved Harry’s hair back before digging his fingers to Harry’s jumper sleeve to move it from the way, Louis’ eyes widening sickly as he took in the rumpled figure and the fur matted with blood.

“’S Ginger!” Harry sniffled as he clutched tighter to the mangled body, Louis slowly growing cold and poisoned as his throat ran dry, touching gently to Harry’s arm as Harry angrily shook him away. “The monster killed her, Louis! It killed Ginger and she was innocent!”

“Harry-”

“Why don’t you just go home, yeah? Not like you want to be with me anymore anyways!” Harry exploded as he reached a bloody hand to Louis’ chest before he shoved, Louis slowly falling back to his bum as his eyes slowly traced the imprint of Harry’s hand to his jumper. “Just go home, Louis!”

“Harry!” Louis shouted suddenly as Harry stood with Ginger’s body pressed to his stomach, Harry’s face rigid and unforgiving as he began jumping and crashing through the tall thicket that nearly swallow him whole. “Harry, wait!”

Fighting to his feet, Louis never bothered to retrieve his knapsack as he dove in after Harry, his ankle twisting painfully to an uneven and slick branch rutting from the ground, but it didn’t matter. Louis could see Harry zipping through the trees before him, and Louis couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid! Harry needed Louis just as much as Louis needed him, and Harry was actually convinced that Louis didn’t _want_ him.

“Please!” Louis pleaded as his shoe again caught to an upturned root as Harry began to fade away to the mist that began to curl thickly from the canopy above, Louis’ middle seeming to stitch together bit by bit as he wove his way back to the familiar clearing.

Harry’s back was turned as Ginger lay to his side within the dirt, her stomach and throat laid bare and bloody as her wide, searching eyes remained closed to never look to Harry in that motherly way he’d always giggled over in amusement. Harry’s fingers seemed to claw through the soft mud as he openly coughed and choked to the overwhelming sadness drawing his cheeks long as Louis looked intently to the mangled body of the beautiful creature that hadn’t deserved the torture she’d endured.

Taking a cautious step forward, Louis watched as Harry continued to claw away the mud from beneath Louis’ little tree as he approached to Harry’s side before he fell to his knees heavily beside Harry, Harry’s hands never tiring as he dug a makeshift grave small enough for the body to fit as he lingered in letting go.

“What did I do wrong?” Harry questioned pitifully as Louis turned eyes to him in what seemed a new light after a very long time, Harry’s skin pale and beaded with sweat as his eyes had turned dark and haunted within the time he’d taken to realize Louis was slipping away. “Why is this happening?”

“I dunno.” Louis answered truthfully as Harry’s muddied and bloody hands raised to his cheeks before he was openly sobbing again, Louis’ arms warmly wrapping to Harry’s shoulders as he fought Harry to his chest, never bothering to move from the dirty fingers that gripped to his jumper as Harry screamed to the frustration and incomprehensible matter of what death truly was.

Tangling his fingers within the curls he never wanted to forget, Louis closed his eyes to Harry trying to further bury himself to Louis’ front as Louis rocked him slowly, his eyebrows furrowing as he took notice to the way Harry seemed to be the only one in the world that could mend the emptiness that Louis had created as it scared him. Why was it he was so dependent on someone that had appeared to his life so quickly?

Releasing Harry to Harry’s beckon, Louis watched as Harry’s face again crumpled painfully to his touch of Ginger’s body, his quick lowering of her body within the grave simply ripping Louis apart as well as the tears he hadn’t thought he’d had any left of, began to unmercifully pour down his cheeks. Though it was a sickening realization, Louis knew that Harry was breaking just as he was, and no matter who said he wasn’t supposed to be there, or that being this close to Harry was sickening or wrong, Louis knew in that instance he would never leave willingly.

His mind would always be consumed with thoughts of Harry, of Harry’s fingers tangling within his own and Harry’s soft lips pressed gently against his own with an underlying message that he would always belong to Louis, and Louis to him.

“’M so sorry Ginger.” Harry whispered softly as his eyes paled, Louis laying his chin to Harry’s shoulder as Harry ducked his head to the pain restricting his arms and pooling to the hidden bruises as he began shoveling the mud on top of Ginger’s lifeless form. “I’m so sorry I did this, and I promised I would never let anything hurt you and I let you down.”

“You didn’t do it.” Louis spoke firmly as his voice still amounted to nothing more than a whisper, Harry shaking his head quickly as his hands began ripping and slinging the mud apart as Ginger became consumed gently to the earth’s gentle hush.

“It was my fault! Just like it’s my fault the monster is coming after you, I killed her Louis! You’re stronger than she was and I’m a bad person-”

“Stop it!” Louis demanded as he fought to still Harry’s quickly working hands, his eyes tracing Harry’s profile quickly before he was pulling to Harry’s hands for Harry to face him quietly. “Stop.”

“You’ve been avoiding me, and I’ve been pretending like I didn’t know why but I do.” Harry whimpered as Louis’ breath caught, Harry’s lips pulling tightly down to the corners as he nodded gently.

Louis felt low, his eyes flicking to Ginger’s grave as he almost wished he could trade places, when Harry ripped his hands away and stood above Louis within the rain that steadily began thrumming through the trees angrily above. Standing as well, Louis reached for Harry’s hands as he again flinched away to Harry’s angry shout of frustration.

“Harry, stop-”

“Just leave Louis, isn’t that what you want?” Louis shook his head quickly as he fought forward to Harry’s front as Harry wiggled quickly away to the trees that would swallow him completely.

“Harry, no! You don’t understand!” Louis shouted after him as his feet instinctively took chase, Harry’s twisting and fast moving legs quickly leaving Louis behind as Louis’ fingers gripped within his limp fringe that fell to his forehead uncomfortably. “Harry!”

Swiping his sleeve fleetingly across his cheeks, Louis squinted through the rain that began to sheet harshly as he dove further to the trees, scanning for that head of curls that would now be sopping and downturned, Louis never once minding the mud and blood caked to his jumper front and beneath his nails.

“Harry, please!” Louis called as he raised his hands in surrender above his head. “I’m only scared, and it’s like I don’t exist anymore! I just need someone to hold my hand and tell me that I’m not the only one!”

“You’re too young to be so withered.” A voice whispered to Louis’ ear gently as the breath of a finger traced to his cheek before it was gone, Louis sniffling loudly as he stumbled forward to find the swing billowing dejectedly in the rain that slicked the rope from the high branch it was anchored.

“You’re leaving me.” Harry called suddenly to which Louis nearly crawled from his skin, his head whipping quickly to the tree Harry was nearly crouched into as his face pulled further in pain. “You have all these mates and I’m just some weird kid that’s keeping you away!”

“It’s not true!” Louis fought as he surged forward to nearly catch to the back of Harry’s jumper before Harry was gone within the tree, Louis clambering to his hands and knees and he crawled within the shelter he remembered from the first time he and Harry had hidden from a certain dragon that he’d never known to be so close. In this space, Louis saw Harry’s face for the first time and realized Harry knew _everything_ Louis did, whether Louis cared to admit to it or not.

“Don’t lie to me-”

“I’m not.” Louis rushed sadly as he sat forward to yank Harry closer by the front of his jumper, Harry giving if only a little bit to Louis’ demand as Louis’ arms cradled to his neck as Louis’ warm breath fanned to his neck. “I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“You’re thinking about it.” Harry offered in a short breath as he lay his chin to Louis’ shoulder, Louis raising about on his knees as he clung to Harry with every ounce of his being as he sought to clear away the darkness from Harry’s eyes that he’d read entirely too clearly.

“I’d never leave you.” Louis promised as Harry’s fingers dug to his back, a warm nose sliding to Louis’ neck before Harry was again sobbing to Louis’ shoulder.

“I just want to be normal, Louis!”

“You’re perfect.” Louis admitted softly as Harry shook his head and hiccupped.

“You don’t believe that-”

“Yes I do-”

“I can feel you leaving, Louis.” Harry whispered suddenly as Louis’ lips stilled, Harry sensing the change to Louis’ body as his arms and fingers clung tighter. “I dunno what I have to do to make you stay, but I can _feel_ you leaving me.”

Louis closed his eyes quickly as he only wished Harry to be still, his fingers climbing up Harry’s back softly as Harry promised himself that he wouldn’t cry until his eyes couldn’t stand to bear the pain of the burden of the death he’d caused to face. But what was the use? What was the use of trying to tell himself that he was going to be alright when he knew he wasn’t? Louis clung to Harry as tightly as he could as he listened to the rain pounding the ground just beyond their reach as Harry relaxed within his arms, Louis’ eyes closing gently to the thumping of Harry’s heart against his chest as he reveled in the sweet music he knew he would live his life by.

While he would understand that Harry brought darkness, Louis couldn’t be ignorant to the light Harry brought as well, because Harry _was_ the light. Harry was the reason for the sunrise in the morning and the twinkling stars at night, and Louis couldn’t deny that ever leaving and having to look away from that would be a stupid decision that he would never want to make. But did it make sense to be selfish and keep himself emerged in this darkness that would eventually reach up to pull the other boys down? Or should he simply give himself away to live forever locked in his misery, drowning, so that the rest of the world could pass him by as _nothing_.

“Eleanor kissed me,” Louis admitted softly as Harry’s fingers noticeably tightened to his back, the lie seeming to flow from his lips without any effort. “She did it without me wanting to, but I’ve been avoiding her and I got into trouble. My mum’s been keeping me away, and I was ashamed of what you’d think of me because of it.”

As Harry slowly pulled back, Louis ducked his head in embarrassment before he was gently coaxed to fix within Harry’s gaze again, Harry’s eyebrows drawn tightly over his forehead as he searched through Louis’ expression to the hint of truth hidden away.

“Why would you be ashamed?”

“Because it was like some sort of show.” Louis spat as his eyes welled wetly, Harry’s fingers wiping away every tear that escaped as he fought to be as close to Louis within the little space that he could. “I was so embarrassed and no one would help me, and _you’re_ the only one I like kissing.”

“Did it make you get that feeling in your stomach?” Harry questioned softly as he brought his fingers to tangle within Louis’, Louis watching the dirt and blood mingle together within their hands as he slowly became trapped to Harry’s earnest, hunter gaze. “Did that little tingle in that back of your mind that makes you wish you weren’t anywhere else come up? Were you wanting to stay there forever and never have another kiss in your life?”

“Of course not!” Louis nearly scoffed as Harry’s lips pulled to a strained smile.

“Then you have no shame-”

“I’m only _meant_ to kiss you.” Louis corrected as Harry’s eyes blinked quickly, his cheeks rising in a gentle color before he was pushing forward to quiet Louis’ lips that made to move again with his own.

And while Louis could recount every kiss he’d ever had with Harry, Louis knew this kiss was different. This kiss was urgent and begging, as if Harry were wordlessly trying to coax Louis back from the rope anchored to the side of the cliff so as to not venture to the other side in curiosity of what might be there. Slipping his eyes slowly closed, Louis’ fingers tightened to Harry’s as Harry’s nose smooshed to his cheek, Harry’s lips pulling to his own as Louis frowned in the feeling that he never wanted to ever feel like he was going to lose, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to stand it. While he understood that to be in love was something magical, Louis couldn’t help but wonder in that moment why so many people yearned for something that had the power to cripple them completely!

With the love you found, you had the power to move mountains, but God forbid that love be challenged and your entire world could hold the power to collapse in on itself! And maybe that’s what frightened Louis the most.

  
  


Standing from the makeshift bed, Louis could only smile quietly to the sun that beat to his cheeks as he looked about the grand room that housed thousands of old and weathered rocks that would tell of the time spent in the building of the magnificent castle, Harry still sprawled lazily to his back within the sheets as he tossed an arm to cover his eyes with a groan. Yawning slightly to the soft breeze billowing about the fluttering curtains caught within the draft, Louis wasn’t afraid to open the door that would lead to the lush lawns near the seaside cliff that overlooked the expansive ocean that would truly sweep them anywhere they desired to go; it was only a matter of when and how long.

Raking his fingers to his fringe to somehow angle it to a messy quiff, Louis’ eyes traveled the outside of the castle as he nodded to the craftsmanship and the turn it had taken from being a lowly pile of rock to something so elegantly perplexed of grandeur.

“You don’t have to seem so proud!” Harry called from within their tiny room as Louis laughed gently; his cheeks still tight with his tears as he craned his head back slowly to the patter of rain to his cheeks as the clouding over of the sun rendered everything dark and lifeless.

Training his eyes back to the walls of the castle, of course Louis understood that it was only a matter of time before he fell from the fantasy, but for the first time he realized he was sad. This was the first time Harry’s mind had swept them away to a magical place that didn’t house a monster attack or a dark, underlying meaning that Louis was going to dream fitfully about that night. And while it seemed that the day had been empty of them, Louis was thankful for this one good thing, the final image of the castle melting away as his eyes squinted within the dark of the coming night to the woven castle of thistles and twigs that lined the low-lying branches and cracked bark of the hollowed tree trunk that paled in comparison, yet still rendered just as beautiful.

While it wasn’t much, Louis didn’t mind to the bloody nature of his hands as Harry stood to his side with his head pressed to Louis’ forearm, Louis turning his head gently to kiss to Harry’s forehead as he frowned to the fragile instability of the sticks, and yet the beauty and danger of the thistles as he thought over how truly accurate of a representation it was of his and Harry’s _being_. There was always a part of one boy that would fight for the other, and yet it was gorgeous to watch and dangerous to touch, so what were they supposed to do? And what were they supposed to do when the wind caught just right and blew their castle of twigs and weeds over for good?

“It’s amazing.” Harry breathed as he cast a wary look to his bloodied hands as well, Louis stretching his palm out before him as Harry slowly slid their slippery palms to one another.

“Just for me and you, no monsters and no one else.”

“No sadness.” Harry finalized as Louis nodded as squeezed to Harry’s palm, Harry wincing slightly to the bite of his cuts as his eyes lingered to the flickering of the back porch light that bled loudly as a search light through the dwindling dark. “Louis?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you stay with me?” Louis nodded slowly as he looked to Harry longly.

“I’ll die before I willingly leave.”

“Is this what you want, though?” Harry wondered aloud as Louis took a moment to think it over before his mind was clouded with an older Harry stretched beside him in bed as those gorgeous dimples placed to his cheeks, his eyes crinkled in amusement as his stomach rose and fell in constriction to his tight laughter. “Forever?”

“I’d die without you.” Louis admitted gently as Harry nodded quietly, his bottom lip worrying between his teeth as he sighed and twisted around Louis’ middle, his nose buried to Louis’ cheek as Louis’ fingers clung with every breath he could muster to Harry’s jumper, as he _knew_.

“My mum is calling for me, but I don’t think you should go.”

“She wouldn’t have me.” Louis chuckled as he looked to his hands leaving a bloody mess to Harry’s back. “She’ll turn me away at the door.”

“Then I’ll come with _you_.” Harry fought as Louis gently shook his head and smiled, his nose pressing to the small space of skin beneath Harry’s ear as he breathed in the sweet smell of his skin.

“You’ll see me tomorrow, and we’ll lay together until you’re called away again.”

“And the next day, then?” Harry questioned softly as Louis nodded.

“And the next day will be the same until I’m able to take you away.”

“Will we be better when we’re grown?” Harry asked softly as Louis squeezed his eyes tightly together before nodding, knowing instantly that the dream he had would never possibly come true, no matter how hard he wished and kicked himself to how naïve he’d been about growing up the entire time.

“We’ll be _free_.”

“Just take me with you.” Harry decided as he pressed himself tightly to Louis’ chest, Louis clinging back to Harry with as much strength as he could muster as both boys perked to the sound of the kitchen door upon the deck being wrenched open.

“I wouldn’t leave without you-”

“Harry!” Anne called angrily as she attempted to squint through the dark, her attention focused in completely the opposite direction. “It’s been raining and I’ve been calling you! Get your arse in this house immediately!”

“Promise?” Harry whimpered through the tears that threatened to again fall as Louis gulped and nodded, his palms stinging horribly as he kissed to Harry’s neck without wanting to get blood to anymore of Harry’s body that day that wasn’t already covered in Ginger’s.

“Promise-”

“Harry!”

“You can’t break it Louis, no matter what gets in the way.” Harry whispered as Louis’ face twisted particularly through the dark, Harry’s eyes still gleaming smartly as he gently brought his lips to cover Louis’ for only a brief second before he was pulling away with a telling look to his eyes. “No matter what.”

Reaching a hand to snatch Harry back as Louis only wanted to cuddled up within the hollowed castle stump again, Louis watched as Harry tripped to the clearing to stand within the flooding of the porch light as Anne screamed to the sight of her son covered in blood, Louis taking it as his queue to leave as he spun on his heel only to freeze to the pair of dangerous, red eyes watching him angrily. Shivering in the rain that still curled from the leaves above, Louis watched as the monster lowered itself into a pounce as that forked tongue licked across wet, snared lips, a mat of greasy black fur tangling between the raised and cracked horns as Louis took no time in slipping to the mud in his haste of running back for the road that seemed as if it were miles away.

Lighting to the sound of heavy paws pounding behind him, Louis twisted through the trees with a single scream of pain as a heavy claw ripped to his ankle, Louis instantly away to the sensation of the blood trickling to his sock and well within his shoe, his balance shaken as he stumbled to his knee only to crawl for a mere second before shooting back to his feet as Louis’ jumper sleeve was snatched to a sharp tooth that cut across his wrist longly.

“Leave me alone!” Louis screamed as he swung a fist back to connect to a wet snout that resounded in a blood curdling roar that even froze Harry in his step to his kitchen doorway, his eyes wide in looking to Anne before she snatched him by the back of the neck and nearly threw him into the house, Louis’ feet never taking time to pause as another swipe of a paw threw Louis head first into a protruding branch that connected to his cheek and tore the skin painfully.

Trying his best not to cry, Louis couldn’t help but wail to the overwhelming sense of being sucked down a deep vat with no ladder or escape as the world seemed to grow quiet in the darkness, the final shred of light falling away from the trees as Louis was immersed in a maze of solitude that rendered king to the monster that preyed to his heels and managed another swipe to his heels as Louis’ blood spattered to the leaves and mud caving in his heavy steps.

Was it all truly worth it, to die for someone that we knew we wouldn’t stand another day without? As Louis was again thrown to his face with a deep growl resounded up his back, Louis couldn’t decide if he simply wanted to die, or if leaving Harry would be enough reason to make him _want_ to die in that moment. Shoving from the ground, Louis began limping as his ankles grew weak and wet with his blood that ran his trouser legs and wrist, the gash to his cheek running down his neck as Louis’ eyes grew foggy and glassy with the effort of not knowing whether he was strong enough to resist.

Dropping again to his face with the latching of a row of razor sharp teeth to the back of his ankle, Louis screamed in pain as his hands tangled to the matted black fur and yanked, a grisly horn sticking to his ribs as Louis further cringed and saw colors and stars flashing before his eyes as he realized the hole of his middle was again clawing open to Harry’s absence.

“Please!” Louis begged as he fought to kick the monster away, the monster merely sneering to his weakness as it again dove to Louis’ front as Louis managed to roll within the dirt and leaves before he was crawling up the short incline of bank before stammering to his feet in the blinding light of oncoming _headlights_.

Unable to move and frozen as a deer, Louis raised his dripping wrists before him as his ears clogged to the slamming of breaks and a shriek of recognition as his name was shouted in horror. Without warning, Louis glanced back to the side of the road as his eyes crossed woozily to the monster that was still balanced in place as if ready to kill him without any second of warning or provocation. It was an ugly bastard in that moment, uglier than before Louis realized, as he looked to the fur matted further with _his_ _own_ blood, the eyes wide, deep and a more haunting shade of red that seemed to glow within the dark as those irises bore vertical and constricted to a tight slit housed a burning fire that Louis knew would never die away.

“Louis! Oh my God!” Louis could make out as his own breathing and the cloud to his vision that rose to a subtle roar as the monster vanished with Jay’s rush to Louis’ side, the annoying ding of the car bell seeming to echo throughout the road as Liam, Zayn, Niall and Josh all crowded from the backseat only to clutch to the others arms at the sight of Louis falling weak within Jay’s arms as she fought to hold him right. “Louis? Baby, stay with me!”

“It’ll never stop.” Louis whispered as he looked to Jay with glassy eyes, Jay turning to the group of boys huddling in fear as she began barking that they retrieve her mobile and call for an ambulance, Louis’ hearing seeming to crash painfully back into his skull the moment he took notice of those eyes slung _upside down_ to the trunk of the nearest tree as the monster took form of a cat clawed into the bark, a _demon_ watching with a head twisting completely backward and deformed, watching him carefully with a devilish smirk.

Shrieking in terror, Jay fought to hold Louis to her arms as Louis kicked and scratched to get away, his lips cracked and bleeding as the gash to his face ran wildly to Niall’s panicked call for an ambulance was lost to his own terrified wails of not knowing what to do to Louis completely coming unbent. To any that were shadowed with the light, they would _never_ see the darkness or the _eyes_ with which the darkness watched back.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	20. A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Claw marks all over my back, blood rushing to my head; a grave of our own. When do you show your face? Is it in the trees looking down? Scenes of deep red, green fields and I’m home again? But I’m still confused.”

  
  


[Dreamland](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-kqRybeWN0)

 

 

Blinking, Louis thought of how weird it was to truly blink. Each second our eyes were shutting and opening so rapidly that we weren’t even aware that we’re doing it or seeing it happen, and yet Louis blinked again as he immediately squinted to the light that flickered and popped to life over his head.

“My sweet boy.” Jay’s voice urged as she came to stand to Louis’ side as Louis moved his face away from her hands that pried to touch him, to reassure that Louis was still whole in one piece as she looked over the bandages wrapped tightly to Louis’ wrists that lay limply on top of the sheets.

“I want to go home.” Louis demanded with a weak voice as Jay nodded and sat softly to the edge of the mattress, her fingers tracing down Louis’ arm slowly as she squinted to the bandage that was clasped tightly over Louis’ swollen and shiny cheek.

“In a bit darling, I just want them to run a test or two, okay?” Louis rolled his eyes slightly to Jay’s speaking to him like a baby as he snatched his face to the opposite direction as Jay tried to touch his bandage, her sigh flowing around the room as she fidgeted nervously.

“D’you wanna tell me yet what happened to you?”

“I’ve _told_ you.” Louis sighed weakly as he turned furrowed brows and firm expression to Jay’s wide eyes angrily. “You haven’t believed me all the other times you’ve asked, so why would I repeat myself?”

“Still about the monster.” Jay whispered slightly as she looked with doubt to the bandages of Louis’ wrists that told of another story.

Fixing his eyes wordlessly back to the clock that ticked loudly upon the wall, Louis wondered how Zayn, Niall, Liam and Josh were doing, as they’d rode in the car with Louis after Jay had showed up panicked to Zayn’s doorstep with her hair balanced in a crazy fashion about her head when Louis had never come home. They’d stayed for only a bit as it had taken a long time for the doctors to calm Louis down, but they’d never once offered to step into the room to stroke to Louis’ hair or offer their sweet words of condolences, rather almost tripping over themselves in their haste to leave. It was odd how other children could sense danger and death, the odor pungent and choking, and yet adults couldn’t.

Watching the minute hand slowly wind the face of the clock, Louis couldn’t stand to look at the sterile white room any longer, the curtains, the sheets, the walls, the floor and even the chairs were white, and yet all he could see in his head were splashes of a glowing crimson that twisted sickly from a darkened perch up a tree. Thinking over how mad it all truly was and how dramatically Louis’ life had changed from being a little depressed to being completely mad, he couldn’t help but shake his head to the tiny tear that rolled down his cheek as Jay watched it quietly cling to Louis’ chin.

“Jay?” A deep voice called as Jay stood quickly and rushed to the man stood within the doorway, her hands snatching up Louis’ medical chart from the foot of the bed as she went.

“Paul, thank God.”

“Hello, Louis!” The doctor called from around Jay to Louis as Louis simply kept his eyes trained to that running minute hand. “How’s he doing?”

“He’s quiet and withdrawn-” Jay’s hand flew to cover her mouth as her face crumpled in defiance, the doctor’s hand laying to her shoulder as he patted to her scrubs gently.

“Jay, we can have other nurses assist-”

“He’s my son!” Jay hissed stubbornly as Paul, the doctor, nodded before gently taking Louis’ chart and flipping through the papers with a raised eyebrow.

“So what’s he here for other than the lacerations to his ankles and wrists? I see you’ve ordered for an MRI, but it looks as though these marks were consistent with marks he’s gotten before?” Jay nodded quickly as Paul fixed her to a confused look. “We don’t need an MRI for a few cuts-”

“He just-” Jay hesitated as she quickly looked to Louis over her shoulder before stepping closer to Paul with a lowered voice and a tear within her eye. “Louis’ been talking about seeing this monster after he became friends with this new little boy, and every time he’s brought up this “monster” he ends up with cuts all over his body! And his hands-”

“His hands seem to be from a plant due to all the little needles we extracted.” Paul muttered gently as his eyes trained to Louis’ medical records, his eyes running the lines slowly as Jay grew frustrated.

“Did you not look at the cuts, then? They’re everywhere and they’re bloody _massive_ -”

“Jay, an MRI is a serious thing and if he doesn’t need it then don’t traumatize him-”

“Damn it, Paul!” Jay exploded suddenly as even Louis jumped, Paul raising a hand as if to calm her down, a nurse’s aid stood to Paul’s flank offhandedly raising her eyebrows in distaste. “I just want to know that my eight-year-old son isn’t trying to kill himself!”

Louis’ eyes closed slowly as Paul nodded and stepped toward Jay, his lips moving slowly as he indicated gently toward her scrubs before jabbing a finger over his thumb in dismissal, Jay watching to him incredulously as Paul’s cheeks grew dark with color and frustration to why he was always hesitant of having his staff on call when a family member was admitted. Listening to the squeak of Jay’s shoes working against the sterile while tiles of the floor, Louis kept his composure in never moving as Jay gently kissed to his forehead with a sniffle.

“I’ll be close behind you, love, alright? I can’t come in and set you up for the test, but I’ll be watching just beyond the glass, yeah?”

“What are you doing to me?” Louis grit quietly as his eyes sliced to a grimace that Jay’s lips pouted to sadly, her eyes growing bleary to how tiny and innocent Louis looking lying in the bed as she drew a shuddered breath, her fingers trailing through his hair lightly as she winced in shared pain of the throbbing to Louis’ cheek.

“They’re going to take a quick shot of your brain, just make sure nothing was hurt-”

“You think I’m mad.” Louis interrupted as he stared condescendingly to Jay as Jay shook her head, a tight sniffle signaling the bullshit she was about to feed him.

“I just want to make sure the monster didn’t hurt you, sweetheart.”

“You don’t believe the monster’s real, mum.” Louis snapped as he wrenched his head from Jay’s grasp, Jay closing her eyes slowly as she swiped deftly to the tears that tracked and tightened her skin and burned to her already bloodshot eyes.

“Just know I’ll be a step away if you need me.”

In that moment, Louis thought of a million nasty things he could’ve replied with, yet decided that though he was the one laying in the bed about to be x-rayed and turned inside out, Jay was the one that needed to be sheltered and reminded that everything was okay, so Louis never bothered. Again averting his eyes to the clock, Louis shuddered to Jay being shooed from the room as a flock of nurses surrounded his bed and began unhooking him from different machines and getting Louis ready to be moved.

“You alright then?” A young nurse questioned gently as Louis nodded, his eyes fixing to her gentle face as she patted to the back of Louis’ hand that wasn’t occupied by a large needle drawing his blood. “We’ll make this as quick as we can and have you on your way home, okay Louis?”

Louis nodded again as the bed was raised so that he was seated upright, the blood rushing back to the rest of his body sending a tingling to his toes and fingers as Louis passed a glance to the young doctor that still stood flicking through his medical records.

“Bloody ridiculous.” Paul muttered as a nurse passed by to pat him on the shoulder, Paul snapping the chart shut quickly as he walked to Louis’ bedside before patting the sheet gently. “Alright then, we’ll get you in and out because I think your mum’s overthinking things.”

“Live with her.” Louis bit sarcastically as Paul raised his eyebrows in horror to the thought, a slight chuckle passing between the two as Paul attached the record back to the foot of bed before signaling that they were to all move. Looking in panic to what he had no idea of what was to come, Louis’ gaze met with the sweet nurse from before as he patted to her arm gently with a wince to the skin that still sat raw beneath. “Will I be alright?”

“Of course!” The nurse seemed to marvel as she gathered Louis’ hand within both of hers and smiled sweetly, Louis squinting to the bright light of the hallway as the team of nurses smiled to Jay as she was kept at bay by her coworkers. “We’re just going to take your picture really quick and send you home with some fresh bandages!”

“Will I have to smile? In the picture?” Louis questioned gently as the nurse laughed and shook her head.

“I’d imagine you could if you’d like, but we’re more interested on what’s going on _inside_.”

“You’re going to see my brain?” Louis breathed in disbelief as the nurse smiled and opened Louis’ palm slowly to look over the healing and tiny incisions from the imprint of the thistle’s thorns.

“If all goes right, we’ll see exactly what a young boy’s brain looks like!”

“Will you be able to see my thoughts? My memories and stuff?” Louis questioned quickly as he thought of the staff that would innocently take a picture before ringing in the horror of the monster that would flash to their screen, telling them that Louis wasn’t crazy.

“I’m not sure we’ve created anything that far advanced yet, but if I see anything I’ll tell you first.” The nurse giggled as she winked sweetly, Louis nodding quickly as he settled back to his pillows, the skin of his arms instantly prickling to how much cooler it was as he was wheeled to a large room with a huge piece of equipment laid directly in the middle.

“In there?” Louis choked as the nurse again patted his hand and nodded. “Can I change my mind?”

“Sorry, but your mum wants this done.” The nurse apologized as she looked to Paul through the small glass window as he was seen demanding Jay sit and stop blathering about worthless bullshit that was going to distract him from properly reading the brain scans. “If you’d like a sweet-”

“He can’t have a sweet in there.” An older nurse snapped as she stood to the head of Louis’ bed, Louis frowning to the younger nurse’s face immediately falling as she was soon shooed from the room by another older nurse who rolled her eyes in turning back to yanking the IV from Louis’ hand. “Alright Mr. Louis, we’re going to stick these little buggers to your head and slide you into the machine.”

“What will they do?” Louis questioned nervously as his hands began to shake, the older nurse giving a slight shrug of her shoulders as she smiled wickedly.

“Give us sight into that little noodle of yours.”

“Noodle.” Louis deadpanned to the audacity of this woman talking to him as if he were an idiot.

“Your head-”

“Yeah.” Louis interrupted with a frown as the cranky woman’s lips pinched tightly, her fingers working to stick little suction cups to either of Louis’ temples as Louis’ eyes widened with his effort of sitting up. “Actually, I don’t think-”

“Now, now.” Another nurse that seemed to appear from nowhere coaxed as she pushed Louis back to lie to his bed as Louis’ heart began to slam to his ribs. “Lets not get testy.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore!” Louis panicked as he again fought to sit up as Jay’s hand rose to cover her mouth, Paul looking to her with distaste in his eyes as the nurses turned to him for further instruction as Louis began to kick and wail helplessly. “Mum!”

Louis’ breath began to rush from his lips in short gasps as he fought to the hands of the nurses that eased him from his hospital bed to the cold slab of the machine that shocked to Louis’ skin frightfully.

“Mum, please!” Louis shrieked suddenly as he jumped to a tight restraint falling to both of his bandaged ankles as the tears of panic and fright began running his cheeks. “I just want to go home!”

“Louis, it’s alright!” A soft voice spoke gently as Louis was again shoved to his back to lie by the cranky older nurse whose eyes were completely void of feeling as she fought to strap Louis’ other wrist down. “I’m right here.”

“Please.” Louis whimpered as the young and sweet nurse smoothed a gentle hand to his forehead as she smiled sadly, her heart shattering to a million pieces as she only longed to take Louis’ place.

“You’ll be alright, just a quick test-”

“I can’t.” Louis pleaded with a crack in his voice as he jumped to his other wrist being restrained; Louis’ back shoving from the table as his head smacked back to the slab that sent a cold chill to his spine. “Please mum, I’ll be good!”

Within the viewing room, Jay pressed her hand gently to the glass that separated her from her son as Paul tutted and scratched his signature unwillingly to the form of consent.

“I’ve never heard of a child being punished for getting a few scratches from a new playmate and an imagination.” Paul growled as the nurses within the testing room jumped away to Louis’ sudden sob and pulling to his restraints, his feet kicking quickly to the unforgiving metal beneath as the young nurse was yanked away by her coworkers to Louis’ frantic sobs and coughs.

“Please!” Louis shouted in willing he not be left alone as the lights were soon cut away and Louis was drenched in nothing but darkness and the growl of the machine that he could see waiting to pull him in.

“Just a final thing.” A voice promised as Louis jumped and tried to squirm away from the facial _cage_ that was being snapped into place around his head as Louis began to loudly beg for his life.

“I don’t want to die!”

“You won’t _die_.” The nurse snapped as she pushed a few buttons that began the machine to Louis’ horror, the squeak of her shoes moving from the room setting a fire beneath his ass frightfully.

“Mum!” Louis screamed again as he shivered to the cold of the slab meeting through the thin material of the hospital gown as the Paul the doctor’s voice crackled around the room from the intercom system.

“Louis, I’ll need you to calm down-”

“Please let me out! I’ll be good, I promise!” Louis hiccupped as he fought to free his head, his eyes widening to what sounded like the machine gearing up further as Paul’s fingers moved within the windowed observatory to the control panel.

“Louis, no one thinks you’re bad.” Paul soothed as Louis again fought his way free, as he never even thought to wince to the pain of the restraints tearing open the gashes of his wrists and ankles.

As the slab jerked to life, Louis was instantly aware of the sound of the room bleeding away to his stuffed hearing as his lips trembled and another breathy sob escaped his chest. Louis knew there was no point in begging, so he merely crushed his nails to the tiny cuts within his palms and prayed that his death come quickly, his eyelashes clinging heavily to the tears that littered and blurred his vision as Louis began to shriek to the heavy infliction of the machine working around him and pitching the slab uncertainly as Louis was drawn further within the core.

He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve something like this, but Louis knew it could never have been this bad! He’d not set anything on fire, or killed something and yet he was being punished! Again fighting to the restraints and the face cage, Louis knew he wasn’t crazy as he wailed and sighed to the pain blossoming as red as the blood trickling to his fresh bandages as his feet kicked and squirmed.

Time seemed to slow down as Louis was brought through the machine; his head being surrounded by what seemed the brightest light of the seemingly absent sun in a way he’d never experienced that made Louis grateful for the cloud cover. Though crying did no good, Louis knew it would make him feel better as his chest constricted and his vision grew to a tunneled mass in the light that burned and stung to the back of his head, and yet he couldn’t seem to close his eyes. Louis was paralyzed in the fear of the monster that he knew was dwelling within his blood and was holding him to this tiny space, and Louis wanted nothing more than to curl up as Lottie did, innocent of the world to sleep the day away.

Shaking and clawing his fingers against the slick metal keeping him hostage, Louis again fought vainly to free himself as the machine began to chug and slam itself into place as the light grew brighter and the faint crackle of the intercom told Louis that Paul was trying to talk to him, but it did no use. Louis wondered how humiliating it would be to piss himself a second time from being so terrified and yet couldn’t help but disregard the thought as the machine began to twist and draw closer to his face as Louis’ throat locked and the bile rose to the back of his throat.

Crying miserably and unable to wipe away the snot that formed to the dip of his upper lip, Louis tried to turn his head away from the glare that burned to the covered gash of his cheek to no avail as he felt as thought two large and muddied paws were suddenly there holding him down, Louis’ pupils dilating within the sudden dying of the light before it rose again to shadow the vision of a monster with two horns and a twisted head before his vision as Louis again felt the sensation of his thigh growing warm.

It was embarrassing to piss himself once, and yet it hadn’t been before an entire audience. Within the viewing room, Jay shook terribly as she watched Louis’ entire body tremble and grow still before he weakly tried to fight away from the puddle that slowly trickled over the side of the slab to the floor. Louis was still so young, and yet so aware of everything going on, Jay knew it was wrong to simply test Louis when she knew that nothing was wrong with him, but what else was a mother to do in order to reassure herself that everything was all right and _she’d_ not been wrong?

“Please.” Louis mumbled thickly as he began to hiccup and swallow again and again to his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth with the upcoming vomit that was on its way and would surely suffocate him if he were left on his back any longer.

The sound never returned as the machine continued to rotate and widen and narrow Louis’ pupils as a sick game of hide and seek, Louis’ knees clutched together tightly as his skin grew clammy and his face fell of any color. Louis wasn’t crazy, and though he was little, he knew the things he was seeing and he couldn’t believe that none of the other boys had stood by his side in joining that they’d seen it as well. If Louis was crazy for the fantasies and the dreams he experienced, the other boys should’ve been there as well, because the things Harry had shown them had been shown to _all_ of them. And yet as it turned out, Louis was the only one strapped down and covered in his own piss and snot as he no longer cared of the weird sensation of what it meant to blink, his eyelids swollen open as his eyes burned to the sensation of the light again flashing a sweeter image of a mirage of wide, green eyes before Louis’ vision before they were again ripped away.

This is what it meant to die, to be one of the bodies put in a coffin and lowered to the ground as the soul remained in a bout angst in not understanding the comprehension of moving into death as it watched tearfully from the confines of the small box being lowered in the earth to one day be forgotten and left. Though he wasn’t yet in the literal box, Louis knew this is what it meant to have the world cave in around you, his heart slamming into his throat as he struggled to swallow away the vomit that was persistent in making known how terrified and young Louis was. Though maybe being put in a box within the quiet kiss of the earth and the dirt wouldn’t have been so bad, Louis’ eyes unable to blink away the tear that twisted his cheek and clung from his earlobe sadly.

He wasn’t crazy.

  
  


Hands curled beneath his chin, Louis stared to the tiny port of a window within his room as his lips turned downward angrily to the annoying squeak of Jay’s work shoes moving across the tile. Louis could nearly pitch himself from the tiny window no matter the amount of work it took to his disgust of Jay even thinking of feeling bad when Louis was the one that was having to suffer in the wake of her stupidity. Jay was a selfish woman, and Louis couldn’t believe that in the choice of finding his home as a spirit, he’d been daft enough to see something worthy enough in Jay to grace her life, only to become her pincushion. Everything was her fault to this point, and Louis didn’t even have the strength to resent her verbally for it, because he was again consumed to the sight of the older Harry sat to the chair by his bed.

Swallowing with a grimace to the thick taste of the vomit still clinging to the back of his tongue, Louis moved his fingers to cover Harry’s hand quietly as Harry’s thinned cheeks sucked in slightly as his eyes traveled Louis’ face in wonder. Never before had there been such a pitiful sight of a child so far gone in years without the ability to _be_ a child, and it was painful as the image wavered before Louis’ eyes. Clinging tightly to Harry’s fingers that gripped as a vice to the sheet of the bed, Louis was sure to inhale the air of what it was to be out of the confines of that machine and sat in an open space.

“You doing okay then?” A voice coaxed just over Louis’ shoulder as a hand gently smoothed across the thin fabric of the hospital gown, Louis quickly wrenching from Jay’s grasp as Harry slowly sat back within his chair, Louis watching him carefully retract his hand. “Louis-”

“Well there’s good news!” Paul called suddenly from the door as Louis never bothered to look again from Harry’s eyes that still bore to his own and set a sense of warmth flooding down his spine to trickle unconsciously through his stomach. “The MRI came back clean, Louis’ blood came back clean-”

“And the evaluation I asked for?” Jay cut in quickly as she tossed a glance to Louis over her shoulder before Paul was looking to her with wide disbelief as he snapped the testing folder quickly shut.

“You want to send that scared little boy in to talk to a damn _shrink_?”

“You’ve found there’s nothing chemically or physically wrong, what if-”

“Go home, Jay.” Paul interrupted roughly as he moved the folder from Jay’s reaching fingers. “Take Louis home, put him in bed with a nice cup of tea and leave him alone for the night. I’d say its safe to tell the difference between a bout of depression and when a child is mentally unstable.”

“Depression?” Jay whispered quietly as Louis stretched his hand out for the comfort of Harry’s larger as Harry frowned to the tears gathering to brim to his eyes.

“You’re that blind?” Paul scoffed as he again used the folder to point to Louis. “Take him home and maybe give him a cuddle? Take a few days off as well, I’ll make sure to find someone to cover your shift.”

“Paul-”

“You’re going to argue _spending_ time with your son?” Paul’s eyebrows rose to his forehead as Jay ducked her head shamefully to Paul brushing past to stand to Louis’ side, Jay shortly excusing herself to find Louis a wheelchair and his clothes. “How are you Louis?”

“I want to go home.” Louis answered firmly as Paul nodded in understanding, Louis’ eyes forever focused to Harry fading away sadly before he was turned to his back to Paul lifting his ankles and wrists to check the clean, fresh bandages. “Am I crazy?”

“I’ve dealt with a lot of loons, and I don’t think you’re one of them.” Paul laughed as Louis nodded quietly, Paul’s eyes tracing the sunken bags beneath Louis’ eyes and the pale, clammy condition of his skin as he gently sat to the edge of the bed. “Is there something you feel you need to say that maybe you’re afraid to say to your mum and Mark? Something you’re not supposed to tell because you were told not to?”

“I’m not being hit.” Louis shot as Paul’s eyes widened slightly before he was nodding, rubbing a large hand to the stubble lining his chin as he chuckled.

“I’ve forgotten how smart you are, seeing that Jay’s constantly bragging on how quick and bright you are.”

Louis couldn’t think of anything “smart” to say as he shyly settled his eyes to Jay wheeling in the fresh clothes Mark had brought during the night in the tiny, children’s sized wheelchair that had a slight squeak to the wheels as Paul stood and smiled to Louis gently.

“Well Louis, keep the bandages clean and get a bit of rest and I think you’ll heal up just fine.”

“Thanks Paul.” Jay mumbled as she smiled through tight lips, Louis nearly begging to stay where there were constantly people alert and about walking around incase he grew afraid of the dark, yet he knew he couldn’t.

“Remember what I said.” Paul warned as he snatched up Louis’ files and charts and heavily walked from the room, Jay looking Louis over softly before her face seemed to harden, her fingers shaking out a jumper and a pair of trousers toward Louis as her eyes grew dark and desolate.

“Here, get dressed and we’ll get you home for some soup and sleep.”

“I don’t need sleep.” Louis fought as he gently clambered from the side of the bed to stand, his mind never allowing him to feel embarrassed as he stripped to his underwear and carefully made his legs step to either of the trouser legs as he crammed to his shoes, still careful to avoid touching the bandages as the jumper easily slipped over his messy and dirty hair.

“Louis, just shove off with the bullshit for right now, okay? I just want some peace.”

Louis looked to Jay with disgust in his eye as he nearly crawled from his skin, Jay’s fingers running slowly through her hair as she sighed and rubbed to her cheeks, Louis’ throat tightly constricting as he bundled the gown to the middle of the bed before carefully sitting to the wheel chair that Jay began forcibly pushing from the room into the glare of the hallway.

Louis wanted to cry, but knew at this point there would be no tears left to give. He felt pitiful and he was embarrassed and scared, but what was he supposed to do when there was no one who would listen? It was as if Louis were trying to give all the subtle hints that he could, screaming out in pain, and yet everyone chose to simply turn the other way in fear of a little blood and guts.

Smiling tightly to the nurses that patted Jay to the back and cooed over Louis as they left, Louis couldn’t help but be drawn to sight of a brief and familiar pair of obnoxiously big, stupid ears stuck from beneath an unruly head of brown hair before the door was closed to the loud, shaking cough that seemed to trail down the hallway as Louis craned his neck in effort of wondering if he’d merely been seeing things. Frowning, Louis and Jay were quiet as they rode in the elevator to the lobby of the hospital as the doors slowly opened to reveal an older Harry clinging to Louis’ hand tightly as he walked slowly in pace to Jay’s easy step of pushing Louis for the car in the cold mist sleeting from the clouds rolling darkly overhead.

Closing his eyes and leaning his head back in thankfulness to the cool of the coming Winter, Louis reveled to the sweat beaded to his forehead cooling and drying tightly as Jay’s fingers gripped tightly beneath Louis’ armpit in helping him to the passenger side of the car before she was waving and smiling to the young nurse’s assistant that came to collect the wheelchair with a grin. And though Louis knew the Hell was over, it was obvious the Hell was only just beginning as Jay slid to the driver’s seat only for Louis to glance from the corner of his eye to older Harry slumped and relaxed in the backseat.

“Could use a nap.” Jay mumbled to herself as she sparked the engine and tossed the car into drive, Louis watching sadly to the hospital fading away in the throws of London’s jumble and bustle as he nearly regretted not being crazy in order to keep away from the village that was slowly, day-by-day becoming his own prison that he couldn’t find solace within anymore.

Turning away quickly to Jay’s slight glances in his direction, Louis snatched his hand away to Jay’s tap to the back of his fingers as she sighed and gripped tighter to the steering wheel, both parties immediately aware that Louis wasn’t going to easily talk.

“So you’re just not going to talk to me? Because I’m worried about you-”

“It’s _your_ fault, all of it.” Louis snapped as Jay’s mouth fell open, her eyes widening in disbelief as the car swung onto the main drag that would carry them from the lights and life to the quiet valley and hills.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay, Louis!”

“I don’t even mean hospital!” Louis cried as he looked to Jay heavily, Jay immediately shaking her head as her lips gathered to the corners to suck painfully back to her teeth.

“You’ll not blame this shit on me, I’ve done nothing more than work my arse off for you-”

“Well maybe I just needed you to listen!” Louis hissed as he again snatched his thigh away from Jay’s gentle touch as Jay flinched, her eyes settling coldly back to the road as she frowned to the growing silence that made her skin crawl.

Without words to convey what Jay had always known, her fingers fumbled in turning the radio on to drown out some of Louis’ overbearing guilt flooding in her direction as she bit to her bottom lip and tried her best not to cry in the long stretch of the ride that seemed to drag longer than it actually should have. What was she supposed to do facing a mentally challenged child? Sure, Louis was normal but what child his age could possibly be seeing monsters and attracted to a boy that he met by the side of the road along with dealing with depression? What happened to her sweet Louis that was a rosy-cheeked child that wasn’t involved in this disgusting and scary world of adults?

And maybe that’s when Jay began to cry; as the road died down to two lanes and the trees grew thicker, Jay couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks as hre fingers grew white in their grip. It was never supposed to happen like this, and she wasn’t sure when she’d lost all control, but she knew she had. Louis was lost in his childhood, and it would never be something he’d ever be able to reclaim, and Jay wasn’t sure if she was sad for Louis or sad for herself.

“Dunno why you hate me.” Jay managed to speak as Louis’ fingers traced the inner contours of the car door as he watched the sign of the village draw closer to the front bumper of the car, his heart thrumming angrily in his chest as he bit his tongue to the large, warm hand that landed to his shoulder in fighting to keep him calm. “I think I’ve been a good mum to you, and you’re going to tell me you’re still depressed? What’ve you got to be depressed about? I give you _everything_ , and you’re still not happy?”

Louis’ teeth began to grind together painfully as his fingers locked to the handle of the door, his toes moving in frenzy to the tips of his shoes as his feet itched to get away.

“You’re so young, you probably don’t even know what it means to be depressed, yeah? I’ve sheltered you and I’ve tried to guide you, and you have absolutely no reason to hate me-” Jay cut short as the car rolled to a stop to the first stop sign of the village, Louis never hesitating in throwing the door open as his feet slammed to the pavement and the scratches to his ankles began to throb. “Louis, what the hell are you doing? Louis!”

Gripping his fingers to the cut of his palms, Louis bit off the pain as he took off for the main village, his feet smacking to the wet pavement as he never thought twice to the mist flattening his fringe to his forehead as he simply longed to get away from Jay as she slammed the car into drive after him, only to be caught behind a delivery truck that was stuck trying to back into a spot to bring in a load to a local shop. Tearing down the main sidewalk, Louis knew that Harry wasn’t with him and he didn’t mind, the bandages to his ankles and wrists growing sticky with the water leaking from about the stitch marks as the exertion proved to be more than he was able to handle having gone through the shit he’d gone through that day and the night before, but it didn’t matter.

Louis couldn’t believe that a parent was willing to be so blind to their child’s misgivings! Of course Louis understood what it was to be depressed, because Louis understood what it was to be alone! Louis understood fully what it meant to sit and feel fine in one minute before he was crumbling completely the next, the overwhelming dread and sadness flooding his brain as he could do nothing more than pray to God that he would live to see another day where he didn’t feel like he was rotting away. Louis understood what it felt like to be dead on the inside, to be burned with dread and numb within his fingers and toes to the shock of the things that would one day haunt him of the things he should’ve done differently, but hadn’t thought to do until it was too late.

Running faster, Louis knew he wasn’t going to cry as the rain continued to fall to his face, his hands flattened and cutting to his sides as older couples moved from his way on the sidewalk and faces looked from warm storefront windows to the tiny streak of color passing by. Louis knew he wasn’t crazy, and Louis knew that the monster was real, and though Jay couldn’t see it, it was no indication that it wasn’t real; that this monster didn’t symbolize _something_.

Cutting a few corners to the center of the village, Louis’ eyes were drawn to the bright lights flooding the football pitch as he took in a familiar bobbing form along to a nonchalance stance that belonged to a shaggy head of black hair as another was sat lounging within the stands with a wrapper held within his fingers. Without thinking differently in that fact this his best mates wouldn’t want a thing to do with him, Louis began to hurry toward Liam’s form dribbling the football round the field before the stands in his football kit as he and the others were stood waiting on Liam’s mum to come collect them all to spend a night in at Liam’s house for the weekend.

Louis missed this part, the normal part where he would be there with them in his kit, drenched and smiling as he was able to simply mask the sinking of his stomach with a smile and pretend it wasn’t real, if only for a little while to feel that spark of life that had seemed to have left him. Slowing as he approached, Louis’ hands fell to his sides as Liam looked up quickly without warning before he was snapping back to Louis’ worn face and tired expression, his eyes assessing the bandages before he was stood with a foot on top of the football, silencing the other boys.

“Louis-”

“What do you want?” Zayn snapped as Louis came to stand closer, his shoes squishing through the grass as he offered a shaky smile.

“I just thought I would say hi?”

“Hi, Louis.” Niall offered gently as Josh drew still to Zayn’s side, Liam stepping cautiously forward as he hugged the football beneath his arm.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m fine, just bandaged a bit.” Louis shrugged as he smiled with a quivering, nervous laugh. “I was just wondering what the lot of you were doing-”

“We’ve got plans for the weekend.” Zayn growled as he stood slightly before Liam, Josh ducking his head to the awkward air as Niall cleared his throat and stood from the stands to flounce just before Louis’ arm.

“You could come round if you’d like?” Niall tossed a nasty look to Zayn’s obvious protest as Louis’ face lit gently.

“Really?”

“If you’d even want to.” Liam confessed quietly as his eyes looked over Louis’ face slowly, Louis wringing his fingers together as he nodded, his lips parting to agree wholeheartedly before Zayn stood apart from all the other boys to jab a finger to Louis’ chest. _Hard_.

“You’re such a knob, you know that? You don’t want anything to do with us, and now that Harry’s got you mixed up in his scary business, you want to come back to be with us and bring it with you? Why don’t you go lock up in your bedroom?” Louis flinched to the ice in Zayn’s tone as he took a step back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Look at you!” Zayn shouted suddenly as he again stepped forward, only this time his hands nearly shoved Louis back to the grass.

“I’ve not done anything!”

“Zayn, stop it!” Liam interjected as he came forward to place himself between the two, Niall’s hands clutching to Zayn’s arms as a roll of thunder overhead shook them all completely through to the heavy, cold rain that began to unmercifully pour.

“No, I’ve held it in too long and I’m not going to watch us all end up like he has! You’re different Louis and you scare us! We don’t _want_ to be your mates anymore, so why don’t you run along and kiss a bit more to Harry’s arse-”

“Zayn, lad.” Josh warned gently as Zayn snatched his hand away only to surge around Liam to shove to Louis’ chest again as Louis felt an unfathomable _rage_ build to his chest, a low growl issuing through his lungs.

“Louis, we’re just worried about the whole thing.” Liam countered gently as Louis turned eyes to him widely, Liam nodding slowly as Louis shook his head unable to comprehend what was happening. “You’ve changed a bit-”

“I’m still _me_.” Louis promised as Zayn began to laugh loudly before his hands were swiping the hair back from his face.

“You’re mad, Louis and you can’t even admit to yourself that Harry’s the problem-”

“ _Shut_ up.”

“-He’s a no good person and a complete loon and he latched onto you just to bring you down with him! He’s destroyed you and you don’t even care! Probably kissing and cuddling him as well!”

“I said, shut up!” Louis shouted as he took a step forward with balled fists, a sharp claw snatching into his own palm as he felt his vision filter red without notice to the car that slowly parked just beyond to the gate, as Jay wasn’t far behind.

“And what are you doing to do? You going to make me feel bad to stay home and pout because my mum doesn’t pay attention to me? Going to make my primary teacher cry and go weird as well because of my loony mum and my stupid, pathetic friend-”

“Zayn!” Niall and Liam shouted as Josh fought to reach Louis before Louis reached Zayn, but it was entirely too late.

Louis was straddled to Zayn’s stomach as Liam’s mum and Jay surged from their cars shouting the entire way as Louis’ fists balled tightly and began slamming to Zayn’s cheek as Zayn landed a punch to the base of Louis’ throat, but Louis couldn’t stop himself. The fury consuming his body as the ignition of fire to gasoline was dangerous and hot a Zayn screamed to a single swipe of that claw to his jawline as Liam managed to toss Louis from Zayn’s chest as Niall and Josh dived in to hold Louis away as Louis snarled and growled loudly with his eyes ever unblinking and locked to Zayn as he rolled to his side within the grass holding his cheek.

It should’ve scared Louis, the way he wanted to rip Zayn apart and not stop until Zayn was nothing more than a stupid, awful memory in the things he said and the low blows he’d delivered, but it didn’t. The animal inside him told Louis to continue to rip and tear to the skin until he made Zayn regret every disgusting word he’d said in vain to every weakness patched within Louis’ quilt work.

“Louis!” Jay shouted as her feet fought faster, Liam’s mum hobbling alongside her as Zayn’s teary eyes managed to Louis in _fear_.

“He’s made you a monster! You’re a monster because of him!”

“You’ll never be half the boy he is!” Louis hissed as Zayn curled further to Liam’s grasp as Liam’s lip quivered to the blown nature of Louis’ pupils and the eating away of the gentle blue that was no longer at place within his eyes.

“Boys, what’s happened?” Liam’s mum called as Jay relieved Niall and Josh of Louis, both boys bending to Zayn’s side as Jay’s grip loosened to Louis slowly as she fixed to Zayn’s hand that was dripping with blood.

“Jesus, Louis-”

“Get off of me!” Louis gurgled as he felt he was going to be sick, his eyes only registering the blood of Zayn’s hand and the thought of himself being the monster in the eyes of one of the people he would’ve died for. “This isn’t me.”

“Louis, stop it!” Jay shouted suddenly as Louis began to back away with panic struck in his eye, Liam, Niall and Josh watching Louis slowly back away as the tears began to roll down his cheeks; he’d _hurt_ Zayn with a claw that wasn’t his and a fury to match. _What had he done_?

 Swallowing, Louis was again running away as Jay fought to take chase, her apologies thrown over her shoulder to Liam’s mum as she threw herself to the driver’s seat of her car as she tore out after the tiny body of Louis crossing town and weaving through the parked cars and strayed people that had watched from afar to the _animalistic_ attack. Honking the horn, Jay couldn’t contain her tears any longer as she began to openly sob behind the wheel, her foot pumping to the accelerator as she surged up the hill and slowed to Louis’ tired and wary pace as she watched her young and broken son trudge through the rain.

His bandages were soaked with blood, his clothes muddied and wet and his walk forlorn and unsure, and yet Jay would never see through her tears to the tall stranger that clutched tightly to Louis’ hand through the rain as Louis’ lips parted in quiet shock of how mad he _must’ve_ been.

“You’re killing us both.” Older Harry issued quietly as Louis’ eyes closed, his feet trudging through the thick clay and mud as Jay followed behind in the car to mask her own panicked sobs and the unraveling of her calm and hardened demeanor as she knew in the fight she’d never wanted to confess was happening, that she’d already _lost_.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	21. B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“That though the radiance which was once so bright be now forever taken from my sight! Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, nor glory in the flower we shall grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind before we dread end.”

  
  


[Dream Is Destiny](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2zf28T0LFU)

  
  


Lolling soundlessly, Louis finally understood what it meant to completely fall apart. No matter how many rights he did or the wrongs he’d tried to fix, things only seemed to grow further and further apart in the void that was slowly biting to his ankles to swallow him whole. It had been an entire week since Louis had gotten to go to primary, and he’d thought he’d been ready to leave the house and Mark’s pitying looks as Jay had overthrown her days off from the hospital in hopes of escaping Louis’ antics and the shame he brought her. Why was it that no one seemed to understand that even boys like Louis could only walk so far with their head held high and shoulders heavy before the bones of the back would begin to break and shrivel and their knees would collapse beneath the weight of the ever impending downfall of _themselves_.

With glazed eyes and parted lips, Louis couldn’t decide if he’d simply given up or given in, his eyes wandering to the opposite side of the room as he met with Zayn’s unkind scowl beneath the bandage that was nearly identical in the one Louis had worn when Louis had given Zayn his own gash. Simply blinking to Zayn flicking Louis the middle finger, Louis rolled his head to face out the window as he flinched in pain to what he thought Harry might be doing. Whether he was locked away and inside from the downpour or he was stood outside Louis’ window, Louis knew he couldn’t stand to find out either way, because he knew what he needed to do.

Gathering tiny gasps of breath, Louis’ arms clutched around his middle as Mrs. Austin’s eyes watched Louis gently from the front of the classroom as she erased the board and aided those who needed it in packing up their rucksacks in preparation of leaving for the day.

Sighing lowly, Louis simply wanted to curl up beneath his duvet as he played to Harry’s long fingers crawling across the sheet to sweep the fringe back from his forehead as those full lips pulled to a smile that would ease away the uncomfortable sensation of crumbling to pieces.

“Louis?” A voice spoke softly as Louis wearily raised his head, his expression falling guarded as he was instantly snapped back to the reality of what was gnawing away to him on the inside. “You alright?”

Louis blinked to Mrs. Austin’s tender touch as his eyes fluttered and he slowly nodded that yes, everything was fine and he was only _tired_.

“D’you need help in gathering your things? The buses are waiting and the bell-” Mrs. Austin cut short as the bell clanged and the children about the room began shoving for the doorway, Louis’ hands falling to where his rucksack should’ve been but wasn’t as he turned eyes to his empty desk. “I can walk you?”

“I’m fine.” Louis interjected quietly as he frowned before standing up, a woozy sensation wiping his body as his eyes curled to the flashes of color with the head rush that started only to quickly die away.

“Why don’t I just walk you for a bit?”

Louis didn’t bother to fight as he shrugged his coat to his back, his feet falling in time with Mrs. Austin’s as the pair slowly threaded down the hallway that slowed with time and the surging of little bodies flying from opened classroom doors and rushing out from the toilets so as to not miss their ride home. Staring forward without change in his expression, Louis could feel the pang of guilt begin to cloud his judgment as the cool air and the rain washed his skin in a cleansing motion of a rebirth from the sticky atmosphere within the primary that had nearly become suffocating.

Falling before Mrs. Austin’s step, Louis carefully timed himself in taking the steps up his bus before the driver who looked first to Louis in mild panic before he swung to Mrs. Austin who simply held up a hand and shook her hand, Louis tripping and stumbling quietly down the aisle before he found his seat that he normally sat in surrounded by the other boys was occupied by Zayn who’d decided he’d save Louis the embarrassment of thinking he could still associate with them. Ducking his head, Louis swallowed on his venture past, Liam and Niall watching him closely with sad eyes as Niall sat forward to speak only to be punched roughly to the side by Josh who shot him a warning look; after all, Louis was nothing but trouble.

Sliding to a seat that housed a tear down the middle, Louis shrugged his arms to hug tightly to his chest as he lay his chin to the rough fabric that pushed unkindly to the healing wound beneath the bandage that could be seen from Zayn’s cheek as well as he scowled over the tops of the seats just _hoping_ that Louis would have the balls to look up, but he never did. Liam and Niall seemed to look to the other painfully as the bus rumbled away from the curb with a worried looking Mrs. Austin stood watching on, her arms crossed tightly across her chest within the rain as Liam turned to Zayn with a furrow to his brow.

“You didn’t have to be so mean to him.”

“He cut me!” Zayn hissed as he slid back to the seat next to Liam, Liam shrugging his shoulders as Josh too took his place back to Niall, leaving the seats across from them vacant and unclaimed.

“You were making fun of him!” Liam scolded as he hugged his arms tightly across his stomach, his eyes fleeing to the back of the bus as he only caught sight to the top of Louis’ dripping fringe before Zayn was shoving to Liam’s chest roughly.

“You’re supposed to be on my side! He could’ve killed me!”

“He looked bloody mad.” Josh offered from behind them as Zayn turned a bit and nodded quickly, Niall’s eyes moving out the bus window as he bit to his bottom lip and wondered if that animal dwelling within Louis would ever have the will to stop hunting, the fear again blossoming in his chest as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

“He’s not normal anymore.” Zayn snapped as he sat back to his seat, Louis’ eyes traveling through each stop of the bus there after the loud conversation he’d heard every word of echoed through his mind, his eyes wet and panicky as he simply wanted to flee home, but he knew he couldn’t, because he had to do it.

For a moments peace, Louis was glued to the ripped seat in the back of the bus as the wheels slowly rolled to the mouth of the main road that would lead him to his final quest, Louis’ heart sinking like an iron lead as he wanted to wail out pitifully that he would simply ride the bus to London without ever looking back.

“It’s _your_ stop!” A voice chided rudely as a foot kicked to the back of Louis’ seat, Louis jumping terribly as he clutched to his rucksack on trembling knees as he stood and looked to the many, round faces watching him slowly trickle down the aisle.

Zayn, Liam, Niall and Josh were already halfway up the road by the time Louis’ feet crunched to the gravel and sod, his heart thundering and flying up to the middle of his throat as Louis turned in a last moment’s chance only to turn to shut doors and the driver waving him away with a look of desperation to separate from Louis’ parasite of darkness.

Standing to the choke of the tailpipe, Louis stood facing away from the road until the very last moment as he hesitantly turned and experienced the vision of the road seeming to stretch longly before snapping back in reminder that the time was drawing nearer, and Louis couldn’t get away from it. Slowly walking, one foot in front of the other measured and calm, Louis approached to his and Harry’s treaded path through the thicket and weeds as he lay his head back to bite to his bottom lip in vainly baying away the tears he knew were going to inevitably fall.

Passing a glance toward the direction of home, Louis thought of how easy it all should’ve been, to simply hide away at home and forget everything stupid and dark, and yet knew he couldn’t as he’d remembered what it felt like to be yanked to his room with those claws scratching and ripping at his ankles with a low hiss in his ear. Stepping forward before retracting back, Louis wiggled his fingers only to surge forward through the trees, the overwhelming quiet of the woods seeping to his bones and revealing an all over body chill to race through his veins as Louis thought of the monster he’d last seen.

There wasn’t an ounce of fear within his body at this point, as Louis allowed his fingers to brush to the bark of passing trees as his feet began to drag the closer he drew to Harry’s house. Sheltered slightly from the rain that poured noisily overhead, Louis watched graciously to the large puffs of smoke emitting from between his lips in the cold as a tiny sob fell from his throat the sight of Harry’s swing moving slowly in the quiet still. Hesitating, Louis wasn’t shy to let the tears come as his hand extended before him to touch his fingers gently to the burn of the thick, cold rope that hung dejectedly within the freezing temperature that ran of comfort.

Touching to the seat that Louis could remember swinging to with Harry beside him, he smiled to Harry’s warm touch and those beautiful lips as his heart ached to simply close the distance and breath in Harry’s smell that would sweep him away from the shit nearly eating Louis alive. Slowly pulling his eyelids back, Louis could make out the weaving together of the twigs and thistles of the castle as he walked gently forward over the soggy and dead leaves that gave beneath his weight, his finger poking slightly to the beautiful hue of the lilac of the bodies of the thistles as Louis thought of what it would be like to _purposely_ inflict pain on himself, to push the thorn so far into his finger that he would cry out in pain to the thorn cutting him entirely through to his nail.

Jumping to the slam of Harry’s kitchen door and being ripped form his gruesome thought, Louis turned his face breathlessly to the image of Harry shrugging to a large coat as he slung a hood over his head, tiny puffs of smoke filtering from where Louis knew that gentle mouth was as he tentatively stepped forward with a smile. Harry was so gorgeous in this way, his hair clearly a mess from the nap he’d been woken up from in a frenzy of missing Louis at the bus stop, his wide hunter eyes still heavy with sleep as the warm pastry held between his teeth steamed in the cold; Louis’ chest gripped painfully as he couldn’t believe what he was about to do.

Swallowing thickly, Louis began to slowly walk forward to the clearing as he watched Harry happily skip down the back stairs. Louis knew the darkness dwelling to the base of his brain and clawing down his spine simply couldn’t be the same as the in-between darkness as the shifting of day to night, because it was rather a smoggy, suffocating manmade darkness that turned his guts black and rendered him lifeless and numb.

“Louis!” He couldn’t believe what he was about to do.

“Hi.” Louis called gently as he smiled tightly to Harry’s happy call, Harry’s feet working quicker to pull him closer to Louis as he hopped down the last few steps before tearing straight for Louis who drew still and statuesque.

“I haven’t seen you for a while and I’d thought you’d left!” Harry breathed and mumbled around the pastry wadded wetly to the insides of his cheeks as he chewed happily only to stand before Louis in obvious shock, the pastry dropping from his hands as Louis watched him quietly. “Louis, what happened?”

“I got hurt.” Louis mumbled gently as Harry frowned and cautiously stepped forward, Louis’ bottom lip beginning to tremble quickly as Harry’s hands touched to Louis’ arms.

“Louis-?”

“I was so scared, Harry!” Louis cried as he felt the levee within himself crack and burst, his knees giving as Louis crumpled to Harry’s arms that strongly caught him, and yet eased Louis to crouch within the wet folds of the leaves as Harry’s lips began pressing tightly to any part of Louis’ face he could.

“What happened? Please tell me, Louis, you’re scaring me!” Harry’s face crossed as he pulled tiny fingers beneath Louis’ chin to bring Louis’ bleary eyes to his own, his other hand tracing down Louis’ arm as his hood fell away in time to pause at the bandages covering Louis’ wrists. “Louis-”

“It came after me.” Louis blubbered as Harry slowly undid the bandage, his face paling to Louis’ flinching of the cool air hitting the raw skin as Harry was careful in placing it back to its place, his other hand falling away from Louis’ face to check to Louis’ other wrist before his eyes were drawn to Louis’ exposed and bandaged ankles that peeked from the bottoms of his rolled trouser legs tucked to his side in the awkward position he sat. “I tired to get away-”

“I told it to leave you alone.” Harry snapped, as his cheeks grew rosy, his eyes widening in panic as he began to feel sick around the tiny smidge of pastry floating in his stomach. “I told it to leave you alone and only come after me, but it killed Ginger and now-”

“Harry.” Louis coaxed quietly as Harry’s eyes rose in terror to the tremor laced within Louis’ voice, his fingers gently laying to either of Louis’ cheeks as he finally took notice to the overwhelming grief muddled within that beautiful blue. “I don’t-”

Louis gathered a deep breath as Harry seemed to pull back slightly only to find Louis wasn’t forcing him to sit still, a curl flattening against Harry’s forehead as he began to slowly panic inside.

“I don’t think-”

“Louis.” Harry quietly begged as his face crumpled to a solemn and grave expression as if he knew what Louis was about to do.

“I don’t think we should be friends anymore.” Louis whispered as the disgusting sentence seemed to ring out ten times louder than intended, Harry’s face cracking and crumpling in the saddest way that Louis could literally feel his middle become unraveled and soak his jumper completely through.

“I’ll change.” Harry whispered as a tiny tear rolled down his cheek, his fingers locking to the sleeves of Louis’ jumper as he fought to sit closer to Louis’ warmth, Louis turning his face away as he sniffled hard in trying to keep his hysterics at bay to the darkness that was slowly consuming and eating away.

“There’s nothing to change. The monster comes with you and it’s going to kill me _and_ you if I don’t leave.”

“Louis, that’s not true! I can make it stop!” Harry shouted suddenly as Louis began shaking his head to the effort of not crying to Harry’s now open and hysterical sobs, his fingers tightening about Louis’ arms as Louis never bothered to acknowledge the pain stemming from Harry’s grip to his bandaged wrists. “I promise I’ll make it stop-”

“There’s nothing you can do, Harry! It’s a part of you and it’s slowly becoming a part of me too! I hurt Zayn the other day and I’m seeing things that aren’t there! I don’t want to be crazy!” Louis shouted as he ripped his wrists from Harry’s grip, his stance unsteady as he stood with Harry’s tiny, blotched cheeks following beneath those wide eyes filled with sadness and despair.

“You’re not crazy, I see it too! I see everything and I can make it stop!”

“Don’t!” Louis instructed quickly as he regrettably pulled Harry’s hands from the front of his jumper to let them fall away from his tocuh, a seemingly monumental decision as Harry’s face completely cleared of color or expression.

“Louis, we need each other.” Louis looked to Harry through the tears that quietly tracked his cheeks as Harry stepped toward Louis’ slight shuffle backward. “ _I_ need you.”

“You’re hurting me.” Louis whispered through a tiny gasp as Harry’s hands dropped from reaching again to Louis, to hold onto him for as long as he possibly could as Louis quite literally began to slip from Harry’s fingers.

Louis watched quietly to the flood of emotions that fell across Harry’s face as Harry’s eyes visibly darkened, his chin dipping in dramatically as he fought to conceal the pain ripping his chest apart as he watched Louis quietly and carefully, his fingers shaking and cold in the rain that managed to slick from the canopy overhead.

“I’m sorry.” Louis longed so badly to wrap Harry to his chest but knew he couldn’t, not after he’d stepped in to disrupt Harry’s day and kill him.

“Let me go.” Louis mumbled as he turned slightly, his eyes wandering through the trees to the road as he quietly begged that Harry _not_ let him go.

“Louis, please!” Harry breathed as Louis looked to him for the last time as he felt himself completely shatter throughout to the tiny, crying boy that was shivering in the cold that was radiating from the inside out. “I need you, you’re my only friend! I love you, you can’t just-”

“I have to go.” Louis managed through the sobs he was able to gently bite away as Harry’s face broke completely, his eyes downcast and sullen as he wept pitifully, Louis’ face mirroring the same as he quickly spun on his heel to begin his long and treacherous climb to the main road.

“Louis!” Harry screamed as Louis could envision Harry frozen to the spot in shock as his cheeks ran warmly, his fingers clutching to the coat around him as he hiccupped and sputtered to the shortness of breath that began another loud coughing fit that Louis couldn’t help but marvel to the irony of this only happening to the first time Louis had seen Harry, and now as he was leaving him. “Please don’t leave me! Louis!”

Louis could hear Harry’s tiny feet moving across the ground quickly before Harry’s foot was caught to a slick of mud and Harry was sent sprawling to his face, his sharp intake of breath followed by a blood curdling scream as the kitchen door of the house was thrown open to a panicked looking Anne.

“Harry! What’s happened?”

“He’s leaving mum, you have to stop him!” Harry screamed as he began to scramble to his feet only to cave in over on himself in a cough that rattled his entire body and set his lungs on fire. “Louis!”

“Harry, just calm down!” Anne instructed as she began down the stairs through the rain, her arms wrapping tightly to Harry’s waist just as Louis paused through the trees to meet to Harry’s broken expression as Harry raised a hand in his direction, silently begging that Louis not break them both.

But how was Louis supposed to fix them both when he was already torn apart? Lips trembling to the sob that threatened to give him away to Anne’s quickly searching eyes, Louis only paused in time to see Anne struggle Harry into her arms from the mud as his little face and hands clawed the air through the muck covering his skin in effort to catch Louis before he faded away.

“Mum, we have to catch him! If he gets away he won’t come back!” Harry wailed loudly as Louis again turned in picking through the wet branches and hanging moss, Anne’s grip tightening to Harry’s back as she quietly tried to ease the pain she would never fully understand from her young son’s tensed back and wary lips.

It seemed that Louis was always faced in these situations, where he had to be the brave one and not look back, where Louis had to be the one that was strong and couldn’t show the wavering in his stability as he had to be the one to hold a firm upper lip in keeping to his promises. Moving like death through the leaves, quiet and detached, Louis realized he’d just lost the only person in the world who’d ever shown him love or that would build a future with him, and it killed him; Louis had broken Harry’s heart along with his own.

Unable to stand to the tears continuing to splatter from his cheeks and stain his jumper, Louis broke to the rode with his hands clasped tightly around his middle as Louis frowned to the obvious stain of blood leaking through the fabric. Maybe death wouldn’t be so bad if it meant a relief from the pain that was consuming his mind as Louis bled the entire way home, a trail of crimson washing away with the rain as Louis felt neither pain or chill. And maybe this is when Louis should’ve realized it was rock bottom he was experiencing, that feeling _nothing_ is worse than pain and loathing, worse than his middle being ripped apart and his heart being sent away and left in the woods among the branches and thistles.

Unable to fully realize that he was just stood staring at his front door, Louis wondered if Harry would come that night to knock on his window, and whether or not Louis would be more upset if Harry did come, or if he truly stayed away. Pausing with his fingers clutched for dear life around the doorknob, Louis was gob smacked. He couldn’t believe he’d not actually taken the time to think of what it would be like after he’d done the singlehandedly most stupid thing of his life; what was he supposed to do now?

Turning his eyes slowly up the length of the door, Louis’ opposite arm clutched about his middle as he slowly pushed the door open to allow himself to the warmth and Jay’s shouting from the kitchen as Mark rolled his eyes and leaned back to his chair about the table. Feet dragging heavily, Louis looked in to Lottie asleep on her back in front of the television as he longed to have her lack of caring and understanding of the outside world and how cruel it was to fall in love.

“Thought I told you to come straight home, Louis!” Jay barked suddenly as Louis jumped and instantly cringed, both his arms flying to lock tightly around his middle as the blood began to trickle and pool to the floor around his feet. “Jesus, I’m done!”

“Will you stop it? He’s a few minutes late!” Mark shouted as he slammed a fist to the table, Louis’ ears blocking out the rest of the argument as he made it to the kitchen doorway and nearly round the corner before he was falling to his hands and knees as his chest heaved and his back began to ache painfully.

Crawling for the solidarity of his room and the familiar sense of what little peace he knew, Louis paid no mind to the blood trail left to the floor behind him as he struggled his knees against the hard wood that ground to the gristle and ached wearily to his bones. Releasing a tiny gasp to the shredding around his middle that felt as if a fire had been lit, Louis wasn’t surprised to find neither Jay or Mark had come to complain of the blood, and yet Louis knew somewhere in his mind that neither of them could see it because they didn’t _want_ to.

Giving a tiny sob of insignificance, Louis rounded into his bedroom as he managed to kick the door shut as he raised weakly to pop the lock into place before he lay bare to the floor, his hands hesitant to the hem of his jumper as he thought of removing the blood soaked material to assess the damage and carnage beneath, but decided he was too scared. Louis was weak, not only for not being able to lift his jumper to find his skin was perfectly in tact and the slight scratches he’d encountered near his bellybutton were healed, but because he’d done the stupidest thing from fear of not being able to stand up to a monster that was probably never even real. Yet if it hadn’t been real, why had the monster been able to touch Louis and give Harry those bruises? What was it about Harry that attracted the darkness when all Louis was able to see was light?

It wasn’t fair Louis decided, as he rolled to his side and brought his knees tightly beneath his chin in hopes of keeping his middle together, his eyes weakly straining to the still abandoned pair of Harry’s trousers squashed up beneath his bed as Louis’ face crumpled to a silent sob that wracked his body breathlessly.

There’s such a theory known as the Broken Heart Theory, in which stated that though as humans we’re born with hearts, we’re simply broken and damaged from the start without hope of ever knowing differently. In the pursuit of love, we’re simply seeking to mask the inconsolably shattered condition in which we’ve grown accustomed to and no longer feel because even for something so trivial and fleeting as love, we would give it all. For a moment’s peace, for a tiny kiss or a warm embrace, we would give it all for that subtle warmth that sets the soul on fire and turns what little sense we possess straight to _ash_ ; we would set ourselves on fire.

For love.

  
  


It was quite unheard of in the way Louis was becoming a master at hiding his pain. Though no one else could see the way his jumper sagged in the front beneath the weight of the blood that trickled from the battered wound that was nearly ripped and stretched to consume Louis’ entire front, Louis never dared to say a word. Louis could learn to give a tight-lipped smile and a subtle nod of the head as he simply went through the motions of what it meant to live, though this was no form of living. Everything was vague and dark and depressing, and not a day passed that Louis wasn’t sat away in his thoughts, thinking of Harry. Harry’s form and his smell, those gorgeous eyes with that tawny hint of turquoise round the center and those lips that pressed so gently and so warmly to Louis’ that he’d thought it couldn’t be real.

Louis hadn’t known that a pain like this could exist, and hadn’t thought that he’d ever have to experience what it meant to actually loose one’s _soul_. Of course he still had his organs and his working and normal brain, but without passion, life was miserable and incomplete. Why did it matter what he learned in primary if he was only going to go home and not do the homework so he could muddle in his self-pity? Why did it matter that Jay was growing increasingly more angry to Louis’ mood and chose to spend more time at hospital that at home with Lottie who was growing more and more moody with the downfall of the family falling away from one another around her?

It hurt to just wake up and clamber out of bed in the morning, and yet Louis didn’t understand why he still did it. Would no one stop to listen and question why his eyes no longer sparkled, or why he refused to take food because he knew it would only upset his stomach and he’d toss it later anyways? Why was it that the world around Louis seemed to continue moving without stopping to check and see that he was clasped hand in hand with everyone else to the world continuing to grow and flourish? It hardly seemed fair, and yet Louis knew it was his fault. It was his fault that his mum hated him, it was his fault that the other lads hated him and refused to even make eye contact and it was without a doubt Louis’ fault as to why he knew Harry was miserable.

Louis could still see and feel Harry’s sadness as that small face had nearly crushed in on itself as Harry’s chest threw away the sobs that shook him through completely to the fear of losing the only true friend and love he’d ever experienced. Rolling the pencil between his fingers, Louis was snapped back to attention as a loud smack sounded to his desk at the toss of a heavy maths booklet making face, Louis’ body never reacting to what scared many of the other children as he looked to the older man’s sour face that seemed to pale to the look of despair Louis wore proudly.

“Mr. Tomlinson, why don’t you stop dreaming and begin your test like the rest of the class?” The man snapped as his eyes moved across Louis’ face nervously, Louis sitting a tiny bit straighter as he almost willed the man ask if he was okay, but he never did.

Sighing lowly before averting his eyes to Zayn and Josh’s critical and disgusted looks, Louis scribbled his name to top of the test before his face pinched in panic. He’d not studied for this test, and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he wasn’t going to pass simply for the fact that each time Louis tried to scrape his mind for some sort of reminder as to what it was he was supposed to know, the words and numbers of the page seemed to jumble and huddle to one another as they shied away from Louis’ pencil tip that scratched a line around to the patterns he was shown.

“Five minutes.” The maths teacher called from his desk as he watched again with joy to the children around the room jumping to the interruption in the quiet, though his lips faltered to Louis as Louis looked to him in wide discontent and empty expression before he was staring stupidly back down to his test.

Dropping his pencil to the middle of the page and holding his temple tightly, Louis felt as though he were going to cry to the sensation of what it felt to be completely worthless and wasted to everything that was going wrong in his life. Without choice, Louis picked up his pencil and began filling in random answers only to finish scribbling a bullshit answer to the very last question as the maths teacher passed by with open palm to snatch the test away. Unable to meet to the judgmental gaze of the teacher that paused to the stranger scribbles and words rounded to Louis’ paper, the maths teacher simply shook his head and watched the clock until time rang that the children were all to make their way outside.

Standing on instinct rather than pleasure, Louis mingled and fell away into the crowd of the other children as he briefly caught sight of Liam and Niall joining to Josh and Zayn as Liam shook away Danielle who clung tightly to his arm, Eleanor tossing a nasty look to Louis’ direction as Louis openly ignored them all and walked a bit quicker for the doors that would release him to the fresh air that he needed to clear his spongy and muffled brain.

Inhaling slowly to the stifling smell of rain, Louis’ eyes closed gently, and while it seemed as though the other children looked to him suspiciously as Louis passed with his fingers spread to his sides, Louis didn’t mind. Louis’ feet knowingly brought him to stand before a swing as he slowly sat and reveled to the feeling of being weightless, his toes never again touching the ground as Louis wound his legs back only to push himself forward again. Louis could remember so clearly the last time he’d swung this high before he’d met Harry, and almost couldn’t believe he’d been able to thrive without knowledge of the beautiful life that he was now craving.

Eyelids to the wind that froze his cheeks and bit to his neck, Louis paid no attention to the other four boys across the playground as he felt the pressure alleviate his chest if only for a second, because Louis was again flying. In this moment, Louis was soaring through the clouds with Harry’s tiny hand clasped in his own as Louis watched the tears trickle down Harry’s cheeks and run down his neck into the collar of his jumper. Though Louis didn’t understand why Harry cried, Louis could feel in his bones it was due to the freedom and liberation of flying high enough from the tree cover and the shadow where the monster was unable to touch them.

Louis missed Harry, his face crumpling as he quietly watched Harry fade away into the clouds as Louis welcomed the wide, crystal ocean flying past beneath him as he longed only to turn around and take Harry away from the doom he was indefinitely subjected to. It would never make sense as to why life had to be so complicated, and yet as Louis’ eyes opened and he met to Niall’s pitying and sad look across the lawn, Louis felt infinite. As long as he swung higher and he dug a little deeper and he smiled a little big bigger, no one would know that he was falling away to dust on the inside, because Louis no longer existed.

This is what it meant to be a shell of a person, and yet the physical mechanics of being still existed, and that’s all that mattered to those who looked for signs of normalcy. Averting his eyes from the other three pairs of eyes that flicked to his own as Louis scowled darkly to Eleanor’s tiny wave from her position next to Danielle huddled within a group of loudly laughing girls, Louis’ attention caught to something slinking darkly through the grass. Eyes widening to the fear that froze his feet and caused the woodchuckings to fly like rain before him as the toes of Louis’ shoes smacked painfully to the ground, Louis’ fingers wrapped tightly to the chains of the swings as his eyes never left the two menacing horns that rose from the thickest bit of children, yet never rose high enough to expose that face that had haunted Louis’ worst nightmares.

Biting to his inner cheek and frowning, Louis’ eyes never broke from the nightmare amidst reality as he slowly stopped the swing and stood, his feet moving blindly to the rough and uneven disbursement of woodchuckings and soft mud as he began through the crowd to the horns that seemed to move further and further away in a circle around Louis, almost as if the monster were _teasing_ him.

“Stop it.” Louis demanded quietly as his face crossed in anger, Josh’s hand smacking to Zayn’s arm quickly as Liam and Niall turned as well to watch Louis cautiously stalk through the other children, his eyes locked to something that all boys seemed to see at once that caused them to fall back into the other with wide eyes.

Freezing slightly to the low snarl that filtered to him from the still position the monster stood, Louis squared off in battle as a tiny girl’s head moved just in time for Louis to catch sight of the loud puff of smoke issuing from those flared nostrils as the widening pupils laid within a bed of ashen red fixed to him dangerously.

There was nothing Louis could do or say as the monster began picking through the children toward him, Liam pushing away from Zayn’s frantic grip as he began screaming that Louis move because Liam and the other boys still loved him, and yet Louis didn’t want to because Louis would no longer live with the pleasant comfort of bullshit. What did it matter if the monster finished him this time? What did it matter if the boys wanted him to move away for fear of his life? They’d made it clear how they felt and Louis had nothing to live for, so he wasn’t scared and he wouldn’t be moved as a few of the children turned to the shove to their backs only to scream in terror to the ghastly sight that drove them toward the shocked group of teachers that fixed to the tiny fingers pointing in _Louis’_ direction. Assumptions drawn, no adult dared listen to the word monster as Louis stood face-to-face with the beast that measured his expression quietly before those eyes were widening dangerously and it lunged, Louis’ back smacking to the ground as he began beating to the muscled body that seemed to cover him with growls and hushed whispers of how worthless and low Louis always was and always would be.

“Take me.” Louis snapped as he managed to land a finger to one eye that caused a brittle scream to pierce the air as Liam was snatched away by the maths teacher that caught him around the middle, Mrs. Austin’s feet seeping through the mud and the wet grass as her hands extended for Louis. Sensing the shift in aggression of the monster as it raised to its back legs and looked toward the direction of home, Louis’ heart fluttered sickly as he drew the realization. Louis had left Harry to fend for himself, and the monster now _knew_ it, as it had come to warn Louis one final time, but Louis had already done its job.

Flailing to grip to the legs that seemed to fade away with the nasty growl and sweeping of horns through the mist that slated from the clouds overhead, Louis could hear some of the other children shriek to the mangled thing winding away to the further woods as Louis clawed through the mud helplessly.

“Louis!” Mrs. Austin breathed as she dropped to her knees next to Louis’ side, Louis nearly escaping her as he gasped to the horror and guilt blinding his murky mind.

“It’s going to get Harry! I left Harry alone and it knows it!”

“Louis, you need to calm down!” Mrs. Austin instructed as she gripped Louis tightly by the middle only to fight him back, one of Louis’ fists swinging wildly as he caught Mrs. Austin by the jaw, and yet her grip never faltered.

“What’ve I done?” Louis shrieked as he fought to free himself, his eyes growing bleary with the rash of tears as Liam, Zayn, Niall, Josh and the other children that watched, huddled in terror to Louis thrashing in Mrs. Austin’s arms.

“Inside!” The maths teacher barked as he began pushing children inside, the cranky, older female teacher watching as Mrs. Austin began to slowly rock Louis with her lips lowered to his forehead as she quietly shushed him and willed that Louis fall away from his pain.

“You’re alright, I’ve got you.” Mrs. Austin whispered as Louis continued to fight away.

“I let him down!” Louis shouted as he laid his head back with a gripping sob that nearly caused him to choke to the spit that fell thickly from the side of his mouth. “I don’t deserve to live!”

“Louis, stop it!” Mrs. Austin commanded as she folded Louis tighter to her chest as the clouds above seemed to open up and soak them both completely through in the cold rain that pelted and stung to their skin.

Louis seemed to respond as he fell lifeless within Mrs. Austin’s hold, her eyes quickly wandering across Louis’ face as she took in the glassy, wide stance of his eyes as his mouth opened in what looked to be pain. Allowing his wet and slicked hair fall back gently from his forehead, Mrs. Austin took notice of Louis’ hands and fingers clutching desperately about his middle to the pain that was becoming unbearable.

“I want to die.” Louis whispered gently as his eyes continued to stare off to a place Mrs. Austin could never see, her fingers clutching harder about Louis’ shoulders as she tried her best to shelter him from the rain and the steam that rose from the grass around them. “It hurts and I want to die.”

“You don’t mean that.” Mrs. Austin comforted as her fingers ran gently through Louis’ wet hair, her eyes growing teary as she finally looked to the face of the light lost within Louis’ inner being.

Within her arms she held a shell, as she knew Louis was no longer there.

  
  


Lying flat to his back on the tiny cot within the nurse’s quarters, Louis again counted the number of ceiling tiles above his head as his eyes burned in the lack of sleep seeming to finally catch up to him. Primary had let out what seemed hours ago, and yet here he still sat with Mrs. Austin’s fingers smoothing down his arm gently as he reveled to the goose bumps rising to his skin in appreciation. Again Louis was waiting for Jay to find the time for him and again she’d let him down.

Sighing and unable to properly think of what he’d truly expected of her, Louis looked silently to Mrs. Austin as she smiled gently with a heavy hint of pity marring her gaze. He knew it was wrong, but Louis nearly wished Mrs. Austin were his mother and Jay his teacher so he’d only have to deal with her for a few hours out of the week before he could run home to open arms that would warmly accept him and bring him tightly in to cuddle him against the weather when it grew rough.

“You knackered?” Mrs. Austin mumbled as her fingers ran to Louis’ fringe as Louis sighed gently and nodded, Mrs. Austin’s clear and yet hooded eyes traveling Louis’ face over as she bit to her bottom lip in thought. “Louis, who did you mean you let down?”

“Harry.” Louis choked as he immediately turned his head away to hide the tears that brimmed to the thought of the only person that would be able to sweep the clouds from his mind.

“I thought the two of you were partners in crime!” Mrs. Austin hesitated as her fingers smoothed to the bandage across Louis’ cheek. “Did he hurt you, Louis? You can tell me-”

“It wasn’t him.” Louis ground out as he fixed Mrs. Austin to a stern look, her eyebrows rising slowly as she nodded to the blunt anger marring Louis’ weak face. “I hurt _him_ , and now I’ll pay for it.”

“You’re not in trouble, Louis-”

“This isn’t a simple thing I’ll be slapped on the wrist for!” Louis cut in as Mrs. Austin sat quietly with her eyebrows knitted together tightly in confusion. “I broke his heart and left him for the monster to tear apart, and I’m a bad friend.”

“What monster?” Louis rolled with his back to Mrs. Austin as he sniffled loudly and buried his face to the tiny, flat pillow of the cot.

“He said he loved me, and I didn’t have the courage to say I loved him back before I left.”

“But you love him?” Mrs. Austin prodded as Louis gave a simple nod of his head before he drew his knees tightly to his chest and pressed his fingers to the gaping wound of his middle, Mrs. Austin leaning over Louis gently as she moved his hand slowly away. “Why do you hold yourself like that?”

“So I won’t tear apart.” Louis whispered after a beat of silence, Mrs. Austin’s mind swirling to the confusion and dread that seemed infectious of Louis’ affliction as she made to roll Louis to face her when a sharp clearing of the throat sounded from the doorway.

As both teacher and student moved their eyes to Jay and the nurse stood cautiously behind her, Mrs. Austin stood slowly as Louis chose to roll his back to the opposite direction so he wouldn’t have to read the look of disgust instantly slashing to Jay’s lips and eyes. Taking a heavy step forward, Jay snapped her fingers loudly in Louis’ direction, as her gaze never broke to Mrs. Austin’s.

“Louis, come on-”

“Mrs. Tomlinson, I was just hoping to have a word!” Mrs. Austin cut in quickly as Jay’s face pulled into an ugly sneer that Louis’ didn’t have to see to know it was there.

“I’d rather not have a word seeing as my time is valuable and I think you’ve spent enough of it coddling my son-”

“Jay.” Mrs. Austin applied firmly as Jay’s fingers curled tightly to fists, Louis’ eyes widening to what he’d never thought would happen before him, as he wasn’t _supposed_ to know. “A moment.”

“Like I’ve got the time for your shit.” Jay snapped as she looked to Louis in hopes that he’d follow her, only to roll her eyes angrily to his turned back before she spun and stomped into the hallway, Mrs. Austin slowly following after, the nurse wisely closing the door behind them and yet Louis could still hear every defaming word spewing from Jay’s lips.

“Jay, I just want to talk about Louis-”

“I don’t need to talk to the likes of _you_ about my son.” Jay growled as she stepped toward Mrs. Austin who simply rounded her shoulders and stood a bit taller as the image of Louis curled to her chest in the rain brought about the motherly side within her.

“After what’s happened today, I think it would do some good to talk about it! I’m worried about Louis, and I know he’s been to hospital but he’s needing something more, a cuddle and a kiss-”

“I’m taking care of my son.” Jay spat as she instantly thought of clobbering the woman before her to death with her handbag that was at the ready to bludgeon.

“Jay, please just-”

“Do not speak to me directly, you insufferable bitch! You are here to teach him lessons and make sure he’s not gallivanting about in the trees, yeah? Don’t pretend to be something you’re not!”

“I am his teacher but I’m also his stepmum and I’m worried for him!” Mrs. Austin exploded as Jay’s face paled, Mrs. Austin’s cheeks blushing with color as Jay immediately shook her head in disbelief.

“You’re a disgusting little slag of a woman that stole his father away, so if you want to blame anyone for his behavior, I’d take a look in the mirror.” Jay’s finger poked hard to Mrs. Austin’s chest as Mrs. Austin’s eyes nearly crossed in embarrassment to the passing faculty that looked on in shock from their doorways, nearly wishing they’d escaped to the buses with the other children. “If it weren’t for you shagging that worthless pig and it wasn’t getting the tuition bill paid, believe me I’d find a better primary than this shit trap.”

“I’m trying to be civil in talking about Louis, because he broke today! Why does he have to break before he’s listened to? I’ve tried to get him to talk and he simply won’t-”

“As he shouldn’t! Who are you to try and step in to be his mum when he knows what you’ve done? He’s a child, but he’s not daft! He knows his father is gone to live with his primary teacher, and the fact he’s got to come deal with you daily is completely beyond my understanding of how he doesn’t retch every time he sees you.” Mrs. _Austin_ backed to the nurse’s door as Jay’s eyes filled angrily with tears. “You’ve ruined everything for him, and you won’t try to step in and make it all better now because I won’t let you! He’s mine, and I’d suggest you leave him be or I’ll have your job for incriminating your nose where it doesn’t belong!”

“He’s sick, Jay.” Mrs. Austin whispered as Jay shook her head, swallowing thickly as she eyed the woman up from her feet to her stupid, upswept hair that she _hated_.

“He’s been to hospital and come back with a clean bill, so if you wouldn’t mind-”

“He told me he wants to die.” Mrs. Austin rejected as Jay’s face settled darkly.

“He didn’t mean it-”

“He did, and I’d say by the cuts and scratches he’s willing to try his best to escape from a world that’s not listening.” Mrs. Austin shook her head as a tiny tear trickled her cheek. “You don’t have to like me or respect me, but respect and listen to what I say when Louis needs someone to talk to and to communicate with because he’s destructive to _himself_. His grades have fallen and the other boys have completely shunned him-”

“I’ve heard enough.” Jay demanded as she reached for the doorknob to the nurse’s quarters only to be again blocked by Mrs. Austin with a pleading look.

“I’m pregnant, Jay! And I think Louis needs to be evaluated before the baby is come because he _deserves_ the chance to know his sibling, but if he’s dangerous-”

“We won’t give a damn about your baby!” Jay snapped as she nearly towered over Mrs. Austin as her eyes traveled to the bump of her stomach that was neatly hidden by the large top she wore. “Get out of my way before you regret your decision in standing there looking stupidly.”

Slamming the door to Mrs. Austin’s back, Jay swept to the nurse’s quarters to look expectantly to the woman as she watched back to Jay with an incredulous look.

“Ma’am-”

“Have I got to sign him out or some bullshit, or am I allowed to take my son home with me?”

“You haven’t got to get a mouth with me!” The older woman boomed as she quickly stood with the wrinkles of her face further dented in anger. “Your sad little boy excused himself to the toilet after he heard ‘is mum make a mockery of his teacher.”

“As she already makes a mockery of herself.” Jay spat back quickly as she looked evilly over the nurse who stood her ground, Jay’s work shoes squeaking across the tiled floor as she stood before the closed door of the single toilet. “Louis? We’re going home, hurry up!”

Waiting impatiently, Jay knocked several times as Mrs. Austin stood to the doorway of the nurse’s quarters wiping her cheeks quickly as her stomach ached sickly to the knowledge in the hate and discontent she’d not known had existed to the extent that it did.

“Louis!” Jay barked as she knocked heavily to the door only to jiggle the knob to find the door swinging away from her heavy push to reveal an empty washroom and a tiny window above the toilet that was opened just enough for a boy of Louis’ size to squeeze through in _escape_.

  
  


Louis didn’t have a place to run or a home to flee to in comfort, but he knew why he returned to the clearing. There was solace and quiet in the smattering of the rain to the branches overhead as the darkness seemed to consume the woods and bathe Louis in the shroud of night as he stood dejectedly before his little tree and the mound of dirt that sounded and reminded Louis of Ginger’s final resting spot. In laying to that bed while listening and flinching to Jay ripping apart Mrs. Austin, his stepmother, Louis decided that his decision be damned! If he was going to be tortured and ripped apart by a demon that ran by the cloak of night regardless, Louis was at least going to seek comfort within the warmth of Harry’s arms and those gorgeous eyes that would’ve melted away the pain that crippled him now.

He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but Louis wasn’t surprised to find the house locked up tightly with the shades drawn, though in craning his head back to the rain that kissed coolly to his cheek, Louis could see the light in Harry’s bedroom was on, and knew that Harry was there. It was bittersweet, to be so close and yet so far, because though he’d not meant to do it because he’d never _wanted_ to do it, Louis couldn’t just crawl back and beg that Harry forgive him because Louis couldn’t forgive himself.

He’d been stupid and foolish and cowardly and Harry was none of those things. Harry was strong and solid in his decisions. He was sweet and gentle and warm and Louis had hardened that all beneath a shell that he knew he was never going to be able to break through again, and that’s what killed him most. Louis was a murderer that hadn’t actually, physically killed anyone, and yet he felt as though he might as well have.

Sniffling and swiping a sleeve to his eyes as Louis growled in frustration to the perfect thing he’d ruined, Louis wasn’t afraid of what could’ve been lurking in the dark around him. The monster could’ve spawned and regenerated to have fifteen others alongside it, and Louis would’ve stood his ground. If this was love, then Louis understood what it meant in the saying that love made people do crazy things, because he’d died for his love, he’d killed for his love and he would sacrifice in any way that he could to make sure that his love be happy again one day, even if it meant without him.

And yet Louis was selfish, his feet slowly dragging through the leaves as his middle bunched and ripped to splatter his jumper wetly with blood as he somehow made his way to the castle that dripped and ran through with cold wind, as Louis realized he’d never go away because he needed Harry to survive. His love was stronger than any most twice his age had experienced, and Louis knew it, he felt it! Never again in his life would he love another human being as he loved Harry, and he’d messed it all up by the cruel words of his mates and his own childish, erratic fears.

Lying heavily to his side, Louis didn’t know how long he stayed there in the tiny castle of twigs and thistles in the rotted and hollowed trunk of the tree, holding his knees tightly to his middle as he bled out to the leaves and mud beneath as he wept for his stolen light. He was cold but he didn’t feel it, because this is what it meant to be empty, to feel nothing. And yet it was all worse as Louis could feel Harry so close to him, envisioning that sweet smile and those stupid, tossed curls piled on top of Harry’s head that Louis loved so much that he couldn’t contain the gasping pleas that continuously fell from his lips as he quietly prayed that God take him away; anything, a bargain or a bet that Louis would do anything if only to feel whole again.

Yet when the bright light fell to Louis’ face, he knew it wasn’t God that was come to take him away, the gentle hands quickly laying the light to the ground between the squatted feet as a firm grip fell to Louis’ jumper as he was lifelessly drug from his _hole_ to be slung to Anne’s warm chest as she softly cooed in his ear that everything was going to be alright. Shivering and clutching to Anne’s shoulders with all his might, Louis breathed in the familiar scent that smelled lightly of Harry as he began to again weep loudly to the loss of his love that seemed hopelessly crumbled forever, his face turned into Anne’s neck as he couldn’t bother to think of the arms of the _monster_ clutching him affectionately to the sign that Louis had _lost_.

Passing through what he assumed to be the house, Louis reveled to the slight dash of warmth filtering his body before there was a panicked wail and a shuffling that Louis didn’t dare open his eyes to, in fear that seeing him again would only break his heart further.

“Louis!” Harry screamed as he was quickly snatched away round the middle by a man that Harry gripped to tightly, his own face sallow and drained of color as he longed to confide to Louis that he had the same fear that neither his mother or stepfather would be able to understand. “Louis!

“Harry, no.” Harry’s stepfather inquired sternly as Anne opened the front door to expose them all back to the cold and the rain as Anne slowly made her way across the front lawn toward the swirling red and blue lights, a hysterical Jay faced with a grim, desperate Mark stood within the rain to claim their invisible prince from his throne of weeds and false hope.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“He who learns must suffer; and even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart within our own despair, against our will soon comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.”

  
  


[What Remains Of Our Chalk Road](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqAUPOHxT4U)

  
  


Quietly watching the river of water tracing the curbside and flowing to the small storm drain, Louis gently leaned his head back to the frame of the window seat in the front room. His heart still hung heavy and his eyes were scorched due to lack of sleep, but Louis found everything only grew worse with the darkness that would wind to entrap his mind and remind him of the wrong he’d done. Frowning to the foot nudging to his leg, Louis looked to older Harry sat across from him as his long legs pulled up slightly to either side of Louis’ thighs, his toes dug to the bottom hem of Louis’ jumper as his eyes slowly traced Louis’ face.

Smiling tightly and shoving to Harry’s foot as it slipped from the windowsill and smacked to the floor, Louis snorted lowly as Harry’s hair flopped over his forehead with the quick movement. Settling back within himself, Louis watched as Harry put himself back to the way he’d been, his lips never moving from the statuesque role he’d fallen into as he blinked as if a silent greeting to Louis’ happiness. Turning his forehead to the cool glass that was slicked with the rain, Louis watched in dejection to the streetlamp that flickered in the confusion of the darkness muddled to the middle of the day with the thick cover of dark clouds overhead.

Closing his eyes and wincing to the burn, Louis breathed gently to Harry’s large hand covering his own as he longed to be back in that tiny, insignificant castle snuggled up tightly to Harry’s side as they waited for the rain to pass. Louis could see how Harry would tangle their fingers together and bring them before his lips as he slowly brought Louis to his front-

“Louis!” A tiny voice crowed as Louis snapped from his daydream, Harry’s eyebrows raised to what _he_ was able to see as well from Louis’ mind before Louis looked over to Lottie stood by his side with her arms raised. “Up, Louis!”

“Lottie, I don’t want to play.” Louis mumbled as Lottie’s lower lip jutted out and her fingers gripped tightly to Louis in begging sense.

“Bubby, up!”

“Fine.” Louis sighed as his fingers trailed Lottie’s sides gently only to send the small girl into hysterics before Louis was swinging her to his lap and surprising himself by wrapping Lottie tenderly to his chest.

“Love.” Lottie sighed lightly as her fingers began twisting to Louis’ limp and un-kept fringe as Louis leaned his head back from smooshing his cheek to Lottie’s clean, soft hair.

“I love you, too.”

Harry’s lips quirked to the sweet notion before him as he dug his toes beneath Louis’ thighs, Louis looking to Harry sweetly as he took notice to what appeared to be two bird’s wings poking from the collar of Harry’s shirt.

“Tell stories, Bubby.” Lottie demanded gently as she managed to cross her legs against Louis’ stomach, Louis poking to Lottie’s cheeks gently as he smiled to the bright illumination of blue and lavender tickling innocently to the wide, curious stance.

“About what? I haven’t got any stories left.” Louis implored with a gathering of one side of his mouth as Lottie’s tiny eyebrows wrinkled in dissatisfaction.

“ _Stories_.”

“I-” Louis cut off as he fixed to Harry’s fingers trailing down the steam gathered to the window from the warm breath trailing his lips as Louis thought carefully before he too was huffing to the cold glass. “Alright, we’re here, see?”

Louis began doodling what he tried to make the United Kingdom as he placed a large X to where London was sat, his eyes tracing Lottie’s face as she began nodding quickly.

“Well one day me and you and Harry are going to get a train here and take it here.” Louis’ finger drew a slight, dotted line to where he knew the airport was as his mind flourished with ideas. “It seems silly to want to leave, yeah? But I bet Harry and I could find a nice primary for you to go so you wouldn’t have to deal with all the darkness here. Somewhere with sun!”

Lottie sat quietly as she watched Louis intently as he seemed to plot out the rest of their lives as if a puff of smoke and a dream.

“And we would be outside in the warm sun and roll around in the grass and not have to worry about the monster coming into the house anymore.” Lottie tensed to the word monster as she checked over her shoulders quickly before her wide, gentle eyes were focused to Louis. “I wish you were older, so you could tell mum that you’d seen it as well.”

“No.” Lottie retorted stubbornly as Louis rolled his eyes and looked to Harry, his long arm stretched to press his fingers to the glass as his arm began to fade gently away, Louis noticing the lack of fingerprints left in Harry’s wake.

“Lottie, I’ve told you-” Jay paused in her rant as she rounded into the front room to find Lottie curling closer to Louis’ chest, Louis’ head rested again back to the frame of the window as his fingers continued to move to the steam that Harry created with pursed lips before he simply _vanished_. “Louis, stop smudging up the window and put Lottie down so she can go be put up for her nap.”

Louis complied slowly as Lottie clung to his neck, her warm lips pressing wetly to Louis’ cheek as she stood firmly before turning to Jay and waddling from the room with her nose stuck up in the air, Jay following heavily as she tossed a look to Louis doubtfully before she slowly followed the toddler from the room. Sighing, Louis breathed again to the window as his finger squeaked out the image of two little stick boys stood holding hands, a proud crown displayed to the head of one as Louis smiled warmly.

Tucking an arm tightly to his middle, Louis could feel the warmth of blood gathering as the sight of Liam returning from primary with Zayn in tow sent a rocket of angst to his stomach as he knew that somewhere, his friends were still going to primary, still playing and still laughing _without_ him.

“What did I say about the window? Stop it.” Jay snapped suddenly as Louis jumped to not hearing her enter the room again, her fingers locking tightly to Louis’ wrist as she pulled him from the window seat to plop him to the couch beside her.

“I’ll go get something to wipe it off with, then.” Louis mumbled as he made to stand before Jay was snapping tightly and instructing that Louis sit.

“I’ll do it, but I guess it’s time we’ve talked about everything.”

“I don’t want to talk.” Louis declined as he shook his head and again tried to stand before Jay’s hand pushed him lightly to sit before her as she swung her legs round before herself and locked her fingers to Louis’ knees.

“You don’t have a choice anymore. We’re going to talk about all of this and we’re going to put it behind us so we can move on.” Louis’ throat caught to the thought of moving on without Harry as his face instantly crumped, Jay’s anger ceasing somewhere in her chest and trickling down her back as she sighed, _tired_. “What do I have to do, Louis? Where did I go wrong that you look at me like I’m this awful, terrible person?”

“I don’t want to talk!” Louis interjected as he ducked his head, his arms folding tightly to his middle as he felt himself loosen and slip apart.

“Damn it, Louis! I’ll not have another woman tell me how it’s fitting to raise my son when my son won’t let me help! I’ve had it with this shit! You’ve been nothing but trouble since you became friends with Harry and I think it’s best-”

“Don’t.” Louis growled suddenly as he raised his head with a fury melted within his eyes that caught Jay off-guard, her fingers locking tighter to Louis’ knees as Louis now refused to back down.

“Don’t what? Help you-”

“You’ve never helped me with anything, and I’ve already broken his heart once because of _you_ and the other boys!” Louis’ eyes began to fill with tears of frustration as Jay’s lips tightened.

“Sometimes people aren’t good for us Louis, and I can see that with you and Harry. You’re unhealthy for one another and you’ve become so quickly attached that now that something has come up, you’ve both been in a rut-”

“How do you know anything about him?” Louis snapped as he shoved Jay’s hands away from his knees, Jay’s fingers curling to the couch cushion as she narrowed her eyes carefully to think of her next words.

“Anne called the other day to ask how you were after she found you, and we talked a bit and Harry came up-”

“How is he?” Louis demanded as he sat a bit straighter, Jay snorting in disbelief as she frowned in pity.

“Jesus, you’re obsessed-”

“How is he?” Louis shouted slightly as Jay again gripped Louis by the knees before he could dart from the couch.

“He’s not doing well.” Jay hesitated as Louis’ heart sunk, the thought of Harry withering with a _cold_ bringing heaviness to his chest. “Louis, I think you need to know something of Harry-”

“Is he okay?” Louis whispered as a tiny tear trickled down his cheek, Jay nodding slowly as she assessed Louis’ reaction.

“He’s alright, I just don’t think it would be wise that you and Harry be friends because Harry’s not going to stand about to play with you for much longer after all this-”

“What more do you want?” Louis exploded as he managed to wiggle from Jay’s grip to stand by the couch, his hands instantly clambering to his middle as Jay’s eyes zeroed in to where Louis’ arms grew wet with the blood that had managed to seep through the light material of his jumper. “I’ve already said I couldn’t be his friend and made him cry, but I _want_ to be with him! You and the other boys are so jealous that I love him more than you and you can’t stand it!”

“You love him?” Jay coughed as Louis’ hands balled to fists, his head nodding quickly as he fixed her to a look of disgust.

“Love? It’s when you care for someone and you’d stay with them even though you’re made fun of and people think you’re mad-”

“Who’s making fun? I’m just making a suggestion!” Jay shouted as Louis rolled his eyes and stormed to the entrance hall, his runners tugged up over his socks before Jay was there, blocking the front door.

“Everyone makes fun of me for wanting to be with Harry and I’m tired of it! I’ll just go live in his back lawn if I have to!”

“Oh Louis, grow up!” Jay shouted as she bent slightly to fix herself to Louis’ eyelevel, Louis backing away angrily as his fingers clawed to the stomach of his jumper. “You’ll outgrow all this silly nonsense _and_ Harry and those ridiculous fantasies he’s filled your head with.” Jay breezed as she leaned away from the door, her eyes filled with judgment as Louis saw _red_. “I mean Christ Louis, you’re eight years old, isn’t it time to stop being such a baby?”

“You’re such a bitch.” Louis burst lowly as his nostrils flared, Jay’s eyes widening in shock as she quite literally fell back to the doorway jamb of the front room as Lottie began wailing from her bedroom down the hallway. “You don’t know anything about me or Harry, and if I _could_ I would leave and never come back and then you’d be sorry you didn’t listen.”

“Louis.” Jay breathed stupidly as her mouth gaped, her eyes fixated to Louis’ face as Louis seemed to gather to courage to speak up for himself in a way he’d never experienced before.

“I hate you and this village and Zayn and Josh and all the other morons that have made fun of me for being a little sad and finding happiness with Harry! He’s different, but he makes me happy and you can’t stand it because you’re a bitter old hag who can’t stand that I love Mrs. Austin as much as dad-” Louis cut short as Jay’s hand landed loudly to his healing cheek, her other hand covering her mouth shakily as the tears rolled from her wide, stricken eyes to Louis’ hand clawing to the scratch that began to tingle and feel as though it had caught on fire. Unable to speak for a moment, Louis’ voice ran weak with weariness. “I love Harry, and if you don’t love him then you don’t love me.”

Louis couldn’t stand to see Jay cry, and yet he knew he couldn’t stand the pain and darkness dwelling and waiting to swallow him again as he gripped blindly for the doorknob, Jay nearly falling to her ass as her throat began to clutch and release little squeaking noises.

“Where are you going? Louis, your cheek!” Jay choked as she reached for Louis’ jumper, Louis shaking from her reach as he faced the onslaught of rain beating to the road before him.

“Away-”

“Louis, I’m just trying to help! Please let me, I’m _sorry_!” Jay cried suddenly as she broke, her eyes bloodshot and sore as she fought to clear her vision to the tiny boy setting off into the rain, her fingers clutching to the front door as she wondered where she’d lost him. “Louis, get back here! Louis! Curiosity is a heavy burden to carry and I’m only trying to help!”

“You wouldn’t know how to help!” Louis spat as he spun to his heel, his fringe wet and slicked into his eyes as he shook his head to Jay’s pathetic stance, all dominance fled from her body to expose her true weakness. “I’m willing to bear the weight of caring for someone, even if I have to break! You’ve just given up and forgotten what it is to love and to feel and you’re bitter and dead because of it! I won’t be like you, I’d die before I turned out like you!”

“You don’t mean it!” Jay called weakly as she stepped to the rain before she was hidden back to the doorway of the house where she was reigning queen. “Louis, you won’t treat me like this and when the baby is come you’ll clean your act up!”

Louis’ feet stuttered near the curb as he paused for a second before frowning and ducking his head to the rain, Jay’s hand instinctively moving to the small bump completely hidden beneath _her_ blousy shirt as she painfully watched Louis streak away through the rain.

The thought of another tiny human in his house to be hurt by Louis was overwhelming in shadowing the joy he should’ve had with fear as he pictured a tiny baby lying to a crib with the monster stood overtop. Dodging a car that quickly swung onto the street, Louis broke to the main road as the trees overhead shielded him slightly from the rain that still dripped to his shoulders, as Louis knew what he had to do this time for the better of everyone.

Louis had to go away, but Louis wasn’t going to go away without Harry so he knew he would have to beg. With the prospect of another tiny, innocent life coming in, Louis couldn’t leave Harry behind _or_ stay for fear that the monster would move on to whatever new life was come. Shoving the hair from his forehead and ignoring the aching burn of his middle that throbbed unmercifully, Louis wasn’t hesitant in breaking through his worn path through the brambles as he wondered what it would be like to see Harry again, to stand before him knowing what Louis had done.

And yet Louis could imagine that Harry would still be beautiful, even if he were stricken and unhappy with swollen eyes and cracked, dried lips, Louis knew Harry would still steal his breath away. The prospect of again breathing in that familiar, gentle smell or looking into those eyes that carried not quite the essence of the childhood Louis longed for, his feet carried him to stand awkwardly to the middle of the clearing before he was fully ready and capable to think of what his plan of action was going to be.

What if Harry turned him away? What if Harry hated him and had a new best mate? Louis’ heart squeezed in fear to the prospect, but knew he couldn’t leave without trying. Turning his eyes to his tiny tree that was slumped with rain over the mound of dirt marking Ginger’s grave, Louis sniffled and wiped the water from his eyes as he looked toward the house only to squeak in surprise.

“Harry.” Louis breathed quietly as he took a hesitant step forward, Harry’s hands falling from his hood that slowly smashed over his curls and shaded his face as Harry stepped away from the shadow and shelter from beneath the raised deck.

Harry said nothing, though Louis watched the large puff of smoke curl from between his lips and the hood of his coat as Harry seemed to hesitate before he turned for the stairs leading overhead, Louis’ hand reaching out to claim Harry back and call him toward him, and yet his throat squeezed. Louis had been selfish in trying to push Harry away, and Louis understood that Harry was still afflicted and probably hated him.

“I’m sorry!” Louis called suddenly as Harry’s feet only paused for a second before he continued up the stairs with his back toward Louis was who stood dripping with his middle and heart laid bare. “I’m sorry I hurt you and I know it was stupid, but I can’t make it without you! I think about you and I’m so sorry!”

Harry’s feet seemed to glue to the step he was stood halfway to the kitchen door that seemed a million miles away now as Louis slowly began making his way toward Harry’s aura that seemed to call him in.

“Please, you don’t have to forgive me just tell me you won’t forget me and that you’ll still think of me too.” Louis seemed to plead quietly as Harry suddenly turned and flung himself down the stairs, Louis quickly stopping in his step as he prepared for impact of Harry’s raised arm to strike him, only to breathe loudly to the release of air and slight sob of relief as Harry’s arms wrapped tightly to his neck.

“You’re here.” Harry muttered to Louis’ neck gently as Louis nodded and wrapped his arms to Harry’s waist, the onslaught of tears unable to restrain themselves as Louis wept to Harry’s coat that was slick to his nose and lips.

“I can’t leave without you, I won’t make it.”

“You have to go, Louis.” Harry seemed to choke as his arms protested and wrapped Louis up tighter, Louis frowning to Harry’s coat as he managed to smother the hood from Harry’s head to expose those wild curls to his closed eyes as he turned his nose to the familiar smell that filled him with light and belonging.

“I don’t want to.” Louis whined slightly as Harry’s fingers clawed desperately to the back of Louis’ jumper as Louis wished he could stay there in that moment forever, though it was riddled with sadness as well as joy.

“I can’t hurt you anymore, and staying away is the only way I’ll know you’re safe.” Harry mumbled as his tiny fingers tangled to the back of Louis’ hair softly as Louis clutched to Harry with as much strength as he could, both boys ignoring the snatching open of the kitchen door above as Anne froze in her step to the boys wrapped around the other below. “We can’t play anymore, Louis-”

“No.” Louis dejected stubbornly as a tiny gasp and cry fell from his chest as he thought of what it would be like to spend more than a couple weeks feeling the way he had. “I can’t go away and be okay-”

“I’m hurting you!” Harry shouted suddenly as his face crumpled in both anger and pain as he hid his tears to Louis’ hair as his lips searched for Louis’ ear in quiet understanding as Anne nearly read the panic radiating from their form below. “We’re not _good_ for each other.”

“I don’t care-”

“Harry, I think you should come in from the rain.” Anne called gently as she covered her eyes from the tiny droplets of Heaven and raised her cardigan to shield her hair as she stepped barefoot to the edge of the deck with apprehension heavy on her mind.

“Please, I was stupid and I know that, but don’t give up on me! I know I did a dumb thing and I realize it but I can’t Harry, I can’t!” Louis rushed as he felt Harry begin to pull away, Louis reluctant to release him as Harry stood away with his head and curls bowed to the rain.

“I’m not mad, because I understand,” Harry looked up slowly to meet to Louis’ eyes as Louis immediately read the familiar despair laced to that slowly dying hue of striking green. “I don’t want to be the reason you’re in hospital or being made fun of.”

“I don’t care what anyone says anymore, they don’t matter-”

“Your cheek.” Harry mumbled absently as his fingers raised slowly to ghost over the red mark littered around the scratch healing to Louis’ cheek that still stung from Jay’s harsh affection of _love_.

“Harry!” Anne instructed as Harry turned slightly to the stern tone echoing through her voice as Louis stepped forward to grip to Harry’s wrist, exposing the still healing wounds wrapped tightly to their respective bandages.

“Please, we can run away together.” Harry paused with a peculiar look crossing his face as Louis jumped to the time given. “I don’t have much but I have enough for us to get to the city and we’ll go away! We’ll never have to look back on this stupid village and we can escape-”

“I can’t.” Harry decided with a fluttering of his bottom lip, Louis’ eyes falling darker in disappointment as he shook his head quickly.

“I won’t leave without you.”

“Harry, now!” Anne shouted suddenly as both Harry and Louis jumped, Harry hesitant in turning away before he clambered back to Louis’ chest, his arms locking tightly behind Louis’ head as Louis was careful to breathe in and memorize the soft touch encircling his body before Harry was gone and Louis was left cold again.

Leaving his head turned toward the mud squishing around his runners, Louis was able to hold a solid face until the sound of the door shutting and locking overhead met his ears, two streams of warm tears flailing his face as Louis spun away unsure of whether he was going to run away with Harry to his side or not. Kicking through the leaves and brushing past the soggy and drooping castle, Louis was lost in his thoughts and memories of Harry wrapped around him beneath his duvet in his comfortable bed as he nearly sprawled to his face at sight of the main road and a strap wrapped to his shoe.

Mumbling and catching himself by his hands that stung slightly to the contact, Louis was marveled to the fact that his rucksack was still in the place he’d dropped it last as it sat sopping and pitiful, drenched from the many hours of rain it had endured. Moving from sight to crouch within the tall weeds, Louis unzipped the back pouch only to find his things still in place, a tiny _flower_ somehow nestled to the top of a few rumpled pieces of paper as Louis’ cheeks pulled gently to a smile.

Though it wasn’t much, it meant that Harry had found it, had been watching and waiting for Louis and had been thinking of him as well, and that’s all the time Louis needed. With a fleeting decision, Louis gathered his rucksack to his chest as he turned back for the trees to coax his legs through the mud that spattered and ruined his trouser legs until he was brushing past the swing and ducking into the castle, the rucksack laid heavily before him as he settled back to the cushion of wet and mossy leaves before a pen and a crumbled piece of somewhat dried paper were perched between his fingers.

With only his knee to write, Louis bit heavily to his bottom lip as he allowed his mind to wander freely, the sound of the _ocean_ meeting his ears tentatively as Louis had thought of the first time he’d constructed the very castle with Harry by his side without knowledge of the terrible and frightening things to come; and so he wrote. Louis wrote of what he felt and what he needed to say, and though he knew it was a far chance that Harry would ever find and read the note, Louis took solace in finding the only outlet he could comprehend in releasing the inner thoughts that nearly drove him mad from never being able to find a way to properly express them without someone calling him a loon.

Minutes passed and turned into an hour, which shifted into an hour and a quarter past, Louis’ hand sore and cramped from the squished and awful writing as he didn’t dare read back through his crazy and muffled thoughts, simply choosing to fold the paper tightly together and zip his rucksack back up onto itself before it was slung to his back and Louis was clambering back to the light mist that accompanied the backside of the storm that was shadowing the valley in a veil of smog and discontent.

Overlooking the twisted work of the thistles and twigs, Louis was careful in slipping the crumpled piece of paper to a place where it would show most, just incase Harry one day happened upon it and decided that he’d actually forgiven Louis enough to read what he’d been thinking in his decision. And yet maybe he wouldn’t, but Louis didn’t mind, his head swiveling gently back to the house that sat sealed up tightly to the unwelcome announcing of Louis’ coming, Louis sighing gently and again ducking his head as he began for home where he knew a stern hand was waiting to fall again to his cheek or his bum.

It still stood that Louis was set in his decision, though it dawned on him as he crashed gently through the fallen branches and snapping roots beneath his feet that Louis hadn’t wanted to run away from the small village for what had seemed so long, and yet it now felt as though he wouldn’t have any other choice. And while Louis was set and unable to be deterred, Louis _wanted_ Harry, he needed Harry to come along with him because Louis refused to move on and simply exist in a world where Harry didn’t; because it was all too easy in simply walking down the road to find his happiness.

Nearly to the road again and faced with dread and a heavy heart, Louis was ignorant to the tiny plea before the kitchen door to the sealed house was opened quickly with an uttering of a lost hat that was secretly stuffed to Harry’s coat pocket was called behind himself as Harry nearly fell down the stairs in his haste. Checking quickly over his shoulder, Harry darted for the direction of the castle, as he was lost from the loom of his fortress reigning overhead as he stood before the hollowed tree, his eyes searching quickly to what he’d thought he’d seen from a side window of the downstairs.

Tracing his fingers to the intricate weaving that he’d sat in wonder to watching Louis do until he’d managed to pick it up and help out as well, Harry’s finger finally caught to the crumpled piece of paper as he collected it up the sleeve of his coat and looked longingly to the direction he knew Louis had gone, his eyes swinging back to the muddied and drowning fort before him as he could see the space where Louis had sat all the time while Harry had watched on in curious longing from afar. Clinging to the note as to be kept in secret, Harry hurried back for the clearing to climb the steps that would hide him from the monster that prowled from the trees, those dark lips pulled back in a snarl to expose all those devastating teeth as the smell of Louis lingered along with a sense of belonging and hope and _anger_.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

 

[The Time Will Never Come Back](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZT5xPM3THI)

  
  


_Harry,_

_Is it wrong to be so selfish? I just want to go away and not have to worry about you being hurt like it was that easy, but I feel that it would be ~~impossibble~~ impossible to leave alone. I was so daft to let the other boys pull me away from you, and yet I know that’s exactly what they wanted, but they’re not happy and I’m no(t) happy, so what was the point of breaking us ~~up~~ down?_

_I’ve thought of the places we could go ever ~~sen~~ since I met you, and I don’t regret the rude things been said to me. I just want to know that you’re still my mate, because I believe we can make it. Even if we only make it to the edge of the village, I think we could, yeah? S’long as we’ve got the other._

_I’ve never experienced anything like what it means to be around you, and everyday I see an older you walking by my side just like I saw you by my side the day you came to primary. We’re breaking the rules, but it doesn’t matter now. I’ve seen the dark in both of us and if anything, it means we’re only meant to ~~belonng~~ belong to the other for as long as we live until forever._

_It sounds silly, but I have you in a way I don’t think many understand and I should never expect them to, because I belong by your side holding your hand, even in the rain and the cold. You’re the best person I’ve ever met, and you don’t have to come away with me, but I wouldn’t mind all that much if you did._

_Can you imagine what it would be like? To wake up in the morning with the sun on our faces without those spaces of dark holding all the creepy things that are waiting to pull us away? To go out and just be boys without the ~~respoinsibillitty~~ responsibility of having to grow up just yet. I don’t think growing up is what everyone says it is, because how can it be a better thing if you’re only more aware of how much you're hurt?_

_Dunno if you’ll find this but I have so much more to say that wouldn’t fit on this ruddy piece of paper, but you’re so ~~pretty~~ different and you make my heart beat quick and my stomach gets all knotted up and I get confused. It must mean something, right? If not, I’ll not tell me mum because I hate hospital and she would find some excuse to test me again. _

_I still have so much to tell you, because ~~I think~~ I know I love you too._

_I’m not the strongest or the smartest or even taller than you, but I will try as hard as I can to keep you safe, and when I get bloody stupid just smack me round a bit and tell me to stop and take my arm and lead me somewhere new._

_I want to be here, wherever here is with you, and I’ll stay here so long as you want._

_I’ll never break our promise._

_Louis._

  
  


⊱⊰


	24. A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“No individual has any right to come into the world and go out of it without leaving behind him distinct and legitimate reasons for having passed through; in this life, we’re all merely just a spirit passing through, unchained and pure.”

  
  


[Walk In Regret](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shlpQ75EsNM)

  
  


Time had become somewhat of a troubling staple in Louis’ life, and it drove him crazy. Without word from Harry for what seemed days, Louis found himself slowly growing more and more miserable, his face falling into a permanent scowl that he wouldn’t even be able to recognize as himself if he were to look in a mirror. His life was a mess and Louis wasn’t sure how it had all come about, but he knew that everyday that he woke up, he would check beneath his bed to the extra bag packed just in case he one day would muster the courage to pull up his trousers and leave without looking back to the house as he had so many times before on so many people he loved.

Primary was no longer fun and Louis’ grades were slowly slipping, Mrs. Austin’s face glowing from her freshly revealed pregnancy as it seemed even she had forgotten what it was to truly see to Louis’ wellbeing, but it wasn’t surprising. Everyday the hole of Louis’ middle seemed to rip out further in his time away from Harry in hanging suspension as he simply longed to feel the comfort of what it was like to not hurt anymore. It was as if Louis were stuck on auto-pilot, again going through the normal motions of everyday life, but he could no longer smiled. Everyday his lips grew tighter as his eyes grew darker, and it was no better that it frightened everyone else away from having the courage to ask him what was wrong.

Creasing his eyebrows further and picking to the bandages that were peeling from the skin of his wrists, Louis wished he’d never had to leave the house to come back to the hellhole of a primary, and yet there he sat. After he’d blown up to Jay, he’d come home to a swift beating of his bum and a sworn statement that Jay wasn’t going to defend Louis anymore if he despised her so much.

“I’m so excited for you!” A voice squealed suddenly as Louis was snapped from his trance, his eyes swinging to the group of girls clustered around Mrs. Austin leant to her desk as she tossed her head back with a laugh.

“I’m quite excited as well! Mine and my husband’s first!”

“D’you know what it’s going to be?” A little girl prattled as she jumped up and down to the balls of her feet, Louis rolling his eyes as he grumbled and glanced to the clock in wishing for once that time would be on his side and end his misery of being stuck inside to the pouring rain beyond the window.

“I’m hoping for a little girl! I’ve already got-” Louis’ ears perked as Mrs. Austin cut short, Louis’ skin crawling to the feeling of her eyes on the back of his head as he dug the lead tip of his pencil further to a hole drilled to the top corner of his desk. “What do the lot of you think?”

“Girl!”

“It should be a girl!”

“Girls are so much better!” A chorus rang out as the boys gathered to the other side of the room seemed to grumble and scoff to the thought of girls outranking them as Zayn and Josh looked to Louis with tensed eyes, Louis visibly squirming in his seat to the dread that settled within his chest.

It had been weeks since he’d had any sort of contact with the other boys, and it was drilling slowly away to his stability. In this time of conflict and darkness, Louis just wanted something that wouldn’t make him feel like he wanted to fling himself to the traffic speeding by in their haste to escape as well. Why was it so complicated to simply have someone pay attention for once without Louis asking for it? Why would no one simply offer their hand in assistance? Because that’s what Louis needed, the corners of his mouth tucking tightly together as he felt the heat rise in his face that signaled he was about to tear up like the child he was, but didn’t feel like.

Standing slowly and steadily to the woozy state of his head and the blurred vision that threatened to expose his inner thoughts, Louis didn’t bother to look to Mrs. Austin’s watch as her hand lay flat to her stomach, softly stroking as Louis fled the classroom to the hallway of chattering and milling children. It had been a long time since Louis had looked anyone in the eyes, or that anyone had dared to look back since the incident Louis had last had, and he wasn’t sure if he was alright with it or if it was further adding to the cuts stretching from his front around to his spine and crippling him still.

Louis would say that he was ready to give up if he hadn’t already, his teeth cutting to his bottom lip as a large boy shoved past in a hurry to smash Louis to the wall without a thought of actually ever having touched a living person, because maybe Louis _wasn’t_ living anymore. Elbows in front of him, Louis fought his way to the toilets as the door gently shut behind him to drench him in quiet, his head leaned back to the door as a deep sigh fell from his chest to filter to the echoing room before him as Louis thought of the time Harry had been here.

Finding comfort in something so small and insignificant, Louis lay his face to his palms as he chuckled lightly to once opening the stall door the second time he’d come to retrieve Harry to find Harry standing bare and proud, a shuffling and unlocking of a stall door quickly snapping Louis out of his haze as he stood straight to _Liam_ walking to the sinks and freezing in looking to Louis.

“Louis.” Liam breathed softly as Louis’ fingers tangled together, his eyebrows drawn tightly in concentration and desperation as he simply wanted to run to Liam’s chest and gather within his lost mate to reassure him that everything was going to be okay.

“Hi-” Louis cut short as the door behind him opened hard into his back, Louis quickly jumping from the way as Zayn burst in, his nostrils flared in frustration as he looked first to Liam before fixing Louis to a deadly look that caused Louis to inwardly cringe.

“You were supposed to tell me you were coming so I could meet you.” Zayn snapped in Liam’s direction as his eyes never left Louis’, Liam sighing frustration as he quickly ran his hands beneath the cool stream of water before wiping them to his trousers.

“I just forgot, yeah? Come on, leave him alone.” Liam prompted softly as he tugged to Zayn’s jumper in passing, Zayn’s lips curling further down in disgust, as Louis was first to break the challenging stare. “Zayn!”

“Alright!”

Louis moved dejectedly from the way as he ducked his head, the knot of his throat bobbing slightly as Zayn and Liam filed warily out, Louis waiting for what seemed an eternity for the door to shut behind them and his ears to be overwhelmed to the acute silence that followed. Watching his shoes, Louis timidly raised his face to look at himself slowly over in the mirror as he frowned and realized he hated himself too, and he still couldn’t blame the other boys.

Louis had been the one to be sucked up into the mess of everything that had happened, let himself become consumed and overwrought with this fantasy that life would one day work out and be perfect, and it stung to know that a dream so simple and so undemanding would never come true. As with Harry, Louis knew it was a long shot, but he would never truly fail in wishing for the life where everyone would stop to notice the bags beneath Louis’ eyes weren’t from sleep and that he’d not been the one to inflict the wounds marring his young skin.

Scowling in disgust to his messed and dirty hair and the hollowed nature of his cheekbones, Louis knew finally that he was ready, and it was a _peculiar_ thing to realize. Though he be small, Louis was more mature than half of the adults that had looked to him in pity and distraught disbelief simply because they’d not encountered what it meant to walk to the brink of death and alluding darkness that dwelled within a part of the soul that would forever taint and stain.

Unable to remember why he’d even come in the first place, Louis jumped to the accentuated ring of the bell perched to the corner of the bathroom as the feet beyond the other side of the door began stampeding for the front doors, Louis digging his hands tightly to the front pockets of his trousers as he prepared himself in ducking his head and quickly shoving into the chaos of another day gone. Preparing for the slew of what he assumed to be a thousand questions branched from Mrs. Austin’s concern, Louis looked expectantly to her desk upon entering the room to find her gone, her things collected and her desktop pristine as the light was shut off and everyone else had disappeared.

Frowning to the disappointment that he shouldn’t have had, Louis quickly zipped up his rucksack and slung the still disgusting thing to his back, his chin poking out in solidarity as he again rushed to mingle with the other children that should’ve been in the hallway, and yet _weren’t_. Gripping tightly to the shoulder straps of his rucksack cutting unforgivingly to his armpits, Louis ducked into each classroom only to find each empty, the echoing remains of the children that had been there still seeming to ring in his ears as Louis came to a sick realization before he was shoving through the front doors to stand still within the rain that seemed to increase upon his arrival.

The buses were all gone, the staff cars thinned and still leaving as Louis frowned and turned his head to the churning black clouds overhead as he couldn’t believe that time was truly working against him in this way. He couldn’t have stood that long before the mirror thinking of how much he’d hated himself could he? In a quiet panic, Louis turned and gripped for the primary doors only to find them locked, a silent plea of bargaining falling from his lips as Louis strained on tiptoe to peek through the tiny windows nearly begging that someone walk by and see him stuck in the rain, but no one did.

Head bowed again with the absurd longing to simply carry his plan of running to the interstate without looking back in hopes he’d be struck and put out of his misery quickly, Louis ducked his head to the flash of lighting ripping through the clouds above as he set for home in the rain and the wind; his feet, like always, carrying him first to Harry’s clearing to _again_ find it empty and cold.

Louis was forgotten.

  
  


Wrenching upright in bed to the loud knock of the front door, Louis closed his eyes tightly to the darkness that lay heavily to the floor as he rolled to his back in aching misery, Harry’s trousers clutched painfully to his cheek as Louis weakly tossed them back beneath his bed from over the side.

“You look radiant!” Lou’s voice rang throughout the house as Louis rolled his eyes and swung to the opposite direction to face the wall, a warm hand drifting down his back as Louis’ skin rose with goose bumps to the hot, steady breath fluttering to his neck.

“What’re you going to do?” Older Harry questioned as Louis shrugged and scooted himself back to the long, muscled abdomen that immediately welcomed him in comfortably.

“Sleep.” Louis mumbled as Harry chuckled and nosed to Louis’ ear, his lips tracing to the shell gently as Louis again experienced the heat within his stomach that made him feel funny and itchy in a way all over.

“You haven’t got time to sleep, you’ve got to make a decision. You’ll either do it, or you won’t.”

“You won’t come with me.” Louis whispered slightly as his eyes cracked open to fix to the wall, Harry sighing lightly behind him as his warmth disappeared for a second only to return with a hard smack of trousers to Louis’ face.

“So you’ll pout and cuddle with a pair of trousers until you’ve gotten the courage to do what’s right for both of us, then?”

“What do you care? You wouldn’t come with me anyways, get off!” Louis snapped as Harry rolled Louis to his back and pinned him down by sitting heavily to Louis’ thighs, Louis shoving hard to Harry’s wide, matured chest as Harry frowned densely to a thought running rapidly through Louis’ mind as he recalled his previous day.

“You were left at primary?”

“I’m left at footie practice as well.” Louis replied sarcastically as Harry squinted his eyes tightly.

“Someone should’ve come and gotten you-”

“Everyone hates me.” Louis interrupted as he managed to roll from beneath Harry’s weight as he stood shakily to the side of the bed with his fingers clutched tightly within the soft fabric of the duvet. “Besides, if everyone forgets about me it won’t be as awful when I leave.”

“So you’ll not take me then?”

“I’ll have to take _you_ , you’re part of me, remember?” Louis mocked as Harry quickly dove beneath Louis’ duvet to poke his nose from underneath with his eyes focused intently to Louis ripping away the itchy bandages from his ankles and scratching in relief to the healing skin.

“I mean the little me.”

“Little you doesn’t want to come.” Louis uttered as Harry rolled his eyes and dove back beneath the duvet, Louis looking to him in the following silence as he was in the process of ripping the duvet away when his door opened quietly with a heavy knock landing to the doorjamb.

“Louis? We’re leaving now and I thought you’d want to come see us off.” Mark offered gently as Louis never looked away from the empty bed of where he’d been hoping that lithe body would still be.

“Do I _need_ to see you off? You’re just going out to the city.” Louis sighed as he tossed the duvet back up to his pillows and swiveled to Mark, Mark’s eyes fixed to the trousers sprawled to the head of Louis’ bed as he fixed Louis in an odd look before shaking his head.

“You don’t have to, just thought you’d want to come say hello to Tom and Lou.”

Louis hesitated as he looked to Mark stood uncomfortably in his tuxedo and dress shoes as Louis shrugged and slowly slipped around through the doorway, Mark following with a slight smile to Louis finally leaving his room as Louis hugged lightly to Tom’s waist as Tom greeted him quietly with a ruffling of Louis’ fringe.

“-So cute as well! Look a’it!” Lou seemed to gush as Louis looked to Jay and Lou stood before the front door as he nearly retched to Lou’s hand stretched to Jay’s stomach, Jay proudly moving her hair back from her face as she beamed to Mark who smiled tightly back.

“Hoping for another girl, but we’ll see I suppose!” Jay burst as Louis tightly crossed his arms to his middle and willed that the blood not stain the floor. “Anyways, the show is supposed to be a bit shorter than the other then I believe we’ll go out for a bite?”

“Reservations are set for 9:30.” Mark assured as Jay nodded and shrugged into her best coat, her eyes settling to Louis finally as she seemed to sigh in annoyance that he’d shown up and was currently picking Lottie’s toddling form up to his chest to hug tightly in the sense of someone loving him even if no one else did.

“I assume you’ll be on your best behavior, Louis.” Jay snipped as Mark shook his head and fixed her to a disapproving look.

“Leave him be-”

“Louis! Have you heard a word I said or are you lost in that head of yours?” Jay’s hands clapped together quickly as Lottie began stretching her arms to Tom as Tom gratefully gathered her up and swept away to the kitchen, Lou ducking her head awkwardly as Louis raised his chin to the only woman that had ever had the power to tear him down in a single swipe.

“Of course I _heard_ you.” Louis’ lips opened slightly as Jay offered nothing more before turning to the front door, her fingers reaching for the doorknob when Louis was quickly there pulling to the back of her coat as Mark managed to slip past undetected. “Mum, wait I need to tell you something-”

“Not now, Louis.” Jay instructed sharply as she gripped Louis by the wrist and nearly shoved him away to keep him from wrinkling her _best_ coat.

“Mum, I really-”

“Not now, Mark and I will be late!” Jay snapped as Louis stamped his foot.

“Mum, it’s important and for once you need to listen to me! I thought-”

“You don’t want to talk to me anymore, remember? I’m a horrid witch and I offer you nothing beneficial, so why would we speak now when _you’re_ ready?” Louis’ blood ran cold, as Jay looked him over with a soured look. “Goodbye.”

Louis couldn’t register the meaning of a full goodbye from his own mother as the door was shut to his face, Lou’s hand reaching out to touch to Louis’ shoulder gently as Louis quickly threw her off and fled for his room to rake his fingers through his hair and toss things around a bit before Louis hid back beneath his duvet in seeking comfort and cover from the world that was truly trying to rid itself of him now.

  
  


Digging frantically, Louis could bite his lip harder to resist the tears, but never hard enough to hide the fact that he was slowly losing his mind. The world didn’t want him, the village was too small and Louis was fading fast. Wadding up a bundle of jumpers and socks together, Louis stuffed them to the bag he’d packed and had in wait of a time when he’d lost his grip on reality, the jar of notes and coins clanging loudly as he slung it to the bed beside himself as older Harry perched to the foot of Louis’ bed with a puzzled expression.

“That’s not going to buy you much-”

“I know!” Louis barked as he struggled to zip the bag closed, his sigh of frustration ringing loudly through the room as he fought to also fit the jar of money somewhere, further preventing the bag from closing up.

“I’m just trying to help-”

“You’re not!” Louis cut in nervously as his eyes traced his room for anything he would truly need and miss once he was gone.

“Don’t forget me, of course.” Harry breezed as he flopped heavily to Louis’ bed, the force nearly pitching Louis’ bag to the floor as Louis fixed Harry’s slimmed face within a nasty look.

“Will you sod off? I’ve had enough and I want to know if there’s anything I’m missing!”

“Well, unless you’re going to miss that book-” Louis didn’t wait for Harry to finish as he knelt beside his bedframe and crammed his hand between the mattress and the bottom post, his fingers pricking to the stern edges of the thin book as he pulled _Where The Wild Things Are_ to his chest, closing his eyes in horrid thought of going somewhere without it. “You’re welcome.”

“Thank you.” Louis whispered as he stood and zipped his coat up to the base of his throat, Harry looking to Louis in sarcastic hue as Louis stuffed the book tightly to his chest beneath the cover of his coat from the rain.

“Why not put it in your bag?” Harry chucked loudly as he rolled to his stomach and shook his head. “Right, forgot you were packing for an extended vacation.”

“Shut up-”

“You’ll never go through with this.” Harry snipped as Louis narrowed his eyes, Harry simply raising his eyebrows in mock as he slumped to his side and held his head in a bored fashion, a slight yawn parting his lips. “I’m simply speaking _your_ mind.”

“I like it better when you don’t talk, then.” Louis snarled as he snatched his bag off the bed before Harry and slung it to his back, the weight nearly causing Louis to topple forward as Harry snorted and raised a hand before him.

“You think if I were to shove you to your face you’d be able to get back up?”

“Are you going to come along or not?” Louis demanded, as Harry seemed to perk instantly, sitting rigidly straight with his long legs spread before him.

“Are you going to go get me, then? Real me.”

“If you’ll come.” Louis again shrugged the straps painfully to his shoulders as he cocked his head. “I said I wouldn’t leave without you.”

“And what if I say no?”

“Then I’ll wait around until you say yes!” Louis sighed in frustration as he turned and yanked his bedroom door open, his ears perked in listening for Lou or Tom to come and check on him as Harry began laughing obnoxiously loud from behind him. “Knob.”

Watching in disbelief as Harry strode confidently before him to disappear around the further corner, Louis walked a bit heavier to the loud sounds of the television thumping through the house as the last dregs of twilight began to slant through the house, the toes of his runners carefully picking to the quiet spots of the hallway floor in caution. Gingerly peeking to the corner and fixing his eyes to the front door, Louis hurried to stand to the doorway of the front room as he looked in to the sight and felt his chest tighten.

Tom and Lou were sat snuggled to the couch as they pressed their lips warmly together, Tom’s long, tattooed fingers curled within Lou’s long hair as Tom yanked her legs over his own. Traveling to Lottie asleep on her back in front of the television set, Louis could feel himself grow jealous to Tom and Lou freely expressing their love and appreciation of the other as Louis knew that he and Harry would never be able to. Speaking from being young, Louis wasn’t exactly sure as to whether he and Harry would be looked down on from the perspective of the monster’s influence, or the fact that they were both _boys_.

Again traveling to Tom and Lou tangling together and clutching to hang onto the other as tightly as they could, Louis thought of Lottie and her tiny hands that caressed his face and seemed to lighten the load of the heavy burden he carried, and yet he knew she would be fine. While Louis was off living his life in peace and keeping her safe, Lottie would have a new sibling and like everyone else, one day forget him. He wasn’t sure in what way he was supposed to find comfort in this thought, but Louis did as an inner peace settled to where panic and vomit had once been.

Tom and Lou would be fine and they would continue to babysit Lottie and the new baby as they too eventually forgot of Louis’ existence as they were previously doing, Louis taking the opportunity of the blaring of the television to his advantage as he quickly slipped from the front door to the drizzle mixing its way from overhead to jump to the tiny click of the latch falling back into place. Standing to the other side of the door, Louis felt like an outsider, a robber that was looking into a life that wasn’t his own and that wasn’t right, and yet Louis couldn’t help but wonder if he should lock the door.

Squatting to claim the key from beneath the mat, Louis’ fingers traced the tiny piece of metal as he looked to the front window where the light of the television cast long shadows to the lawn as he thought of whether it would truly matter if he did. Tom and Lou would never know the difference of Louis being there or not until it was too late and Jay was regretfully calling everyone to find out where Louis had gone. Smirking to his knowing that Jay would finally take notice then, and probably be upset without the front lock being done up, Louis quickly slipped the key to hole and turned until the tumblers caught, the key slipping back to his hand as Louis thought of keeping the key just in case before shaking his head and returning it back to its rightful place.

Louis had no plans of ever looking to this house again, and somewhere within himself he was sad. He was sad that this had happened so soon, as he’d never expected to have been put out in the rain for something so trivial and miniscule as loving another, but if this is what it took to keep his love, Louis would do it because Louis would do _anything_.

Creeping down the front walk and to the street, Louis again gripped tightly to the straps of the bag cutting to his skin beneath his jumper as he never dared look back, something that had become so familiar that Louis found he wasn’t even sad to not be doing it anymore, like a bad smoking habit. Waving halfheartedly to the neighbors that were returning from work or bringing home a quick and prebaked dinner from the village, Louis wanted to smile in his success and yet found that he wasn’t sure in whether he was guaranteed his freedom, as he needed Harry to say he would come as long as Louis did.

Willing his feet move along a little faster, Louis broke to the main road as he kept close to the weeds and brambles before he was finally falling through to his worn path that he realized he would never walk again. Louis’ lips twitched to the thought of how he’d felt the first time he’d walked by and thought he’d seen someone watching him, only to know he was now in the same spot as Harry had been as Louis looked over his shoulder to the road that sat chopped and blurred to bits. It had been a while since Louis had felt that thrill and that satisfaction that came from loving Harry, and though Louis hadn’t known it at the time, Harry was always the reason for the way Louis’ heart had pattered just a bit faster in his passing by; Louis didn’t want to never feel that way again.

Approaching the clearing fast, Louis shrugged his bag higher up on his back as he adjusted the straps uncomfortably, his chin held high to the mist that clung to his eyelashes as he locked to the house that was sealed off of light or life as he vowed that today he wouldn’t be turned away. In the shade of twilight, Louis carefully picked his way up the back stairs to the kitchen door as his fist rose and knocked calmly, the sound of it all seeming to reverberate back within his skull as he clenched his teeth and strained for sound of movement to the other side.

Trying to ignore the frantic pattern his heart fell into, Louis again knocked with a bit more persistence as a loud groan caught his attention from within the house. Biting to his bottom lip, Louis quickly leapt back from the door in preparation of an excuse in justifying his just showing up to _Anne_ , and yet came up blank when _Gemma_ was the one to answer the door.

“Hello, Louis!” Gemma greeted cheerfully as she nibbled to a biscuit, Louis’ chest heaving a tiny sigh of relief as his lips pulled to a wide smile.

“Hi Gemma, is Harry home?”

“Mm, s’up in his room like he has been all day. Lazy git.” Gemma shrugged as she looked to the huge bag nearly bending Louis over. “D’you want me to go get him?”

“If it’s alright, I was just going to go up and see him?”

“Our mum’s out for a minute and our gran is asleep-”

“Please.” Louis begged gently as Gemma’s eyes settled within Louis’ abyss, her heart giving a slight tug as she realized how handsome Louis truly was, and yet how completely void and unavailable he would always be.

“Just make it quick, yeah? We’re not even supposed to answer this door.” Gemma mumbled as she stood to the side, Louis gently brushing past as he nodded quickly in thanks before dashing up the stairs, the house seeming to creak and moan around him as Louis was instantly perked to the sensation of the temperature of the house growing _colder_.

Tiptoeing down the hall and looking into Gemma’s room engulfed in that dreadful pink, Louis stood nervously to the other side of Harry’s door that stood ajar, the warmth radiating from within seeming to set Louis’ skin to fire as he breathed in the scent of Harry that he knew he’d never tire of. Knocking lighter than he had downstairs, Louis waited; tiny feet seeming to patter across the floor when suddenly Harry’s wild head of hair appeared so suddenly that Louis wasn’t ready to catch the tiny inhale of excitement that caught in his throat.

“Louis?”

“Harry.” Louis breathed as he snatched forward to grip Harry tightly by the neck, Harry seeming to be frozen in confusion for a split second before he wrapped his arms to Louis’ waist in difficulty of the large bag that rose a vivid curiosity.

“What are you doing here? What is this for?”

“I’m running away.” Louis hissed as he quickly pulled away from Harry to check over his shoulder, the hallway seeming to stretch away into an increasing darkness before Harry gripped Louis tightly by the wrist and yanked him into his room as he shut the door behind them.

“What do you mean you’re running away?” Harry protested as Louis quickly dropped the bag from his back and sighed in relief, his hands shooting up to rest to either of Harry’s cheeks as he took notice of the pallid complexion of Harry’s face and the bruises that were further pronounced on his arms exposed from the sleeves of the simple t-shirt he wore with the sleeves gently rolled.

“I’m taking us away.” Louis quickly released Harry’s cheeks as he ducked to his bag and ripped the zipper back to expose the jar that he held proudly before his nose. “This is all the money I have, but it will get us far enough.”

“Louis, I can’t.” Harry replied shakily as his fingers began playing roughly to the hem of his shirt, Harry’s eyes dancing nervously about the room as he swallowed thickly. “It’s just-”

“You don’t have to stay, and I would take care of you and keep the monster away as best as I could!”

“I don’t think it would be a smart plan!” Harry pleaded as Louis’ fingers drummed quickly to the glass of the jar as his eyes turned to Harry’s window in examining the light dwindling beyond the trees and the roofs of the houses below.

“I’m going, Harry.” Louis whispered as he ducked his head before fixing Harry to a stern look that read of authority and determination. “I’m not going to stay and suffer anymore because I’m going.”

“So you’ll be gone forever?”

“I won’t leave without you.” Louis choked as Harry’s face fell to a fit of panic, his thin arms crossing before himself as Harry slowly walked to flop to the side of his bed before his fingers ran his hair nervously.

“Louis, I can’t-”

“I can’t just leave without trying!” Louis cried as he slowly crept to stand before Harry’s legs, Louis’ face crossed in concern as Harry timidly brought their eyes to meet. “Harry-”

“I’ll only drag you down,” Louis opened his mouth to respond as Harry stood and wrapped his arms about Louis’ neck, Louis’ eyes closing sadly to Harry’s lips pressed to the shell of his ear as shivers fled up Louis’ spine. “The monster is still here.”

“I’ll take you away, then.” Louis fought as his jaw clenched painfully.

“It’ll only follow us and hurt you-”

“I don’t care about that!” Louis snapped as he shoved away from Harry harder than he really should have, Harry standing awkwardly back as Louis paced nervously before standing to a wall of drawings that drew his eye. There, hung amid Harry’s drawings of the adventures they’d shared together, those Louis hadn’t been apart of and the crown Louis had made, were the drawings _Louis_ had done, though the drawing of Harry and the dragon were soon lost to the overwhelming dread formed to Louis’ mind at the sight of his drawing of the monster hung to a similar rendition made by _Harry_. “I have to save you, and even if I have to live in the woods by the bridge or in a tree until you’re ready, I will.”

Louis turned to the silence behind him as he watched Harry weakly sit back to the edge of his bed, his lips parted in confusion as Louis shook his head and made for his bag, his mind racing a million miles an hour as to where he was supposed to sleep that night when something heavy flew past his head. Raising wide eyes to look to Harry, Louis stood away from his bag as Harry’s chest heaved with another book raised angrily.

“You can’t just say you don’t want to be with me then come back and say you do and expect me to just come away with you!” Harry sniffed angrily to the tears that tracked his cheeks as Louis felt his stomach knot uncomfortably. “That’s not what best mates do, Louis!”

“I know, and I was dense-”

“You were cruel!” Harry corrected as he pitched the book to Louis’ direction, Louis moving just in time as his head swiveled to Harry rushing him and crushing their fronts together, Harry’s cheek pressed tightly to his own as Harry’s fingers clambered to Louis’ back desperately. “But I _want_ to come with you and I don’t know why.”

“Because we’re supposed to be together.” Louis assured quietly as Harry shook his head with another sniffle.

“We only hurt each other-”

“Because we love too much.” Louis whispered as Harry stilled in his arms, Louis’ heart smacking against his ribs as Harry’s eyes slowly rolled closed to his face pressed within Louis’ hair to conceal the tiny smile that crawled across his lips. There in Harry’s arms, Louis didn’t notice the lick of cold creeping beneath the bedroom door as Harry slowly released Louis and shuffled for his dresser. “Harry?”

“Will we need another bag?”

“Another bag.” Louis deadpanned as Harry turned and smiled gently, Louis’ eyes widening in disbelief as he felt his stomach turn over. “Really? You’ll-”

“Why would I let you be the only one to have an adventure?” Harry smarted as he jumped into a pair of runners and zipped a jacket over his arms to conceal the bruisers, Louis looking doubtfully to the handfuls of clothes Harry turned around with as Harry fixed to the tiny, stuffed bag. “I’ll get one of my own-”

“We’ll just go somewhere warm where we won’t need to wear shirts.” Louis breathed as he struggled to zip up his bag, the jar of money clanging loudly to the side as Harry dug for a small knapsack which he managed to stuff his own things into, along with the book of love letters he and Louis had read what seemed so long ago.

“Or trousers!” Louis giggled as he shrugged his bag with difficulty back to his shoulders as Harry shrugged into his own pack, his lips spread wide in a taunting smile as he stood to Louis’ front with a light expression beneath the slight beads of sweat forming to his upper lip. “It’s always better to run round bare, Louis.”

“I won’t mind.” Louis promised as he reached his hand out to tangle Harry’s fingers with his own, Harry’s eyes softly turning toward the door as Louis finally noticed the cool breeze seeming to sweep through the bedroom around them.

“I’ll protect you.” Harry promised quietly as his hand slowly gripped for the doorknob and turned, Louis’ heart seeming to swallow to the back of his tongue as the hallway faced them, drab and dark.

“I’ll not let go.”

Nodding, Harry led Louis to the house that seemed to further squall and crackle around them as the lights of the hallway began to pop and burn out as the pair passed, the toes of their runners barely reaching past the door of Gemma’s room before Louis was leaping from his skin to the loud and menacing growl circulating through what seemed to be the entirety of the house. Gripping tighter to Harry’s hand, Louis ducked his head to Harry’s faster moving pace, a loud slam echoing from a closed door from the very end of the hallway as Louis’ head nearly snapped from his neck to the blood curdling scream that seemed to rip the house apart.

“Louis, come on!” Harry shouted as he tugged hard to Louis’ hand, Louis seeming to be walking with lead in his shoes as he watched the door shatter and split apart to the repulsive beast that emerged like a bullet from the dark. “Come on!”

Never letting go of Harry’s hand, Louis stumbled down the stairs to fall about in the kitchen through the light of the fading sun that was nearly gone as Harry’s hands slammed to the back kitchen door in search of the doorknob, the monster’s bellowing screeches echoing down the stairs as Louis measured the heavy thuds that came ever closer.

“Hurry.” Louis whispered as Harry sighed in frustration, Louis’ fingers clambering to Harry’s jacket in panic as a clawed paw smacked to the bottom stair. “Harry!”

“Come on! I’ve got it!” Harry coaxed roughly as his fingers wrapped to Louis’ wrist and pulled, Louis falling out into the rain and the slight darkness alongside Harry as both boys scrambled to the wet and slippery wood of the deck. Spinning and clambering to his hands only to smack his chin to the deck as Louis had once before in facing the glowing red eyes that peeked through the dark, Louis managed to slam the back door just in time for Louis’ skin to prickle sorely to the terrified shriek of Harry’s name falling from between those teeth and forked tongue. “Louis!”

“Run!” Louis instructed as he turned and snatched for Harry’s arm, Harry wincing to the pressure of the bruises to his arm as he managed to slide Louis’ grip to his hand before the boys were stumbling and falling down the wet stairs, their bums meeting the dark and dangerously slicked wood as they both breathed deeply and in a panic to the heavy bangs to the back door that wasn’t going to last much longer.

“You have to go without me, Louis! It won’t let us both leave!” Harry cried as he and Louis finally crashed to the leaves and mud as Louis stumbled and tightly gripped Harry to his side, Louis’ head shaking in defiance as he squinted through the dark trees in the direction of the road he knew was there.

“I won’t leave without you.” Louis finalized for the last time as he pulled to Harry’s hand, the clawing to the door above and behind them growing further frantic. “I’ll die first.”

Pushing his feet forward to the loud cough that seemed to flow angrily through Harry’s body, Louis and Harry began streaking through the dark, another loud scream of Harry’s name cutting through the night as Harry’s head turned in time to see the shadowed beast fall from the deck to the ground behind them. The horns to the top of the crown raised as well as the eyes, the matted and greased fur falling in darkness as the monster perched on all of its legs and began after them, Harry wishing his feet faster to Louis’ heart thrumming pace as those dirtied and lethal claws dug up earth and mud in its wake.

“Don’t stop!” Harry shouted as he turned from the sight clawing and ripping after them, Louis never daring as he pulled to Harry’s hand tighter and fought to keep his bag to his back, the coins in the jar smacking around loudly as the boys passed Louis’ tiny tree from the conservatory just in time for the monster to leap to the tiny _twig_ and snap it in half, the single leaf being shredded and trampled to the dirt as Harry and Louis fought to the cover of the trees past the swing and the castle that signaled they were close.

In the dark, everything seemed to be closer, heavier, warmer and more dangerous, Harry and Louis’ hearing falling away as they could only hear the smacking of their feet to the ground and their rushed breaths in the pull of their bodies from the danger that was quickly stalking them through the dark. Struggling for the sight of the final shards of light illuminating a hint of the road lay beyond the brambles and a mess of thistles, Louis screamed in pain to a large swipe of a paw to his calf, Harry turning in time to catch another blow to his neck as he squinted and pulled Louis from the way of the gaping mouth that snarled in effort of them ever reaching the road.

Shriveling to the tongue that swiped his hand and seemed to set his skin on fire, Louis pulled to Harry’s side as both boys clambered from the claws that hooked to the backs of their trousers and ripped the materials away in shreds.

“Leave him alone!” Harry screamed as he and Louis fled for that last hope of light, their hands clamped together tightly as Louis managed to fight from the grip that latched to his bag with a bone snapping snarl and gnashing of those many teeth to one another.

“Don’t let go!”

“Louis, it’s close!” Harry panicked as Louis shut his eyes and forced his legs move faster, a silent prayer echoing through his head as he wished that older Harry were there to save them, to protect them and make the terror fade away and yet nothing changed; and then everything _did_.

Runners crushing to the dirt and the sod of the road, Harry crashed into Louis’ back as Louis’ eyes snapped open to the road laid bare to either side of them, the vomit rising in Louis’ throat too quick to swallow away as Louis fell over on himself to lean and retch. The sour taste flooded his mouth as his eyes quickly brimmed with tears, Harry’s hands patting to Louis’ arms and stroking through his hair as Louis spat and fought to catch his breath to the fear and exhaustion still combing him through.

“Louis?”

“C’mon.” Louis croaked as Harry nodded and bent to his side, Louis groggily standing as Harry clasped their hands together and used his sleeve to wipe away a spit trail hung to Louis’ chin, Louis smiling gratefully as he cast an eye to the trees just beyond Harry’s shoulder to find the monster gone.

“Where will we go?”

“We have to find the bus, I think.” Louis’ feet began to move again as Harry easily kept pace, the racing of his own heart dulling out the scream echoing from the woods of the sullen call of the monster that was slowly losing grip, but not sight.

Hands encircled and eyes squinted to the rain, Harry and Louis were nearly to the village when the bus began rumbling down the road behind them, the driver frantically blinking his lights to Louis releasing Harry’s hand at the last second to dive before the front bumper.

“Louis!” Harry screamed as he reached to yank Louis from the way as the brakes of the bus began to squall, Louis squinting his eyes as his hands raised to touch to the cool and wet metal as the bus came to a shaky stop before him. “Are you mad? What’s wrong with you-”

“Come on, we can’t waste any time!” Louis instructed sharply as he slung his bag from his back and managed to wrestle the shaken jar from the side, the bus driver sitting behind the wheel throwing the doors open to yell and curse when he was nearly thrown back in his seat by the sight of the scratched and mangled little boys that quickly danced up the steps to stand before him, Louis’ hands shaking and jangling the change within the jar that told of the pitiful scene.

“Are you lads crazy-”

“We just need to get to London.” Louis interrupted as he began unscrewing the lid of the jar, Harry nodding quickly as he leaned around Louis to swipe the curls back from his forehead that hung limply from the rainwater.

“Please!”

“I’ve only got a few pounds, but I think it should be enough for the both of us.” Louis’ hand dipped to the jar to collect the coins and the notes to his shaking fingers as he withdrew quickly and nearly slung the money to the bus driver’s hands that shot out in confusion.

“The two of you, to London? At night by yourselves-”

“Please!” Louis cut in as his eyes read of panic to the doors that still hung open behind them, Harry’s fingers curling within his own as Louis waited to be told that he was to shove off and take his money, the bus driver instead shaking his head to the peculiar boy that had done nothing but shake up his normal schedule as of lately as he deposited the money to the tiny cash machine and jabbed his finger to the seat behind him as the doors snapped closed.

“Find a seat then, I’ll not deal with running round.”

“Thank you, thank you!” Harry breathed as Louis nodded and quickly pulled them both down the aisle of standing adults and tired patrons that were either headed for a late night job or running away themselves.

“We’ve made it.” Louis mumbled tiredly as he slung himself to the seat by the window, Harry crashing down next to him as Louis shrugged his bag off to the floor between his feet, the dregs of the night slipping past the bus window as the engine started and the wheels began pulling the pair toward the city that quietly waited to usher them in.

“Where do we go from there?” Harry wondered quietly as he slowly moved the slopped fringe back from Louis’ face with a gentle smile, Louis taking in the exhaustion reading to Harry’s lips as he smiled back as comfortingly as he could.

“We’ll have to take a train away from here until we can find a place to stay for the night I guess.” Louis shrugged as Harry frowned. “And then we’d have to think of some way to get a plane ticket away-”

“Louis, that’s impossible.” Harry interjected as Louis shook his head and buried his face to Harry’s shoulder as the lights that passed the window burned his eyes unmercifully, the cuts and scratches to his skin beginning to throb.

“I dunno, I just want to get as far away as we can.” Louis rose slightly as he and Harry came nose-to-nose, Harry’s expression serious as Louis tried his best to read the odd hidden thought written between the lines. “Does it matter how ridiculous it might be even if it works?”

“For you, I hope it does.” Harry whispered back as Louis caught a tiny trickle of blood oozing from a scrape to Harry’s jaw, Harry cuddling slightly to the touch as Louis nodded, because for everything happening and the dark, blood smattered blur that was keeping time to the bus pulling away from the slow and steady lights of the village, he hoped it worked too.

  
  


“Wake up, both of you.” A voice gruffed as a hand shook to Louis’ shoulder, Harry giving a low grumble as his hands touched to his stomach that burned in pain as Louis’ eyes wrenched open and his head flew back, the loud crack of his skull meeting to Harry’s causing even the bus driver to wince in pain as both boys shouted.

“ _Louis_!”

“I’m sorry, I forgot!”

“Ouch-”

“We’ve come to end of my line and I can’t take the two of you any further.” The bus driver explained carefully as Louis stood and looked to the empty bus around them, his eyes instantly trained out the window as he frowned.

“But, where are we?”

“London, like you asked? Have the two of you got parents you’re meeting or something-”

“My sister.” Harry cut in as Louis fixed him to an incredulous look, Harry slowly standing as his face drew pale and scrunched as he nodded and struggled to claim his rucksack to his back. “My sister is waiting to pick us up round the corner there.”

The bus driver’s face folded skeptically as he looked to Louis who simply nodded and swung his bag to his back as well with more difficulty in the weight, the bus driver seeming to roll his eyes as he waved them off.

“It’s none of my business, I just know I won’t babysit you all night.”

“Thank you for giving us a lift.” Harry spoke gently as Louis nodded as he gripped to Harry’s jacket sleeve, the bus driver nodding and waving them past as Harry led them up the aisle and slowly down the stairs to the bustling life of London that seemed to glisten and further grow around them. “Where now?”

“Be careful, yeah? Two young’ins like you have no business wandering round at night!” The bus drive called again as he snatched the doors of the bus shut and nodded as he pulled away, Louis looking to Harry with confusion marring his thoughts before his eyes were widening to what he saw just over Harry’s shoulder.

“The museum.” Louis whispered lightly as the bright lights shimmering to the wet lawns a block away seemed to beckon to him that he come and seek the night away, Harry whipping his head around in confusion, as he again seemed to jump to a pain Louis wasn’t aware of.

“What?”

“The field trip I took! The bus driver has brought me back to the museum that I came to with my primary!” Louis clutched to Harry’s hand tightly as Harry wet his lips carefully.

“What’s a museum, Louis?”

“Come on!” Louis instructed with a tug to Harry’s hand as he began down the busy sidewalk of nightlife that turned and smiled to the young boys that dared to walk amongst the creatures and evil things lurking in the shadows.

“Don’t feel very good.” Harry mumbled as his hand began to shake slightly in Louis’ to the cold and the rain that was completely soaked through his jacket, Louis managing to cross them both to the street as cars honked and squealed angrily to the tiny bodies that darted out in front of them in hopes of reaching the only light that wasn’t coated in neon and flashing dangerously.

“Just hold on, I’ll warm you up.” Louis called back to Harry through a loud honking of two cars that came to a squabble in the street behind them as Harry nodded and fought to run his tongue to his bottom lip again as he found his mouth dry and pained.

Approaching the long walkway that lead to the massive, lush lawns and the further marble keep, Louis tugged a bit harder to Harry’s hand in excitement as he lost track of what it was to runaway, rather to show a good mate what it meant to go to a museum for the first time. Never paying attention to the signs stuck to the wide, intricate front doors that Louis remembered so well in the last time he was there, Louis and Harry easily pulled through to the warmth within as Harry turned a pale face toward the high ceiling and the tiny windows that showed the glow of the city lights cutting through the night sky and accentuated the tiny splatters of rain still drumming away outside.

“I think it was this way!” Louis gushed as he gave a hard yank to Harry’s arm, Harry’s face cringing as he began to wobble unsteadily to his feet to the woozy collection forming within his head.

“Louis-”

“Harry it was incredible! I wanted to bring you last time to see this part, but I’d forgotten about it until just now!” Louis blathered as Harry nodded and tried to smile, Louis seeming to wind them further to the depths of the old, darkening building as Harry noticed that there were only a few other sparse people milling about. “Look, I think it’s just there!”

“Where are we going?” Harry attempted again as Louis began to bounce to his heels and accidently made the mistake of _dropping_ Harry’s hand, Harry seeming to cling heavily to the wall with his lips parted and his eyes crossing slightly as Louis’ hands flattened to the dark tanks that surrounded them entirely to the schools of fish seeming to float about in their final hours of awareness.

“They’re called the aquariums, and it’s amazing! Last I was here there was a shark and a jellyfish and all sorts of things swimming round!” Louis pressed his nose to the glass as he allowed his bag slip from his shoulders and crash to the floor as he was sucked back to how it felt to realize what it had meant in that day to _be_ a fish. “Are you looking?”

“Yeah.” Harry replied in a forced manner as he slunk to Louis’ side cautiously, his fingers gripping to Louis’ sleeve as Louis absently wrapped an arm to Harry’s side and unknowingly kept him from falling to his face.

Standing quietly immersed in the other, Louis watched as the fish around them seemed to flutter and thrive to the cool, dark waters that absorbed Harry and Louis into their world, Louis wondering exactly what it would be to stretch his fingers out to feel the cool gloss running his fingertips when a flash of _red_ caught his eye. Squinting and clutching his arm tighter to Harry who seemed to be frozen solid to Louis’ side, Louis raised his hand to the glass before them as he ran his fingertips to where he assumed the red was peeking from the dark of the tank beyond them, his heart seeming to cram up to his throat as he realized a finger over the spot blocked out the refracted iris _completely_.

“Harry-” Louis whispered as he moved his finger, Harry’s wide eyes reflected back to his through the glass as Louis didn’t have to turn his head to look to Harry directly to know that the monster was dwelling to Harry’s eyes. “What’s happening to you?”

“I-” Harry cut short as his body seized before he was tumbling to the ground, Louis caught off guard as he pitched next to Harry’s side as Louis’ eyes brimmed with tears to the image he knew he would never be able to wipe from his mind.

Harry was pulling his hands close to his face as if to ease a sort of pain Louis couldn’t find as his back rose from the floor and his body quivered, Harry’s runners squeaking loudly to the floor to the sudden and jerky movements as Louis’ cheeks grew wet to the panicked sobs that fell from his chest to Harry’s teeth clenched down so forcibly on his bottom lip that blood ran to his chin.

“Harry!” Louis shouted as his hands cupped to Harry’s cheeks, Harry seeming to give a wheezing grunt as his body shuddered and began to vibrate more violently, one of Harry’s fists managing to wrap to Louis’ wrist as he squeezed with all the life he had in him. “Harry! What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

Louis curled over top of Harry’s body as Harry seemed to grunt and breathe hard through his nose as his eyes crossed and large tears escaped fleetingly and rolled to gather to his earlobes, Louis’ fingers tangling to the curls at the back of Harry’s head as Louis looked around for someone, _anyone_ , not caring now if they were caught or not.

“Someone, help!” Harry’s fingers seemed to grip tighter to Louis’ wrist as his body gave a final, hard tremor before Harry’s teeth released his lip, a tiny cry falling from his chest as Louis gathered Harry’s face gently to his neck to swipe his sleeve to Harry’s chin vainly to wipe away the blood. “Harry?”

“Louis, I’m scared.” Harry whispered pitifully as Louis nodded and smiled through tight lips and the tears.

“I’m going to save you, alright?” Louis whispered as Harry nodded and tried to speak, his words coming out a bit gurgled as Louis fought to stand Harry to his feet and keep a grip tightly about his waist. “The monster won’t get you, and all we have to do is get it out.”

“Louis-”

“Excuse me, boys? We’re closing and I don’t think anyone is supposed to be down here!” A voice called that Louis remembered, his head craning over his shoulder to find the familiar museum guide clicking toward them in her annoying heeled shoes as she waved slightly with exhaustion written plainly over her face. “And children aren’t meant to be unsupervised, where are your parents?”

“We’re leaving.” Louis rushed as he leaned Harry back to the glass of the aquarium before struggling to bring both bags to his back, the museum guide’s eyebrows rising about her forehead as she looked to them in suspicion as her eyes read to Harry’s defeated form and paled expression.

“You _are_ here with adults, right?”

“We have to go-”

“Sweetheart, is your friend alright? Where are your parents?” The museum guide instructed as she reached a hand toward Harry whose eyes seemed to cross again to the slight lick of a claw up his spine from the _inside_ out, Louis quickly batting her hand away as he gathered Harry to his side and pointed them back toward the way they’d come.

“Just leave us alone!”

“Excuse me, you can’t just leave with him like that!” The museum guide instructed as Harry pushed to Louis’ side in warning, his feet moving a bit faster as Louis nodded and began trotting, Harry mustering up all the courage and strength he could as he locked his fingers to Louis’ and began to _run_. “Stop!”

“Harry-”

“We can’t be caught.” Harry breathed with difficulty as he and Louis managed to twist their way from the museum guide who was struggling to run in her shoes, her own heart thumping to her chest in the realization that she’d made a very terrible mistake. “We can’t fall from the plan, I’m fine.”

Louis shook his head in doubt as Harry managed to pull forward and somewhat drag him along, their shoes squalling to the marbled floors of the tight turns and long corridors as the pair became disoriented if only for a second before Louis realized where they were.

“Straight ahead and the doors will be up the steps-”

“Stop! You can’t leave!” The museum guide shouted as her now bare feet smacked to the hard floor, a couple checking out an old exhibit on their way out turning in curiosity before the man’s face twisted to a peculiar expression and the woman’s hand fell from the bump of her pregnant stomach.

“Louis?” Mrs. Austin called as Louis spared her only a tiny look, his _father’s_ eyes meeting to his own in what seemed such a long time as Harry gave a tiny grunt of frustration as he yanked to Louis’ hand in the stutter to Louis’ step. Though the moment was fleeting, Louis watched as time seemed to linger to his father’s hand falling from Mrs. Austin’s stomach with the smile frozen to his face, a yearning lighting up Louis’ spine as he desperately remembered how it was when _he_ was the one stood between his parents as he was the reason for their smile, and yet now stood to be the reason of darkness bringing them both pain and weariness. “Louis! Harry!”

“Come on, Louis!” Harry snapped in frustration as Louis’ feet propelled him forward to Mrs. Austin’s quick waddle after them in time with the museum guide, Louis’ father instantly seeming to come back to life as he patted Mrs. Austin’s shoulder before hurrying after the boys that were quickly losing him.

It was selfish, and Louis knew he should’ve stopped just to spare Harry from the sickened look that swept his face wet with sweat and his hair limp and lifeless, but Louis didn’t _want_ to be caught. It stood reason that only he should have such shit luck that his father and his stepmother would be in the only place he’d wanted to escape to, because in that moment Louis knew anywhere close would never be an escape. Behind them, Louis’ father, Mrs. Austin and the museum guide all sought to stop them from the surely stupid things two little boys would do in a city like London, but they had no idea the only thing they craved was freedom, and it was so close that they would run themselves ragged just to get it.

“Where do we go?” Harry panicked as they managed out the front doors to streak across the lawns for the sidewalks that teemed with life only a few feet away, Louis’ father heard shouting after them as he followed as quickly as he could with Mrs. Austin on her mobile just behind him, shouting frantically to Jay on the other end to what she knew couldn’t possibly be something good.

“The trains!” Louis realized suddenly as the far off whistle caught his attention; Harry seeming to nod rather than tire himself further with words as Louis pulled ahead and camouflaged them to the dwindling people that smiled to the _cute_ scene of the two little boys streaking through the heavy masses of bodies.

“Louis!” Harry begged weakly as Louis nearly toppled a slow moving crowd of women as they all filed toward the train station that sat as a beaconed light of fortitude through the darkness as Louis could hear his name being screamed from behind them. “Louis, I don’t think I can make it!”

“You have to make it!” Louis coaxed as he gripped tighter to Harry’s hand and brought it to his chest with his own as he began to shove people from his way in his haste of bringing them both through the lines for the train in avoiding the ticket counters amid a tall group of businessmen chuckling in suits.

Craning his head back to the signs that scrolled obnoxiously through the fluorescent lighting that seemed to blaze the entire platform, Louis looked hopefully to the train sat stalling with smoke rimming from beneath the tracks and the underbelly of the machine as Harry’s grip to his hand began to loosen dramatically. Turning to smile hopefully to Harry’s direction in the plan that they would simply jump aboard amongst another group rushing for passage, Louis’ face fell to despair as Harry’s eyes began to cross, his bottom lip quivering as his eyebrows knitted forcibly to his forehead.

“Harry?” Louis questioned gently as it happened again, Louis’ arms catching Harry this time as they both went down to Harry’s body pitching violently, Louis screaming in desperation as many passing by simply looked without thinking twice to stop. “Harry! Stay with me, what’s wrong! What can I do?”

“It- hurts, Louis!” Harry choked out as his fingers clawed to Louis’ sleeves, Louis’ stomach crinkling sickly as he thought of simply sitting back with Harry to his chest to wail and weep for help before Louis realized this was his place. To be strong for Harry, Louis couldn’t wait for someone else to come along and save them, because it had been his idea, and he was the one that was going to have to sweep the clouds away in hopes of again finding the sun!

“I know.” Louis soothed gently as he gathered Harry’s pitching body to his chest as Louis’ father and Mrs. Austin broke to the ticket counters with their hands pointed frantically toward the pair that were slumped amongst a flowing crowd of _sharks_. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

“Stay with me.” Harry begged weakly through gritted teeth as his body vaulted up to an intense stab of pain running him through, Louis nodding through the tears as he couldn’t believe how close they’d come to truly being away.

“We can make it to the train.” Louis promised weakly as Harry squeezed his eyes shut to the tears gathering at the corners of his mouth and tasting to his tongue bitterly. “I could take you to Manchester and we could go North.”

Harry seemed to watch Louis through an intense black that filtered his vision a small tunnel, a mixture of hunter green and a crimson red melting and swirling to his eyes as Louis watched in acute despair to everything twisting down the drain. Smoothing the sweaty curls back from Harry’s forehead, Louis didn’t bother to choke back the tiny sobs ripping from his chest and further stemming from the tearing apart of the hole in his middle as Louis came to realization that this was a hole that couldn’t be fixed anymore.

Pressing his lips tightly to Harry’s forehead in reassurance, Louis tossed the bags from his back as he carefully gathered his hands beneath Harry’s shoulders and bum in finally struggling to his feet.

“Louis, you’ll hurt- don’t!” Harry managed as Louis shook his head and turned his eyes to the train that was slowly leaving, all hope flooding from the soles of Louis’ shoes as Mrs. Austin and his father quickly broke through the ticket counters in a hurry toward them, Jay and Mark not far behind as they’d been only a couple streets away when the call had come in.

“I won’t leave you.” Louis promised again softly as he kept his chin high and his back strong, the tears gathering to his chin landing quietly to the chest of Harry’s shirt as Louis no longer worried of the books or clothes they’d left behind.

Louis knew he only needed Harry to be happy, and if it meant living off of the streets with nothing at all, he would do it because Louis loved Harry and would do anything Harry asked or needed. Louis would carry Harry to the ends of the Earth if it meant wiping away the inner darkness that Louis had never truly been able to see, simply because he’d never been strong enough to understand what it meant until that moment, because _Louis_ _was_ _weak_. Squeezing his arms tighter to grip Harry to his chest, Louis clung as best as he could as Harry’s body seized and began to shiver and quake, a tiny gasp and shout of pain falling from those beautiful lips as Jay’s voice could be heard hazily shouting that Louis stop as those moving about them still never cared to watch the invisible boys pass.

Fighting to the rigid stance of Harry’s body and the clawing of his fingers to Louis’ sleeves, Louis only passed a quick look to Harry’s face and neck as his eyes lay open and glassy to the red turning only to that vibrant green that had haunted Louis entirely since the first day he could remember Harry smirking to him in the clearing, pressing to him tightly in their little castle of dreams and imagination and twirling through the leaves with a sword raised above his head, Louis’ throat seizing to the sight of the scratches and cuts to Harry’s skin slowly _fading_ away.

Louis’ eyes paled in recognition, because it was then Louis knew the monster.

  
  


⊱⊰


	25. B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment and offer you more joy than any material possession ever could.”

  
  


[Nothing Has To Happen](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJHkudGBWj0)

 

 

It was so quiet, and for the first time it wasn’t ominous. There was no wind; there was no thunder or soft patter of rain to the grass slicked around them, because in that moment there was peace. Sprawled to their backs to the top of the hill that overlooked the trees in the tiny dip of the valley below, Louis’ eyes slowly closed to the warmth of Harry’s fingers clasping to his own as he never dared turn his head to find the other watching him gently. Neither boy had to say anything as they quietly breathed in the fresh air of the coming day, because nothing was so liberating as to lie amidst the dark clouds that blocked the sun and the harsh realities of life that had finally pierced through the veil of the castle built of imagination they’d hidden within.

Running his thumb to the short length of Harry’s hand, Louis reveled in the press of the body next to him fighting to curve in just the right way so that they would never have to part or think of what separation would mean again.

“Louis.” Harry whispered suddenly as Louis’ eyes opened gently to the clouds overhead slowly parting to the allow the sun kiss to his cheeks, Louis’ hair warming to the loving embrace of heat as he turned his face toward Harry’s. Slowly skimming those beautiful, full lips and Harry’s eyes that seemed to glitter within the dwelling sunlight that carefully grew further pronounced to their height above the world, Louis pushed his lips to press to Harry’s forehead tenderly as Harry’s heart fluttered within his chest.

“You’re so beautiful.” Louis issued calmly as Harry’s lips quirked and a gentle color rose to his cheeks, a light laughter falling from his chest as Harry rolled to his side to look to Louis through the brightness with which he’d never been able to properly see, because everything _was_ beautiful. The grass was greener, their skin tanned with color and free of sallow afflictions, Louis’ hair reigning a brighter caramel that further pronounced his eyes as Harry felt his breath being stolen away again as the first day he’d watched Louis pass him by.

“’M not.”

“I think you are.” Louis chirped as he settled back and closed his eyes again to the clouds sliding apart to again shine the sun to his face, Harry chewing lightly to his bottom lip as he snorted lowly.

“You’re mad, Louis.” Harry shrugged to Louis’ confused expression as he swung himself around to rest his head to the tiny roll about Louis’ middle that he giggled to as he gently poked. “After everything you’ve done for me, you still think I’m beautiful.”

“You _are_ beautiful.” Louis emphasized as he touched to Harry’s cheek lightly, his eyes cast downward in effort of not moving his head as Harry’s lips fought to crawl into the smile he was trying too hard to keep away. “Nothing happened that would convince me otherwise.”

“You’re the only person that would’ve done what you did for me.” Louis’ eyes slowly fell back to the patch of blue sky over his head as he swallowed and thought his words through carefully.

“Why didn’t you tell me? About the monster and everything?”

“Because I wanted to be normal for once.” Harry breathed so lightly Louis’ breathing evened out quietly to nothing more than a tiny pass of breath from his nostrils that barely fell away to the air that grew warm around them in their tiny path of sunlight. “You made me feel alive and better, and I just didn’t want to worry you. You’re already sad and such a nervous wreck on your own-”

“You didn’t have the right to _not_ tell me.” Louis cut in stubbornly as the back of his throat burned and constricted to what he knew was going to result in a well of tears that would only bring the clouds back to bathe them in darkness and wipe away the only sight of _Heaven_.

“I just wanted to make you happy.” Harry whispered sadly as he sat to Louis’ side to twist his fingers nervously within his lap, Louis watching him carefully as Harry gathered a breath to his chest to hold in keeping away the rolling pain climbing his spine and settling to the base of his skull.

“You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been.” Louis assured quickly as he sat to gather Harry to his chest, their cheeks pressing warmly together as Louis’ fingers tangled to the tiny curls at the back of Harry’s head. “I’ve never known happiness until you found me.”

“Just promise to keep me here.” Harry ground lowly as he moved his nose to Louis’ neck, his eyes fluttering closed to the familiar smell that drew his brain hazy as he longed forever to wrap his arms to Louis’ middle and cling to the jumper that would remind him of everything in Louis’ being.

“I said I wouldn’t leave you and I meant it.” Louis asserted quickly as he pulled back to raise Harry’s head gently with his fingers, Harry’s eyes slowly raising to meet Louis’ gaze calmly as a small smile brought about the dimples that instantly melted Louis’ stomach to a tangled mess and made his heart thrive in beating just a little bit faster.

“You promise?”

“Of course.” Louis snorted as Harry nudged him softly with his elbow, his expression leveled and serious. “I _promise_.”

Harry nodded, pleased with this sort of closure as he lay back to Louis’ side and curled toward Louis’ direction, Louis slowly rolling with the grass that seemed to cool to the cover of the sun again overhead as he gently raised a finger to wipe away the single tear that slithered Harry’s cheek.

“Harry-”

“I’m so scared, Louis.” Harry trembled as Louis’ heart slowly began to split at the seams; his head shaking gently as he heavily brought his fingers through Harry’s curls in comfort.

“I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“But you can’t save me from this.” Harry shook his head as another tear touched to Louis’ fingertip that lingered to Harry’s skin in solace. “The monster won.”

“It didn’t.” Louis choked as he frowned and pressed himself entirely to Harry’s front, Harry’s eyes squeezing tighter together as Louis traced the contours and soft features of childlike softness quietly. “It hasn’t won because you’re still here and I’m still here. We didn’t make it to the warm place or anywhere near being away from the village, but we never left the other and that’s all that matters.”

“I’m going to hurt you again.” Harry spoke suddenly as his eyes slid open and Louis flinched to the flinty look marring the usual sadness that had made home, his shoulders shrugging with a slight crinkle of his nose as Louis sighed gently.

“You’ve never hurt me and I don’t think you will.”

“I wouldn’t try to.” Harry mumbled as Louis pressed their foreheads together with a forced smile.

“You could try, but it wouldn’t work in trying to keep me away.”

“Does that make you dense or foolish?” Harry questioned cryptically as Louis shook his head and rolled his eyes, Harry’s mouth lifting to his own brilliance in making Louis crazy once again.

“A little of both I suppose.”

Harry nodded in satisfaction of the answer as he ducked his head beneath Louis’ chin to cuddle to the warmth that radiated from Louis’ body, Louis’ hands folding together tightly behind Harry’s back as his eyes slowly watched the trees and the village below fold away and crumble to pieces as the white, _sterile_ gleam returned to his vision that he so vividly remembered. The white walls, the white tiled floors and even the white chair that was sat next to the window hung heavily in darkness from the boiling clouds beyond the rain streaked glass partially hidden to the give of those awful, white drapes.

The smell was worse than the sight, and Louis was sure that was what brought about the sickly feeling in his stomach first. The hospital smelled of fear and dread and despair of the sick and the dying that had lost the sight of the light that had once littered their lives in the hopes of one day laying in the kiss of the sun wrapped to the arms of the one they loved. Blinking, Louis’ vision was overrun by the similar clock perched to the opposite wall as the small, mounted television blurred and crackled lowly with the static of a bad connection that seemed to intermingle and lend to the beeps of the machines sat next to the bed.

“You’re my best friend, Louis.” Harry whispered softly as Louis frowned and tried his best to hold Harry’s body that shivered painfully to his own, his lips fighting to themselves in not trembling and releasing the bitter pain that gripped his mind in a fashion with which Louis could see no end of.

“Just hold onto me.” Louis comforted softly as Harry nodded his head gently in reassurance that the paled blue nature of his lips would fade away with Louis’ skin crawling with goose bumps beneath the soft fluttering touch.

“Louis?”

“Hmm?”

“Where were you going to take me?” Louis smirked as Harry’s tiny fingers pressed to the roll of his stomach, his heart not being able to even be mad as he let his eyes wander to the lights shining harshly above.

“I wanted to take you somewhere nice to see the sun, maybe Spain?”

“And then where?” Harry frowned as he raised his head slightly to look to Louis’ glassy expression.

“Then we’d go where ever you wanted. America, Africa-”

“Manchester would’ve been fun.” Harry cut in as Louis turned his head to fix Harry to a peculiar look.

“Manchester isn’t far away?”

“Doesn’t matter about the distance, and Manchester was the only place we would’ve made it to.” Harry offered sensibly as Louis rolled his eyes with a slight chuckle.

“Of all the things you’ve come up with, you’re sensible about where we would’ve run away to.”

“I wanted it to be true.” Harry spoke sternly as Louis frowned and measured the expression sat to Harry’s face that was so much older and pained than it should’ve been. “I wanted more than anything for us to go away.”

“I never would’ve taken you away if I had known-”

“Stop.” Harry demanded as he fought to sit, Louis resting a hand to his chest as he eased Harry to lie back without straining himself further, Harry’s face screwing up angrily as a tear slid from the corner of his eye. “It’s not fair.”

“Harry, we can go away when you’re better-”

“Why did this happen to me, Louis?” Harry’s face turned to Louis quickly as Louis fell to a loss of words. “What did I do that was so wrong that I’m so sick? Why wasn’t I given enough time to grow up and be happy?”

“You are happy.” Louis muttered gently as Harry swallowed thickly and nodded, his eyes wandering to the wall behind Louis as he sighed.

“But I have this feeling like I’m going to hurt you again, and there won’t be a thing I can do about it.” Harry’s fingers tangled atop his stomach as Louis closed his eyes gently and wished that the hill would return and ease the pain of the impending closing of the world coming to take them both away.

“Tell me what to do.” Louis whispered as Harry’s fingers slowly traced his jaw line before steadily laying to Louis’ cheekbone, his eyes tracing the contours of Louis’ eyes, nose and lips before Harry realized Louis wouldn’t open his eyes for fear of the sight of life coming crashing down to their heads.

“Be happy.” Louis’ eyes slid open as he turned to Harry’s front slowly, Jay entering the room quietly in her scrubs as she stared to the little boys huddled together in a way that nearly knocked her back in her haste of trying to assist Harry in making him as comfortable as Louis would allow her help.

“Harry? I’m just going to check your fluids.” Jay announced shortly as she watched Louis make no move to turn and look at her, Harry’s tired eyes meeting to her own as he nodded with a subtle smile.

“If you have to.”

“Afraid so, but I’ll make it quick.” Jay smiled to Harry’s second quick nod as he laid his head back to the stiff pillow as he touched noses gently with Louis, Jay’s shoes squeaking across the floor as Louis watched her fingers gently press to the buttons of the machine and flick to the bag hanging from the ends of Harry’s IVs that matched perfectly to the bruises of his arms Louis had always been curious of. “You still feeling alright?”

“’M fine.” Harry assured tenderly as he smiled to Jay’s fingers touching to his hair lightly, their small and yet significant bond obvious to Louis in that moment, as he’d never known the relationship of his mother and her youngest _patient_.

“If you need anything, I’ll be just outside speaking with your mum.” Jay comforted as Louis raised his head with a fierce look of warning that she get the hell out, Jay bowing her head immediately as she knew Louis would never forgive her for the secret she’d kept.

Smiling to Anne who was sat to a tiny row of plastic chairs on the opposite side of the hallway just down from Harry’s slightly cracked door, Jay gently lowered herself to the chair beside Anne as Anne sniffled to the Kleenex held beneath her nose, her eyes puffed and raw with the emotion stemmed from the time she’d arrived to see Louis clinging to a nearly lifeless Harry in the back of the ambulance.

“Is he alright?” Anne croaked as Jay nodded and sighed, her fingers running slowly through her hair as she leaned her head to the wall behind her.

“I know you’d like to sit with him, but I’m not sure how to get Louis out-”

“Don’t bother them.” Anne instructed swiftly as she blew her nose and smiled, her thoughts racing to the many nights Harry had run around the house with a blush on his face as he’d told anyone who would listen of the tiny boy that had captured his heart. “They need this time to be together, and I understand. I’ve had my six years time with him.”

“I’m worried about Louis.” Jay confided with a hint of terror marring her calm collection as Anne looked to her bedraggled face and frizzed hair. “He was so sad and withdrawn before all of this came about, and it seemed he got better and then he got worse again, and after this-”

“Be grateful your son is only a bit sad, Jay.” Anne comforted as her hand patted to Jay’s thigh, Jay quickly shaking her head as her hands rose to cover her face to the shaky sob that seemed to escape her chest quickly.

“I’ve tried my best to do what’s right for him, and here’s the one thing that brings a smile to his face and I _know_ -”

“It’s hard to love, especially when you’re their age and you meet the one you’re destined to be with for the rest of your life.” Anne’s eyes seemed to trail far away as she thought aloud to herself. “I was so jealous of the adventures they’d have and the little conversations and giggles and looks, because I knew in looking to their faces that they’d found their forever within each other.”

“Can you believe Louis was convinced that you were this monster they created?” Jay questioned cryptically as Anne’s teeth gathered her bottom lip as her eyebrows furrowed heavily.

“He’s just a little boy-”

“He was going to _run away_ with Harry because of it.” Jay shook her head as Anne ran her hands wearily over her face and nodded, a single tear slipping down her cheek as she sniffled hard and shrugged.

“If running away with Louis would mean everythingdisappear, then I would’ve let them go.”

“Even after everything?” Anne nodded slowly as she looked to Jay and smiled.

“I remember who you were the first day you called me, and I knew Harry was in a safe place because he knew you and you knew him as well. If it took his mind from things and it made it a bit easier to cope,” Anne trailed off gently as her fingers began moving nervously to one another. “And the day we came to hospital to find out that it was a terminal disease was the day Harry managed to slip away to that bookshop where he saw you and Louis and your little girl, and I’ve never seen his face so lit up over a little boy he’d not even properly met before.”

“And I didn’t believe Louis.” Jay uttered as she sucked her lips back to her teeth and chewed to her inner cheek for a moment. “I made him seem completely crazy, and he wasn’t.”

“It was just Harry’s imagination, I suppose.” Anne sighed as she again closed her eyes to the tiny tears that managed to slip away and expose her inner breaking. “With the advanced cognitive development, I’d figured he and Louis were sharing in those little adventures but I had no idea it was so serious. And then the seizures started-”

Anne cut short as she and Jay looked to a loud, coughing sob echoing from another room down the hall where a young boy with _floppy_ ears and wild, brown hair leaned up in his bed to the tight constriction and deterioration of his lungs filling with fluid and slowly _drowning_ him from the inside out.

“I’m glad they found each other.” Jay confessed silently as Anne smiled gently and nodded, her fingers taking measure to wipe away the tears that hung from her chin as her eyes painfully fell shut again.

“I think Louis is what has kept him alive for so long, but he’s just so _little_ -” Anne seemed to choke to her words as a loud sob fell from her lips, Jay’s arms instantly wrapping her to her chest as she allowed a few tears of her own fall to Anne’s hair lightly.

“I’m so sorry, Anne I tried. I tried so hard for both you and Louis-”

“Just tell me he won’t feel pain.” Anne cut in firmly as Jay nodded slowly to her hair as both women perked to a tiny laugh falling from Harry’s room suddenly.

“-That would never work!”

“You wouldn’t know if you never tried!” Harry giggled madly as he flopped his head back to Louis’ on the thin pillow, Louis’ hands rising to cover his face quickly as he shook his head.

“S’impossible!”

“No, I bet if you tried really, really hard you could make an entire shop of sweets appear!” Harry encouraged as Louis dropped his hands to stare to Harry in disbelief.

“I’ve always been rubbish at this-”

“I would if I could, but it doesn’t-” Harry’s voice dropped away as his eyes lowered and his bottom lip jutted out, Louis’ forehead instantly creasing as he sighed and pushed a hand gently to Harry’s chest.

“Alright, alright! I dunno how good it will be though.”

“Just one big one!” Harry crowed as Louis tightly closed his eyes and thought of where he’d most felt whole when with Harry, his cheeks straining to color lightly as his stomach began to somersault.

“You’re doing it-”

“Be quiet!” Louis instructed as Harry snorted and lay still, Louis’ brain seeming to release one giant heave as the room settled about them weirdly, Louis’ eye cracking open slightly to marvel in confusion to himself and Harry laying on his bedroom _floor_. “What?”

“That’s where those trousers went to!” Harry called suddenly as Louis turned his head in Harry’s direction to find Harry’s bum sticking from beneath the bed, his tiny form slowly recoiling with the trousers held in hand as he smirked to Louis dangerously. “Were you keeping them on purpose?”

“No!” Louis answered all too quickly as Harry smiled and tossed the trousers back to their place, Louis ducking his head from Harry’s knowing glance as he reveled in the familiar warmth of the sheets and blankets tossed up around them in a fort as he took notice to the tiny, sticky glow-in-the-dark stars that dotted the ceiling quietly above.

“Why here?” Harry questioned after a few moments silence, Louis giving a slight shrug before he absently tangled his fingers within Harry’s wild head of curls laid lovingly back to his stomach.

“Maybe because this is when I knew.” Louis smiled to his own thoughts and the butterflies climbing through his stomach as Harry sat up slowly and fixed Louis to an odd look, his mouth freezing in question as Louis’ shirt began to raise and move quickly before a swarm of butterflies were fluttering about the tiny fort.

“Louis!” Harry breathed in wonder, as Louis couldn’t be bothered to think of how weird it was, but only smile. Lifting the bottom of his shirt slowly, Louis exposed his tiny bellybutton to Harry as Harry wiggled his fingers among the tiny flapping wings of the butterflies that kissed and winked to his cheeks as Louis was only fixed to the healing scars of the hole that was plastered to his middle, since healed and _gone_. “You’re doing it, but what does it mean?”

“It’s how you’ve made me feel, I suppose.” Louis breathed quietly as Harry’s cheeks caved with those sweet dimples, his wide eyes fixing to the single, biggest butterfly that perched lightly to the end of his index finger as Louis smiled privately. “This night is when I knew I wanted to grow up with you and that I’d never find a better person to be with.”

“This was when you kissed me.” Harry blushed as his eyes moved to Louis’ quickly as Louis smiled wider.

“I’d always thought of it, and I’m glad I did.”

“In my defense, I did it first.” Harry pouted as Louis turned doubtful eyes to him slowly.

“I don’t remember-”

“Yes you do!” Harry crowed as the butterfly quickly fluttered from his finger and seemed to dissipate to the folds and ruffles of the sheets overhead as Harry tromped to top of Louis heavily. “I did it first and you were so surprised you just sat like a knob with your mouth open!”

“I didn’t!” Louis giggled as he locked his arms tightly to Harry’s middle and managed to flip Harry over to his back, his eyes widening to the hard thwack he was afraid would knock the breath from Harry’s body before he was marveling to the shifting of low light and the squishy _leaves_ beneath.

“I thought you said you were awful at this.” Harry teased as his fingers pushed into Louis’ shoulders, Louis laying to top of Harry in confusion as he finally gathered his bearings to the castle slanted with the low lights of twilight filtering in through the twigs and wilting thistles calmly.

“I dunno how I’m doing it.” Louis confessed as Harry snorted and buried his head to Louis’ neck, a slight shiver falling down Louis’ back at the chill that seemed to filter about them in a sudden haze as Louis clasped to Harry tightly. “Who am I supposed to play with? I’ll be alone again.”

“I’ll always, _always_ be with you.” Harry promised firmly as Louis shook his head and closed his eyes to the soft curls that tickled his nose, Harry’s fingers smoothing across Louis’ shoulders in a tender pattern as Louis squeezed his eyelids shut tighter to keep at bay the tears that threatened to fall in the absence he could feel growing closer and closer between them.

“It won’t be the same, I _need_ you.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry whispered pitifully as his own bleary eyes traced to the fragmented pattern of light slowly dipping from the outside of the boys’ woven design as his eyes locked to a tiny piece of paper fluttering in the wind. “I’m so sorry, Louis.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s not your fault!” Louis spat angrily as he rolled himself from top of Harry to curl his knees beneath his chin and bury his forehead to his thighs and folded arms, Harry giving Louis a quick second of freedom before he scooted tightly to Louis’ back with his arms wrapped warmly to Louis’ middle, his fingers touching to the puckered scars of the middle _he’d_ healed without knowledge that he’d done so.

“I’m sorry for the things I’ve put you through, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Harry mumbled to the back of Louis’ shirt as his nose skimmed to Louis’ skin that he could smell so delicately through the thin material. “I should’ve known better, but I saw you and I couldn’t help myself because you looked just like _me_. You were walking alone and you’re so beautiful, but your eyes were so sad and I had to.”

“Harry-”

“I should’ve left you alone, but I couldn’t Louis.” Harry frowned forcibly as his fingers dug to Louis’ stomach, Louis leaning gratefully back into the touch as he turned his head slightly to connect Harry’s forehead to his cheek. “You don’t deserve to ever be sad.”

“You made me the happiest I’ve ever been, and I’ll never be upset for it.” Louis repeated as his head squeezed painfully, because he could feel time closing in.

“D’you mean it?” Harry mumbled through a mouthful of Louis’ shirt as Louis nodded and closed his eyes, his cheek pressing tighter to Harry’s forehead as the overwhelming ache began to filter through his chest and strangle his heart, as Louis knew what was inevitably going to happen.

“Of course, Harry.”

“Will you smile again?”

“Eventually.” Louis promised quietly as Harry’s lips parted to reassure Louis that he had every right, when a faint crackling from the leaves beyond snapped Louis and Harry’s attention away from the other to peek through the twigs that seemed to be rotting and crumbling away as the thistles grayed and shriveled up. “Who-”

“Stay here.” Harry instructed suddenly as Louis’ throat seized to the shaking of Harry’s knees to either side of him, Louis’ fingers clutching frantically to keep Harry from squatting and shuffling to the opening of the castle, as his eyes grew wet.

“What are you doing?”

“I think I have to.” Harry offered bleakly as Louis’ eyes swiveled to the pair of long boots stopped just beyond the leaves outside the crawl space, his mind seeming to crack to realization as Louis’ fingers flew wildly through the air to snatch for the back of Harry’s shirt, only to miss _just_ in time.

“Harry!” Louis screamed as he began clambering to his hands and knees, his face and shoulders breaking to the cool wind beyond the trees as he caught sight of Harry walking hand-in-hand with a tall, lanky figure whose free hand dropped from ruffling the wild curls piled to top of his head lazily. “Harry!”

“You have to stay, Louis.” A low voice instructed as Louis’ feet began slamming to the suddenly cold and frozen ground, his teeth clenched painfully together as older Harry gripped little Harry’s hand tighter within his own to lead him down the hill that would take them to the trees lining the village in lay below.

“You can’t take him!” Louis commanded as his feet tried to move faster, the sinking and dwelling within his chest growing ever more unbearable as it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, both Harry’s were distancing quicker than he was able to keep in time with until everything seemed to grow still and _quiet_.

Louis knew _this_ time he wasn’t meant to follow, but he couldn’t keep himself away as he vainly trudged through the hazy nothing. Raising his hands from his sides, Louis looked around to the swirling gray fog that seemed to erase the world around him as the sun overhead strained to cut through the murky abyss that was slowly falling further and further around Louis’ body and leaking into his head, when it was all suddenly brought back to life by the frantic beeping of a _machine_.

“Louis, you need to move!” Jay shouted suddenly as Louis’ eyes flew open only to freeze to the sight of Harry’s body constricted and tight on the bed beside him, Louis’ fingers immediately latching to the sheets as he tore away from Jay’s hold in defiance.

“Let me go! Harry!”

“Louis, you have to stop!” Jay shouted again as her hands wrapped to Louis’ middle and gave a firm yank, Harry’s hand smacking to wrap tightly to Louis’ wrist as his lips moved quietly without sound as Anne frantically swept the hair back from Harry’s forehead.

“Harry, sweetheart you have to come out of it.” Anne comforted gently as Jay still clung to Louis as Louis kept his place, his hands latching to Harry’s wrists as well as Harry’s body began to shiver violently as the seizure passed.

“Louis.” Harry choked through what sounded to be his tongue swollen too big for his mouth as Louis nodded quickly and tried vainly to sniffle away the tears the quietly ran his face, his back bucking Jay from around him as Louis curled tightly to Harry’s side as Harry rolled gratefully to the warmth that radiated him and cocooned him to safety and familiar love.

“I’m here, you’re going to be okay.” Louis whispered gently as his fingers smoothed across Harry’s cheekbone, Harry’s head shaking slightly as Louis barely caught the sweeping motion of a lithe body leaned against the opposite wall of the hospital room before it was gone in a disproportioned flash.

“I love you.” Harry promised tenderly as Louis found he was unable to contain the strangled sob that fell from his lips, Anne ducking her head to her hands in mourning to what she knew was slowly and quietly gracing the room as she began to pray for the gentle passing of her tiny angel.

“I love you, too.”

“Will you stay?” Louis hesitated as his face folded pitifully, his slight nod registering to Harry’s tunneling vision as Harry clambered to keep his head above the water that warmly licked up his neck.

“I’ll have to be ripped away.”

Louis smiled painfully through the tears that wet his cheeks sloppily as he observed what he knew would be the last blush of color to Harry’s cheeks and that soft, childlike ruffle of his hair. Louis would always love and remember those little dimples and the deep, rumbling laugh that would fall from Harry’s chest when he was truly tickled about something. Louis would always remember what it felt like to fall in love for the first time, and how his love would lift him to the top of the world only to tear him down and rip him painfully apart in the wake of reality breaking through the small barrier of the world of fantasy and innocence he and Harry had thrived in.

Because in their tiny world, Harry and Louis were kings. They weren’t weird, misunderstood invisible boys; they were kind and warm and without care of what it meant to feel pain or loss. And yet Louis understood now why Harry was so keen in living in his head, and it was only for the fact that life was so cold and so cruel to one of the most beautiful rays of sunlight that had ever crossed the small valley hidden within the hills just outside of London in the dreary fog, cloud cover and rain.

Curling quietly to Harry’s side and touching their foreheads to one another as Harry’s breath evened out into short, measured gasps, Louis slowly touched their lips sweetly together for one last time, a single tear dripping from Harry’s eyes squinted in pain to mingle to the corner of Louis’ mouth as Louis longed to thrive in that beautiful feeling of love and despair forever; for he would never feel as full.

“It’s beautiful.” Harry whispered suddenly as Louis didn’t dare look over his shoulder where Harry focused, a flash of Harry spinning down that long hill overlooking the village with the sun curling through his hair playing to Louis’ imagination before Louis felt Harry grow limp before him.

The sound of the room seemed to fade to a dull and subtle roar as Louis’ mouth parted in a panicked wail, Jay managing to rip Louis from the bed before he started screaming, his fingers ripping to the sheets to cling to Harry for as long as he could as Harry’s lips quirked in a tiny, forgiving smile. Louis could see everything so clearly and it was terrifying, the final image of an older Harry looking toward the window a last time before he seemed to evaporate into the air seeming to rip Louis apart the most as he knew that without Harry physically existing in _his_ world he would never live to be that nineteen-year-old that Louis had so blatantly longed to spend his days in growing old with and curling beneath the sheets of their flat together as they’d smiled in knowing what it was to memorize and love the other _truly_.

Louis knew he was still screaming, but he couldn’t feel the pain anymore as Jay yanked him toward the door, Anne curled gently over the limp and lifeless body that was no longer Harry anymore as Louis slammed his head back to Jay’s chest and howled to the loss of the love he’d never forget.

“I’m so sorry.” Jay repeated constantly as she moved from the way of the rushing nurses and staff that ushered to the body’s bedside, Louis’ nose beginning to bleed to the front of his shirt from the pressure welling in his head as he clambered and clawed his fingers through the air toward the bed that seemed a million miles away.

Held tightly to Jay’s chest as she managed to sit them both down with her own tears muffled to Louis’ shoulder, Louis couldn’t seem to stop the overwhelming sadness that caused him to scream and thrash in pain as a tiny, pale hand slipped over the side of the bed as if waving to him a final goodbye.

Never again would Louis experience what it was to see Harry fly down those back stairs or those short, cute puffs of smoke rising from those gracefully full lips that would pull into a smile every time Louis was within sight. Never again would Louis find a love he would run away with, and maybe that’s what hurt the most because even in his fantasies, Louis knew he would never have Harry back.

Feeling sick to the still thrumming race of his heart and the wails of despair ripping from his chest, Louis closed his eyes in defeat to the heart break of the loss of his world and the sunlight that keep warmth to his bones. Never again would Harry rush from the brambles and wild thistles to smile to Louis with love set in those wide, green eyes as they were now shut for his last and eternal adventure.

Forever a boy.

  
  


⊱⊰


	26. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

“It is to believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge and that myth is more potent than history. With which dreams are more powerful than facts and that hope always triumphs over experience. May laughter always be the only cure for grief and love be believed stronger than _death_.”

  
  


  
[Last Waltz](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w87dqSo3ALQ) | [Finding Silence](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rVmL30B4QI)  


 

 

All of life is letting go, but what hurts and scars the most is never taking the chance to say goodbye, to end something so beautiful and so full in such a fleeting motion of _death_. For one life to end and another to thrive was what was so overwhelming, but not sad or repressive. Death was _never_ to be sad, but rather life altering as it should’ve been whether for passion or wickedness. If walking with a blindfold on was what it was like to live without meaning or purpose, then Louis understood. It was bleak and desolate, but never scary or cold because that required understanding what it meant to _feel_ anymore, and Louis couldn’t.

Everyone was in the phase of trying to convince Louis that Harry was in a better place, and words couldn’t describe how much he hated that phrase, or how _right_ he knew they were. Harry was no longer in pain and no longer running from the monster, but Louis would always be selfish. Harry should’ve gotten better at Louis’ side, not a million miles away where Louis would never be able to smile in private to a tiny joke he and Harry shared or hold those warm little hands. Sniffling miserably to the frigid air that scratched at his neck and fled down the back of his coat, Louis didn’t shiver or shy away from the pain that prickled the hairs of his body.

It was somewhat of a relief to be brought away from the sight of Harry’s lifeless hand fallen from the side of the bed as Louis bit his tongue and ducked his head to his hands as he paused to the side of the road on his venture through the backstreets of the village that sat in the shadow of his home somewhere above that called him back safely. Unable to hold himself, Louis squatted slowly as his breaths began to spurt from his chest in tiny bursts that held no patience or time of giving Louis relief from the overwhelming disgust and sadness rendering him crippled and beaten.

Swiping away the tears that dryly clung to his chin, Louis pushed his tightly wound fists to his eyes as he begged that someone, Harry, God or even a guardian angel would relieve him of the hopeless dread that made walking impossible and breathing a chore.

“-You’re serious!” A voice shouted suddenly followed by a loud round of laughter as Louis’ head snapped up to the group of boys walking past the mouth of the street, the slivers of sun falling gently to their backs as they completely passed by without thought to look for Louis crouched in the shadows.

It was a strange yearning to want his old life back, and yet Louis didn’t want to ever have to think of a living a life where Harry hadn’t existed. Life was so beautiful in that short time that Harry was by, and though Louis had lost it all in caring and crying for Harry, he didn’t regret a moment. Swiping his arm beneath his nose and standing shakily, Louis followed slowly behind the group that eventually wound up at the footie pitch, Louis’ heart thrumming in his chest as he thought of the last time he’d stepped foot on that pitch and the last game he’d ever played, the reminiscing feeling of his own piss trickling down his leg setting a flush to Louis’ face in embarrassment as he swallowed and allowed his feet carry him blindly forward.

Biting to his bottom lip and swooping the dirtied fringe from his eyes, Louis paused to the street corner as he watched Tom’s street bike zoom past, Lou clung tightly to Tom’s back as her long hair cascaded in the wind, her finger pointed toward the hill in the direction of Louis’ house where Louis knew they would be waiting if he returned. As always, Jay was back to work pretending within days that Harry had never come in to disrupt her life and that Louis wasn’t miserable. Yet there was a part of his mother that Louis knew could feel him slowly slipping and fading away more so than before. It was astounding as to what parents were willing to overlook in trying to convince themselves that they’d not committed a fault, and Louis wasn’t sure whether he still hated Jay for keeping him away from Harry that day that seemed so long ago and haunted him endlessly, or whether he truly _loved_ her for it.

“Louis!” A voice called suddenly as Louis was snapped out of his watching Tom’s tiny bike disappear to the thick cover of trees engulfing the further hill as he turned his head toward the footie pitch across the road only to recoil in seeming disgust.

Louis wasn’t sure why he’d come to follow his old group of mates, but it now seemed ridiculous that he would even bother associating. They were innocent and knew nothing of what Louis had gone through, and even then from such a distance, Louis could still read the disdain in their eyes and the tight nature of their lips as they placed a front to trying to adapt to Louis’ presence being so close after such a lengthy absence. Turning away from Liam’s raised hand, Louis stuffed his fingers back to his coat pockets as he blindly fixed himself for the thick of trees surrounded to the edge of town that seemed to further themselves from his advances.

“Louis, wait!” Niall called from the other side of the street as a car horn blared loudly, what sounded to be Zayn’s shout of anger echoing across the street as Louis ducked his head without time to look back.

It had become a routine that Louis hated to have developed, but Louis wasn’t sure if he would ever forgive anyone that had doubted his and Harry’s connection or the fact that Harry was the purest thing that had ever graced that God forsaken village.

The boys hadn’t given Harry a chance once Zayn had set his foot down, and maybe now it was time Louis set _his_ foot down as well. He’d completely come full circle with Jay in a matter of time from Harry’s gracing his life to Harry being ripped away, and yet no matter how much gratitude he had toward the times that were good or where Harry had smiled in the face of pain and doubt, Louis couldn’t help but feel _they_ were the ones that had killed him.

While the monster had been Harry’s sickness, maybe the monster had also been Harry’s keen sense of knowing when people were being dishonest and ghastly in the name of saving their own asses simply for the fact of getting to know someone well enough to tear them down in the end; isn’t that what they’d done to Louis? Walking quickly for the shade and cover of the trees, Louis began his trek up the hill as the voices and moving shuffle of the village soon fell behind him, Louis’ fingers frozen and unmoving within his pockets, but he didn’t mind. Louis couldn’t feel his toes or his ears or his middle, but what did it matter? Maybe being numb wasn’t so bad.

Swallowing thickly and allowing a few more tears to pool to the corners of his eyes, Louis walked like this for what seemed longer than it should’ve to bring him back home without fear of lurking, dark figures through the fog, when he realized he _wasn’t_ home. Immediately his hands flew from his pockets as Louis let the brambles and tall weeds touch to the palms of his flattened hands, his eyes widening dramatically as Louis looked to his and Harry’s worn path that immediately brought a choked sob to his chest. And while he knew he shouldn’t, Louis couldn’t stop himself from venturing forward as he moved himself lithely through the trees to the tiny swing that hung limply from the rope that had begun to wither and fray in the cold and rain.

Coughing and unable to hold it in, Louis collapsed to his knees as he rested his elbows and forehead to the swing’s seat, his fingers clasped desperately about the rope that bit unkindly to his skin as he wept miserably, yet he wasn’t sure what he was weeping for anymore. Naturally, Louis was torn up about Harry’s death, but it seemed along with Harry being gone, Louis had lost a large part of himself as well that he knew he would never get back, and it was hopeless. Louis would never experience what it was to have a true adventure again or to know of a love in the capacity he’d felt with Harry, and it was dreadful knowing.

Laying there in the slick of ice pelting from the clouds that swallowed up what little chance of sun the village had been experiencing that day, Louis thought of what it had been like to witness older Harry’s figure in the cold, his cheeks rosy and his hair a bit straighter, yet still messy and pushed back as his face had registered mysterious and drawn, but so understanding and soft that Louis cringed to know that no matter how hard he would ever try to draw the vision captivated in his head, it would never be right like the real thing.

It should’ve been easy to pick himself up and walk the way he’d come to stand before the front door of his home that he’d been raised in to find the comfort of Jay waiting with a smile on her face and her hand laid to her pregnant stomach, but Louis wasn’t stupid. Things would never be the same in the aspect of finding that sweet solace of comfort and love that would take him away from the impending darkness that was surely _splashing_ up his legs and wetting his trouser legs.

Pitching forward to bring his knees tightly to his chest, Louis couldn’t stand the seams of the healing wounds that were holding his middle together ripping and unstitching apart from each other. Gasping painfully, Louis’ cries became choked and strangled as he only wished for one more moment spent with Harry, one more kiss, one more touch and one more smile. It wasn’t easy in losing everything that had been keeping him held together, and as his hands grew wet with the blood that began to trickle to the leaves beneath him, Louis knew this was something that would never let him rest.

They had said that Harry had a condition in his brain, something that had played to Louis’ loneliness and large imagination which stood reason as to why the two had grown so close and had seen the same things, but Louis wasn’t going to just stand the bullshit and the lies. He and Harry had become so close because they were in love, and while elders twice their age hadn’t ever known love up close and personal, Louis _had_ , and adults like Jay couldn’t stand it. Rolling slowly to his back with his hands clasped tightly to his bleeding middle, Louis closed his eyes gently to the gust of wind that seemed to surround the small space as the frozen and dead thistles seemed to uncurl from the structure of the castle, which now truly only looked to be the rotted and hollowed stump of a tree that was withering from the inside out.

Louis could still think of the first time he’d seen Harry and not known that something so genuine and beautiful could only be, that something so sweet wasn’t _meant_ to live in a world so cruel and unjust. Louis had been so stupid and so vulnerable, but he knew that Harry wasn’t the blame for the split of his middle and the searing pain that raced up his arms and down his legs, his fingers curling tightly to the wetted material of his coat buttoned tightly around him so as to keep his guts from falling away.

 _Louis_ was the reason for his own pain, and while there were always different ways of getting rid of that pain, Louis was the type to dwell and never heal because maybe feeling a spike of pain or a shock of adrenaline coursing from a wound only he could see and feel was a sort of liberation from the nothing he’d always been swathed in; nothing was lonely, and Louis was lonely. Again.

“I miss you.” Louis whispered gently as a tear slowly crawled from the corner of his eye to cling from his earlobe, a tiny wind bustling through Louis’ matted hair as he longed to know that Harry was somewhere in Heaven, watching and praying that Louis pick himself up. “I just want you to tell me what to do, because I can’t even see you anymore.”

Louis’ fingers snatched to the middle of his coat as he felt the blood rush to the dirt beneath him, his eyes squeezing tightly shut as a choked peal of laughter rang from his chest in insanity.

“Why can’t I see you anymore? You existed! Why won’t you come back? I just-” Louis cut short as he snapped to his side, the crippling blow to his spine stealing the breath from his chest as he longed to cry but found that tears would no longer suffice the pain he was constantly battling to keep, because pain was what remained of the castle falling away in the cold, and pain was what remained of Harry. “I’m so scared, Harry!”

“Louis.”

Sitting immediately without a wince to the pain that seemed to ebb, Louis looked frantically toward the castle that sat desolate and dark, the ruffle of what looked to be a piece of paper snatching his attention as Louis frowned through the bleary gaze that he was afraid was deceiving him. Crawling slowly and warily in fear on hands and knees toward the note that seemed to be stuck through a single twig that refused to release grip to its place that Louis could remember Harry placing, Louis frowned to the thought of the note he’d left for Harry that Harry had probably never known of or thought to look for.

Frowning and extending a hand carefully forward, Louis’ eyes widened in disbelief to the different texture of the paper that had been smoother from his own as Louis’ hands began to shake and his bottom lip quivered in terror. Settling back with the breath of the woods heavy to his back, Louis’ fingers slowly unfolded the piece of paper that threatened to crumble and rip under too much of strain from the rain and sleet as he slowly revealed a gentle, delicate scrawl that Louis immediately knew was _Harry’s_.

“Oh my God.” Louis breathed as his hands slowly died to his thighs, the piece of paper clutched tightly in place as Louis’ tongue suddenly seemed too big for his mouth, choking him of air and constricting his brain of oxygen.

Before his eyes were able to settle to the first word of the note, Louis jumped to the forceful shake of the ground around him as he spun quickly to a long, scaled body slicking around the clearing in the wake of a graceful tail that seemed to settle by Louis’ side. Preparing his lungs to scream for fear of the ginormous head that seemed to uncurl from within the body of the millions of brilliantly colored scales that held sunlight and beauty, Louis paused with a frown to his face as the familiar shape of the princess of one of Harry’s first adventures slowly rounded the dragon’s head and patted it between the eyes softly.

Carefully looking toward _Ginger_ twisting from beneath the dragon’s giant, clawed foot to curl beside his knee, Louis smiled pitifully to the characters of _Where The Wild Things Are_ emerging from the slight burst of fog that seemed to line the trees that waved carefully in the breeze. Waiting vainly for the mastermind of all these different pieces of the puzzle, Louis knew Harry would never step from the shadows as he ducked his head back to the note, his eyes quietly tracing the words written majestically to the paper as a long, warm hand fell down his cheek before fading away to the imaginary beings that watched Louis slowly crumble to dust.

Gathering a shuddering breath to his lungs, Louis’ hands fisted the paper weakly as the last line of the note seemed to stab to his wound unbearably, his head tossing back on his neck as a blood curdling scream seemed to pierce the air settling heavily around his shoulders as Louis realized what it meant to actually die while still breathing. Though there were no tears to comfort his frozen skin, Louis still uncontrollably sobbed with swollen lips and a running nose as the note clutched tightly over his heart in the pain that seemed to run down his spine and claw the skin and material of his coat away to expose him fully to the Winter that unforgivingly moved in.

It was an awful feeling, to be watched by all these incredible beings of Harry’s imagination only to know that they could never touch and comfort him in the way he needed, as every imaginary refraction of light seemed to bow its head in respect to their fallen _king_. Fighting to catch his breath as Louis began coughing forcibly, Louis was lucky to turn his head away before he retched anything he’d managed to fight into his stomach for the past days his appetite had fled. Louis so desperately wanted someone to look for him, for someone to fight for him or tell him that it was going to be okay, but Louis knew it was a vain attempt.

Without minding, Louis crawled through his own vomit until he was laid to the middle of Harry’s hollow, the breeze stronger and warmer here as Louis fell to his side with his eyes still trained fully to the house that sat above on the hill in darkness, the curtains and doors sealed and locked tightly as there was no longer a thriving life and light to permeate to the bleak and dark windows illuminating the trees and brush beneath. Tracing his eyes slowly to his small and dying tree that still stood shredded and beat up from the monster’s claws and teeth, Louis couldn’t decide what he should feel, his eyes suddenly seeming to freeze widely in his head as his lips parted in knowing.

It had been the best time, and Louis could see every boy running down those back stairs as they’d made their way toward Harry’s _secret_ spot, their feet pounding on the ground past his head as Louis knew what he would have to do. It was crazy and it didn’t make sense, but Louis was willing to do anything that would bring Harry back to him. Anything that would shower those curls and those haunting eyes back in a gentle sunlight that would forever settle Louis’ soul for just one last time.

Standing shakily with his back to the puffs of imagination that seemed to wind and dwindle away to Louis’ measured step to the thicker woods, Louis shoved the note to his blood soaked coat pocket as he turned his face up to the _first snow_ that curled down from the high treetops whistling gently overhead.

“Louis.” The wind seemed to whisper as a snowflake caught to Louis’ eyelash, the feeling of warm, tiny arms wrapping to his middle seeming to ease Louis from the fear of what he knew he was about to do as his feet paused in venture to the whistling that grew ever louder scrambling through his ears.

Through the march and call of the branches and twigs snapping and singing together that could barely grace to the edges of the fabricated ripples and folds of Heaven somewhere high above, Louis closed his eyes to the snow curling and kissing to his cheeks as a final tremor of Harry’s laughter rang like lighting from the branches of the trees and throughout the hollowed holes that housed their adventures and tales of lands and dreams of far away places. And though he could smile in appreciation, Louis knew Harry was further away than what he was able to reach.

Another love would never come, and Louis wasn’t going to be ignorant about it, so while he stumbled and tripped over the branches and frozen bundles of leaves and mud, Louis fought to hold his middle together as he was vehemently ripped apart for the last time. Louis quietly passed the blonde haired girl’s house without thought of the wicked witch Harry had portrayed to his mind as Louis knew she was now only a simple girl with a longing for the love of the one _he’d_ taken away, and with that thought, Louis couldn’t be angry.

Laughing softly, Louis’ fingers dug tighter to the fabric of his coat while crunching up the letter further as he reveled in the warmth he’d experienced that had been so whole and so pure, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever have chance to make another understand what it was to be truly happy if they were to never fully experience it themselves. He wasn’t sure if he’d find it, but Louis couldn’t stop trying because somewhere in the back of his head, Louis felt that Harry was lost and needed to be found.

Slipping gently down a little slope that grew slick to the light dusting of snow and firming ice, Louis’ forehead crinkled to the thought of maybe _he_ was the one that needed to be found in a world where no one would dare look for an invisible boy, just as no one had dared to look for Harry until Louis had insisted and begged. Turning his face slowly to the kiss of the wind and the snow that was piling to exposed roots and frozen weeds, Louis could still hear Harry in his head questioning about the coming of the first snow, the sickly twisted irony of the snow only coming after Harry was gone threatening to make Louis sick again as his ears perked to what he thought he heard close by.

Swallowing horribly to the decision that wavered hazily to his mind, Louis locked sight to the bridge ahead that he could still see himself and the other boys quickly crossing before they’d all dashed back to Zayn’s crashing through the rotted wood, Louis’ eyes closing to the sweet vision of Harry kicking his shoes off and losing his tiny flower crown to the rushing tide in his attempt of being the one that would pull Zayn from the frigid gush that had swallowed him up.

The river didn’t seem as mystifying as it had when Harry was there, and yet Louis still found himself slipping over the fallen logs and fighting through the tangles of overgrown river grasses as he slipped to the bank only to catch himself slowly as one of his shoes splashed to the cold current that quickly shocked his system. Blinking in surprise and snatching to his pocket to make sure the note was still firmly in place, Louis swung around to sit to his bum gently as he held himself in place with his feet fighting to latch through the ice to the soft mud below that slowly began to give to the roar of the river before him.

Moving the fringe back from his forehead that tickled to the bridge of his nose, as Louis knew he needed a haircut desperately, Louis’ thoughts soon eased his eyes closed to what it would feel had Harry lived to welcome Summer with Louis, Louis free of having to charter back and forth to primary everyday so he would know what it was to walk carefree to Harry’s side in the sun that would show tenderly from the cradle of soft curls piled messily to top of Harry’s head as they’d walked hand-in-hand down through the village simply enjoying the other’s company.

Louis couldn’t help but choke slightly to the thought of what he knew would never be, because Harry was gone as the cold and harsh sense of Winter came, her unforgiving fingers wrenching through Louis’ coat and chilling his exposed and still bleeding middle as he longed for that sense of security that was long since shredded away. It was all unjust, the memories that lingered and the life that could’ve been as Louis lingered and wallowed in the lost promise of growing up with Harry, to know and love the grown Harry that had known so much of what it was to be older and _free_. And yet Louis knew that it would never exist, that promising life that Louis knew could’ve happened in another world, another life that would’ve had the light and love to thrive had the monster never come. But as it stood, it was all simply a pipedream, altered by one significant bump and wrinkle in time that was never to be smoothed out or erased away.

Slowly palming a few slicked and speckled river rocks to his pocket, Louis smoothed the note against his thigh as he sniffed uncomfortably to the cold that was slowly growing colder as the bite to his skin intensified before he stuffed the note back away. Louis had so much to live for, and yet he had nothing he wanted because anything that he wanted seemed so impossible to achieve, and maybe that’s what made it so unappealing to _live_ anymore. Biting to his bottom lip as Louis stubbornly pushed his feet to the rushing river water that nearly swept him away with the angry current, Louis sucked in a breath to bite back the push of a shout that threatened to spill from his lips as the painful grip of the cold snatching to his skin felt as though it were ripping away from bone and muscle.

It could only be justified as a cleansing, a spiritual wash of the corruption and darkness that ran Louis through and turned his soul inky black and withered as he managed to wade out to the middle of the river, his body turned toward the still broken and crumbling bridge as he could see where the boards had caved in to pitch Zayn to the current swirling vehemently below. It was stupid and rash and completely unheard of, but Louis couldn’t seem to convince his body to raise from the water that soaked his clothes completely and washed the blood from the thick material as it seemed to bloom in the water around him as Louis lay back in the image of his hair fanned from his head, his eyes quietly slipping closed.

And while it seemed that everything was so loud and harsh above the surface, beneath the surface Louis could hear Harry whispering in his ear and gathering his hand, Louis’ fingers flexing through the water on instinct as the icy water wrapped to him tightly and comforted him beneath the crashing stream that washed his face coolly. Maybe Louis was tired of waiting for someone to save him, because in the one chance he’d seen for life to become better and to completely liberate him of the daily shit that wore to his brain and threatened to break him down and bury him in a silk lined coffin much like Harry’s, Louis grew weary.

Louis was tired of holding the weight of the world to his shoulders without possibility of ever recovering, or having someone stand to his side to ease the pain to his back and joints as he grew stumped and old with the pressure and depression that was slowly retiring him from the inside out. Nostrils flaring to the cold rush of water that Louis accidently breathed in and snorted down the back of his throat, Louis opened his mouth to cough only to gather a large mouthful of water, his feet kicking to push him from the water that suddenly surged over his head as Louis clambered to the rocks that shifted unkindly beneath his weight in the most dangerous of ways.

“Help!” Louis sputtered quickly as he coughed to the water that again filled his mouth, Louis’ eyes squinting closed to the cold burn to his swollen and tired eyes as he kicked his feet to his fingers clawing through the water as he found himself unable to move.

A wave of panic seemed to wash throughout Louis’ body as he struggled to push his lips above the water’s surface as he gathered a large mouthful of air, water flooding his nose and running violently down the back of his throat as Louis’ arms and fingers scratched to hold to something that would _never_ be there, because _Harry_ should’ve been there. Harry should’ve been there to tell Louis of the note that he’d left in suspecting Louis would come back to find it, and Harry should’ve been there to tell Louis that he wasn’t waiting in the whispers of the water licking past the banks as Louis had once childishly thought.

Raking his fingers through his pockets to remove the stones, Louis couldn’t believe how many more seemed to just fill the empty spaces, his eyes opening painfully beneath water as he could see them trickling away and falling back to place amongst those on the bottom, but never fully leaving him be. It was then, trying to save himself from the extra weight and his arms growing limp, Louis watched in panic to Harry’s note floating from his pocket as the similar image of _two stick boys_ at the bottom of the page met his fuzzy sight that Louis wasn’t sure of whether it was due to the harsh of the water or his own tears of knowing that Harry wouldn’t have wanted this for him.

Louis watched with the breath fading from his lungs as he thought to older Harry sitting with him in the window seat of Louis’ house as Louis had drawn _exactly_ the same image that now floated and ripped away in the water of the two stick kings that held tightly to one another as one proudly wore what looked to be a pointy, sloppily cut crown of thick paper and metallic sheets. Louis knew it wasn’t smart, but he wasn’t sure of what he was supposed to do when he opened his mouth to scream, the faint sound meeting to his own blurred and faraway hearing as Louis soon gathered the feeling of the floating he’d once experienced at Jay’s hands in the power of a tiny little pill.

Weakly fighting to release his trouser leg and foot from the massive rock that only further shifted to hold him down, Louis’ eyes caught to a vision of something seeming to release from down stream as he squinted before his mind was numbing to what little piece of Harry he’d _not_ expected to find. Floating toward him in a crumbling and deteriorating state, Louis blindly reached out his hand to touch to the crown of flowers floating quietly past him as Louis’ heart clenched and his lungs began to heave to the loss of oxygen.

Without notice to the discomfort, Louis slowly stroked a finger to the soft, wet petals of those tiny frozen flowers that had once tangled to Harry’s hair as the crown itself came completely apart, the many rich colors of the flowers seeming to bleed away to the darkness caving to Louis’ vision as he wondered if tears would still fall, even under water. Curling his fingers tightly to his palms, Louis weakly again tried to free his leg as he could feel Harry’s soft heart thudding to his chest as he’d only willed Louis stay with him a bit longer, his tiny body growing cold and withered to Louis’ side as Louis was still haunted by that hand falling over the side of the bed in a sort of quiet and prolonged goodbye that neither of them had been prepared for.

While it never made sense to think of what little good had happened in his mess of darkness and red eyes that stalked from the darkness, Louis could remember the slight good things and the tiny touches and kisses that would last with him for a lifetime. Louis could remember what it was to run with Harry, even if it were only a figment of his imagination, through that tiny, private garden in back of the museum as he’d only return another day to find Harry bent over Ginger’s mangled body. Louis could remember what it was to swirl his toes to the constellations as Harry had pressed to his side and giggled in amusement, his arms wrapped to Louis’ middle as he’d played with the roll Louis hated, and gripped wildly for the book that possessed of that beautiful love letter that Louis had almost forgotten.

Struggling to keep his eyes opening and _gasping_ for breath that was slowly fleeing his lungs, Louis watched sadly to the large bubbles that fell from his lips and nose to rise to the quiet and undisturbed surface above that would never tell of the horror occurring beneath as they popped innocently without tale. We are all born to die, and while death is something we will never be able to escape, Louis knew that while he wanted Harry back, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to go yet. But could it really be that bad? Pulling his arms to his chest to hold his sides tightly in vain attempt of keeping himself warm, Louis never let his eyes fall away from the fragmented rays of sunlight crashing through the trees and lightly falling snow above through the ripples of the river moving overhead.

Suspended in darkness, Louis knew he would never go to primary again or lay to the window of the bus rumbling toward home as he watched the other children push and shove to one another at the prospect of visiting the other’s house. Louis would never avoid Eleanor again, _gasp_ , or play with the other boys. Louis would never kiss to Lottie’s chubby cheeks that were thinning with age or lay with the sibling that was growing and turning within Jay’s belly, _gasp_. Louis would only ever be known as a picture on the wall and a memory passed through tears and a swipe of shaking fingers to a puffy and tight cheek, and Louis didn’t know if he wanted that yet.

Louis’ eyes burned as he fought to the current and the water again flooding his mouth, _gasp_ , his hands flailing to claw through the soft clay of the bottom of the riverbed as the rock fought back to never let him go. Struggling, Louis’ head fell back in despair as his eyes settled to the appearance of the faint _silhouette_ of what looked to be a tossed head of curls perched beneath a tiny, home-cut crown peeking over the side of the bank above.

As the warm sunlight further pronounced the body leaning further and closer over the surface of the water Louis grew weaker, _gasp_ , his eyes crossing in dizzying confusion to the hand extending the surface above and touching softly to his cheek. Louis would miss a lot of things if this were how he was to go, but would anyone come looking for him? Would anyone miss him? And what had older Harry meant when he asked Louis what he thought it meant to die, as Louis now wondered as well? The sunlight permeating the water overhead was warmer than he’d ever felt, and so much brighter than had ever graced the tiny valley that Louis could’ve sworn that Heaven had come. _Gasp_.

Smiling stupidly to the hand moving across his lips and seeming to soothe the fear from his mind to the familiar warmth that Louis hadn’t known could exist again, Louis couldn’t help but wonder to how at times life was cruel and complicated. Sometimes it required an iron fist and an exposed and bleeding back in the inky dark of the somber nothing to hit rock bottom to truly show us how weak or strong we can truly be, and yet sometimes life allowed us to thrive in its sweet breath of promise that tomorrow was to come with a warm embrace and a kiss to the neck with the whisper of an ushered “I love you.”

And sometimes, _gasp_ , people die.

  
  


⊱⊰

 


	27. Afterword

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an originally Tumblr posted fanfiction at: flowerheaddress.tumblr.com/post/52557641118/acotat-masterlist
> 
> ⊱⊰

 

[Life In Slow Motion](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnpAgs3uxqI)

  
  


_Dear Louis,_

_I’m not sure whether I should tell you of this note, but I feel like it’s my place to ~~esplaine~~ explain everything that is going on, yeah? Louis, I’m sick._

_The doctors say it’s something I’ll pull throu ~~e~~ gh but it’s getting harder by the day to not tell you everything that’s going on. I’m the reason the monster is here, and I don’t want to tell you it’s because of me because I know you’ll leave. I’ve never really had a real friend before that didn’t go away when they found out, and I love you so much that if you were to leave me I would rather just die. They told me I would._

_I didn’t know your mum worked in ~~hopsital~~ hospital but I’m waiting for the day you never come back because she’s told you. Because I didn’t tell you, I understand that you wanted to leave, but I’m so selfish and I can’t let you go._

_I was at your window the other night and I know you heard me, but I’m not angry you didn’t let me in because the monster was behind me, and I didn’t want you to get hurt again. I believe you, in everything you say you see and the things you say you go through, and I’m so sorry that I’ve brought the monster to your life where it doesn’t belong._

_I’ve always wondered though, what would happen if I weren’t running from it anymore? Because I have this feeling I’m going to die, Louis and it scares me. But how do you not die? I can’t leave you! I wouldn’t make it if you left me for good, and I’m so glad you ~~co~~ came back! I waited for you everyday, but if you decide to go away for good I promise won’t be ~~sad~~ angry._

_I wonder when the first snow will come? D’you think it will be large snowflakes that fall slowly and quietly or a storm? It’s always stormed so much here, I think ~~their~~ there needs to be a bit of peace._

_What does it mean to be an ~~emortul~~ immortal beloved, Louis? And will you be mine? I’ve always fancied a flat in the city as well, and I’ve gone to looking around the house for lo(o)se change to help you, because I think I’d like to go away as well._

_Maybe warmth will get rid of the monster and the headache that never goes away._

_I’m scared to die and I never want to leave you because I gave my word, but I can hear my mum crying about it like I’m already gone. Gemma was kind enough to help me look through this letter, but she’s still a total nit._

_I have to get better, I **want** to get better, Louis._

_For you._

_Promise._

_Harry_

  


⊱⊰

 


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